#1311 – The Expat Files: Laundry Woes, Bed Bugs, and the State of Ecuador

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you ex-pad wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started you know, I do a lot of traveling so I often stay in Airbnb and or furnished apartments short-term and I've noticed there's kind of a trend that I'm not liking very much at all landlords are buying these so-called hybrid washer dryer units and

[00:49] installing them in furnished apartments Airbnbs etc. In that regard. I've got just one thing to say those hybrid washer dryers kind of suck I've tried a lot of them even the so-called brand name ones like LG and Panasonic You do know what I'm talking about right a combined washer dryer unit you put your clothes in Run the wash cycle and when it's over you switch to the dry cycle You don't take the clothes out at all because it's the same unit. You just hit a different set of buttons Well, I'm here to tell you the wash cycle works just fine. It's the dry cycle I can't believe they even put some of these things on the market can take four even five hours to dry a load of clothes And it's not because people don't change the filters and they get clogged Well, they don't change them, but I do and it's all about airflow

[01:37] But still no matter how much airflow you have when it's a combined washer dryer unit and you go to the dry side Seriously, it takes twice as long as your average dedicated stand-alone dryer unit I know I know they develop those things for convenience and for use in very small spaces like tiny studio apartments and stuff But man, I'll tell you they just have not perfected those things yet That's why when I'm scrolling through an Airbnb site, you know, they show all the room is usually a photo of every room Right when I see the place has got one of those hybrid units. I immediately downgrade the place a few points Oh, and I've been to appliance stores. Those are expensive You're better off buying one of those double washer dryer units, you know, we're once stacked on top the other they're connected You've seen them those long skinny units with the washer on the bottom and the dryer on the top at eye level again

[02:27] Those things were designed for a very small apartment spaces, too I've used quite a few of those things too and they work just fine except they're not very durable not like a stand-alone unit It's the washing machine part not the dryer part that seems to break down more frequently And because everything's so compact and parts jammed in such small spaces They're not nearly as easy to troubleshoot or fix as a standalone unit I bought one a few years back, but never again Leave me I've tried to troubleshoot and fix a few of those units. Sometimes I was successful Sometimes I wasn't then you got to call in the expert and chances are he's not gonna have the parts on him right then And there in the end if you have a new one, they're not terrible They are much better than those all-in-one hybrid units I'd never buy one of those at least not till they perfect them still

[03:13] I always prefer a standalone washer and a standalone dryer unit side by side At least there's a lot of room inside for you to take them apart and fix them if you have to shame how these days things Never last as long as they did your mom's and pops day. Not your major appliances. Anyway, that's for sure So again, skip the hybrid washer dryer units That is if you're in the market to buy a washer or dryer don't get sucked in though They sure look nice in our great space savers Just saying a little advice from someone who's tried quite a few of those things and was never satisfied By the way, I've stated a lot of furnished apartments and Airbnb's where they just have a washer no dryer What the hell you supposed to do with your wet clothes? You're not allowed to hang them on your balcony

[03:59] It's tacky anyway, so you end up draping them all over the place on your sofa your chairs tacky man tacky And you know, I hate using laundromats. How about you? By the way, speaking of renting furnished apartments and Airbnb's and such, you know It seems recently there's been a huge plague of bedbugs throughout the world Not a pleasant thought when you're gonna rent an Airbnb or a furnished apartment Is it even my own brother who rents out a few houses in Chicago? He said to vacate and completely fumigate a few and kick out a tenant who was a hoarder and smelled like a dumpster In the end, he had to rip out all the carpets and tear out a few walls and call in a professional extermination service He tried fumigating the place himself, but he just couldn't get rid of them all So the professionals put a tent over the house and bombed it and that's up north where it gets mighty cold and frosty

[04:50] During the wintertime and you'd think that would limit the bed bug action But he tells me if you're rent to people on welfare You have to expect that kind of thing. The thing is he says there's no way to dictate the cleanliness and hygienic Capabilities of your renters. You can't control how they clean their houses or if they clean them at all And that's up north in the cold. Well, just think about what happens here in tropical climates Where maintenance and personal hygiene aren't very high on a person's bucket list Especially if the water is not running 24-7. You guys have heard me harp on that before How if you live in a municipality, you're not gonna get water 24-7 unless you have a nice big cistern installed Well as for me I've been in many many houses and apartments that I've seen enough kookaracha action to know that Landlords, especially don't give a shit. They're not gonna do a thing about it. If you call and complain it's on you

[05:40] I'm sure though they bug bomb a house between clients to get rid of kookarachas and other critters between renters You can always tell a place has just been bug bombed too by the nasty smell that lingers I'm always thinking time to open the windows in there to place out man Since insecticides are not compatible with human life either Problem is it settles on everything including the plates in the silverware and what about after moving into a new apartment or getting a new Airbnb that has just been bombed for insects. Are you good with that? And what does it tell you that telltale insecticide order lingers around for days and you're stuck living there and and breathing it Don't say you get used to it. You don't now. This may sound nitpicky, but it's really not Have you given any thought to the mattress?

[06:27] You're sleeping on when you're staying in a hotel rent an Airbnb or even getting a fully furnished apartment You probably don't want to even think about how many people or what kind of people or what were the habits of the people? I slept on it before you and believe me I made the mistake a number of times of flipping a mattress over to see what's on its bad side Decide the landlords been hiding the side He doesn't want you to see not to mention according to experts in the hotel business You don't even want to know how many and what kind of little creatures are living in that mattress that remain alive and kicking Even after the things been bugged mom and let's not even touch on the squishy humid canubial aspects of it Now you can get overly paranoid about that stuff and let it take over in your head

[07:12] You have to sort of let it go Just like when you first found out there were 10 times as many bacteria living in you and on you Then the number of human cells in your body a revolt and development for sure at the time, right? But you don't think about it anymore. Do you you let it go? I hope Anyway, a couple of years ago when I was staying at a hotel I woke up a few times in the middle of the night feeling as if some tiny little bugs I mean no see them little bugs so small you can't even see them We're hovering around my face and we're talking about a decent hotel at least a three-star hotel Now the thing is I always carry a very small can of off with me, you know bug repellent It's really been overkill too because I don't think I've used it in over a year even too That stuff's not really good for you either. You don't want to put it on your skin

[07:58] Anyway, I used it that night at that particular hotel and the bugs no longer bothered me The smell and feel of the off bothered me, but the bugs know same thing happened the next night I was booked at that hotel for three nights every night the bugs came though. I couldn't really see him They were there. Yeah, and after the first day I read him the riot act down at the front desk They changed the bedding and all that but you know how hotels are all the three and four star hotels have carpeting The perfect place for tiny bugs to set up shop. Anyway, that's what I decided shit. I'm not gonna go through that again Well, I did some investigating and I find out there are such things as mattress Encasements pillow encasements too So I bought a set guaranteed bed bug and dusts might proof pillowcase and mattress covers that I carry along with me when I'm gonna

[08:47] Stay at an Airbnb or furnished apartment By the way, if you're looking for a furnished apartment in Latin America, you're looking for the word. I'm web blado I'm web blado. It's got the word web lay in it web lay means furniture So anyway some years ago already I went to Amazon and bought this thing called the sleep defense system I Think it cost me like 40 bucks for the Queen Mattress cover and the two zippered pillowcases they fold down to every small compact and tiny like a nice folded sheet and pillowcases Talk about a great insurance policy against bed bugs and other nasty creepy crawlers Anyway, just a thought for you if you travel a lot or your rent places that are furnished They're fully washable and mostly cotton to Apparently all the nursing homes use them to for nighttime leaks

[09:35] by the way a while back one of my expat insiders seminar attendees a Frequent traveler to he showed me a sort of a sleeping bag thing. He carries in his suitcase everywhere. He goes It's not really a sleeping bag. It's just a thin sort of sleeping bag casing, you know about as thick as a sheet He puts that in his bed climbs into that while he's sleeping So he's never touching the sheets of the bed He's sleeping it not a bad idea at all Especially if you were like him a guy who sleeps in lower-end hotels and backpacker hostels and such Now I know a lot of you guys and gals might think I'm kind of anal about this But remember just a couple of months ago. There were articles all over the news all over the world Talking about how France who is hosting the 2024 Olympics is

[10:21] Experiencing a plague of bed bug problems. In fact, I remember seeing articles showing photos of beds out on the streets of Paris You know stacked up next to dumpsters to be taken out in the trash. In fact, they're still talking about it Here's an article says the French government has vowed to take action to reassure and protect the public as its capital Paris Especially reports widespread increases in bed bugs Not only have there been thousands and thousands of reports in houses and rentals But there are sightings of bed bugs in public transportation systems in the upholstery cushions of trains and metros You marvelous, huh? In fact, it says the emerging phenomena of the plague of bed bugs in France Began well over three years ago when the French government launched an anti bed bug campaign, which included a dedicated website

[11:11] information hotline and reporting system 1-800-Ew But that's no joke according to experts from France's national health and sanitary safety body They say the problem has been exacerbated by mass migrations that began a few years back allowing uncontrolled numbers of third and fourth world Migrants into the country with different sanitation norms It seems bed bugs follow the movements of large groups of people from countries with lower Hygienic standards third and fourth world travelers bring back bed bugs in their suitcases luggage on their clothes in person Even their children's toys in addition scientists are observing more and more that bed bug Populations in Europe are much more resistant than older populations So there's no miracle treatment to get rid of them

[11:57] This news comes as Paris gets ready to host a 2024 Olympic Games With officials trying to reassure the public that bed bugs existed before the Olympics and they'll exist afterward, too Oh and oddly enough bed bugs don't like tobacco smoke So even so-called less hygienic European homes with smokers have noticeably fewer bed bug problems By the way, have you been to Europe lately? I have it's a smokers paradise They smoke their asses off Spain France Italy Greece, especially around the Mediterranean There are tons of smokers almost like the US in the 60s 70s and 80s And though it may seem there are tons of smokers in Western Europe. You should see Eastern Europe Romania Bulgaria Montenegro Serbia Turkey Uzbekistan in fact all of the stands cigarette smoking man is an epidemic

[12:47] Oh, and they're not smoking Marlboro's either the smoking the off brands the cheap stuff Oh and you wouldn't believe how many people buy a tin of tobacco and roll their own In fact, that's what one of my British expat insider attendees told me a while back We were talking about middle-class Brits versus middle-class Americans He said one of the biggest differences he noticed between the average British guy and American is that Americans Wouldn't think to roll their own whereas the average British guy who smokes can't afford to buy real Marlboro's I noticed it too. But until he mentioned it, I never really thought of it that way All right, speaking of my upcoming March 2024 expat insider seminar as this show first goes out on Friday January 19th 2024 That means if you're here in this show fresh out of the box

[13:32] You've got 10 days to sign up for my expat insider seminar and still get in on the early bird discounts Because on February 1st 2024 we go back to regular prices. Come on. Who doesn't want to save 500 bucks Remember you've got till February 1st to get in on that deal to get all the info the agenda and the sign-up details Just go to expat plan be calm and click on the seminar link again I've just got to ask that question. How's your plan be coming? Man there's just more and more shit going down in Ecuador, huh? You've been checking it out You know, I've been doing my expat insider seminars now for around 10 or 11 years And of course those people who do end up staying down generally end up in Guatemala or El Salvador

[14:21] Mexico Honduras Panama and some of them end up in Ecuador. In fact, I've had some repeat offenders who ended up living in Ecuador I haven't heard from them in a while I wonder how they're doing and you know me if you're a long-term listener, you know me anyway I've never recommended Ecuador as a good plan B never Though I've often said it's a nice place to visit. I wouldn't want to live there But damn, it seems people would rather listen to big glossy magazines like international living than me I'm sure you longtime listeners remember when I used to say quite a bit if international living recommends it scratch it off your list They're always way too late to the party Anyway, so many chaotic events and dangers and disasters have occurred in Ecuador in the last couple months is almost too many to point out

[15:11] And it's not just with this new president with the last president. I think he had at least 20 states of emergency You know 20 times when he declared martial law Curfews in the states of emergency a very bad sign just like the covid lockdowns I don't know how much you've been keeping up with this. But if you remember just last year In july of 2023 over 90 prison guards in Ecuador were being held hostage by inmates across five different prisons Remember that and just a couple weeks ago Some armed cartel members broke into a tv station while it was on the air grabbed hostages and took the place over All live for everyone to see right on the air Also in 2023 authorities in my jammy caught Ecuador's comptroller of currency trying to escape

[15:58] On the run after stealing I think it was 11 million or so How did Ecuador go in just five years from having the lowest murder and crime rate in latin america to the highest Aside from mexico and venezuela that is Well, according to a 2023 government report Turns out more than a third of all the cocaine produced in south america mostly peru and columbia Is now being transported through ecuador Seems the mexican cartel business model for cocaine has been copied and pasted and transported to ecuador All the same mexican cartels exist in ecuador now And their power extends from the prisons to politicians to the streets So anyway, just last week their new president neboa declared a state of emergency on january 8

[16:44] Implementing a nationwide curfew that set to last two months including school closings The move followed a present break by their number one criminal leader Adolpho marquez known as fito when that guy escaped and the president declared the state of emergency, you know martial law The organized criminal groups the cartels announced they were going to target universities television stations prisons and the cops Since then there have been car bombings kidnappings prison riots and high-profile murders every single day since that announcement And you know a couple months ago when the president was first voted in he's a young guy, I think 32 years old or so Anyway voters were thinking he would be the next president boucle like al salvador Since he promised to build two brand new high security prisons using boucle's example

[17:33] In fact, he wanted to build carbon copies of boucle's prisons way out in the boonies far away from the cities where the criminals inside Would have no contact or ability to influence the locals Well, guess what? He can't seem to get his congress to go along with the vote on that So are they just a bunch of bought and paid for corrupt cowards? Hey, they're politicians. Why wouldn't they be? Though there have been a couple of emergency presidential decrees like for example this one all foreigners Entering ecuador through land borders like for example peru columbia, etc will now have to present an original certified certificate of Encidientes pinales That would be a police report otherwise known as a rap sheet All you gringos and expats out there who have

[18:20] Residency in a foreign country know about that you had to get one too In your case a police or fbi report from back where you live in the states According to this new measure, which is in effect right now You must show them a clean police report or criminal record issued by your country of origin or residence For whichever country you lived in in the previous five years So then how does it affect gringos and expats down there? Well assume that u.s Citizens could be subject to this measure if for example you're coming in from columbia Or the beaches of peru through a land border because you know Even if you're a permanent resident in ecuador, you're still a foreigner until you get your citizenship So then how do you get one of those police reports or as we call them sometimes good conduct report? Well, good luck with that

[19:07] It'll take some time and a lot of expensive courier packages to and from the united states The other thing they don't mention is how recent does this good conduct report have to be? Because if you're applying for residency in ecuador or any place else in latin america The report can't be stamped and dated any longer than six months from the moment you apply There is a question. However expat gringos often ask about those good conduct report What happens? Let's say if you've been living in el solvador for two or three years Or brazil or panama or guadamala How do you get an official police report from your latin american country? Well, all you gotta do is go to your lawyer Probably cost you maybe 25 to 50 bucks and he can have one of his office staff run down and get you one from the local Police department by the way in latin american countries. There are usually two of these reports

[19:56] One's from the local police registry in the city or township where you live and the other is a national or federal registry Now you can go down to the police station yourself if you speak spanish well enough and apply for that certificate It'll probably cost you two or three bucks Could take you four hours to get one, too So the question is how much is four hours of your time worth? As for me there have been times I needed to get one of those reports and I just went to my lawyer's office He had both of those reports ready the next day Oh, and here's another question you might get about those reports from gringo's living down here What happens if you've got a mantra a stain on your report who knows a drunken disorderly charge whatever? I've been told by gringles in this position That for another 50 or 100 bucks your lawyer can have that report all cleaned up

[20:46] Now before you get in a tussle about that remember the name of this show is the expat files living in latin america Where you're going to hear the good the bad the ugly and the great So when I mention that certain legal documents can be manipulated for money Quite small amounts of money too. That's why you're listening to this show, right? Just the facts, man By the way, speaking of buccale, you know, we talked about this a lot Practically every latin american politician says he'd like to do exactly what buccalese do it and buccale's been in office What three four years now? And even though there's talk in all the other latin american countries of doing it his way No one else has stuck his neck out that far yet You know i've had some very deep discussions with some very intelligent people about that The conclusion is they all want to do it, but they all have crooked pasts

[21:35] On top of that with buccale the stars were all aligned in his favor No other latin american politicians seem to have had that luck So what am I talking about here? Well turns out before buccale el salvador had its main two parties It had other parties too, but there were two main parties that were almost always in control Buccale was part of the young educated wing of his party one of those two big political parties Well, he had new ideas that got no traction within his own party He pushed hard within his own party and ended up making enemies there Eventually, they got pissed at him and ended up kicking him out of his own party So what he did was he took his friends and young intellectual buddies and started his own brand new party So when he won He owed none of the traditional parties anything. In fact, it was enemies of all of them

[22:22] That was why it was so easy for him to cut all of them off clean house in congress and start with a fresh slate The trick is For a brand new president with strong ideas to really get things done It's not having to owe any of the traditional lard ass scumbag politicians any favors and so far in latin america Anyway, only president buccale and el salvador has had that advantage Oh and before I forget just one more thing about equator Looks like with all the crap and the chaos going on there right now The real estate market has taken a big hit. Why wouldn't it who wants to move there, right? Oh and all that chaos is killing the idea that foreign investors are interested in coming down to do business, too So let's see now the schools are closed. They've got martial law. The economy's taking a big hit real estate's collapsing

[23:11] Foreigners and foreign companies are afraid to come in and invest. However, there's always hope maybe buccale style politics will prevail We'll see Hey, believe it or not. I've got some ice ice law enforcement officials As regular listeners to the show, you know ice ice is part of the u.s Department of homeland security u.s immigration and customs enforcement ice their job, you know, is to collect and deport illegal aliens Anyway, one of those listeners just sent me a copy of the national law review for january 16th 2024 highlighting an article whose title is illegal immigrants to the us arrested in 2020 that's the year 2020 had an average of four previous criminal convictions each according to homeland security's own data

[24:00] Isn't that funny? They're just coming out with statistics from the year 2020 right now almost four years old, right? Why so tiredy? Why so late? Well, i'm thinking because their 2023 stats would really embarrass the shit out of them Just listen to this. It says according to the figures released by ice for the year 2020 It conducted 103,603 Administrative arrests in the u.s of those arrested 90 of the illegals had criminal convictions or charges at the time of arrest 90 percent those arrested immigrants had a total of more than 374,000 previous convictions and charges that's an average of four previous criminal convictions per person Yet these guys were all illegal walking around in the united states

[24:47] Living and hanging out in the state says free as birds So then what kinds of previous crimes had they been convicted of going down the list? It says there were 74,000 convictions for drunken driving followed by 67,000 drug offenses With over 2,000 charged or convicted of homicide yet. They were walking around Free as birds in the united states until they got picked up again and the list goes on within this group of arrests 1,900 kidnapping convictions 37,000 assaults and 10,000 sex crimes More than 5,000 of these guys were known or convicted gang members 675 believed to be members of the ms-13 gang the report also says there were 31 known or suspected

[25:35] Terrorists in the group. The question is how many dickheads? Do you know stupid enough to believe in open borders and here's what you didn't know Well, you might not have known some of the stuff. We just spoke about federal law gives ice agents jurisdiction only Within a hundred miles of the us border That means if you're an illegal or an illegal criminal sneaking in if you get past the first hundred miles You're not going to get picked up by ice. They have no jurisdiction Unless ice has an actual arrest or search warrant in hand issued by a judge within that district With the subject's complete and correct legal name on it By the way, that's why this particular ice agent who sent this to me Says the state of florida Is one of the best places to nab illegal immigrants because florida is surrounded by water on three sides

[26:22] Meaning it's within the warrantless area of a hundred miles from a us border So florida is one of the few states ice agents do not need a warrant to interrogate or search a subject They believe is an illegal alien a terrorist or criminal Which is not the case for american states that are landlocked by other american states like kansas, colorado, wyoming, nebraska missouri arkansas tennessee Etc, etc. Where ice ike cannot do warrantless searches or interrogations And illegals he says know the loopholes and know the system. Well, all right We're getting towards the end of the show now one last thing in the things you'll learn by serendipity department I just stumbled on this quote from a book i've been reading

[27:08] It says the genius of the listerine campaign from proctor and gamble Was not attributable to the creation of the world's most famous mouthwash listerine, but of proctor and gamble's advertising men popularizing the word halitosis Yeah, halitosis. What a revolt and development too bad. You can't screen for it on those cubit dating apps It's a surprise you'll find out about on that first date South you've been listening to the expat files living in latin america If you need some help with your own plan b we can schedule a one-on-one phone or skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week-long expat insider seminar in central america Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan b. Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com

[27:59] No spammos