#1098 – The Expat Files: Practical Tips for Living and Working in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now that I wonder Hello there all you ex-pat wannabes I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America the show that tells you just what it's like to live Workplay and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started You know, I like to offer tips and warn you about mistakes me and other expats have made so you don't fall into the same hole and Here's one. I think you'll thank me for later Now I've mentioned in past shows. It's a very very good idea to get a solar hot water heater

[00:47] Once you finally end up in a place here in Latin America, that's yours, you know, if you're renting you're not gonna get one Right. Well, you could but you'll be bumping heads with the landlord Who will more than likely go for it, but when you finally leave your rental contracts over He might not let you take it with you or more likely he'll let you take it But then he'll say you damaged a roof and then you won't get your deposit back You do remember that show I did about never getting your deposit back here in Latin America, don't you? Oh and about moving those things around from house or apartment to apartment. You can do that I'm talking about those standards solar hot water heaters. They're all basically the same the inexpensive ones. Anyway, they don't work at all We've got snow and ice but here in warm climates, man, do they kick ass and they're made in China What ain't these days? Anyway, as mentioned you can't move them from house to house

[01:33] It's possible, but they're very fragile the big holding tanks not fragile But there'll be like a dozen or so long glass tubes the solar collectors attached to that tank Those things are extremely fragile when you're moving them once they're installed no problem at all But I have to tell you the last solar hot water heater I bought about I'd say two years ago now There were two installers and one of the guys broke one of the glass tubes as they were lifting it up on the roof Which stalled the project till the next day because they had to go back down to the warehouse and fish went out I bet the bus docked that guys pay so yes You can move those things from one residence to the next but you shouldn't do it yourself You should call the installer up and make a deal with them have them disassemble it repack it

[02:19] Bring it to the second site and assemble it again might cost you a hundred bucks or so But it's worth it by the way those cheap, but killer solar hot water heaters cost around a thousand to fifteen hundred bucks They come in three sizes 40 60 and 80 gallon. I always recommend get the 80 gallon one. You won't regret it Alright, that's one tip. But here's a more important one You've heard me say over and over again Latino construction workers and builders like to skimp on materials like for example Downsizing pipes tubing and electrical wire they do it whether you want them to or not like using cheap paint They're used to it it comes natural to them and the same thing happens when they're setting up these solar hot water heaters and Here's the mistake that contractors almost always make when setting up these things and they don't even get that what they're doing is setting

[03:04] You up for future problems. They use half inch PVC pipe for the water connections instead of three quarter inch now The price difference between using those two different kinds of pipe for this kind of situation is about five bucks But the difference in functionality is huge. So go ahead splurge spend the extra five bucks You'll be glad you did get the three quarter inch plastic PVC tube instead of the half inch that they'll install if you don't Say anything and don't let them talk you out of it It'll make a huge difference in your water pressure and water flow and how fast that hot water gets to your shower head or kitchen I mean look you don't want to wait all day for hot water when you're in the shower and you don't want it to dribble like A geezer with prostate problems, but it just might no be no turning back once you've installed half inch plastic pipe other than three quarter inch

[03:51] Of course your solar water heater is going to be on the roof But the farther it is away the longer the run of the pipe that is to where you really want your hot water to be Like in your shower or your kitchen sink the longer the run and the smaller diameter the plastic tubes that feed it the more the water pressure and flow will be restricted and Remember too there are enough built-in restrictions within that hot water unit itself remember those dozen or so glass tubes I was talking about well the water has to flow through all of those and that restricts pressure and flow you're stuck with that But you don't want to make things worse by having half inch pipe a skinny pipe like that running half the length of your house And if you're thinking more is better why not go with one inch pipe? Well, you could do that, but it won't help one bit over three quarter inch That's been proven time and time again three quarter is plenty now If you're just not handy and never played with those kinds of tubes and pipes before that half inch means half inch inside diameter

[04:42] And three quarters three quarter one inch one inch Oh, and if you run into an install it it says wait a minute half inch will work All right, don't argue. It's your installation tell them you want three quarter. That's it Oh, and by the way unlike the way water pipes are installed up in the first world up in the states down here They don't use any insulation wrap around pipes and tubes at all basically It's unnecessary because things don't freeze down here and that's pretty much the only reason they use the stuff up north by you And since they don't put insulation around pipes here in Latin America that saves you some dough, too But there's one little exception when you install an air conditioning unit the tubes and pipes included in the package are insulated I'm talking about the most universally used kind of air conditioners here in Latin America called mini split air conditioners and man Those things are great. They're super efficient

[05:29] They really put out and they cost only around five or six hundred bucks complete the generic models do anyway You get a Samsung LG or Panasonic could be a grand Oh, and they're quiet too, but remember there's two parts to the system the part that's in your room and the part That's outside generally on the roof that contains your fan condenser and compressor and when you buy one of those things and take it out of the box you'll see it includes a 20 foot or so length of three-quarter inch diameter copper tubing wrapped in a kind of black spongy Insulation and in this case that insulation really helps because if it wasn't insulated the copper tubing would be directly in the Sun At least part of the day and remember with air conditioning you're trying to cool things right and copper is a great conductor of heat and cold So that's pretty much the only place in Latin America where insulation really counts. That's why they include it in the box from the factory

[06:18] So they don't use insulation on water tubes here in Latin America But if they did it would help You know keep the heat in the pipes on those long runs inside and outside the house But not a whole hell of a lot not that much to make a big difference The expense of the insulation is not worth the benefit you receive at least that's been true historically But as energy prices go up that will enter into the equation So in the future you can expect pipe insulation to start popping up and to drive home the fact that in Latin America Insulation is rarely used you might notice if you have any friends or live in a high-rise residential tower yourself Let's say in a Latin American city. That's not in the altiplano In other words you live in a place where you have air conditioning You know every gringo and expat that lives on the coast has a beach house or lives at lower

[07:06] Elevations has air conditioning of course there are always exceptions But most all gringos and expats have air conditioning at least in their bedrooms. Well, it's a funny thing I've noticed when I had places in residential towers or when I rented an Airbnb in a residential tower Many times when I get up in the morning or get up in the middle of the night to hit the bathroom or whatever I'd walk across the tile floor barefoot, and I'd hit some cold spots sometimes some real Unnatural cold spots and that just meant the person living in the floor below me had his air conditioning running all night So he was cooling his air and the floor and walls around him, too Without insulation you pay to heat the air around you and the walls floors and ceilings, too It's a terrific waste of energy But it is what it is same thing happens when you turn on your air conditioning you cool

[07:54] The adjacent walls floors and ceilings of your neighbors, too However, the good news is that in the last few years air conditioners have gotten really efficient with constant improvements all the time and Really cheap for the technology you get but believe me if you don't live in the altiplano if you live on the coasts or in low Elevation regions you're almost certain to have an air conditioner or two Oh and note the electricity for that and your pool pump will be your two biggest expenses on your electric bill Now porn middle-class Latinos almost never have air conditioners And if they do they'll mostly remain unused because they're so expensive to run though upper middle class and wealthy Latinos will always install them obviously because they can afford AC and the higher electric bills, too

[08:40] The thing is if you're not in the altiplano if you live in lower elevations or have a beach house Unless you have an AC unit or units that are less than four years old. You'll find those older AC units big energy hogs Here's another thing I've noticed if you do have air conditioning That means you're not living in the altiplano if you have guests stay over you'll find out in a hurry if your visitors Have air conditioning in their own houses Here's what I've noticed those who are not used to having air conditioning. They have no idea how to efficiently use the thing They'll scale it down to the lowest temperature make it work The absolute hardest and of course use the most energy leave the bathroom door open and a couple of windows, too Oh, it'll cool. All right, but that means all night the thing will never turn off It'll run constantly what that tells me about the guests is that they have no experience with air conditioners at all

[09:28] And there's a huge chance they have not got a working air conditioning unit at their own place They'd find out in a hurry if they did that at home Crank the things to maximum cool and left a few windows and doors open their electric bills would be in the stratosphere Speaking of electric bills Have you noticed that energy costs are spiking up all over the world with analysts predicting $5 a gallon gas throughout the United States Later this winter. I understand in California. It's already seven bucks a gallon Have you been reading about that huge energy crisis in Europe right now? Their heating costs have doubled in some places even tripled this season putting the blame on the supply chain crisis Instigated by the covid it crap. If you believe that I beg to differ follow the money instead Anyway, those of you guys and gals out there who've gone solar You're looking pretty brilliant and clairvoyant these days, aren't you and as for everyone else out there? What are you waiting for?

[10:20] Yeah, I know. I know if you're a renter going solar is nuts. However, if you're an owner again What are you waiting for? And of course if you're living here in Latin America or have your plan be in action down here Going solar is the best of all worlds because Whatever solar system you may have sized for your place up in the states You can cut that cost in half when doing a solar installation here in Latin America. That's just part of the good news Now, of course, I've received emails from people saying Johnny I've done the calculation and the paybacks 10 12 15 years Whatever sometimes even 20 if you're going all out and getting Tesla brand name stuff Yep, I get emails from people saying Johnny given the expensive outlay and the long payback. It's just not worth it Well, listen up because you're working under very mistaken assumptions. There's something wrong with your numbers

[11:07] You ain't cipher in right the big error is when people do those calculations They use the present cost of energy and didn't we just lay some facts on you that said they're projecting gas prices to go up 50% this year and in Europe energy costs have doubled even tripled in just this last year, too What that means is for example If you've done the calculations to go completely off the grid and your payback is 15 years and you used today's or last month's Energy prices if energy prices double and you've just heard that's happening right now Your payback for going solar is not 15 years if that's what your calculations show but seven and a half And if let's say in the next couple years energy prices double again and they're projected to do so You know suddenly your payback for going solar is half of that seven and a half year number, which is less than four

[11:57] Anyway to make it simpler That'd be like putting all the money you spent on a solar system in the bank at 25% interest per year Anyone would be nuts not to take that deal Are you getting this is it sink it in and we haven't even hit on the subject of the paybacks on electric cars using your very Own home solar charging station, but we'll leave that for another day because I do get emails You know from people saying this energy stuff and solar is kind of boring. But where were we? Oh, yeah, we were originally talking about hot water in tube sizes regarding the installation of a solar hot water heater All right. Here's another tip. I wish I would have known when I first got down here to Latin America Of course back then there was no YouTube podcasts internet iPhones Imagine what that was like landing in Latin America with no internet. No Skype fake book. What's up or signal?

[12:46] Hey, you take the good with the bad, right? Imagine that no anti social media back then people had conversations in person and had to look each other in the eye while speaking So when I arrived there were no jabs no co-videa cards. No lockdowns. No sociopathic Dr. Falsy spewing candy coated lies either no Craigslist Amazon ways Google Maps eBay or Google Translate Hmm. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Don't get the wrong idea here by now I think you know how much I hate social media and Google But when that stuff first came out and it was the only game in town besides ask Jeeves remember that Some 20 years ago or so all that new tech was a godsend to us living overseas Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Those of us living in Central and South America aren't actually living overseas There's no see between us and the US

[13:31] Anyway, social media and Google started out on the right foot until they morphed into the big pharma big government data collection Surveillance state on top of that imagine coming down not knowing a lick of Spanish with phone calls back to the states Before things like Skype came along before Skype that was pre 2000 calls back to the states were a buck a minute. All right now where were we? Oh, yeah talking about plumbing tubes and tips as soon as you rent or buy a place Get yourself a garbage disposal and have it installed in the kitchen sink Don't skimp and get the half horsepower model either because it's cheaper get the three-quarter horse model You won't be sorry a bigger motor like that will never stall and probably never burn out No matter what your cleaning lady shoves down its throat. Oh, you'll like this biggest cleaning lady garbage disposal disaster story

[14:19] Well back in the day my cleaning lady dropped her flip phone down the garbage disposal, man What a racket sparks flu, but it was a three-quarter horse brand name in sinker Raider unit took the licking kept on ticket Now I'm suggesting a kitchen garbage disposal because you've heard me say before they undersized tubing here in Latin America That means your kitchen sink is gonna clog a lot. Oh and do teach your cleaning lady how to use it She'll be scared shitless at first Because her only experience with garbage disposals is seeing some guy lose a hand down one in a B grade slasher movie That said you still should teach her. It'll save you a lot of disgusting plunger moments enough said about that next We'll take an email from mr. Tommy. He asks a question. I get all the time it keeps coming up. So here goes He says hey there Johnny. Thanks for the interesting and informative podcast. I'm 40 have a wife and three kids

[15:10] We're closing on a property in Baja, California this week things are getting indeed quite toxic stateside Do you have any advice on gainful or good employment south of the border if this is already covered in previous episodes? Please let me know. Thanks signed mr. Tommy Well, mr. Tommy I've hit on that subject and past shows probably a hundred times That means at least once for every 10 podcasts and my response is pretty much always a version of the same thing Unless when you come down you already have an internet business They really are the best kind for many reasons you can do it from your home You don't need government permission no permits No inspections quite possibly no taxes either and unless you're doing zoom calls You don't even have to suit up or dress nice You can run it in your pajamas your underwear or buck naked by the way

[15:58] Did you know the buck in buck naked doesn't refer to a male deer it refers to a male native American Indian also known as if you Remember your John Wayne movies as a buck go ahead look it up and see why Anyway, once you get down to Latin America, if you could pull off an internet business That's the way to go for one You don't need an office you can operate at home and with most internet businesses unless they get huge You don't even need very many extra employees possibly none In fact, I like to use the example of Bitcoin Dan who's living in Guatemala He's been running an internet business there ten years or so now from a little office He set up in the bedroom of his house He lives in a gated guarded subdivision in a really nice residential area dispersed amongst the coffee plantations about 20 minutes From Guatemala City going south on that famous Pan American highway the part of that highway called the road to El Salvador

[16:48] Because next stop El Salvador. Anyway, Bitcoin Dan's got an internet business He created the world's most used Genealogy program, you know what that is, right family trees and all that and for the last ten years ever since he's been living in Latin America He administers the whole thing out of his little office that he set up in one of the bedrooms of his house It's him and just two other employees working from their houses in Guatemala, too And Dan is to employees service get this three and a half million Clients with no specially installed business high-speed internet either He uses the usual suspect residential internet from internet provider Claro CL a ro of course He elected to have the highest speed though. Nothing out of the ordinary nothing you and I couldn't get I think he pays something like 70 bucks a month. So just think about that for a second

[17:37] He's got three and a half million customers to employees and he's running it all from a bedroom of his house in Guatemala Using regular residential internet. Meanwhile, I hear from expat Gonna bees and wannabees up in the States They say the following to me all the time. How is the internet down there in Latin America Johnny? I'm hearing that it sucks Well, I'll tell you some years ago It was spotty and oftentimes did suck and maybe if you're far far away from a cell tower way out in the boonies And when you look around you see you've got no neighbors You will have spotty and crappy internet But as long as you're living in the city or on the outskirts and not completely isolated the internet is pretty good Just ask Bitcoin Dan now as far as mr. Tommy's email. He says Johnny Do you have any advice on gating full good employment south of the border? Hey, I get that question ten times a week, too

[18:24] Well, there are lots of really low-end waiter waitress and bartending jobs However, the wages will be crap. You'll be making minimum wage Latin American style about three to four hundred bucks a month Even so those jobs are mostly available on or near the gringo tourist trail And with that kind of income you'll be going native in a hurry the exception being hooters girls who make two three even Four times minimum wage. Yep. That's right. Almost all big Latin American cities have a hooters franchise or two And of course, we all know life is fair. So they hire those girls because of their sparkling personalities, right? Anyway, mr. Tommy the jobs I've been describing are off the books. In other words, you'll get paid in cash Technically illegal. Yes, but half of Latin America works that way because here in Latin America You cannot get a legit job on the books unless you got permanent residency and with some Latin countries

[19:13] Even if you have permanent residency, you're not allowed to work Some countries have residency programs with exclusions like that But in every Latin country except Cuba and Venezuela, you can start a business and hire people you could be the boss It's totally legal to and governments love it That's true whether you have residency or not because every country wants full employment and of course businesses on the books that pay taxes That's why so many gringos and expats choose internet businesses You can make tons of money and yet be completely off the books now again I'm not suggesting you do anything illegal But just giving you a heads up on how so many gringos and expats down here make quite a bit of dough. Oh And mr. Tommy if by chance you do hook up with a corporate job here It's practically a guarantee. You're not gonna make first world wages Even if you work for a first world company like Siemens Dell Ford Hertz, etc, etc

[20:03] I mean look one of the reasons transnationals put up big offices here in the third world is because they don't have to pay first world Wages, it's called outsourcing. The thing is if you go to any big city here in Latin America You could check out the classified ads on the internet or in the newspaper. They still have newspapers here There are all kinds of job postings lots of jobs with transnationals to and embassy jobs But check out the fine print you'll see you have to speak Spanish fluently You got to be bilingual and I mean really bilingual you have to pass the TOEFL exam You know you have to have that certificate that says you're fluent in Spanish in both reading and writing So down here in Latin America as far as getting a corporate job if you're a gringo You do have the gringo advantage But only if you're good enough to pass a TOEFL exam in Spanish and still you might just make only half the money

[20:51] You'd make in the same kind of job up in the States However, as you know here in Latin America your money goes two or three times as far again provided You're not a lush or living close to or in gringo tourist areas Oh and don't forget there are always teaching jobs teaching at helicopter schools down here You don't even have to know any Spanish. Why because in those high-end helicopter schools The kids get half their classes in Spanish and half in English and being a gringo who speaks no Spanish That's perfectly fine because you'll just teach the English sessions However, that market too has been pretty much decimated during this covid it thing in all the lockdowns And even though schools are starting to open now, there's lots of uncertainty. So Schools are skittish about hiring. So who knows what your teaching prospects might be Oh, and I have to mention starting salary for a gringo expat who's teaching at a helicopter school is between

[21:39] 600 to a thousand bucks a month that'll hardly get you the tits of the Ritz lifestyle even down here But all that shouldn't discourage you because I found that some of the best jobs work situations and business opportunities gringos and expats just fall into Usually believe it or not by happenstance pure luck and serendipity. It happens all the time In fact, I can't tell you how many successful gringos in business have told me that never in a million years What they have predicted when living back up in the states That is the kind of job or business they would end up in once they'd been down in Latin America for a while In fact, it seems to be almost an unwritten rule unless again You've got your own internet business when you come down here eventually you'll end up in a business that never in a million years was on your radar before and it all happens all those ideas start flooding in and

[22:24] Perculating the more quality boots on the ground you get if you stay alert and keep your eyes open You start realizing there are many little business niches that are just begging to be filled A lot of them take very little capital to now as for me. I see business niches all the time I mention them to people once in a while In fact a lot of times you'll be sitting around with a bunch of gringos and expats and someone will say why don't they Have this or why don't they produce that or they notice glaring flaws or inefficiencies and existing businesses And they realize with just a few tweaks. They could be the killer competition But those kind of thoughts won't magically appear in your brain unless you've got some quality boots on the ground and see things for yourself Here's the perfect example for 25 years now. I've been wearing a certain kind of belt In fact, I've got five or six of these belts made by the same belt and shoemaker and panna hot cell Guatemala

[23:14] That's the first little town you get to when you go to Lake Atitlan considered the most beautiful lake in the world You heard me talk about that Anyway, about 25 years ago. I stumbled into this little shoe shop and there were tons of belts hanging on a rack Fantastic hand-tooled leather belts none of that tacky touristy jive either. I'm talking about real classy belts many different styles and designs, too Even plain black brown and tan belts with no tooling on them whatsoever Really nice stuff and as I was going through the belt racks were probably 150 assorted belts there I noticed that five or six of those belts had hidden zippers on the inside I thought man, that's just what the doctor ordered a beautiful belt with a completely stealthy zipper for money gold coins Even a flash drive or two and because of the thickness and quality of the leather

[24:02] Once you had it on and fastened. There was no way at all a tell It was anything other than a normal belt and man those zippers too were nicely done and very heavy-duty So I bought a few and started wearing them exclusively. I'm wearing one right now. I wear them all the time I never use anything else Now you can go on the internet and look up belts with hidden zippers and they'll show a lot of nylon belts Just cheap pieces of crap compared to these They're so thin that if you have fold a couple of $100 bills and put them inside the hidden zipper compartment There's an obvious bulge like a snake who's just swallowed a rat not too stealthy You'll never catch me wearing one of those. I've been spoiled So anyway, ever since I discovered that little shop I eventually accumulated about five or six various styles and in all that time I've ruined only one still 20 even 25 years later

[24:52] I passed by that same little booth He's got the same 150 or so belts on display But only five or six of them have zippers and in fact You have to ask the guy if he's got zippered belts because they're not obvious and there's no science pointing out that they even exist That there's two kinds of belts on that rack The thing is over the years every single gringo and expat I've ever shown my belt to They say wow, I want one or two or three of those Tell me where and I say well the only place I know of is in a little leather shoe and belt shop in Panahachella Lake Ataland Now I've been to Lake Ataland many times and to walk down to the lake from the little town of Panahachella that's the first town you get to from the Pan American Highway, you can't help but walk right past that shop and

[25:38] Occasionally, I'll be with a gringo or expat who says I want to go take me there So we pop in and get the deal done But like I said, there are so few belts in the rack They often don't have regular sizes especially for junk food fortified super sized gringos No problem though since they're all custom handmade You just tell them your size and he'll make one two or ten of them up and have them ready the next day Again, these are not touristy trinket belts. You buy a souvenirs for your aunt Trudy's kids Now the last time we bought one or two, we started the haggling at 20 bucks I got him down to 12, but you know every time I passed the place Here's what's going through my mind. I'm thinking there's a gringo business in all this now If I was a fresh green expat just coming down looking to start a business I'd make an exclusive deal with the belt maker number one. I'd create a website

[26:24] Maybe even do affiliates with companies like Lands End LL Bean North Face any one of those leather goods and outdoor clothing outfits There's just tons of brick-and-mortar and online retailers You could approach with that product and then there's a company called Outback that makes those great passport pouches They've got some zipper belts too, but it's that nylon crap you get where I'm going with this You can start selling those things and you wouldn't even need any inventory You get the prepaid orders and then you make the product and the cost well I think in bulk you probably could get the guy down to maybe six or eight bucks apiece and Believe it. You could sell them all day long on the internet for 30 bucks. Maybe more I think you know why I'm mentioning this now or maybe not because I'm virtually certain It would be a killer idea to make tons of money and yet 25 years after I discovered the place

[27:13] No one's jumped on that idea yet Imagine how many tourists and expats have walked by that place in the last 25 years Not knowing such an opportunity was right under their noses. So mr. Tommy, that's what I mean about having to get quality boots on the ground That's how you see business niches that are just begging to be filled You've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America If you need some help with your own plan B We can schedule a one-on-one phone or Skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week-long expat insider seminar in Central America Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan B Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com. No spamos