#1072 – The Expat Files: Retirement, Food, Crypto, and More

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] Alright, let's get to some long overdue emails, and maybe there are even a few haters in the batch. Oh and by the way, as far as your emails and the questions you send me, I do read them all but I don't answer them all because some of them are just, well, unanswerable. For example, like this one, Johnny I'm 62 just about ready to take my social security, what's the best place to retire in Latin America? Duh? Double duh. That'd be like writing a letter to Car and Driver magazine saying, Hi, I'm 62, what car should I get? I know, I know. They say the only dumb questions are the ones you fail to ask, but please. Now for you guys and gals out there who have huge, wide open questions like that, if you're really serious about an answer, you have to do a one on one personal consult with me.

[00:46] First I send you my three page questionnaire to get a nice baseline of your likes, your needs, wants, capabilities, health condition, Spanish language level, etc, etc. On top of that, I've got to know the kind of personality profile you have. Are you a loner, the life of the party, introvert, extrovert? Are you rich, poor, somewhere in between? Do you have a lot of baggage back at home like ex-wives and husbands, houses, debt? Are you conservative, liberal, libertarian? You get the point. So, please, I can help you out, help you hone in on a really good place to have a plan B in Latin America, but we've got to get a nice solid baseline first. Oh, and you know if you do a personal call with me, whether it's a half an hour or an hour, I do charge for that. However, you don't have to pay me up front. In fact, I always tell people, if the call wasn't worth it to you, it's free.

[01:31] Oh, and by the way, if you come to one of my Exped Insider seminars, the call's free too. Oh, and you should know that 99% of people take the hour consult too, because it always seems after about a half an hour, we've just gotten started. Oh, and those conversations always go longer than an hour. I don't charge any extra for that. Sometimes they go an hour and a half. I've even had a few that have gone too. Anyway, like I said, the call has to be worth it for you. So I don't send you a PayPal request before the call. I send it a day or two after. And over the past 12 years since I've been doing this show, I've done at least 500 phone consults and no one has ever told me it wasn't worth it. No one ever asked for a refund. There's always a first time though. Oh, and by the way, now I'm doing those consults almost exclusively on the Signal app because it's end to end encrypted.

[02:18] They don't save or sell any of your data. And what's cool about that app is that when you hook up with a person and make them your contact, you can select to have all the messages, data, photos, videos and such disappear completely on your phone app too. And you can select the timeframe in which that happens. Or you can choose not to eliminate any of the messages or data at all. So you can still look back on your phone at your previous text, photos, data, et cetera. But again, the Signal app itself doesn't collect your story, any of that. One more thing, I know everyone listening to this show out there would like to get that plan B going, or maybe you're somewhere into it already. If you're wondering the best way to organize the bullet points and your bucket list for actually getting started on that plan B, I recommend you download my phone consult form and just go through it. It'll help get you organized and thinking about things you may have not

[03:05] considered before and certainly get the juices flowing. I highly recommend you have a look at it. Just send me an email, the expat files at gmail.com. I'll send it to you with no obligation whatsoever to do a consult with me. Just keep it in your own file for reference. So again, if you want a copy of my consult form, which is basically a plan B checklist, send me an email, the expat files at gmail.com. All right, let's get to the first email from Mr. M&M. Speaking of M&Ms, am I going crazy or is it true that M&Ms don't taste as good as they used to way back when in the 70s, 80s and 90s? Did they change or cheapen up the ingredients or the formula or start making the stuff in China? Well, one thing I know is you can get all the candies you get up in the States here in Latin America. The big difference being that if it's a well-known US brand, it'll have

[03:52] high fructose corn syrup in it if it's sugary at all and coming from the States. Even Heinz and Hunt's ketchup, which you can get down here in Latin America, has high fructose corn syrup and the local brands have regular sugar. Now we all know regular sugar is kind of a poison, death by a thousand sweet drops. But when you're talking about high fructose corn syrup, that's a double skull and crossbones because the human body does not process that crap well. I'm sure you're fully aware of that. So any brand name food from the States that's imported down here to Latin America, like M&Ms, Oreos, Chips Ahoy. Yep, they've got all that stuff down here too. You can check it out at any Walmart or Costco. And you listeners all know that Walmart is Latin America's biggest employer. They're everywhere. Now, as far as brand name foods that you find here in Latin America that

[04:39] are produced in factories here in Latin America, like for example, Pepsi and Coca-Cola, well, the difference is down here in Latin America, they use cane sugar, not high fructose corn syrup or sugar derived from processing sugar beets. That's what they use in Coke and Pepsi factories up in the States. Oddly enough, visiting Americans can tell the difference between a Coke or a Pepsi that came from a US factory and one that came from, let's say, a factory in Salvador or Mexico. Because down here, south of the border, there's no slimy, phlegmy aftertaste. Think I'm yanking your chain on that? Well, you just have to get some boots on the ground and see for yourself. Speaking of gringos and gringo diets, there's an odd phenomena that I see almost all the time when newbie gringos and expats come down. It always seems in the first couple of months they've been down anyway. When I visit them and go into their kitchen, check out the refrigerator,

[05:26] see what's on the counter. It's as if I've been transported to their old kitchen back in Cleveland. They're still on the All-American killing me softly diet with all the same junk food they had in the cupboards back in Portland. But it almost always seems after a year or so, slowly but surely a little by little, that stuff starts disappearing, replaced more and more by super healthy, super cheap, tropical fruits and vegetables. It almost always happened. By hook and crook, our diets become much more natural, much more healthier. Though, of course, there are those odd cases of expats who've been down a long time and they're still totally addicted to American junk food. And as for some gringos and expats, I can't even walk into their kitchens without cringing. For example, you know, down here, they've got their own version of Wonder bread. They call it that, I think, because if they had it back in the time of the

[06:13] pharaohs, when they opened King Tut's tomb, they would have found not a fly or a pest ever took a chunk, a wonder indeed. However, down here in Latin America, it's not called Wonder bread. It's called bimbo bread, but the same packaging. And believe me, when I walk into a gringo's kitchen and I see a loaf of that on the counter, especially since here in Latin America, there's a fantastic little bakery tucked away on practically every street corner. So when I see a loaf of bimbo bread in a gringo's kitchen, I know for that person, health-wise, it will not end well. Though honestly, you have to admit that bread company could not have picked a more apropos name, bimbo, spelled just like it sounds. And as for local Latinos, they love that stuff. They eat it up. Even though a couple of years ago, it was all over the news that they

[06:58] got caught, the bimbo company, that is, biggest bakery chain in all of Latin America, putting sawdust filler in their bread, but it still flies off the shelves, mostly because, get this, even though the corner bakeries make much, much better and more healthier products. The bakery stuff only lasts about a day or two because it's not loaded with preservatives and additives. But that bimbo bread, well, you remember that King Tut story? But I digress, man did I digress. We were talking about reading Mr. M&M's email. So he starts off, or maybe it's a she, I don't know, it's just M&M. I hope it's not that has been a whole rap artist. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Rap artist. That's an oxymoron right up there with Senate Intelligence Committee.

[07:46] Anyway, M&M says, Johnny, I want to tell you, I just recently started following your podcast. I really appreciate the info you provide. I've been going back and forth between Columbia, Dominican Republic, and the communist USA. It's gotten so bad and the US has changed so horribly lately. It looks like starting in New York and California. They're going to be doing forced door-to-door vaxxers soon. It's been scary. I'm not a fan of the vaxx at all. So I'll be heading for the mountains or jungle eventually. I think I'll be going all the way off the grid. First question, Johnny. Can you tell me more about therapy for back injuries using stem cells? Well, M&M, Johnny here. That's one of those very involved questions that can only be answered with a one-on-one consult. Again, because people asking about stem cell treatments have their

[08:33] own particular set of physical problems. However, for you, M&M, or anyone else out there who wants to know all the facts about stem cell treatments, how they work, what they're good for, what they cost, how long they last, the whole works, go to this great website. DreamBody, all one word, D-R-E-A-M-B-O-D-Y dot clinic. That's it. And when you're there, just click on the box that says stem cell treatments. And they've got a dozen short five minute videos on every single disease or affliction. Stem cells are known to cure or improve. Then M&M goes on to say, Johnny, I tried and made some money with Memcoins like Dogecoin, but I'm nervous about Bitcoin. Hmm. Well, M&M, you're nervous about Bitcoin, huh? But you invested in shitcoins?

[09:19] Well, you know what I think? You've got it ass backwards, man. It's those shitcoins I'd be worried about, but that's just me. Then again, I've only been in the crypto space since about 2013, way back when when Bitcoin was only $60. And there were no shitcoins yet. Not even Ethereum, but what do I know? And then M&M asks another question that can only be answered completely with a one-on-one consult. He says, Johnny, I was wondering if a business in Latin America would be good. Would you recommend Dominican Republic, Columbia, Guatemala, or where else do you think? Let me pause and take a breath here. M&M, are you serious? Man, I'll tell you questions like that are so frustrating. Sort of reminds you of that car and driver question, doesn't it?

[10:05] Hi, car and driver. I'm 62. What car should I get? I think I need to take another deep breath and count to 10. You know, M&M, I've done about 1,070 half hour shows. If you want a shitload of business ideas and the countries I recommend you get started in, just dig into the archives. My shows are all there and free. Of course, you get what you pay for. Then, M&M asked a question I can actually answer here. Johnny, how expensive are those helicopter schools? Now, that's a good question. Well, the thing is, there are tons of private schools here in Latin America. Every parent wants to send their kid there because they know how crappy and underfunded government schools are. Did you know, and I've mentioned this before, certain Latin American cities and towns have pencil drives where kids go around from door to door asking you to

[10:55] donate pencils because they haven't even got those at the schools. Anyway, first, let's talk about private schools. Private schools at the low end are not considered helicopter schools. Helicopter schools are the top end most expensive ones and got their names because some actually have a helicopter pad, mostly for the convenience of the country's political scumbags who drop off their super entitled children in the morning. It's all for show. Of course, no one needs that. It's beyond pretentious, but sociopaths will be sociopaths. So private schools, let's talk K through 12 at the low end, might cost somewhere around a hundred bucks a month for a kid. Even at that price, there are 10 times better than a public school. With private schools, it's a sliding scale and you get what you pay for. And the very top end schools will run around four to 600 bucks a month. It's a funny thing too, how Latinos rate private schools.

[11:44] You'd never predict it, but the quality of a school in the minds of Latinos depends on pretty much one thing and one thing alone. The percentage of real North American gringo born teachers on staff at those real high-end helicopter schools, up to 50% of the teaching staff are homegrown gringos and gringas. Oh, and it's easy to tell if a teenage Latin kid has gone to one of those high-end helicopter schools. Their English will be nearly perfect because in most helicopter schools, half of the classes are taught strictly in English. Now in the less expensive private schools, they'll have English classes, but they won't be taught by native English speakers. They'll be taught by Latino and Latina teachers who learned English as a second language. So it's like a VHS tape. As you record extra copies, you keep losing fidelity.

[12:32] Kids who learn English that way are never fully bilingual, nor did they have the confidence to switch back and forth from Spanish to English easily. Again, you get what you pay for, including with this show. And finally, Eminem says, Johnny, I've been having a hard time getting a loan to buy property. Any suggestions? Hmm. Yeah, Eminem, I guess you're thinking about buying property in Latin America, right? You've been traveling to Columbia, the Dominican Republic, et cetera, you didn't spell it out. But if you are, I do have a suggestion. Forget about getting a bank loan in Latin America. You're just not going to get one unless the circumstances are perfect and you're extremely lucky. Your only chance is if you've got a good connected Latino lawyer as your reference and you put 20 or 30% down. Even at that, there's no guarantee. Any gringo or expat looking to get a house property or business loan

[13:19] here in Latin America will spend a lot of time chasing his own tail. And even if you get one, interest rates will be twice or even three times what you can get from a bank up in the States. That's just the nature of the beast and how it's always been down here in Latin America. However, as detailed in a couple of shows I did on real estate and property a few years back, there are lots and lots of new gated, guarded communities, mostly in the burbs of medium and large sized Latin cities that offer direct financing. Now, when the builder or developer offers financing, you can bypass a lot of the bank red tape because they're acting as their own bank. So that's always a possibility if you want to live in a nice gated, guarded community problem is a lot of those new gated, guarded communities are very sparsely populated. They've got tons of lots, but only a couple of houses here and there.

[14:05] And that's why the developers offering financing because he wants to keep building and he's running short of cashflow. And that of course, always means there is a chance, especially if there's just a few houses that the whole project will fail. Then you and the few people who bought in our SOL. So if you're going to go with that route, make sure that the subdivision is sold at least a third of the lots. And there are a decent number of houses there already are under construction. You don't want to be one of the first ones in one of the lone rangers. I know for a fact that even before the COVID thing, there've been dozens of residential projects in and around most all medium and large sized Latin cities that have just been abandoned. It's obvious too, you're driving along and you see a wide driveway entrance, a big faded sign or two advertising lots available. Lotes despondibles with a fading and tattered picture of a nice

[14:52] upper middle class model home. But if you drive up to the guard house, you notice there are plenty of lots of, right? But there are no such houses built or even under construction. So even if the developer offers financing and you'll see a lot of those, no matter how good the deal looks, you don't want to be the first one in or even one of the first 10 in. All right, moving on. Here's an email from a far away listener. The heading says, greetings, Johnny from Dubai. It comes from a guy or gal named Zenyuan Min. I'm almost positive it's a guy. That's Z-H-E-N-Y-U-A-N. Kind of a tough name to pronounce, but who knows? Maybe in Dubai it's as common as a Dave. Anyway, he says, hello, John, greetings from Dubai. I was impressed by your June show about the 1% theory.

[15:40] Really interesting. All right, me, Johnny here again. If you recall on that show, I was talking about how it's blatantly misleading, even illogical to set up us versus them battle lines based on the 1% of haves versus the 99% of have nots. We discussed the artifact that if you make $35,000 a year, you've popped into the 1% of income earners worldwide. Though 35K a year puts you in the upper middle class brackets in Latin America. It'll put you solidly in the poor to lower middle class category in virtually all first world countries. That means of course, if you hear anyone in the media talk about the 1%, they really don't know the stats. They don't know what they're talking about. However, they would be much more accurate if they moved everything over one decimal place and spoke about the 0.1%.

[16:28] You know, in science and statistics, to be off by one decimal point is a huge and embarrassing faux pas, though it doesn't seem to matter in government. You can be off by a factor of 10 and still keep your job, maybe even get promoted. I mean, really, how many times have you heard about a highway bridge, subway, NASA space shot, or a stealth bomber coming in on budget? How about never in government? A 10 times cost overrun is normal. A job well done. They might even give you a statue and people don't get fired. They get promoted. Whereas if that happened in the private sector, they'd run you out on a rail. Maybe even take it to court and ruin you. The odd thing is though, when a private company gets a government contract, suddenly they too go into government overrun mode. They call it cost plus. Have you heard that before? You know, for example, McDonnell Douglas or Boeing, when they put in a

[17:15] bid at NASA or for a piece of a stealth bomber for let's say a hundred million bucks, they always insist on cost plus. That means the final cost overrun is whatever they say it is. And the government pays. It's a really fucked up system. And as George Carlin would say, it's an exclusive club and you ain't in it. But where were we? Oh yeah, our emailer Zen Yan from Dubai. He says, a question about Brazil, Johnny. I think the biggest problem living there is the dark side of that society, the corruption, the gangs, more specifically the problems with getting visas, driving licenses and other business licenses in an effective way. And basically how to stay safe if you actually do business in Sao Paulo, for example, all right. My two Sitoshas, once again, you know, I never recommended Brazil.

[18:02] I've been there quite a few times over the years. It's an absolute bureaucratic nightmare. And if you want to have a business on the books, they tax the shit out of you. That's why I'd say almost half of the businesses are off the books. Oh, and did I tell you if you want anything that's not made in Brazil, you know, stuff that's imported, whether it's electronics, appliances, furniture, stuff from Amazon, you can absolutely count on paying twice as much. That's a hundred percent or more than what you'd pay for the same item in the States or in Central America. To me, it's an amazing phenomena. Central America and South America have so many things in common, including the language and most customs, but somehow once you go south of Panama, practically everything that's not made in South America, everything you have to import from out of the continent, the US, China, South Korea, Europe is slapped with cumulative taxes of a hundred percent or more.

[18:50] Now you might call it a simple case of protectionism. You know, everything imported costs so much. You're kind of forced to buy what's ever available and made locally. But in the end, I don't think government slugs making the laws are smart enough to have figured that out. The tax laws in Brazil are a nightmare. I don't think they're extreme and overly complicated to protect the local businesses. Lired ass politicians don't care about local businesses. They only care about getting reelected, keeping their jobs and sucking more and more from the trough. And the best way to keep the trough full and flowing is to levy tax upon tax upon tax. And up to now, anyway, especially in Latin America, it's been impossible to eliminate the so-called informal economy, you know, people off the books. But just recently, I'd say in the past two years, anyway, governments

[19:35] were wide have been talking about going with their own digital currencies. They're just chopping at the bit to ditch paper money. And when that happens, unless people go back to bartering, everyone will be on the books and all your purchases and financial transactions will be at the whims of slugs and tyrants in government. And that's something to really be afraid of. But you knew that already, right? You know what that means, don't you? Even the little lady selling tacos on the corner, she'll have to have a cheap smartphone to swipe with your smartphone to make a sale and the government will steal its portion of taxes directly from that poor lady's account. Whereas before all that, those sales were completely private. The government had no way to control it and no way to know. As much as they hated not getting their piece, they were completely out of the loop. All right. Then Mr. Z closes his email by saying, appreciate your time reading

[20:22] this little email and by the way, hydroxyquinolone is a very effective drug. I'm taking it 200 milligrams per week now as a prophylactic. And all is well. Wish you the best, Johnny, and stay safe. Sign Zhen Yuan. And now an email from another part of the world in the EU from Lady J. She says, hola, Johnny. As I'm writing this, it's only 22 days till liftoff from me. I'm getting the hell out of Dodge. The days are grinding by with this 24 minute news cycle. I said 24 minutes, not hours, because it's going so fast here in Europe. So much covidiot news and shit happening. She says it's very nerve wracking, thinking I'll even make it on the plane. So many covidiot factors are in play. We just had a pullback and restrictions threatening to make the country code

[21:11] red so people can't travel abroad, like for the restrictions of people from the UK going to Guatemala for the moment. I'll tell you, Johnny, I won't be completely relaxed until I land in that soft bed at the Barcelona Hotel in Guatemala City. As for now, I'm on FBI book, aka fake book. You got that right. In order to sell all my household crap, which is a necessary evil. And while they're on fake book lurking in the expats in Guatemala, fake book group, most of the people on there are in Antigua, Guatemala and around the lake, which is good. I get a lot of information there on that site, except most of the Americans there are brainwashed cult sheep who've taken the depopulation vax and promote it fiercely. So in a way, I'm a bit worried about what I'm going to encounter.

[21:59] If I go to Antigua, Guatemala, I mean the amount of covidiot terrorists I'll encounter. There seem to be so many woke mask and shot fanatics on those expat Facebook sites. Here's a question for you, Johnny. What's your experience with Latinos? Are they still in the fear slash terror state of mind? Or do they see through it all? Is it still mandatory to wear the masks on the street when you're outside? All right. Lady Jamie Johnny here again. I found almost every Latino doesn't matter the country. They're absolutely dying to be vaxed. And since in most countries, the vax is free, everybody wants something for nothing, right? Only at a hundred or so US dollars a crack, it's Latino governments that are paying the big dough up front to those demonic big pharma vax companies. Governments have to pay at least half up front, you know.

[22:45] Where do you think they're getting all that dough? Latin governments and every government really are dead broke. But you know, covidiot is an emergency situation. So the World Bank, IMF, et cetera, are lending third world countries the money to buy those faxes. It's the usual revolving door of kickbacks and corruption. Oh, and as far as wearing masks, only Latinos and gringo fools wear masks out on the street. Problem is to go into a grocery store or pharmacy, they force you to wear the mask, but outside only ignorant fools wear them and no one gives you any looks or crap for it anymore like they used to a couple months back. All right, then Lady J says, Johnny, there was a press conference on Friday and President Giamatti of Guatemala said he can't lock down the place again due to the informal economy. So that's good. Me, Johnny here again.

[23:31] Yep. Three cheers for the informal economy. People working off the books. Then she says, although people seem to be protesting and begging for the poison, there's not a peep about mandatory shots or passports. Or did I miss something? She says, I saw Mexico starting to talk about it last week for the people who traveled to Europe. They said, well, Lady J, you're right about the fact that no one's going to force shots or mandatory passports in Guatemala or most Latin countries, except the more organized and heavily waxed ones like Chile. Remember, in most all Latin American countries, only about 5% of the population is fully waxed. And in Chile, those idiots are up to 80%. All right, then she says, needless to say, I'm not going to make any friends with those COVID cult

[24:17] members out there. I wasn't a fan of the fake book expat cliques to begin with. Plus I'm pretty much on my own anyway, so I'll be all right. Having said that, I do feel the need to get together with some like-minded people once in a while. It's been a crazy 14 months and it would be nice to hang around with some grounded people again to reflect a bit on what's happening in the world and just have some well-needed fun. Without sounding super lame, I would appreciate it if you might introduce me to some cool like-minded expats over there in Guatemala. I'd also love to meet some of the crypto crowd that would make for a real interesting conversation with people on the same wavelength. Anyway, signing off now and looking forward to hearing your boots on the ground about the current situation. Nos vemos, Lady J. All right, Lady J, thanks for that. And it's cool you're coming down to Guatemala.

[25:04] Good move. All right, now it's my turn to make a few more enemies. I've got a lot of not so good things to say about certain gringos and expats I made down here, though a lot of them like my friend Ex Corrupt Boston Cop Bob are completely with us as far as despising Big Brother in the US government and every politician scumbag thrown his weight around and sucking from the trough. But still, even guys like Ex Cop Bob are all in on the Vax crap. I don't get it. How can so many smart people be so clued in on all those government lies and the fact that the Titanic's going down. Yet they believe asswipe government healthcare agency press releases and lying government cancel culture mouthpieces like Dr. Falsi. I don't get it. By the way, Lady J, speaking of those fake book expat groups, realize that most cool

[25:51] expats don't ever get on those fake book groups except to see what people are buying and selling. Expats are always moving in and out and there's stuff you might be interested in. But to actually get into serious conversations with most of those long kids who double mask and talk about the Vax like it was some kind of miracle, who still eulogize O vomit like he was some kind of saint. Please, I'm not in the habit of getting advice from mental midgets. To me, getting on an expat Facebook site is like discussing relativity with the McDonald's drive up window lady. Oh, and you listeners know how much I hate Google. In fact, when someone says to me, Johnny, I'll just Google it or I googled it or casually says any phrase with the word Google in it, they've already lost two points with me. I know they've been at least partially lobotomized by the lame stream media

[26:37] because if they don't get that Google is the enemy, it's in the business to censor tag cancel, sell and manipulate people and their data, they would never use the G word or casually say to anyone, just Google it. I cringe inside when people say it and subtract two points. And that's saying something because when someone over 21 says that ridiculously overused word, awesome, I only dot come one point.