#1278 – The Expat Files: Body Odor, Hygiene, and Cultural Insights

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you ex-pad wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started All right Just another reminder if you're seriously interested in coming to my next expat insider seminar Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com and I'll put you on the shortlist Remember it's a week long and we're tentatively looking at February 2024. All right, let's talk about something

[00:49] I don't think we've ever spoken about before Those crazy weird sometimes eye-opening smells that inevitably hit you when you're traveling through foreign countries of course, you know, it's not just different food smell and the different smells associated with different flora and fauna and Garbage, there's also the human smells the so-called BO You know, I'll never forget about 25 years ago or so I read a big thick book about Cortez and his conquest of the Aztecs and I remember in the book the Aztecs saying Cortez his men smelled so bad that some of the indigenous people would actually gag when they got near them and That the indigenous women these conquistadors to enslave were so repulsed by the way these guys smelled They'd put various plants herbs and incense up their noses when they hadn't a counter with these guys

[01:41] Like you may have heard people do during a war when there's lots of dead bodies around stick various things like cigarette butts up Their nose so they don't have to smell it. The thing is back then during the indigenous Aztec days They had plenty of water and they'd take a bath or wash up every day. But Cortez's boys the conquistadores almost never Anthropologists even found that the skulls of the Spaniards Showed that their teeth and the bones around their teeth were in terrible shape meaning the ones that lived to old age Which was probably around 50 had terrible gum disease what our parents and grandparents would have called pyrea So you can imagine what kind of killer holotosis these guys had Whereas the indigenous folks the Aztecs when anthropologists looked at their skulls

[02:27] It seemed only the wealthy and royal classes had bad teeth Surely because they were on a different diet than the regular folks lots of sugar Lots of sweets which were prized and expensive way back when the kind of stuff only the wealthy people and the royals could afford Anyway, the topic is BO Believe it or not a recent list of the 20 countries with the worst body order has been compiled It came about from a very large reddit survey very interesting reading some surprising stuff in there, too That's why I brought it up and why I'm gonna hit the highlights now So then how did they do that survey and how did they compile the data? Well, they asked this question which countries have you visited and which ones have the worst body order? Apparently those people surveyed would have had to have visited at least ten countries and then ranked them for obvious BO

[03:18] That way they could disqualify people who said they only let's say visited three countries in their life For example, Australia, Canada and Italy and the Italians stunk the most that would not be a good representative sample A person had to be more worldly than that to be part of the survey Now if a person visited at least ten countries, then the data had relevance. So without further ado do Let's talk about some of the principal results that came from this stink survey to stink or not to stink. That is the question Here's the countdown starting with country number 20 Vietnam You know, I heard tales like that from some of my buddies and my buddy's friends who went to NAM and came back You know in the 60s and the 70s during that infamous war

[04:04] In fact one of my buddies who was a bass player I replaced when he got drafted into NAM He came back and said yeah pretty stinky over there But then again, he said us soldiers in the bush We sweated our asses off and sometimes he didn't get a shower for three or four days either So we could be just as ripe as they were sometimes worse All right. Number 19 the Philippines By the way in this survey and if you want to copy send me an email the expat files at gmail.com It turns out when they list each country They also list a paragraph and the reason is why there might be an intrinsic or existential BL problem You know cause and effect for example Country number 18 on the body odor list is Nepal The reason given is that deodorant is not a widespread commodity in Nepal

[04:50] In fact, it says deodorant is only available in higher income areas and the common people don't use it at all Number 17 on the BO list is Iran. In fact, it says the world Stinkiest guy is probably an Iranian named Amu Haji 80 years old who resides in the isolated town of DJ in South Iran according to the Tehran Times He hasn't had a bath in 60 years and despises water Although it says there's a guru in India named the Kalish Singh Running a close second as the stinkiest guy in the world He's 69 years old lives in the holy city of varnisee in India He's a guru a holy man who hasn't paid since 1974 around 50 years It said he stopped taking baths and cleaning himself on his wedding day

[05:40] Hmm number 16 on a BO list Saudi Arabia number 15 Turkey Now the stink data on Turkey is pretty interesting. In fact, there was a big international clamor on Twitter back in 2010 turns out an American basketball player named Danny Granger said something on his Twitter blog Something that really pissed off the entire Turkish population turns out for the world basketball championship He traveled to Turkey and according to his blog He said that Turks don't use deodorant and smell like dead donkeys It was read by millions and caused quite a diplomatic incident Alright country number 14 on the worst BO list Iraq number 13 Indonesia Though as it turns out there is some headway and recognition of that problem being made in Indonesia

[06:28] In fact, it says the owner of the newest motorcycle sharing firm Iris Walendi believes he's discovered a novel strategy for increasing sales by employing less smelly drivers Turns out they hire people and grade Applicants for the job while they stand with their arms out in front of a fan that replicates the headwind of a motorcycle ride They just don't hire people whose perspiration and underarm odor are obnoxious So a for effort right? All right stinky country number 12 Thailand number 11 Cambodia By the way, if you think this is a biased survey that Americans think everyone else stinks, but they don't well I'm sure you've heard or read somewhere that people from other countries think we smell we have orders. I

[07:19] Can always tell when an American came in the room even with their eyes closed. There was a certain smell Which is why I guess number 10 on our most smelly country list is the USA Surprise surprise, of course, we all know the USA is a melting pot of every single different culture So maybe that's to be expected But it is surprising and according to a survey by the worldwide research and opinion business you gov Well, guess what? There's another good reason America ranks number 10 on the BO list Because as it turns out young Americans Generations Y and Z it turns out take fewer baths and use less deodorant than their older counterparts Those baby boomers and Gen Xers all the deodorant firms have marketing data to prove that so if you thought this BO survey

[08:08] Was biased in favor of the American culture. You'd be wrong It seems younger generations are getting stinkier and stinkier moms and dads What are you teaching your kids? In fact, according to that you gov survey four in ten Americans That's 40% between the ages of 18 and 24 say they haven't used Antiperspirant or deodorant in the past month That's a pretty revolt and development Although as you listeners probably know already Deodorants are made of synthetic chemicals with the very long names and thus have their own problems That's said as for me I personally don't buy any deodorant that has aluminum or aluminum Chlorhydrate in it. That's what probably 98% of deodorants have in them to block the perspiration

[08:54] Yep, first principles blocking the sweat pores nice idea right and practical except for the fact that Aluminum is toxic to the human body. It's not a component in any of our biochemical systems Yet it is found in the brains of nearly everyone who's died with Alzheimer's Whereas a hundred years ago. They never found it in people's brains because it wasn't ubiquitous in our pots and pans utensils cans containers and Deodorants truth is you can find deodorants that don't have aluminum in them though They are more expensive and they don't work quite as well, but that's another story In fact one gringo expat friend of mine has both of them in his bathroom cabinet He's got the expensive natural one that he uses almost every day And he has the one with the aluminum that really blocks the perspiration

[09:41] For when he has to go to a formal party or gig and doesn't want to suffer ring around the armpit in mixed company All right. Number nine on the worldwide bo list is australia Turns out according to a canadian mcgill university study australia's performance in the area of hygiene and grooming Falls well below the world average Number eight the cheque republic And one of the reasons given there is that more than 50 percent of adult cheques are moderate to heavy cigarette smokers number five russia Figured that would come up on the list, huh? The reasons given there are that russians do not change their clothing every day and bathe much less frequently than westerners number six bangladesh number five pakistan

[10:27] Which by the way is one of the top producers exporters and consumers of spices which explains a lot Number four, which may be a surprise to you, but it's not to me germany Now being that i'm of german extraction. I visited germany quite a few times and I have to say in all my life The stinkiest individual I ever came across a person who wasn't like a street vagabond. Anyway He was a hundred percent german. I met him in berlin I'm talking about how workaday person just doing his job But stinking to high heaven and I don't suppose he even knew it. That's the problem, right people who stink usually don't know it He was a 30 something german bell boy I was stuck in an elevator with for about five floors in a high-end german hotel. I was staying at I mean look this guy was so rancid

[11:13] I almost passed out in the elevator from holding my breath Even now looking back on it. I could picture the incident clearly I can almost catch a whiff By the way in a poll done by global research site onepole.com They asked 15 000 women from 20 different countries to rate guys from different countries as lovers in bed By the way, if you want this study, I could send you this one, too Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com. Anyway, turns out in this 15 000 women poll German men were considered the world's worst lovers. Why? They were considered too smelly too odiferous Whereas english lovers came in second not because they're smelly but because they were considered too lazy in bed

[12:02] By the way, just a teaser here Do you know which country came in number one as having the best male lovers according to 15 000 women polled? Yeah, that old latin lover cliche just may not be a cliche as it rears its head again. No pun intended Well, it's spain All right, bo country number three France well, you know, it had to be up there somewhere, right according to research by the daily star Almost 50 percent of french men and women don't take a daily bath or shower With one-fourth of french men and women saying they take a shower about every two days 11 percent every three days and eight percent only once every four days to a week By the way, according to the journal scientific american scientists have discovered a gene called abcc 11 Which determines whether people produce wet or dry earwax. So what's this got to do with anything?

[12:53] Interestingly enough people who produce dry earwax also lack a chemical in their armpits that bacteria feed on to cause underarm order so If you have dry earwax You have this gene and it's the key gene that is basically the single determinant of whether you do produce underarm order or not Turns out a lot of people produce reams of underarm sweat with no odor others produce little sweat with lots of odor All depends on the net gene. Just check your earwax folks By the way, I have that article too. If you want to read it. I have all these articles Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com Which begs the question do you have smelly genes or not? Turns out though and most people don't want to hear this whole cultures and races have smelly genes

[13:43] Though with a country like the u.s. It's a mixed bag All right number two on the human bo list. It's not exactly a country. It's a continent africa And number one, have you guessed it yet? India According to indian surveys a significant majority of respondents do not use deodorants or do not use them regularly And blame the expensive price of the products because india has one of the highest rates of pyrene in the world So deodorants are a luxury item Also, if you've ever been to india or been to an indian restaurant, you know, the spices and cuisine have an overpowering order Hey, I like indian food. I lived in england a while and so i'd go to a good indian restaurant once a week at least By the way brits will tell you white brits all brits will tell you their number one favorite fast food is indian curry carryout

[14:30] Where as you know in the rest of the first world, it's all about fast food processed greasy burger chains The reality indian food is definitely better for your health. The brits know it they're used to it. Whereas americans They'll never learn by the way as a world traveler myself Some of the smelliest human beings i've ever met were taxi or uber drivers In fact on many uber trips where you rate the guy I put down the guy stinks Does it matter? I doubt it. I'm talking about that toxic mixture of halitosis and bo I say there ought to be a discount for pain and suffering So that's the list the top 20 countries rated by bo So why did I even go through all that except to have a little outrageous fun? Well, because if you were paying attention, you'd notice not a single latin american country showed up on that list. Not one

[15:18] Yet latin america is a hugely popular destination for tourism Now as far as bo and other nasty odors i've encountered myself here in latin america as you long-time listeners know in a past show I'd mentioned i've talked to latino dentists about the prevalence of halitosis in men and every last one of them will admit That latin american men almost never floss the women. Yes, the men know well gay men do but latin american men They just can't be bothered macho men don't floss I think that should be a t-shirt or a bumper sticker macho men don't floss along with a photo of a toothless macho man But as far as actual bo I've noticed that even in the hottest latin american countries where people are working daily in the hot sun on roofs foreign concrete

[16:04] Digging trenches, etc. I've noticed latin americans don't even seem to sweat that much It says gringos expats and tourists that have trouble with the heat Funny thing too when you're at low elevations is the gringos and expats who bitch when the air conditioning goes out Not latinos. They just grin and bear it Speaking of good and bad personal hygiene One of the problems you see down here a lot in latin america and it doesn't seem to happen up in the states much at all is People coming down with amoebic dysentery and man, is that nasty though? You can knock it out in two or three days with a couple of simple pills that every pharmacist has on hand And you know a friend of mine who's an emergency room doc here in latin america A lot of you expat insider guys met him at aurora hospital in guatemala city He gives a tour there when I bring my seminar people through

[16:50] Anyway, I asked him what's all this with so many people having parasites and amoebas? He said that's easy bad habits. Like for example Guys, especially guys licking their fingers when they turn pages in a book or flipping pages in a newspaper He said just go to mcdonald's or burger king or taco bell Every morning you'll see the newspaper sitting on the counter where the people are reading they'll pass that newspaper around So a dozen or so or a couple of dozen people will get to read that paper during the day And it's paper to burger to fingers to mouth paper to burger to fingers to mouth Just look around when you're at a fast food restaurant people lick their fingers He said that's a bad and unhygienic habit licking your fingers when they've got food residue on them

[17:36] Worse yet is people mostly guys again licking their fingers to count money That's an even worse unhygienic habit and though i'm seeing less and less americans engaging in that gross habit It doesn't seem to have diminished here in latin america, especially with the old timers Then again, they ain't dead yet and let's not even talk about the bathrooms leaving the toilet seats up for one when you flush Worse yet guys with beards They don't know it, but they've still got pieces of the last meal and even yesterday morning's breakfast in there And guys with beards are always touching stroking or scratching their faces, too Even if you don't have facial hair try counting the number of times you touch your face or eyes you'll lose count And women they use the same makeup and hair brushes over and over again and let friends and relatives borrow and use them, too

[18:22] By the way, here's something i've noticed There's a huge correlation believe it or not To what a person pays for rent and the number of hours in a day his municipal water supply is turned on or off The lower the rent the more hours in the day it's turned off and the slower the flow or volume The slower the flow the less hand washing and speaking of poor hygiene here in lower middle class and even some middle class homes They have a bucket of water next to the sink. That's the rinse water for dishes It sits there all day and it gets rather murky As the day wears on and more and more dishes are rinsed in it And then the plates and forks and knives are set in a rack to dry But what's the microscopic dry layer that remains after they're air dried? Oh, and by the way, you might think i'm a bit anal and a bit of a clean freak

[19:07] But the thing that grosses me out Does this sound a bit anal blowing out birthday cake candles, you know what you're really saying, right? Go ahead blow your spit all over this cake and then cut it up and let everyone take a piece of it You know a while back I was talking about that birthday cake thing with ex pat eddie He's had a few restaurants in his day And when people have birthdays, you know, the staff goes over with a piece of cake and sing happy birthday better yet a cupcake says eddie Now that's hygienic a cupcake for everyone. Maybe that's why they invented cupcakes So all you do is blow your spit on your own piece of cake Are you grossed out yet? How about this? Have you been to a restaurant or even at a party with lots of kids around? Some kid will always have a snap bubble hanging from his nose trying to touch you or someone else with the sticky fingers

[19:54] Reminds me of this kid from primary school. Mr. J. H You know who you are a kid who unabashedly would eat his boogers, especially in winter time You know in chicago you get that post nasal drip occasionally in that cold cold weather Man that kid jh was so gross He was the guy in my class even the bullies wouldn't mess with him for fear of being smeared How about you when you were in grade school or junior high? Who was your booger man? And why was it always a guy? I never heard of a girl doing that always a guy But we were talking about parasites and amoebas, right? Again, this might sound anal But it drives me nuts when I see a waiter bring a plate of food with his thumb looped over the edge Right on the eating surface You know waiters will often do that when they're carrying two or three plates at a time

[20:41] Sometimes with the thumbnail digging right into the rice or mashed potatoes Hungry yet? Oh, and here's another super unhygienic thing that gives me the creeps Like when you see a mom in a restaurant or a store somewhere spit on the hanky and wipe that dirt or the ice cream off their kids face with it That bother you or just me And why is it always a lady a mom who does that never a dad? Yeah, this might be too anal too, but that's why I don't have a gym membership Sweaty people touching and sitting on everything Uh-uh. I'm not into that besides that gyms always smell like fresh ass Even when I had gold's gym as a sponsor for one of my radio shows for four years They gave me a free membership. I only went for special events like when lou Ferrigno made appearances

[21:27] I'd emcee the events, but I wouldn't sit on any of the equipment I can't imagine spending 20 30 40 even 50 bucks a month to sit on a seat That's got someone else's or maybe 10 someone else's sweaty ass prints Am I too anal? Probably that goes for going to the cinema too. I almost never go One reason those cloth cinema seats are saturated with sticky permanent organic stains And how about when people come over or you go over to their house and they set their kids or themselves? On the kitchen countertop sometimes your kitchen countertop Or people who kiss dogs on the face or let them lick you in the face I know I know their saliva is probably cleaner in yours. I believe that's been proven, but still, you know, I've had dogs

[22:15] I like dogs but even worse people who let their cat or dog sleep in bed with them Especially since the last thing you do before you go to bed is let the dog outside to poop And where does he go to poop or pee in that yard that's got weeks or even months worth of poop landmines Then you let him in and he jumps right up on that bed and snuggles with you, right? Thing is i've always had dogs They did their thing outside too They had a doggy door But they were never allowed on the second floor of the house where the bedrooms were Plus when they came in the house to the doggy door They'd sit there and wait for the signal to progress any farther into the house And that signal was a wipe on each paw from a fresh towel. Yep. My dogs were very well behaved In fact latino visitors who saw my dogs in action Even my cleaning ladies and maintenance guy couldn't believe the dogs were that obedient though since in latin america

[23:05] I never saw latino's dog trained up beyond being housebroken. That's about the limit So for a latino to see any kind of obedience training in a dog at all, it seemed to them a minor miracle Oh, and here's a conundrum. Maybe you guys and gals out there Know the answer to this I've had girlfriends and sisters and my mother and practically all the women folk They say it's rude to use a toothpick in public or in a restaurant So then why do they give out toothpicks in restaurants? Most restaurants have dispensers with a hundred or so toothpicks in them sitting right on the table But you're not supposed to use one in public. It's rude. Never could figure that one out Oh and it's a guy thing too using toothpicks, right? Can't remember ever seeing a lady use one Certainly not here in latin america. All right. Here's an email from jacklin. She says johnny. I know you're from chicago

[23:54] I teach in the chicago public schools and why i'm not dead or pronounced crazy yet. I don't know However, I have a sister who's a much freer spirit than I am She has lived and taught in costa rica And we talk on what's up quite a bit and compare notes Now johnny, I know you don't approve of costa rica, but for her She considered it a great experience to get a job in a foreign country Her big takeaway is how well she is treated there by the kids and the parents and the general public A triple win if you ask me She tells me the parents of her students treat her with so much respect almost like a dignitary They invite her to dinner and weekend events. They truly appreciate what she does and show it She teaches at one of those bilingual helicopter schools. You've also talked about johnny

[24:40] Anyway, one day when she was teaching science She mentioned in the class that someday she wanted to have her own bees and make her own honey And guess what a week later a parent from a kid in her class showed up at her school Saying he had a farm with some beehives and was going to send a worker over to her little house And set her up with a few colonies of bees and the materials to get her started My sister is now a teacher and a beekeeper with four colonies In a year or so. She says she'll have her own little boutique honey brand too that she will be selling on the internet Come on like something like that. Whatever happened in a million years to a teacher in chicago or anywhere else in the usa I mentioned we trade stories after hearing a few of mine. She told me she'll never teach in the us

[25:29] She's also heard many of the same stories from other american teachers who taught in the states and have escaped to costa rica Teaching school there as well They all know the horror stories of teaching in the us The lack of respect the insults from the kids the rudeness and unaccountability the chaos the disinterested parents The infighting between the district the teachers and the administrators the politics The downside of course is my sister gets about a third of the pay of a public school teacher in the united states A deal breaker for me, but my sister seems very happy and has enough money to travel a bit locally That is she doesn't make enough to travel back and forth to the states But what price can you put on happiness and another thing? She says that at parent teachers conferences every kid has a parent that shows up sometimes both parents show

[26:17] She says at the last parent teacher conference. She had five personal sunday dinner invites from parents And at christmas she got wrapped presents from nearly every single kid. I thought she's got to be exaggerating But no, she sent me the pictures Anyhow, my free-spirited sister isn't married and has no kids So she was easily able to accept a teaching job out of the country I would have loved to have done so too when I was a young ideologue teacher But i'm so burnt out now. I can only hope I can last till retirement By the way, johnny most of the teaching staff here in my school in chicago Are burnt out too more than half are either seeing a shrink or are on anti-depressants I'm only 48 and on two prescriptions myself

[27:04] Anyhow johnny, I just thought you'd like to hear a story with a happy ending for my sister That is as for me as they say i'm living for the weekend Just putting in my time till retirement by the way, I both love and hate your show signed jacklin PS I started listening to your show because my sister in costa rica told me to tune in She says you have a pretty big following in costa rica, even though you don't recommend it She says you're an acquired taste a podcaster. We love to hate but still We keep listening You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america If you need some help with your own plan b we can schedule a one-on-one phone or skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week-long expat insider seminar in central america

[27:52] Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan b. Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com No spammos