#600 – The Expat Files: Internet Connectivity, Real Estate, and Cultural Insights in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started All right, something of a minor milestones happen today. This is my six hundred expat files living in Latin America show That's nearly six years worth of shows running two a week And you know, one of the amazing things is that I've been able to go this long without getting fired

[00:46] But I think I know why because you know, this is 100% truth pull no punches alternative media In other words, unlike the first world bought and paid for media I don't have to suck up to anyone or kiss any advertiser ass. No, no editing censoring or brown nose in here better yet I'm always broadcasting from somewhere south of the border I haven't done a single one of the 600 shows from a country that doesn't speak Spanish Which would make it awful difficult for big brother to send down a killer drone now Wouldn't it have to have a pretty big battery pack and be shotgun resistant by the way next time you listen to a show That's purportedly giving you information about being an expat question How long that guy or gal spend an expat and question where they're broadcasting from if they're not broadcasting as an expat in another country

[01:31] Well, how good is that information and what's the point because you know lately there are so many people out there preaching this stuff Who haven't got much information or boots on the ground just trying to hook you so they can sell you something But you knew that already right that said let's get on with the shoe Everyone wants to have a nice solid internet connection. I mean, that's the basis of business and commerce, right? Which is why one of the big questions people ask me all the time is how are the internet connections in Latin America? to which I always say if you're near or in a town small medium or large they're gonna be just fine or Situated near a big road or a highway that'd be fine, too Whereas if you're out in the boonies You might not be near a cable run and it'll depend on where the cell towers are and they're virtually everywhere

[02:16] But more spread out in the countryside Then you'll be able to use one of those USB stick mobile internets Like I'm using right now and how I send my shows when they're done up to New York and elsewhere for rebroad casting, etc Now, of course having one of these wireless internets on a stick is kind of a last resort You want a solid wired internet connection if you can get one for your home office, of course and for your smartphone Well, that's another thing altogether. There's plenty of coverage there But that's not really where most people who have internet businesses tend to run the show. It's usually in a home office So then how about all these first world subdivisions and home developments going up? How's the internet there? Yep with this great big real estate bubble throughout Latin America There are countless numbers of truly first world subdivisions and real estate and business development projects that look like they were

[03:07] Transported directly from a high-end area in the States However, you have to look out because many of them have very low occupancy rates Keep an eye out at night and you'll see very few lights in fact It always sort of cracks me up when I drive by these places and you see the big Billboards in front of the entrance saying stuff like last chance by you now only two units left It's now or never or some such pumped-up realtor rot Yep, that's the con lately, but it doesn't fool everyone and how do I know that well because when I drive by certain signs I see they've been saying the exact same thing last two units available for the past two or three years How's that possible? anyway if you decide to render by in one of these new subdivisions and there are only 20 or 30 homes occupied in a

[03:55] 200 lot housing development There's a good chance you'll be stuck with using one of those tiny wireless USB modems like I said I'm using because the big cell phone and internet companies won't wire the place unless they have a minimum of about one-third occupancy In fact, I've been down to the big internet company offices like clado and Tigo And that's exactly what they've told me once they've got around a third occupancy. They'll wire the place So for all intents and purposes it looks like a brand new upscale first world development But there won't be any hardwired internet or even cable TV until they get the right numbers However, if you're just the average internet user don't let that bug you too much You can always use a wireless USB modem like I do out in the coffee fields They're pretty damn good now and fast enough for moderate internet users

[04:44] However, if you have a couple of people online in your home at the same time You'll want to have one of those little USB modems for each person In fact, I tried running one through a router to disperse the signal and it's just not enough for multiple users However for a single user or if each user in your house has his own USB modem It's plenty good and you know up to about a year ago I couldn't say that except during the dry season when there was no rain or clouds Then even years ago a USB modem was perfectly fine Even though back then they were hooked up for only 3g now They're all 4g and believe it or not They work at their highest speed in the foulest of weather Shocks the hell out of me really because I've noticed that people who've got satellite TV

[05:30] That is a dish on the roof when it's raining heavily Oftentimes they'll lose their signal for a while Meanwhile the little wireless modem in the other room just keeps on chugging along Now as for me I have a pay as you go modem It's one of those you charge up regularly Or you can get one with a year or 18 month contract But then you'll have to give them all your personal information bank account stuff Some expats with contracts have an SA corporation that owns it Or they get their lawyer to handle it Which are other ways to keep a very low profile And keep your name off all the paperwork and such But if you really want a low profile with little or no hassle at all Get one of those little pay as you go USB modems In fact some gringos I know have a regular internet contract service And one of those little pay as you go modems

[06:17] That they use for personal and confidential stuff And they run it through an IP tunnel to double their security More on that in another show So stay tuned So how do you charge up those little wireless modems with dough and minutes? You do that by going to a little tienda Giving the guy behind the counter the phone number on the thing They do have phone numbers you know That's how they connect to the system when you first plug them in So normally I'll put maybe 20 bucks into my modem And I select a plan where I pay just under 2 bucks a day I could select a plan that charges more or one that charges less But that works out best for me and what I do on the internet Now depending on the plan you choose you can select between 2 and 10 megabits per second But like I said that's only been in the last year or so when they changed over to 4G and beyond

[07:04] Or what they sometimes call 4G light Now I know I know for some of you up in first world land 5 or 10 megabits per second is like taking a slow stroll through the park No great shakes Especially you guys and gals out there who have the latest and greatest iPhones and androids And a million apps going at once Even so 5 to 10 megabits per second is plenty good for 95 to 98% of all gringos down here Who just use the internet as normal people would do Plus the fact that these days the internet rarely cuts out Although do note this is latin america and something can always go wrong And you couldn't end up spending two or three hours down at the local internet provider office Yep spinning your wheels for a while getting pissed off

[07:50] And wondering why they've got three times as many people as necessary And still you can't seem to get anything accomplished Everyone seems to be doing something but at the same time seems to have a thumb up their ass Well that's because our first world upbringing has programmed us To lay out the problem and expect some immediate efficient action But this is latin america which is why you're bound to get frustrated with a lot of things you see down here Bottom line things just never seem to happen fast enough for the likes of us gringos Especially with the language barrier Which is why so many of us when we can't get our point across just get louder And some of us boil over and blow a gasket All the while the latin standing around watching the show Just can't see why someone would get so upset

[08:35] In fact in my case I used to blow a gasket regularly But that was in the first two or three years I was down when there was no internet And practically no decent cell phone service to speak of Back then people with landlines felt lucky if their call got through on the third try But that was then All right let's talk about some internet speeds Here's some stats for you From an article that came out yesterday in a popular latin american business journal It says according to cloud services provider company At Kami and their second quarter worldwide internet report of this year It states Costa Rica is falling behind the rest of latin america in internet speed and connectivity Costa Rica has had an 8.4 percent drop in the average connection speed

[09:24] Compared to the same quarter last year Adding that between late 2014 and june of this year Costa Rica fell 20 positions in broadband internet ranking Compared to other latin countries close to the bottom surpassing only Paraguay Bolivia, Venezuela and Belize Regarding internet connectivity and speed Reporting that the average internet speed in Costa Rica is now at 3.5 megs Then it says only 27 percent of internet connections in Costa Rica are higher than 4 megs Costa Rica's loss of competitiveness recently is due to the basic deterioration of their infrastructure with internet speeds far below the world average And below most all countries in their region

[10:10] So why is that you might ask when it's a place that's packed with gringos Who expect first world tip top internet connectivity and speed In fact Costa Rica has more gringos per capita than any other latin country Well it's easy to see what's at fault and who is to blame Costa Rica has a state owned electricity and telecommunications provider One of the few latin countries who has not completely privatized those utilities Boy if that doesn't say it all, huh? That said if you're somewhere along on your plan B right now You're going to want to know this information The average internet speeds for various latin countries Oh and by the way if you want this report just send me an email And I'll shoot it off to you it's in PDF And in English how about that Okay just briefly It says the United States has an average megabit per second speed of 15.3

[11:00] Which ranks it at number 17 globally Now remember we're talking about average speeds here Not peak internet velocities which are almost never achieved consistently For example the United States can peak out at 69 megabits per second Though very infrequently So for our purposes we'll be talking about averages In the states 15.3 Canada 13.7 Mexico 7.4 megabits per second Which puts it at number 63 worldwide Then you've got Chile at 7.0 At 66 Uruguay 6.5 megabits per second Ranking at 72 amongst all countries Peru 5.5 Ranking at 84 Argentina 5.2 Ranked at 87

[11:47] Ecuador 5.1 Ranked at 89 worldwide Brazil 4.8 Ranking it at 92 worldwide Then there's Colombia 4.6 Ranking at 97 Panama 4.5 At 98 Bolivia 2.4 Ranking it at 129 Paraguay 2.0 At 135 Worldwide ranking in Venezuela Ranked way down at number 142 worldwide At 1.8 megabits per second velocity Then it says with the exception of Venezuela All Latin countries saw positive growth on a yearly basis Ranging from 1.8% in Colombia to 37% in Panama Now it also says in Latin America If you want speeds upwards of 15 megabits per second

[12:32] You can get them You have to pay of course And or be in the right location But all Latin countries including Venezuela Do have some users getting over 15 megabits per second But get this That number in Venezuela is 0.1% of the internet users That's one out of a thousand Whereas for example in Mexico 4.5% of the population using internet Have over a 15 megabyte per second velocity That's about 1 in 20 to 25 users Just about the same stats for Chile So yes, bottom line Internet for average users is slower here in Latin America But we're not average users are we? So all you have to do is sign up for a plan Where you get the speed you want And even though you won't be able to get those fantastic speeds

[13:17] You hear about in South Korea and such You can't get those in the States and Canada either But that said The speeds you can get down here are completely adequate For whatever you've got to do on the net In fact I know a number of gringos with 100% internet businesses Who don't complain at all about it In fact I say it's just fine One gringo expat I know quite well Who came down to one of my expat insider seminars He's been down a couple years now And is here for good And guess what? He has an internet business that has 1.5 million clients That's right, million And he handles all that from a little office In his house in a high-end neighborhood Not 20 minutes away from the coffee fields That I'm broadcasting from right now There you have it Just remember if you want really fast internet service

[14:04] You'll have to live in or near a city Or for example in or very near areas with high-end subdivisions That would include many long stretches on the pan-american highway Because that's one of the prime sectors for the big real estate bubble Where all the high-end growth is going on And remember if you want or need really fast internet Or have an internet business All you have to do is go down to your internet provider And they'll quickly upgrade you to a business package Down here businesses get high priority over individuals When it comes to internet Of course that means if you have a business registered with an SA corporation Whether it's in your name or not You'll automatically get shoved to the top of the pile You'll be first in line In other words it always takes a little bit longer A little bit more manana time If you're just a private individual requesting upgraded services

[14:53] Whatever So how fast do internet companies get things done If you request a change, upgrade in service, or have a problem? Well remember in the last few years Things have changed dramatically for the better Because almost all internet utilities are now owned privately Except in those oddball cases like Cuba, Venezuela, Belize, and Costa Rica So if you're going to live there or set up an internet business In one of those countries Good luck with the customer service Now in the rest of the Latin American countries Where the government has sold off at least part of their internet and utility services It's the foreign company or the foreign partner company That does the customer service Thank God However we're still talking about Latin America here And old manana style habits die hard

[15:40] Like I've said many times before The term customer service is not a concept generally known to the Latin public However with latin governments or latin businesses partnered up with first world companies Customer service does generally improve dramatically But still to us gringo is almost never to our complete satisfaction Oh and by the way I just thought of something that should make you laugh I remember a couple of decades ago when I first arrived in Latin America There were some local brands of junk food in the tiendas and supermarkets And of course there was always a small section of expensive imported First world junk food brands like Cheetos and Doritos Lays potato chips and such So even back then Latin countries had a tiny variety of their own crappy brands of junk food

[16:29] At half the cost of the US import brands By the way pretzels have only come down to Latin America recently I'd say more than five years ago or so You couldn't find a pretzel if your life depended on it Not a big fan myself but just to mention it in case you are Anyway as mentioned all latin countries had their own versions of very common junk foods Like cheese curls corn chips called tostadas and potato chips Which by the way down here are called papalinas papalinas And of course we mustn't forget the fried pork rinds called chicharrones down here God are those disgusting But you know I'll never forget what one latin friend once said to me While we were sitting around with expat eddy at one of his sushi restaurants in San Salvador

[17:15] He said your American import junk food companies have taught our junk food companies a bad lesson He said until you guys flooded the market here with your junk food All of our junk food packages were filled to the brim Now they're just like American junk food When you open the bag it's only half full Boy was he right Did you ever open up a bag of US junk food and see it any other way? I remember when I first got down the latin junk food companies did fill their stuff to the brim Then what did you know and after that conversation expat eddy sent me an email with a link Showing where a lady up in the states got together with her friends and sued One of the big junk food companies for false advertising Simply again because the bags were half full

[18:00] Yep sue sue sue reason 2476 Why you just got to get that plan B in action and get the hell out of the US You know get out of dodge though. I digress but not too much We did mention expat eddy the other day He brought up a very interesting point about restaurants in latin america He is the expert since he's owned quite a few for one thing He says johnny, you know You're way off the gringo tourist trail when you cannot get a menu in english and that's a good thing He says and secondly if you don't have a menu in english since most gringos don't speak spanish Many are mystified by the menu but are often so self-conscious and don't want to appear as dummies That they'll order stuff that they absolutely don't want or have an appetite for because they

[18:47] Don't want to look like well clueless gringos even though they are They're thinking only an idiot can't make his way through a simple menu so they order blindly That said today we have expat eddy's abc's of ordering from a spanish language menu First the simple part a menu is menu hard to screw that one up right Then the waiter or waitress the macero will say para tomar or para bibir which means what do you have to drink Now one of the odd things is that carbonated drinks are called gasiosas You know they have gas in them so gasiosa or they'll call them aguas Now we all know that means water right but in latin america a soft drink is also often called agua

[19:36] Don't know where that came from but it's true However it does solve the age-old question gringos always have How come when we want plain old water or bottled water the waiter will say agua pura Which means pure water right as if you might not want pure water Maybe you want to live dangerously to have some toilet water or gutter water or sewer water Well actually there is some logic to saying agua pura They call drinkable water or potable water agua pura Because they use the term agua for other kinds of drinks too Like for example sodas and non-carbonated sugar waters that look like tang and such Yuck man down here they've got tons of colored sugar water going around It's like the kool-aid capital of the world

[20:22] But surprisingly enough you don't see the brand name kool-aid Just everyone else's artificial sugar water brands And believe me the kids especially poor kids are addicted to that stuff Because it's half the price of coca-cola So don't be confused about the term agua It could be water or any kind of non-alcoholic drink That includes fruit drinks and lemonade too lemonada not too tough huh Now getting back to the menu Generally on the left side of the page there'll be the appetizers or starters Called in Spanish entradas or less commonly bokitas And drinks of any kind alcoholic or not are referred to as bebidas with a b Now the main dish on a menu is called a plato forte

[21:10] Now plato means plate easy enough right And forte means strong You upper lovers piano players and Italians out there would know that one So in a way it does make sense The strong plate which is the main plate The plato forte Now desserts in Spanish are called postres Sounds like pastry Postre and that's easy to remember And coffee is cafe And wine is vino Tea is te Sugar Azucar Salt Sal Whiskey Whiskey Vodka Vodka And napkins Servietas Most of it easy to figure out a lot of that stuff sounds like the English counterpart Or sounds like the right reference word in English And when you want to check you can say la cuenta Por favor Or la cuenta

[21:56] But for most people they just take the easy way out Signal the waiter or waitress Put their hand up in the air Pretending like they're writing something That's the signal for check please So no words are necessary And again throughout Latin America the tip is almost always included in the bill Generally 10% By the way you know you're on the gringo tourist trail If they not only add that 10% propena it's called That's a tip They also add some kind of hotel, restaurant, or tourist tax Which could be anywhere from 5 to 20% God I hate that It's just government extortion plain and simple By the way speaking of junk foods Restaurants and the influence of bad first world habits

[22:42] If there's one thing that really drives me nuts Is one day a year when they have their annual McDonald's kid day here in Latin America Man if that isn't an obvious ploy to hook poor kids on that kind of junk Yep it's McKid Day Hey I'm not making this stuff up That's when leading up to the event you'll see posters and billboards and newspaper ads Depicting very poor but happy indigenous kids at the golden arches So on that one day McKid Day All the McDonald's throw a big bash Sound systems and stages are set up in all the McDonald's parking lots Public school and even some private school kids Get the day off to go to the nearest McDonald's And participate in the festivities and get their free happy meals and such

[23:29] In fact it's hard to believe On that day you drive past the McDonald's And you'll see Ronald McDonald and all his scary looking zombie friends Doing skits on stage and handing out gifts and freebies And believe it or not TV stations even broadcast from McDonald's parking lots that day But it's really sinister It's all about pulling poor kids into the McDonald's mindset Before they can even afford to buy a happy meal Yep it's all about having future customers forever Yes but if you talk to the sponsors they'll say it's all about helping poor indigenous kids who never get a chance to enjoy the toxic pleasures That middle and upper middle class kids can engorge themselves in with regularity By the way hamburgers are known in latin america as Amberguesas

[24:15] Easy huh? Amberguesas By the way on mikid day they even have beauty contests Where the local young teenage girls come by Vy for the coveted title of Miss McDonald's Miss Amberguesa That's Miss Hamburger And Miss Papa's Fritas That's Miss French Fry Yes impressive resume builders to be sure I can imagine any young girl with the exalted title of Miss Hamburguesa Or Miss French Fry Would simply stun any university admissions committee So yes beauty pageants are a national pastime here in latin america And wouldn't you know it even McDonald's has them Oh and since we're talking about food and things that are almost like food but not quite Latins do have an appreciation for oatmeal especially in the morning

[25:04] However down here the name for it is Mosh M-O-S-H Yep like a mosh pit When you first see a bowl of mosh which is oatmeal you think Man great word really descriptive Why didn't us Gringos think of that? Mosh or mush So now that I've planted that image in your mind you'll never forget A good old bowl of oatmeal is simply mush in latin america Or mosh same thing Okay getting close to the end of the show now So I'd like to remind you once again I've got a few spots open for my January 2017 Expat Insider Seminar You've got through the end of this month October to get in on the early bird discount That's a $500 discount for a single person and a $1000 discount

[25:51] If you come down as a couple or two people sharing a room double occupancy Which is why some attendees coming down as singles ask if I can pair them up with another So they can share accommodations and get that discount Sure we've done it before so ask and you shall receive Probably So anyway you've got till the end of the month to sign up for those early bird discounts And then it's back to regular price on November 1st Just go to www.thenewexpat.com Click on Johnny's 2017 Seminar link at the top of the page for full details and sign up information And while you're there do check out those very special John Galt pre and post seminar tours Since after all when you're coming down to Guatemala to do the seminar You want to get as much quality boots on the ground time as possible

[26:40] And there's no better way than to take one of John Galt's pre or post seminar trips In fact some people take them both The pre trip being four days and three nights directly before the seminar And the post trip four days and three nights directly after And by the way for those of you who just can't swing coming down to the seminar Or or can't work it into your schedule get the time off whatever The next best thing to get that plan B started right from the comfort of your own home up in the states Is to check out my new expat essentials course Just go to www.expatplanb.com All one word and check out the three videos I've put together explaining the whole thing That's www.expatplanb.com

[27:25] And finally don't forget to check out my youtube channel YouTube slash the expat files do subscribe it's free This is the expat files living in Latin America If you want me to help you out with your own plan B Just schedule a one-on-one consult Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to learn how to move forward with your own plan B From right up there in the states go to www.expatplanb.com And check out my three videos see ya nos vemos