#777 – The Expat Files: Fitness, Wealth, and Golf in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border, down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play And now that I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to The Expat Files, living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live, work, play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good, the bad, the ugly and the great And it's all right here so let's get started Alright here's something that definitely needs talking about Don't think I've ever really gone into detail on this one So let's start out with an email that kind of says it all It says, Hi Johnny, if possible, could you do an episode on fitness and sports in Latin America

[00:46] I'm particularly interested in the cost of things like gym memberships, personal trainers, etc I've always been interested in boxing and you know that's still a popular sport in Latin America Are boxing gyms available for fitness minded people that aren't interested in competing? Are they safe for gringos? Do you have to go to a bad part of town to find them? Those are the questions I have Then he says, I've used a personal trainer in the past and would love to continue with one But where I live the rates are around $60 per hour, which is way outside my budget I assume the price varies across countries, but what's the average rate going down there in Latin America? Hey John, thanks for the info And that comes from longtime listener JW Then there's this email on basically pretty much the same thing

[01:34] And by the way, I don't just get a few emails The other day I deleted 8,000 And probably a good hundred or so of those came from Nigerian princes Offering to share their millions with me if I only fork over my bank account numbers And you know when you get those Nigerian emails You gotta wonder who taught those guys how to do an introduction to an email or a letter I mean they almost always start out something like my dearest beloved one Or something that sounds like it's out of a Charles Dickens novel By the way, I actually spoke with a guy from Nigeria And he said you can see a lot of rich Nigerians wearing all kinds of bling and stuff And they're doing those scams They're kind of the heroes of Nigeria if you can believe that And as for me, I think anyone who falls for one of those scams deserves it So anyway, I do get emails

[02:19] And this one also on the sports and fitness theme says Hey Johnny, I'm a tennis and racquetball player Play almost every day And I was wondering if I move to Latin America And rent in one of those gated garden communities you talk about I assume like garden communities here in Cincinnati where I come from They have tennis courts, pool, a small gym, and a pavilion for social activities, right? I understand it's the same in Latin America Sounds good on paper, but my question is With all you say about the lack of maintenance in Latin America If I rent in one of those nice communities Are they going to do the upkeep on the tennis court? The swimming pool in the common facilities Or is it going to be nice, shiny, spic and span while new But eventually kind of look like one of the Hispanic neighborhoods here in Cincinnati

[03:08] You see Johnny, I'm a detail guy Even kind of anal And I don't want to rent or buy in a complex Where things aren't maintained to decent standards Oh, and what's the golf course situation like there in Latin America? I know there are wealthy people in every country in the world And therefore every country, even communist countries Have golf courses and clubs As for me, I'm a weekend golfer and have a golf club membership And of course, the more you pay for your membership The nicer the club and the course That means fewer people, less hackers, and the easier it is to get on And with less use, the greens and fairways are always nicer too So Johnny, I know you reported on the fact that in Antigua, Guatemala There was a first class PGA course that was destroyed by a volcano So I guess I'm not moving there any time soon

[03:56] So I guess I just need the lowdown on the sports and leisure activities and what to expect Hopefully it's a lot like or at least similar to what we have up in the States So I don't have to adapt too, too much Though I understand it's going to be a hell of a lot hotter on the course down there Than it is in Cincy Though I suppose, like anything, to get exactly what you want You have to do it yourself So maybe I'll live a little bit outside a big Latin city By a half acre or so Build a house and put a tennis court in myself Of course, Johnny, I probably never would be able to afford doing that up here in the States And even if I could, I could never afford the help to do the upkeep Because, you know, having a tennis court of your own Does have its associated maintenance and upkeep costs And as I understand it from your broadcast, you can pay a person $15 or $20 a day

[04:42] To do gardening, maintenance, and upkeep, etc. And though I don't doubt that it's true, I really have to see it to believe it All I can say, Johnny, is you and all your expat friends must really be living large To tell you the truth, when I listen to your shows, a lot of times I'm jealous I can't tell you how much I dream of being a part of that Then he says in two years, I'll be retiring and I'll get about a $40,000 a year pension And to be honest, Johnny, it really does seem like a pipe dream to be able to live a first-world life Somewhere in Latin America, of course And have a full-time maid and gardener or maintenance man, too I still can't believe it's possible on something like $40,000 a year I'm one of those guys, I happen to see it for myself, Johnny So I am coming down to get some boots on the ground Then he finishes off by saying, thanks for the shows, Johnny

[05:29] I've listened to every single one of them Rudy from Sin, Sinetti Alright, Rudy, thanks for that one A lot of things there to address, but let me just address the pension and the $40,000 a year thing first Now, you long-time listeners might remember me talking about my friend who owns a few sweatshops That's what they call him here in Latin America, the common vernacular, but they really aren't In fact, over the years, he's owned and operated a dozen of them From Honduras to Jamaica, Guatemala, Salvador, Mexico Even in the Middle East, he's owned and operated maquilas throughout the world And after all that, what country do you think he likes the best and where he's finally settled And still has a couple of those businesses Why, Guatemala City, of all places, smack dab on the U.S. State Department's f*** list

[06:15] Now, usually, I take my ex-pad insider's seminar group to see him at one of his factories And he gives a little spiel for around an hour telling the good, bad, ugly, and the great About his own life and his experiences in Latin America And why, he ended up in Guatemala, of all places Even though he's got the dough and the brains to live anywhere in the world By the way, he's half Canadian and half New Yorker And while he's given his little spiel to my group, I always say, Mr. J, can you explain what you own personally and what your expenses are? In other words, give us kind of a rough idea of what your cost of living is Now, remember, my buddy, Mr. J, lives the high life In the States, you'd call it upper-middle class to wealthy And here's the breakdown He's got a 5,000-plus-square-foot luxury home in Guatemala City

[07:02] With three full-time maids and a full-time gardener He's got a very nice beach house right on the Pacific Ocean That he visits maybe once or twice a month And he's got a small auxiliary little house on the property Where a couple lives, the gardener-slash-maintenance guy and his wife Who's the maid and when they come for their weekends She used to cook and all that, too So in all, he's got six, count them, six full-time employees Of course, he's married, he's got a wife, and he's got a kid, too Who's around 14 years old And goes to the most expensive helicopter school in all of Central America And probably all of Latin America, too He pays about 1,500 bucks a month for that school About 10 grand a year because there's a nine-month school year

[07:48] He admits he could have sent his kid to a lot cheaper helicopter school That would be just as good in every way I believe his kid's in ninth grade right now Anyway, he says he could send his kid to an equivalent school For around maybe three to five hundred bucks a month But he said he'd rather pay the 1,500 a month Because all the entitled little rich kids at that school Have parents who are extremely wealthy and connected In politics, business, they're Latin American movers and shakers So in a way, it's a Latin version of an Ivy League school It's not about the education, but the connections That you make. For example, a person might graduate From Harvard with a useless MBA And as soon as he walks out, he instantly gets a job For 120K because his roommate's dad owned a brokerage firm

[08:35] Meanwhile, a similar guy at Texas A&M gets his MBA And he's even smarter than the original guy at Harvard And if he's lucky, he gets a job quickly Maybe working at H&R Block for maybe 60 grand a year So that's my buddy's reasoning And it's very sound reasoning here in Latin America Why he sends his kid to the most expensive helicopter school around But where were we? Oh, yeah Cost of living for my buddy Mr. J and his family Let's see, he's got three nice cars Two houses, a nice beach house, and the other one pretty much a mansion They live a very nice upscale life Go out quite a bit to eat and such And get this, he even sends the kids of his maids to school No, not a helicopter school like he does for his own kid But a nice, basic, inexpensive private school

[09:23] Which is much better than any of the crappy old public schools That don't even have consistent electric power or even running water So then you might ask, what's a low-end private school like that cost? Well, around 100 bucks a month That's quite a huge spread compared to the 1500 he's paying for his kid But remember, 100 bucks a month is about a third of a month's salary For the average Latin worker Which is why about 90% of all the kids in Latin America Go through those crummy, cheap government schools Why? Because they're free Now, admittedly, he owns his main house and beach house outright So he pays no rent But he has nice cars, first rate car insurance and healthcare insurance That's everything you have up in the first world and more In the end, when you add it all up

[10:09] Utilities, cell phones, internet, food, dining, six full-time employees The total from the horse's mouth? 60 grand a year 6-0 I'll say it again 60 grand a year And that, by the way, is one of the main reasons I bring my expat insider seminar group to meet him So he can explain how the upper crusts, so-called high rollers, live Of course, we're talking about living off the gringo tourist trail here And on the trail, it will probably cost half again as much as Mr. J's example So that means as far as the average expat going to be or want to be Coming down with a wife and a kid Although, in most instances, as far as bringing a kid down That's not the usual case People come down here as singles or couples

[10:55] Very few kids are in on the deal Usually, they're still going to university up in the States Or are out on their own But hypothetically speaking, just imagine a husband, a wife, and a kid Come down and live in a very nice area in a big Latin city Or outside a Latin city They have, let's say, a full-time maid and a gardener But no beach house, not yet anyway That might come in the future, who knows? Anyway, in that case, to live a nice first-world life It's hard to imagine they'd spend more than 30 grand a year Meanwhile, that kind of dough, 30 grand a year Up in the States will get you the kind of lifestyle That would certainly include daily rations of mac and cheese Cat food and hamburger helper By the way, here's a question Do you know anyone up in the States who has a full-time living maid? If you do, that person, the boss, is certainly rich

[11:42] Or at least their income is in the upper 1% Something like $250,000 a year or more And still, $250,000 a year just might not be enough To be able to comfortably afford a full-time living maid Because remember, whatever you make, you're pretty much in a 50% tax bracket With all the hundreds of taxes you pay each year Most of them out of sight, out of mind, like licensing fees Utility taxes, property taxes, gas taxes, etc So even if you make $250,000 a year Which sounds like a nice hefty sum, right? Chances are, you don't bring home any more than $150,000 a year And to have a full-time maid, that'll cost you at least $30,000 to $40,000 extra a year And if she's on the books, which is likely, you'll be paying healthcare

[12:29] Social security, unemployment insurance, and Because she's a living maid, you'll be paying room and board, too That means in total, you'll be shelling out at least $40,000 a year, probably $50,000 Of course, we're talking stateside now So really, even at $250,000 a year, it would be a stretch To think you could comfortably afford a maid So again, I'll ask the question, do you know anyone who's got a full-time living maid? Well, maybe some of you do, but do you know anyone who's got 2, 3, 4, 5, or even 6 full-time domestic employees? If you do, surely You're talking about someone who makes well over a million bucks a year And probably has 3 or 4 vacation homes and properties, too Maybe even a jet or a helicopter But I digress, as usual, worry me

[13:14] Oh, yeah Sports, fitness, and golfing, tennis, boxing, etc. Alright, first, let's talk about health clubs Yep, they're everywhere And there are a lot of very high-end health clubs, too These days, you'll find all prices and varieties of different health clubs In small, medium, and large Latin cities But the high-end ones that are totally American style, like those Gold's Gym or World Gym clones They're almost always in or very near a high-end luxury mall As far as the very high-end gyms, which can cost up to 50 bucks a month if you're paying by the month With a 10 or 20% discount if you pay 6 months of product a year The thing is, if you walk into one of those places, that's where you're going to see the helicopter and bodyguard crowd Just check out the parking lot and look for those dark-colored SUVs with heavily tinted windows

[14:01] And guys in suits with earbuds that don't work, and you'll know what I mean Alright, so that's what you find in the high-end districts But even in the middle class and lower middle class districts, they have plenty of health clubs, too And surprisingly enough, some of them are very well equipped And they're not dank, rough, and scruffy around the edges, as you might imagine Though, of course, as with any gym, even up in the States, the older they are, the scruffier they seem to be And as Expediti says, they all start smelling like fresh ass eventually Ew And the odd thing is, you could find a very nice, new, well-equipped gym in a middle or lower middle class district That's just as nice as any gym in a high-end district Of course, without those stuck-up, gringo wannabe women in their designer clothes And of course, no bodyguards and such for half the price or less than the ones in the high-end districts

[14:51] So if you go to a health club where the bodyguard crowd hangs out You might pay 40 or 50 a month, and for pretty much exactly the same thing In a middle class or working class area, 20 or maybe 25 bucks a month With 20% off if you pay 6 months or a year ahead Problem is, those middle and lower middle class districts are quite dingy and scruffy and, frankly, depressing Though the gym in the area, if it's relatively new, could be absolutely first class So for health clubs, just like real estate, it's location, location, location Oh, and another thing you'll find with those very high-end health clubs There'll be times when the place is absolutely empty The truth is, people who have memberships in health clubs located in lower middle class and middle class areas They're much more serious about working out

[15:37] Why? Because they have less disposable income And if they're going to buy a gym membership, man, they're going to use it Whereas wealthy people will join health clubs and use them very sporadically Only because it's all the fashion to join, and it's a place to see and be seen Although there's that 2 to 5% of people who join things, like health clubs, who are deadly serious about it So called fitness addicts Which is exactly how golf memberships work here in Latin America And they've got great golf courses too And the nice thing is, unlike courses in America, they're almost always empty Because for the wealthy, it's the fashionable thing to do It's the gringo thing to do That is, get a membership as bragging rights, whether you're golf or not So there's a membership fee, and that instantly cuts out the lower middle classes, middle classes, and most of even the upper middle classes

[16:28] So it's mostly the Latin wealthy gringo wannabes who get golf club memberships Again, it's about the bragging rights and to see and be seen So if you come down to Latin America, you'll have no trouble finding a golf course nearby So what about those membership fees? I've heard anywhere from $20,000 to $100,000 Then after you're in, you pay a perpetual monthly maintenance fee And as mentioned, they're not open to the public, so how does a gringo without a membership Or a Latin friend with a membership in guest privileges golf there Well, oddly enough, that's where your gringo advantage kicks in Because you can pretty much walk up to any clubhouse and say, look, I'm thinking about getting a membership here Can I go out and hack 18? And guess what? They'll usually say, go ahead, no problem But you'll have to pay a guest fee

[17:14] I know a few gringos who do that repeatedly Or you can do what lots of gringo golf enthusiasts do when they move down to Latin America They rent their membership by the month Because with each course, there is a long list of Latins who are members, fully paid up But they never golf, isn't that funny? And you know, most nice golf courses, like the ones up in the States They have homes and townhouses and condos around them And if you buy one, you automatically get a membership And you listeners who have country club memberships up in the States Know that you have a hefty monthly fee, could be up to 500 bucks a month Whether you use the course or not, it's a maintenance fee And it's perpetual, aha So, people in Latin America who bought condos or houses on golf courses and have memberships And they don't golf, guess what they'll do?

[18:01] They'll rent out those memberships strictly to cover their maintenance fee And you know, these owners, they may have plenty of dough, they may be rich But they still got to dig into their pockets every month and pay a fee For something they just don't use, they're paying for a dead horse, so to speak In fact, a great example of exactly that was when good old John Gulf A terrific golfer who went to university on a golf scholarship Came down, looking for a golf course In fact, he came to one of my very first Latin insider seminars And he said, Johnny, where's the golf course? And he found a spectacular one, called La Reunion Happened to be the one that got buried by the volcano a couple of months ago But for years, he rented a membership for 250 bucks a month From some old rich Latin lady who owned a townhouse on the course

[18:48] And therefore had a full membership But she didn't golf What else is new? And her membership, available for rent, was snapped up by John Gulf for 250 bucks a month And you know, every time good old John Gulf talked about that deal he made with that old lady He'd just shake his head in disbelief, he'd say No one's ever going to believe this back home To have this kind of deal in the States, I'd be paying 2 grand a month for sure Plus, the initial membership fee And for a course like this, he said at least 100 grand Oh, by the way, do you want to hear a golf story about me? You know, way back when, when I was a kid in the burbs of Chicago We lived just two or three blocks from a nice nine-hole municipal golf course And during the summertime, that three or four months we had off of school

[19:35] Our parents would just shove us out of the house in the morning and say Come back for lunch, and if you eat lunch at one of your friends' house, be home by dark You could do that back then, but these days, social services will come in and take the kids away And put the parents in counseling Anyway, it just so happened, there was this municipal golf course a couple blocks from my house And every summer day, it started when I was around 8 years old My mom would give me 35 cents and send me out to the golf course Because the golf course had a deal going If you were 12 or under, you could play for 35 cents Now, in today's funny money, with inflation, probably be more like 3 to 5 bucks Anyway, with 6 kids in the family, there was no money for golf clubs But my mom had a ladies set that she bought with S&H green stamps Remember those?

[20:20] They were little stamps you'd get when you go to the grocery store and gas station If you filled enough books, you could redeem them for products like toasters And corn poppers, luggage, baseball gloves, etc So anyway, all summer, for years, I'd go golfing practically every day Unless it was raining And best yet, usually I'd get to keep the 35 cents Why? Because one of my sisters worked as a cashier and receptionist at the clubhouse How convenient for me, huh? For her, it was a summer job in the city And for me, it was like Christmas every day Because not only could I golf for free, she was in charge of the food counter too Come on, how cool was that for a little kid? Like winning the lottery every day So anyways, luck in time would have it, I became a very good golfer Tall and lean as I was I could kill the ball and was very good on the long putt game too

[21:06] In fact, I was so good when I was 12 years old I won the citywide tournament for kids of my age And then in high school, I was in line for a golf scholarship But I took the engineering one instead Even though my buddies were all pissed off, you know When you're young and stupid in high school, you get a lot of pressure from your buddies And going to school on a golf scholarship, man, that was cool Engineering, boring, boring, boring, and worse, most likely Little or no female contact That's what engineering school was all about back then But I wasn't too much concerned with that Because I played nights in a rock and roll band Man, I'll tell you, playing in a rock and roll band does wonders For an engineering student's social life Anyway, being that I was kind of a golf hotshot at a young age And kids, especially older kids, like to challenge me I'll never forget this one guy named Carl Sharfinski

[21:52] A big old bruiser bully A couple years older than me, was in my foursome one day I was around 12 years old I was whooping his ass, and as we came around to the ninth hole He took my set of clubs and threw them in the creek My mom's clubs, no less And by the way, I was never embarrassed that I was using ladies' clubs I was just happy to have clubs So I fished him out, got all muddy, went home crying Told my mom and dad what happened My mom made my dad call his dad Back then, he just looked up names in the phone book My dad phoned his old man up, and guess what? About an hour later, a car pulls up A big old Polish bruiser, this guy's dad, gets out of the car And he's about 6'4", 250 pounds, all muscle He drags his big bruiser kid, Carl, out of the car

[22:37] Comes up to the front door with his hand In a vice grip on the back of his own kid's neck Makes him apologize, and then proceeds To kick the crap out of his own kid Right in my front yard And by then, all the neighbors were watching Hey, back then, that's the kind of stuff that happened In Chicago neighborhoods But the problem was, you see, I knew someday I'd see him again and was really afraid Of what he was going to do to me next And I did run into him again at the golf course Couple weeks later, thinking for sure I was going to pay the price He actually said hi and didn't threaten me at all So I figured he was much more afraid of his dad Than he was interested in getting even Oh, and back then, when people said Why didn't you take that golf scholarship? Well, I knew I wasn't that great And that'd probably end up in a pro shop Selling ugly plaid pants

[23:23] And giving lessons to fat rich guys And their wives That's the thing, I knew I was good But not quite good enough to be in the money Plus, I'm not big on sports So my heart wasn't really in it Which just goes to show you really could be Good at something and not necessarily like it Again, it's all about that 10,000 hour thing You've heard about that, right? Meaning, practically, with any skill You want to develop, if you put 10,000 hours Or more into it, you can't help But be in the top 1% That includes playing the piano, guitar Fixing cars, plumbing, writing Painting, blowing glass, whatever For example, you hear stories about people like Jimi Hendrix, sitting for 6 hours a day Every day, in his basement, playing his guitar He got his 10,000 hours in our ride So, whatever you do, if you put 10,000 hours into it You'll be in the top 1%

[24:09] Though you might not be the absolute best at it For example, Jimi Hendrix was considered The very best of all on electric guitar Not only for his 10,000 hours But for his creative mind But what people don't realize is that His fingers were half again as long As the average person's Check out one of his videos some time Same as many of the great pianists They have extra long fingers But I digress as usual, man Did I digress? Sorry about that Alright, so in that original email JW said, what about personal Trainers in Latin America? He says he Pays like 60 bucks an hour, or He doesn't want to pay 60 bucks an hour It's too expensive Well, I can tell you this for a fact All the major health clubs in Latin America Have a few fitness trainers on hand And much of the time, they'll help you out for nothing But it's a preferential macho kind of system

[24:54] Turns out, if you happen to be One of the better looking ladies You'll get a lot of extra personal trainer attention This is a macho society, you know And of course, you can't opt to make a deal With a trainer and get personal attention Every time you come into the gym And that costs anywhere from 5 to 20 bucks an hour Depending how you negotiate your deal Oh, and here's something that always makes me laugh When I walk into one of the gyms And see the personal trainers Helping people out Man, just like in the States These guys have perfect bodies They're all cut up Great definition Six pack abs, the works But as you get closer to one of these guys And see these things in perspective Suddenly, you start to realize A lot of them are not much over 5 feet tall So is it overcompensation for the short man syndrome That got him into fitness and training?

[25:42] Hey, sounds plausible to me In fact, just the other day I was having a conversation With a nice looking young Latin lady And we're talking about What Latin women find attractive in men And surprisingly enough One of the top issues with her was a man's height She said for first impressions It doesn't matter how good looking Or how perfect the guy's body is If he's shorter than she is It's just not going to happen And that's the way it is with most Latin women Again with the gringo advantage, huh? Now, you've heard me talk about this big time obesity problem Here in Latin America So I brought that up to her too I said, what about dating men Con panzones grandes That's pot bellies She said, you could always work on that But you can't work on short Then she said, the people she really feels sorry for

[26:27] Are very tall Latin women They're rare, but sometimes you see A 5 foot 10 or even 6 foot Latina So as far as finding a compatible guy They're SOL They just have to settle for short Because probably only 1 in 2000 Latin guys Is 6 foot tall And as for you ladies, you gringas How much weight do you put on the short issue When it comes to mating, dating, and romance Because if you come down here to Latin America Looking for love in all the wrong cantinas Chances are short, dark, and handsome Is what you're going to end up with And finally JW says in his email What about boxing and boxing gyms and rings And boxing competitions and events Well, I'll tell you, most all gyms have boxing rings And there are lots and lots of competitive events In all weight classes

[27:12] And yes, believe it or not Even in the scruffiest parts of town The gyms themselves are absolutely safe And you know, some of the greatest world class boxers Come from Latin America You know, the macho, camacho types and all that So whether you like competing yourself Or just watching There are no shortages of boxing events In any Latin city You've been listening to The Expat Files Living in Latin America If you need some help with your own Plan B You can schedule a one-on-one phone call with me But first, download my free Plan B Questionnaire at www.thenewexpat.com Better yet, if you want to get your Plan B Going from right up there in the states Just sign up for my 9-hour Expat Essentials course Get the perfect Plan B blueprint By going to theexpatfiles.com Slash Academy

[27:58] Los bemos