#766 – The Expat Files: Halloween in Costa Rica, Political Corruption, and Life in Uruguay

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Hey, you know the other day was talking about expat Eddie stories, right? Haven't had those in a while I promised to get to a few choice ones, but I do remember this one boy It just popped in my head today while I was working out, you know, it happened around Halloween. I know it's not the season

[00:48] It's not near Halloween though. It is approaching rapidly, right? Anyway, we both happen to be in Costa Rica and you know since Costa Rica is just filled with gringos They celebrate Halloween quite heavily because everyone's on vacation, right? And the hotels and the beach bars all have Halloween parties you come in a costume and they give up prizes You know and some gringos in the expats because Halloween's a big thing up in the States go all out in their costumes even if they're on vacation, they'll go to use in vintage clothes stores and buy tuxedos top hats band uniforms and Go as Michael Jackson that kind of stuff and this incident happened before the walking dead I mean these days eighty percent of people go to Halloween parties as zombies. Ooh, how creative and scary Brilliant idea, huh? Anyway, Eddie and I made the rounds to various Halloween parties at hotels in San Jose

[01:36] We were in town. We weren't doing the beach thing That's about two and a half hours away and because of all the gringos Halloween parties were big now We were reading at the last minute in the Tico times That's the longest running local gringo tourist drag by the way If you go online and check that thing out You can see how really expensive the real estate is in Costa Rica and everything else In fact, I got an email from a gringo about two months ago saying hey It's more expensive than New York in Costa Rica. Oh, no, you know, like six seven bucks for a beer Who'da-thunk, right? That's gringo tourist trail all the way Of course if you go out in the boonies where there are just a few gringos I mean they're everywhere but out in the boonies in towns of maybe three or four thousand There's no real action for gringo. So you don't see too many of them And you can find a tienda and you get a beer for two bucks

[02:22] But where were we? Oh, yeah So Eddie and I are looking in the Tico times and there has to be at least 15 bars and hotels and cetera advertising Halloween parties and prizes for the best costumes and being it was last minute We weren't prepared. We had nothing special for costumes. It's usually the women who go all out for that kind of stuff I mean look in most Latin cities now they've got a number of theatrical stores that rent costumes and such And we did stop into one of those places They wanted something like 50 bucks to rent a hulk or batman costume and they were handmade Look like they were silk screened on baggy long johns. I mean, come on There's nothing worse than a limp ass superman batman or spider-man costume, huh? So we nixed that I figured i'd go cheap and dirty Had black pants black shirt turn the collar inside out and did my favorite catholic priest imitation

[03:14] I do a good one, you know Hey, I know it's not original especially in a catholic country But you carry a bible around with you and a rosary and man i'll tell you it works wonders at airports and land borders, too So it took me all of 10 minutes to work up my priest get up and eddie is looking through his closet and he comes up with A superman t-shirt now just a t-shirt with a big s on it, right? He dons it puts a white shirt over it With a loose tie. He had some cheap sunglasses with a dead black frame He popped the lenses out of him combed his hair nicely with a little curl hanging down on his forehead And guess what he looked just like clark kent i'm telling you so you got a picture of this We'd walk into discos and hotel halloween parties me as a catholic priest with a coheba cigar and eddie with his white shirt

[04:00] unbuttoned Tie-hanging his shirt pulled way back at the buttons in that classic post Everyone knows when clark kent is just about to jump into a phone booth and turn into superman, you know Come to think of it these days. There are no phone booths for superman to change Anyway with eddie. It was perfect. You see the s popping through the sort of crinkled white shirt and for the topper He had a piece of red tablecloth tucked in the back of his pants So it looks like his cape was starting to hang out And you know, we hit four or five places and everyone was cracking up when they saw eddie And you know, there were gringos who spent a lot of time and money on the usual suspects paper mache heads and dicks Yeah, you ever notice there's always a dick or two at a halloween party in more ways than one

[04:47] But eddie was the one getting all the attention. He was cracking people up So anyway, we figure hey eddie's got a chance to win something here and most places are giving away bottles of booze kayak and water rafting trips even beach hotel weekends But one hotel I think it was the del rey the top prize was a 500 credit at a really nice restaurant in downtown san jose And I forgot the name of it. Anyway, wouldn't you know it eddie won? Of course, we had a really good rooting section when the judging began plus both eddie and I knew one of the judges Little pull there. So anyway a couple of months went by I said eddie by the way Whatever happens at a 500 restaurant thing now remember eddie lives in el salvo or but he had a restaurant or two In costa rica at the time he said it was great Johnny claudia and I went there about a week after I won and we spent something like 85 bucks

[05:34] Then he said we went back about a week later and guess what? The place was boarded up out of business. I think he said that was the plan Hey, this is latin america. You got to expect the unexpected Now I have to remind you that this halloween thing here in latin america is very new It only really caught on here maybe five or six years ago before that it was more or less frowned upon like a satanic holiday We're talking about very catholic countries here And it really was the gringo tourist to spread the word, you know But now pretty much all the latinos have gotten into the act and you heard me say in a past show They even trick or treat down here, but only in gated guarded communities By the way, are there laws against trick or treating by you? It wouldn't surprise me one bit So anyway halloween has caught on you know latin's any reason for a fiesta and halloween fits the bill nicely

[06:21] In fact, you can probably expect soon enough. They'll be making it a national holiday, you know another day off What's that make it now five work days and 360 holidays here in latin america? Just kidding But it seems that way, you know now you might be wondering why did I bring up that story at all? Especially now a couple of months before halloween. Well, it's just another really good life example of less is more Which is why it's never a good idea when you finally get down here to latin america get that plan b going To start accumulating crap like you did up in the states, man I can't tell you how many emails I get from people saying johnny, you know what? I really think I gotta ship a container down I got so much stuff and I don't think I can buy it down there or it's going to be too expensive And you know what I say by the time you count up the expenses to have a container ship Plus the insurance and the taxes on the stuff you'll bring into the country

[07:09] You're looking at five to eight grand and i'll tell you once you land here in latin america If you can't outfit your house or apartment down here with all the basics first world style on five to eight grand man You'd better postpone the trip and brush up on your math skills Now I have a much more serious and in-depth expat eddie's story about love romance mating dating and stupid gringos in love That'll be coming up in the next couple shows but Got some more things to talk about right now first. So all right People love ecuador, you know, it's on international living's top 10 hit list for the best retirement places in the world But did you know former president correa? The guy supposedly responsible for turning ecuador around after it was bankrupt and his currency turned to crap According to an article that just came out in panama's biggest newspaper and i'll translate this it's in spanish

[07:58] And by the way, you'll probably never get this news up in the states. It says the top F-a-r-c that's fark leadership. Remember those guys They're the guerrillas that own the boonies out in columbia and are in control of all those cocaine crops You know the fark rebels and all that anyway, the article says top fark leadership contributed a half a million dollars to rafael correa's presidential campaign according to testimony from top fark leader alias chorizo That means sausage in english a former gorilla top henchmen of the fark and now under the witness protection program In the columbian justice system He says I mean senor sausage says that former ecuadorian president rafael correa was financed by the fark during his

[08:46] Presidential campaigns and that he el chorizo was in charge of the clandestine payments So you're wondering and I was wondering too. Why would they even bother? Why would fark give a damn about what's happened in an ecuador and the presidential race there since the fark is pretty much completely a columbian Based organization. Well, the article explains that alexander chorizo aka senor sausage Stated that the deal was for fark gorillas to pass into ecuador and vote for korea During his presidential elections the negotiated an agreement whereby members of the fark had indefinite permission to visit ecuador And the deal was directed at a certain fark camp right on the columbian ecuador border But within ecuadorian territory, so thousands of these guys could vote for korea and senor chorizo

[09:36] senor sausage Testified the deal wasn't only for votes korea had to do something else once he got elected president He was to immediately cancel the lease of a us military base nearby Which they said interfered with their cocaine operations. Well, you'd think right? But then again, the u.s has always been into the drugs for guns thing, you know Anyway, the article says true to his word when korea became president The first thing he did was to ask the u.s to remove that military base and he canceled the lease for that land Hmm, then they quote senor chorizo. Mr sausage here He says quote the funds in question were delivered directly to my house one particular installment of two hundred thousand u.s

[10:22] dollars in cash and another three hundred thousand now the renowned senor sausage actually worked in korea's campaign And he's quoted as saying I had to do the work for the campaign and the publicity encouraging the people of columbia who had ecuadorian documents and Fark militia man who had a free pass to go to ecuador to vote for rafael korea So what's that mean? Well for all you gringos and expats who rafael korea was the best thing since life spread I know I know he's the one who pumped up the ecuadorian social security system and healthcare system offering gringos and expats To jump on board. Remember well, you know two or three years ago All i'd hear from gringos and expats living there was praise for that guy

[11:08] And now he's being revealed as just another corrupt president who will do jail time So what else is new, huh? Oh and by the way, if you've been paying attention, you'd know now that it's been thoroughly audited and vetted The ecuador health care system is bankrupt and pretty much on the skids Plus you longtime listeners will remember the discussion we had about how all the premiums for gringos and expats were jacked up Dramatically. All right, just a little news out of ecuador stuff. You'll never hear repeated by those international living doofuses Then again Maybe you don't want to know about that stuff because i've known Gringos who've lived on the gringo tourist trail for years and they don't even know the name or even the face of the president Of the country they're living in which could be a good thing ignorance is bliss and all that but look what's happening in nikko raga

[11:57] Right now. It's a place where clueless gringos have invested fortunes And there's practically martial law there now Sounds like a lot of clueless gringos never did investigate who's in charge Now normally when you've had a couple of socialists or neo-communists in power like all politicians They're as corrupt as can be and as long as the money's flowing in they're happy But when they start tampering with the constitution so they can remain in office forever, man Then it's not the kind of place i'd ever recommend for your plan b. All right speaking of nikko raga Here's some breaking news just today some six thousand heavy cargo vehicles are trapped Due to the violence and blockades that have intensified in the last weeks Ah sounds like fun, huh? All right now a relevant email

[12:43] This is from kevin who says he's going to an international living seminar and well, it's kind of like a cattle call He said in all the little extra side presentations were about trying to sell you real estate land deals and teak farms He said you almost never get out of the hotel unless you're going to look at real estate So he's not recommending international living seminars. Anyway, he says dear johnny You almost never talk about ergoi anymore It used to be all over the news a few years ago first country in the world to legalize marijuana and such Then they had that real nice old president I think his name was mujeka looked like everyone's old grandpa sitting on a porch smoking a pipe Maybe loaded with good legal weed who knows I remember reading Kevin says he used to drive to work as the president in a

[13:30] Volkswagen and his wife the first lady would go to her job wherever that was on a scooter With no bodyguards and then after his presidency settled back in his little farm where he did most of the work The first world press kind of touted him as a modern day lincolnesque figure Chopping wood in the morning and in the afternoon Driving his volkswagen to work and spewing folksy populist tales that everyone loved Remember that I do remember some months ago. You mentioned ergoi once You said it seems like their experiment with legalizing marijuana has failed because the government as usual thoroughly screwed things up So my question johnny is you have any more to add to the ergoi story because one of my friends went down there And settled in in a rather upscaled beach area called punta el esti and he says during the season and they have kind of

[14:19] All four seasons. It's really jumping with argentinos and terribly expensive and the other half of the year It's completely dead and you can rent a condo for a song But when the season comes the rents triple even quadruple I don't get it any insight on that keep on keeping on johnny signed kevin columbus. Ohio But not for long That's what he says good questions there kevin And this might be a great time for me to read a little article to you on the state of exactly What's happening in little ergoi right now? This is hot off the pressures, too Pretty much says it all and it comes directly from a favorite of mine dug case. He actually owns a ergoi in ranch So he got down there well before they made marijuana legal and he's kept a good eye on the economy tourism

[15:05] The government cost of living everything so Let's get on with it And as usual i'll paraphrase a bit every once in a while when I feel like it When you get your own show you can do what you want, too All right starts out most americans have never been to ecuador and most don't know a thing about it. Anyway It's nobody's first choice for a vacation destination. Anyway, and so the interviewer asked doug casey Why do you have a ranch in ergoi? And doug says well ergoi used to be known as the switzerland of south america It once had the most free market banking and financial infrastructures and excellent privacy It was once very desirable from that point of view. So I moved there Besides that many latin americans used it as a tax haven too and a money refuge

[15:51] It still has remnants of that reputation though No longer deserved then it goes on to say ergoi is a very small country It's about the size of missouri with a population of only three and a half million It's also quiet and backward when I first visited in 1980 I thought I was stepping back into the 1930s. I kid you not he says Geographically, it's kind of divided into three parts. One part is monta video the capital It's got about a million people in the center of economic activity such as there is and there's not much of it It's got some upscale areas too. Then he says but for the most part it's a dump Yeah, i've seen it. He's exactly right. Anyway, then there's punter del este a beach slash resort town

[16:41] By the way, you guys that's what the emailer kevin was talking about his friend moved there Then casey says that town is packed in the season from christmas to february But very very quiet the rest of the year. That's where all the rich people live too Exactly what emailer kevin said, huh? Then he says the third part of ergoi is the endless pompas in the country's interior. It's just pure farmland There's nothing of interest there One chilly punter del este the beach resorts believe me The country's like kansas with a seacoast dead flat and boring then he says on the bright side There are some interesting rich sophisticated people that live around punter del este Most are argentines that moved across the border for tax or political reasons

[17:28] Some people move there simply because it's a pleasant place and quiet Though even punter del este is a little bit backwards In fact, the whole country's a little bit backward, which could be a good thing I guess he says that's my excuse for spending time here once in a while It's a great place to just sit catch up on reading research writing. So if you're looking for a nightlife forget about it Unless again, you're in punter del este During the season which is around three months In other words, he says if you don't know how to amuse yourself Uruguay is not the country you want to locate too. He says on the bright side It's a very low crime location in south america The high crime countries have always been brazil columbia and venezuela The low crime countries have always been argentina Uruguay and chile and he says Uruguay along with chile is the least corrupt country in south america

[18:19] He says you don't dare try to bribe a cop here. That'd be out of the question and you'd get in trouble Hey, hey, wait a minute johnny here again Personally, I kind of like the idea that you can pay the cops off sure cuts through the red tape of having to go down Pay a fine go to court. Whatever. I know I know it's corrupt and all that but this is latin america And that's the way it is besides in latin countries off the gringo tourist trail 20 bucks is a standard bribe I mean come on in chicago. I hear it's 50 bucks for jaywalking And you know, it's not right in your face. Like hey gringo. I want a bribe. No, it's much more kind and subtle Now expat eddie says just look at it like tip in a waitress at a restaurant She expects a tip, right? And if you don't give her one things could get messy Of course being pulled over by a cop doesn't mean they're gonna hit you for a bribe though

[19:06] It's much more common if you're on the gringo tourist trail where the cops know gringo don't speak spanish And they're quick to grease a palm because they really don't know what will happen next if they refuse And of course the age-old way to force a bribe out of a stupid gringo is to say That your car paperwork is not in order But look if you rent a car obviously your paperwork's in order and if you drove one down It's in order because you made it through a ton of checkpoints and borders But what are you gonna do if a cop pulls you over at one of those mandatory stops? Looks at your papers and says something's wrong with them if your spanish sucks, man You've got no options, but 20 bucks will usually solve everything. Oh, but it won't in mexico or costa rica Probably more like a hundred or two hundred, but you knew that already. Anyway

[19:53] Speaking of corruption This article goes on to say in argentina, which is just across the river from urugway It's a completely different story. You could say there that corruption is your friend So the culture in urugway is quite different from that of both brazil and argentina which are at its borders Then he says they even stiffened up the visa in residency requirements in urugway Typically all gringos and expats get a three-month visa to any latin country It's automatic. You don't have to apply for it That means if you want to spend serious time down there, you have to get residency or you'll be popping back and forth all the time To neighboring countries to get to proper passport stamps But now most latin countries are tightening up on getting permanent and temporary residency. For example

[20:39] Urugway used to have easy requirements, but they've tightened up considerably and now to maintain your residency You must be present in urugway at least one day every four months And for some gringos and expats that's impossible because it's a long expensive flight from cleveland And there's usually an overnight layover. So think of it every four months That's three times a year you have to pop into the country at least for one day All right. It's me john again. Remember how I talk about guatemales temporary and permanent residency You're still able to maintain it with only one day a year in the country and it's a short easy flight So do keep in mind that countries are tightening the noose on residency requirements Then he says by the way Urugway along with sweden and new zealand were the very first socialist countries in the world

[21:27] He's talking about fabian or democratic socialism not communism. If you look it up You'll see it's pure welfare state style socialism And though he says it's not brutal socialism here like most other types of socialism But it's still very corrosive to the human spirit and he says if you're an entrepreneurial gringo Urugway is not for you. It's completely out of the question. He says the place is totally anti-business But one thing he says the regulations are absolutely horrible. It's never ending papers forms and permissions Plus the welfare system is so egregious It's almost impossible to get anyone to do a full day's work here. The unions are set in concrete They have unyielding coercive organizations run by opportunistic thugs, which is pretty much what happens with all entrenched unions

[22:14] Fortunately, he said they're not violent like the unions in some other countries to show you how bad things are five years ago They had no income tax Then they held a referendum and the people actually voted themselves an income tax Now how degraded is a country he says where people actually vote to punish themselves like that Of course, it was sold to the average person by saying don't worry only the rich will pay it But you can guess how that ended up. So as far as income tax it tops out around 25 percent But you've got a 22 percent vat tax. That's value-added tax called eva here That's tacked on to everything you buy. Of course, the good thing is like most countries in the world except

[22:59] Basically the u.s They do not tax you on income from a foreign source As you know, if you live in the u.s You're forced to pay taxes on all sources The other thing is like most governments in latin america They tend to leave foreigners as gringos and expats very much alone So for me he says the main reason I live in uruguay is because it's quiet and peaceful And it's just across the river from argentina But aside from that there's very little else to attract any expat or gringo And for now uruguay mostly makes its money off of tourism At punter dell'este and they've got a big agricultural thing going though They used to have a thriving financial industry, but the government has totally destroyed it It's certainly no longer the switzerland of south america

[23:45] That's ancient history and now even worse the uruguan government is trying to destroy the tourist industry They recently put a 0.00 alcohol tolerance for driving into effect So then why go to a nice beach town like punter dell'este in the summer? Where there's zero tolerance for alcohol and of course, they've put police checkpoints everywhere to enforce it That means it won't take long before tourism there is dead besides that the beaches are much better in brazil And it's a much more liberal climate there though brazil is noted for its crime So you take your chances when you go there, but it is beautiful And as for the argentines who are making up around 80 percent of the people who come to the punter dell'este Resort town during the season. They're just gonna say why should I go there?

[24:32] Anymore if they're on vacation and can't even drink one single drink without being nailed while driving They'd rather go to brazil or even miami So yes, the tourist industry is being killed even worse. Urgue is probably the most anti-smoking country in the world even more so than canada and Believe me latinos like to smoke then he says talk about expensive in punter dell'este Which only has people less than half of the year There are hundreds of apartments that are empty during the slow season And they're typically paying get this around 3000 us dollars a month in condo fees and taxes just to keep the building going It's extremely expensive. So why would anyone buy a condo there?

[25:18] It's basically for argentines to get their money offshore into something that's solid and real As opposed to a bank account or putting their money into argentine real estate You know argentine is on the verge of bankruptcy again, and they've got 25 inflation So the wealthy are trying to get their money out then it says argentines are now finding out They can't even hide their money in urugui anymore because uruguans have killed financial privacy In fact, it's no longer possible at all there. In fact, it's barely possible in the rest of the world unless you use an sa corporation Next the government will surely try to kill the agriculture industry. They've done it everywhere else Then he says most politicians in monovideo are ex-communists from the 70s They all believe in socialist ideas and now they're working on destroying the real estate business, too

[26:06] Through transfer taxes notary and stamp charges all kinds of fees stacked up on top of each other Making it very expensive to buy or sell any property. In fact, he says the real estate market is so bad here Everything's for sale if you want to buy something by the way off from half and they'll probably take it All right, me john again. What an eye-opener, huh? Oh, and by the way, he was talking about unions before You heard me mention in a recent show that panama unions are so strong Especially in the construction sector that just last month the construction unions shut down throughout the whole country Every single construction project was stopped. What they wanted of course were pay raises and they got them That'd be reason number 226 why I don't recommend panama as expat plan b destination though

[26:53] Of course, some people like it, but they're mostly the people that got there a long time ago Those who have settled in nicely, but if you're a newbie coming in Hmm lots of problems and it's getting to be quite expensive, too All right We're near the end now and I have to mention that i've got a couple more places left in my july 2018 expat insider seminar in and around guadamala volcano notwithstanding. It won't affect us a bit In fact, we'll have a look. This is probably the last time i'm gonna mention this seminar because we're kicking off in about three weeks now But you can still get in so just go to www that the new expat.com and click on johnny's seminar link You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america If you need some help with your own plan b, you can schedule a one-on-one phone call with me

[27:40] But first download my free plan b questionnaire at www.thenewexpat.com Better yet if you want to get your plan b going from right up there in the states Just sign up for my nine hour expat essentials course Get the perfect plan b blueprint by going to the expat files.com slash academy most famous