#558 – The Expat Files: Uruguay Citizenship, Legal Challenges, and Cultural Insights

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border, down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play and now as I wander Hello there all you expat wannabes I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here So let's get started a lot of people are thinking about a plan B in South America In fact, here's an email from one of my expat insiders seminar attendees asking this. He says hey, Johnny I have a friend who's interested in moving to South America

[00:45] He mentioned that he heard something about Uruguay giving almost instant citizenship to gringos who can prove they have around $500 or more in monthly income rolling in Sounds a little too good to be true for me, but I thought I'd run it by you I think I remember you had some issues with the economy and or government of Uruguay and don't recall you saying anything about fast Citizenship status. However, things are always changing Anyway, thanks again for all the help and keeping the Frederick Douglass underground Latin railroad open for slaves of all colors Signed D. Well D I'm glad your friend asked that question about the fast track to Uruguay citizenship Because that just reinforces the fact that there's a lot of bad information out there on the net proving again You have to get your boots on the ground You have to meet a real trusted Latin American lawyer

[01:32] Because you will need him or an expert facilitator to get your residency and eventual citizenship If that's what you're looking for and you should you know be voting with your feet sooner or later After all, that's why you're listening to this show the expat files living in Latin America It's certainly not for the jokes, right? So then let's talk about Uruguay and you're right things are always changing But here's how it stands right now first a big plus Married couples are at a great advantage when obtaining residency in Uruguay because after they get their permanent residency card They can become naturalized citizens with full passport privileges in as little as three years However, single people who have attained permanent residency must wait at least five years to apply for a passport So Uruguay is the only case I know of anyway where married couples get a two-year break now for the bad news

[02:23] Uruguay probably has the most strict physical presence test of all Latin American countries So what's that mean? Well gets what when you first apply for residency? You're expected to spend from six to ten months in the country the first year You cannot go out or they'll void your residency application And the same is true for the following five years on your way to getting citizenship That's for a single and three years for a married couple But the question is are you willing to do that? Do you have the flexibility to do that or the dough now? I mentioned dough because Uruguay is one of the most expensive countries in Latin America in many cases first world expensive So in regards to the fact that you have to stay in the country more than a half a year Just to keep that residency going that means any business or leisure trips outside the country have to be jammed

[03:12] Into a couple of months Uruguay immigration expects you to be physically present in a country for at least six months a year Until you apply for a passport or naturalization then of course you've got all the rights and privileges of any natural-born Uruguayan, but until then you're stuck in a pretty expensive country So the point is applying for Uruguay residency and then citizenship requires that you show proof to the immigration officials That you're not just popping in and out of Uruguay when you feel like it But that it's the center of your life and you're gonna have to document that in fact There have been cases where Uruguay judges and immigration officials have requested library cards receipts from doctors appointments proof of country club memberships church memberships, etc

[03:58] Providing necessary backup material and proof that you intend to live in the country on a permanent basis and have the connections to prove It so then unlike a lot of other Latin American countries Like for example Guatemala where you only have to spend one day a year in the country to maintain your temporary or permanent residency Which in five years or so will lead to a passport and naturalization Forget about doing that in Uruguay You're not gonna be able to fly in for a couple days meet your lawyer fill out some paperwork fly out again Then come back in some months to get your residency card. That's not gonna happen You're gonna have to pack your bags go down there and live for at least six months every year Think about this for a minute. Uruguay and lawyers will tell you if you're Chinese or Arabic forget about it You might be able to get temporary residency, but you'll never become a citizen

[04:46] However, a lot of people say that's a good thing Especially with what's going down in Europe right now. In fact last time I visited Uruguay I saw no Asians and no Middle Easterners sure there were a few Chinese restaurants But when you walked in you didn't see any Asians. They were run by Latins So naturally the Chinese food there pretty bad So you have to really keep up with immigration policies and whatever Latin American country You're planning on becoming a resident because you see many first-world people have been delayed in their citizenship process Even after investing a lot of time money and energy, which is why even if you're a hundred percent fluid in Spanish It's almost impossible to do it on your own You'll need your lawyer to walk you through it because he'll know if there has been any recent changes in the procedure And you know what sometimes that's not always true either

[05:32] Sometimes your lawyer will find out there's a new glitch in the system as he's processing someone's paperwork Hopefully it isn't yours. But from then on he'll know the problem is in Latin America Government lard heads will change policy willy-nilly and even your lawyer will only find out through the grapevine meaning no wide Dissemination of that information except within the immigration department So you go into a government office to do a routine paperwork step and you find out some other weird-ass measure has been added Bottom line, it's getting harder and harder to expatriate all the time Governments especially in this case Uruguay's government want to see that you're gonna make a permanent commitment to the country And they'll even check up on you now Of course your Latin lawyer and the people in his office will be able to grease the skids for you

[06:19] For instance in order to finally get your citizenship after temporary and permanent residency You're often required to buy real estate in Uruguay and you can't sell the property after you receive citizenship Don't ask me how they check up on that but apparently it's been done and for now anyway, your lawyer can juggle things around to make that happen or Make it appear to happen which again is why there are many Latin countries where it's so much easier to get your temporary and permanent residency and Why you really should get started right away You can see as new reports and stories keep coming in things are getting tighter and tighter However, there is some good news Latin lawyers have been telling me once you've got your permanent residency I'm referring to permanent residency in pretty much any Latin country

[07:06] You'll be operating under the rules that were in effect on the date you received your permanent residency in other words You'll be grandfathered in if they make any future changes and those changes by the way I almost always do the pressure from Uncle Sam and the US government, but you knew that already, right? So do get that plan B of yours in order right away and start that residency process You want to get in now under the rules as they are and not get Shafted along the way as you wait out that time period which is usually five years leading to your passport and citizenship Okay. Now, let's talk about that five years You have to wait as a permanent resident before you get your passport now It goes without saying you should be leading a nice calm Peaceful life in your new Latin country of choice because you know after you've waited out that five-year period

[07:55] You'll have to get another police report No, not from the US or whatever first-world country you're coming from but from your new Latin country where you have your permanent residency Because your new Latin countries immigration officials will assume you've been living there And thus have been a model citizen or not and that will show up on a police report. Maybe Actually, not likely So if you've been a bad boy or girl and let's say have a police record that says you've been cited for Trafficking in human organs or storing nuclear waste in your garage or perhaps you're performing brain surgery without a license Hey, who knows we all have our quirks, right? Well, then your application for passport and citizenship just might be rejected or not Because you know, this is Latin America the land of more Dita meaning bribes and lawyers who can make things disappear on occasion

[08:44] Hey, I'm not advocating anything illegal here. I'm just telling you what it's like to live here in Latin America I mean Hill that's the name of the show, right? Now some letter of the law Paranoid gringos with permanent residency have asked me what happens if I'm driving home from a party and just a little bit Tipsy and I get pulled over and get hit with a drunk driving charge Will that put the kibosh on me eventually getting my citizenship and passport? Well, the answer to that at least for now is No, the system is extremely lenient In fact only if you get in a car accident and actually kill somebody then you'd be in the soup at least for a while And even at that it would depend on the class and type of person you killed. Hey, wait a minute That sounds familiar, doesn't it? It's a classist society and we don't make the rules

[09:32] That's why down here when a middle or lower class guy steals a six pack of beer He ends up in jail for six months Meanwhile a politician down here steals six million and he sentenced to six months beach house arrest Hmm think I invented a new term there beach house arrest gotta remember that but I digress as usual Where were we? Oh, yeah The question was if you get a drunken driving charge will let defile your local in-country police report And therefore screw up your chances at citizenship and a passport Now latin lawyers will tell you and they drink pretty good themselves since driver's licenses are not on the point system down here A dui doesn't show up on your driving record In fact, nothing shows up on your driving record because you really don't have one It's your car that has a driving record not you meaning if you get a measly parking ticket or a moving violation

[10:21] It doesn't matter. It's your car that gets the ticket. I know that sounds weird and it's hard to explain But it's true You see the whole purpose of a driver's license down here in latin america is for the government to collect some money from you I mean, let's face it You don't even have to take an on the road test to get a license and people drive like absolute mental midget pinheads And the cops, you know with their eighth grade education now that could only mean two things high standards and professionalism at its finest So note down here driving offenses even moving violations do not count against you at all There just finds a way for the government to collect money. No reflection on you Oh, and by the way back to that residency thing regarding that people have asked me johnny If I have temporary residency and i'm biding my time. Do I need a police report to move on to permanent residency?

[11:07] Well, yes, it's pretty much the same thing. You'll get a police report in your chosen latin country So you won't have to deal with the cops or the sheriffs up in the states By the way, you won't have to fight your way through government lines to get that piece of paper Your lawyer's office will get it for you So in the end it's always better to skip temporary residency if you can and go straight to permanent residency Meaning you'll have to make some kind of physical investment in the country real estate a business or even a bank cd Will qualify by the way anywhere from 30 to 50 grand in a five-year cd at a local bank Will suffice for the income requirement in most latin countries And of course besides marrying a local the easiest way to get permanent residency Is to prove that you have a monthly income from an outside source of at least a thousand bucks a month

[11:57] Of course that varies a little bit from latin country to latin country But that's the average and that could be from social security a pension and annuity Rental income from properties outside that latin country a lot of different things Again, your latin lawyer will be able to advise you on all that stuff But back to urugway, so what do you need if you're applying for urugway residency whether temporary or permanent Well as of now you need a copy of your birth certificate certified by an urugwayan consulate up in the states And there's only a few of them so you'll have to check that out in the net If married you'll need a copy of your marriage certificate also certified by the urugwayan consulate You'll need a criminal record certificate from the fbi Which believe me is proving to be a big pain in the ass for people in more ways than one So you'll have to download forms from the fbi and give them the proper set of fingerprints

[12:46] And I hear the fbi rejects a lot of fingerprint submissions So that could take a couple months to get it, right? Now unlike some other latin countries urugway will not accept a sheriff's report from your local county Which by the way is infinitely easier So with your fbi report in hand, you'll have to have that certified at the urugwayan consulate in the states, too Now here's a weird glitch. You'll have to have a health examination performed in urugway Then you'll get a carnet de salud, which is a health card by the way, ladies You'll have to have a pap and a mammogram test. I know a lot of people don't like those mammogram tests Some studies in fact say they cause cancer, but we won't get into that right now But you'll have to break down and get one if you're going to apply for residency in urugway Then you'll have to open a bank account in urugway and get this the requirements for that include two reference letters from two different

[13:36] Financial institutions either inside urugway or foreign based which means you're going to need your lawyer to help you with that stuff And by the way, if you offer bank references from first world institutions You could say bye-bye to your privacy and anonymity Which is one of the many reasons expats are voting with their feet to get the hell out of the us So if one of your reasons for leaving is getting up from under the thumb of uncle sam why jump back on the radar again? However, latin lawyers can get around a lot of that stuff legally Of course at my upcoming july latin insider event taking place in and around guatemala Our seminar lawyer will be giving a presentation on all this stuff Anyway, so what else you need when applying for urugway in residency? You'll need a statement of monthly income

[14:22] Which is a statement of passive income or salary now the requirement used to be just 500 bucks a month But now it's grown and there's no real hard and fast rule. Everyone's judged differently again Your lawyer will work that out with you But as a guideline you should be thinking for a married couple 1500 bucks a month and the document you should present Will show the origin of the funds whether passive incomes dividends businesses owned paychecks pensions But you will need to have this stuff And it'll have to be notarized by your state's state department and then urugway an embassy near you And then after you've supplied all these documents You'll be given an appointment to come back at a later date around six months later to file some remaining documents Such as proof that you've been in the country during that six-month time proof of domicile. They call it

[15:13] That would be a rental contract and electric and water bills, etc So as you can see the urugway residency process leading to passport and citizenship Is a big pain in the ass Unless you pretty much plan on living there permanently And as you probably know, it is a tiny little country with a very small population in my opinion There's not a lot for gringos to do except in the high season if you're a sun and fun beach person They have all four seasons down there It's pretty far south and there is a very active sun and fun and beach life, but only a couple of months a year That's when the tourists start piling in from argentina and brazil But the rest of the time it's well for me anyway kind of boring So keep that in mind because you'll be stuck there at least six months a year

[15:58] Waiting that five years to get your passport and citizenship then there's no restrictions or time limits on being in the country Oh, and by the way, you probably know by now just like colorado Marijuana is legal in urugway. So for some of you listeners out there, maybe it won't be so boring after all That's it. Let me repeat almost no one gets residency in passport unless they own a house or a business That seems to be pretty much a hard and fast rule unless you're married to a local. Okay changing gears a little Regarding gringos getting bored and needing things to do to get stimulated I've mentioned in the past how famous music groups and not so famous has-beens now Do make their way through central and south america It seems that many dinosaur has-beens of rock Have found by hook and crook after a long period of decline up in the states

[16:47] They can get a leg up again a second wind down here in latin america at least the ones who are still marginally alive However, this time without the david leeroth stage antics and acrobatics So thanks to a 20 30 even 40 year lag time effect Many have discovered they have a huge gringo wannabe fan base here in latin america that they never even dreamed of It's true a few years ago They were nothing but old geezer has been lounge lizards playing the cleveland airport holiday in Or worse now suddenly they're back on the big tour circuit again this time in latin america Thankfully no longer in tight satin hip huggers, but gentle flowing paunch hiding corsets and robes So then for all us gringos and expats who are into nostalgia because some of these groups actually were very good

[17:32] Well, then how do you find out about these guys when they're coming through? Yes, gringos will be gringos and we occasionally crave our live first world entertainment Yes, even if those guys and gals we see on stage are mostly wigs botox highly iranic acid implants and titanium Hey, i'm a sucker for good classic rock and roll myself I love songs that have a beginning middle and end and actually tell a story And you know, I miss real musical construction like that so much that I feel sorry for everyone under 30 Just look at the crappy soundtrack. They had to their lives compared to the soundtrack their parents grew up listening to So believe it or not down here in latin america the gringo wannabes have it right musically Anyway, now, of course, there are the sappy crappy bands like lion el ritchie michael bolton and kenny g too

[18:22] Along with some of the real greats So again, the question is how do you find out when these first world bands and theatrical presentations are coming through? Now the first maybe five or ten years I was down here in latin america When the first of these old nostalgic rockers were coming through like jethro tall the moody blues or even yes Most gringos who would really appreciate that kind of stuff didn't even know about it Till a couple of days after the show was over remember there was no internet back then and most gringos had very crappy spanish So they didn't read the papers But that was 10 or 15 years ago Now hooray hooray lag time is kicked in and latins have their own version of ticket tron It's been around three or four years now and it's called todo ticket. That's to do ticket dot com They've got agencies and outlets in many latin countries now

[19:10] So you can go right online and see the theaters and auditorium seating arrangements But best of all you get to see who's coming sometimes months in advance so you can plan For example, if someone's coming through town that you really like let's say jeff back. Yes He's come through all right and you want seats right in front Possibly in the first 10 rows seats like you'd never be able to get up in the states at a concert like that Well down here you can get fantastic seats with regularity Why because latin's are on manana time and they'll wait till the last minute to buy theirs Do keep that in mind. So then let's look up todo ticket punto com. That's todo ticket.com right now How about for nicaragua or el salvador? Okay, so i'm on their site and I see a lot of events most of them spanish singers and crooners and bands is that you and I could give a

[19:59] Mirda about and then there's a few talentless latin deejays coming to town And some vomitus international white boy deejays too coming from europe. Here's one he's called d-a-n-n-i-c Dannick white boy scandinavian says here he's rated number 25 Top vomitus deejay in the world since wendy paid 25 or even 50 bucks to see someone who can't sing or even play an instrument Oh well, but I digress anyway mixed in with all that talentless flatulence on todo ticket.com There are some recognizable acts and theater presentations here We've got the vagina monologues in spanish, of course talk about serious lag time Come on. When was the vagina monologues all the rage up in the states 30 years ago now, maybe

[20:46] Well, it's been rocking and rolling through latin america in the past probably three or four years to great acclaim And why not half the world has them and the other half are pretty much obsessed by them Let's see what else we have in the way of first world events and concerts coming on through Let's say we have the broadway musical god spell in spanish Of course now that goes back to the 60s, right though I believe a few years back there was a revival on broadway, but we're talking about heavy lag time there, too Though can't you see the pattern here a successful run on the states. It dies a slow death Someone picks it up converts it into spanish and a whole new lease on life. Oh, and then we have the moscow ballet coming through Hope they pass around the razors this time then we have the big spanish production of hamlet

[21:35] Yeah, i'm sure willy shakespeare's english translates really well into spanish. Hmm. Oh, here we go It looks like rock and roll hall of famers heart are coming down Yes, it looks like the american diet has done a number on those chicks Maybe they ought to change barracuda to bara buddha. Ooh Oh, and how about this last but not least those sappy long in the tooth ancient senior prom saccharine kings air supply Come to think of it I'd almost rather take a fatal dose of kenny rogers or leo sare over air supply Now they're playing big rooms and for big money, too The vip seats are going to get this a hundred bucks a piece now understand It's not going to be intelligent gringles who are going to pay a hundred bucks to see those washouts It'll be the gringo wannabes who are out in force. Oh, and by the way, here's a related story for you

[22:25] About five or six years ago. I got a phone call from a latin concert promoter He told me that the band america was coming through and some of their band equipment had got stolen on the road They were in a pinch and they wanted to rent some vintage equipment and they knew I had some And he asked me specifically if he could rent my fender super reverb amplifier As it turns out that's exactly what one of the guys in america used for his stage equipment now in latin america There's no vintage musical instrument market like there is up in the states So there was no way this guy was going to go to a music store and rent one or buy one I said, okay two nights a hundred bucks a night Plus two seats in the orchestra for one of the concerts Okay, like I said, that was five or six years ago Now flashback to around three years ago same latin concert promoter calls me up

[23:11] He said johnny you still got that 1965 fender super reverb I said yeah, and he said well i'd like to rent it again I said why you have america on tour again. No air supply and I said how many nights he said two nights I said, okay 200 bucks a night then he said but johnny last time you rented it out for a hundred a night I said yeah, but I kind of like america and I absolutely can't stomach air supply Then he said a hundred bucks a night and i'll throw in two orchestra seats Then I said, you know, if I actually have to go there and watch him, that'll really piss me off Then i'll have to charge you 300 a night. So then did we do the deal? Well, that's a story for another time Oh, and while i'm on the subject of todo ticket punto com one of the posted events features a classical quartet from argentina

[24:04] And when you hear what their repertoire is you'll see just how much latin's are obsessed with everything first world european and gringo Now listen to this. It says the quartet will interpret. This is the repertory now the beatles rubber soul featuring ellen orrigby queens bohemian rhapsody And I don't want to miss a thing by arrow smith and finally Nothing else matters by get this Metallica we're talking about a classical string quartet two violins viola and cello now you might say What the f*** is going on? Who's even gonna pay to go to a concert like that? Well, i'll tell you it's that two to five percent of wealthy and upscale latins who send their kids to helicopter schools

[24:51] Where a third to a half of the teachers and professors are gringos from the states who still put an emphasis on culture and the classics Well, kind of though you could argue that arrow smith and metallica fall way outside that paradigm In this case the culture and the classics have to do with the fact that we're talking about orchestral string instruments So what's not to like about that? They're good enough musically and have a good enough marketing machine to be able to tour in big venues through latin america So maybe it's worth checking out but do check your smartphone at the door Oh, and I did mention a number of times that upscale latins are nuts about the beatles You might remember the example of guadamala city a town of two million people way off the gringo tourist trail And they've got no less than nine beatles cover bands and musically most of them are excellent

[25:40] However, I can almost picture john lennon walking in hearing strawberry fields with a spanish accent and punching the guy in the face That said all you self-professed rock and roll trivia experts Have I got some trivia for you and i'll tell you if you get this one, right? You deserve your own rock and roll reality show Now let me set this up You all know that lennon and mccarty were the best songwriting team that ever came out of the rock and roll era And they recorded about one album a year each one with around 12 songs on it And they'd give one to ringo and harrison had a song that left 10 So lennon and mccarty could only put 10 songs a year on their albums However, they wrote songs like maniacs sometimes over 50 songs a year as a result They gave a lot of those songs away

[26:25] For example to billy j. Kramer mary hopkins sassilla black peter and gordon jerry and the pacepakers and bat finger Now get this they loved mo town and rnb and they tried to give away some of their songs to mo town folks But guess what? They were considered too white bread and often rejected. Okay. Here's the question McCartney wrote a song for aritha franklin. She recorded it and didn't like it much. Guess what that song was Time's up. Would you believe? Let it be So the queen of soul rejected it instead the beetles did it and made it one of the 10 top selling records of all time Oops getting to the end now. Don't forget. I've got my july 2016 latin american insider seminar coming up

[27:10] It's a great way. They get a real head start on your plan B Do go to www dot the new expat dot com and click on johnny's 2016 seminar link and do check out John gault's pre and post seminar trips, too They are optional, but you won't want to miss them. Oh and do check out my expat files youtube channel. Do subscribe. It's free south of the border You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america coming to you twice a week from somewhere south of the border Email me the expat files at gmail.com And if you want me to help you sort out your own latin american plans schedule a one-on-one Console with me just send an email and let me know at the expat files at gmail.com. No swaymos