#1413 – Episode 1413: Hygiene, Earthquakes, Illegal Construction, and Life in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you ex-pad wannabes I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to The Exped Files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started I hope you're not eating breakfast lunch or dinner right now cuz this might upset your stomach But hey, this is The Exped Files living in Latin America the good the bad the ugly and the great, right? Well, here's some ugly for you

[00:45] Just yesterday. I went into a local pharmacy Had to wait my turn in line and there was a little group of seats where you sit and wait people especially with insurance You know, they have to process that stuff takes a couple of minutes probably ten minutes or so So you wait or you walk around and browse? Well, I waited in one of the chairs and the chairs were facing outside through a big-picture window So you could just sit look out that window and people watch You could also watch everyone coming in and out of the pharmacy because the door was right there, too Well, I was watching people come and go in and out of the pharmacy I watched a nice car pull up a relatively new Audi SUV Yeah, and a guy got out 50 something guy dressed nicely Latino businessman of some sort and when he got out of his car and slammed the door he sneezed

[01:35] He took a few steps forward walking toward the door He stopped and did one of the grossest things that people in the States just don't do Well, maybe ghetto dwellers and white trash guys will do it But tell you the truth and all the time I lived up in the States I don't think I ever witnessed anybody do it firsthand Except maybe Joe the bomb our local street vagabond Well, anyway, the guy blocked one of his nostrils with a finger and blew his snot right out on the pavement Of course, he tried to be stealthy about it. He thought no one was looking Little did he know and of course some of it ended up on his upper lip and elsewhere So he wiped that off with his hand rub those remnants off on his pants and walked up to the pharmacy

[02:21] Entrance door then grabbed the handle with that snot contaminated hand pulled the door open walked in and sat right next to me By the way, that's why when I meet or greet a Latino I almost always fist bump instead of handshake now I was pretty sure I was the only person that saw him do that because you gotta figure a really gross move like that Is something you make sure no one else can see Wrong and unfortunately things like that often stick with you forever Great first impression, huh? So anyway, he sat down next to me and I did not even give him the courtesy of a dirty Look, he didn't deserve it. But here's what I was thinking I was thinking back to when he opened the door he put that snot drenched hand On the handle didn't pull like everyone else does to get in. That's why ever since I came down to Latin America

[03:10] Who knows how many decades ago when I open any door in a public place? I always and I mean always look for the part of the handle That's the least well traveled if you know what I mean If there is a big long bar like handle on the door and there often is I grab at the very top or the very Bottom of the handle because you know people almost never grab the handle at the extremes They grab it right in the middle You can usually tell by the wear and tear at the middle of any handle and the obvious lack of it at the extremes Anyway, I did tell you this could ruin a few appetites. Didn't I? Now before you start thinking I'm being quite anal about all this. Well, the fact is not only am I not the only one I Discovered just the other day Some of the major door lock and door handle companies are becoming quite concerned about the buildup in an unhygienic

[04:01] scum on their handles and pulls I'm sure you've heard of Kwikset locks and hinges, etc. Kwikset K-W-I-K-S-E-T It's the number one residential lock and door handle company in the first world Well, guess what? The other day I was going through Amazon looking to order a couple of lock sets Of course Kwikset popped up right away Then a pop-up window came and said now Kwikset locks all include microband product protection finishes I thought what the hell's that? Microban it says and I'm reading from their website microban works continuously to keep door handles cleaner Fighting against bacteria that would normally double in number every 20 minutes on your doorknob Hmm. Well, that's a pretty revolting statistic

[04:47] It says the finish will last throughout the product's lifetime Vendors a quote by the Kwikset senior product manager It says quote we're excited Kwikset products with microban are now available to builders and architects for current and future projects at no extra cost Saying that with each and every touch and interaction throughout the day Our products can be exposed to bacteria which doubles in number every 20 minutes. There's that revolting statistic again It goes on to say our safety knobs and hardware Anti-microbial protection stops the microbes before they get into your house. It stops them at the door Yeah, but it doesn't stop the human who just wiped his snot from his nose to his hand to his pants Anyway, as you can see hygienic building products are becoming a thing not just for guys like me

[05:38] Who some people might say are anal now some might say this is just marketing good marketing and who really knows if it works? Who's testing on top of that? How can they claim it'll last a lifetime or the life of the product? So certain products are equipped with anti microbial coating. How can that not be a good thing? Even if it doesn't work forever, man I could think of a hundred places where a coating like that could come in handy like your telephone water faucets toilet flush handle What about all the grimy surfaces you touch at the gym and all the surfaces in your car? Handles steering wheel glove box parking brake and how about every one of those redundant remotes? She got stuck between the sofa cushions at your house. Does anyone ever wipe down that stuff with an alcohol wipe II or whatever?

[06:27] Well, I've got my cleaning lady doing it every week. Yeah, sure. She thinks I'm nuts. But hey, I'm the boss Alright moving on, you know sooner or later the subject of earthquakes Always ends up in a conversation when you got a bunch of gringos around Especially when you've had a few little shakers or temblors those small shakers come all the time They're maybe two two and a half on the Richter scale. They're often so small and imperceptible Somebody might say to you like the cleaning lady the guy next door or the shoeshine boy You feel that little earthquake last night and you'll say, huh what earthquake? But sometimes at night when you're in bed and everything's still and the chickens and chicken buses are dead silent You notice just a little bit of a wiggle and sometimes you'll notice a string on a lamp or a fixture

[07:19] Moveings ever so slightly back and forth and sometimes a window in its frame might vibrate ever so gently That's what you get when you live down here in Latin America. Those things can happen at any time You get used to it now The big ones are a little bit different those you don't get used to now The reason why I'm bringing up the earthquake subject once again is that there's a certain expat group site on the signal app that I pay attention to and I Just caught this message yesterday from mr Ak and he says I asked around a little about house construction in Guatemala with some of the more informed locals The common theme was that the majority of houses won't survive a big earthquake Even the big edificios. Those are big buildings seemingly are not built earthquake resilient as they should be much less

[08:10] the small buildings of the poorer locals He goes on to say the consensus with the local seems to be that if there is an earthquake That's an eight on the Richter's Tale everything's kaput So after reading that I had to put my two cents in because I've been through many many tiny earthquakes the small ones You barely even notice probably hundreds of them In fact, that was once at one of the Guatemalan universities where they have a seismograph and I sat there and watched it a while Maybe 10-15 minutes and in that time the dial moved 11 different times Within 15 minutes. There were 11 tiny earthquakes So small though only the seismograph could measure them So the truth is they're happening all the time But of course what gringles and expats even the general population is worried about is what happens when a big one comes is your

[09:01] Building gonna fall with you in it Well, here's something that may or may not ease your mind since the Spanish started recording earthquakes in Central America known as Guatemala back Then it encompassed Honduras Belize Salvador Nicaragua practically off Central America a few hundred years back all of that was called Guatemala Anyway since 1717 when the Spanish conquistadores first started writing this kind of stuff down There have been maybe 30 big earthquakes over 6.0 There have been a lot of sevens, but never an 8 never so in the 300 years or so They've been recording these things. They've never had an 8. So why would anybody be concerned about an 8 an 8 would level a lot

[09:47] But in recorded Western history, there has never been one not in Central America Yep, a couple of times in South America, but never in Central America In fact someone in the chat mentioned they had a contractor build a house in Guatemala And he guaranteed it would withstand at earthquake of 9.0 on the Richter scale Looking at a list right now. I'm seeing there are only two earthquakes that were 8.0 or better in any of Latin America one happened in 2010 in Chile And what happened in 1906 in Colombia, of course There've been a few 8 pointers in the rest of the world, but only two in Latin America that were ever recorded Now the thing is here in Latin America if some contractor gives you a guarantee or a carpenter or a plumber

[10:33] It's not like getting a written guarantee from someone up in the States Let's say a guy puts down a waterproof barrier on your roof And he says it's gonna be guaranteed for five years and it leaks in three It's doubtful you'll be able to get the guy back to fix it for nothing He might come back and fix it, but it's probably gonna cost you Even in the States sometimes guarantees aren't worth the paper. They're written on I remember I built a house up in the States and I had the garage floor poured six inches thick instead of four The contractor said he could guarantee it would never crack then if I agreed to the extra expense Two years later it cracked a little hairline crack But still it's cracked. Did I call him back now? What's he gonna do bust it up and repour it for a hairline crack?

[11:22] Uh-uh, so his guarantee was just talk now if you're worried about earthquakes in a place like Guatemala Let's take the last 30 years just about the amount of time I've been down here in that time that 30 years there were eight earthquakes That were more than five points on the Richter scale. That means if you were here when they happen, you'd feel them Here's the list starting in 1995. There was a 5.3 in 1995 one person died in 1998 there was a 6.6 earthquake. No one died in 2011 there were it's a 5.6 er One person died in 2012. I remember that one. I was in it and that was no fun was a 7.4 139 people died

[12:08] Sounds terrible, but here's what happened. There was a huge landslide Development that had no permits There was a bunch of poor people who built shacks out of wooden tin on the side of a mountain Actually more like a steep hill all built illegally on government land The government didn't do anything about it because you know, the people just were squatters. They moved in they'd been living there for years The earthquake caused the landslide and the whole side of that hill caved in 139 dead with get this no news of any concrete buildings Collapsing I repeat no damage to legit concrete buildings in 2013. Guatemala had a 6.7 earthquake one person died. I remember that one too Was sitting in my house two stories multi-level

[12:54] The windows shook the dogs hid in their cages Whole thing lasted maybe 30 seconds or more. That was a big one that 30 seconds a man. It felt like an hour Final damage not a single hairline crack in the walls 2014 a 6.9 earthquake 5 dead 2017 a 6.9 earthquake 5 dead in 2022 a 6.2 earthquake in Guatemala 3 dead but get this in the last 30 years and all those deaths mentioned All of those people lived in squatter housing housing that wasn't sanctioned People who just picked a precarious spot because they knew no one would stop them and just started building No way would they ever be issued a building permit and they knew it so they never bothered

[13:43] Same thing with volcanoes. No one in this right mind would build on the side of an active volcano I'm talking about a volcano that had a history of blowing off in the last hundred or two hundred years But people in Latin America do it all the time. They do it all the time in Guatemala. That's for sure In fact, there's a very active volcano called Volcan de Fuego. That's Volcano of fire in English. It's about 10 miles west of Antigua Guatemala. I used to live there myself It's a real hot spot for gringos and expats. I'm not talking about the volcano No, I'm talking about Antigua Guatemala. Very nice place Anyway, Volcan Fuego is famous for being almost constantly active at a low level You can see and hear small explosions of gas and ash About every 15 to 20 minutes and at night you can sometimes see a red glow at the summit

[14:33] If it's a clear night and you're an Antigua Guatemala, you can see the glowing tip now It's mostly always active at a low level except in the last couple of years. It has blown Never enough to damage Antigua, which is 10 miles away But sometimes leaves a tiny layer of dust on the roads and buildings and windshields it rains volcanic ash That only happened two or three times though in the last 30 years But even in recent years like in 2015 and 2017 they had to evacuate up to 500 families Not in Antigua But because squatters keep setting up shop right on the side of that volcano Like I said, it's government land So no one will come and kick you off you just go there and squat build a tin shack or two and grow some crops

[15:19] I mean hell volcanic soil is the richest, right? Well, guess what every once in a while the lava flows right down the side of that thing and everyone has to evacuate that happened in 2015 2017 then in 2018 they couldn't get out fast enough and there were 159 deaths all Squatters living on the side of that volcano Even though they had a couple of days warning from international geologists and volcanologists who were studying the thing Then it blew big time then Volcan Fuego calms down for a couple of years That's the pattern and people come back. In fact, if you drive by it There's a big busy road within four to five miles of it You'll see little shacks have popped up everywhere. Once again, you'll see nice square patches where farmers have started growing crops

[16:06] Once again, too, some people never learn but when you're a squatter in the lands free The lesson here is you want to live at least 10 miles from an active volcano Remember Antigua Guatemala is 10 miles from Volcan Fuego the most active volcano in Guatemala And with all the eruptions there have been dozens and dozens over the past 200 years All it's ever suffered is a couple of light dustings of volcanic ash By the way when that stuff gets on your windshield, you don't want to activate your wipers That stuff's like very fine sand and it will scratch your windows Permanently, so just take a bucket of water or a hose and douse your windshield. It washes off instantly Again, don't hit the wipers or you'll be sorry All right. Now we have an email from Luis that slipped through the cracks and came through a couple of weeks ago

[16:55] He says Johnny I'm a Puerto Rican Latino And I'm not at all offended by people calling Puerto Rico or anywhere in Latin America a garbage dump What I do resent though is that Democrats calling us Latinx? What the f is Latinx? I will never vote Democrat again. What is Latinx? Why are the British people saying Latinx now? I see them doing it on newscast the BBC They're saying Latinx The term is utterly embarrassing only one in a million Brits has ever been to Latin America if they did visit they would see that no one Uses Latinx for anything For all they know it could be a Latino brand of Kleenex. You got the sniffles try Latinx

[17:45] By the way, Johnny people who are upset about politicians saying the trash joke about Puerto Rico such woke whiners Must not know many actual Hispanics if they only knew that us Latinos laugh at racist jokes Sometimes I think we invented them. We make them all the time about everybody's race. It's just a joke. Damn it Laughs are good anything for a laugh Racist jokes hit me with one. I'll laugh Sexist jokes about men or women or gays or straights hit me with one I'll laugh though I admit some poor Latinos living in the barrio aren't sophisticated enough to understand a Sexist joke or a religious joke or a joke on one of those

[18:32] LGBTQ guys a jokes a joke and by the way Johnny we do have a big trash problem in Latin America Has anyone ever been to Latin America from the US and not mentioned it? It's not just Puerto Rico There are big trash heaps on every street corner Except of course in the rich areas because they have their own private garbage pickup services Not the municipal deadbeat garbage melon heads working for the government Anyhow, Johnny loved the show someday. You'll have to visit Puerto Rico. My door is always open to you plus I've got an ocean view not a dumpster view signed Luis PS as a Puerto Rican myself Insulting one another is a hundred percent a way of life growing up

[19:18] We all came prepared for family gatherings with the best insults we could muster It's what we do insult each other for laughs If you're in Puerto Rico and you see a bunch of people laughing on a street corner ten to one someone just threw a zinger insult Good one Luis. I'll remember that. All right now speaking of getting that plan B going, you know, there are deal breakers A deal breaker is something you absolutely must have in your life, but is not available in the Latin country of your choice So before you come down, you should make a list of absolute must-haves or risk facing a deal breaker Now you've heard about in cuentral venti cuatro. That's ENC you NTRO 24 that's the Craigslist in Latin America. Now after you've made that absolutely must-have list

[20:06] Then go to in cuentral venti cuatro that Latin American Craigslist and you'll see that 98% of this stuff you really must have is available there And if it ain't Amazon will ship it at four bucks a pound, maybe more through your Miami courier I'm a great example of using Amazon. I've used this shit out of them You know, I built a couple of houses down here. So I needed some special things I couldn't find but all of it was there on Amazon. For example, I bought one of those special Standalone bathtubs. It was I don't know 800 bucks and wait a ton, but I got it through I bought a Korg 88 key piano through Amazon had it shipped down wait a ton But got it through I bought an air compressor a couple of flat screen TVs And you heard me tell about the one that didn't get through but that case was highly unusual

[20:54] I bought a couple of guitar of amplifiers offender rumble 800 watt bass amp It was 50 pounds around 200 bucks for shipping. I bought a wet saw for cutting tile that I couldn't get down here Special stainless steel doorknobs and hinges for a house. I had close to the ocean You know saltwater wreaks havoc on metal but not stainless steel Anyway, when you've made your must-have list when you come down to Latin American country of your choice Let's say it's Panama you come down on an exploratory trip or two to determine if that stuff's available You hit the hardware stores appliance stores variety stores Just keep your eyes open and most of the time when you visit Latin America You'll learn things are not like North America or Europe at all in many ways much better

[21:40] But Latin America is definitely different. That's why you're looking at that plan B, right? Now when talking about deal-breakers, we must talk about health care and medications If the medications you need are not available in your Latin American country and you can't ship them in for some reason Like for example CBD oil that would be a deal breaker But then again, most Americans I know who do move down to Latin America They end up telling me after a year or so that they've given up a lot of their meds They're on half or less than what they used to be on up north It's of course due to less stress better diet, etc, etc The other thing is if you love to shop at certain specialty stores, but they're not available in your Latin country That could be a deal breaker though mostly for gringas not gringos and if you've been really spoiled by companies like amazon and amazon prime

[22:30] If you love shopping online and getting your items delivered the next day, it's not going to happen in Latin America You can order from amazon get everything almost But it's going to take seven to fourteen days for you to get it in your Latin American town Because first they're going to send it to your miami courier Your miami courier is going to sort it out and dick around with it for a few days They'll ship it to your Latin American country. It'll go to the aduana in your Latin American country They'll dick around with it for two or three days Then finally you'll get an email that says it's ready Come on and pick it up or we'll deliver it to your house Which I don't recommend having them deliver it to your house You've heard me talk about that in previous shows You don't want people like delivery guys. No one where you live Sounds paranoid. I know but if you're a longtime listener, you know, i'm kind of a paranoid guy

[23:19] But we were talking about deal breakers One big deal breaker for some people Especially old guys and gals is the fact you'll be around a lot of spanish speakers And if you're living off the gringo tourist trail mostly spanish speaker almost exclusively spanish speak Now, of course if that bothers you or you don't think you'll ever fit in you can live in a community with lots of expats Where english is more widely spoken things are way more expensive But then again, look what all those english speakers did to costa rica Now the thing is you do not need to be fluent to live anywhere in latin america Sure, if you don't know spanish at all, it'll be tough at first But man, that's the best way to learn full immersion. It hurts for the first couple of weeks But after that something clicks in your head and suddenly you're understanding what the cleaning lady or gardener is talking about

[24:06] There can be more deal breakers if you have grandkids aging parents or grown children who depend on you Though some may be leeches and dead weight that you should have jettisoned a long time ago Some people don't have the heart to do that Now if your whole life revolves around your grandkids or kids That's a deal breaker and we were talking about health care before even though health care in most all of latin america is excellent If you're on a private plan, you need to evaluate your own situation before deciding to get that plan be going It's especially important to weigh it carefully if you have a serious chronic illness If you don't have good mobility or other handicap issues Unfortunately latin america is not handicap friendly the sidewalks where they exist Are usually not level and they've got big gaping holes in them, too

[24:54] And don't count on any handicap vans to pick you up and take you where you want to go if you're wheelchair bound And most businesses unless they're located in a fairly new mall Do not have handicapped access Which brings us to manana time and the way latinos lie about manana time What do I mean by manana time lies? Well, sometimes manana time is not tomorrow at all It's two days from now or a week from now or never Oh, and then there's this thing called a por supuesto or estimate I don't think i've ever gotten an estimate from a worker in the trades carpentry plumbing electrician A por supuesto an estimate that they ever held themselves to There's always an add-on always something else. They got to buy at the hardware store

[25:41] Always something they forgot to put into the estimate. I mean it won't kill you The labor will still be amazingly cheap But it's always going to run you more even if you're given a nice Handwritten even printed por supuesto estimate on bonded sealed paper with a dozen signatures on it Oh, and let me tell you about a small little scam that almost all the contractors will pull on you I don't care if it's a carpenter a plumber a glazer a cement worker They'll tell you before they start the job To give them some money up front to go to the hardware store to buy supplies. That's fine They got to buy wire and concrete plumbing tubes glue for the tubes called pegamento Anyway, they'll go to the hardware store buy the stuff they need Give you the receipt all as well. But remember it's all in spanish. Will you understand it? And I guarantee you this

[26:28] For example a plumber he'll buy some pegamento to glue the plumbing joints He'll buy about five times as much as you need. But how do you know how much he needs? He'll just buy a big can of it Now he's got a ton extra for the next job and you can bet your electrician will buy twice as much wire as he needs The rest will be for the next job. Are you getting this? It's a way of padding the bill without hitting you for more labor costs Now the smart thing to do would be at the end of the job. You keep all the stuff he bought But gringles and expats don't think of that and when he's gone the extra wire the tubes the valves for the shutoffs Extra bag of cement or two they're gone with the wind just like he is, you know, i've been down here a long long time I've seen that happen even so it still happens to me and in the end

[27:13] You know when the job is done Sometimes you just don't want to make an issue out of it and leave on bad terms So what if he walks off with five or ten bucks worth of extra supplies if the guy's done a pretty good job Sometimes it's just not worth bringing up. Meanwhile, I keep telling myself i'm not gonna let that happen again. I'll be smarter next time You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america If you need some help with your own plan b we can schedule a one-on-one phone or skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week-long expat insider seminar in central america Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan b Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com