#1360 – The Expat Files: Life in Latin America – Language, Culture, and the Road Ahead

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you ex-pad wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started If you're a faithful listener to this show, you're certainly somewhere along the line on your plan B, right? Getting the hell out of Dodge and moving the Latin America's the plan, right? And man, I'll tell you when you first land down here There will be lots of surprises and lots of things you're gonna be confused about I find it's best to just roll with it

[00:50] And see how it plays out Even if you're one of those overconfident people and I haven't made a lot of gringles like that who took a lot of Spanish In junior high high school or college without a doubt that stuff really does help you. I wish I had a gone that route I made a bad decision and took French in high school and I wouldn't even have taken French Except for the fact that way back when when I went to high school in order to be accepted into college any college You had to have a year of a foreign language Of course these days they've dropped that college entrance bar so low. There's not even a bar These days you could have the room temperature IQ of a rapper and the 10-word vocabulary to go with it and get a full boat Scholarship because of those federal DEI laws, but you knew that already, right? Man. Am I glad I got the hell out of Dodge

[01:38] The thing is though Even if you've got book learned Spanish from up in the states and you come down here to Latin America All pumped up because you think man I got this thing licked you're still at first anyway gonna have problems understanding a lot of people on the street Because just like up in the states the sweaty masses don't use formal English down here The sweaty masses don't use formal Spanish when you get down here You'll find there are lots of words if you try to look them up or jot them down to look up later You'll find don't exist in the dictionary at all For example the word battery, you know, like ever ready battery down here in Latin America. It's but that area Simple enough, right sounds almost the same in Spanish as it does in English Well, guess what? I found out by a hook and crook when I started playing in bands down here in Latin America

[02:24] That's also the name for a drum set now why in the hell they'd call the drum set a bat area I have no idea, but I guess it took me a few weeks to catch on I mean, I'm in this band right all of the other guys a hundred percent Latin Americans I'm the only gringo and my Spanish really sucks. It's almost non-existent at that time Anyway, my other band mates they're jabbing away in Spanish. I'm catching about every fifth word They were children of the rich. They all went to expensive bilingual helicopter schools So they did speak English So once in a while they'd fill me in with an English word or two, you know I'm thinking is there a dead battery and the guitar players effects box the wah wah pedal the fuzz box in

[03:12] The lead players guitar tuner. Maybe they were battery. I kept popping up Why don't they do something about it? Go to the T and a drop two bucks and get one and I'm telling you for a couple of weeks I thought they were talking about a dead battery or something and being the new guy in the band Not wanting to come off as a complete dummy I just never questioned it but eventually a light went off and I figured out what they were talking about You know, even language dunces like me will pick up a few Spanish terms by osmosis Now, why is that definition not in the Spanish language dictionary? I'm talking about the alternative definition for battery Battery. Well, maybe it is now but back then it wasn't remember when I first got down here There was no internet was no Google by the way, they call Google Google a That's right. Google a you know, I openly admit I'm prejudiced

[04:00] I have a real problem with people when they say Google it because I have such a dislike even hatred for Google When people say Google it or I Google it I judge them. It's not a very thorough or discriminating person for me They always lose a bit of their intellectual capital. They lose points Does that make me a jerk? Maybe I guess that's because all the smart gringos. I know all my engineering buddies and nerd friends, too They know better than to use Google which is out there collecting stealing and selling your data all the time including your whereabouts in every movement Instead all my smart friends use duck duck go start page or the brave browser for all their searches They do everything possible to avoid using Google and you know for a long time Wikipedia's been shit too. It's captured. I get the same cringy feeling when I see people using what's up

[04:51] Down here in Latin America people live on what's up What I mean is ninety nine point nine percent of Latin Americans can't live without it if in Latin America What's up crashed for one day? I think the whole Latin American world would screech to a halt It would be the end of the world for Latin Americans And if you think that's hyperbole, I think I'm exaggerating. Come on down here and just rent a car get into an uber Get on a subway And you'll see practically everyone glued to their phone on what's up Go ahead drive down a busy street pull up to a stop sign and when eight or nine motorcycles pull up right next to you They will slow down before they run that red light Aside from that take a look at their hands one hand will be on the handlebar and the accelerator The throttle in their other hand will be their phone with the whatsapp app open

[05:43] Motorcycle riders down here Especially the delivery guys and I'd say more than half for the motorcyclists our delivery guys They are checking their what's up all the time not only at street corners at stoplight They ride along with one eye on the road and one eye on what's up now, of course We all know you're not supposed to be checking your phone while you're driving. That's a delito Transit offense called a delito down here, but like most things here in Latin America There is zero enforcement of that. I have talked to a few transit cops about that They just shrug and say there's really nothing they can do about it. Everybody does it including the cops By the way, I'm friends with a Latino guy who works for a big insurance company down here I know it sounds crazy, but he tells me his company ensures more than a million cars

[06:31] Now I know that might sound strange because in past shows I've said that most Latinos don't have car insurance or they get it have it a while and just quit paying the payments Out of sight out of mind and they let it lapse Well, that's basically true for most motorcycle riders and Latin Americans who have cars that are basically wrecks their junks But if you bought a car on the payment plan, you know through a bank loan or loan from the dealership You're automatically forced to pay the insurance, you know that it's included in part of your monthly payment So anyway, this Latino buddy of mine who works for a big insurance company He says there's lots of concerned talk around the office they all know that at least half maybe more of the car accidents and fender benders are Directly or indirectly caused by someone paying more attention to their phone than the road

[07:23] They all know the culprit is what sap. He said all the insurance company bigwigs and number crunchers know that they're concerned He said but a funny thing is it doesn't affect their bottom line Because everyone he says who's got full coverage here in Latin America has on average of five hundred dollars deductible and He says since 80 plus percent of all accidents are small fender benders dinks and scratches It's the insured driver on the hook if they want to get it fixed Which is why you see even pretty decent cars down here have so many little dinks and scratches after a while The owners just give up They throw in the towel because if they got every ding and scratched repaired like people do up in the States and Canada and Europe Not only would it be an endless drain on their finances because it would always be within the deductible

[08:11] Worse yet the car be stuck in the body shop at least once a month So there are basically five reasons Why there are so many more dings bangs and fender benders here in Latin America than anywhere up in the States or Canada Now this might sound crazy to you, and I don't have any real numbers to back this But I'd say there are at least ten times as many accidents down here Big and small from fender benders to total wrecks then what you're accustomed to seeing up north by you Oh, and those five reasons why you just can't keep your car from being banged and deaded Number one those crazy ass motorcyclists bobbing and weaving and running red lights in fact breaking every transit law You can imagine including going the wrong way down one-way streets and driving on sidewalks Second reason lack of signage and all kinds of unmarked obstacles in the streets like open manholes with no covers

[09:02] People like to steal manhole covers because there's a big market for scrap metal I always wonder what the scrap metal dealers thinking when someone comes in with two or three manhole covers Manhole covers huh where'd you get those? Anyway, the third reason for excessive fender benders here has to do with that minimal personal space phenomena here in Latin America You know the drill down here when you're standing in line unlike up in the states Where people give the person in front and behind them lots of room down here. They don't do that They're right up against you. It doesn't bother them Latinos are used to it same thing applies when they're driving down the road What we consider tailgating Latinos consider normal That's even true with the lines drawn on the street to designate lanes first thing you'll notice is they seem pretty damn narrow

[09:50] They aren't as big or wide as they are up in the states Same thing with the designated spots in parking lots parking spots are smaller. Just check out the lines drawn on the pavement That's why if you noticed in almost every parking lot people retract their side view mirrors I don't think I ever did it once when I lived up in the states But down here I do it all the time because if you don't the guy parking next to you when he opens his door is Gonna whack your mirror guaranteed now if you've ever driven through the neighborhoods and barrios here in Latin America You'll soon pick up on another reason why there are so many dings bangs and scratches When they designed the roads in the neighborhoods down here if anybody actually bothered to design them in the first place Most just seem to have grown spontaneously like mold or mushrooms

[10:38] Anyway, you'll notice the streets are not big and wide like they are up in the states and Canada on top of that people Just park anywhere They feel like as long as they want and for as long as they can get away with Seems like down here the only time you're ever ticketed for parking illegally or overstaying your time is in the big city Where they've actually got parking meters installed? By the way when you finally get down here, and you're looking to buy a car You'll hear a lot of Spanish terms for cars that are sort of slang not in the dictionary now when you're in Spain or Argentina They'll often use the word coach a like coach But almost never in the rest of Latin America. They'll also use the more formal word auto mobile automobile like automobile or vehicular Spanish for vehicle

[11:25] But most Latinos don't use those formal words for car they use the slang words for example if you're talking about a real small tiny car subcompact cars like Toyota Yaris Kia Picanto mini Cooper Nissan note and OTE. I think it's Nissan Suzuki Swift Down here one of those is called a car ito. See a r r ito car ito Now a regular car is called a car row the word car with an extra RO on the end of it car row see a r ro Easy enough self-explanatory and any Spanish word that's got ito on the end of it ito means small so Carito is a small car that goes for everything in the Spanish language for example

[12:12] If a kid's name is Luis and another kid's name is Luis Ito the Luis with the ito at the end of his name is little Luis so again in Spanish a car ito is a subcompact car a Caro is just a regular car like you know Honda Civic now. Here's where things get a little bit weird There's no direct translation for SUV You know like for Toyota RAV4 4Runner Range Rover Kia Sportage or any car considered an SUV down here. SUVs are called jeepetas Yep, it's got the word jeep J-e-e-p in it. Can you believe that because we're not talking about jeeps here

[12:57] We're talking about SUVs, but down here. They're called jeepetas or jeepeta J-e-e-p-i-t-a Now of course the jeep is called the jeepeta 2 which makes sense But it doesn't really make sense at all that every other type of SUV is called a jeepeta But you know that's the way it is and as for pickup trucks. They don't say pickup. They say Camioneta Same thing for vans. They're camionetas Which means little truck because a camion in Spanish means truck So a camion is a truck Camioneta is a little truck or a pickup truck or a van for example a Camionero is a truck driver by the way in Spanish when you put an ero on the end of a name that usually personalizes it

[13:44] For example a pescadero is a fisherman pesca meaning fish in the aero meaning the guy who fishes pescadero That means of course a many one arrow is Marijuana smoker the word marijuana with the arrow. Yeah row in the end of it for example You might know as a pateau is a shoe so a shoemaker would be as a patero So then what about a bus like a chicken bus? Well, they're just a boost or auto boost Funny thing too over the years. It's sprinkles and expanse who coined the term chicken bus Latinos don't say chicken bus which would be boost Depoyos which they never say it's a word that gringles and expats use in English only Latinos No, because again historically, especially when you're out in the boonies when you're right a public bus oftentimes

[14:33] There'll be some person or other carrying a live chicken. Yep. That is permitted though for sure not so common today I mean things do progress but in the old days. Yep, and the name stuck speaking of cars specifically electric cars EVs Did you know that the number one country for Chinese electric vehicle sales in the world is? Brazil number two Belgium in 2023 brazilians bought over a hundred thousand Chinese EVs Why because they're cheap very cheap in Brazil. They're half the price of a Tesla or even less Kind of makes you wonder if there's a Chinese equivalent to Elon Musk out there somewhere by the way speaking of cars here in Latin America, I discovered something very strange. Just a few years back. There are two very popular subcompact cars sold here in Latin America

[15:23] They're not sold in the first world at all. One is a Toyota Vits VITZ and one is a Suzuki Swift Now I had a friend with a Toyota Vits One day for some reason I had to take it somewhere and I noticed whilst in the driver's seat Everything was reversed the windshield wipers on the left side where the turn signal should be the electric window switch For the left side was on the right side The toggle switch to move the side view mirrors left was right and right was left most of those controls were on the wrong side I thought what the hell's going on here? Well, I found out soon enough My friend said his car he said came straight from Japan where they drive on the other side of the road like in England Did you know that I certainly didn't though? I did find out also that right after World War two when the US occupied Japan

[16:11] Everyone drove on the right until they gave it back to Japan then they went back to driving on the left again And for some reason a bunch of companies are flourishing in Japan that do right hand drive Conversions and ship them to different markets around the world. In other words, they take a car That's slightly used maybe only one year old maybe 10,000 miles on it with Japanese right hand drive And they switch the steering wheel and the dashboard out So it's on the left side along with the gas and brake pedal and all the controls Apparently from what this guy said they were able to save thousands in import taxes because Cars that have been converted like that pay almost no import tax Don't ask me how or why but these cars do exist down here. I've seen a number of them First thing I'm thinking though is there got to be some kind of problem with those cars switching everything over to the other side

[16:57] Man, I don't know what could go wrong Would you trust a car that was completely altered like that? But then again, you know, the Japanese are meticulous when it comes to mechanics electronics, etc And they're doing the conversions in Japan. Maybe that's why almost no one has any trouble with those things Mechanics have told me they're just as dependable as the ones that come straight from the factory And I've been told they come at a thousand to two thousand dollar discount Over the very same models coming from Toyota and Suzuki with left hand drive direct from the factory I know it sounds weird and confusing It sure did to me especially when I was sitting in the driver's seat trying to use the turn signals and the windshield wipers kicked In and since that day it was three or four years ago. Now. I've noticed quite a few of those right-hand drive conversions in all kinds

[17:43] Of used car lots and get this it's all about taking advantage of an import tax loophole The question is would I recommend you get one of those things? I don't know. It seemed to be okay People don't have any trouble with them. And if you can save a couple grand Well, I don't know my gut feeling as an engineer I say no, but then again as mentioned they do the conversions in Japan Now if they were doing the conversions here in Latin America, that'd be another thing altogether You know how I'm always harping on the fact that Latinos are not into the details Speaking of details if you heard last week's show, you'll remember I was talking about how Latin American building contractors always put way too few electrical outlets in their buildings and projects Well as it turns out just this weekend I was visiting one of my gringo buddies who lives in a fairly new gated guarded

[18:32] Residential tower with underground parking. So I pulled up Signal the guard he hit a button and the big metal door opened and I drove in My buddy's apartment has two parking spaces and I pulled next to his car Down in the underground parking area and I noticed he was there in the backseat of his car using his shop vac to clean it up I also noticed a long long extension cord Attached to that shop vac snaking up a wall and disappearing into a window and I said to him What's that all about? But I really didn't have to ask that question I knew it was happening. There wasn't a single electrical outlet in the entire underground parking lot Not a single one So for example, if you needed to use a shop vac like my buddy did he had to snake it up through a window into

[19:22] The first floor lobby where the guard was in the guard plugged it in to an outlet behind his desk Think of it not a single electric outlet in an underground parking garage that held maybe 14 cars I said to my buddy. How old is this building? He said 12 years old I said, are you serious no electrical outlets in the parking garage? Which made me instantly think of another problem in the future. Everybody's switching over to electric cars, right? Imagine not having an electrical outlet in your garage to charge your car Now obviously the ideal setup would be to have a 220 volt 40 amp circuit in your garage for your EV a 110 volt standard outlet just won't cut it. Sure You could slowly trickle charge your car with 110 circuit

[20:09] But to top off a very low battery would probably take you about three days. Not good not convenient at all So all you really need is a 220 volt dryer outlet You know like you have for an electric dryer Then you could get a nice charge in a couple hours Go from maybe 20% on your battery to 90 or 100 percent in maybe eight hours The thing is though you're gonna have to make arrangement to get one of those things installed in your parking spot The logistics may not be that easy It's gonna have to be connected through your house through your circuit box since you'll be paying for the electricity It can't be connected to the common circuitry in the parking lot and the rest of the building Your condo association will never let you get away with that So anyway, think about that if you're living in a residential tower and you're thinking about getting an EV

[20:59] Of course, no problem. If you're living in a house freestanding house If not, please don't assume your condo boards gonna go along with it Chances are if you're the first guy to get an electric car in your building complex You'll hit a lot of roadblocks which begs the question. Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Now according to a large recent University study Americans have been quite optimistic about the future until covid hit and now most Americans who rated themselves as optimists have flipped They're now slightly pessimistic on almost everything they were quizzed about for example There's an article with the stark title are Americans liars or just natural born optimists? It says for example, even after covid many Americans remain perpetual optimists Recent studies show that the average American

[21:45] overestimates the number of calories he's burned in a workout by a factor of four Americans also overestimate their IQs by approximately ten points it goes on to say male Americans overestimate their net worth by 30% or more and get this it says those Americans who exercise Reward themselves on average after the workout with about twice as many calories as they just burned off Which is why so many Americans who exercise or say they exercise never seem to lose weight Oh, and then there are a few words in this report about Americans and stress. We all talk about stress these days It's a hot topic because stress kills. It's one of the first things that doctor will ask you when you go for a checkup

[22:31] How are your stress levels? That's why so many of us want to have a plan B as well to lower our stress Anyway, the article says sudden cardiac death is a well-known feature in American society Are the enough it could come when you have a triumph a disaster or even with extreme joy? Consider the scenario of a man dying in the aftermath of the news that he's just won the lottery There are many recorded cases of that and we've all heard about instances where someone died during sex To which some will remark. That's the way I want to go. At least I'll die happy It says scientists have found losing and winning put great strains on people's hearts It says that Las Vegas casinos have long since known

[23:18] There is a sort of cardiac vulnerability to strong emotions That's why big Las Vegas casinos have a nurse and defibrillator on hand Here's something else. Most people don't know about stress The official numbers are that stress makes about two-thirds of people hyperphagic. That means they eat a lot more and get fat The other third of people under great stress are hypophagic. They have a diminished appetite and therefore lose weight Weirdly enough it all depends on the type of stress you're put under for example when you stress Lab rats you get the same confusing picture some become hyperphagic eat more and get fat now There's hypophagic. So a big reason why most of us become hyperphagic during stress. That is we eat more is

[24:05] That in the West we have intermittent Psychological stressors throughout the day. There are times when we're not stressed at all in times when we are greatly stressed So the type of stressor is a big factor constant low-grade stress Suppresses people's appetites. That's why there were no obese or fat people in Auschwitz Even though some worked in the soldiers and officers kitchens and could eat well Even so they had constant low-grade stress and when liberated appeared to be as anorexic as the prisoners in the yard By the way, we all know shitting in your pants is a common expressive term for panic or surprise, right? However, we all know regardless of how stressful a situation how panicky a board meeting Even when you screech your tires and have a near miss where you have to stop and take 10 deep breaths still almost none of us

[24:54] shit our pants Most of us go through our entire adult lives without shitting or peeing our pants However with extreme stress some people will pee their pants And that's why in states where they have the death penalty prisoners are clothed in diapers before an execution Now I've said about that by the way, I noticed something strange happening about one in the morning Walking through a very nice sort of upscale neighborhood called Palermo Soho in Buenos Aires, Argentina You know, it's odd that there are two nice neighborhoods with the same name Palermo Soho and Palermo Hollywood weird, huh? Anyway, I'm walking down the street about one in the morning every block or so There's a nice restaurant or bar and I noticed a block ahead. There are three or four gas

[25:40] Lanterns in front of a building Coleman camping lanterns I walked up to see what was going on and I noticed three college-aged bohemian artist types Painting some really artsy-fartsy graffiti on the side of an abandoned building So anyway, I finally headed out the next day I walked past the same place about 10 in the morning and the graffiti in the daytime looked pretty damn nice None of that F the police Chicago, Detroit Cleveland graffiti. No vulgarities at all The perpetrators were not delinquent glue sniffers with paint cans. These guys were obviously college students probably art students They were deep into painting some really sophisticated graffiti They didn't give a damn who walked by who shouldn't stop and commented So anyway, the next morning I saw they'd laid out their graffiti on about half of the building

[26:30] Really kind of cool intricate stuff, but you know still it's graffiti right where I come from you get in trouble for that kind of crap So anyway, the next night now it was a weekend one in the morning. I'm walking past that place again Same group with their Coleman lanterns doing touch-up on that graffiti a Few days later another part of town. I see another group doing the same thing then suddenly You know, I'm kind of tuned in to watching for that stuff and I'm seeing it every night I notice there is a particular kind of graffiti very artsy very nice graffiti in crap neighborhoods and really high-end neighborhoods It's as if it's become sort of an expected cultural phenomena What a difference it was compared to that crap graffiti I see in Detroit in Chicago for lack of a better term

[27:17] It's sort of a gentrified graffiti if there is such a thing. It seems to fit in I know what you're thinking yuck graffiti. I know what you're picturing in your mind strangely enough The perpetrators make it fit in and the neighbors don't seem to mind So you've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America If you need some help with your own plan B We can schedule a one-on-one phone or Skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week-long expat insider seminar in Central America Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan B Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com