#1336 – The Expat Files: Legal Ethics, Cultural Clashes, and Water Crises in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you ex-pad wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Today, how about we talk about a revolt and subject lawyers? Yep, you probably figured out lawyers are corrupt everywhere But could it be they're all corrupt Are they all crooked? Can we make a general statement like that?

[00:47] Well, I have to admit previous to the cold idiot crap about 2020 a case could have been made that a certain percentage of lawyers are good guys or We're good guys who follow the letter of the law But is that really good to follow the letter of the law when we've seen lately so many laws just suck But you know, especially recently with the Trump indictments, what are there something like 60 now? It's just impossible to believe that in the States. Anyway, lawyers in the legal system are on the level Of course lawyers are corrupt in Latin American, too But just how corrupt are they and what's the difference between Latin American lawyers and American lawyers? And how much does all that affect gringos and expats?

[01:33] Maybe you're thinking why jump from the frying pan into the fire Maybe I should just forget about this plan B thing all together throwing the towel stay in Cleveland and forget about getting the hell out of dodge Have those thoughts crossed your mind Thinking you'll stick it out stay put in Cleveland suffer through the bad things that are coming as the shit hits the fan worldwide Now if you're listening to this program, you already know bad shit's coming And I know some if not most of you gonna bees and wannabes are thinking It just seems like it's way too much work to get the hell out of dodge too much crap to organize And as the world keeps imploding you're thinking you can run but you can't hide So why bother it may be interesting to contemplate but in practice a no-go Well, let me try to dissuade you of that notion give you 10 more good reasons

[02:21] Why you really have to shit or get off the pot starting with a few facts about lawyers starting with US lawyers Now you probably never heard of this lawyer unless you're a lawyer yourself His name is Patrick L Schultz former big firm attorney and associate professor of law at Indiana's Notre Dame Law School And he's a present-day judge Turns out in a recent address to incoming law students of Notre Dame in his speech. He got completely honest Unusual for a lawyer, right? He said lots of things true things He got blowback for for example speaking to that class of fresh green new lawyers He says quote if when you graduate you go to work for a big law for you will probably begin to practice law

[03:07] Unethically in at least some respects within your first year or two This happens to most young lawyers. He says in big firms. I Know he said it happened to me now. Remember this guy's a Notre Dame professor and a judge He said it's all a big game and money is how you keep score in that game He says when you start working as a lawyer you begin to get a fever that's exacerbated by regular trade press articles Telling how much money this or that big-shot lawyers making annually You're always comparing yourself to the income of the other guy. He says when lists of lawyers incomes are published biannually They're poured over by every other up-and-coming lawyer with the intensity of a small boy pouring over the statistics of his favorite baseball player

[03:55] It's an obsession that he says is how youthful idealism and young lawyers quickly gets stale and grows moldy He says fresh new young idealistic lawyers Walk out of school and arrive at their first job a big firm to discover a new set of rules and symbols Instead of competing for grades. They must compete for wealth. That's the new symbol of status on the outside He says the culture of lawyers will pressure you in many subtle ways to replace your old school values with the system's new monetary values He says note that during your first month working for a new law firm a senior partner will invite you to a barbecue You'll feel honored and man. Will you be impressed? You'll travel up a long drive park your used Honda by ranks of luxury cars walk up to a long drive towards an enormous house

[04:48] Some butler in a suit and a black boat tie will answer the door You'll be led to a huge garden. They'll serve you pate and shrimp in miniature quiches and cocktails They'll be grilled swordfish and caviar and in the corner. You'll glimpse the senior partners Sipping on glasses of wine holding court with a group of junior partners and senior associates You'll notice the most senior partner will be wearing designer sunglasses designer clothes logos on his shirts His clothes will be impeccable even his shorts will be pressed He'll have a beautiful tan and the nicest haircut you've ever seen He explained to the new class of lawyers in this and in a thousand other subtle ways You'll begin to absorb how lawyers really play the game

[05:34] He said to the young class of lawyers It's very difficult for any young lawyer immersed in this culture day after day to maintain any of the values You had as a law student Slowly almost imperceptibly your young lawyer attitude will change You'll begin to admire things. You did not admire before be secretly ashamed of things. You never contemplated before and Find it impossible to live without certain creature comforts and status markers. You never had her needed before Somewhere somehow he says a young lawyer changes from a person who gets intense pleasure From being able to buy an expensive iPhone to a person enraged over a four hundred thousand dollar bonus When the other junior partners got five? The stage is set early

[06:22] He says and in order to win the young lawyer will begin to cheat in ways that seem at first excusable He'll bill a client for 90 minutes for a job that took an hour in his mind promising himself to repay that half hour Another time thinking it's not stealing its borrowing and they'll do it for a while They'll repay but then they'll stop repaying as time goes on soon They'll convince themselves. They did such a good job for the client that the extra padding of the bill was justified Why shouldn't he pay a little bit more for it? I'm worth it Along with that the new lawyer will soon start lying to get an edge to whether it's fake excuses over missed deadlines or conveniently Misplacing a document that's unhelpful to a case

[07:07] He says you slowly slip into that mindset and after a couple of years you won't notice you're continuously lying cheating and stealing He says you'll be making dozens of quick instinctive decisions every day But those decisions instead of reflecting on the notions of right and wrong by which you might even conduct your own personal life at work instead You'll reflect a different set of values a set of values that embodies not what is right and wrong But what's profitable and what you can get away with? That the law professor says is what the legal profession adds up to these days Which begs the question why would you ever want your kid to be a lawyer? Alright meet Johnny here. What do you think of that? Have you got any lawyers in your family? Well, you know like my mother used to say as far as kids going into a profession

[07:55] She said every family needs a physician a dentist an accountant a plumber a cop and a lawyer Oh, and if your mom's Catholic a priest for a mom or any family that's covering all the bases Yeah, that's right. Even though almost everyone in the US knows being a lawyer is a pretty unholy profession Still every extended family ought to have one since the average person in the US even a slug gets sued According to stats eight times in his life Meanwhile statistics show the average Latin American gets sued about once his entire life now down here in Latin America Every mother would love one of her kids to be a lawyer as well Though you just have to remember any college graduate in the family is a huge badge of honor Funny thing too about lawyers here in Latin America, even though everyone knows they're crooked or at least everyone has a price

[08:47] They don't suffer that horrible Reputational stink that stateside lawyers do probably because there are so few lawsuits. That means Exponentially less pissed off clients personally I found the big difference between lawyers in the states and lawyers down here is that your Latin American lawyer Will often become a very good friend in some cases your best friend Something that rarely happens in the states Nevertheless, it's absolutely true And of course, it's part of your gringo advantage and the fact that Latino lawyers Absolutely prefer gringo clients for obvious reasons. Number one being we rarely speak Spanish and even if we do we can't write in Spanish We're the shit so they have to translate every legal document into Spanish and vice versa That means automatically your lawyer is gonna get extra work out of you number two

[09:34] We pay up front our word can be counted on we show up at the appointed times even though they may not We refer other gringos, etc, etc But here's the thing When's the last time you had to sit down with your lawyer up in the states or called the office even to talk to the secretary? When's the last time you did that and did not get charged for the time? Nope in Milwaukee Cleveland, New York, Chicago Every second year sitting with your lawyer or on the phone with his assistant You're on the clock for a couple hundred bucks an hour to whereas down here in Latin America that almost never happens You never get charged for phone call In fact, if you pop in and talk to your lawyer have a coffee with them sit around for a half hour or so You're never gonna get charged. They love to shoot the breeze with gringos practice They're English and all that down here almost a hundred percent of the time the clocks not running

[10:22] They charge you for the service. They perform not for the hours minutes or seconds They spend doing it and it's a good thing, too and personally I believe they haven't switched over to the gringo way of billing yet is because of that old devil manana time man I'm telling you if Latino lawyers had the clock running during manana time the average gringo would be bankrupt the first trip down Anyway, here's how they bill you for example You want to get your residency started or a will drawn-up title search done on a piece of property? You're looking at your lawyer will give you a price right up front Now the other thing that might come as a shock to you is that when you're sitting in your lawyer's office He just might say what you doing this Sunday. I'm having a barbecue over at a house Come on over you're invited and more than likely after two or three sit-downs with him for whatever reason

[11:10] You'll get invited to his daughter's quincea annual party to breakfast lunches dinners sporting events the beach house the club Because you're a gringo you're in now Whether you go along with all that is up to you and your personality and how you feel about hanging with the guy in General just note if you're not too much of a dickhead yourself. He probably will provide those friendly gestures Just think of how different that is with lawyers. You've had experience with up in the states When's the last time your stateside lawyer wanted to buddy up with you? Unless he was a relative or a college friend probably never now about the corrupt part I'll tell you everybody wants to know about the corrupt part Well you longtime listeners have heard me say many times Depending how connected your Latino lawyer is he can bend and twist the rules in ways a first-world lawyer could never imagine

[12:01] Oh, and if you ever run into a situation or a problem and you're a lawyer hits a brick wall again Depending on his connections if he hits a wall or a dead end you might hear those famous last words Well, you see I can't get involved with that But I do know a guy who knows a guy and for lots of gringos and expats who have their own particular problems That's music to their ears Hey, well, we're at it. How about a Latin American lawyer story? After all this might happen to you probably not though Anyway, not so long ago. Well within my living memory anyway One of my Latin lawyers, you know every Latin American country I've lived and I've had a lawyer or two You really can't use the same one for different countries because they're licensed in a particular country

[12:46] Just like in the states a lawyer is licensed in a particular state You know what it's like. You have to take a specific exam in each state to get licensed So lawyers and doctors and such they're usually licensed in a state or country and can't practice outside of it Anyway, one particular day. I was with my Latino lawyer who shall remain nameless We made a stop at his cousin's body repair shop We stepped out of the car walked on over to a late model Audie that was completely smashed up It turns out it had just arrived in the United States a wrecked car bought at auction for around 10,000 bucks Now an unrekt Audie SUV of that make and model would probably have been around 35 grand well fast forward to about a month later I visited my lawyers house and lo and behold a

[13:34] Beautiful Audie SUV was sitting in the driveway Yep, that same wrecked car completely repaired now just like new and I said to my lawyer friend Wow, so you bought the car that was in this shop the other day, huh? Nice job I would have never known that thing was wrecked. I said you did buy it, right? If you didn't what's it doing here? He said that was my car all the long I bought it online at a Texas auction had it shipped down and my cousin fixed it I said, wow, well, you should be able to get good money for it. Now. It's perfect I don't know mechanically but cosmetically looks great. I said now there's a good business plan Sounds like a great moneymaker buy an expensive late model wreck bring it down Have it fixed up and get two or three times which paid for it. He said, oh, no, I'm not selling it

[14:22] I'm keeping it for myself Now this lawyer had two other cars a pickup and a rav4 both of them in pretty good condition But ten or twelve years old. Well, long story short. He wanted to keep all three I don't know why but I soon found out anyway after that I'd see him around town always driving the pickup or the rav4 but every time I went to his nice office in a great neighborhood, I'd see that big audio SUV in his parking spot and When I'd see him at an event or a resort or a branch, he'd be driving that car, too And finally one day I said to him, you know, I hardly ever see in that Audi You're always in the rav4 pickup truck and he said to me very seriously. He says that thing's a big gas walk I only use it to drive to the office and when I know I'm gonna have a meeting with a client or I'm gonna run

[15:09] Into prospective clients. I said really why he says I'm a lawyer. I have to have a car like that He said he said it helps me maintain and cultivate a certain class of client And I thought if that's his marketing technique, you can't fault him for that But I couldn't believe he was that honest about it. Then he said you have to look successful to be successful I thought man, he must have got a copy of how to win friends and influence people, you know Dale Carnegie's book Yep, they've got that old ancient fossil of a self-help book down here to translate it into Spanish I've seen it in bookstores and in book racks at supermarkets. I never thought anyone read it But anyway, what he was telling me is he had to look to part to cultivate a certain class of clients Now as for me, I wasn't buying it and I tried to school him. I said look I see your point

[15:58] But there are certain unintended consequences. In fact, it could work against you I said as for me and maybe I'm not your typical expat gringo But I don't really want to see my lawyers or doctors driving around in a big expensive car that I'd never drive Because it does go through your mind that his fees are probably a lot higher than normal, too And as for me that really is the way I think and the way many expats and gringos think, too We don't much like it when we see Latino professionals We deal with getting way too caught up in the gringo materialistic world that most of us have been trying to escape from I mean look if you're gonna have a plan B get the hell out of Dodge and all that you should be downsizing a lot In fact, I remember making the rounds to visit various plastic surgeons in Guatemala I was taking two expat gringo ladies around getting estimates on some nips and tux

[16:49] Now that's not too unusual really Some of the seminar folks, you know stay on an extra couple of days to check out things like that Anyway, I remember pulling into the parking lot of one particular cosmetic surgery clinic And I noticed it was a shiny new red Corvette in the doctor's parking space with vanity plates that said dr. Vargas And I thought to myself bad first impression already. I'm not liking this guy I'm thinking number one. He's a big show-off number two He blows his money stupidly because a Corvettes one of the worst cars to drive here in Latin America What with all the speed bumps holes and road obstacles a car like that solo to the road in no time the undercarriage gets Completely ruined not to mention those constant rainy season intersection floods They can almost come up to the floorboards even on an SUV

[17:37] By the way vanity plates down here in Latin America are so rare that when you see him you do a double take Yep, you do see him sometimes and when you do what they're really screaming out is extreme gringo wanna be on board Look if you were a gringo or an expat living down here You'd think that way too because the number one rule for us gringles and expats is to have a low profile And you'd think any and most professionals especially doctors would have at least a half a brain a better than average IQ So then why do so many of them still engage in what you might call adolescent pissing contests seems There's always that kind of competition between doctors and their cars in hospital parking lots Anyway, I try to use that kind of reasoning on the lawyer with that big Audi SUV. It fell on deaf ears

[18:23] He insisted it was necessary to look the part of a successful almost gringo like lawyer Exactly what us gringos and expats don't want a gringo eyes lawyer. Oh, well That's one of the downsides and unintended consequences of the gringo advantage Practically every Latino professional wants to be like his gringo counterpart Pretty funny actually if they only knew the truth that our legal and health care systems are absolutely falling apart If they only knew how badly we them up And you'd think the smarter Latinos with higher IQs would start to get it I mean, you'd think they'd ask the simple question. Why are so many smart wealthy gringos moving down? Why do more and more of us keep coming? But somehow that question never seems to enter the average Latin American mind

[19:09] In fact dozens of times have been in conversations with bright Latinos They rarely ask me why i'm down here and when I nicely explain how the United States is Cracking around the edges and falling apart that the american dream the sueño americano is gone It's kaput by then they've lost interest and are talking to someone else Enough said about that Have you seen the news fresh out of mexico from april 25th? I'm reading this from an article out of Ecuador's largest rag The headline the head of mexico's secret service acknowledged tuesday that the country is the champion of the world's fentanyl production And i'll paraphrase this it says the statement appears to run completely counter to past statements by president andres lopez obedor

[19:57] Who has hotly denied in the past that any fentanyl that passes through mexico was not produced there It came through china and it was only pressed into pills when it ended up in mexico Meanwhile felipe de jesus callo head of mexican's criminal investigation agency and secret service says that since the 1990s Mexico has not only been number one in Methamphetamine world production but now fentanyl too by the way He was speaking on the record at a us mexico conference on synthetic drugs in mexico city on april 25th anyway, in case you had any doubts as To the origin of the drug that causes about seventy thousand deaths in the us annually That's more than all the deaths of us soldiers in vietnam by the way Now the head of the agency also says quote believe me

[20:44] Methamphetamine and fentanyl production have become industrialized in mexico. It's not just in the mountains anymore. He said We're seeing hundreds if not thousands of laboratories everywhere He says the meth and fentanyl trade is so lucrative and so sophisticated that mexican meth and fentanyl Is exported as far away as hong kong europe and australia, but you knew that already, right? In fact, he goes on to say just last year soldiers seized more than a half a million fentanyl pills in just one drug lab meanwhile, and you can look this up president lopez obedor who took office on december 1st 2018 Has claimed many times in many official speeches that mexicans are culturally immune themselves to drug addiction

[21:34] Hmm, man, that idiot's got about a three watt light bulb in his head Meanwhile, it's time to talk about water again. You know, I talk enough about water purifiers Nano and microplastics floating in the stuff And of course one of the things I keep hammering on over and over again Is that once you move down to latin america get that plan b going try to get a place? That's not on municipal water because it's being reported now that practically all municipal water supplies throughout latin america. That's city water The taps are being rationed. They're not flowing 24 7 Now, of course, you've heard me talk about this before that if you're on city water and you have a cistern on your roof You're probably okay You never even noticed that the city water has been cut off a couple hours a day every day You won't notice that if you've got a cistern because cisterns collecting water at night

[22:21] When of course businesses are closed and everyone's asleep and no one's using the water supply So the water supply at the city source builds up pressure again So by early morning your cistern is filled up again And it's got an auxiliary pump and a water pressure sensor And during the day when it detects there's no water pressure water from the cistern automatically switches in and you don't even notice it And that's why it's understandable when occasionally I get an email from a gringo saying hey, johnny I've been living in latin america for a year now and you're wrong my city water my municipal water never goes out Well, congratulations bud, but just look on your roof If you've got a cistern your city water drops out a couple hours a day whether you know it or not The fact is there'd be no reason to bear the expense of a cistern unless you did have an inconsistent water pressure problem

[23:09] Of course, you've also heard me say that there really is no water problem in latin america It's a large government maintenance problem. Once again Since it's been reported countless times that around half of the water in municipal water systems is lost Due to bad pipes deterioration leaks, etc So instead of the government doing the maintenance the people suffer And if you thought all the bad news about water shortages is just coming out of mexico city. Well, you're wrong Just this week. It's reported that bogota columbia's capital city started a severe water rationing program as of last thursday I'm getting this from a columbian newspaper now It says bogota and dozens of surrounding towns have been divided into nine different zones

[23:54] with municipal water being cut off for 24 hours at a time in each zone On a rotational basis. They'll be rotating the planned outages every 10 days The measure it says will affect nine million people So here's how it goes. If you live in bogota every nine days, you will have no water for 24 hours They've also stated that most cisterns will not be able to keep up with that Leaving it says residents to believe they will have to start cozying up to friends across town To access drinking water when their 24 hour shutoff period comes By the way, it says here the mayor has called for a behavioral change in the population to help sustain And guarantee there's water enough for everyone saying get this and he's serious

[24:42] It's time to double up with friends and relatives while you shower By the way, there's a comment section here and one guy writes I live in bogota the real problem here is the bad and aging infrastructure and lack of maintenance and development Like that's new news He says years of neglect and corruption plague bogota's infrastructure systems Another guy writes in and says I sat on two different water and sewer district boards in columbia And one of them had so little money for maintenance There was an estimated loss of two million gallons of water a month just from underground leaky pipes And it's even worse in mexico. Check this out Title of the article and it just came out yesterday angry farmers in once lush mexican states target

[25:31] Avocado farms that suck up way too much water It says as one of mexico's worst droughts drags on angry farmers have been taking direct action against avocado orchards and berry fields On commercial farms that are drying up the streams in the mountains around mexico city It says the extensive use of water for the country's export crops led by avocados Are drying up all the water sources for consumer use so in recent days Farmers and activists have been organizing teams to go into the mountains and rip out water pumps that tap into private irrigation holding ponds Around mexico city in the last 10 years organizers say the streams the springs and the rivers have been drying up mostly because the water Has been captured mainly for use by avocados and berry farms They estimate that there are around 850 private plastic lined ponds constantly filled by tapping rivers in and around the area

[26:26] Now, of course the drug cartels have gotten into the act because they make money from illegal logging and extort money from avocado growers So as a result when the activists cut water supplies, they suffer threats get kidnapped and beat even killed by cartel members Activists say they're running a serious risk But if they don't get access to that water they and their farm animals will die too If you were to see it for yourself, you'd see the lake and stream situations are so bad due to drought deforestation Sediment buildup and heavy demands from avocado and berry growers It's been estimated that 90 of the boats that used to fish and ferry tourists around the nearby lakes are now out of service For example nearby lake kuchico one of the largest freshwater lakes in mexico is now Nearly dry with mexico city on water rationing too

[27:14] There are a hundred different tanker trucks taking water from nearby lakes running back and forth to the city filling people's cisterns for a price All right. There's more to this article But you get the point knowing all that it begs the question for all you people living in mexico How's that plan c coming? You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america If you need some help with your own plan b we can schedule a one-on-one phone or skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week-long expat insider seminar in central america Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan b. Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com