#1078 – The Expat Files: Navigating Travel Restrictions, Bureaucracy, and Life in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started All right. Let's talk about traveling internationally in the age of covid it's I've got a really good boots on the ground story from a British guy and his wife who had been living actually retired in Costa Rica before the covid it crap and they decided they had to go back to the UK for some family issues

[00:48] Well, you hear what happened as they did their connections at various Latin American and European airports I don't know how they kept their cool. Ida went ballistic, but you know, that doesn't help especially at airports But when you hear this story, you're gonna think is it even worth it to travel speaking of the terrible intrusiveness of big brother Just looking at a government press release of Wednesday, August 4th It says the US government is taking first steps towards requiring all travelers entering the USA to be vaccinated for the coronavirus This according to the White House press office Then it says this requirement would come as a part of the administration's phased approach to easing travel restrictions For citizens and foreigners entering the country though. No timeline has yet been determined

[01:33] It says interagency working groups are studying how and when to implement this safe move towards resuming normal travel saying that eventually all citizens and foreigners entering the US with some limited exceptions are expected to Be vaccinated against COVID-19. In other words shortly You must be vexed to be able to enter the US then it says the White House official who spoke on the condition of anonymity Said the new rules will require foreigners and US citizens returning from overseas to show proof of vaccination Isn't that funny the White House press guy wished to remain anonymous probably because he doesn't want to get punched in the kisser Meanwhile, the Biden administration has kept in place travel restrictions that have severely curtailed international trips to the US citing the spread of the Delta variant of the virus. Man, what a bunch of

[02:23] Disgusting losers. Will the fake news never end? Why don't we just tell it like it is? Call it the false variant or the Biden variant The bullshit will never end. As you know if you've been keeping up with this and checking out the alternative news The Delta variant is a bunch of BS. Another scheme to get people to take the booster vax Then it goes on to say under rules now non-us residents who have been to China European Union the UK Ireland Brazil South Africa and India Well, if you've been in any of those places in the past 14 days You're prohibited from entering the US and of course the European Union and the UK have their own Restrictive entrance policies for various countries and that ties right into this trying to get out of Costa Rica boots on the ground story We're gonna talk about right now. This is from Kent

[03:10] Kent who's a UK citizen He said first of all, no matter what you've heard in the media about Costa Rica You don't see hardly any covid cases at all Even though the UK says Costa Rica is a red country therefore bursting at the covid seams But I'm telling you Johnny hospitals are not full very few people are wearing masks except the stores and businesses that say you have to Have one to enter. However, because we're entering the UK from one of those so-called shithole countries in the red zone We're forced to quarantine ourselves for 10 days Once we get to the UK as for the covid shots themselves the wife and I have not taken them But even if we had been jabbed the UK will make us quarantine For 10 days because we're coming from a so-called red zone country Costa Rica though

[03:56] Apparently whatever desk jockey bureaucrat designated Costa Rica red zone has never ever actually visited the place So the UK says it's a red zone country. But as for Costa Ricans, they haven't got the memo yet Oh, and by the way, Johnny, I know you don't approve of Costa Rica as a permanent place to have a plan B But we bought in a long time ago 12 years ago And I agree with you that little by little things are changing for the worst with such an influx of first-world people But it's more than a shade better than living in the UK and the weather compared to what we grew up with is magnificent Though I must say in regards to when we first moved 12 years ago when prices in Costa Rica were half again Compared to the UK. Well now we've lost that advantage but back to our traveling story So the UK has designated red countries where anyone arriving from a red country must quarantine at a designated hotel

[04:49] For 10 days along with the red the UK has designated green countries, too And you don't have to quarantine at all as long as you test negative on a PCR test Problem is even if you're flying back from a designated green country so-called safe countries You have to be tested twice on the second day back and the eighth Oh and Johnny if you read this for your listeners There are green amber and red countries according to the UK and they're changing all the time So if you're coming from a red country like Argentina Costa Rica Bolivia, Chile, Colombia Cuba Ecuador India Uruguay Turkey and 50 others So if you're not a UK citizen or UK resident, you can't enter the country at all But if you are a resident or citizen, you must book a quarantine hotel package for 10 days

[05:37] Including two COVID-19 tests and that whole package for two could easily cost 1500 pounds or $2,000 and the UK also designates what they call amber countries and amber list on that list We have Aruba the Bahamas Austria Belize Belgium, Canada Denmark India hungry Guatemala Honduras Mexico even Monaco and about 50 others upon arrival in the UK from an amber country You must produce a negative covid test and you must quarantine at home or in the place you are staying for 10 days And then you must take a covid test on or before day two and on or after day eight of your quarantine However, you don't have to quarantine at all If you've been fully vaccinated in the UK or under the UK vaccine program overseas

[06:25] And you must have had your final dose of the vaccine at least 14 whole days before the date you arrive in the UK Though you still need to book and take a test on the second day How ridiculous is that you take the vaccine and you got to get tested again and again and again Anyone with a brain must realize the facts doesn't do what it's supposed to do Now if you're arriving in the UK from a green country, you don't have to quarantine But you must take a COVID-19 test on or before the second day And here's the most disturbing part The National Health Service has an archive of people who've tested positive for COVID-19 Anytime you test positive you end up in their file And even if you arrive from a green country You may be notified that you must quarantine for 10 days If the National Health Care's test and trace system informs you that you traveled with someone

[07:12] Or in proximity of someone who has tested positive for COVID-19 Alright me, Johnny, just a second here Are you getting this? This has got to be one of the worst cases of government intrusion in a so-called free country That I've ever seen By the way, Kent, the emailer, sent me a link to the site that explains all this bullshit With the ever-changing lists of green, red and amber countries and all the rules and regs you got to follow And all the multiple hoops you have to jump through Oh, then Kent says If you're arriving from a green country And you change planes in an amber or red country Or within 10 days of arrival in England You've been through an amber or red list country You must follow the amber list or red list rules Not the green list rules from your country of origin

[07:57] So Kent says The way it works is when you arrive in England You need to follow the rules for the highest risk country or territory You have been in or passed through in the previous 10 days That includes transit stops and changes of planes They're saying these rules apply because New passengers get on and off during transit stops Passengers coming from red and amber countries And they'll mix with you and then get on their planes again So there's that ever-present problem of cross-contamination Again, me, Johnny, here. Are you getting this? George Orwell was a clairvoyant, huh? Worse yet, the rules are always changing So you got to check those websites daily if you're doing any traveling So as you can see in the UK, billions are being made on just these PCR tests Which all you guys listening to this program know

[08:43] They're so accurate, even pineapples and avocados test positive It's a bizarro world gone nuts Anyway, Kent says They went online to one of the reputable ticket brokers And found they could not get a direct flight from Costa Rica to the UK Probably because it's a red country And that means only UK citizens and residents are allowed in No foreigners, tourists, or non-residents allowed So with no direct flights, we booked a two-stop layover First stop, an hour and a half in Mexico City Second stop, two-hour layover, Barcelona, Spain And then on to Heathrow, UK So Kent says With the first layover in Mexico City, we had to transit to a different part of the airport And show our papers at the connecting flight check-in And when we walked up to the counter, the man said our COVID PCR tests weren't valid

[09:32] And the reason? Because we were transiting to Barcelona, Spain They had a PCR 48-hour time limit Some are 72 hours, some are 48 And in Spain, it's 48 Then Kent said, we'll make it We're only going to be in a transit lounge an hour But the attendant said, it doesn't matter You have to have new ones You can do them right here at the airport I said, where do we go? And he gave me directions And said, I got to first fill in a form on their website To get an immediate appointment He said, you just can't show up and walk in You got to make an appointment There was another form too, a transit form to fill out online The guy gave me the websites And I panicked for a minute Because the Wi-Fi was down at the airport I said, wait, wait, wait How do I fill out the forms when there's no Wi-Fi? He said, you can wait for it to come back It's spotty, but it will connect So keep trying Or you can buy a local SIM card here

[10:20] They sell them in vending machines But I told them, we didn't speak much Spanish We didn't know how to do that And the guy at the desk just rolled his eyes and said, I don't know, those are your options All right, me, John here Now, can you imagine Kent and his wife Living in Costa Rica for 12 years And they don't speak Spanish That's typical There's just so many gringos there You don't have to speak Spanish Just like, if you live in my gym You never have to learn English So we walked to the testing place Told the nurse what we needed And she said, sign up on the web And we said, look, there's no Wi-Fi How are we going to do that? She said, I'm sorry Those are the rules And that's when the panic really set in And the clock kept on ticking Luckily, Kent says there was a lady Behind him in line who was from the UK And she offered her hotspot with her own phone She had roaming and an international SIM card

[11:06] Then Kent said, the panic did not abate Because we only had an hour to get those COVID tests And catch the connecting plane And there's always that lingering doubt That my wife or I would test positive Even so, with this simple trip back to the UK There were so many things that could go wrong And delay us indefinitely Okay, then we got the test And as we were filling out the next form It said, where is your next destination? We put down Barcelona And the nurse said, now you have to get on this website She gave us a Spanish website And fill out their transit form So I used that kind lady's hotspot again And guess what? That website in Spain was down It wouldn't connect And the clock kept ticking And after about 10 minutes of trying It finally connected and we filled out the form Oh, and I forgot to tell you Why they made us take new COVID tests

[11:52] Obviously, we were able to fly out of Costa Rica to Mexico Because we had a valid COVID test But here's the thing Though in retrospect, absolutely absurd Since we were flying east across the Atlantic Ocean We were to regain 10 hours or more Which pushed us over Spain's 48-hour PCR test limit Of course, that's bad math It's insane Real time is linear Just because you lose 10 or more hours Due to the spin of the earth and the time zone change That's an artificial, arbitrary, man-made construct And has nothing to do with the continuous linear march of real time But try to explain that to those airport idiots Anyway, we took the test They were negative And we boarded the plane Unfortunately, we all know what it's like Dealing with government bureaucrats Who stick to their script Even if it's completely illogical

[12:39] But you know government employees They don't get paid to think Then Ken says When we finally ended up in the UK We had to fill out a government locator form And they actually come to your house and check on you I don't know where they get the manpower for that They must have hired tens of thousands of new morons But they actually visited our house to check on us Two different times while we were in that 10-day quarantine It was absolutely like house arrest In fact, I asked the lady the first time Why don't you just give me an ankle bracelet? And she laughed Thought it was funny Then straightened up and told me what a serious business this is Yes, George Orwell would be proud Because remember during our quarantine in the UK We had to take a two-day and an eight-day PCR test again Oh and Johnny at the airport You know every other seat has got tape on it

[13:25] So you can't sit right next to a person But when you file out of the airplane Everyone's jammed shoulder to shoulder In the center aisle where everyone has to congregate to exit No social distancing there Same thing when you get on a plane Everybody's masked up Then after an hour or so Masks start slipping down to people's chins Soon they're farther down hanging from everyone's neck It's just ridiculous So much for rigid airline and airport COVID measures There's absolutely no logic behind this stuff Seems like bureaucrats with a little power are making it all up as they go along The more complicated, the better You might as well call it the Government Bureaucrat Full Employment Act All right me, Johnny here Allow me to digress for just a few minutes It reminds me of a story my British buddy Maddy McCafferty once told me

[14:11] He has a few apartment houses north of London But he's also in the British Army Reserve And one day he told me something that really shocked me He said when he was around 18 or 19 years old Doing his boot camp stuff in the UK A guy from the NHS came around, National Health Services And he said they were doing a vaccine testing program And if you'd like to volunteer They'd pay you a thousand pounds Something like fifteen hundred bucks To take a cocktail jab of vaccines They were testing Needless to say he said all the low-income guys in his group You know guys whose families lived in council houses That would be government subsidized housing You know welfare He said practically all the poor boys signed up He took the jab, got the dough And was laid up in bed for a week And was sick At least not near a hundred percent for the next three months Now Maddy's about 55 years old right now

[14:58] And he says looking back He said it was probably one of the top five Stupidest things he's ever done in his life And I said do you think they're still doing that? He said I don't know but someday I'll look it up And I thought man what a scary story They get you when your young stupid macho and broke The perfect combination to get sucked into a scheme like that Seems young males at 18 to 22 It's the peak of their self-perceived invincibility Now I haven't been in contact with Maddy for a good long time now I'm almost afraid to ask how he's doing Anyway then Ken says you know when we took the flight From Costa Rica to Mexico We were on a 747 and there were 13 people on the plane But the plane from Mexico to Barcelona was full By the way here's a good question Are you old enough to remember when flying was fun? Anyway Kent continues

[15:43] We're going to be in the UK for about a month After that it's back to Costa Rica for us Hopefully forever We have a nice beachfront condo in Guanacaste We'll be heading back there in a month or so And we'll report in on how the return flight situation goes It seems to me it'll be infinitely easier to fly from a green zone country to a red We shall see, we shall see Signed Kent and the missus Well thanks for that Kent very interesting And I don't know how you got through all of it Without losing your cool, without blowing your stack I guess it's that old British reserve kicking in You know stiff upper lip and all that You know I've got a couple of expat gringle buddies Who are a little rough around the edges I don't think they'd have got through that airport situation Like you did without busting a few noses By the way Did you ever notice that this Covidian thing is the catch-all excuse for dropping the ball

[16:31] It's what people, businesses and especially government bureaucrats use As an excuse for everything that goes south Or doesn't get done at all Why is the Uber late? It's Covid man Why is the stock market up or down? Covid man Why is my Wi-Fi so slow? Covid man What happened to the famous Amos cookies? Why aren't they in stock? Covid man Why is food and gasoline more expensive? Covid of course Why so many UFO sightings? Covid man Why is my dog treating me differently? Why does Grandma fart so much? Why do so many people believe Gates, Falsi, the WHO and Big Pharma's lies? Covid What else? Alright let's talk about something practical now Something government bureaucrats and a-holes have no say in at all You long-time listeners know I prefer to live in the Altiplano regions

[17:18] Where there's no air conditioning or heating bills at all Though lots of gringos and expats want to live on or near a beach or in the lowlands That means you'll be wanting air conditioning Or at least at a minimum Air conditioning in your bedroom So you could sleep without a constant film of sweat on your skin I know how uncomfortable that can be Judging by the many times I've stayed over at people's houses People who live on or near the beach and don't have AC So anyway for the vast majority of you who'd like to live on or near a beach You'll need air conditioning and my choice For the best AC unit It's not a window air conditioner No, forget about those It's a mini split AC unit That's the kind of air conditioner that comes in two pieces connected By a length of copper tubing and an electrical cable The part that actually cools your home is a unit that's about as big as a queen size pillow

[18:05] Mounted on a wall about six inches below the ceiling And the other part it's connected to with that tube and wiring That tube and cable hopefully discreetly hidden in the interior of the wall Is connected to a unit with a fan in it That's about the size of a regular piece of stowed luggage That's the part sitting outside somewhere usually on a roof It's the thing that makes all the noise The unit in your room makes almost no noise at all And those new so-called split AC units are very very energy efficient In fact if you buy one of these today It's about twice as efficient as the same ones produced about five years ago Now you know when you buy appliances even kitchen appliances There's a little yellow energy tag on each one That says how much energy it uses per year Which for air conditioning units is not very accurate Because who knows what you're going to set it at

[18:52] What temperature and if you're going to run it day night or part of the time What you really want to look for is what's called the SEER number SEER SEER rating Now five years ago or so a very high SEER number The higher the better was around 10 And with today's mini split ACs Lots of them have a SEER number of 20 or more So why are we mentioning this besides the fact that you might have AC? Well I get lots of emails on the subject The problem is electricity is very expensive in Latin America In fact it's one of the few things besides gasoline That's more expensive than up in the states That's the reason why 80 to 90 percent of all Latin Americans Living on the coast or in the lowlands Don't have air conditioning It's just too expensive to run it Especially if you're making minimum wage 300 bucks a month or so So here's what every gringo and expat should be interested in

[19:39] If you have one of these split units in your bedroom Let's say it's rated at 9000 BTU That's plenty for a bedroom By the way that's considered a rather small mini split unit Because they go all the way up to 30 or even 40,000 BTU Anyway if you have a 9000 BTU unit And you have it on day and night Meaning you're always going to keep that room at let's say 74 degrees Which is plenty cool even in a tropical climate Sometimes actually too cool Because you see it's less about the temperature than the humidity If you've got the AC going at 74 or even 77 or 78 When you open the door and walk into that room Coming from the hot humid air It can actually feel too cold So believe me no matter what you're used to putting your AC at up in the states You're definitely not going to want to drop the temperature lower than

[20:24] I'd say 72 degrees Fahrenheit And that's way too low for me When I'm on or near the coast I set the air conditioner at 77 or 78 And if you think that's not cool enough Well you have to come down here and get boots on the ground and see for yourself Anyway if you've got a newer mini split unit Bedroom size 9000 BTU It'll use on average about 250 watts an hour Of course sometimes for a few minutes it'll use double or triple that And sometimes it'll be idling or dormant You know those things are always monitoring your temperature And cycling on and off when needed or not 250 watts is 0.25 kilowatts That works out to around 180 kilowatt hours used per month And the average cost of electricity here in Latin America Is around 20 cents a kilowatt hour That means if you run that little 9000 BTU AC unit 24 seven in your bedroom

[21:10] The electricity will cost you around 36 bucks a month However if you're like most gringos and expats And you're only going to use it at night when you sleep Or once in a while during the day When you just can't take the heat anymore You're looking at eight hours a day instead of 24 Which works out to 12 bucks a month Sounds pretty reasonable right? Now remember just five years ago When those sear numbers were hovering around 10 You'd be paying twice as much Even so it sounds fairly reasonable right? That is if you're only putting the AC in the bedroom If you do like most gringos and expats You'll put a much bigger unit in your living room Or dining room wherever And probably one in each other bedroom or guest room too So you can see how quickly the electric bill can add up Suppose you've got three bedrooms with three ACs going Well you get the idea Now if you've got a big unit Like a 22 000 BTU unit That lots of people will have

[21:56] To cover living room, dining room, and kitchen all at once Well that's going to use more than twice as much electricity as a 9000 BTU unit Though admittedly if you're living on the coast or have a beach house You're more than likely to have the windows Patio doors etc. open during the day to accommodate breezes Most people because lights attract bugs Will close their windows and doors at night Then you'll probably want to switch on that AC So then what do those units cost? Well an 8 or 9000 BTU unit will probably cost around 500 bucks And maybe 50 bucks to install And a big 22 000 BTU unit Well it's more than twice as powerful as a bedroom unit But it's only slightly larger And the condenser fan portion is somewhere outside Generally against the house Somewhat out of sight in the backyard Or in a hidden elk cove on the roof So you're looking at 500 dollars for a small 8 or 9000 BTU unit

[22:45] And for a bigger one to cover two or three rooms 22 000 BTU is around 7 or 800 bucks By the way having one or two of those mini split AC units Is a great incentive for you to get some solar panels Because then even if you don't have a big lithium battery backup to run them at night All you really need is maybe 5 400 or 500 watt panels And that'll take care of two AC split units During the daytime During the hottest part of the day too By the way with my solar panels I've noticed they start putting out energy around 7 in the morning Till at least 6 at night So if you've got just 5 high powered solar panels That's the minimum You really should get more of their cheap 150 to 200 bucks a piece you know Then you'll be able to run your AC units for free during the day But you knew that already right? Or did you? You should be able to put a system like that together for around 3 grand

[23:33] That includes 5 powerful panels The racking and the inverter That changes the DC current from the panels to AC for your house Alright now let's talk a little bit about Latin American and gringo culture clashes Some differences I've noticed over the years between gringos and expats and latinos I'm talking about the local latinos The ones that aren't traveling back and forth to the states Aren't the high income gringo wannabes That just have to make that trek to Disney World And shop once a year in the capital of Latin America My jammy Nope I'm talking about your everyday middle class, lower middle class And even upper middle class latinos Who haven't been gringoized That you will run into on a daily basis Or even hang with if you're living down here as a long term expat Now we're speaking in generalizations of course But they're based in fact Number one latinos generally do not interrupt conversations

[24:20] And break in while you're talking I'm not saying they're great listeners But they know better than to interrupt people When there are conversations going they wait for their turn to speak Number two I've noticed they take responsibility for things They don't put the blame on others Other family members, the government, covid You know what I mean For example when they don't show up on time and they rarely do They'll say I'm sorry it's my fault They might throw in that the traffic was bad But they'll take the blame Oh and when you're out to eat with them For example of everyone sharing pizzas They'll never dive in and make pigs out of themselves And as much as they want to they won't snag that last piece I think it's because they don't make much money So food is a big percentage of the family budget And they're very good at sharing Latinos are very good at sharing stuff Number four they treat waiters, waitresses, and service people kindly

[25:07] Again lots of wealthy and upper middle class gringo wannabe latinos Are terrible in that respect But I'm talking about middle class and even most upper middle class latinos And poor latinos They treat the help with respect Though lots of times not their own help Their own maids and maintenance guys I'm saying they respect people in the service industry outside of their own homes And I can't figure out why such a difference They're nice friendly and obliging to waiters and service people But their cleaning lady They often talk down to and treat like crap Or I should say it's usually the woman of the house that I see mistreating the cleaning lady I haven't really noticed men doing that to the cleaning ladies But I've seen ladies do that to their help And that's not just with wealthy latinos and latina bosses I've seen middle class latinas berate their cleaning ladies too

[25:52] Right in front of company Number five latinos are much more polite than gringos and expats They're simply much less confrontational They don't want an incident They want everyone to get along And if there's a disagreement They almost never get into shouting matches or take it to extremes Of course when it comes to inner family squabbles That's a different thing They can take it and dish it out like nobody's business But when dealing with friends, neighbors, and strangers They're awful polite Number six I'd have to say from my own experience As a rule, latinos are crappy house guests They almost never leave things as they found them And your bathroom's bound to be a mess If they stay over in your guest room And that guest room toilet Don't get me started You remember in a previous show I said many latinos Even upper middle class latinos don't flush It's because everyone who's on a municipal water supply

[26:39] And doesn't have a cistern has a shortage of water It's only on 8 or 10 or 15 hours a day And you know that right off when you flush and nothing happens I know I know pretty disgusting But there are some habits Latinos just can't shake even when they're at your house Number eight During a long car ride or road trip You can expect they'll mess up your back seat with soda cans and food wrappers They're just not into picking up after themselves Especially middle class and upper middle class latinos Who have maids and cleaning ladies They're just used to having to help pick up after them Number seven They're much more polite than we are They're extremely into the please and thank you And even when they're leaving and walking out the door And you say see you next time or next week, whatever They almost always say see Dios Permate Or Gracias Adios Meaning God willing In fact the literal translation of Adios is go with God

[27:27] And on that note we'll conclude this show with an instance here Adios