#1101 – The Expat Files: Navigating Expatriate Life in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now that I wonder Hello there all you ex-pat wannabes I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America the show that tells you just what it's like to live Workplay and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started. All right Welcome to show 1,101 who'da-thunk 11 years ago or so when I first started this show way back in the age of radio Remember those days 11 years ago 95% or more the world didn't even know what a podcast was when you said the word

[00:47] Podcast they knew it had the word pod in it like iPod, but that's about it Well, you know how Americans are when you first meet a new expat or gringo or traveler down here First thing they say to you is where are you from? Second thing is what do you do? I remember years ago when I first started the podcast people would say what do you do? And I'd say podcast and they'd all kind of look at me funny as if I had a glass eye or a loogie hanging from My nose and sometimes only sometimes when I felt it was worth the effort I'd explain it was kind of like radio but on the internet and at that time I do remember people from radio stations. I used to work at saying podcast man. Hmm. I don't think so It'll never catch on it's poor man's radio back Then radio execs did not look at it as a threat like a guy whose hobby is taking home movies a fun enough hobby

[01:33] All right, but nobody really wants to see those hey back Then I heard lots of people dissing podcasts and they didn't even know what they were funny how the tables turned now It's traditional radio even television dying slow deaths and I used to wonder myself. Is this podcast stuff gonna catch on? Not just my podcast, you know, they're starting to pop up everywhere There were way too many of me way back when after all every unmotivated couch potato could sit in his basement in his underwear Eating Cheetos and cheese whiz cranking out podcasts at 3 in the morning between midnight horror flicks and George Foreman grill commercials It's funny back then being a podcaster was sort of like telling someone you got an associates degree I went to a junior college. It had that kind of second rate or almost professional connotation But now just a dozen years later if you tell someone a year in radio, they say radio. Yeah, my grandpa's got one of those

[02:22] Now I don't know what it's like up in the States But down here in Latin America The only time you actually hear radio is when you get into an uber or taxi down here Nobody gets their news or current events from radio anymore Not since every Latino in the hemisphere discovered they can get YouTube on their smartphones Yep, there's music everywhere in Latin America, but 99% of it mindless crap though I have to admit crap with a beat you can dance to Yep, when you get down here, you're gonna hear Latin rock Which is nothing but a bad copy of bad us rock and Latin rap called reggaeton Which is a bad copy of bad American rap, but these days it's not coming from radio It's all coming from YouTube and every Latina is hooked on YouTube Oh and by the way, did you know you can cut out all the commercials and all the promotional crap if you're listening to YouTube or any

[03:10] Other music herb entertainment channel if you first install the brave browser and do your searches through there Not Firefox Google Chrome or any of the other ones. They're just tracking and collecting your data You know again, just download the brave browser brave just like it sounds be are a VE and when you start using it You'll see in the left hand corner It'll give you a running tab on how many ads it's blocked the amount of bandwidth It's saved you and the time it's actually saved you in hours by eliminating those trackers and ads for example I've been using the brave browser exclusively for at least a year now and up in the left hand corner It shows that it's blocked one million two hundred and fourteen thousand and ninety trackers and ads It's giving me back seven point one seven gigabytes in bandwidth safe and most importantly it saved me

[03:57] sixteen point nine hours in the past year in time I would have spent clicking to eliminate trackers and pop-up ads because you know those damn ads and pop-up windows are strategically placed To partially interfere with her cutoff what you're interested in reading or looking at so download the brave browser and use it and use A VPN because that'll route your IP address to a country You're not really in making it appear as if you and your computer are somewhere else and that'll really cut down on the ads and promotions Too because third and fourth world countries don't have sophisticated marketing techniques yet They've got heavy-duty lag time and in no way the kind of money people spend in the first world for marketing and ads So for example when you get your VPN set up It'll ask you to pick a country you want your IP address routed through you'll have your choice of a hundred or so countries

[04:46] Pick one like Brazil or Paraguay. You're always better off picking a third or even fourth world country So then why would you want to do that? Well suppose you're looking to buy a security camera system You've checked out a couple of websites in Texas, California and Illinois Well when you hit on their website or anybody's website They can tell where you're at by looking at the IP address of the computer you're using to surf the web thing is when you do Any kind of web search you don't know it But it's part of the protocol that they receive a whole packet of information about your computer the connections It's making and the servers are using including your location data Then their algorithm will start sending you all kinds of promotions and ads and they'll sell your information To other businesses that have an interest in you as a potential customer for the stuff

[05:31] They sell all that from knowing you're interested in security cameras And if you're doing your searches from your computer in the u.s You're gonna receive all kinds of pop-up ads emails and other junk because you're a mark first world American with money who likes to buy Things online. However, let's say for example if you're using a VPN and you've routed it through Brazil those security camera company websites You've been checking out up in the States will bump you off their promotion and mailing lists because they know seeing that you're from Brazil or Ostensibly from Brazil from your rerouted IP address that you don't fit the American sales demographic There's nothing about you That's ripe for the picking being that the average Brazilian makes 300 bucks a month speed support your gaze Doesn't have a car on a home a typically poor person by first world standards

[06:17] Not by any means a customer worth cultivating so they know it's a waste of time effort and money to send you promotions and putting you on mailing lists So for us gringos and expats if you value your privacy, what's not to like about that? My advice get and use a VPN it might cost you 40 or 50 bucks a year But you get what you pay for including this show believe it. You'll never regret it Oh and VPNs are in no way complicated to use when you turn on your computer in the morning or whenever it automatically kicks in Oh, and here's the thing if you're using your VPN You could check if it's working by simply going to one of the sites that says what's my IP address You click on that and it shows your IP address and that you're in Portugal or wherever of course you're not there But it's one way to show that it's working By the way, sometimes when you're out of the US and you're using your computer or phone

[07:07] You won't be able to access certain YouTubes and other sites It'll say this site or YouTube is not available from the country you are in and the YouTube screen will be black Well, the easy fix is just to change the country on your VPN just momentarily maybe to see that particular YouTube, whatever For example, if you're in Argentina or you're running your VPN through Argentina and you get one of those access denied flags Just switch to a first world country one in Europe or Canada. It'll usually solve that problem and give you direct access So number one get a VPN number to get the brave browser, you know what that is, right? BRA VE browser and it's free now I know you're saying Johnny you just said if it's free, there's got to be a catch, right? Well, of course everyone's in business to make money and the brave browser people even protonmail and start mail are really great and private email

[07:56] Services, but they do charge you However, they all offer their basic services for free hoping to upsell you and other things like extra memory Faster speeds, etc, etc But you don't have to opt into that stuff You can just sign up for the basic free one for most of us who don't have businesses online The basic free ones are perfectly adequate. All right time for an email with some very pertinent stuff in it Especially for people who love Mexico though now with more than a million Gringos and expats living in Mexico. It is the country with the most gringo foreigners living in it That means etc, etc But you don't have to opt into that stuff You can just sign up for the basic free one for most of us who don't have businesses online The basic free ones are perfectly adequate. All right time for an email with some very pertinent stuff in it

[08:41] Especially for people who love Mexico though now with more than a million Gringos and expats living in Mexico It is the country with the most gringo foreigners living in it That means lots and lots of gringos and expats have settled in many still loving it though more and more gringos and expats In the state of things up in the US and Canada and Australia Speaking of institutionalized tyranny and taking the act of being two-faced to the extreme Let's talk about the US Congress where God's genetic mistakes live and flourish Did you know and you can look at this up over? 200 congressmen have been treated with ivermectin. Yeah, that's right that evil horse dewarmer Here's a news flash Did you know that 90% of drugs used in humans are also used by vets for treating animals? Including things like Xanax. So then why don't journalists report that Biden's been taking dog antidepressants?

[09:33] It's absolutely true. But you know, the media is not out to get him. He's one of theirs Talk about the world gone crazy So it follows that the next time you take ampicillin penicillin amoxicillin Tetracycline or practically any antibiotic don't forget to mention if someone asks that you're treating your horse throat with horse antibiotics Hmm and you know, I find it's really an insult to prostitutes when you call congressman horse I don't get it and maybe someone can explain this to me the fact that both congressman and journalists They both have about a 10% public approval rating yet People keep quoting the same lying journalists and voting in the same corrupt dickhead politicians like Biden who's never had a real job in his life He's been in government for 50 frickin years and he's supposed to make things right a guy who had 50 years in Congress 50 years to fix

[10:25] Things and did absolutely nothing except to help expand the bureaucracy to ridiculous proportions Alright, sorry about the rant. I'll calm down. But when you're pissed you're pissed anyway in this email Elena writes Hola, Johnny aside from taxing Americans living in other countries What benefit does the US government obtain from providing a tracking program for Americans to migrate to Mexico? Or to track Americans through immigration departments in whatever other country All right There's more to this email But let me answer Elena's questions sequentially as they come up Of course, she's referring to the fact that the US State Department has now given most all Latin American countries immigration Software to run on their computers. Well, you think they did that out of the goodness of their black little hearts?

[11:12] No, it's a way to track the sheep that have left a barn Well, Elena you ask what benefit the US government obtains from tracking Americans applying for residency in other countries It's obvious the US is completely and utterly broke They've already squeezed Americans living in the States to the tune of at least 50% taxes. I know it doesn't seem that way and people don't want to believe it when I mention it They say but I'm only in a 22% tax bracket or 27 or 18 Of course, they're referring to their federal tax bracket when Americans say that stuff to me I know their brain is operating on a very superficial level They haven't done any investigation into the subject at all And instead of arguing with them and trying to prove that they all are at least in a 50% tax bracket

[11:57] Instead of explaining and sometimes arguing I send them a little one-page report that lists over a hundred different taxes You pay whether you know it or not that add up to well over 50% of your income Governments are clever about it. They know the word tax is a harsh word Everyone hates taxes, but they're much more accepting of licenses fees assessments duties tolls tariffs levies and surcharges all of which are nothing but softer terms for the word tax and For those of you out there who still don't believe you're in the 50% or more tax bracket Send me an email the exhibit files at gmail.com and I will ship you off that little report Or maybe you don't want to know it'll just make you sad All right Next Elena says in her email Johnny I already know what you think about Mexico and obviously I have the opposite opinion or I would not be wanting to become a Mexican citizen

[12:48] Then she says in Spanish I don't have a right to have dual citizenship because my parents were both born in the United States All right, Ellen, you're wrong about that. You absolutely can be a dual citizen Hell Mexicans do it all the time when they become a US citizens. They never renounce their Mexican citizenship They're proud of it. They carry both passports And if you're a US citizen trying to go for Mexican citizenship, too, it's absolutely allowed In fact, let me read you this right off the US Embassy consulate website in Mexico It says US law does not mention dual nationality or require a person to choose one nationality or the other it further states a US citizen may Naturalize in a foreign state without any risk to his or her US citizenship

[13:33] However, US citizens will acquire a foreign nationality after age 18 may relinquish their US nationality if they wish to do so Provided they are citizens of another country and hold that passport, too By the way I don't suggest if you get another passport to consider relinquishing your US citizenship unless you make so much money outside the country That you're second by the worldwide taxation policies of the US government The problem is you see if you give up your US citizenship You'll get on all kinds of international thesis lists And if you decide to go back to the US even for just a quick trip to see the relatives Depending on the country passport you do hold you might have to go through the process of applying for a visa Like everyone else does coming from a third world country For example, if you have a Mexican passport, you can't just walk into the United States or get on a plane

[14:22] You'll have to go down to the US Embassy in Mexico and apply for a tourist visa Just like Mexicans do if they want to enter legally And that involves all kind of paperwork proof of bank accounts credit cards bank references good conduct reports That's why 9 out of 10 Mexicans sneak in because they can't fulfill all those requirements Like for example, you have to have a credit card not debit card with at least a $2,000 limit That seems to be the deal breaker for most Mexicans trying to get a US visa The thing is 80% of Latin Americans have debit cards and the 20% who have credit cards Their maximum is maybe 500 to a thousand bucks. So they can't qualify for a legal tourist visa to the US Anyway, that's what you'll be looking forward to if you renounce your US citizenship you'll have to enter the US on a tourist visa that is if you decide to pop back to the states once in a while and

[15:11] Whether or not you're given that visa based on the tourist visa regulations for the passport you're holding Besides that the immigration people on the US side are bound to give you crap when they find out you used to be a US citizen And renounced believe me, you'll get the looks and be treated somewhat like a foreign spy However, if you're a high roller and decide never to go back to the US Renouncing US citizenship might work out for you in the long run the main advantage being no more US taxes on worldwide income Alright, Elena's email continues She says Johnny the following question should be of interest to Americans who want to become Naturalized citizens in any country outside the US. The question is what is the risk of my losing Social Security income if I do that Of course, you might say that Social Security will be going belly-up that could happen perhaps

[15:57] But I wouldn't want to create a problem for myself ahead of time Alright, Elena. Good question. The thing is if you've paid into Social Security whether you're a US citizen or not You are eligible and will get it It's all about whether you've paid into the system or not because once you paid in you're legally in the system And they're bound to pay though There are certain countries around the world that are considered on the blacklist like Cuba, Georgia, Ukraine, Belarus, Vietnam Belarus, North Korea, Kazakhstan In fact most all of the stands countries gringos and expats don't normally take up residence in but if you do that just means the Social Security Department won't send checks to you or deposit them into a bank in that country You'll still get your Social Security But the question is where are they going to send it if you're in a country that's on the blacklist However, we're talking about very rare cases here. Oh and Elena you mentioned in your email that I might say that Social Security is gonna go belly-up

[16:49] Well, you know a long time ago in the 60s 70s 80s even 90s people might have said that Actuaries were always predicting just a few years out Social Security would run out of funds But that was before the United States invented the false profit madness of quantitative easing when in 2008 There was that world financial crisis all the big banksters got bailed out and the Fed declared They would print unlimited amounts of dough. That's why it's impossible for me to believe that Social Security will go broke and run out Hey Social Security's already broke. It's been that way for decades nothing But I will use in that fun yet the Fed won't let the checks ever stop They'll just keep printing more money old duffers and geezers will get their checks and direct deposits Though progressive inflation will take such a huge chunk out of it Most recipients living on Social Security alone will end up buying cat food and hamburger helper

[17:38] I understand a lot of them are doing that already and that's reason 2456 why it's so important to get the hell out of dodge and move to Latin America before it's too late Where you can still at least for a while Anyway live a decent first-world style life on a Social Security check alone Even though if you live in the States your Social Security check is not even up to the poverty line However in Latin America that kind of dough makes you solidly middle class And if you're way off the tourist trail closer to upper middle class My advice get the hell out of dodge you come to Latin America and enjoy the fact that you can live nicely on your Social Security check at least for the next couple of years because inflation is nibbling away at it Though I get some kickback from Social Security recipients who say Johnny the government factors in a cost of living

[18:23] Adjustment for inflation every year to which I respond the government never Calculates inflation and the cost of living like the real world does and though the government might give you a couple of points here And there for inflation however those increases are based on bad even fudge to government data government stats are not to be believed They exist in a different reality for example right now The government says there is around four to five percent inflation, and it's temporary of course yeah, right? It's all BS Whereas in reality if the United States calculated inflation statistics like they did back in the 60s and 70s We'd be at more than 20 percent inflation per year right now You can look it up for yourself on the website shadow stats calm there You'll see how the government used to calculate inflation when people had more faith and trust in their government unlike today where the lies are

[19:11] Right in your face, but back to Elena's email. Hope I'm saying that right is it Elena or Elena anyway She says to become a Mexican citizen Johnny. I will have to renounce my u.s. Citizenship Well Elena as just mentioned you're wrong about that unless of course you choose to do so then she says you said Johnny in a Previous episode in order to renounce US citizenship I would have to pay about two thousand dollars to the US government something I would not choose to do, but they would perhaps do it for free to get rid of people on Social Security All right me Johnny here again Elena That would be possible But the government would have to change the law and give you the option to opt out of Social Security and then drop that Payment to the government just to renounce That's a possibility and the government would be smart to do that But since when is the government ever been smart you know Elena if that was an option?

[19:58] I think lots of people would go for it, but alas. It's not anyway She says what about crossing back to the states for shopping and visiting friends if I use my u.s. Passport to go back and forth across the border. I fear. I would be losing my Mexican citizenship Elena Elena think about the fact there are millions of Mexicans living in the United States right now who are American citizens. They've been nationalized They're also holding their Mexican passports none of them give them up and they cross back and forth all the time Legally, and you can do it too, then she says Johnny speaking of that effing border the last time We went up from Mexico to the United States It was 2018 we went across at three in the morning because we couldn't find a hotel in Mexicali That would allow our dogs one hound one wolf braid and two pit bulls to stay there. Oh, yes

[20:47] I know how you feel about dog hairs. That's truly anal Johnny Wait a minute wait a minute me John here now Elena. I'm not anal about dog hairs just practical I've had dogs all my life mostly big dogs I'm just saying I think it's a disservice to mostly the dog actually if you have a long-haired dog in tropical climates They have long hair for a reason believe me It's not because they want to chase crabs on the beach or hang around the pool I tell you long-haired dogs are miserable at low altitudes in the tropics and bugs and ticks love that long hair, too Though it is true long-haired dogs can thrive rather nicely in the Altiplano everyone does Except the odd Canadian obsessed with hockey. Oh and Elena You know how long-haired dogs shed now, of course If you have a living cleaning lady or a lady that comes in two or three times a week

[21:35] She'll handle the hair problem But I know lots of gringos expats and Latinos whose living room couch is like a dog hair pelt And if avoiding sitting on that thing makes me anal call me guilty as charged Anyway, Elena says after hunting down a hotel that would allow her and her dogs the next day She says we went back to Mexicali for lunch And when returning to California, we accidentally got in the wrong line She says the border control guys gave us hell We asked if we could just go back on the Mexican side and start over but their answer was no And if we did it again, we would be fined $5,000 they made us sit aside with our dogs while they thoroughly inspected our truck then she says Selo agradezco si puede contestar mes preguntas gracias, which means more or less

[22:21] I'd be happy if you could answer these questions, Johnny. Thank you Signed Elena or Elena Well, Elena, stay tuned for this next email Spelling out even more devious things happening with Mexican immigration Things are changing and it's not good for gringos and expats who don't have residency Alright, this email comes from our man in Oaxaca He's been living quite a few years there Listen to what he's got to say about the recent immigration problems going on there He says Johnny Mexico seems to really have tightened down on serial tourist visas and perpetual tourist types In just these past few months, too You probably saw Secretary of State Blinken and crew sitting down with Mexico's president a month or so ago Across a classically long negotiating table at Propo for a meeting of crime bosses and their higher-ups

[23:08] And apparently one of the issues was a major tightening of immigration and visas Including cracking down on serial tourist gringle visas For example, friends just drove down here from Laredo and reported the Guardia Nationale, Mexicano Road Troopers, who by the way used to be in dark cars with Federales logo and usually quite corrupt and predatory And now all rolled into the National Guard with newer cars and whiter paint jobs The chip shortages haven't stopped them from getting new cars Anyway, it's been reported that they were pulling buses over right and left in the corridor between Mexico City and the USA border Check in everyone's papers With rumors now of expired tourist visa types, gringos that is, simply being detained and then exported In fact, the classic 10-year temporary import permit, if you've got an RV, is seemingly canceled now with no more given out at all

[23:58] Bad news for RV snowbird road warriors The push is to force gringos and expats into residency or kick them out So databases are syncing up now to squash border visa runners on a national basis From experience, I can tell you that in the past each border hefe, the sweaty fat ass slug in charge Ran his fiefdom as he saw fit For example, at the Belize Chetumal Mexican border, those guys are supposedly extremely corrupt and predatory He says the one I've used over the past three or four years to do the border run Is a crossing just 10 miles or so north northeast of Tapachula, a pleasant enough road trip every six months for me It's always been extremely laid back and I could waltz over to the Guatemala side of the little bridge

[24:44] And then easily bribe the Guatemalan immigration guys to stamp me in and out That's a mexican immigration requirement to get a new 180-day permit to stay in mexico It always took me just about an hour to knock out the whole process he says In fact, he says for the past few years I never even had to make up a story for the mexican guys on that side of the border You know why I keep coming back and forth every 180 days though I had a standby story Prepared if necessary that I was some old wavehead surfer who lives out of my van A guy who meanders back and forth to the mexican coast a couple times a year to hit the waves and get that surfer fix Until now I never even had to use that story because it's very clear and it has been for some time That my entire mexican border in and out history is right there on the immigration computer screen

[25:33] And up to now, anyway, the immigration guys have not cared about the reasons and have been super friendly However, it depends on the border you're crossing because 100 miles north or so at the tiny la messilla crossing The boss immigration slug the hefe was a ball buster who nailed me big time once And his new replacement a tough-ass woman is reputed to be even worse than he But the long and short of it is things have really changed just recently, too All that had gone down in the past is seemingly cancelled now And I suspect even the laid-back office at talisman is going to be beholden to some random edict Coming from mexico city to no longer give out any new tourist visas to well proven and documented serial revolving door visa types like me Yes, johnny i'd say the gig is up

[26:20] And finally our man in ohaka says, you know johnny in 1998 and before when i'd go to mexico The immigration guy would have a triplicate book write some stuff down and give me one of those triplicate papers for my efforts That was my proof. I had a tourist visa And behind that immigration window, I could see bulging files and cabinets just full of faded folded water stained Dog-eared papers littered with spider parts. It was pure chaos. Unfortunately those days are gone So then where's the easiest checkpoint to make a quick payoff and get in and out? Funny thing one guatemalan immigration head once told me he had two or three guys like me a week Just popping in and out doing the payoff shuffle A consistent money maker though. I'm sure the covid at 19 bs has really choked that thing way back

[27:08] Then finally our man in ohaka says johnny as a result I think many more freedom-minded gringos will skip mexico and go farther south as mexico really tightens down on immigration Then he says johnny if you made it this far through this email I hope a small population of errant gringos will find this info somewhat useful if not dimly illuminating Yours truly our man in ohaka You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america If you need some help with your own plan b we can schedule a one-on-one phone or skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week long expat insider seminar in central america Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan b

[27:54] Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com