#624 – The Expat Files: Visa Extensions, Decameron Hotels, and More

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border, down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the Expat Files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started now I got a little proposition for one of you listeners who might be an IT or YouTube kind of person as you might know My shorts are going out on YouTube now. I've got about a hundred of them But unfortunately, I'm around 10 to 15 shows behind now

[00:47] And I'm starting to get emails from people calling me on that fact Some even wondering if I've suddenly gone native now without going into details why I'm so behind on that I have to admit listeners continuously send me emails asking me if they can do something help out in turn Whatever to get a substantial discount on one of my expat insider seminars or possibly even come for free Well since I'm getting more and more behind on my youtubes How about this for a deal if there's a YouTube savvy listener out there who wants to start putting them up for me? That would be two half-hour shows a week, you know, I'll be happy to work out a deal with you Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com and I'll tell you what it involves and how to get started So what's in it for me keeping the youtubes going and flowing and up-to-date and for you possibly a free expat insider

[01:39] Seminar that said since I did that update on the Decameron hotels and their package deals where you can possibly Live for a whole year in all-inclusive resort luxury on Social security checker list. Well, I kind of started an avalanche of emails people asking a lot of questions Some even making me the offer to pay for me to go to a Decameron just to work out the deal for them in Spanish You know be alongside them as interpreter and negotiator Well, surprise surprise. I actually did that for someone not so long ago Beat the hell out of the salesman to he walked away hating me but the people I was with got the deal They wanted now that expat couple I was with they were from Philadelphia. By the way

[02:25] They're right at this minute spending three months at a particular Decameron in Colombia Making their plans to move every three months to another one So they don't have to get permanent residency and they could discover the ones they like the best Then they'll stay in that country and it could be Columbia and apply for a residency That way then, you know You don't have to pop in and out of the country every 90 days or go down to immigration in that country and get an extension For another 90 days, which is usually the case if you want to remain in that country a while longer Now that procedure sometimes confuses people they know At least from my show and blogs and such that you get a 90-day Tourist visa in almost every Latin country if you're coming from a first world country like the US or Canada and most people believe they have

[03:13] To leave that Latin country every 90 days or else they've overstayed their tourist visa and have to pay a fine on the way out Well, that's true However, if you decide to stay in that country more than 90 days You actually don't have to leave you can go down to the immigration office It's usually in the capital city of that country, which by the way can present a logistics problem For example, if you're staying on a Pacific Beach Coast town in Nicaragua I have to go to Managua the capital to get a visa extension. Well, you're gonna waste at least a whole day of your time Maybe two so along with transportation costs and maybe a hotel for a night that might cost you 30 to 50 dollars more in addition for the paperwork and government fees Plus in some cases you'll have to leave your passport there for a couple days too

[04:02] And then you go back and pick it up after they've placed the proper stamp. Yeah, right Typical Latin bureaucracy a couple of days just to get a stamp what a bunch of slugs, huh? So that's what it takes to get a 90-day extension But note that most Latin countries won't let you do that more than once a year So then after that second 90 days, you'll have to get out of the country usually an overnighter And then you could come back in if that's your plan and you'll start all over on a 90-day tourist visa Does that sound complicated to you? If not Let me throw something else into the mix that might change your mind There's a group of four Central American countries. That would be Guatemala Honduras Nicaragua and El Salvador They made an agreement not so long ago to have their borders open to residents of those four countries

[04:52] In other words, you can travel back and forth from Guatemala Honduras Nicaragua El Salvador without bringing your passport just show them your national ID card or DPI It's called at the border crossing and go right through no passport necessary And of course, if you get a residency in a Latin American country, you'll get one of those cards, too Now those four Central American countries made that deal so that people could pass back and forth easily without Going through a lot of crap and forms and bureaucracy at immigration and customs land borders. You just pull out that card They swipe it through the computer and you walk right through So contrary to common logic there actually was at one time anyway Forward-thinking Latin bureaucrat who actually streamlined the process Instead of making it more difficult for the average Latin person though

[05:41] I'm sure his boss has discovered that weakness and fired him shortly afterward So for Latins from those four countries, it's ridiculously easy to cross the border However, this does present a problem for a first world tourists who want to stay in one of those four countries For more than 90 days and you'll never guess why like I said You could go down to the capital city after your first 90 and get an extension for 90 more Then when that's up, you have to get out of the country Well, here's the confusing part as it turns out those four Central American countries I named Guatemala Nicaragua Honduras and Salvador have that internal open border agreement But they also slipped in a rule in that if you're on a 90-day tourist visa Like gringos and expats will be when they first get down

[06:28] You can't just pop over to one of those adjacent countries get your passport stamped and jump right back You have to travel to a country outside of those four So for example if you're in Guatemala You can't pop over to Honduras or El Salvador adjacent countries and get another 90-day extension by staying for a day or two And popping right back instead. You got to go to a country outside of those four That means if you're in Guatemala on a 90-day tourist visa and you want to come back in the country if you're doing the land Border thing you have to go to Mexico or Belize now That's something that's not well publicized and few people know about it, but they will find out soon enough In fact, I've spoken to many a gringo who said hey man Nobody ever told me you couldn't pop over to Salvador and come back into Guatemala and get another 90 days

[07:15] In fact more than once I've heard freshly arrived backpackers whining about it Why doesn't someone tell us about these things? I spent two whole days screwing around and I'll solve the door when I came back to Guatemala. They wouldn't let me in Well, that's because backpacker, dude These are third world countries and nothing involving the government of bureaucracy is easy or well planned or spelled out But you know seasoned travelers especially long-term backpackers. I mean long-term backpackers now They eventually find out all about that stuff because they've got their own little grapevine Yep, those gringo travelers who go to backpacker hostels have their ears to the ground They know about that stuff, especially after being burned a few times But then again backpackers always have more time than money so I can't see what they're whining about

[08:04] Oh, and by the way, they also know which border crossings are fastest easiest and which ones are most lenient Say what? Well, like I said, the rules are you have to pop off to another country every 90 days for at least 24 hours then you could pop right back into your preferred Latin country and get another 90-day tourist visa Automatically, but you'll find out if you've been down here long enough There are some small laid-back borders on country roads and some very busy borders Just loaded with trucks and beggars and hangers on just the definition of Latin American third world chaos And surprise surprise that some of those laid-back country borders where there's not much action You can in fact go through the border in the adjacent country hit a restaurant have a cup of coffee tofu burger, whatever

[08:53] Yuck and walk right back through the border get a stamp on your passport and have a tourist visa for another 90 days Technically the law doesn't allow that as mentioned the rules require you to be out of the country 24 hours or more But this is Latin America, you know So why am I bringing this up? Well, I'm continuously getting emails about the decameron from people wondering about Residency and if they have to pop out of the country every three months if they're staying long term at any particular decameron Now if you remember I mentioned that the couple from Philadelphia said at first They were gonna go three months at a time to different decameron's and decide which one or ones They like best then apply for permanent residency in that country Then they could stay at that decameron in that country for as long as they want

[09:42] Now not all Latin countries have a decameron and others have many like Colombia. They have I think around 15 So that couple from Phillies main idea was to check out the decam runs in Colombia That way if they got their residency there They have a lot to choose from move between many decam runs and never get bored Maybe because you know, even if you're in a Sun drenched seaside paradise You have to have a little variation in variety in your life You can get bored of anything right which brings us to a very interesting email from longtime listener Dave Who's married to a Colombian girl today? He checks in with a report from a Colombian decameron Colombia is where the whole decameron idea started. That was back in 1987 so today Dave has his own decameron club story

[10:30] He was on the lookout for the best deal possible, too So Dave writes salute us in Feliz año nuevo Johnny. You all know what that means, right? He says as promised Johnny here's part one of my club decameron story now as I read through this I'm gonna comment here and there too Just to clarify and add a few things for any of you listeners out there thinking about trying this yourself now I want to emphasize again. I get absolutely nothing for talking about the decameron Remember all I'm here to do is to give you the good the bad the ugly and the great concerning expats living down here In Latin America as always you have to collect as much information as you can roll the dice and take a chance sometime Like expat Eddie always says if you find something that excites you and scares the crap out of you at the same time

[11:17] You should probably do it That said I'll paraphrase this when necessary, but here goes he starts out Johnny I found your first show from several years ago on the Decameron Club membership The one about the two bikers living there on about ten thousand bucks per year for an entire year Very intriguing it was it became this little worm in my brain that would wiggle around every time I dreamed about getting off the hamster wheel Yes, I kept thinking about it Especially on my annual pilgrimage back to Columbia to visit my wife's parents now the decameron thing Seemed too good to be true But it did sound like an amazing way to spend a year and I always thought it would be a great book even if I

[12:02] Documented the whole experience So after hearing those first few shows and mulling the idea around for a couple of years I finally decided to check it out this past January when we were down in Columbia visiting my wife's family over the holidays They live in Barranquilla So we typically spend the first 10 days or so with them then reserve the last couple of days for ourselves in Cartagena Where we catch our return flight? Anyway on the day before our flight back to the Great White North We decided to spend a few hours down at the beach have lunch and finally check out this mythical club membership at the Decameron Cartagena in Boca Grande by the way Boca Grande means big mouth Now Johnny I can confirm to your esteemed listeners that the deal

[12:50] Really does exist and that we experienced a very similar sales process to the one you described on your show Very slick professional and first world at least ours was except this being Columbia I'll tell you the sales ladies in Cartagena I'm sure were much prettier than the sales force had other decamerons and a few of them Just simply gorgeous, but I digress So upon arriving at the Decameron hotel a greeter met us as soon as we walked up the driveway This being Columbia. She was attractive and well put together hair makeup high heels and a tight skirt and blouse The usual Latina sexy dress style we told her we were interested to learn about the club membership at Decameron

[13:36] Which we later found out is actually called multi Vacationes She was delighted not to have to lure us in with a regular general sales pitch as we already knew a bit about it and She ushered us immediately into a large conference room off the lobby The room had six to eight small tables with teams of salespersons Attending customers all of whom appeared to be Latinos and the vast majority Likely from Bogota to escape the cold and hit the beaches over Christmas holidays Oh, and here's a professional Colombian tip You can usually spot a cachaco by the fresh red burn and fashionable socks with sandals ensemble Cachaco is someone from Bogota by the way Anyway, me and my wife were introduced to two pretty and friendly young ladies in their early 20s almost right away

[14:26] They qualified us by asking if we had a debit or credit card and could they please see it? I had purposely left my cards back at the hotel as I didn't intend to buy the club package on this trip But my wife showed her Banko de Bogota card Little did they know that she didn't have nearly enough of a credit line to support buying the club package But the old gringo advantage rides again Then upon demonstrating our financial viability We were then asked if we wanted anything to drink the first young lady Then explained the basic program details to us and answered some questions The second lady took us over and walked us through more details about the various hotels how the point system work the standard pricing and such And they were careful at various times throughout the process to

[15:13] Requalify us by asking if we were still interested and if we liked what we were hearing so far That's when they laid down the very first offer let the negotiations begin After all I felt had nothing to lose and not even the means to pay why not hear the spiel So they gave us their first offer and I replied by saying truthfully the price was more expensive than we thought and I heard It was less expensive in the past. Is there anything you can do about that price? I asked Okay, she began to explain some other options But by this point it had already been over an hour the noise and the effort to concentrate was starting to get to me A bit the room was very noisy with music and conversations not to mention our discussions were entirely in Spanish Although I would occasionally lean on my wife to translate or repeat something

[16:01] I didn't quite catch the first time for those who have never had the pleasure Colombian costaños Spanish is quite difficult to follow they speak rapidly and don't finish the last letters and syllables of some words Adding to that difficulty being a non-native speaker trying to tune out all the conversations and the music Well, you know how that is Latins just love to crank up the volume. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about here Johnny Yeah, Dave. I sure do It's me again Oftentimes when I'm sitting down getting a spiel from a car dealer insurance guy internet service provider, whatever I'll tell them right off the bat. Hey look You'll have to speak a little slower for me because I'm a gringo not a native speaker And while you're at it turn down the music they get it because well, they want to make the sale, don't they?

[16:50] Okay, then he says Johnny. I asked if we could go somewhere quieter to talk They brought us to a nice table on the patio again offered drinks took me through the options which didn't improve the deal much Then left us alone a while to mull it over I think they sensed my waning enthusiasm which was their cue I guess to try another strategy then an older guy, but still in his young 30 sat down with us He was clearly the sales manager and had the authority to negotiate better deals Now what we were offered up till now was enough points for a year But at a price was double what the bikers in your story paid Johnny Not to mention you must consider that this was just for the room and accommodations and did not include food and drinks Which were to be paid in addition as you reported in your last update now after explaining

[17:39] We had heard from a friend that better deals were available He offered us yet another deal which was supposedly only available to employees of big companies The key is we had the flexibility to pay for six months worth of points at half the price Yep, and the game went on and then negotiations continued and he offered then to throw in 20% more points for the same price Finally another round came and he pulled out the big guns a closure that surely hooks the broken Spirit of any Latino by that time get this a three-day stay in Orlando we won the Latin lottery to Disney World the Magic Kingdom Mickey Mouse Mecca

[18:24] Yep it was a soft spot sucker punch in any Latinos book and this on top of a three-day all Inclusive stay at any decamaron resort, but I believe everyone gets that if they sign up and listen to the spiel Okay, it's me again Johnny. Yep. He's right about that If you listen to the spiel you automatically get three days and two nights full accommodations at any decamaron Absolutely worth wasting an hour to an hour and a half of your time. It's worth a couple hundred bucks. Anyway Now they never tried the Mickey Mouse Mecca sucker punch on me You think they knew being a gringo? I'd be less than impressed probably not It's Disney World for crepes sakes just a stone's throw from my jammy Anyway, Dave goes on to say by this time. I was starting to feel like I might be getting the deal

[19:12] I was interested in but I still needed more time to think and work the numbers over However, they didn't want us to escape. That's the trick Then the guy said tell you what we'll bring your poolside and treat you to a free buffet lunch, by the way It's me Johnny again There is a difference to the approach that they made to Dave versus the one they made to me just a month or so ago You see I was on a decamaron vacation already The sales reps for the decamaron club approached me as I was walking on the ground However with Dave he made a special trip down to a decamaron hotel And wasn't staying there. He just made a trip in to check out the deal So their offer of food and free drinks while he was getting the spiel was not part of some pre-arranged vacation trip He and his wife showed up and they tried to wine and dine him to sweeten up the deal

[20:01] Then Dave goes on by saying after being tagged with plastic bracelets off We went to hit the food buffet after eating and talking it over with my wife and working out the math I decided it wasn't a bad deal Although not nearly as good as what the bikers got the ones you mentioned a few years back on your program, Johnny We decided to go for it and met with hefe It was then that I had to break the news to him that I didn't have my credit card with me No problem. He said i'll just drive you back to your hotel to get it And so he did he made sure my wife remained back at the decamaron hotel. So we wouldn't escape It's me johnny again. Yep. Just like a car dealer does not want you to leave the showroom Same thing with a slick polished timeshare presentation. They do not want you to get out of the door

[20:52] Then they know they've lost you. Anyway, then dave says the final deal we negotiated was this One the total cost was 6 000 us dollars with 1800 down and 4200 to be paid in 36 monthly installments This gave us 1200 points that could be used over 20 years negotiated up from a thousand points Three free days at any decamaron hotel, but everyone who listens to the spiel gets that Three free days in orlando and i'm so excited about that. I'm peeing my pants Then there's an affiliate program with rci hotels There's around 2000 of those in the world and this was attractive to me as our next trip. We were going to spain That said when we returned from our hotel

[21:38] We learned they would need about an hour to process the credit card and prepare all the documentation for our signatures I said, can we go down to the beach while we wait? Sure So armed with plastic bracelets, which allowed us everywhere We headed off to the beach for an hour and a half while I pounded free drinks at the beach bar to congratulate myself on my superb negotiation skills and frankly relieve the stress of what was essentially a $6,000 impulse buy So once the contracts were read and signed in spanish, of course They recorded everything and asked at each step if we understood the terms and what we were signing It was finally over we shook hands smiles all around and as a finishing touch They called us a cab The price was confirmed with a cabbie and I was given the money to pay the driver

[22:26] Once we arrived back at our own hotel. How about that? Looking back? I have to say it was a class act Everyone was at all times nice polite differential professional and had no problems answering my many questions and staying patient through the negotiations That night however while lying in bed. I began to feel the cold sweat of wires remorse. I just spent six grand That's roughly a billion dollars canadian On a purchase. I really hadn't planned At least not yet. And when was I going to use it? I'm not financially independent and won't be for five to eight years unless I hit the lottery Not the mickey mouse lottery either. I already won that What if decameron changes the points system along the way and require more points to stay?

[23:12] Even though they say it's guaranteed. This is latin america You know and membership costs have already risen substantially Since you made your first report about the decameron a few years back and now excludes food and beverages Then the questions come what if they don't have rooms available during the few weeks per year We have to travel turns out while we were signing and going through the fine print They don't let you take advantage of the affiliation program with other hotels until your one year into the program And there was a fee to join so we couldn't use it for our spain trip. We were planning that summer What if we booked a room and made the trip only to find upon arrival at the hotel that they didn't have a record Of our reservation my god, johnny. What have I done? Did I do the right thing? Is there anything I do to get out of this? We're talking latin america here once they have your money

[24:01] They ain't letting go Or maybe I did find a way Did I somehow successfully end up wrangling my money back or must I now use all those points? Have I taken a trip to a decameron resort since I bought the plan? Don't worry all will be revealed in my next and final installment Signed david. Okay. Dave will be looking for that report Now really shifting gears here. I saw something amazing on latin television just last night Now most everything in latin america is a bad copy of things up in the first world And they make even worse copies of bad things we have up in the first world Like you know cooking shows terrible panel game and talk shows judge judy clones american idol in this case latin american idol

[24:52] And pretty much every rotten show you see on channels like e entertainment tv Latin tv copies it even worse if that's possible and they also have their versions of the three major networks They have monopolies and hugely popular syndicated channels mostly out of mexico city So no matter where you are in latin america, you can usually pick up three or four big Mexican tv stations then of course, there are those hugely popular two or three telenovela soap opera channels, too Anyway, just last night on latin six o'clock news in a big syndicated station out of mexico city They had a special report concerning a famous witch. Yep. I said witch Of course lack of education goes hand in hand with superstition And that's why every single latin knows at least one witch or bruja. Nope. They're not the pointy-headed

[25:42] satan-worshipping broomstick kind they're the normal looking crystal ball gazing tarot card reading fortune-telling kind So whether it's for love money health luck or just casting a nasty spell on someone who did you wrong The locals mostly poor and middle-class women anti-up their hard-earned pesos and keep these frauds in business And this particular program highlighted a very famous witch in mexico Who had her entire parlor decked out in trump pictures and trump dolls Yep, she was in the process of organizing all the witches she could get a hold of to cast evil spells on donald trump She said in her interview if she and the other witches couldn't soften trump up on his immigration stance

[26:28] She and the other witches would just make him sick So there she was on tv with a donald trump doll blowing smoke in his face his eyes his ears and his nose Then frankly some kind of powdery crap in his hair Talk about nutcases if these people aren't whacked And apparently get this through the grapevine all the tens of thousands of witches in latin america The brujas are spending a few moments a day doing exactly the same thing casting their spells and their voodoo on donald trump That said i'm right in the middle of doing an expat insider seminar And for those of you who couldn't make it down or just can't get boots on the ground yet remember There's my new expat essentials course the very best way to get that plan b working

[27:16] From right up there in the comfort of your own home. Yep. You'll need a step-by-step plan So just go to expat plan b.com and check out my three free videos to see what it's all about That's expat plan b.com You're gonna like it South of the border This is the expat files living in latin america If you want me to help you out with your own plan b just schedule a one-on-one consult Send me an email at the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to learn how to move forward with your own plan b from right up there in the states go to www.expatplanb.com and check out my three videos. See ya nos vemos