#738 – The Expat Files: Humor, Migration, and Cultural Gaps in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here So let's get started occasionally gringles and expats asked me about the Latin sense of humor because That's are always laughing. They're having fun standing in lines on street corners at chicken bus stops when they're on a work-or-lunch break You just see that kind of joking around and happiness everywhere. So then what's so funny? What are they laughing at?

[00:48] Are they into sarcastic poking fun at people humor? Is it punchline humor body stuff? Or is it vulgar sexier political humor or all of the above and you know I used to think just learn a little Spanish and you'll be able to pick up on it to find out what they're laughing about Why not join in on the fun laughter supposed to be the best medicine, right? But I was wrong as my Spanish got better and better and it's still not a hundred percent perfect Even so Latin humor does not make me laugh. Yep They got the bar set low on that one as well and you know sometimes I really wish I had low funny bone standards to as Expat Eddie once whispered to me while everyone was laughing but us either Latinos have more fun in general or they're Laughing at us Johnny and I said Eddie. I don't think they're laughing at me Not when you got a free holy stuck in your front tooth. Nope

[01:35] I don't think unless you're a Spanish major and took four or five years in school That's not even enough you have to live down here for at least five years to pick up on the subtleties and nuances and still You'll never get all the way there unless of course you religiously watch the telly novellas Or you happen to have Latino or Latina Significant other who speaks not a word of English if there's one thing I've learned after being down here for almost 30 years now No matter how much you're tuned in to Latin society Unless you came down as a very young kid and went to a completely bilingual school You'll never laugh at Latin jokes and you won't get their sense of humor Oh sure, there are universal things that make all of us laugh You know slipping on a banana peel boner at the beach bird crap on someone's head a fart in church Seems like every society laughs over someone else's misfortunes. I mean, that's the basis of slapstick, right?

[02:22] However, there's such a cultural divide between our humor and Latin American humor Well, you longtime listeners have heard me say on previous shows comedy clubs and comedy stand-up is just starting to come here to Latin America Huge lag time. Ah, what's it like 30 years? And yes, I've been dragged to a few of those shows and the humor is so Unsophisticated so junior high talk about sexist racist vulgar and everything else Let's just eat that stuff up. Although I have to say on those big Latin college campuses They do have open mic nights And some people are ballsy enough to get up there and make fools out of themselves at least to us But like I said Latinos will laugh at anything So it seems like everyone who makes it to the mic walks away thinking he's a star. Oh, well, everyone has their moment, huh? Quince me nutos de Fama and you know these days anyway

[03:08] There are a few famous Latino stand-up comedians doing the rounds up in the States and making big money Yep, they've got HBO specials and CDs But guess what no one here in Latin America buys them because they're in English But we're talking about Latino comics born and raised up in the States now the successful ones And I think the very first one was Freddie Prince back in the 70s Remember him was really popular then he offed himself which kind of aborted the whole Hispanic median thing for about a generation But now it's such a huge Latin community up in the States There's dozens of those guys making a big success out of themselves And the funny thing is their whole act totally depends on ethnic Hispanic neighborhood culture clash issues, man There's lots of fertile ground for comics there It's all born out of that Latino stereotype thing that's been going on up in the States since I guess Pat Boone had a number

[03:59] One hit in the 60s called speedy Gonzalez the title itself being heavy on the irony So there's tons of fertile ground for Latino stand-up comics up in the States However, the odd thing is is they are not touring at all down here in Latin America and not just because their act is in English because even if Translated into Spanish the average Latin even the above average Latin would not get the punch lines And you know having a connection to stand up comics up in the States through my brother the word in the first world Latino comics stand-up business is that their material is for gringos and Latinos living up in the States So by their own admission their comedy does not transfer well to Latinos living in Latin America who most of them consider to be Not fundamentally their equals in other words a bunch of hayseeds sort of for lack of a better term country bumpkins

[04:47] Alright, here's another example closer to home for me I'm thinking about how a second or third generation Polish or Lithuanian Americans back in Chicago View their own relatives living in the old country They definitely would not laugh at the same jokes, and they'd often be embarrassed by their so-called rustic ways So Latinos up in the States who are citizens or who were born up there have developed their own kinds of prejudice Elitism classism if you will against Latinos from their own native countries And you know I've seen it myself especially when I visit all inclusive Latino resorts like the Decameron long-time listeners I've heard me tell those stories, so I won't repeat them here But don't you find it strange that successful Latino comics up in the States do not come down to Latin America and tour in fact? One Latino comic in Chicago told my brother. He doesn't want to change his act

[05:37] He doesn't want to dumb it down So bottom line jokes political and insult humor that gringos and expats throw at each other will go completely over the heads of Latinos Living in Latin America even those who are supposedly well educated unless of course They lived in the States for a while, and we're exposed to that stuff, and I don't mean as illegals I'm talking about having gone to school up there or University then soon enough They're on track and they get it so of course the longer they live up in the States and the more they're exposed to gringos and expats especially at schools and University the more they get our sense of humor in fact It's amazing how fast they pick up on it However while down here in Latin America most of our humor will not bridge the cultural gap and neither will theirs even when you Translate ours into Spanish and theirs into English And you know the easiest way to ruin a good joke is to have to explain it to somebody now

[06:25] That's not to say when you crack a joke the room will be silent Oh the locals will smile and laugh all right, but don't let it fool you they won't get it They'll only laugh because it's kind of the polite thing to do if there's another gringo or two in the room that are laughing Or there's a pregnant pause and if they don't laugh the silence will be deafening You ever catch yourself falling into that trap come on Don't tell me you never laughed at your boss's stupid jokes. Just because he was your boss Oh, and here's a good example of humor. That's not translatable into Spanish You've heard of the saying when life gives you lemons make lemonade. It's even on t-shirts and bumper stickers By the way speaking of clever bumper sticker and t-shirt sayings in English being that I'm off the gringo tourist I'm forever being asked to translate those things for the Latinos who have them

[07:13] And you know it seems the more clever the saying the harder it is for them to get the joke case in point if life gives you Lemons make lemonade Latinos are totally baffled by that even when you explain it to them They don't get it why because up in the states up in the first world lemons are not a basic staple in our diets in fact I remember growing up I only had lemonade a couple times a year we practically never had lemons around the house or sitting in the fruit bowl All right, so there's lemon meringue pie But how many times here do you have that the whole point of that lemons and lemonade saying is that lemons are sour and bitter and Signify something sour and bitter happening in your life, right? Whereas in Latino society Lemons are everywhere the locals just love them. They're around it practically every meal They're just common well-loved staples in every Latinos diet

[08:01] Which is why the lemons and lemonade saying does not work at all down here Even when you try to explain it to people they still don't get it because lemons signify something good and wholesome to them So if you're down here and you see a Latino wearing a shirt like that, you can be sure he doesn't get it Which brings me to an email from Chris. He's shooting us to me from Canada says hi, Johnny Hope you're doing well, I've been written for a while, but I thought I should send you this news item Then he gives me a link. I'll read some of it to you in a little while He says Johnny perhaps it's old news to you by now But I think for North Americans interested in Latin relocation There may be a problem with the influx of third-world mostly young fighting-age males Coming into Latin America from Africa and the Middle East at least that's what some media reports are telling us

[08:47] Then he says that does not bode well for the future Prospect of being able to disappear into the woodwork as a gringo in Latin America, so to speak I know he says governments tend to use these situations like for example a so-called refugee crisis As an excuse to invade your privacy in the interest of national security, of course. Yeah, right Now I know Mexico is hard-ass on illegals Passing up through their country from the south like for example, Guatemalans Honduran Salvadoranians Nicaraguan says they don't like them They don't treat them well, but now they've got this new foreign el Norte breed coming from Africa and the Middle East They won't be able to put a lid on all of them. That's for sure. I suspect though Mexican authorities will get wise They probably already are and they'll round up those Middle Eastern and Africans

[09:34] Put them in cattle cars and take them directly to the US border point north and say there it is land of the free It's all yours and then Chris says, of course We've all read plenty of stories on all the wonderful cultural enrichment The refugees have been bringing to Germany France Sweden UK, etc I understand Sweden or it might be Switzerland is now the rape capital of the world What a way to get into the Guinness Book of Records, huh? So I assume Johnny if these same refugee types attempt similar behavior in Latin America, they'll find themselves Unexpectedly wearing a piano wire necktie or possibly inflicted with an instantaneous case of lead poisoning one slug at a time So Johnny, how do you think this influx of new invaders from across the sea will change things in Latin America?

[10:22] All the best as usual Chris from way up north a Canada. Well, thanks for that Chris You know quite a few shows back probably a half year or so ago I gave a pretty good rundown on the countries in Latin America that had rather large Populations of Muslims etc. And the three top countries Brazil Argentina and Colombia But now they've been eclipsed by the little country of get this Ecuador wait a minute. Wait a minute. How could that be? How'd that happen? Well, let me read you a few excerpts from a couple of different articles spelling out a real big problem The title of this article is Ecuador's newly relaxed visa standards makes it a gateway for Muslims and Africans it starts out with this story that sort of says it all and this is from a magazine and website called

[11:12] journalists for Transparency starts out Ali Knew it was time to flee Iraq when the local Shia militia started asking his friends and neighbors about him Rumor was he was losing his faith if they found him he feared he'd be beheaded So he fled he took what he had and he went to Moscow where he looked online and found a site that said Countries that accept Arab Muslims without a visa turns out he found his best option by far Ecuador South America So like thousands of other migrants on this new westward immigration trip across the Atlantic Elreda's trip involved many stops Some Muslims tell of having traveled as many as six countries to get to Ecuador through West Africa

[11:59] Afghanistan Turkey Dubai on to Brazil generally the first country on the mainland of Latin America they touch down in and Some take another air route criss-cross continents almost 2,000 miles first to Moscow, Russia then more than 9,000 miles west to Havana Cuba and from there you take a plane to Ecuador's capital city Quito where you're allowed to enter on a tourist visa and then before that runs out you claim asylum because you see in 2008 Ecuador passed a new constitution that created one of the most liberal Open-door visa policies So suddenly people from other countries did not need a visa to enter Ecuador Which turned Ecuador from a little-known dot on the South American map to a key

[12:48] destination for people Specifically Muslims whose final destination was the Americas although visa requirements were reinstated for some African countries and Afghanistan to this day Ecuador maintains some of the world's most liberal entrance and visa standards now get this Inequidor Giovanna Tippan Barrera the director of the human mobility department of the pin chincha region that incorporates Quito says now there are so many Extracontinental immigrants as they like to call them that the Ecuadorian government is now running special Spanish classes for Arabic speakers Hmm. Isn't that nice? She says her department and I can't believe they actually have a division called the human mobility department

[13:39] Anyway, she says her department works with migrants from Afghanistan, Syria, Congo, Guyana, Iran and many more She says some arrive with absolutely nothing others are middle and middle upper class who have the resources to pay for the journey People with money. She says often do not want to take the boat to Europe Then it says many of the Muslims will stay in Ecuador Others will use Ecuador as a trampoline to try to reach the US Saying the fees to get all the way to the US are considerable at least ten to twenty thousand dollars extra once they arrive in Ecuador Then it says dr Theana Moreno Romero chief prosecutor for the pin chincha region says ever since Ecuador's freedom of movement law

[14:25] Was enacted in 2008. We're starting to see people from places. We never saw them before Pakistan, India, Afghanistan Africa so once they arrive in Ecuador, they're legal though. Some of them still want to go to the US So how do they do that first? They start their journey in Colombia. It can be an easy walk there as many as 33 informal crossing points where coyotes will take you across and Then it says get this with so many countries to cross by the time you get to the US or Canada and with so many controls Coyotes work a relay race one country's coyotes hands the people over to the next country's coyotes using mobile phones Coordinating exchange information and payments via

[15:11] Western Union or money gram for all the different stretches along the route. All right me Johnny here again You know I've always had the idea and it certainly is an original all you have to do to really nail these guys to the wall Is to post TSA agents or immigration officials at Western Union and money gram offices Come on TSA immigration and ice they're dumb, but not that dumb They know all the payments are going through Western Union and money gram You've heard me report that stuff on this show before it's not millions But billions that flow through Western Union and money gram Including the vast majority of all those remisses coming from those illegals up in the states in Canada To the folks back home in Central and South America if they really wanted to nail down the vast network of coyotes and illegals

[16:00] They could do it by strangling off the dough connection But it's just like the cocaine trade in Latin America all that dough is laundered and flows through US and international banks And when they get caught they get a slap on the wrist and find so the bankrupt US system Makes a certain amount of money from that, too Notice how they never closed down the banks or put anyone in jail They just find them and the banks pay those fines wherever they are and it's business as usual But let's get back to this article It says until recently a large operation in Bolivia was providing false documents for a fee of course Principally Bolivian and Venezuelan passports so that once people landed in Ecuador They'd be able to travel north all the way through Central America to Mexico Oh, and at the end of this article to give an update on El Rayida

[16:47] You know the Muslim guy in the story who escaped from Iraq to Ecuador and because of Ecuador's open door immigration Policy his wife and four sons are now living in Ecuador to sound familiar But in Latin America, it's not just Ecuador that has an open door immigration policy like that turns out in 2003 former Brazilian President Lula Who by the way has just been sentenced to 18 years in prison for taking Petrobras bribes? Well, he forged a so-called refugee policy that opened the immigration doors, too And that led to wave upon wave of Haitians and migrating Muslims including Palestinians and Syrians as well as opening Brazil's borders to asylum seekers from Africa Asia and all of the Middle East Then they show some numbers here. It says Brazil's official statistics for 2015 show

[17:37] 28,670 asylum requests many were Haitians But immigration officials say there were sharp increases in the number of people coming from Africa and the Middle East Then it says not every asylum seeker is welcome in Brazil Many of the 75,000 recent asylum requests were rejected by the Brazilian authorities However, once they're in Brazil, they don't deport them back to their home countries. It's too expensive So they end up staying in Brazil illegally or using the country as a starting point for a journey deeper into the Americas and their next stop from there Ecuador where they will be accepted without asking for asylum Which is a long drawn-out process made even longer by the fact that almost none of them speak Spanish Oh, and here's a recent stat in 2015. According to the Ministry of Tourism

[18:25] 111,000 African travelers came to the country mostly from Angola Cape Verde, Morocco Tunisia Niger and Nigeria the majority ending up in Sao Paulo Brazil and the attraction in Brazil for Muslims and Africans is Sao Paulo a Megapolis of more than 20 million people a major destination for international migrants of all kinds and because of former president and present jailbird Lula's 2002 proclamation almost half of that city's residents are foreign-born then it says according to statistics about 20% of the Refugees and asylum seekers coming to Brazil end up moving elsewhere But for Africans Brazil is a big draw because they can usually travel by plane and enter Brazil

[19:12] Legally without the help of false documents coyotes or bribes or payoffs But it says because migrants don't speak Portuguese or Spanish They're often extorted by Brazil's customs and immigration employees For example, one of the common scams is to note the immigrants Residence in Brazil. They have to list that on the immigration form and then purposely Misdamp their entrance documents then a few weeks or months later The crooked officials will knock on the doors of the new arrivals pointing out errors in their documents Then the extortion process begins then the report says for many people coming from Africa in the Middle East There's no more attractive place to settle than Sao Paulo Brazil since there are dozens of bustling immigrant

[19:57] neighborhoods attracting migrants Specifically from countries all around the African continent and the Middle East So once these migrants arrive, they're instantly pointed to a barrio where everyone speaks their home country language And even though Brazil has been in a huge financial crisis since 2015 and the Olympics brought near bankruptcy Middle East Muslims and Africans feel they are much better off in Brazil or any place in the Americas than in their home countries Then the article talks about one of these little neighborhoods or Pueblos called Republica Square Which is a neighborhood for displaced Africans from San Agar It says just like back home There are hundreds of street vendors and the square is a kind of a community party place at night With sound systems blaring traditional African songs with all the culture sites sound smell and talk of the home country

[20:46] All right, so we Johnny again Here's the thing you don't take a boat over from the Middle East or Africa and land in Brazil or Ecuador You take a flight and that costs a couple of grand and if your idea is to get to the States or Canada You got to have another 10 or 20 grand to pay the coyotes You have to budget that in because here in Latin America, I don't care where you are You're never gonna get a job. That's gonna allow you to accumulate that kind of dough Not as an immigrant who just arrived anyway problem number one immigrants do not speak Spanish or Portuguese So the fact is most of the people coming from the Middle East or Africa to South America are people with money or professionals Of some sort lawyers teachers chemists engineers, not generally the kind of refugees you see piling in the Europe So even though they might be middle or upper middle class and have some money and skill without knowing the language are usually

[21:34] Sol and end up being stuck in Brazil, Ecuador, Colombia usually somewhere in South America Statistics show only about 20% of them ever make the trip on through Mexico to the States Oh, and this is interesting They have in this article a bunch of profiles of people from Africa and the Middle East who made it to Brazil and Ecuador And every last one of them says they've encountered a great deal of discrimination for the locals when people find out they're from Africa Or the Middle East which is why they almost always end up in their own little Pueblos and districts and as far as jobs They can never get a legitimate job on the books because even though in most cases they land in Brazil or Ecuador Legally, they're only there as tourists and tourists are not allowed to work and as far as making money There's no welfare system or safety net So they're on their own and whatever they make is always off the books

[22:22] For example, there's a profile here of a guy named Abraham. He's 41 and he's from Senegal He was a professional tailor in his home country who to make money in Sao Paulo Brazil has taken to sewing fake Nike and Adidas Logos on clothing improvised by another guy from Senegal who works nearby He says of course he prefers to dedicate his time to his own original work But due to financial pressures, he was forced to join the market of counterfeit designer labeled pirate clothing manufacturers So anyway in Chris from Canada's email. He says Johnny. What's your opinion on all this? Yep I'm an opinionated guy. So here it is skip at quid horn Brazil But here's the odd thing Considering the publicity Muslim migrations have been getting lately when it comes to Central America And I mean all the Central American countries and four or five of the South American countries

[23:12] I'm telling you you can be in a city of over a million people walk around all day and never see a Single person in a burka or a black person from Africa Unless of course you're hanging around at an international airport because you see all kinds then just to give you a personal example In a last month I've been in and out of three or four very big Latin cities of over a million people and I saw two Maybe three standout Muslims though. I wasn't near an airport I saw two ladies and burkas pushing shopping carts in Costco and another lady based on her garb Who I thought was a Muslim but may not have been in a big hotel parking lot And as I've mentioned many times before there's an acute shortage of mosques in Latin America except in Brazil

[23:58] Argentina and Colombia go ahead look it up do a mosque search However, there are lingering questions about Mexico You occasionally hear stories of Muslim cells along the US border ready to be activated who knows when well That might be the case if there is a slow but sure land migration of Muslim types They're gonna go through Mexico hook up with their own hang out and make some plans that stands to reason well Whether that's provable or not to me. That's just reason 2476 why I would never live work play and or recommend Mexico Except of course for a nice week or two vacation at one of those big resorts in Cancun whatever But you knew that already, right you long time listeners No, I don't recommend Brazil, but you know this time of year You see news reports about that great carnival parade and festival going on

[24:46] You know dancing in the street all kinds of Sun and fun activities, especially in Rio Well, I don't know if this got to the news up in the states But down here they've been showing a bunch of violent episodes that happen during carnival. Have you seen the reports? I kind of doubt it. Well down here TV stations have been showing military police and regular police in Rio de Janeiro Getting killed on camera in clashes with criminals and images of young men robbing and beating Sunbathers right on Ipanema Beach, you know that famous tourist paradise Ipanema Beach Well not recommended not anymore unless you're doing an all-inclusive Sun and fun beach resort thing Then you'll be okay, but don't wander off on your own In fact all big hotels have signs near the beach that say exactly that

[25:33] One of the problems you see is just like Mexico. The cops are Terrifically corrupt. In fact, just last year 2017 in Rio alone the cops killed 1100 people now, I'm sure that all happened in the ghettos that Gringos and expats would never visit the favales You know, but also last year Rio authorities issued arrest warrants for 96 cops So don't think if you're in Rio and something goes down and you're looking for officer friendly that he's gonna be all that friendly Oh, and by the way, the government issued a report saying that half of the patrol vehicles in Rio de Janeiro are out of service For lack of maintenance that's par for the course in every Latin country So bottom line next year when fat Tuesday rolls around put a Brazilian samba station on your internet radio

[26:19] Pour yourself a couple of pina coladas put on a paper mache head Turn on the tube and watch Brazil's carnival in all its technicolor glory from the safety of your sofa up there in Cleveland Speaking of better safe than sorry, you know with all the negative news today Everyone that's clued in everyone with a half a brain knows They need to have a plan B some kind of insurance policy not if but when enough of those tipping points fall that the reset Button is pressed and pressed hard. So the question is do you have a plan B? What are you gonna do when your power goes out for a couple of days or months or more? Of course, the best plan B is to have a way out You don't want to be there when the Mierda hits the oven eco Of course you listeners know the best way to get a plan B going is to get boots on the ground yourself But not just let's take a trip down and stumble around by ourselves boots on the ground

[27:08] Talk about wasting a lot of time money and energy You know the best way right come down to one of my expat insider seminars Come on down and drink from the fire hose The next one will be in early July 2018 Getting the details set up right now And if you want to get on the early bird discount list Just shoot me an email the expat files at gmail.com and you'll be the first to get the info and sign-up details So shoot me an email the expat files at gmail.com You've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America If you need some help with your own plan B, you can schedule a one-on-one phone call with me But first download my free plan B questionnaire at www.thenewexpat.com Better yet if you want to get your plan B going from right up there in the States Just sign up for my 9-hour expat essentials course Get the perfect plan B blueprint by going to the expat files.com slash academy

[27:57] Los Famos