#680 – Episode 680: Navigating Cultural Nuances and Safety in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Hey, you know this show is about the good the bad the ugly and the great in Latin America, right? How about including once in a while things we or I absolutely hate about Latin America or Latin Americans? So what do I really hate or dislike? I dislike the fact that at least a third of the time when you go to a classified ad or olex.com

[00:50] That's my favorite sort of Latin craigslist or even those famous bulletin boards We are really get the great deals You'll see at least a third of the time people do not put a price on what they're selling and I absolutely hate that I don't know about you But I do not want to make a couple of phone calls or send a few me emails to someone saying hey You know, you're selling a car about ab crunch your vegemetic. Whatever. What's this a game? Am I supposed to guess how much you dope? So that's something that really bugs me and it bugs a lot of first-world gringos. They say to me Johnny Why don't these people put the prices down? I just don't get it In fact, not so long ago a Latin buddy of mine college educated smart in some ways stupid and others like most of us I guess he said Johnny I'm selling to my guitars if you know anyone who's interested

[01:37] Pass the word around and I said how much and he said well for the Stratocaster I think I want 300 bucks He said I've got it on olex and at that moment we were in front of a computer So I checked it out and sure enough he hadn't put a price on it And this from a so-called educated Latin naturally this got me going and I went through the same discussion with him Why do you guys put these things on olx and in the newspaper and you don't put a damn price on it You know you want 300 bucks for it put down 300 bucks He just gave me a look like I was making way too big a deal out of it Maybe I was and I said why just tell me why do people do that. It's aggravating and a real-time waster You know by the way where that's most prevalent is in real estate ads for sale for rent It doesn't make a difference. I'd say half of them. Don't have a price

[02:25] I mean come on you gotta have a benchmark you have to have a place to start anyway I mean, that's a basic rule of negotiation right that's when my Latin, but he said Johnny You just don't understand the Latin mentality. I said oh, I think I do I've been down here a long long time He said nope. Nope. I beg to differ. He said well Johnny consider this When you get that phone call when you hear their accent how they speak you can instantly qualify a person Especially if it's an item that's kind of expensive. Let's say over 50 or 100 bucks For example if on that phone call you hear a lot of street noise in the background You know he or she is calling from a payphone you can even tell it's a payphone by the caller ID Then your first thought at least my first thought is he said that they don't really have a pot to pee in

[03:10] If they use a payphone they certainly live in a bad neighborhood have some bad habits and maybe even some bad friends They said in my case with selling guitars I don't want that guy coming over to my neighborhood walking in my house checking out all my stuff Then he said you know a lot of deals are done in parking lots people don't want perspective buyers They don't know from Adam come into their subdivisions neighborhoods or houses Then he said probably in this case I'll drive to the nearest Walmart or McDonald's parking lot I have my guitars in the back seat and whoever wants to come and look at them They'll meet me there, and we'll do the deal or not by the way He said when someone phones you up a perspective buyer It's a good idea to ask them what town they live in or what zone in the city That's an easy way to qualify a person too because you know certain zones and subdivisions are ghettos and some are high-end

[03:59] Etc now that's not to say every single person who uses a payphone is a broke-ass scumbag after all he or she might Live in a scummy part of town But they have the cash the money to buy whatever you're selling because they don't blow it all every month on a cell phone contract They use the payphone which is infinitely cheaper even so he said I'm not gonna invite a guy like that into my house not into my gated garden community Then he said something that surprised me. He said I don't get you gringos You're so trusting you invite anyone and anybody into your house He said people you meet at a mall or a coffee shop just because they speak English all of a sudden They're your friends, and you're having them at your house for Sunday dinner I don't get that then I slipped him a zinger and said you know what I don't get you Latins either You guys with a little money spend every last cent on designer clothes bling and nice cars

[04:49] Then you hire bodyguards, and you tell everyone it's for your protection But that's a joke because they're the first one that are gonna rip you off nope. I don't get it Hey, I could have hit him a lot harder than that, but we agreed to disagree anyway He said Johnny. You know when you sell something in the paper or on olx.com It's almost never just one person who'll show up and look at the thing they'll come with their buddies their mothers sisters uncles dogs Let's just say when you sell something you don't want it to be an open house for every time dick and Julio However, he said you're kind of stuck if you're selling something like for example a washing machine or a refrigerator You just can't throw that in the back of your trunk and haul it to the nearest Walmart or McDonald's parking lot to make Then he said you know Johnny I bet half of the used car deals down here are made in McDonald's and Burger King parking lots

[05:37] That really is a safe way to meet prospective buyers. It's easy to size them up see if they have the door They're just time wasters or tire kickers for example if you're selling a car a decent car anyway And it's something that might cost four thousand bucks or more chances are the prospective buyers gonna be coming from work They'll be dressed rather nicely coming in a car Maybe a friend's car so the tip here beware if they're coming on a chicken bus That tells a lot about a person and if they actually have the money to pull off such a deal by the way I've sold more than a few cars here in Latin America myself And sometimes the people that show up don't have near enough money to buy your car And you don't find that out until after you've gone through your whole spiel you hear things like this look mister You want four thousand for the car, but I've only got twenty five hundred right now

[06:23] Will you take it duh, and I've heard this one too listen mister? I've got twenty five hundred, but I've got a motorcycle to sell to will you take a trade? Double duh, then why'd you come you idiot sell the motorcycle and come back with the cash sheesh? Yep, but another couple hours wasted because you got to get the car ready drive to the nearest McDonald's Whatever hang out and wait for the guy you know the drill this is Latin America You know manana time everywhere and all of us gringos who've been down here for a while We've moved from place to place and therefore we've sold things on the internet and in classified ads and such and that means each of us Has a number of frustrating time wasting buy-in sell stories. We could tell that's why you really have to try to pre-qualify these guys

[07:09] for example if you're in a Walmart parking lot meeting someone you've never met before if you're the buyer and it's a car or Motorcycle or something big you're never gonna hand the cash or give a check right there in the parking lot If you're the seller and we're talking about a car or a motorcycle or something big You're not gonna take cash or check either not in the parking lot. You're gonna do that deal in your lawyer's office That's the only way you should do it now when talking about buying or selling small stuff like a guitar or propane tank weed Whacker even a pet you can do the deal in a parking lot and it'll always be for cash But for bigger stuff like cars and motorcycles It only stands to reason that no matter what country and you shouldn't be carrying large amounts of cash on you meeting someone You don't know in a parking lot Again save that transaction for your lawyer's office And if it's a big amount of cash for dealing with he your lawyer will actually go down to the buyer or seller's bank

[08:00] And do the deal right there with you So a public parking lot is very good for inspecting a car even driving it around a bit after that if you come to An agreement head to your lawyer's office But back to my original gripe when people list things for sale and don't put the price So my Latin buddies kind of weak argument if you ask me is that he could size up a person on the phone if they're Legit or not and they can actually afford what he's got to sell and should even bother meeting them in a Costco parking lot By the way, this Latin musician buddy of mine hate to say this But he's one of those entitled children of the rich helicopter schools and all that extreme gringo wannabe nice guy But doesn't know what end of a screwdriver to hold in our little discussion about buying and selling things He told me he has two brothers in in Costa Rica, and he laughed when he said this

[08:48] There's two prices for everything in Costa Rica the gringo price and the local Latin price So many people purposely don't put a price on things They sell or are gonna rent and when someone phones up after seeing an ad let's say for an apartment rental the Latin Propertory or that would be the landlord or seller can instantly tell a local Latin from a gringo Same thing when walking through one of those big vegetable and fruit markets Gringo prices can often be twice what the Latins are paying for the same thing So in Costa Rica and many other gringo-ized areas like parts of Mexico and Panama Medi in Colombia, etc Same thing which is why if you do in any kind of substantial deal at all like car house boat Jet-ski, whatever and you're the prospective buyer. You should have a native Latin person do the deal for you

[09:36] Preferably when you're not there because especially when you're on the gringo tourist trail Latin sellers know that gringos don't come from a culture of bargaining and haggling so when they see a gringo they'll highball it as one Latina seller in the big market once told me Gringos are extraordinarily happy if she drops her price ten or fifteen percent and for Latin customers She says ten or fifteen percent off makes the gringos happy. But for Latins, that's when the serious haggling starts Oh and speaking of buying and selling things It's always cracks me up at least half of the ads on OLX or in the classified newspaper ads or bulletin boards Whatever, they often have this statement in Spanish. They're always in Spanish. It says solo interesados Interested parties only well talk about redundancies, huh? Yeah, like I'm phoning you up to ask about your apartment, but I'm not interested

[10:26] I just like to go through the classifieds and phone people up. That's my hobby. Duh. Oh By the way, occasionally we talk about chicken buses here The belching sometimes dangerous ubiquitous iron horse of Latin America and no matter how many times I warn gringos against riding them I still see the occasional straggly ass American or European backpacker getting on and off those things Especially at immigration land borders plenty of belching chicken buses rolling in there and there's two things you can count on they're always overloaded way beyond their capacity and No matter how fast you're driving down the road. If they get a chance, they'll pass you even on a curve So then why do chicken buses remain the perennial favorite of backpackers everywhere? Well, let me tell you after about three minutes you get over the novelty and quaintness effect. That's for sure

[11:16] I mean, why do you think they call them chicken buses because sometimes you'll be sitting next to one or where she had a whiny drooling kid With a drippy popsicle or perhaps another revolting animal species So after those first fun few chicken bus moments on a hard bench seat It's all about saving a buck because it's only slightly more expensive than walking anyway, not so long ago I was driving out in the boonies with two gringos in the car with me and we came upon a very strange site You know little town square there were three identical chicken buses and all their gaudy chrome and neon glory You know, they really deck those things out By the way, they're always named after a saint a wife a girlfriend or Jesus Anyway, these three buses were decked out with hundreds of colorful balloons

[12:02] And right away the two gringos in the car said stop Jenny stop and they got out took pictures I told him today's a special day those buses have been rented for a quinceaños party Then I explained when your middle class or lower middle class You live way out in the boonies when a young girl in the family turns 15. That's quinceaños The family always throws a party sometimes bigger than a wedding They rent a haul imported disco the girl has a formal gown and all that and since it's a huge event Sometimes there's 50 a hundred even 200 people there and they'll bus in the family members from adjacent towns Now if we're talking about middle or lower middle class families, they're always cash-poor So the girls mom and dad will be saving up for years Sometimes to pull off a bigger and better quinceaños party than the other relatives or the family next door

[12:49] Believe it or not in the past year or so banks are even offering financing for quinceaños parties So like a mortgage a family could be on the hook to a bank for years By the way, just lately easy credits been available all throughout Latin America, which is why there's been a huge Unprecedented number of cars being sold in Latin America. So Latin America's got a credit finance bubble That's well underway much like the one you guys went through back in 2007 and 2008 you can see for yourself by the advertising the signs of billboards on the highway and such offering No money down for houses land and cars So there's a huge bubble here in Latin America and since they've never experienced one before they don't even know they're in one In fact just this morning I passed a Volkswagen and a Volvo dealership and both of them had signs outside saying no money down zero

[13:41] Nganchi and ganchi is Spanish for down payments. So zero or no in ganchi means zero down payment Okay, we were talking about bank financing and going into debt with a mortgage for your daughter's quinceaños party Hmm. Yeah, I'm sure that for our fiesta makes those years of monthly payments all worthwhile Anyway, traditionally when a middle or lower middle class family out in the boonies Anticipates that famous quinceaños are 15 year old party they'll save money borrow some from friends and family and even get a mortgage and they'll invite all their relatives living in the nearby or Not so nearby big Latin cities and as part of the quinceaños tradition They'll rent 1 2 3 5 even 10 chicken buses and they'll deck them out with hundreds of colorful balloons

[14:29] They'll motor to the big city sometimes even fly because often time the drivers are drunk They'll stop at a collection point pick up all the relatives and such drive them to that reddit hall and the fiesta will begin So take note that wherever you are in Latin America If you see 1 2 3 or even 10 chicken buses decked out in balloons It's quinceaños day for some lucky Latina 15 year old now on that subject of the poor and middle class living way out in the boonies or even in The congested kind of scruffy areas of any big Latin city in places you and I would never think to work play or live in If you're driving through you'll always come across 1 2 3 or even a half dozen pretty nice houses Which you might call solid middle-class first-world houses in a dirty scruffy neighborhood

[15:15] They look out of place way too good for the neighborhood So they do grab your attention and for newbie green gringos who see that for the first time They're thinking man. That must be the richest guy in the neighborhood. He owns some kind of business in town Maybe he's even an Arco but in any event he or that family is living better than everyone else in the neighborhood Then inevitably you're thinking if a guy's got money Why in the hell would he ever live in a neighborhood like that? Well, most cases the answer is he's not rich He's not an important businessman in town He's not even a narco if you were to knock on the door of that house and say hi to the family You'd find a single woman with a couple of kids. Maybe she's got a brother sister mother father living there, too It is a big house, you know much bigger than any of the other ones in the neighborhood for sure She's got a living made. So where's dad? Where's poppy the head of the house?

[16:02] Well turns out in many cases. He's not living there at all. He's living up in the United States and he's been there for years He slipped in as an illegal alien long time ago Establish himself in some kind of job who knows what and true to the family spirit sends back remisses every month So that family is living high off the hot and Latins Well being Latins have to show off They just love to one up the neighbors whenever they can of course There's quite a few gringos like that too But generally that seems to be a defect of the young up in the States and most of us hopefully grow out of that But for Latins if anything it gets worse with age in all socioeconomic classes Which is why you'll see in all poor low-class middle class and dumpy neighborhoods a couple of nice new

[16:48] Seemingly first-world houses mixed in if not right next door Back to back with tin roof checks and other structures that wouldn't pass code up in the States if they were garages So why am I bringing this up when it was mentioned on a past show quite a while ago? Because something rather nasty has happened since then now, you know, I mentioned there are places I recommend gringos and expats to live in places. I say you should never step foot in those are the places where that Extortions and gangs and all the nasty violent things occur that you hear about in the first world news So the rule is simple stay out at a low-class scruffy junky neighborhoods and us gringos and expats who live down here We know where those places are that said since lower and middle-class Latin families who receive remeases are so

[17:34] Insistent on demonstrating their wealth and their good fortune to their neighbors Anyone with a half a brain driving through such a neighborhood can tell in a second who's got the dough Who's getting the remeases and now just in the last year or so a new extortion game has appeared throughout Latin America Since the bad guys were always hearing about live in those crappy neighborhoods It was just a matter of time before they figure it out The guy with the nicest house had money coming in from the states and now They're pulling a new kind of extortion game In fact, you're starting to see it on the nightly news quite a bit Nope, not your nightly news up in Seattle or Cleveland. I'm talking about the local 6 o'clock news here in Latin America For example, just saw a report last night get this and this is being repeated over and over now in Latin America last night

[18:21] a reporter was in a very crappy neighborhood standing outside a gigantic first world style house like a nugget of gold popping out of a sea of turds The reporter was interviewing the lady of the house obviously uneducated lower class, but definitely with money She'd obviously just come from the beauty parlor real gold chains bling and an iPhone and with a tear in her eye She was telling the story of how a couple months earlier. She received an extortion note She was approached by a tough-looking guy who said if she didn't pay a hundred thousand dollars US They were gonna kidnap her ten-year-old kid. Of course, they didn't ask for the local funny money They asked for us funny money because remisses come in dollars. Well, she got in contact with her husband up in the States You know the guy who was sending the remisses. He said no way no one's got that kind of money

[19:11] But not to worry because he was gonna have his two brothers also living in that town move into the house And that would be kind of protection for the whole family All right So a month later the kid got kidnapped at that point She called the cops explained the whole thing to them admitted She had little control of her kid who'd go out and play with his buddies at all hours Meanwhile up in states her husband who had been there around ten years already He'd scraped together ten grand sent it to his wife The extortionist took it said they wanted the rest within two weeks or they were gonna kill the kid two weeks went by No money and they really did kill the kid So the husband up in the states all shook up slipped back into Latin America went to the funeral The local TV station had an interview with him too. And wouldn't you know it?

[19:58] He's got an I love New York t-shirt on a Yankee baseball hat a ton of gold chains and Ray-Ban sunglasses And in the interview, yes, he was sad and remorseful But he just had to throw in a few English slang words Just a classless guy once again trying to impress the neighbors and I'm sure it never crossed his mind or anyone else's there The reason why they were singled out for that extortion and ultimate kidnapping and death I mean really more than once this want to be living in New York proved himself to be a clueless uneducated idiot Now later on in the piece the reporter went to the cemetery even at the cemetery It was all about this family demonstrating to their friends and neighbors that they'd made it They were much better off than everyone else turns out New York daddy

[20:45] But the biggest gaudiest and tallest mausoleum in the whole cemetery with a sculpted facsimile of the kids face Right in the tombstone. So just as their house was the biggest gaudiest thing in the neighborhood So was the kids tombstone the biggest most out-of-place mausoleum in the whole cemetery now being a part-time cynic I was thinking what a bunch of idiots They were asking for trouble not only were they setting themselves up for whatever bad guys there were in the community They surely had some jealous and pissed off neighbors who certainly didn't wish them well Then daddy with his big ego and his pumped up first world fantasies Comes back for the funeral tries to play the conquering hero again and just doesn't get it Why does the drive to show off supersede all other considerations?

[21:31] That's why most Latins watching that broadcast got a completely different message They're thinking wow if I could just get to the United States I'd have the swan you a medicano I could send back remisses and live happily ever after Kinda now if there's one thing I've learned about Latins, especially the poorer ones They're fatalists and when something good bad ugly or even great happens They always say is in los manos de Dios. It was in God's hands He did it that way when something really bad happens Latins don't have to necessarily shoulder all the blame They can shift it to the mystical realm which brings to mind my favorite Benjamin Franklin story Nope, this has nothing to do with hundred-dollar bills It has everything to do with when he was a young adult and playing around with electricity Franklin was quite an inventor one of his inventions was the lightning rod and he demonstrated it to many

[22:22] Scientific societies including the many prestigious ones in Europe He proved without a doubt that if you put one of these lightning rods on a tall building like a barn and ran a wire From it to earth ground if a building so equipped got hit by lightning The lighting would be harmlessly directed toward ground In fact, one of the greatest dangers in the colonial times was fire from lightning hitting a tall structure Because you see lightning always tends to hit the highest point therefore the tallest buildings Anyway, Benjamin Franklin patented his lightning rod then in time businesses and farmers who had large Vulnerable wooden barns started purchasing his lightning rods in record numbers It turned out most everyone with a tall building got into the act except the churches

[23:08] They came out on the pulpit and in the newspapers saying Lightning was God's tool the staff of God and man had no business Fooling with it meaning of course if your barn or your house or your building got hit by lightning and it burned down Or worse yet if you or your family member got hit by lightning It was due to the will or the punishment of God himself Meanwhile a few years after Franklin invented the lightning rod and all the tall buildings around adapted it except the churches The only buildings that got hit by lightning and burned down were guess what? Churches then suddenly the pastors on the pulpits and in the press Became very silent about man fooling with the staff of God Soon enough lightning rods started appearing on every church in the nation in the world in fact

[23:54] Hmm. All right taking a left turn now Remember last week we were talking about how a new law is being forced through the Senate now They've called it a financial crimes and anti money laundering law. Yeah, right Well, it's real purpose is for the government to find out where all your assets are If you've got crypto currencies how much etc Well at the same time airports have new rules about passengers coming from foreign countries and landing in US airports So now they're saying when flying from a foreign country to the US You should plan on getting to the airport one to two hours earlier than normal Why because they'll be inspecting all your electronic equipment and you better have it all charged up And if they can't open your device because your battery is low you won't be traveling with it They'll keep it or who knows what they'll do with it

[24:40] So with that new edict coming just a day or two ago. I'm already getting emails from people complaining. Listen to this one This comes from one of our expat insider alumnus Kelsey and I'll paraphrase this a bit Yes, if you're in a foreign country They now tell you you have to be at the airport four hours before your scheduled departure So my wife and I got up at 2 30 a.m Saturday morning to be at the airport by 3 a.m for at 7 a.m flight Also, we couldn't check in online all passengers had to check in at the airport in person So there were massive lines the delta ticket agents However did not show up till 4 15 and then they turned on the self-check-in kiosk right after that So we could have had an extra hour and a half of sleep. Yep, johnny They're doing everything they can to make travel suck. Oh, but it gets worse

[25:31] I wasn't paying attention after going through customs in atlanta once I landed in the us And guess what? I took one step across the wrong doorway threshold I stepped toward the ground transportation doorway to the right instead of connecting flights to the left then Three tsa employees rushed me and when I turned around with one foot on the threshold and one on the other They made us exit the concourse and check in upstairs as if we were just coming in and arriving through the parking lot the first time They made us recheck our bags and go through security again with the atlanta people Just for taking one effing step to the left instead of the right again The us is doing everything they can to make traveling to a foreign country and back suck

[26:19] Well, thanks for that kelsey And I know you've got your own plan b well in hand And for all of you who haven't got a plan b yet or just thinking about it I do plan on having another expat insider seminar again in central america mostly way off the gringo tourist trail It'll start saturday january 6 2018 through thursday, january 11 2018 If you're interested in getting in on the early bird list, that'll mean some discounts, of course Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com By the way, if you can't make it to one of my seminars and you haven't got boots on the ground yet There's no better way to get organized than to take my expat insider course Check it out and get your special introductory freebie from me by going to expat plan b.com People are saying they just can't leave the quantity and quality of the info they get in that package

[27:08] And finally since everyone's plans are a bit different If you want me to help you hash things out in your own plan b with a one-on-one skype or phone consult First go to www.thenewexpat.com to download my phone consult Questionnaire and even if we don't end up talking personally, you'll get a lot of good ideas just by reviewing it So go to www.thenewexpat.com download that questionnaire. It's free This is the expat files living in latin america If you want me to help you out with your own plan b just schedule a one-on-one consult Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to learn how to move forward with your own plan b from right up there in the states Go to www.expatplanb.com and check out my three videos. See ya nos vemos