#684 – The Expat Files: Tortillas, Street Food, and the Hidden World of Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border, down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started All right, listen to this email. This is from expat Frank He came down here to Central America a couple of years back voted with his feet He's one of those guys living a completely first-world life on a mere social security check who the thunk, huh? Well, that's what I've been saying all these years now, huh? Nope. He said a long time ago

[00:48] No cat food helper for him. He's coming down to Latin America And he's not gonna sit up there in gringo landia and watch his lifestyle erode Anyway expat Frank says hey Johnny on your August 11th show You were talking about tortillas and how the corn ones made fresh by local ladies and those tortilla shops are Better than the wheat ones that you buy in the supermarket the corn ones having less preservatives and additives, etc However, didn't you say long time ago that locals who made tortillas to sell often add something? I forget exactly what but maybe if I'm not mistaken You said plaster like the kind they use in buildings plaster Maybe to pad them out and get more mileage from the ingredients I don't know living here in Latin America myself specifically in Guatemala

[01:36] There are little mini tien does stores where they sell them But I've avoided buying and eating them because of the possibility of eating well plaster Is my memory wrong about that show you did quite a long time ago about tortillas and their ingredients or not? Thanks, Johnny Expat Frank. Well Frank, you know the Latin American indigenous tribes have been making corn tortillas for more than 2,000 years and what they do is they take corn and they mix it with get this lime Which is really calcium hydroxide. In fact, they sell it in huge hundred pound sacks down here You see it everywhere even on construction sites. Yes, right You know, it is the same stuff they use in plaster at least the final finish coat

[02:22] When they build a structure down here first the contractors and masons will put down cement blocks Then after the mortars cured they'll come back a day or two later and I'll put a finished coat on it Actually, it's a couple of layers built up to a finished coat So the mortars mixed with a very white powdered calcium hydroxide comes in big sacks called Cal That's what the locals call it Cal Cal, otherwise known as lime l-i-m-e so if your hands are moist or the stuff is moist and you get it on your hands it can be quite a nasty irritant and Breathing the pulverized dust is even worse Which is why these cement mortar and plaster workers have cracked and weather-worn hands as well as respiratory problems Hey, you know, it's the price they pay in that kind of work They don't use gloves never did and masks. Nah forget about it. Meanwhile as per Frank's question

[03:13] Yep, people eat that stuff often three times a day in the form of corn tortillas So should you abstain? Should you be worried? Nah, in fact, it's actually good for you and we'll get to that in a second But first a relevant boots on the ground story, you know, the first time I saw this was many years ago in Costa Rica I was doing my first building project and there are all kinds of building materials on the site sacks of cement sacks This stuff called Cal I didn't know what it was for but the contractors needed this stuff that was on the site So I watched them as they mix the mortar with this Cal and apply a beautiful white plaster finish coat Meanwhile the project Guardian that would be the guard slash caretaker you long-time listeners will know who that is That's the guy who lives in a little tin shack and every building project

[04:01] And sometimes his wife kids and dogs will live in that little shack for a year while you're building that project, too Anyway, I was duly surprised maybe even my jaw dropped when I saw the wife of the Guardian Doing the patty cake thing making a batch of tortillas out front But get this she stopped for a second grabbed the plastic bowl walked over the construction site dipped it in a bag this Cal stuff and she threw a heaping helping of it and the tortilla dough mix What they call the masa and started patty-caking away again And I'm thinking what they plaster houses with that stuff and people eat it, too And it wasn't long after that that I got the full story from local historian and archaeologist He said indigenous tribes been making tortillas like that since maybe

[04:48] 1500 BC and he said if they didn't put the Cal the lime the powdered sodium hydroxide into the masa That's the raw corn tortilla mix the indigenous cultures the Aztecs Mayans Incas would have never survived He said before the Spaniards came and brought their cows and other bad habits That was the traditional way for the locals to get their dietary calcium He said sure there were goats for milk But that was mostly in South America and he said before the Spaniards came and conquered these guys. There's very little evidence They had any kind of cultivation of green leafy vegetables really the best source of absorbable calcium In fact until recently in China and Japan they didn't have cows either So where they get their dietary calcium green leafy vegetables

[05:35] So for millennium whole civilizations got by just fine without ever drinking milk or milk products Why because there were no cows, of course. Why do you think so many millions of people are lactose intolerant? You know, that's not a sickness or disease By the way, I'm lactose intolerant and you know certain uninformed people still say to me Johnny You mean you don't drink milk or any milk products? Uh-oh. That means calcium deficiencies and osteoporosis, right? Well wrong Then I casually inform them that cows don't drink milk and they don't have calcium deficiencies far from it In fact, they have so much extra calcium that they pass it through their milk for us humans to use and abuse

[06:21] So how do they get that huge abundance of calcium if they don't drink milk? Well, it's coming from grass a green leafy vegetable if you will the you know You'd think people would make that connection Simply put cows don't drink milk, but they supply the world with the stuff anyway So the trial and error work around for the indigenous tribes many centuries ago was to add calcium Hydroxide to the masa the tortilla mix so they're adding lime otherwise known as slaked lime So anyway, Frank those corn tortillas you see these ladies patty-cake and away add on every street corner It seems like that's the genuine product the real thing. There's no artificial preservatives or additives They've been doing it the same way for millennium And you know, there's no preservatives or additives because they make them three times a day fresh. They have to

[07:11] That's why you see those signs that say trace Temporados that means three times a day and you know if they got stupidly modern and pumped a lot of preservatives into them Those tortilla ladies wouldn't have to work so hard and they do work hard who knows maybe in the future with lag time They will start adding preservatives and crap like the big companies do with the wheat tortillas, man Let's hope not first world fast food and junk food are doing enough damage down here as it is now That's not to say tortillas aren't fattening. I mean, they're pure carbohydrates and they do put the weight on I've seen some locals stuff them in by the dozen But still watching those ladies make those tortillas by hand now that is something to see it takes tons of practice To make those things just the perfect size and the right thickness

[07:57] In fact, if you've got boots on the ground here in Latin America, especially off the gringo tourist trail A lot of times you'll go into a local restaurant even quite small time operations And you'll see bunch of ladies in the corner making tortillas the old-fashioned patty cake patty cake corn and Calway Then you know as you're trucking through Latin America, you'll see all kinds of different colored tortillas, too There's green ones blue ones red ones depending on the type and color of corn. They're using totally natural No artificial coloring there and also depending where you are in Latin America The tortillas can be the size of silver dollars or big old plate sized ones Seems like every locales got their own sizing techniques And although traditional corn tortillas will always be thicker than those Processed and predigested wheat ones that you get at places like Taco Bell and from Mexican wonder bread giant bimbo

[08:45] You'll find from region to region the thickness of the corn tortillas varies also sometimes they can be so thick they Approach the thickness of a slice of bread now as for me the problem I have with handmade tortillas as well They're handmade patty cake style and they're always being touched and rolled and formed Which isn't a bad thing in itself if the ladies who did it and they're almost always Exclusively ladies talk about gender bias, huh? How would that go down in the States? Hmm. Hey, here's an idea Let's force these people to pass some laws that always works, right? But I digress as usual. Where are we? Oh, yeah Now you'd think there'd be some kind of basic hygiene or sanitary technique, but it depends on the individual Unfortunately, the standards are all over the place and that's the problem. You could prove it to yourself

[09:32] Just walk up to one of these tortillas watch the three or four ladies making the tortillas It's kind of an assembly line process. They'll always be kids and dogs and flies around the places have no windows It's an open-air kind of thing So one minute the ladies will be panty caking with the masa next minute They'll be wiping this not off the nose of the kid crawling around on the dirt floor dodging the dog poop next minute She's making change with the money from a customer never once really washing her hands There's usually no running water nearby except for the big wash basin Pila way out back That's where they'll draw a bucket or two of water early in the morning to have a supply that'll last them all day They'll also have a little bucket or a plastic dish nearby because they have to dip their fingers into it once in a while

[10:18] So the masa or dough doesn't stick to their hands while they're doing the patty cake thing So all day long you got three or four ladies Patty caking dipping in their hands and since it's the same bucket of water Using the same moist towel to wipe their hands the countertop the utensils and every once in a while It'll end up on the floor. I've seen that happen. Meanwhile, they're changing money shoeing the dogs and the flies out Oh, and by the way, those ladies do have to go to the bathroom, right? What happens then? Well, I don't want to know Let's drop it and you wonder why Montezuma's revenge is the curse of practically every backpacker And you know when I make that argument, I've heard more than one backpacker say to me Johnny. Look, they're cooking them up Think about your mom when she made pie crust or chocolate chip or peanut butter cookies back home

[11:03] She needed this stuff with her fingers Then she put them in the oven and cooked them up assuring that all the cooties and bacteria were dead Same thing with the ladies that make the tortillas, right? Well, I say technically that's right but what you have to remember is when you buy 25 or 50 cents worth of tortillas a Lady will grab a stack and count them out like poker chips That's bare fingers and all and all freshly made tortillas are hot and moist So whatever grunge or residue that ladies get on her fingers Some of it will always get transferred to the tortilla. I know I know a lot of you are thinking Johnny You're being way too persnickety about this. The damn things taste so good. What you're grappin about? Well, you're right. The damn things do taste great

[11:49] However, the proof is in the pudding. Well, you know what I mean I have not had Montezuma's revenge or anything like it for at least 10 years now And I'll bet you a Bitcoin if you walked up to any backpacker who's been trekking through Latin America for more than a month He'll tell you Montezuma's revenge is just part of the adventure. Well, guess what? It doesn't have to be my advice Don't eat street food. That's been man or woman handled and as for corn tortillas Go ahead and buy them But take them home put them in a frying pan and heat them up till they're nice and toasty both sides And by the way when you're out at a rather high-end restaurant You know ones that backpackers never go to the tortillas in those places are handmade too But generally with a lot higher hygienic standards in many cases the management will make sure that however as for those very cheap

[12:36] hole-in-the-wall restaurants and taco and tortilla food carts You see everywhere if you're hungry a chance taker or tempted to indulge Just hang around for five or ten minutes before you order and watch how they make and handle those things who knows you could be Hey, and you know, it's not to say you're gonna get sick every time you eat street food That doesn't happen or no one would ever eat it It's just that you know You're tempting fate and even the phrase Montezuma's revenge has become kind of a fixture in the vocabulary of low-budget backpackers That's just the way it is. Alright enough said about that. In fact way too much said about that Oh just one more thing You know those hand sanitizer gels that you see in stores and bathrooms and when you're walking anywhere these days Well, those little dispensers are starting to pop up in first world franchises like McDonald's and Costco

[13:23] Walmart and stuff and I have to tell you I have absolutely zero confidence in those things I mean imagine let's say you just touch some awful stuff with your hands and there's no water or wash basin around You're gonna put some of that quote hand sanitizer goop in your hands and spread it around So your hands have a nice uniform layer of microscopic crap I know the labels on that goop say it's supposed to kill bacteria and such but Sorry, I'm not buying it and lands They think it's the greatest thing since bimbo bread because you know, there's a shortage of 24-7 running water in most Latin homes and anywhere connected to municipal water So just a little heads up there took a couple years for the lag time to kick in but yes Those hand sanitizer goops are here and I for one I'm not gonna bite I'll stick to soap and water and paper towels if you don't mind

[14:11] Oh, and by the way when people send me email saying Johnny I'm insulting Latin people because there's a lot of smart Latins who've gone to university and got degrees and such even in the hard sciences engineering chemistry biology mathematics well that's true, but there always seems to be something missing an innate curiosity a lack of worldview perspective call it what you wish now if You think that's pretty harsh riddle me this how come I've never met a college-educated So-called highly intelligent Latin person who had any idea that those electric fan blower hand drying units You see in many public restrooms again You find those things in almost all first world franchises like McDonald's and in many upscale malls Why is it that even the most intelligent Latin people I talked to and I've spoken to many they have no idea how really unsanitary

[15:00] Those things are all they really do is blow Warm air on every contaminated surface in the bathroom and of course they dry your hands, too But what they really do well is mystify the air with fecal bacteria and other nasty microbes Then they say Johnny you're wrong that can't be right those units come from the states They're inspected and tested by hordes of US agencies. Look, they've even got stickers on them This one says UL approved for crepes 6 whatever that means then I'll say yep You're right. They come from the US if that makes you feel good be my guest spend as much time as you like Dry your hands your face You might as well dry your butt off with that things because that's essentially what you're doing only I'm out of here before you click That thing on bottom line though. The concept seems sound at first those things simply serve to recirculate bad stale

[15:52] Contaminated air so you end up breathing your microbes and the microbes of everyone else who's been in that bathroom for who knows How many hours before you got there? Hmm? What a revolt and development, huh? I'll tell you you don't want to even see the microbial test results where those things have been installed And you know a while back when I mentioned that to expat Eddie said Johnny Why'd you have to tell me that he said, you know, maybe the Latins really do have it right and the world should be You're urinal. I know I know way too much info on that subject, too All right, let's move on and now time for a bittersweet kind of amazing story that I've been meaning to tell But I just hadn't gotten around to yet. I was waiting for Bitcoin to hit 4,000 actually I know I know some of you are thinking what does that have to do with living in Latin America? Well, let me just tell you that there's a small but very active and dedicated Bitcoin community here in Latin America

[16:42] Especially in Guatemala and you know people are always asking about how they can transfer some wealth out of the u.s And Bitcoin is a tremendous and pretty much anonymous way to do that In fact, it seems like the overwhelming majority of people that come to my expat insider seminars are Bitcoin users already Or extremely interested in getting started and you know Some of my seminar attendees jumped into Bitcoin before the world even knew what it was Which brings me to this little story that will make some people want to cry There was this guy he came to my very first expat insider seminar He came out directly from Italy had a very nice Italian accent He said he just had to get out of the place Italy was basically a failed state Practically as socialist as Venezuela. He said he was an IT guy in fact an Italian nerd

[17:28] Yep, they've got nerds of all stripes in every country, right? He said attacks isn't the bureaucracy and this scumbag politicians in Italy were just stifling to business, etc So he got out came to my very first seminar got himself an SA corporation bank accounts Set himself up here in Latin America voted with his feet been here now ever since he came to that first seminar Seven years now. Anyway being strictly an IT guy making his money on the Internet never really found out how he did that Anyway, turns out he was one of the tiny handful of people I knew who actually studied and bought Bitcoin way in the beginning now as it turns out If I can get these numbers straight now, he bought 10,000 bitcoins and around I think it was 20 cents when Bitcoin was 20 cents

[18:20] That was some time in 2010 about six years ago. You heard me, right? He bought 10,000 of them Then when Bitcoin started going up three years later 2013 when they hit 30 bucks He thought man, this is like lightning in a bottle on anything could happen. So he sold he sold 10,000 bitcoins for $30 each That means he turned his two thousand dollar investment into $300,000 just an amazing return, right? In fact, most big-time professional traders and investors never have a hit like that their entire lives Alright, so he took his 300 grand and man was he a happy camper flash forward to today? Bitcoins at 4,000 he had 10,000 of them had he held on to him. He'd be sitting on 40

[19:07] Million dollars and how does he feel about it now? Well, he made 300 grand off of a $2,000 investment Yep, he missed the mother lode and he knows it and really doesn't want to be reminded of it again Although the fact is everywhere you look every news source internet posting business report TV radio They're talking about Bitcoin on a daily basis. So that's gotta hurt. All right, that's the bittersweet part now for the funny part You longtime listeners know by now that at my expat insider seminars I have my so-called translator ladies my expat insider fully bilingual concierge crew Most of these young ladies are going to University here in Latin America Anyway about a week or two after every seminar I get my group together again and we have a meeting

[19:53] We talked about how the seminar went the smooth and rough spots of the logistics They who had the bad the ugly and the great naturally and we listened to each other's general comments about how things went Kind of an open forum gab session if you will So anyway, we had such a meeting after our very first seminar one of our young pretty seminar translator ladies made the comment You know Giovanni will call him Giovanni not his real name Our nice young good-looking Italian friend from the Bitcoin story at the time. I think he was around 28 years old Anyway, my translator lady said, you know, he's a shy guy, but really handsome He says he's moving here and I bet he'll be looking for a Latina girlfriend And I said, what makes you think that how do you know? He doesn't have a girlfriend or wife already?

[20:38] She says oh I can tell I Said he told you he was single. She said no, but I saw his ears. I said what why are they goofy looking? Is he Spock's son or something? She said a girlfriend or a wife would never let her man go out in public with those big tufts of hair growing out of his ears Then again, I said what and the other translator ladies in the group nodded in unison as they one by one Proceeded to tell me that Latin ladies would never let their boyfriends or husbands go out in public without being sufficiently preened That means noticeable ear and nose hairs not permitted. I said come on That's how you can tell if a guy's single or not She said no, but it puts you on the right track

[21:23] Then she said a young good-looking guy with nose hair ear hair ear wax or bad teeth could very well have a steady girlfriend But chances are she doesn't care about him all that much not enough to preen him like a Latin girl would do she said And I said again for the third time What all the while? Wondering about the state of my own ears man. I'll tell you working with Latin women's a trip However, I wasn't totally convinced maybe it was another one of those only in Latin America things Then I said well that makes sense for young guys But what about older middle-aged guys who start growing that nose and ear hair and great quantities? She said could be there other half just gave up threw in the towel a long time ago Hmm, like I said working with Latin ladies is a trip So then I said what you're telling me is that a guy a younger guy anyway should grow his ear and nose hair if he can

[22:15] That way he's signaling all the Latin ladies that he's single or he has a girlfriend or wife that Doesn't give a damn about him and they all said pretty much in unison. No, no, that's gross by the way in Spanish the word gross is a squeroso or Gross arrow then get this one of the ladies said, you know, we Latinas love to take care of our men Then I said, well then how would you go about cleaning up a gringo backpacker? Then all three ladies looked at each other for a minute and one of them said something in Spanish which Translates roughly to when they've got blue eyes, they'll clean up rather nicely So in the end the message is I think all you male backpackers out there There's hope for you yet, but only if you've got blue eyes. Yeah, I know we're getting into some very weird territory here

[23:06] But remember the name of this show is the expat files living in Latin America We're talking about the good the bad the ugly and the great So do you want to hear what's on the mind of the average young Latin lady or not? Well, you'll certainly get little drips and drabs of it here on this show Oh and speaking of a smart-looking well groomed guys I've noticed that just in the last maybe year or so another seemingly popular first world franchise has landed here in Latin America But only it seems in high-end neighborhoods and malls. I'm talking about these upscale Gentlemen's barbershop franchises, you know the kind I'm talking about the ones that get four times as much for a haircut Really kind of swanky inside kind of old-world retro a lot of wood Comfy leather seats in the waiting area and such pictures of upscale 19th century guys with well groomed beers

[23:54] Well, who'd have thunk franchises like that would make it here in Latin America But apparently they have though beats me if they're making any money again It's part of the gringo advantage because the lettering and the signage even the names of these places like for example Mug and brush are all in English which plays into that all-important gringo wannabe factor Since when you're off the gringo tourist trail and see one of these joints if you pop your head in and I've done that You'll see nothing but wealthy and upper-middle-class Latin guys all pretty much tall and on the white side Upscale cars in the parking lot sometimes a bodyguard or two the same thing when you pop your head into a Starbucks The upscale franchise barbershop crowd and the Starbucks crowd are interchangeable But then again, they're interchangeable with the Applebee's I hop in chucky cheese crowd too

[24:41] So go figure and you know, I don't get it. Actually, there's a lot of things I don't get about Latin America and I've been down here a long long time. One is that when you walk by one of the many Veterinarians or pet supply shops they have always got a table set up in the window with a guy or two Trimming up a dog with a rather fancy cut just like up in the first row However, if you were to tag along when the owner took that dog home You'd quickly notice that dogs got no training at all jumps on furniture and people craps in the house Bags for food when people sit at the table and often nips when he doesn't get enough attention Now we're talking about wealthy and upper-middle-class Latin people who can afford to take their dogs to a place and have them groomed Don't you think they should know better? In fact, there's one Latin friend of mine He owns an advertising agency nice guy

[25:29] But an entitled rich kid his dad bought him the advertising business because well he had to have something for the kids do Right though. I have to say even though he's not motivated He's a very nice guy and though he's my buddy. I'd never hire him or ever want to work with him That's for sure. Anyway, I told myself a long time ago. I'm never gonna visit him at his house anymore By the way, it's a beautiful house with a fantastic view wedding present from his dad. We should all be so lucky, huh? Anyway, you walk in the house. It smells like a dog kennel The nice leather furniture courtesy of his dad again has those ground in grimy spots Where the dog likes to sit another thing? I don't get Latin's just love beige and white furniture Absolutely the worst colors in the world to have if you've got kids or other untrained animals

[26:17] Anyway, you can't sit down in the place without one of his two yiping dogs jumping up on your lap Nope, you can't change people's bad habits, especially when they don't even know they've got bad habits So I just don't go over to his house anymore. Oh, well, sorry If in today's show I've gone a little overboard on the bad and the ugly So let's finish off with some of the good like for example, my upcoming January 2018 Expat insider seminar if you want to get in on the fun and drink from the fire hose Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com and I'll put you on my early bird list And if you just can't make it down in January or get boots on the ground by yourself The obvious next best thing is to take my expat essentials course. Just go to www.expatplanb.com There's a free video all about it waiting there for you

[27:04] So check it out There's no better way to get your ducks lined up for your own plan B And finally a lot of people are signing up for phone and Skype consultations with me So no matter what step you are along the line in your own plan B If you hit a roadblock or need some advice, just download my phone consultation and questionnaire form at www.thenewexpat.com Go ahead download it. It's free and it'll give you a lot of great ideas. I'm sure of it This is the expat files living in Latin America If you want me to help you out with your own plan B Just schedule a one-on-one consult send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to learn how to move forward with your own plan B from right up there in the states go to

[27:51] www.expatplanb.com and check out my three videos. See ya nos vemos