#1524 – What Expats Learn the Hard Way: Spanish, Immigration, Power Outages & Latin America Reality

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you ex-pad wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Here's a little update on my upcoming November expat insider seminar Which will be taking place in Guatemala and El Salvador from November 13th through 20th Since I need a close headcount pretty soon to book hotels and make other arrangements

[00:47] I previously made the cutoff for the early bird discount, which is by the way a thousand dollars off the regular price I previously made that cutoff date October 15th to receive that discount. Well, I'm moving that date up to September 20th, so you've got a little over two weeks to get in on that discount now As I mentioned before about 95% of attendees take advantage of that discount So I know on the day the discount ends the final head count pretty accurately So I'm sort of guided by hotels and their booking and accommodation policies because you see We always strive to keep our group in the same hotels, which makes it much more convenient for everyone So again as this show first goes out on September 4th and the early bird discount ends on September 20th

[01:34] You've got two weeks to get in on that thousand dollar discount. Oh, and of course for all you repeat offenders We always have repeat offenders you get an additional thousand dollar discount off the early bird price So for all the info and sign-up details go to expatplanb.com. That's expatplanb.com Then click on the seminar link in the middle of the page Alright, now let's talk a little bit about learning your Spanish once you get down here Which is something I'd say about 70 to 80 percent of gringos never really do mostly because 70 to 80 percent of gringos and expats live in gringoized areas where it's not really necessary to speak Spanish or So they believe a big fault in the system if you ask me Reminds me of Latinos I meet down here in Latin America who've lived up in the states for 10 20 even 30 years to come back

[02:25] Down here for vacation. Of course, they're a hundred percent fluent in Spanish, but their English Absolutely sucks and for me It's so hard to believe someone could live up in the states for that many years and not absorb English I'd say it's an absolute failure of the system to let government schools and forms and street signs Etc to be in Spanish. So foreigners could adapt you see what it's done. Of course, it's dissuaded Immigrants from wanting to assimilate so they never really do and it's a dirty shame but you see that all the time happening here in Latin America with gringos and expats as well a very big percentage don't learn Spanish So they don't assimilate though It seems Latino governments are not foolish enough to have government signs and forms and schools in English Anyway, we all certainly want to learn Spanish

[03:11] Though most of us never do now as for me since I've always been a language dunce I can speak pretty authoritatively on this subject since my hook and crook I finally was able to learn the Spanish language took me about five years of living down here though Before it actually kicked in by the way, you might think it's a slow and gradual process and the truth is for me At around three or four years. I thought I'm never gonna learn this. I just don't kid I thought I'm just gonna have to go through life here in Latin America with that handicap now back in those days late 80s early 90s It was just so much harder to communicate with people down here If you didn't know Spanish with no internet no Google Translate no AI helpers It took a lot of effort all of us gringos and expats back then just carried a little Spanish English

[03:59] Dictionary on us at all times for language dunces like me That was the only way you could get your point across or understand what anyone is saying Even then it was such a tedious process, you know going to the dictionary Looking up things word for word. Of course in no time you pick up the common phrases, you know, Buenos días Elpanyo the bathroom and other words like surveysa comida Hermano or manna nino, you know those simple words mostly nouns, by the way And believe me if you only know nouns like I did in the first couple of years like referee, you know refrigerator Mesa desk see a chair Well, if you only know nouns You'll never be able to put a sentence together because you need some verbs to supply the action and for us language dunces

[04:46] That complicates things anyway for me There was a moment about five years in when I suddenly started to understand people now Of course, my understanding people was a lot better than my personally communicating with him The Spanish words coming out of my mouth were kind of halting and hesitant with the verbs nouns and adjectives sort of mixed up in The wrong order but intelligible enough for most Latinos to get what I was trying to say I'll put it this way before you get a decent command of the Spanish language. You'll have to spend some time Murdering it. Oh, and you'll know you're murdering it All right, when you see the look on the Latinos face, you're trying to communicate with you'll realize it and feel a bit dense When the person you're talking to doesn't seem to get what you're saying at all And so you'll repeat it maybe slower maybe louder then surprise surprise most times that person will get it or some of what you're saying

[05:37] Anyway, the thing is don't be afraid to murder the language You'll get used to feeling like a fool even though Latinos will never treat you like one Because you see they have great tolerance for gringos trying to speak their language Unlike the people in some other countries like France for example Oh and just when you think you have it when you think it's clicking in Again, you'll realize that's happening when Latinos you're talking to don't scrunch their faces and look confused when you're talking to them When that stops happening, you'll think man. I finally got it. You'll be so self-satisfied That certainly happened to me Like I said after about five years of living down here now that self-satisfaction went on for about a year or two or three Then you realize you're still only communicating like maybe a third grader simple short sentences

[06:26] Small words nothing fancy. So for me and a lot of gringo to the next pass will hit that plateau Once again, you start feeling some discontent like you've only just broken through the surface You're only treading water and nothing sort of drives that home harder is when you're at a party or sitting around with a bunch of Latinas Or Latinos and they're making jokes with each other They always do laughing and chuckling but you don't get the jokes at all They just don't connect with you and at first you think it's because they have a different more childish sense of humor And call me classist or racist whatever and in fact, they do their jokes and humor are very childish In fact, their jokes and humor are super racist and super sexist And believe me would not be tolerated at all in the woke first world. We come from let's just say the racist and sexist jokes

[07:12] You and I laughed at when we were high school and college kids are alive and well at parties and get-togethers here in Latin America even more childish than a stupid knock-knock joke. That's just the Latino and Latina sense of humor But that's really not why us gringles and expats don't get the joke or don't laugh because you see I've noticed that when I Translate a funny English joke into Spanish, you know joining it at a party when everyone's joking and I get my chance Well often the more intelligent Latinos in the crowd will get the joke and laugh But more often than not when the few who get it laugh the rest will laugh along out of a sort of courtesy Nope, they don't get the joke at all, but they laugh anyway often You see they'll laugh along with a blank stare on their faces, and you know, they didn't get the joke

[07:58] They're just being polite as Latin culture sort of demands So here's my observation about Latino of humor and many gringles and expats living down here Certainly agree, but don't talk about it in mixed company when you realize that the average person in Latin America has an IQ of about 85 and 100 is the norm up in the first world now. Don't shoot the messenger. Look it up yourself. Check chat GPT Grock anthropic any of them. Anyway, we're not population's average IQ is 85 It's easy to see why sophisticated jokes with double and triple entendres. Just don't make the rounds here in Latin America Those kind of jokes just don't land with an 85 IQ but sexist racist and knock-knock jokes Well, that kind of humor sucks in every common denominator Same thing goes with Latino comedians here and TV shows, etc

[08:47] It's just a bombardment of sexist and racist jokes and Latinos laugh their asses off Oh and believe it or not big cities here in Latin America have comedy clubs and famous comedians And obviously to get famous in that line of work You have to know your crowd and as a rule comedians the good ones are highly intelligent That's a proven fact in whatever country they live in So the good ones the successful ones the ones that make a living at it gauges a crowd and hit him with jokes They know they're gonna understand now. Here's the thing I've actually spoken to a few Latino comedians and to a person they marvel at Latino comedians up in the states Who have become famous with their take on Latino life in the United States? Most all Latino comics in the States do their shows in English and appeal to all crowds

[09:32] I guess you could say the first one to come along was Freddie Prince Remember him had a famous TV show in the 70s called Chico and the man By the way, he committed suicide with a gun at 22 Aside from that talking to a couple Latino comedians down here in Latin America. They tell me they admire Latino comedians up in the States who based their whole act On the Latino experience of immigrants in the States Anyway, I was told that kind of Latino comedy up in the States could never translate down here to Latin America Even though it's Latinos who are doing that comedy. I was told down here Those kind of jokes would go over everyone's head except of course with upscale Educated Latinos who travel back and forth to the States. They would get the jokes, but the average Latino You got to hit them with racist and sexist jokes or they won't laugh

[10:21] Oh and you can throw in a few political jokes too and jokes about cops because everyone knows how thoroughly corrupt The bureaucracy is down here, but I digress as usual. What were we talking about? Oh, yeah Gringo's an expense learning Spanish and hittin a certain plateau now There's another interesting phenomena that happens often when a gringo has a latina girlfriend who speaks no English or A gringo an American girl has a latino boyfriend who doesn't speak English I'm telling you this because i've had this kind of conversation with many a gringo and gringo who've had latino or latino partners They'll tell me that after they've been with their latino or latina partner for a year or two Speaking nothing, but spanish at home or in the car. Whatever They tell me it's the best way to upgrade their spanish skills

[11:08] And of course, that's nothing new everyone knows if you have a latina girlfriend or latino boyfriend who speaks no or a little english Your spanish skills within a few months will take a huge leap And you'll certainly feel good about that and as your spanish language skills improve in a major way with your partner You'll certainly gain self-confidence But there'll come a time and this has happened to me in almost every gringo expat I know who has been in that situation There'll come a time when you realize that your mate your better half has accommodated to your particular spanish language incongruities and Inconsistencies in other words the way you screw up certain word endings consistently as is your pattern As you misplace and skip verbs and adjectives As we do because it's not our primary language because we all have a certain particular manner of speaking

[11:58] The fact is because you're isolated in an apartment or house with your spanish speaking better half Well as you might imagine your partner will get very used to your particular Linguistic mannerisms and malapropisms and he or she will soon understand you completely But here's the rub that does not necessarily translate to the outside world That's what happened to me and just might happen to you too After about five years of being here in latin america and my spanish started kicking in Obviously kicked in first with my girlfriend to an amazing degree My girlfriend who spoke no english at all and I was so happy even thrilled with myself What an accomplishment, huh? Anyway soon enough when we were out and about as i'd converse with other latinos in supermarkets bars restaurants banks, etc

[12:46] My girlfriend who'd often accompany me When i'd start to speak say a sentence or ask a question to someone else more often than not She'd jump in and repeat what I just said. So why would she do that? Well, I soon realized The other person would only catch part of what I said didn't quite get the full meaning But my girlfriend certainly did because she Knew my particular gringoized version of spanish phrasing from day one Now we're talking about a long time ago when I noticed that was first happening 25 or even 30 years ago But guess what that still happens to me today Sometimes not all the time i'll be out and about with my girlfriend Speaking to a latino or latina in my gringoized spanish and when i've finished my bloviating She'll repeat the same thing in a slightly different way because she with her

[13:34] latina sensibilities picked up on the fact that The other person was not necessarily Understanding everything I was saying again. It's because Us non-native speakers pick up and sometimes develop our own certain linguistic habits that don't connect completely with your Regular latino speakers. Does that make sense? Well, let's just say if you're down here long enough You'll find all that out. It will happen to you Unless of course you're one of those vast numbers of gringos and expats living on the gringo tours trail Hanging with gringos and expats and living in gringoized subdivisions, etc, etc Then you can forget everything I just said. Oh well All right Speaking of things you learn along the way living here in latin america that you'll never Learn living up in the united states. I'm talking about stuff. That's almost never publicized up in the first world media

[14:23] Speaking of the evils of immigration illegal and otherwise not up in the united states, but here in latin america Wouldn't you like to know what latin american people living down here think about illegal immigration? Not illegals entering the states illegals entering their own latin american countries Well in 2025 there was a huge poll taken in every latin american country by a company called latino barometer They do surveys down here like gallup poll does up in the states Anyway, i'm looking at a chart right now based on this poll that says eight in ten peruvians See immigration to their country as harmful illegal or not Though when the same poll was taken five years ago peru registered only 40 percent saying that immigration was harmful

[15:10] Now it's double that 80 percent the worst in all of latin america experts are saying this shift in perception stems from the greater visibility of Venezuelan migrants who pretty much invaded all latin american countries in the last five years So here's what expert latin american sociologists are concluding They're saying that peru was praised for its humanitarian response to the venezuelan humanitarian crisis back in 2017 They took on a ton of venezuelas They said come on down with the country of peru becoming home to the second largest venezuelan diaspora In latin america behind the number one venezuelan destination columbia only natural because they share a huge border with it Turns out as of late 2025 the census data in peru shows that venezuelans make up

[15:58] Over 85 percent of all immigrants in peru And are so visible in peruvian cities that most peruvians according to this poll 80 of them are Now pissed off that they let them in claiming the national narrative on the streets of peru with the locals is that The venezuelan migration since 2017 has led to massive increases in crime Job scarcity and institutional breakdown Sound familiar that same feeling is seen elsewhere in latin america where most latin americans When polled are convinced that migrants of any kind legal or illegal are threats to the local social order And here we thought that kind of attitude only exists in the minds of citizens living in the us and europe Nope, it turns out latin americans feel the same way about migrants moving into their countries

[16:48] By the way looking at this chart based on the poll. There's a running list of latin american countries who hate and fear immigration the most again mostly spurred on by the venezuelan despora I mentioned peru came out first with 80.4 percent of its people polled saying they dislike even hate What recent immigrants have done to their country so peru came in at number one number two surprisingly enough is ecuador 80.2 percent of ecuadorians say the same thing Oh, and by the way, you might recall ecuador is considered the number one Gringo expat retirement destination in the world So can we infer then since 80 percent of ecuadorians hate or dislike what immigration has done to their country That they're including gringo expats in that group I wonder not so far fetched, huh

[17:36] Since we do 10 when we come down in numbers to outprice the locals in their own cities number three panama with 76.7 percent of people polled saying They hate or dislike what recent immigrants have done to their country number four columbia with 76.3 percent saying that Number five bolivia number six dominican republic with 60 percent of people Saying they hate or dislike what recent immigrants have done to their country and they're not talking about venezuelans in the dr They're talking about haitians who by the way, they regularly pick up and boot out of the country Then of course, they sneak right back in because there's no fencer wall between the two countries Doesn't that sound familiar as well? So then above the 20 latin american countries who's on the bottom of that list the people who accept immigration without

[18:23] Too much negativity even in the wake of this huge venezuelan diaspora Well, surprisingly enough. It's argentina where only 27 percent of people polled about a quarter of them dislike or hate what recent immigrants have done to their country though some experts claim it's because venezuelans didn't storm into argentina like they did the rest of latin america because argentina has a super high cost of living Same reasoning as to why a homeless person in the states would much rather live in florida or california than chicago or canada Where you just freeze your ass off in winter whereas in florida or california, you could just pitch a tent All right moving on something i've noticed over the years That's changed dramatically with gringo expats here in latin america is that people just don't read books anymore

[19:10] So I know you're thinking what else is new man I'll tell you when I first got down here Practically every single gringo and next pet I have met down here including backpackers had a book or two on them again That was before the internet which changed everything In fact, you heard me say this before i'd be in a line in a bank or a government office Often i'd be the only gringo there In a line with maybe 10 20 even 30 people and i'd be the only one with a book Though if there was another gringo or expat or backpacker in the line It was almost certain they'd have a book too So if reading books is a lost art, why am I bringing it up? Well because I just stumbled down to a widely cited study from yale that followed 3635 adults over the age of 50 for 12 years They found that the applicants who read books for 30 minutes or more daily

[19:56] Lived an average two years longer than non-readers even after adjusting for variables like age gender education and health You know, I brought this subject up to a number of gringo and expats sitting around in little coffee collection And of course most of them these days don't read books Though they'll say in their defense that they read newspapers magazines and articles online, etc, etc But interestingly enough that yale's study showed that life extending benefit of reading books was not Correlated to those who read newspapers or magazines or just stuff online Turns out reading books seems to offer something uniquely protective according to longevity specialists Who say when you sit down with a book it requires deeper concentration than just skimming articles on the internet

[20:43] You need more sustained focus more active engagement and a more relaxed environment A more sustained attention span than what you need to flip through short articles on your phone and what little concentration it takes to scan Condensed news blurbs another reason books may be so helpful in extending longevity is that immersing yourself in a character's life Broadens emotional awareness at least that's what the research suggests. But the question is how do you get into the habit? Well, here's what I do. I kill two birds with one stone I get on my treadmill for exactly one hour a day and I read a book while i'm power walking That way I get in at least one hour's worth of book reading a day Works out to about a book a week been doing that for about 30 years now

[21:29] Of course, there are some days. I don't hit the treadmill But I do it at least five days a week except when traveling or on vacation Oh and funny thing about books I used to think when I'd watch a podcast and I'd see a guy sitting in front of a giant bookcase I used to wonder did he or she read all those books? Well, guess what recently I was in a big department store and I saw in the home furnishing section Now remember we're talking about a big department store in a big mall in latin america Anyway in the home furnishing section They were selling fake books to put on your shelves A long stack of maybe seven or eight books the book ends that is Dead ringers were real books But were just cardboard boxes with the bindings and titles facing outward with mostly titles of the classics You know the rise and fall of the roman empire and stuff

[22:18] Hemingway twain dickens and man, I thought what a world if there is a god He needs to hit that reset button though I do know and the house I was growing up in my mom being a university professor had books everywhere and she read Every one of them and if way back when I was to say to my mother, you know in the future They're going to have fake cardboard book facades that you could put on your shelves to make you seem educated and intellectual Should have said don't be foolish who would ever stoop so low? Well, in fact, I know who would stoop so low lard ass politicians For example ever notice when they do a podcast or a speech out of the comforts of their own home They're always sitting in front of a wall or shelf stacked with books Do you really think any of those lying lard ass pieces of shit ever read any of those?

[23:06] All right. Let's talk about some more things. You don't find out unless you're living down here for a while Wouldn't you like to know which latin american countries have the worst power grids the most frequent power outages and brownouts? Well according to seaman's, you know the big tech company They make all that big time medical and factory equipment sie mens They sell their stuff worldwide and have data on every country's power infrastructure They have to know it because power interruptions and brownouts damage electronic equipment. Anyway, according to seaman's The latin american countries with the worst electric grid infrastructures. Number one is obvious venezuela number two Also, obvious. Haiti number three honduras number four Nicaragua number five brazil with all five of those countries having between the 25 and 35 percent

[23:56] distribution loss in their power lines That means for every thousand watts produced by a power generator only about 600 to 750 watts Makes it to the final destination where it gets utilized like your neighborhood your refrigerator your tv Whereas the rest of the latin american countries panama, dr. Costa rica, columbia, bolivia, Paraguay, guatemala, mexico There's only about a 10 percent Electrical transmission lost from where the power is generated in the plant to the final destination like your home Now the latin american country with the best most solid electrical grid is chile The reason being the country's massive energy intensive mining industry Which demands a super solid grid and therefore it gets lots of investment from transnationals who have a large stake in the mining business

[24:44] So the lesson here is those five latin american countries with the worst electrical grid brazil, nicaragua, honduras, venezuela, haiti 25 to 35 percent of all the electricity their plants produce is lost just wastes away In any event if you've got any land or roof space at all It doesn't matter where you live You should try to go solar and get the hell off the grid or at least partially off the grid Then guess what you won't have to give a damn about any of this stuff Speaking of nicaragua country. We don't speak much of it all because I don't recommend living there Anyway, the latest news out of that country and I don't think most first world people have ever heard This is that daniel ortega the president says there will be no more elections for nicaragua No more does that sound like a good plan b destination a place where the president said there will be no more elections

[25:33] Anyway, this happened last month when daniel ortega announced he's eliminating the possibility of an electoral challenge When his term ends next year He says there will be no more elections and him and his wife will continue to rule the country By the way, he's held power since 2007 and was president for a term in the 80s, too Anyway, he was quoted last month in the press saying quote. There will be no more elections here For them to try to seize government and seize power He said that in a speech last month in a speech commemorating the 1979 Sandinista revolution in which he helped overthrow the u.s. Back Anastasio samosa dictatorship in that speech He was also quoted as saying and i'll translate here the days when parties backed by the yankees the us and the Samosistas will return to power are over never again. He said by the way, he's 80 years old

[26:24] Oh, and there's one more point of interest before we close out today You know of the 150 or so countries that are in debt to the imf You know the international monetary fund, you know the biggest banksters in the world You might be interested to know who the top five biggest debtors are the countries with the largest outstanding loans owed to the imf Here's the top five and it will surprise you The number one debtor to the imf is argentina at 42 and a half billion dollars number two You'll never guess but it makes sense ukraine Number three. Well, nobody cares. It's neither here or there, but it's pakistan Number four a huge surprise. It's tiny Ecuador and you wonder well, I certainly did how could that be?

[27:11] Ecuador, you know a little ecuador rated the number one retirement destination for gringos and expats I don't know how many years running they're so heavily in debt They're absolutely owned by the international banksters, which made them easy pickings for the chinese government who they're super indebted to as well Hmm so does ecuador still sound like a good plan b destination to you You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america If you need some help with your own plan b we can schedule a one-on-one phone or skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week long expat insider seminar in central america Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan b Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com. No spamos