#1364 – The Expat Files: Health, Sun Protection, and Cultural Insights in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you ex-pad wannabes I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started You know, we often talk about the health benefits moving down here to Latin America. A lot of them are immediate Like for example, you just start shopping at one of those big outdoor market. You'll be able to get locally produced food That's about as natural and unprocessed as you can get

[00:47] In fact, I was just talking about that very thing the other day with Captain Mango He was born into a farm family himself has a green thumb He used to get up at four in the morning every day feeding the snakes milking the chickens, you know Do the chores and fact he made a good point he said you know what they should have down here in Latin America since Everyone or at least everyone with a brain is looking to buy foods that are very natural and organic His point was you know Since it costs so much money to have a crop tested to be organic to be certified organic Captain Mango's right when he says there's got to be a better way Especially when there's so many crops down here from local tiny truck farmers that are nearly organic But they could never afford to go through the process to get them certified Apparently he says to get certified organic. You got to go five years without putting any artificial pesticides or herbicides on it

[01:39] That doesn't mean you can't put fertilizers and pesticides on the crop They just have to be natural non petroleum based like for example chicken poop Anyway down here in Latin America. You can buy produce that's certified organic You'll find organic mostly in the big box stores However, like Walmart and Costco otherwise known as price smart down here, which is good but they're also good and expensive after all they're being certified up in the states and shipped down here and They charge a little extra for the product because they had to go through the process of being certified organic All the tariffs and transportation costs are added into the price on top of that. For example down here in price smart They've got a certified organic Coconut oil called Carrington Farms comes from the states. It's about 20 bucks for 32 ounces

[02:30] Meanwhile, there's some local brands of coconut oil would choose from Obviously not certified organic because you got to go through that five-year process and it costs a lot of dough To have organic inspectors do the analysis every year to make sure they're in compliance So the local coconut oil might very well be organic or very very close to it But they can't get that certified organic seal of approval because they just didn't go through the expensive process a small outfit Just can't afford it. So anyway in price smart you've got the brand Carrington Farms certified organic coconut oil for around 20 bucks a quart That's 32 ounces and the local brand coconut oils also in a court presentation not stamped and sealed certified organic It just says on the label extra virgin cold pressed like the Carrington Farms organic stuff

[03:20] So the local brand stuff does not say organic But in reality it just might be here very nearly and the cost for a quarter that stuff around 12 to 14 bucks So then which would you choose a court for 20 bucks or 14 bucks? Anyway, what Captain Mango says goes a lot of the produce down here though not certified organic in the traditional expensive way Would still qualify but just didn't go through the testing which is why Captain Mango says he thinks there should be another kind of labeling How about a label that says we're not certified organic because we're too small an outfit to pay for the process But we're pretty damn close What do you think? How would you react to a label like that all-in-all it makes for a six dollar difference in the price of coconut oil

[04:07] Anyway, as mentioned when you come down here to Latin America, there are so many positive health effects including healthier food fresher air Fantastic views of the countryside rivers mountains volcanoes oceans wide open spaces which all in all means less stress Something else people don't talk about but is a reality down here people get out a lot more they walk around With the weather being perfect most of the time people get out They're not cloistered in the family room watching Netflix day and night like so many Americans I know including some of my own family members up north So it stands to reason that generally gringles and expats living down here in Latin America are less pasty looking thinner and have more Energy than their counterparts up in the states and as far as government bureaucracy and the rules and regs

[04:54] You got to follow down here in Latin America. You just don't have to worry about that stuff Unless you're an actual criminal the government's down here are virtually paper Tigers Once you're down here, you'll see overall. There's a lot fewer regulations and a lot less government interference in your personal life The fact is after a while you don't even notice it It's as if the government doesn't exist except for the odd lard ass Transit cop and the craziness that happens right before election time unless of course you choose to live in Cuba Nicaragua or Venezuela Not recommended, but you knew that array But as for the rest of Latin America the other 17 countries when you talk about the effectiveness of government It's more of a clown show a joke than anything matter of fact when you talk to the sweaty masses about politicians

[05:41] Fat lazy lard ass and thief are the most commonly used descriptive terms By the way besides the traffic there is one other thing that occasionally drives me nuts It never fails when I'm in a big Latin American city suddenly a big noisy caravan of black Tahoe soul speed by Stealing the right-of-way and blocking all traffic Naturally, that'd be some lard ass shit for brains self-proclaimed political VIP who else? Of course on a very important mission to see his mistress or have another feed at the trough But where were we? Oh, yeah talking about the health benefits of living in Latin America So I repeat there are many many health advantages to living here in Latin America, but you know, you can't have everything There are downsides to living in Latin America on the health care front

[06:29] Take for example the mention of the fact that most gringles and expats get out and about a lot more They walk a hell of a lot Take an advantage of that fresh air perfect climate, etc. Etc Unfortunately as good as that sounds it does have its risks Take for example in my case in the last five to seven years I've been to the dermatologist three times to have some pre-cancerous lesions burned off my skin Of course, they don't actually burn them off. They use a cryogenic device a super coolant a liquid nitrogen spray So it's risky going outside in the Sun if you have light skin, especially very light skin Now here's the irony if you choose to live on or near the coast or in low elevations

[07:15] It's gonna be hot most of the time 85 to 95 degrees in a day And when you're directly in the Sun, man, it hurts most gringles and expats I know cannot tolerate being in the Sun for more than a few minutes under those conditions and Sunscreen doesn't block the heat it plucks the rays, but it doesn't keep you cool I know I know getting daily sunlight is great for your vitamin D level though Getting sunburned in the process is a bit much to ask. I know you're thinking put on some SPF 50, right? Mission accomplished. Yeah. Well, you know a lot of us gringles and expats can't stand the greasy clammy sticky feeling of that stuff on our skin Oh, and of course suntan lotion any kind of lotion doesn't stop the heat from building up on your skin when the Sun is directly on It when it's 90 degrees in the Sun's beaten directly on you. It's always uncomfortable at least for me

[08:04] So if you're light skinned like me when you're out and about it's a battle to stay away from direct sunlight I'll take vitamin D supplements. Thank you very much. Now you might be like me in other ways I just don't like extremely hot weather. I Don't like ice snow and cold either. I mean, that's one of the reasons I got the hell out of Chicago Not the only reason by any means but part of the reason then of course when I first landed here in Latin America I was on the coast for five years, Costa Rica, Roatan, Honduras, Cartagena, Colombia All pretty much coastal low elevation places very hot nice at night perfect at night 70 to 80 degrees But 85 to 95 degrees practically every day So when out and about if you were not in your air-conditioned car

[08:51] You'd have to get used to the fact you always had a tiny little film of sweat on you And I didn't like that much either. It's just inevitable and why practically everyone had an air conditioner at least in their bedroom and Then miracle of miracles. I couldn't learn my Spanish So I went to Antigua, Guatemala where they have all kinds of Spanish schools Turns out Antigua, Guatemala happens to be smack dab in the middle of the Guatemalan Altiplano 5,000 to 6,000 feet above sea level about 15 to 20 degrees cooler than anywhere on the coast So at night just a little cool 55 to 65 degrees during the day about 70 to 80 degrees Absolutely springtime weather all year long Suddenly I realized I was in climate paradise

[09:37] Never really hot enough to work up a sweat even when you're out and about and never really cold enough to need an overcoat or jacket But therein lies the danger you don't feel the heat when you're in the Sun And if you don't feel the heat you could burn and not even know it Being up at a higher elevation the Sun is more penetrating the UV rays are more penetrating Thus everyone is more susceptible to skin damage Everyone especially us light-skinned guys and gals walk around in the Sun with a false sense of security And I'll tell you man I paid the price now I've never actually had skin cancer but like I said I had to go in three times and get some Suspicious-looking spots on my arms and neck treated with that cryogenic spray gun in fact

[10:23] It was beginning to be such a regular thing with me I thought man if this is gonna happen to me every year or so I'm gonna get my own little cryogenic spray gun now if you're thinking that would be foolish That would be stupid because I'm not a real MD Well, you know, I've got an electrical engineering and a Biomedical engineering degree so I do claim to know a little bit more about medicine and health than the average slug anyway, I Researched getting one of those little cryogenic guns myself. They're around 350 bucks not on Amazon But Alibaba, but I didn't pull the trigger because I discovered you have to have a tank of liquid nitrogen on hand and those things are big bulky and cost a lot of dough to refill and you do have to Keep refilling them even if you don't use them because they outgas So anyway, I actually did look into it because I was sick of going back to the dermatologist

[11:12] Because first you have to make an appointment you go in a waiting room sit around for an hour You know what you're in for she's just gonna check the spots in question Then you'll get an authorization slip for your insurance company. They'll authorize it you come back another day She zaps you with the liquid nitrogen Tells you to come back in a month to have a look at the spot So there's three appointments every time you get it done and I've had it done three times That's nine different appointments a bit ridiculous, huh? So I just thought hell I'll just spy the machine and zap myself That's why I looked into it But like I said a bit too complicated so I didn't pull a trigger now of course my health insurance pays for the dermatology appointments and the Zapping with the liquid nitrogen if I recall they paid 80 or 90 percent though

[11:59] It has got me thinking after the fact that I should stay the hell out of the Sun Which I have been doing for the past two three years So if when you come down here to Latin America, I suggest you do the same now, it's easy enough to use a hat But unless you've got a wide brimmed hat It doesn't cover the back of your neck or areas of your neck below your chin, etc Your hat would have to have an awful wide brim to cover all those areas Unless your Indiana Jones a wide brimmed hat like that is not a good look for the average guy I've tried it and people will stare. I don't much like that So in lieu of a hat what I've been doing lately at least in the past two or three years is using an umbrella I've got one with me every time I go outside

[12:45] Nope, not a full-sized long umbrella that you just might end up leaving in a restaurant Nope, I use one of those collapsible umbrellas In fact you long-time listeners might remember me talking about the best umbrella for Latin America and believe me I've gone through maybe 15 different umbrellas before I stumbled across the one I'm using now and forever after The kung fu Smith umbrella you can get it on Amazon the name again kung fu Smith Great umbrella crazy name. It's a heavy-duty collapsible umbrella. That's virtually indestructible even in high winds I've got a bunch of them all over the place I've got one in my car One next to my key rack when I go out I got one in my carry-on luggage for traveling and one I used to have in trunk of my car, which I think I left somewhere just recently too too bad

[13:34] Speaking of umbrellas I have noticed that more and more latinas are using umbrellas during the day You know when they're walking down the street Mostly light-skinned latinas by the way makes sense, right? Obviously light-skinned latinas have problems with the Sun to here's this sort of crazy thing if you're walking through any big Latin American City in a busy district an area that's packed with people walking down the street. Let's say at midday Well, you'll see the occasional woman light-skinned Latina using an umbrella I see that happening all the time, but I've noticed one thing very peculiar I've never seen a guy on a hot sunny day using an umbrella Never ever a Latino hombre a male Shading himself with an umbrella during the daytime my suspicions were confirmed when my latina girlfriend told me the real reason

[14:24] She said only light-skinned latina ladies and the occasional gay guy will use an umbrella in a noonday sun Why is that because this is a macho latino society and having an umbrella is considered wimpy Pansy ass or gay when a guy doesn't it's considered a girl thing Which did make me think for a second and I said well, then is that what they're thinking about me? She said Oh, no, you're a gringo. You can do it gringos can get away with stuff like that She said gringos are sort of unicorns. They get special dispensation She said people meaning Latinos and Latinos won't comment when a gringo or gringo does something they consider odd or strange They just cut us a ton of slack. It's part of our gringo advantage To that point, you know, most of my Latino friends say as gringos have an odd way of dressing

[15:10] They can spot us a mile away and when there's a dress code for example in a restaurant or bar or a church Whatever it might not surprise you to know that a gringo who does not conform to the existing dress code He or she will still be able to slip on through it's happened to me a number of times though There are exceptions. That's generally the case Talk about lag time. How about this? My Latina girlfriend said to me She said when there's a Latino guy a male carrying an umbrella in the noonday sun. That's considered gay It's a gay thing to do. It reminded me how in the 70s 80s and 90s that was sort of a common insult Oh, that's so gay Man, I must have heard American guys and gals blurt that phrase a million times way back when when someone did something a little bit off

[15:59] There'd always be some wise guy in the group who'd say you did what that's so gay I even remember my younger sister and a group of friends saying that in fact I remember not so long ago. I was at somebody's house and they were watching that movie that old movie The Wedding Crashers With Vince Vaughn and who's the other guy with the crooked nose? Anyway, that's exactly what one of the principles in the movie said That's so gay and you know what the translation was in Spanish. That's so a stupido So stupid. So the translation was PC, but the audio in English wasn't Now I'm just pointing out the lag time and the cultural differences involved between a very PC and woke society Like we have up in the states versus the society down here in Latin America, which is not woke or PC at all

[16:44] Depending on the example there could be two five ten fifteen twenty even twenty five year lag time From what I understand no one up in the states would dare say the phrase you did what that's so gay You'd be gaslighted and canceled in a minute And if you got called out saying it at work if they didn't outright fire you there'd be automatic sensitivity training But here in Latin America, I've heard Latinos and Latinas say it all the time. Oh, that's so gay By the way gay in English is the same in Spanish Fact is when I first got down here to Latin America people didn't say gay They said homosexual though. Most of them use the more vulgar term maricon or Waco and these days in 2024 they still use that word maricon all the time

[17:30] Often shortening it up to Marika. That's sort of a slang insulting street term for gay maricon So the irony is that although the gay culture thing has been pretty much completely accepted in Latino society The Latino slang Vocabulary regarding gays is still stuck back some years in time Reminds me how people used to talk in the states back in the 70s 80s and 90s You might be old enough to remember that you often heard the term Oh, that's so gay to describe something odd weird or just out of the ordinary Same with calling someone a retard or just blurting out the phrase that's retarded I'm told no one does that up in the states anymore not mixed company. Anyway, they're too afraid of being canceled Meanwhile down here in Latin America. You hear it all the time. It's what us gringos and expats call Latin American lag time for better or for worse

[18:21] Alright moving on. Let's take a quick email. It's from Greg He says Johnny on the topic of AI artificial intelligence in the manufacturing process He says I saw an interview last year I believe with Sam Altman of open AI who referenced Boeing's AI program artificial intelligence program for creating a more fuel-efficient plane using the 757 model with access to a supercomputer for the case study Apparently it took two weeks and created a 30% more fuel-efficient plane Therefore he says with the manufacturing Revolution already underway with robots merging with AI for 3d printing automated supply chains Offering nearer instant on-site delivery further shifting human labor and skills to the robot market

[19:12] With that in mind. He says Johnny. Do you think that one day? We may progress in robotics enough to have tortilla lady robots Palming and pressing tortillas replacing the tortilla ladies on the streets of Guatemala and the rest of Central America What do you think Johnny signed Greg hmm Greg interesting thought experiment come to think of it? That's a fantastic idea Now for those of you who've never been to Latin America You'll find almost in every street corner a tortilla lady making tortillas Sometimes three times a day. It'll be a little sign there tortillas fresh three times a day There'll be a couple of ladies and maybe a young kid always a girl that funny always a girl always ladies making tortillas Never saw a guy doing it. How sexist is that anyway generally ones needing and mixing the dough and other ones

[20:00] Flipping them on a hot plate and another one counting them out taking the money as people buy them Man, that would be like a walk in the park For a robotics expert to program now. I know some of you might be thinking Johnny Why did you say that's a fantastic idea because they'll be putting all these tortilla ladies out of work How could you think of destroying so many thousands of quaint little homey businesses? The problem is the way they fabricate and sell those tortillas is super unhygienic Although tortillas taste great when they're fresh and warm. I'm telling you you do not want to know how the sausage is made There's cross-contamination everywhere. First off those tortilla ladies do not use gloves So at the same time they're making tortillas They're petting the dog wiping the snot from their kids nose You've got flies landing all over the place the tortilla lady taking money and giving change with the same hands

[20:51] She's been counting the tortillas with and of course going to the bathroom when nature calls and there's generally no running water or Towels or napkins in that bathroom if they even have a real bathroom Some of them don't so she just disappears behind a building to do her thing Anyway, that's why I say it would be a fantastic improvement to have a robotic tortilla lady Heck we could even dress the robot in indigenous clothes. So the tourists aren't pissed Anyway, those of us who've had about a Montezuma's revenge from street food might call that progress Some who are traditionalists might not All right, moving on let's take another email, you know, I got a lot of comments on the episode I did on August 9th 2024 the one about expats getting addicted to social media

[21:37] For example, listen to this email with comments on the subject from Doug. He says Johnny. Good morning Hope all is well and I'll paraphrase this a bit. He says This was originally gonna be an email telling you about how right you were regarding expat fake book groups out of Guatemala and Latin America you covered the subject very well on your August 9th podcast for the most part as For me, he says I'm retiring soon and was able to get back into social media sites like LinkedIn and fake book Well, I use fake book mostly to reconnect with my family and friends I also use it to reach out to the many people I serve together with back in the 1980s However, despite your good advice. I did join one or two expat fake book groups in which I only lurk

[22:23] I don't participate not a peep comes out of my keyboard But oh my god, Johnny some of the most leftist commie shit this side of Pol Pot and Stalin comes out of those fake book groups You were right again and the sanctimonious duplicity of it all he says in one second They're talking about how Western tourists and governments take advantage of the locals Then in the next minute they're asking where they can get free vet care for their non-binary dog or a cheap plumber To look at their leaky faucet on and on and on I say Dios mio my god make it stop He says thankfully Johnny I haven't and will not get as pulled in as that expat social media addict whose letter you read in the last episode

[23:09] Take care Johnny and keep the episodes coming. I look forward to your upcoming seminar regards tug Okay, while we're at it. Let's take this email from Chris. He says Johnny you may have spoken about this issue before I was at an Italian restaurant at the Fanta Bella in Guatemala City and was trying to pay in dollars Man, they only accepted two of my bills the rest they said were not in good enough condition Now to me they all were close to new but the waiter kept saying there was a tiny discoloration here or there or something else Why are they US bill Nazis in Latin America? Is there no way to deposit or convert them in Guatemala? Does this happen in other Latin American countries? Thanks sign Chris Well, yes, Chris that does happen in other Latin American countries

[23:55] And it's getting worse too because there are a lot of counterfeits floating around You know for the last couple months I was in South America and the central banks down there were warning businesses and consumers to be on the lookout for Counterfeit US dollars to have the look and feel of legitimate bills They're called G5 banknotes. I don't know why anyway They make these almost perfect fake bills by chemical washing US $1 bills then they got the exact right paper correct. That's the hardest thing to get I guess the paper So they take US $1 bills and chemically wash them Apparently they do it with certain denominations of Venezuelan Boulevard's to you can wash them They use the same kind of paper used in US paper money

[24:42] Then they reprint on top of those washed bills higher denominations of US money Apparently the forgers are such good artists. They're saying that the ink they use to reproduce the colors match exactly those on US currency Also, the banks are saying many of them will pass the test when run through one of those electronic counterfeit checkers and the only way to distinguish the counterfeit bills from real legal bills is To rub on a specific area the bills with a certain amount of pressure Apparently there is a way to get the ink on the fake bills to rub off, but there's a trick to it So naturally more and more retail outfits are getting gun-shy about accepting 50 and hundred dollar bills unless they're in absolutely perfect shape The fact is practically every tien de restaurant grocery store hardware store

[25:28] I've ever walked into in Latin America up by the cash register They have a US 50 or 100 or 20 dollar bill under glass Fakes that they took in and only discovered they got stiffed for when they took it down to the bank Now if you happen to be one of those lucky expats who lives in Latin America and doesn't go back to the states Hardly at all. If you have some US funny money, that's an iffy condition, you know Maybe it's got some smudges on it or ink marks tears or big old creases You could always pop off to El Salvador They'll take US dollars in any condition because they use the US dollar there Even so if you're thinking about changing them at a bank, it's not gonna happen Oddly enough banks in Latin America are very picky about taking in US dollars Even though the local funny money they disperse is often in terrible condition

[26:16] Often so smudged and filthy and taped up. Yep taped up You're afraid to fold it and put it in your pocket cuz it might just disintegrate there That's one of the many ironies of living in Latin America Especially in tourist towns. There are lots of ATMs that'll disperse the local funny money and US dollars So let's say for example you go up to one of those ATMs and you ask for $200 US dollars They almost always come out as 20s So you'll get 10 $20 bills and I bet at least one of those 20s Maybe two out of the ten will be mangled enough Such that if you went right to the nearest bank, they won't accept them In other words, the US bills they'll routinely reject they won't take they'll gladly spit out to the naive public in their ATM machines

[27:02] And you know There are lots and lots of Americans down here in Latin America who get a direct deposit social security check in dollars Deposited monthly to their Latin bank account lots of gringles and expats will withdraw that money once check comes in US dollars My advice check those bills very carefully because they will give you bills that have smudges and marks on them Bills they would never accept if you tried to deposit them. They'll gladly pass off to you. Don't you hate banks? Damn it You've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America If you need some help with your own plan B, we can schedule a one-on-one phone or Skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at Gmail dot-com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week-long expat insider seminar in Central America

[27:50] Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan B Send me an email the expat files at Gmail dot-com. No spamos