#1090 – The Expat Files: Energy, Language, and Life in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you ex-pat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started All right back to the expat files living in Latin America a voice for the oppressed and downtrodden Otherwise known as expat gonna bees and wannabes. Yep. This shows mostly for all you expat gonna bees and wannabes I'm talking about un-woke people now still hanging on

[00:49] Sadly stuck up in the United States of toxicity. Yep. That's right This is the show for people dying to get out of Dodge. We just haven't made the move yet for whatever reason Oh, and by the way, sorry about the bad audio with the last show that happens when I'm out and away from my regular computer set up I end up using portable gear. That's just not as good as the stuff I have in the regular studio You can tell I know but it's light and compact and I can haul it anywhere Now about today's show. The question is should I get annoying and horrible right off the bat or just ease into it today? All right, let's start out with this email from Claire. She says Johnny You're right about how the public is purposely misled with constant fake news about Bitcoin and cryptos How we keep hearing over and over that Bitcoin and cryptos are huge energy hugs and are environmentally damaging

[01:40] Not that I have any cryptos yet Johnny, but I've done my homework because with my government job. I have almost Unlimited time on my hands. I do practically nothing now and sadly it's totally acceptable No one seems to care. I just sit around at work. Not because I'm lazy It's just that I'm a public Librarian and since schools have been shut down for about a year and a half now almost no one comes into the library anymore Even before kovit though smartphones and Google turned libraries and a lot of other public buildings into virtual mausoleums However, the libraries are still all open for business the public ones anyway Though we get very little traffic dead in the water Though we still rack up heavy utility bills even when no one's in the building

[02:28] Nobody ever reports on this but public libraries and government buildings in general are such energy hogs They make Bitcoin and cryptos seem like firecrackers next to an atomic bomb I doubt Johnny you've ever heard people talk about this before and when I mention it to friends and family at get-togethers Their eyes just glaze over so I just quit bringing it up. You know how when you meet people they say how's it going? How's work? They're just being polite. They really don't want to know but I give them an earful when they ask So Johnny are you ready for an earful because here it comes last week my supervisor at the library informed all of us workers that by October 1st We had to be fully vaccinated to enter the premises Though anyone else could walk in and check out a book or hang out

[03:16] No such restrictions applied to them for the time being Even though as mentioned libraries are virtual mausoleums these days almost no activity except when a teacher Brings in a class of students by force most kids would much rather be glued to their smartphones It seems no kids these days want to be stuck in a stodgy old library And i'm talking about the good old days pre-covid At least back then we'd get our share of seniors who grew up with a library tradition Though now since covid seniors are all panicked about going outside. So we lost that crowd too. Most of them Anyway, so the bad news is I got to get vexed Or quit but the internet cafe bookstore down the lane with absolutely wall-to-wall clients

[04:04] Especially the early mornings and lunch times Have no such vax mandates Here at my public library. I could blast a shotgun down the card catalog main aisle And never hit a human being maybe a mouse because this is a creaky old depression era building with many hidden cubby holes Where countless generations of rodents have been born and raised My point johnny the building was built by the wpa in the 30s and they say bitcoin is an energy hog Lucky no efficiency experts will ever see the heating or ac bills But no one would care. Anyway, as long as government pays the bill. No one gives a rip I happen to see last november's heating and electric bill was six thousand dollars and change and that was just one month

[04:50] And to think the u.s has some three thousand of these concrete depression era monstrosities One in every city in town and borough And there's the other eight thousand plus depression era high schools and junior highs courthouses and municipal buildings, too Most of them five times the size of my library Five times the energy hogs and none of them have any kind of decent fiberglass modern insulation Some still don't even have basic double pane windows In the main reading areas. Yes, but in the private rooms in the basement and the top floors Single pane windows condense in the sweat with the summer air conditioning and ice up in the winter Ironically according to the media it's bitcoin and cryptos that are the energy hogs

[05:37] And how about the fact that I must get vexed to go to a job where I barely interact with humans anymore Well johnny i'm in deep discussions with my husband now I want to move to latin america and he doesn't but he's not the one who's under the gun to get vexed either What am I to do signed claire a very sad 50 something librarian in georgia? P.s Not that I have any cryptocurrencies yet But with all the time i've had on my hands at the bibliotheca In an effort not to get glued to my smartphone or find a corner and just take a lot of naps like other Unnamed library workers have urged me to do In my free time and there's plenty of it I've been studying up on spanish and cryptocurrencies and blockchains

[06:25] When I feel ready to pull the trigger and actually buy a hard wallet and get some cryptos I'd like to get in touch with captain mangle and his crypto course Claire it's mango m-a-n-g-o not mangle m-a-n-g-e-l Mangle captain mangle It could work by the way for all of you who've met captain mango You should ask him how he got that name. I was there when it happened Anyway, claire says i've found no matter how many crypto youtubes. I watch There's no substitute for bantering back and forth with a real live human being And you get none of that with any of the other online crypto courses. What most of us newbies need is some real hand-holding Okay, claire. Thanks for that And I have to say you're stuck in one of those dilemmas. I see all the time

[07:13] One person in a pair or partnership does want to come to latin america in a big way Want to get the hell out of dodge get that plan b going the other one Not necessarily against it, but just needs to be convinced However over the years i've found there are only two ways to convince a person one is they have to have some major trauma Up in the states like you have right now claire being forced to take a vax or get fired or retire Something like that will tend to wake up a person in a hurry And i'm not talking about today's twisted version of the word woke or wake Funny how today's version of the word woke means exactly the opposite of the traditional age-old dictionary definition Man, how the world gets so screwed up. I mean the first world, of course as far as the third world

[07:59] It's always been screwed up but in different ways ways us squingles and expats can handle But I digress. Where were we? Oh, yeah Talking about ways to get your uninitiated or unmotivated partner to go along with a plan b The second best way to get a person on board is to get them down here Off the gringo tourist trail for a week or two But it's got to be off the gringo tourist trail and they've got to get quality boots on the ground In other words, they've got to get the appropriate hand holding done by a person who's well connected Someone with great context who could help make the transition easy and painless Every expat gonna be and want to be needs a person to help them smooth out the bumps Because it won't be smooth sailing if you try to do it all yourself Believe me I hear stories all the time of people coming down on their own getting boots on the ground even making a couple of trips down

[08:49] But not really setting themselves up with a network and then what happens is they come on down Try to set up shop and live here suddenly from day one They've got dozens of questions on their minds and no one to ask except google search Or sometimes worse yet. They'll get on those notorious expat fake book groups You know, there are websites and fake book sites just loaded with gringos and expats living on the gringo tourist trail Problem is most of them don't know a lick of spanish and they don't blend in at all with the locals They're living in a kind of synthetic gringo island world. Thus are not really much connected with the right people at all But those expat fake book sites aren't completely useless Since gringos are always moving and selling their stuff They can be great places to find good deals on refrigerators cars bikes smartphones microwave ovens

[09:40] even gold and silver coins and bullion So by all means if you're going to be or want to be living up in the states And you're about to pull the trigger on a plan b do check out those expat fake book sites If you're thinking about shipping a bunch of stuff down and you'll find it's usually not necessary You might be surprised to find gringos are selling everything you want to ship down used but often in very good condition So you can avoid that hassle. Hey, and believe me I understand the problems of living up in the states right now if you're a gringo wannabe or gonna be You know the clock's ticking on your billy to get the hell out of dodge Your options are starting to get limited the doors are closing The problem is most of today's gonna bees and wannabes are procrastinators often because they've got tons of baggage kids dependent parents and grannies real estate to sell debts and the biggest procrastination excuse of all

[10:31] That long or short wait for social security or a pension to kick in everyone thinks they can hold out One two three five or ten years till that retirement bonus kicks in. Oh, really? Are your eyes and ears not working, right? What you really should be concentrating on is getting some quality boots on the ground Make a couple of week or two week long or even month trips down get that network going meet some people Make some useful friends and get your foot in the door The thing is if you're going to be or want to be if you're not fluent in spanish, you're going to need a network And if you think you're going to do it yourself You can come on down But you're going to spin your wheels and you're going to drop five or ten thousand dollars more than you had to you're going To make a lot of mistakes costly mistakes. I did. I knew no one when I came here to latin america

[11:20] I had some context to look up, but in the end they weren't that much help Yep, that's right. I admit the first five years. I was down here. I spun my wheels. I made tons of mistakes Yeah, I guess that's why a lot of you are listening to this show. You want to hear about my errors so you don't make them, right? Good move. I wish I had someone to listen to like me some 30 years ago But getting back to the point There are so many going to bees and wannabes that are itching to come down here Especially with the covid it crisis and the big brother hammer coming down heavy The problem is again If you've got a significant other who doesn't feel like coming down In other words, they don't mind going down with the titanic or they're just not quick enough to realize it The only way to get them on board and that might not work either is to get some really quality boots on the ground here

[12:09] Key is quality boots on the ground a trip to talum. Cancun or costa rica won't cut it. I'm sorry You long-time listeners have heard me tell the tale that I lived in costa rica for three years That was my first stop and I learned basically zero spanish My street spanish did not start kicking in till after about five years being down here Including that three useless years in costa rica. Thank god. I got out of there But then just two years off the gringo tourist trail my spanish kicked in nicely Well, maybe not that nicely but good enough But that's kind of my observation for language dunces like myself if you choose a place that's populated with gringos You're never going to learn your spanish I know gringos and expats who've lived in gringo ice places talum playa del carmin costa rica in many many places in mexico

[12:59] Think of it living in a latin country for 20 or 30 years and not knowing much spanish at all Though I guarantee if you live off the gringo tourist trail for two years No matter how bad a spanish dunce you are you will learn some spanish Though of course, you know the number one way to learn your spanish in a hurry in just two to three months Is to have a latin boyfriend or girlfriend? But they cannot be english speakers That won't work take it from me if you have a latino or latina significant other who can speak english They'll default to that every time you'll never learn your spanish Even if you make it the rule they must speak to you in spanish at all times Still default to english whenever there's a communication breakdown, which will come multiple times a day. That's for sure

[13:44] Which brings us to a rather long email from madeline But very much worth going over because there are lots of little points of interest So here goes she says hi johnny My husband just came to the realization that traveling to mexico or elsewhere in latin america may be the only way We can afford the extensive dental work that he needs She says I know you mentioned that you have information available on latin american medical clinics. Would this also include dental clinics? We are mostly interested in mexico or hopefully guadamala clinics But however, you have this information organized. I would really appreciate it if you could send it to me All right. Let's stop for a second and hit on that You know madeline. I put together a hundred page latin american health care report Go to expat plan b.com and pick it up

[14:32] It explains the good bad the ugly of the do's and don'ts of coming down to latin america for medical or dental treatment Yes, it's true. There are many many first rate dental and medical clinics and first rate dentists and mds too Many of them trained in the u.s But the problem is most gringles and expats who come down looking for quality work at a very cheap price They have no idea how to qualify the clinics or docs Almost always it's word of mouth or they go for the doc that has the glitziest most first world-like english website That can be a big mistake It's usually an unspoken rule that the more english you see on those ads and websites The more you're going to pay the more gringo pricing. That's why I always recommend first Go to expat plan b.com and get my health care report because it tells you exactly how to find a highly qualified

[15:20] Md or dentist. Otherwise, it's like throwing a dart at the newspaper classified ads That is if you're old enough to remember classified ads used to be printed on paper and as for my report It doesn't list specific clinics dentists or mds amongst other things It talks a lot about the levels of quality and how you can sort it all out That report shows you how to do it. Even if your spanish sucks What most people don't know is that any dentist or md? Who's about 50 years old or younger than that can speak english? It's been a requirement for some years now in latin american medical and dental schools After all the vast majority of cutting edge medical and dental research is first published in english Not to mention all the modern medical equipment and the newest technologies are mostly designed patented and produced in english speaking countries

[16:09] That means the only way an md or dentist can be up on the cutting edge technology is to be able to read it in english Sure, it's true. Eventually. It all comes out in spanish medical literature, too But that could take six months to a year even more and in medicine Especially these days things move at a very rapid pace to keep up. You have to speak english So in a way, that's a qualifier i'd be leery of mds and dentists who don't speak or read english Though i've also noticed many latinos in all the professions often downplay knowledge of english and when you say abla Angles doc Do you speak english? They'll often say just a little bit un poco, but usually they're being very modest They're under playing it. I also find when gringos and expats are asked the same questions about their spanish

[16:55] Abla espanol. Do you speak spanish? Americans will often overplay it. They'll exaggerate. It's the gringo way, I guess Although oddly enough I find europeans in latin america when asked the same questions are not prone to exaggeration Not like american gringos are Oh, well, so remember that when a latino says he speaks english un poco a little That usually means their english is a lot better than your spanish But I digress as usual. Where were we? Oh, yeah, madeline's email So maddie if you're asking me to point out specific clinics mds and dentists I don't usually do that But I generally do is hook people up with my overqualified seminar logistics coordinator rita whose father is a well-known Guatemalan surgeon So she's well connected with anything medical or dental and she'll also connect you with and make appointments for you with my number one

[17:45] dental pick A guy who went to dental school in the usa and was asked to stay and run a department there At the dental school. They wanted him to stay and not return to guatemala. They offered him a position He said no because he wanted to be with his wife and family and kids in guatemala city Man i'll tell you when you walk into his office It looks like you're walking into a high-class high-tech us dental office And if it wasn't for the fact the receptionist is speaking spanish. She wouldn't know you were in latin america Oh, you might think you're in my jammy Speaking of my jammy you want to know one of the top reasons every single latin american I me would love to live visit or buy property in my jammy That's because it's so close to the united states But we were talking about my favorite recommended latin american dentist

[18:32] Another advantage is that his office is right on the pan american highway By the way, I don't make anything or get a commission or a kickback for recommending any of the people I talk about For example captain mangle or my overqualified seminar logistics lady rita They're just good people and as for rita I highly recommend her for any kind of boots on the ground hand holding including Apartment and real estate hunting bank accounts utility hookups internet connections, etc Anyway, people who know me will vouch for the fact that I don't make anything get a kickback or break Or recommending any of the people I mention on this show But let's get back to maddie's email. She says johnny the fact that my husband needs dental work may be a breakthrough for us Originally, my husband was adamant that we would not move out of the country

[19:19] But i've been talking it up and lately he has at least Speculated about what it would be like he talked to a couple of friends who have lived in guatemala, for example Apparently one got stuck at his second home in antigua for an extended period right after the pandemic was declared This guy was concerned about the poverty he was seeing resulting from all this And that it might make living there unsafe for expats as people become more desperate Do you have any thoughts about this? Yes, madeline. I do. You know i've been down here 30 plus years now and guess what? Extreme poverty has always existed in latin america And they don't ride in the streets or rush into other people's neighborhoods and loot and pillage I've never known gringo is to be at risk The majority of latinos are so very used to doing with so little

[20:06] Besides the fact their bills are very low. They've got no eating and air conditioning bills Not to mention they've got four growing seasons You have to come on down take a look drive around and you'll see that most latinos even really poor ones Especially the ones out in the boonies have lemons and mango and avocado trees on their property driveway chickens running around Latinos know how to live survive even prosper under conditions where americans wouldn't last a month In reality the only americans who ask questions like that The ones you're concerned about like for example are latinos going to get so desperate They'll start looting and pillaging and coming after the so-called rich gringos Well, I find anyway that gringos who are worried about that Are generally people who've never been down here for any length of time And if they have they don't mingle at all with the locals

[20:53] They keep their distance hang with the gringos and expats. Oh and madeline if you've noticed the real desperate latinos Join up with those caravans to get their piece of joe biden's american dream Oh, and isn't it funny the really desperate ones that are always sneaking into the states They somehow come up with a five to ten grand necessary to pay the coyotes to get safe passage Meanwhile the average american family it's been reported over and over again cannot scrape together 500 cash for any kind of emergency Hmm. There's something wrong with that math, isn't there? Maybe it's blm or woke math, you know where two plus two doesn't equal four I guess i'm hopelessly old school kind of stuck on traditional math and science, you know

[21:41] That was developed by toxic white privileged males But I digress as usual anyway Then madeline says in her email johnny i'm getting my hopes up that I can persuade my hubby to get on board with a plan b I'm interested in what one of my husband's friends describes as the expat bubble around lake atuland In guadamalo often described as the most beautiful lake in the world Though johnny, I thought we could stick it out up here in the states But now every day I feel more deeply disturbed about the maniacs in this country Becoming more belligerent against those of us refusing to get the vax I don't know how far they're going to take things but I would really like to get somewhere low tech and hands off Where I could possibly buy or fake my way out of getting a jab if they become mandatory

[22:30] Johnny you at one point mentioned guadamalans only have a 2 percent covid vaccination rate Hmm maddie you're off there. It's 4 percent Anyway, she says but you more recently mentioned that almost all latin americans actually want to be jabbed I wonder how that will play out down there Obviously the megalomaniacs who are attempting to control the entire human race want everyone to get this Genetic modification procedure and are tightening the screws on every government in the world Though i've been thinking maybe if you are in an area where most people will just line up for it Maybe those sob's won't wind up going door to door to inject people as the current regime has hinted at doing here in the states As for here in my state, we're told 75 of the people have done this to themselves

[23:17] Almost everyone we know has been vaxxed My husband had a 40 year old acquaintance who had an 18 month old baby She dropped dead of a heart attack two weeks ago And we are friends with an older couple who have both rapidly gone senile and there are others whose mental state We are starting to wonder about they've all had the vax a dear friend was just left diagnosed with thrombophlebitis Several friends just got diagnosed with cancer and died quickly and or are battling it now A friend's brother just had a heart attack and a series of strokes and is currently in critical care all have been vexed My elderly uncle died a couple of days after getting injected last december In every case all the people around them are making no connection to this ghastly experimental procedure

[24:06] But they all took it anyway Seriously, it's like living in a nightmare or a horror movie. Of course, it's not everybody But maybe thinking these are not coincidences makes it seem like i'm the one who's crazy I also see what's happening to people getting put into retirement institutions here Looks like murder to me when so many patients die after these shots Shots by the way, which all retirement homes now require I was really struck though johnny by your observation that people in latin america don't put their elderly in retirement homes And that in-home nursing care is quite affordable To me that would be so much more preferable to what we have to look forward to here in the states Not just for us, but for my son who has a degenerative neurological disorder

[24:53] I could never put him in one of those places. Okay, johnny. That's enough. I'll stop going on about it My own situation has many complexities. I would need to discuss all that in a personal consult if we get that far Anyway, I sure would appreciate any info you could send me about where to get dental work done I'm hoping that will help motivate my husband to make the right decision before it's too late With much gratitude. Thanks Madeline All right. Thanks for that madeline I should mention that many gringles and expats have come down to guatemala specifically to get dental treatments some of them with very extensive procedures And so naturally they had to stay down here for a week or two or three Not a problem though because rita usually makes all those arrangements

[25:39] Once again, if you come down here and try to do it all by yourself You can do it But then most likely you'll get stuck in your hotel room for a week or two or three however long it takes And you really want to make the best possible use of your time down here regarding boots on the ground and having a good Look at all the things you really need to see So again, it's not to say you couldn't contact the dentist and do it all yourself But then how are you going to make the best use of your time? Especially if you don't speak spanish The only way to do it is to have someone hold your hand through it Not just a tour agency either. Oh and by the way, no matter what procedures you get done They're going to be around a fifth at the price of that kind of dental work up in the states So just imagine in this case just came up about maybe two or three months ago A gringo up in the states was quoted 20 something thousand dollars for some implants. He needed to have done

[26:27] He came down here to latin america cost slightly more than three grand He ended up down here for about a month the total cost of his trip not including the dental work I believe it was around 2500 bucks including airfare He ended up staying in a little hotel in antigua guatemala about an hour away from the dentist office Booked it for a month and I think it broke down to around 45 dollars a night There's lots to do in antigua. So it was a good plan. He went to his dental appointments in the city There were about six of them by shuttle bus by the way There's a shuttle three or four times a day for 12 bucks It goes directly from antigua to the airport and then to guatemala city By the way, it was his first time to guatemala He'd been to mexico and costa riga before though never until this trip had been off the gringo tourist trail

[27:13] And in the end he ended up falling in love with antigua guatemala and now is making plans to live there But only because he was able to get in just the right amount of boots on the ground action And meet the right people including our recommended lawyer and now with his little network established He has the confidence to get the hell out of dodge You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america If you need some help with your own plan b we can schedule a one-on-one phone or skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week long expat insider seminar in central america Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan b Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com