#511 – The Expat Files: Mail Forwarding, Anonymity, Fuel Prices, and Seminars in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Here's a great question that comes up all the time. This one's from Mark from Pasadena. He says hello, Johnny What if one move to Latin America without knowing what his new address will be because he hadn't rancid a place yet And maybe is just exploring around

[00:46] Where would he tell the US post office to forward his mail? Well, you know mark a lot of people before they even get down to Latin America Try to think that problem through let's say I'll land in Costa Rica Then I'll go to a local government post office branch and get a PO box usually cost around 25 to 50 bucks a year By the way, when you do that It's just like going to a Kinko's or a mailbox Etcetera in the states where you have your own box and a key when by the way mailbox Etcetera has hit a few big Latin American cities too though They seem to be much higher price than some of the local outfits now I've also noticed that UPS and a few other international courier services have PO box accounts too where you get your key and a little box Just check out your perspective country of choice on the internet and see what's available though

[01:33] If you're off the gringo tourist trail will probably be in Spanish that said there's no shortage of private PO boxes for rent down here However, if you choose a first world franchise other than one of the local PO box companies down here You're gonna pay a lot more so be prepared So what's the difference between a private PO box service and the government general mail PO box services? Well with government PO boxes, you'll find those places kind of scruffy and dirty. Why not? It's par for the course What do you expect lazy ass government slugs are running the place and that's the kind of service you'll get too So you can go the PO box route But for my money the best way to handle that kind of thing is to have your local lawyer Act as your personal PO box or mail forwarding service And if you remember like I said many times before as soon as you get down here to Latin America

[02:23] The first thing you have to do is look for a lawyer You're gonna need one for various things like opening a bank account getting permanent and temporary residency Starting a brick-and-mortar business signing on to an internet service or an insurance plan buying a car renting an apartment creating an essay Corporation all kinds of things So when you've selected your lawyer one of your first requests should be that he accepts your mail and you know what? He'll be glad to do it So you can have people up in the states or anywhere in the world that for that matter Send letters or whatever to you put your name on the envelope or the box in care of your lawyer and your lawyer's address Or better yet have it posted to your name and your lawyer's address. Don't even have to put your lawyer's name on it That's just one of those little extra convenient services Latin lawyers provide and guess what?

[03:10] I've never met a Latin lawyer yet who charges you for that service At least not when you're off the gringo tourist trail After all you're gonna use them for a lot of other things So they're doing it as a convenience and a courtesy to you And in the end if you're gonna explore a lot and don't know exactly what country or city you're gonna be in You're much better off using your lawyer as your mail drop service Instead of a traditional p.o box service where you'll have to actually stop in once in a while to physically sign in and pick up your mail Because if you use your lawyer just one phone call to his office and you can have your mail forward it anywhere They'll even wrap it up and send it by registered mail if you like And of course in the end It's always best to keep a low profile and one great way to do that is to use your lawyer as your mail drop All the time even if you live nearby

[03:58] Don't give out your address not your real address Anyway, unless you absolutely have to and of course, sometimes you have to for example If you're getting furniture appliance delivery cable tv or internet service installed But even so you don't have to use your real name pick a nice pseudonym and use it often or Do as many gringos do they use their mother's maiden name as their last name from the get-go When they first get down here for some it's much less uncomfortable than just picking a new name out of a hat But still many times it's best to just use your lawyer's name Another special little service that latin lawyers will perform if you're their client In fact just the other day. I got an email from my next pat friend in honduras He's been down in central america three or four years now i'll paraphrase this a bit

[04:46] He went on to say i've been listening to your show from the very beginning about five years or so now And you know what I listened a lot, but I guess I didn't listen well enough I processed what you said, but I did not follow some of your more important advice I guess I just didn't think it applied to me, but boy did it and when I landed down in central america permanently I gave my address and name out quite freely like it did when I was living up in canada And now i'm paying the price for it turns out My brother up in canada is getting sued and at one time I was part of his company though I'm not now, but it doesn't matter up in canada They've tracked me down and are now sending me letters saying that i've been named in some of the same lawsuits You know the shotgun approach So now i'm supposed to appear in court in canada

[05:32] And i'm really torn because if I go up there they could block my passport then i'll never get back Now my lawyer down here in honduras says if I had been off the radar enough and they couldn't have actually served me papers In other words couldn't find me or my address to get someone to sign for those papers The case against me valid or not could never go forward Then he said I could just sit out the statute of limitations down here And the case would just fade away and in thinking long and hard about this I realized now if I would have used my honduran lawyer for my mailing address Or had done it all through an essay corporation using my lawyer as the signatory Had my lawyer sign my rental contract my internet contract and my utilities contracts, etc, etc There would be no way for anyone up in canada to ever track me down enough to get a letter to me

[06:22] Much less put any legal pressure on me at all But now it's too late. The letters are coming directly to me and besides he said my wife Foolishly enough has been all over facebook and twitter the past couple years and she's got dozens If not hundreds of photos of my house my backyard parties Guests who have visited me and well, you know all the other mindless crap you put on facebook So in the end he said just because he wasn't paying attention He killed any real anonymity He could have had if he'd have planned a little bit from the start So bottom line when you do become an expat down in latin america You get something that almost no first world person ever gets a second chance to grab some real anonymity If you plan it right, you can have a very small footprint and remain nearly anonymous though

[07:08] No one can be completely anonymous not these days anyway But your new latin lawyer can become a fantastic buffer for whatever you plan on doing You must keep that in mind and act on it from the very beginning However, if you're just coming down as a retired guy or gal collecting social security or a pension Maybe you don't care about all that But if your life's in any way more complicated You'd be nuts not to try to recapture some of that anonymity that you lost up in the first world Oh, and by the way, if you're bringing your wife or significant other and some kids down They all have to be on board with that too In fact as one long-term expat told me recently he said latin america is one of the only places left in the world Where you can ditch your old baggage and recreate a whole new version of yourself and live happily ever after

[07:55] But as he said to pull that off you have to line all your ducks up right from the beginning Take for example expat eddie or my friend expat joe Who's had let's see now two bankruptcies up in the states three divorces loan sharks still looking for him back in nevada Well, he's a super upstanding expat gringo citizen in panama Has a beautiful fishing troller and owns a couple of convenience stores and those past life stories only slip out when he said Way too much to drink Okay, that said here's something else. I get a lot of questions on What are gas and diesel prices like down here in latin america now that oil is hovering around 50 bucks a barrel Okay So right now up in the states the average regular gasoline price is around 230 a gallon and diesel about 250 a gallon

[08:44] That said let's talk about central america first Well as it turns out panama has the cheapest regular gas right now at about 250 a gallon then comes el solverter at 260 guatemala 262 a gallon close enough to u.s Prices to not make that much of a difference but for these next few countries prices really escalate for nicaraguettes 322 a gallon honduras 326 a gallon and costarica with the most expensive gas prices of all 378 a gallon and that's of course because honduras nicaragua and costarica have very very high gas taxes Oh, and by the way, just like up in the first world when you have a discussion with a government person and about the high taxes on fuel

[09:30] Well, then they'll say but those gas taxes are plowed right back into infrastructure, you know, fixing the roads, etc Well, that's a pile of horse feces They want to make you think that but no government plows that money back into the infrastructure It goes right into that big general trough For those corrupt lard ass government politicians to dip their snouts into but I digress as usual anyway The odd thing about fuel prices in latin america is that diesel is always much cheaper than regular gas As opposed to up in the first world where it's just the opposite For example in panama diesel is about 20 cents cheaper than regular in salvador It's about 15 cents a gallon cheaper in guatemala about 30 cents cheaper honduras 40 cents a gallon less

[10:16] Nicaragua diesel is about 30 cents cheaper and in costa rica a whopping 60 cents less than regular gas So why then are gas and diesel prices top seed turvy as compared to the us? Well consider this did you know? It's a lot cheaper to refine a gallon of diesel than it is gasoline Which logically means diesel should always be cheaper than regular gas But it's not not up in the first world because again, it's all about the taxes and market manipulation It's proof that if you tell a lie long enough people believe it Oh, and by the way as far as gas and diesel prices in mexico Well, if you're at the texas border, they're about the same But since mexico is a huge corrupt country and they produce vast quantities of gasoline oil and natural gas too They've got many black markets in fuel going on especially out in the boonies

[11:05] So gas and diesel prices can be all over the place People just have no idea how much tax they pay when they buy a gallon of gas or diesel For example today up in the states you can get a gallon of regular gas for around 250, right? Well, do you know what the real price is if you bought it stripped of federal state and local taxes? Try about a buck 40 a gallon. That means you're paying about a dollar 10 in taxes So about 44 percent of every dollar you spend on gas in the states is being tossed into the federal crapper And in costa rica, it's even worse 63 cents of every dollar you spend on gas goes into their federal crapper Which is why like I said before if you drive into the interior of mexico a very big country

[11:51] You can find gasoline prices all over the place often much cheaper than what you'll find near the us border Why because in mexico the black market is alive and well In fact, sometimes it's bigger than the real market oftentimes The black market is the real market because it reflects real prices without added taxes So if you're not paying taxes on gas anything you make over a dollar 40 a gallon Which is the spot price in tankers on the open sea is pure profit Now that's not to say in the interior of mexico You're going to get gas for a buck 60 or 70 or 80 a gallon Nope, but you'll rarely pay a buck 50 a gallon either like it is at the texas border It might only be 10 or 20 cents cheaper, but that's what the market will bear In fact when you're driving around in the boonies of guatemala, which is a country directly south of mexico

[12:39] You'll see people selling pirated gas all up and down the pan american highway if you can believe it In fact, I got a picture that I show at my expat insider seminar where guatemalan national cops Have pulled over to one of these stands not to arrest these guys for selling pirated gas But to buy a few gallons because remember like I said in many latin american countries A cop patrol car is only issued about two to five gallons of gas a day Which is why i've been hit up quite a few times by cops Nope, not for donut money, but for gas money. In fact about a year and a half ago I was about a mile away from the mexican border I was on the guatemalan side and I was driving a rental car and I pulled over at one of these pirated gas stations And I bought about 10 gallons for about 50 cents less per gallon than at the normal pump

[13:29] Now some people advise never to buy it from those pirated stations because they say well look maybe it's not pure Maybe they're blending that gas with something else. It just might screw up your engine However, there's no proof of that and I can't think of anything cheaper They could be blending it with because well water and gas don't mix that's for sure But as my passenger at the time expat eddie said johnny, this is a rental car Why all the thoughtful analysis just buy the stuff and let's get out of here Nope, I wouldn't recommend it for my own car. But when you're renting a car, well, it's the cost of doing business I mean, come on when you were in high school and you borrowed your dad's car Did you put in premium gas or the cheapest motion lotion in town? That's a chicagoism by the way Now note at those pirated stations. You're not getting it from a pump

[14:17] They're just little roadside kiosks with a couple dozen five gallon and one gallon jerry cans Which is by the way why the germans in world war one and two were called jerrys Did you know that? Anyway, while we were standing there on the side of the road making our purchase a cop car whizzed by Which gave eddie and I a little feeling of paranoia because who knows? They would be as cops completely within their right to arrest us for buying pirated gas Or at least confiscate the gas or hit us up for a bribe, but they didn't they never stopped They didn't even slow down which prompted expat eddie to say to the pirated gas seller You don't seem to be too worried about the cops that whizz by here and on again I mean look we're on the busiest road in all of latin america the pan american highway

[15:04] Don't the cops hassle you and the guys said nope when they do stop by it's usually because they're out of gas Themselves and we'll give them a couple of free gallons if they're short or they get a little ornery So that's what it's like down here in latin america and even though all the first world laws exist They're all on the books here Don't ever think for a second that law enforcement is as cut as dried as it is up in the first world When cop cars down here operate on two to five gallons of gas a day. You got to know you're not in kansas anymore Okay, now switching gears a bit Here's something that's going to make a ton of money for just one guy the guy that's putting on this seminar Remember how I mentioned that lag time effect and how people come down here and put on seminars and clean up Simply because latins have never been exposed to that first world material before even though it's passé

[15:53] And long been flogged like a dead horse in the states And you know you see these ads in the big latin newspapers all the time like for example this one that i'm just looking at today It says come to a seminar to learn how to write publish and promote your own book Given by a guy who says he's written 43 books So you'll never be able to prove that his name is guillermo zu nega diegas And for the simple price of a hundred dollars in advance and 125 bucks at the door You can watch as this guy suckers in his latin american rubes Because you know, it's well known down here that practically no one ever makes even a middle class living from writing books Writers either have a day job or live with mommy and daddy. Why is that? Well, that's because 99.9 percent of latins never read books for pleasure And the five or maybe ten percent of people who can afford to buy a book now and then

[16:42] Would rather be seen tweeting at starbucks or posting a moronic selfie on facebook So it seems odd that a seminar on how to write a book and promote it etc would be a big hit down here Well, that's because of that old cliche that everyone's got at least one book in him Even though oddly enough most of the people who believe that cliche don't read books themselves So there really is a sucker born every minute In fact, there's a sucker born every second here in latin america and it says here you can catch this excellent Exciting seminar as this guy passes through el solvador honduras nicaragua panama and costa rica But that's not all on the opposing page in this big sunday newspaper There's a course given by another scheming scumbag. It's called and remember this is all in spanish, of course

[17:28] Making money on wall street and the stock market made easy And I don't even want to go down the list of the things he promises in this one day seminar Except to say there's one guy who's gonna make a hell of a lot of money preaching tired worn out ancient useless even fraudulent information That's this guy named jose espania. Oh and by the way at the bottom There's an asterisk that says come to this seminar and discover the secrets of what the best investors in the world know And it's not important if you know, absolutely nothing about the economy or finances Man, this guy qualifies for ovom its cabinet What a con man and on page 17 of this newspaper We've got another seminar scheme this time one i've never seen before down here

[18:16] Yep, those ridiculous business coaching seminars have arrived now get the title of this seminar clientology, you know like a play on Scientology yeah, right like that doesn't get a hearty laugh these days anything that's connected to Scientology give me a break But maybe it doesn't matter because people down here don't know what Scientology is anyway Which is certainly a good thing now This is the first time i've ever seen a business coaching seminar given down here in latin america and the real Ridiculous part of this whole thing is that the two principal speakers at this event probably hail from two latin countries that are in An absolute tailspin argentina and brazil two complete economic basket cases Yeah, they might as well bring along a venezuelan business coach, too

[19:04] So what tips do they have to teach other latin country businessmen how to be like brazil and argentina nice try So that just means this seminar business is a wide open field There's big money to be made by the principles and it doesn't matter what you're trying to sell or promote If it's touted as coming from the first world, it can't help but make it and the cost of this four hour course Yep, it's an intensive business coaching course in four hours Oh, and by the way, it says here when you're done with that four hours You'll be certified as a business coach, too And you'll get a nice diploma to prove it gotta have that diploma. This is latin america cost 75 bucks and this will blow your mind guess who's sponsoring the show Everyone's favorite cancerous too big to fail institution city bank

[19:53] Now if you recall from a recent past show city banks pulling out of latin america because well They've been robbed blind by latin managers. They've instilled in high level positions in city banks down here man You just can't make this stuff up. Okay now an email Hi, johnny I lived in mexico for a couple of years as a clueless gringo mormon missionary over 10 years ago now And for some reason I get a real kick out of hearing your occasional comments Not on just mormons but all the do-gooder types residing in latin america the u.n workers peace corps Non-profits, etc I guarantee that a portion of your audience are former mormon missionaries who fell in love with latin america during their time there And are now either daydreaming about returning or actively trying to figure out a way to go back and live as a normal person

[20:43] Now johnny, I haven't heard you talk about it because i'm a new listener But I just know you've got to have a lot of stories about run-ins with mormons and other types of missionaries I'm just guessing this based on your 25 plus years down there combined with your feelings on religion Two gooders and clueless gringos in general Not to mention the fact that they stick out like a sore thumbs in their white shirts and name tags Especially when one or both of them are gringos Not that you would anyway, but don't worry about us taking offense Any group then can be a good sport about a wildly successful broadway play that makes total fun Of its religion is a safe audience. I don't think you could say the same for muslims jews, etc Anyway, just saying thanks again. Johnny. Keep it up signed storming. Norman the ex do-gooder mormon

[21:33] Though still trying to do some good here and there Yeah norm I have to admit I have a few mormon stories packed away In fact at my very first latin insider seminar about five years ago now I had exactly one of those types you're talking about a recently defrocked mormon or I should say Liberated mormon. I don't know if they've defrocked mormons. Do they anyway? He told me and the other seminar attendees that he was a mormon down here some years back Not doing the usual do-gooder things like building out houses for jesus, but he was sent down Specifically to recruit young latin adults for the mormon cause whatever that is And now he was back some years later looking for opportunities business opportunities So anyway, the seminar went as planned and on the very last night

[22:19] We usually have what we call our last supper a get-together We all tell our stories and our future plans and what we've learned etc Anyway, our ex mormon missionaries showed up there with not one But two latin ladies on his arm a highly unusual occurrence since no one else at the seminar Had used their time down here as a potential mating and dating opportunity So anyway, we're all kind of surprised to see these two young ladies sitting at the table next to our ex mormon friend Now since we were well off the gringo tourist trail These ladies spoke no english though. Our ex missionary friend spoke rusty spanish Then after the seminar after everyone went home, I found out he didn't Instead get this he ended up renting a spare room in the house where those two ladies lived

[23:06] I know what you're thinking. He knew his spanish. So he was a fast worker, right? Well, maybe but let's not jump to conclusions But I know this within two weeks he decided to open up his own american style bakery with the two of them working for him So did it get off the ground and become a success? Well, I don't know I haven't seen him since then But last I heard he bought and ordered all the necessary equipment and got the thing started Oh, and by the way those two ladies mother and daughter Oh, and yes, I do have other mormon and fallen mormon stories, too In fact about a year and a half ago. I was in a town in northern guadamala way up in the altiplano called chella Xe la and miracle of miracles. I was walking down the street in this town of maybe a hundred thousand And I saw what you almost never see in latin america an indian restaurant. Yep an authentic indian restaurant

[23:58] smack dab in the middle of mayan country go figure, huh And oddly enough the place was owned by real indians from india with all the decorum elephant statues and six armed goddesses and such Anyway, about three quarters of the way through the meal The power went out the whole place was dead black Meanwhile nature called so I took the candle off the table and walked over to the bathroom knocked on the door was occupied Three minutes five minutes seven even ten minutes went by still occupied. I knocked on the door Not a sound so I called over a waiter and he knocked a bit no answer went and got the passkey He opened the door and we found a tall blonde mormon guy passed out on the toilet pants down Suspenders knotted up in a little ball and then the indian waiter turned towards another indian guy in the kitchen and said

[24:46] Can you help please? It's mr. Larry again So obviously mr Larry the mormon passes out in the bathroom every once in a while and the staff at the indian restaurant weren't so surprised Which brought up two questions in my mind. Number one I didn't know mormons got soused in public And two didn't know they had a thing for indian food Then a while later back at my table the indian waiter came over gave me a free piece of cake with a candle in it Apologized and said our food is nice Mr. Larry too much rum too much rum Oh, and by the way, speaking of too much rum that said, you know Thanksgiving's coming and whether you believe in the holiday or not or it's just a reason to have another party Even down here off the gringo tourist trail

[25:32] You'll always be able to find a full-blown thanksgiving dinner at a gringo bar or a big hotel complete with tortillas and frijoles Just kidding not about the big dinner though Some expats even long-time expats get homesick for that kind of thing Well, just know that turkeys actually come from latin america central america specifically In fact when you're out in the boonies and the hinterlands, sometimes you see them out in the wild In fact peacocks are native to central america, too I've seen a few wild ones myself down here. Peacocks are called Pavo riala which believe it or not translates exactly to royal turkey So the word for peacock in spanish is royal turkey man I can think of an occupant in the white house who fits that moniker exactly

[26:17] So anyway as with all the big first world american fiestas thanksgiving new year's christmas easter You'll always find some restaurant hotel or gringo bar in your area. That's putting on a big spread Trying to duplicate that all-american experience that we know just doesn't exist anymore Unfortunately for so many of us long-term expats when those holidays come up, they're just little reminders shadows Really what life used to be like back in the days when we lived in the us when it was a different country altogether Oh and we're at the end of the show now. So let me remind you once again that I have my january 2016 latin american insider seminar coming up six days six nights boots on the ground every afternoon and evening

[27:03] We're about three quarters filled now. So just go to Www. The new expat.com click on johnny's 2016 seminar link for full details and sign-up information Don't forget to go to www the new expat.com For great expat blogs and info and do check out our one-of-a-kind latin legal blog Written by and off the tourist trail latin lawyer with many expat gringo clients have a legal question yourself shoot them an email You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america coming to you twice a week from somewhere south of the border Email me the expat files at gmail.com And if you want me to help you sort out your own latin american plans schedule a one-on-one consult with me

[27:52] Just send an email and let me know at the expat files at gmail.com nos vemos