#1425 – The Expat Files: Navigating Risks, Customs, and Culture in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started First a little announcement upcoming Sunday show. I'm taking a vacation day I'm allowed to do that right that said on with the show. Here's an email from Scott He says Johnny longtime listener got a crazy timeshare story for you

[00:48] My brother just bought a year at a friend's timeshare in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico He invited me in my wife town Wouldn't you know it as soon as we got there the management the administration whatever offered us a free buffet breakfast and massage if we'd Just listened to their timeshare pitch for 90 minutes or so. We thought why not? We've got nothing else to do we're on vacation Well, Johnny needless to say it turned into a very high-pressure sales pitch Where they wanted all our information emails phone numbers addresses up in the States even social media stuff Forcing us to log in and sign up on their website. We had to create an account with them They wanted all our debts and stats before getting that free buffet and massage

[01:34] then about 20 minutes into the spiel a guy given the lecture passed a sign to another guy who they said was the manager he Continued with the high-pressure pitch and sales dropping the price from 50k to 40k Then down to 30k such a deal Finally, he said what's your price? What will it take for you to sign and a guy in the room and there must have been 15 or 20 of us there. He said 15 grand then my wife whispered in my ear. This must be a scam They dropped the price from 50 grand to 15 in just a half an hour, but we sat through it Nevertheless, we had nothing else to do we did get that free buffet breakfast and the complimentary massage

[02:21] but here's the kicker Johnny about 10 minutes after that guy said 15 grand a Guy who we thought was just like us a spectator getting the spiel to get a free breakfast and massage out of it So we thought I wandered off for nature's call. I went to the bathroom I was the only guy in there went into the stall and a few minutes later. I heard the door open Two guys were talking and one guy said why didn't just say 18 grand instead of dropping straight down to 15 That was the proof that it really was a scam. They had a plant in the audience a Ringer moral the story never under any circumstances sign up for a timeshare. What a scam All right. Thanks for that Scott. Yeah, I know about timeshares. I've been a few of those presentations myself

[03:12] But come on a free buffet breakfast and a massage they used to give away better things than that I remember getting a free weekend. Yeah, they must be hurting All right, by the way speaking of Mexico and more reasons why I don't recommend it at all for a plan B Matter of fact, if you recall on last week's show We were discussing that since there's over a million and a half gringos and expats going back and forth to Mexico all the time A lot of them who own those dreaded timeshares and apartments and retirement homes what that means of course is the majority of gringos and expats living in Mexico are Retired in 60 and older and of course after retirement. It's downhill. We all become a little bit slower a little bit more decrepit Many of us ending up in geriatric care facilities big business in Mexico

[04:01] Lots of retirement homes are popping up with great facilities and very cheap too a great deal Financially for gringos and expats who don't want to pay four or five or ten times the price up in the states Except for the fact that Mexico is a failed state a corrupt narco state In fact, I was just listening to an interview an American colonel Doug McGregor was talking on YouTube After having just come back from a tour of Mexico Initially, he said something very shocking. He said a third of all the armaments going to Ukraine Armaments the US paid for are ending up in the hands of the Mexican cartels. Yep The Ukrainians turn around and sell a third of the weapons they received from the US on the black market

[04:47] In fact, this is what Colonel Douglas McGregor just said in an interview about that situation He said and now I'll read some of the transcript He says I was down in Mexico just last month and I talked to several people They were border patrolmen and some were Texas Guard people and Texas Rangers They told me he said that you just have to go 100 yards on the other side into Mexico Over a ridge and you'll see groups of people cartels with all kinds of advanced weapons including RPGs and Javelin missile systems that they bought He said that's why we should be much more worried about Mexico than Russia or Iran Get this he said Mexico is a cesspool of barbarian

[05:34] Savagery and criminality not Russia not China not Iran He says we can manage those things, but we can't manage Mexico and the cartels he says you must understand that the cartels run everything I mean everything and Mexican politicians. They only control certain parts of Mexico City Meanwhile the rest of Mexico the other 99% if you want to know the truth is a virtual crime state He says Americans don't get the whole picture, but everyone in Mexico knows the truth. They understand completely They're living in an Arco State. He said my oldest son just went down there He speaks very fluent Spanish and he was talking to all kinds of people He said he loves Mexico and Mexicans are nice, but they'll tell you flat out. Don't go to this place

[06:20] Don't go to that place. Don't go here. Don't go there don't ride in that particular kind of cab don't go to that particular airport or This or that neighborhood everyone there knows the truth Everyone knows who controls what and how to avoid trouble He says the locals know which cartel control which parts of which towns and cities and which parts you should never even Accidentally cross into so you've got the cartels controlling everything and the civilian people the regular Mexicans Work for them too. It's like the US government and US embassies They've got contract employees civilians for every US government employee. There's at least one civilian contractor That's how it works with cartels as well. In fact, the cartels even take care of their civilian health care needs

[07:11] Hospitals doctors clinics dental etc. He says if a civilian joins a cartel as an auxiliary a helper You get free benefits just as if you were working a regular job It's bizarre. He says but it's real and you wouldn't believe the catch of weapons going down there It's serious. He says he says the Ukraine government is just one big corrupt industry and the longer we feed it weapons and cash The worst it's gonna get the thing is though with Trump's huge crackdown on the border There's been a very noticeable decline in coyote activity So for the cartels that kind of income is way down Which means the cartels and the coyotes are just gonna switch to other ways of making money now Who do you think they're gonna target?

[07:57] the easy marks the rich complacent gringos living and playing down there in Mexico all those gringo eyes neighborhoods Older gringos who can't defend themselves and are prohibited from carrying guns Gringos living in Mexico with wealthy family and friends living up in the States Just think of all those vulnerable gringos living in nursing homes and its extended care facility By the way, some people I know brought up this particular scenario and I mentioned this before maybe not The cartels in Mexico know Gringo nursing homes and extended care facilities are popping up everywhere Containing of course very vulnerable people One day a bunch of cartel members show up in a big black SUV They get out walk into the administration office ask politely for the contact numbers of the resident families living up in the United States

[08:49] And then come the extortion call, you know how that works, right? It's happening already with young college age gringos and expats coming down for spring break Why wouldn't the cartels take advantage of that? When idiot young gringos and gringos come down for spring break and post their every move on social media Hotels and resorts where they're staying where they're hanging out at the beach where they party It's all up there on fake book tick-tock and what's up? Anyway, if you want to see that full interview I reference there with Colonel Douglas McGregor Just shoot me an email the expert files at gmail.com and I'll send you the link By the way, speaking of crime in Latin American places. I would never consider it for a plan B myself

[09:36] It's not widely known nor disseminated with the news services up in the states But in Peru right now a place I don't talk about much because I don't much recommend it Did you know that the president there has put the country under the state of martial law a? State of emergency in fact the president's ordered the deployment of soldiers to the streets To help the police address a recent surge of violence and murders So here's how it's going down in Peru last Monday the president said the state of emergency martial law will last 30 days The authorities will restrict some human rights including the freedom of assembly and movement Meaning that the police and the army have the right to detain people without a judicial order again this decree follows weeks of escalating violence blamed on criminal groups that target businessmen including transport companies and

[10:29] Get this wealthy neighborhoods for example. It says in Lima, Peru alone police reported 459 killings from January 1st through March 16th as well as 1909 business extortion reports in January alone and it's claimed that only about 10% of people will report Extortion attempts to the police so Peru has now joined Ecuador's state of emergency Like the president of Ecuador has just done they too have declared martial law You probably didn't know that about Ecuador most people don't Ecuador is also undergoing a huge crime wave The big cities have been under the state of martial law for some months now So besides Venezuela Cuba and Nicaragua you can add Mexico Ecuador and Peru

[11:20] To the list of countries to stay away from but still people won't they just have to check these things out for themselves But hey, we all make mistakes. I've done a lot of stupid things myself Alright, here's a question from Lewis P from Naperville, Illinois He says Johnny when going through customs and border crossings Do they have the right to look at your phone or go into your computer if they want to look and you just tell them? No Can they demand your password? Good question Lewis. Here's how it stands. I'm at the US customs website right now It says any traveler entering the US is subject to customs and border patrol inspection. Well, we knew that but what about devices? Well, according to their website There are strict policies and directives when it comes to searching electronic media and devices

[12:11] Accordingly US officers can check your devices to ensure the claims you're making about yourself and your visa status are true According to the customs and border patrol website There are two kinds of searches basic in advance that agents may undertake a basic search is manually going through the content of your devices Such as your photos and videos including things you think are deleted But really aren't because often when you delete things, they're not really gone Now if they decide to do an advanced search, they'll use external equipment to review copy Analyze the content of your phone and download everything you've got On the website. It says during any of these searches your device typically in the airplane mode or offline So the officer can go through what's on the hard drive or operating system

[13:00] Normally, it says the officer will not be able to go through your work email or what's stored in the cloud However, if your social media profiles are public They can and will look at all that too Turns out the Fourth Amendment protects against unreasonable search and seizure But the line gets blurred within a hundred miles of the international border So at any point of entry in the US all searches are considered a reasonable search So no warrant is required long story short you have your rights, but really you don't have any at all Here's the thing though if you agree to be searched officers can go through all your personal items and luggage if you're a US citizen And disagree with being searched. They're still obligated to let you into the country

[13:48] However, they may hold on to your devices In other words, the more you resist the more they're gonna go with you So bottom line be very mindful of what you have on your phone If you delete anything, it's probably still on your device So use apps where the delete is permanent like for example signal. Where have we heard that before? Another good rule when you travel bring as few devices as possible with you In other words leave that laptop at home if you can which brings us to this related email from Michael. He says Johnny I'm wondering about the x-ray baggage scanners at International airports like Aurora International Airport in Guatemala City. Do they really work?

[14:34] Just wondering if I'll get scanned or flagged because I'm bringing about eight hundred dollars worth of handcrafted items through to the United States He says I've been listening to your show for many years now I can't recall if you ever covered that topic before any insight would be greatly appreciated signed Michael. Well, mr. M. Thanks for that. The thing is all international airports have the same scanning equipment and they're taught to use it pretty uniformly on the software and the algorithms Automatically pick up certain things that the human eye can you've probably seen some of those scans and all the different colors that show up as Your suitcase is passing through each color means something to the scanner as for me I'm probably in the top ten percent of world traveling and I'd say I've only been stopped for a personalized hand check Maybe three or four times in my entire life

[15:22] I mean where the inspector pulls you off the line and you have to go somewhere and unpack the stuff for him Many times I thought I'd be pull aside But I never was because I had stuff not illegal stuff worth a hell of a lot more than you claim on the customs form You know how it says on those forms. Are you carrying more than two or three hundred dollars worth of X or Y or Z? Well, a lot of people are and they don't check the box. That's me Now as it turns out those three or four times I was pulled out of the scanning line It was because I had a certain object or artifact They'd never seen before like some handmade sculpted piece of metal or something odd metal objects are red flags You can do a lot of damage on an airplane with a piece of metal So anyway in over 30 years, I've probably only been pulled aside three or four times during that x-ray scanning process

[16:13] Though I've had my luggage Searched again at an airport by hand many times after I've already gone through the scan and everything's okay In other words, you go over to check into your airport gate and there's a table set up there and there's a customs and immigration guy Or gal going through every bit of luggage once again before you enter the airplane Which seems weird because just ten minutes earlier you went through the thorough scan took the shoes off and all that other shit, right? In fact recently on a trip to Europe I went through a scanner had my luggage searched at the gate had it searched again when I landed now The thing is it's a random process Most times when they've got that secondary or tertiary set up They're just picking and choosing maybe one out of five or ten people for a second personal violation

[17:02] In fact get this I remember just recently I was on a trip to Europe You know how you've been sitting around at the gate for a while and they finally call your section to board Well, they scan your ticket and you walk into that tunnel and sometimes you're backed up in there as people board the plane Right. There was a big log jam in the tunnel And some airport cops came trudging through with some sniffer dogs and the dogs went around sniffing people sniffing luggage I thought this is really weird. They scan you on the way in they frisk you you get to your gate They open your luggage again They call your section the board and then only then when you're stuck in that sweaty hot tunnel Security decides to come through with dogs man. I don't get it, but I do get that airports suck

[17:48] all the joy was sucked out of airline travel a long time ago and where did it all start a Quarter of a century ago in 9-11. So bottom line Mike when you're at the airport getting scanned I think it's gonna be hit and miss but I can tell you this concerning the Guatemala Airport the customs officials there Are pretty lenient and used to seeing people Loaded down with handcrafted artifacts because you see this little town called Santiago on Lake Atena a town of maybe 20,000 people mostly indigenous artisans. They make all kinds of handcrafted stuff They were leather wood metal glass and people pass through just for that reason to buy handcrafted artifacts And they take them home to the States or Europe Canada, whatever sometimes with suitcases loaded with that stuff

[18:35] in fact a gringle friend of mine who happens to be a Evangelical pastor a high school buddy of mine from up in the States. He came down for a visit I'd say three four years ago. He was looking for religious themed handcrafted stuff And I took him to Santiago on Lake Atena He ended up buying a whole bunch of stuff Handcrafted little statues and candle holders and Jesus on the cross all that stuff In fact that wooden Jesus on the cross thing was three feet long and guess what custom didn't mess with him at all In fact, he said he brought the Jesus on the cross thing on the plane as a carry-on because he was afraid it would get Damaged if stowed with the regular luggage now remember I said he was a pastor So he didn't have a Roman collar or anything like that. He looked like a regular civilian So he got no special favors from the customs people, but just goes to show you how lenient they can be

[19:27] Oh, and by the way, Michael, here's another tidbit information for you Another gringle friend of mine who has been living on and off in Guatemala has a little coffee plantation He's an expat insider seminar repeat offender He's been back and forth many times Turns out he owns a couple of mini markets up in the states that have little lunch counters Sell coffee and hot dogs and stuff like that, you know basic lunch counter in a mini mark What he's been doing for the last couple of years is every month or so He flies back and forth to Guatemala and takes I think 50 pounds of his own boutique coffee in one pound sacks I believe he takes 50 pounds or slightly less because that's the weight limit on stowed luggage, right? I could be wrong

[20:13] But I know for some years now he's been bringing coffee back and forth I think every month enough to stock his mini markets with Guatemala boutique coffee, which is very cool But the point is I don't think customs has stopped him even once although it seems to be a commercial undertaking if you're into Technicalities anyway, as far as I know no one's ever messed with him I know he keeps doing it, but he's never let on that. He's been hassled at all I could be wrong, but if he had I'm sure I would have heard about it Anyway, just look at it as a point in your favor Seems leniency prevails. All right now an email from sly Sylvester. He says hey Johnny What's the car club scene like down in Latin America or Central America? I have a 1979 Corvette and go to vet club rallies all the time

[21:02] I've noticed there are two kinds of people you meet at those car clubs You have people who bought their ride and didn't do anything at all of themselves They just bought it tricked out cherry as they say they tend to know nothing and are just in it to look cool They can't even answer simple questions about their own ride, but the ride sure looks nice Then there's a second kind of person the ones that build their own ride from scratch from the ground up like me They are extremely knowledgeable and interesting to talk to So my best memories as a teenagers were hanging out with guys like that bunch of country boys with old pickup trucks Hanging in a garage on weekend just puttering away with old rusty tools having a good old time throwing back a few beers

[21:47] So Johnny, do they have car clubs in Latin America? And what are they like? Well Sly thanks for that Though I wouldn't advise having a classic car down here. You don't want to drive it around The roads are just too shitty. I mean if you want to park it in your driveway and wash it and wax it on Sunday That's okay But I wouldn't recommend having a pristine vet or roadrunner or GTO If you're the perfectionist type like a lot of guys who are in car clubs up in the states You're just asking for a case of hemorrhoids, but it's true There are lots of car clubs here in Latin America. Generally the car club scene in Latin America is kind of crazy, too You know how people up in the states like to restore old classic cars to their original condition Stock is best and most valuable. Well, you know, that's not at all the rule down here you go to a vet club

[22:36] For example, you can hardly find anything that stock it's all been modified sometimes ugly horrific crazy-ass modified Like only Latin Americans seem to be able to do for example down here. They've got Honda Civic car clubs You can imagine what the owners of those cars are like They're the low-class street takeover crowd with souped-up ten-year-old Honda Civics Pathetic spoilers and mega speakers in the truck. I've seen their weekend rallies and competitions just full of gold chain sporting Degenerates most of them drunk by noon bunch of retards not worth hanging with Nobody there with a high enough IQ to know how foolish they really look There are tons of low-end car clubs like that. Then there's the high-class like for example Porsche Cayenne

[23:22] BMW Mercedes and Lexus car club Who I wouldn't want to hang out with either because they're more often pompous douchebags just putting on the dog That's not to say I haven't met a lot of assholes in US car clubs, too I used to have a Mercedes Benz 230 SL 1965 with 10,000 miles on it man It was Jerry and yep when I first restored it I went to a couple of Mercedes-Benz Sports car club events met lots of wealthy stuck-up pretenders who couldn't change a flat tire of their life depended on it So am I being too critical to mean maybe oh and speaking of motor vehicle clubs here in Latin America You know when I was doing pure radio shows and had regular sponsors and such Harley was one of my sponsors. So I was obliged to be on hand that all their sponsorship events and rallies

[24:13] Funny thing too. There were two kinds of Harley clubs You had the Harley Club composed of American expat types a lot of them ex-military, you know real scuffed up leather jackets and such Bikes all trick down custom and always at the rallies. You'd see the pretentious rich guy With beautiful mostly new stock Harley guys in really clean nice leathers way too clean way too shiny Who wouldn't know how to change a spark plug? So you'd see both kinds at rallies real American Harley types Who kind of just like me would laugh and snicker at the rich guys or pompous guys with Harley's whose daddy's had money Not that they weren't nice guys. It's just that it was obviously it was just a gringo wannabe thing They had the money to be weekend warriors and didn't even wash polish or wax their own bikes

[25:00] They had their maintenance guy do that sort of unheard of in the real Harley work Oh, and by the way, since there are not a lot of Harley drivers here in Latin America at all The clubs would stretch their membership rules and allow Ducati's and Indians BMW is another larger high-end bike You'd see those riders had to get togethers and rallies as well Now that's something sort of unheard of in Harley clubs up in the States They're pretty exclusive either in a Harley Club or an Indian Club or a Ducati Club, etc At least that's how I remember it when I live back in the States could be different now. Anyway It's not something I'd recommend that is driving a motorcycle in Latin America It's probably one of the most dangerous things you could do So I guess it's okay if you're a risk taker depends on how you handle your road rage and what triggers it

[25:48] Because one thing I know for sure almost every American male that is Has a degree of road race though. You may be a perfectly sane driver up in the States and in denial about having road rage I invite you to come down to Latin America rent a car and drive around for a while then we'll talk Oh and since we're on the subject of driving road rage car clubs Just another little observation about living in Latin America Tesla cars are starting to pop up You see him almost every day and down here they're considered a huge mark of distinction in Latin America No one I mean no one would damage a Tesla on purpose locals look at Tesla owners in awe And it's pretty much a fact that there are no Elon Musk haters here in Latin America In fact, Teslas are so revered people Latin Americans that is would give their right wave

[26:35] Oh just to sit in a passenger seat of a Tesla Yet another reason to get your plan be going and come down here to Latin America By the way, I've seen hundreds of Tesla cars, but I've only seen one Cybertruck and what did you know it there were a bunch of little kids following it around like the Pied Piper They were just in awe they were loving it now as for me. I personally wouldn't want a Cybertruck I think they're dead ugly, but a Tesla SUV if it had decent road clearance minimum eight inches So you could avoid bottoming out on those two mollows or if you hit a big pothole But unfortunately except for the Cybertruck the clearances on the new Tesla cars are like five to six inches Not enough. Come on Elon. What are you waiting for? Now there was a test of Model Y that came out a few years ago. That was really cool

[27:23] It had adjustable hydraulic road clearance up to eight and a half inches. But unfortunately, they don't offer that option anymore. Come on Elon What are you waiting for? You've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America If you need some help with your own plan B We can schedule a one-on-one phone or Skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week long expat insider seminar in Central America Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan B Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com. No spammos