Episode Summary
In this episode of The Expat Files, Johnny Mueller dives into the practical aspects of banking and cash usage in Latin America. He addresses a listener's question about using cash and banking in the region, explaining that while cash is still widely used, banks have restrictions due to anti-money laundering laws. He outlines the process of converting U.S. dollars to local currency through a bank account, noting that it requires a local account. Johnny also discusses ATM usage, highlighting the fees involved and suggesting that using a credit card with fee reimbursement benefits is better. He concludes with advice on carrying cash securely, emphasizing the need for pristine bills and proper storage in a durable belt.
In the next segment, Johnny acknowledges the controversy around animal products but argues that leather zipper belts are superior to alternatives like nylon and plastic. He recommends purchasing high-quality belts from Panachell, Guatemala, and explains how to use them as a secure money stash. He also provides a step-by-step guide on how to fold and flatten U.S. dollar bills to fit into a zipper belt, noting that while this method is effective, the bills may become difficult to use later due to being pressed flat. Johnny warns about the risks of exchanging money at airports and other money-changing booths, which often charge high fees. He suggests carrying a reserve of U.S. dollars in a money belt and keeping additional cash in a passport-sized pouch for emergencies.
The podcast segment then shifts to safety tips for expats in Latin America, particularly focusing on how thieves typically target tourists. Johnny explains that while male thieves may conduct a pat-down, female tourists are more likely to be robbed of items like purses, backpacks, and phones. He also highlights that US dollars, especially $20 bills, are often accepted in local stores, though at a discounted rate depending on the location. The segment then includes an email from Bob, an older expat looking for a place to retire with a dog, and Johnny advises him to seek a personal consultation for tailored advice. Finally, the segment includes a humorous email from Whitney, who claims to be from Cleveland, Canada, with a photo of a shipping container used as a café, which Johnny finds amusing and notes the possibility of a town named Cleveland in Guatemala.
In the next segment, Johnny discusses the concept of using shipping containers for construction, particularly in Latin America. He shares an example of a modern home built from two shipping containers and mentions a brainstorming session at one of his expat wisdom seminars where attendees proposed building a hotel on the side of a mountain using shipping containers. Johnny highlights the affordability of used shipping containers and the potential for creative construction projects. He also mentions that while the idea has been discussed, it has not yet been realized, and he encourages people with such ideas to attend his seminars for networking and inspiration. The segment also includes a humorous anecdote about an email asking for photos of expat Eddie's wife, which Johnny addresses by clarifying that she is not yet his wife and that their wedding is planned in San Salvador.
In the final segment, Johnny discusses the cultural tendency of Latin people to forgive quickly, even in the face of serious issues. He shares a story about a wealthy Latin friend who had a past relationship with a lower-class woman who later approached him with their child. Despite the shock and conflict, the situation was resolved quickly, and his family was supportive of the new child, showing the forgiving nature of Latin culture.
Topics
Banking in Latin America, Using cash in Latin America, ATM usage and fees, Secure storage of cash, Travel security, Money storage, Leather products, Money-changing booths, Emergency preparedness, Safety tips for expats in Latin America, Retirement relocation advice, Shipping container business ideas
Chapters
00:00:00 Opening 00:00:14 Introduction to the Podcast and Its Purpose 00:00:26 Overview of the Podcast's Content and Structure 00:00:32 Introduction to the Email from a Listener 00:01:06 Discussion on the Use of Cash in Latin America 00:01:31 Explanation of Banking and Currency Conversion 00:03:02 Discussion on ATM Usage and Fees 00:04:43 Advice on Carrying and Storing Cash Securely 00:05:42 Introduction to the topic of money belts and leather products 00:05:45 Why leather zipper belts are better than alternatives 00:05:51 Recommendation for purchasing high-quality zipper belts 00:06:14 Johnny's personal use of zipper belts for security 00:06:31 How to use a zipper belt as a secure money stash 00:06:43 Step-by-step guide on folding and flattening bills for a zipper belt 00:07:34 Potential issues with using pressed bills and the need for caution 00:08:12 Warning about the risks of money-changing booths and airports 00:10:23 Thieves Targeting Tourists in Latin America 00:11:13 Accepting US Dollars in Local Stores 00:12:40 Personal Consultation for Relocation Advice 00:14:31 Humorous Email About Cleveland, Canada 00:14:36 The Shipping Container Idea and Its Inspiration from Seminars 00:14:56 Brainstorming and Creative Ideas at Expat Wisdom Seminars 00:15:48 Cost of Shipping Containers and Construction Ideas 00:16:32 The Mountain-Side Hotel Idea and Its Potential Realization 00:17:37 Humorous Email About Expat Eddie's Wife 00:18:24 Forgiveness in Romantic Relationships 00:18:43 A Story of a Wealthy Latin Friend 00:21:47 Family Reactions to the New Child 00:21:52 A New Addition to the Family 00:22:07 The Importance of Family in Latin America 00:22:45 Poverty and Family Structure in the U.S. 00:24:19 The Modeling Industry in Central America 00:25:16 The Surprising Truth About Latin American Models in the U.S. Industry 00:25:38 The Inferiority Complex of Latin American Models 00:26:36 The Role of Luck and Opportunity in Success
Transcript
Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.
[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Okay, let's get to our backlog of cool emails now first We have an email from someone who calls himself someone s u m w n. I like that Says dear Johnny faithful listener here
[00:46] But really I'm totally ignorant on how to operate with money down in South and Central America. That's cash money Should one carry cash what popular u.s. Banks have ATMs there. Thanks for the great info Some one he spells it the Chinese way like some gum and one ton. That's s u m w o n So anyway, that might sound like a simple question, but things do change especially here in Latin America now It's not necessarily getting more difficult to use cash. People love cash down here. That's a big change, huh? But banks have a limit on the amount of cash though except due to the first world so-called money laundering laws and that fat Crap all that first world stuff spent shoved down Latin bankers throats, too
[01:31] Anyway, Latin American banks will change US dollars into local funny money for you That is if you've got an account with that bank now that really presents a problem for so many gringos who don't have bank Accounts in Latin countries now there are some US branch banks down here Especially on the gringo tourist rail there are even a few big disgusting ones like Citibank and Scotia Bank in many Latin countries Even in the small towns So if you have an account in one of those banks up in the states or Canada Surely you'll walk in and show them your ID card and give them your bank account number and you'll be able to change money easily Now here's what a lot of longtime expats do they take let's say eight hundred dollars US cash They go to their local Latin bank They deposit it in the account using a deposit slip then they write out a withdrawal slip right after that while still standing at the window
[02:20] Or you can do it in a drive-through bank, too Then at that moment or slightly after you withdraw that 800 US dollars in the local funny money I know it's stupid and involves extra work, but that's the way it's done down here The fact is you can't just go up to a bank window hand them five hundred or eight hundred bucks and say Give me this in the local funny money doesn't work that way It used to be that easy before fat cup But now you have to have your own account to do that again You go into the bank you deposit your dollars in your local funny money account Then you get a withdrawal slip and withdraw the local funny money you do all that while you're standing there Yes, it takes some time, but it gets done and remember your bank accounts in both dollars and local funny money anyway As far as ATM machines, they're everywhere down here
[03:05] But you'll rarely find one with an American Bank's name on it or an American Bank logo Though you will see ATM machines with all kinds of Latin bank names on them that said for us It doesn't matter any ATM machine will accept your credit card and all it will let you withdraw the local currency usually around two To three hundred dollars worth a day and many will allow you to take Dollars out to to the tune of about two to three hundred bucks a day now Usually when you go to one of these ATM machines and you stick your card in there It'll ask you if you want it in English or Spanish. Yes, many ATMs are now a hundred percent bilingual then for example If you're gonna pull out two hundred dollars in the local funny money as you go through the process a question will Inevitably pop up on the screen that says press
[03:50] Yes If you agreed to a one or two dollar charge for this transaction Which is not a very good deal if you're pulling out Let's say just twenty bucks or even fifty bucks now even for fifty bucks if you're charged two dollars That's four percent of the total transaction kind of a ripoff Which is why you should always pull out the maximum if you're gonna go to an ATM machine So if you can get three hundred dollars out and they charge you two bucks Then that's less than one percent on the transaction pretty good deal, huh? Now for all of you really smart gringos out there who have Schwab credit cards and bank accounts up north You'll find that even if you're charged one or two bucks for the transaction at the ATM machine Schwab will eventually reimburse all your ATM fees That's part of their deal aside from that. Here's something else I recommend depending how long you're coming down for or even if you're living down here and just traveling
[04:40] I say you take one to even three thousand US dollars And I'm talking about pristine hundred dollar bills that have no marks or tears or hairline scratches No smudges or ink marks and definitely no penis noses drawn on Andy Jackson Yeah, I know I know they'll accept that stuff in Cleveland, but not down here Then you buy yourself a nice heavy-duty zipper belt which you can get on the internet now Of course, I'm talking about a belt that holds up your pants note There are some very crappy zipper belts on the internet Don't buy one of those cheap flimsy nylon ones because if you pack two or three hundred bucks in there There's always an obvious unusual lump in it. Nope. Not good You know how when snakes swallow a rat it works its way down the snake And an obvious lump until it's excreted as a politician
[05:28] Well, that's what those nylon zipper belts look like when they're loaded with money minus the politician bit Of course, the point is it can never look like a zipper belt It's got to be nice and wide and normal looking so get a real leather belt And I know some of you out there are against leather and animal products But believe me in the rarefied world of zipper belts nylon and plastic just don't cut it So anyway, if you can you get a nice tooled leather zipper belt What's it gonna cost you? I don't know 25-30 bucks on the internet By the way, the best ones I've ever seen in my life are in that little town of Panachell in Guatemala In the Lake Atitlan district Yep, that's where I get mine Beautiful hand-tooled leather Many styles with a very strong yet discreet heavy zipper
[06:14] Now as for me when I'm traveling or out anywhere I'm always wearing a zipper belt Often when I'm traveling and there's not a secure safe in the room And I'm talking about a secure room safe There are room safes and there are room safes If you travel a lot you know what I mean Anyway, when there's not a secure room safe I'll often roll my zipper belt into a tight coil And stick it under an adjacent pillow or between the two mattresses So if you have a good money belt You could easily get a thousand to three thousand dollars into it And no one will be the wiser And if you don't think it's possible here's how to do it You take let's say five that's about the maximum New or almost new clean one hundred dollar bills Stack them on each other and lay them flat on a tabletop Then make two equal folds lengthwise And you'll end up with a long narrow stack of bills about an inch wide
[07:02] Then you take the flat part of a stiff pen And you start ironing the thing flat And you'll see in about 20 seconds how really plastered flat you can make them So anyway let's say you're going to put two thousand dollars in your zipper belt You do that little procedure with five stacked bills four times Then you open your zipper all the way and start layering them in You overlap each little stack of five a bit So that when you open and close your zipper you don't snag them At first you will snag a few but you'll get the hang of it Now suppose you've been on a sweaty amazon safari down in Peru Doing ayahuasca and hanging with the shamans And after three months of altered consciousness You find your way out of the jungle and you realize Wow I haven't checked my zipper belt lately
[07:48] Chances are you'll find that after an ordeal like that Those bills will be so plastered and pressed it'll be hard to separate them Never fear they may be dank and stanky but you'll tease them apart Now do note that if you try to cash in one of those hundred dollar bills You'll probably never be able to do it at little stores and supermarkets and such You'll have to go and do it at a bank Or at one of those money changing booths But I almost never recommend going there because they really stick you Sometimes for up to 20 percent The ones at the airports are the worst Yet they do try to suck you in with so-called special deals In fact some of them will give you the precise bank rate So you think you're getting a great deal But when you sign the paperwork they hit you with a big hidden fee Beware of the fine print To me those places are only for dire emergencies
[08:35] When you haven't got any of the local funny money Like for example when you arrive at an airport at 11 30 at night And you have no local funny money to get a taxi Or if you're starving to get something to eat But do note even if your taxi driver does take dollars He's never going to have changed for a hundred Oh another thing with those rip-off combio boots at the airport They will take slightly ripped and marked up U.S. dollars If that's any consolation Oh and by the way the only other places in Latin America Where they will accept ripped or disfigured U.S. money Or Andy Jackson with a penis nose Is in those countries that use the U.S. dollar Like Panama, El Salvador and Ecuador There just like in the U.S. Dead presidents in any condition are gladly accepted But in the other 17 Latin American countries Forget about it So then you might ask why carry $100 bills
[09:23] Even if they're in good condition when no one has changed Well you should look at your zipper belt cash stash As only a reserve in case of emergency I mean let's face it like we started out saying You can always go to the ATMs But note not only should you carry a money belt reserve You should have a few hundred dollars In nice new U.S. $20 bills too But not in your money belt Way too bulky You have those laying nice and flat In your passport sized money passport and credit card pouch Now that pouch will have a little loop on it That slips securely through your belt Once you've slipped that little loop through the front of your belt You tuck the pouch in the front side of your pants Preferably disgusting as this might sound In the crotch area Because you know this is Latin America
[10:09] And if you're confronted with a crook or a thief And hopefully you're listening to this show To pick up on some tips that'll help you avoid that Anyway if you're ever caught in a bad situation And you get the pat down Last place a Latin thief or no good nick Will pat you down is over your crotch And of course we're talking about guys here And as far as gringa and tourist women getting robbed here in Latin America Most of the times thieves don't pat down women at all They just take the fanny pack, the purse, the backpack And of course the iPhone So anyway you're carrying a few hundred dollars worth of crisp 20 dollar bills And those you'll find are very negotiable for local funny money In fact you'll be surprised how many retailers and storekeepers Will accept US funny money of that denomination Even though everything in the place is marked and labeled in the local funny money
[10:57] All you have to do is pull out a 20 and say Which means you accept dollars And if they say yes you say Which means what exchange rate you're going to give me And believe it or not when you're off the gringo tourist trail Little shops like that will almost always give you the real bank rate However when on the tourist trail they'll stick you for five or ten percent Okay that's it how about another email Hi Johnny Bob here Love your podcast it's just me and my dog Just wondering what country would be good for an old guy that's tired of the US But isn't rich maybe 15k in the bank Ideally a cool temperature would be great Since my dog can't take to the heat too well She can handle about 70 degrees or cooler easily
[11:45] And we like taking long long walks I'm looking to get residents somewhere outside the US Any suggestions are appreciated Preferably in locations that are not associated too closely with the US I'm not particularly looking for tons of US expats either A good sprinkling is enough I hear some countries don't require an income submission either Any help would be appreciated Bob Now Bob I don't want to be too hard on you But I get an awful lot of emails like yours People spelling out their own personal circumstances And asking me to pick the ideal spot for them in Latin America Based on a single paragraph of their wants and desires I can't do that But what I can do is this You just go to www.expatwisdom.com And hit on the phone consult link And we can have a half hour and hour of personal conversation
[12:33] Go through your whole situation in detail Then come up with some kind of plan From what you see in your email I can think of hundreds maybe thousands of places that just might fit the bill Bob you know what every day I get requests from people Asking me to pick the perfect spot for them Well it's not cut and dried It takes some long thought some conversation and analysis And that goes for all you listeners up there Who've got particular issues like that And want me to help you make a plan So then what are the possible steps to get there? First maybe a call in a consult Second boots on the ground Third boots on the ground Fourth more boots on the ground And of course you really must consider coming down to one of my expat wisdom seminars The way things are falling apart in the first world I won't be giving these seminars forever
[13:20] Okay how about this email Don Johnny your royal awesomeness Oh you know how I hate the A word He says here's another gringle business idea To use or not as you say at one of your seminars I was in Montreal for the first time a couple weekends ago It's a very cool city with a lot of young people Art, cafes, patios, etc Here in Canada the major cities and maybe in the US too Are starting to put some temporary patios out on the road Just outside their businesses to take advantage of the great weather During our short summer season Usually they're made of wood and look like decks But this one I've sent you a picture here You'll see was a very cool and innovative idea Made from an old shipping container Painted with street art and nicely fitted inside
[14:07] This could be used all year round in Latin America As a standalone pub or just to augment space From an existing bar, restaurant, cafe A million and one ideas with shipping containers Which means take care Whitney from Cleveland, Canada Andy sent me a nice photo of this container On a Montreal sidewalk But come on, something fishy here Could there really be a Cleveland in Canada? Could be There's actually a town called Chicago in Guatemala Believe it or not Anyway, Whitney I'm glad you brought up that shipping container idea You know at my last few expat wisdom seminars I took my little group to see a very very well done Modern home made out of two shipping containers So I'm on top of that all right bro And by the way At one of my very first expat wisdom seminars
[14:54] About four and a half years ago now As usual a bunch of like-minded attendees Started brainstorming and they came up With a really great idea Again with the shipping containers They said look There are so many steep mountains Valleys and hills in Latin America Where you can't build or farm conventionally Because of the acute angles That said How about buying up a bunch of used shipping containers They said Then buy up a chunk of land on a side of a mountain Overlooking a lake whatever Beautiful scenic view In fact they're practically giving away that kind of land Because like I said You can't build or farm conventionally Just too steep Well these guys said Why don't you just take an excavator And start cutting out long thin flat spots On the side of a mountain And fit a bunch of shipping containers
[15:39] Into those slats And create a hotel out of it So with the land Literally dirt cheap And the cost of used 40-foot shipping containers down here A thousand to three thousand bucks a piece And by the way Some of my seminar creative folks have sketched out the plans For such a project already So that each one of those containers Would be a deluxe hotel room or suite So yes it seems like the do-it-yourselfers in the world Have shipping containers on the brain And that's probably a good thing Yep ideas for those things are popping up everywhere In fact I understand there's an architectural firm here in Latin America That will design a beautiful modern home complete Made out of shipping containers So yet there's another reason To come down to one of my expat wisdom seminars If you've got shipping container construction on the brain
[16:25] Come on down I'll show you a project or two And introduce you to the right people So then you might ask Did that shipping container Side of a mountain hotel scheme ever come to pass? Well four years have passed And nothing yet Not saying it won't get done You see it's just that when you have boots on the ground And when you're with a lot of intelligent like-minded expat wannabes Like at the seminar All kinds of wild and crazy ideas Even level and sober ideas Keep bubbling up Seems like everybody's business brain is in high gear Because by the end of the seminar People are discussing and getting excited about all kinds of ideas You look at these guys and gals And you can see the wheels are turning all the time And no there may be dozens of business ideas You can't do them all Eventually you have to narrow them down
[17:10] And focus on just one or two So anyway if you've got shipping container ideas Come on down Down here there's an oversupply of the things And yet no one seems to be using them Not yet Oh and by the way The modern container home that we'd visit at the seminar Seems like everyone says God this is nice I could live here And here's a short email that made me laugh In fact I get a lot of emails on this Hey Johnny love the show Would you by any chance Have any photos of expat Eddie's wife? We heard so much about her And now could use a visual Thanks and keep up the great work Scott from Sacramento Well Scott like I said I get a lot of people asking me about expat Eddie And his trials and tribulations And of course what he's going through with his fiance She's really not his wife yet
[17:57] But the wedding is soon It's gonna be in San Salvador That's the capital of El Salvador Eddie's asked me to be in his wedding I guess I'm gonna be the MC too Yep Eddie's fiance is all right with that She's not pissed off at me anymore Remember I mentioned on a past show That we had a falling out about a year ago I knew she'd get over it And quick because one thing I've learned about Latins down here They're very forgiving And much more so than many first world people I know Yep they can hold grudges But not for long In fact you can see it in action all the time With couples who are romantically involved The guy gets caught cheating or whatever And soon enough they're back together again So even with a worst case scenario like that The majority of couples get back together Yet believe it or not It can get worse Much worse And still there's quick forgiveness
[18:43] How about this little story that happened to a Latin friend of mine And though it might sound kind of unusual It's not Here's what happened This wealthy Latin friend of mine He's about 45 years old He's married to a 30 year old Latin girl They've been married five years and have two kids They live in a nice upper middle class guarded subdivision Anyway one day out in front of the entrance to their subdivision A lady towing her young 10 year old kid showed up at the guard station Demanding to see none other than my Latin friend Now obviously she was a lower middle class lady And the only lower middle class ladies that enter subdivisions like that Are maids and cleaning ladies She was none of those yet demanded to see my buddy So the guard called my friend's house Which is what they usually do when someone's at the gate
[19:29] Now my friend recognized the name from his distant past He told me he turned red Took a deep breath Looked at his wife who was standing right there And said to the guard Go ahead let her in Turns out he was his old girlfriend from about 10 or 12 years ago Now note my Latin buddy grew up a spoiled rich kid Before he got married and settled down He sewed his well notes indiscriminately As spoiled kids of the wealthier want to do So now here's this upscale Latin family man In the advertising business just like his dad In fact he inherited the business from him Now he and his wife are standing on the porch Facing down a lower middle class lady Who's towing a 10 year old kid And the first thing she says He's yours Well the kid looked just like my friend
[20:16] So she was right Now let me tell you There are a lot of humble calm and collected Latin women I've met a few myself But I'd say the majority of the younger ones Especially 30 and under Under the right set of circumstances Can blow like an active volcano Yep I've seen many a Latin temper in action myself So when that lower class lady and her kid Walked up to the door Suddenly it turned into a zombie apocalypse movie He said the two women went at it With shouts and obscenities That could be heard six blocks to the guard shack So faced with that What do you think his upscale wife did? Well he said the worst of it was That she made him sleep in the guest room for a week So it did blow over and fast So what about the other woman with the kid? Well she wanted money of course So then what's the back story?
[21:03] Well she was a waitress at a popular beach resort About a hundred miles away Typical tropical beachfront party place Where a lot of young kids would go on weekends And she happened to hook up with my buddy For a couple of days And now after 10 years She finally located the guy with guess what? Facebook! By the way the kid was kind of dressed in rags And actually had fleas So in the end my buddy paid the mother off Didn't take much and took the kid in Now get this Being that this is Latin America And it's so Christian My Latin friends immediate family His parents, his sisters, his cousins Were overjoyed when they found out He had another kid Nope they weren't pissed off They weren't embarrassed They didn't scold him There were no ruminations at all They were just overjoyed
[21:49] Another kid in the family And even better since it is a macho society It was a boy And as for his in-laws His swagrest His pissed off wife's immediate relatives Guess what? They were happy too Another kid in the family Didn't matter that it had nothing to do with their blood So on a positive note You have to hand it to these Latins Down here It's all about the kids I suppose that's why Even the poorest of Latin families are quite happy Because they actually have a family unit A father and a mother living at home with the kids Even in this macho society With all that male cheating going on Somehow in the vast majority of cases The family unit is still intact And believe it or not Nearly every night at dinner time The whole family sits down Says their prayers and eats together When's the last time your family did that?
[22:36] So even kids of the poorest of the poor Grow up with a mother and a father in the house Whereas up in the first world Think about it Last I heard Only about 10% of young poor kids in the ghetto Have a mother and a father living under the same roof And you know it bothers me When I hear people talk about the so-called poor up in the States Down here That level of poverty would be considered Middle or upper middle class The so-called ghetto poor up in the States Have TVs and cars and refrigerators And microwave ovens Even dishwashers Not to mention healthcare Computers Smartphones Housing assistance And dozens and dozens of other welfare programs I don't even want to know about Just pisses me off And what do the lower middle classes and poor down here have in common? Well they live in tin shacks
[23:23] Sometimes with dirt floors Have no indoor plumbing No safety net at all And no hope of ever owning a car Or even a motorcycle In fact my maintenance guy Whose family lives in one of those tin shacks He told me not so long ago He hopes to have enough money someday To buy Get this A nice bicycle I guess that's what I'll get him for Christmas Don't tell anybody, okay? But I digress I know that email was about Ex-Pet Eddie's girlfriend, right? Well yes She remains a beautiful well-paid runway model That is she's in demand And does a lot of magazine shoots and fashion shows And she's under contract to a top modeling agency You see her on posters Selling motor oil and Twinkies and stuff And if you're in a car parts store Or a mechanic shop You might see her on one of their calendars, you know?
[24:09] With a hard hat holding a wrench And some battery terminals Dressed in a bikini of course So yes in Central America She's considered a kind of a top model And yes she's under contract And she makes a whopping $1,000 a month Yep A grand a month And she's told me that only about a dozen models in Salvador Make that kind of dough Even if you're a TV news presenter A weather lady or whatever That's the top of the pay scale too About a thousand bucks a month Now remember in El Salvador The minimum wage is about $250 a month Though most unskilled workers like maids and gardeners And people working off the books Will take a lot less than that So anyway I'm just pointing out the true disparities living down here You see the same pretty faces showing up on billboards And in TV commercials and stuff
[24:55] And you think hey That girl's got it made She must really be in the chips Well you'd be wrong The reality is she's living large Because those jobs come with a lot of perks But she's making about half the US minimum wage And over the years you know I've talked to Eddie's girlfriend And a lot of her top model friends And you'd be surprised You know what their greatest fantasy is To go to the US and be a top model And it's even a bigger surprise That they don't want to go up there for the money It's just that the first world is the place to be You know why do you think 10 million illegal lanterns a year sneak through And you know sitting down and talking to these ladies You know what question I get all the time? Johnny what are my chances if I go to the states That I can be a top model there too Now I bet you didn't know that even the most beautiful And sexy Latin American models have an inferiority complex
[25:42] And think that first world gringas in the modeling business Far outshine them Why? Because they know damn well That every Latin American guy's fantasy is to hook up With a North American tall blonde gringa girl And you know what I always tell them the truth And they never want to hear this In looks and sexiness and style you got it made As soon as you walk in there all lies are going to be on you But you'll never make it Why? Because you don't speak English And even if you try The average white bread middle class public Have a kind of built in prejudice to anyone That speaks English with a Spanish accent Which is why almost all famous and popular newscasters Speak like they came from Nebraska Like Johnny Carson Sure there are some exceptions but they're very very rare
[26:28] For example Sofia Vergara and Selma Hayek And what did they have besides sexiness and good looks? Well for starters right place right time right cast and a ton of luck Yep in a way they won the lottery And you know when I've had that conversation with a model or two down here Including Eddie's fiancé They think basic English is all they'll need to know Not realizing that as soon as they open their mouths When out rolls that thick accent As far as the media industry in the states it's game over Their opportunities very narrow and limited Just like Eddie and I will always have a bad English accent when we speak Spanish Latins who learn English as adults will always speak it with a bad Spanish accent In fact the only Latin born people I've ever met
[27:15] Who speak English without an accent at all Are the occasional children of the rich Who've attended bilingual helicopter schools Since they were five or six years old Remember at those schools they have real first world gringo teachers That's why so many rich Latin kids speak English with no accent at all You've been listening to The Expat Files Living in Latin America coming to you twice a week from somewhere south of the border Email me theexpatfiles at gmail.com And don't forget to check out expatwisdom.com To sign up for your free reports on Latin America See you next time! Nos vemos!