Episode Summary
In this episode of The Expat Files, Johnny Mueller explores the differences in golf culture between the U.S. and Latin America. He highlights the accessibility and affordability of public golf courses in the U.S., where middle-class families could afford to learn the sport, compared to the exclusivity and high cost of private golf courses in Latin America. Johnny shares his personal experience growing up near a public golf course in the U.S., where the green fee for kids under 12 was as low as 25 cents. He contrasts this with the lack of public golf courses in Latin America, where golf is primarily a private and expensive sport, accessible only to the wealthy.
Johnny also discusses the stark contrast in golf infrastructure between the U.S. and Latin America. The U.S. has over 11,000 public golf courses, while Latin America has zero. He shares his personal experience of moving to Latin America and selling his golf clubs, as well as his friend's experience joining a Costa Rican country club. Johnny emphasizes the exclusivity and social dynamics of these clubs, noting that many members rarely play golf but enjoy the social status and privileges. He also touches on the macho culture surrounding golf in Latin America, including gender segregation on the courses.
In another segment, Johnny recounts his experiences with golf in Costa Rica and Panama, highlighting the prevalence of cheating among Latin golfers and the classist attitudes he observed. He describes how wealthy Latin golfers treated maintenance workers poorly and engaged in unethical behavior on the course, such as cheating and manipulating their scores. Johnny also notes the competitive nature of the golf community, where cheating was common and often accepted as part of the culture. Despite the negative experiences, he acknowledges the beauty and affordability of the courses, though he advises against joining due to the dishonesty and social dynamics.
The episode also touches on the lack of representation of Latin American golfers in international tournaments, with Johnny suggesting that many tournaments are rigged or predetermined. He also discusses the challenges of plumbing in earthquake-prone regions, emphasizing the importance of taking photos of plumbing setups during construction to help identify leaks later. Johnny recommends turning off the main water valve when leaving a property for extended periods and hiring professionals for plumbing tasks rather than attempting DIY solutions.
Finally, the episode serves as the closing of the episode, with Johnny Mueller providing a brief summary of the content and inviting listeners to engage further through email and a website. The segment ends with a friendly sign-off in Spanish: 'See you next time nos vemos.'
Topics
Golf in the U.S. vs. Latin America, Accessibility and affordability of public golf courses, Economic and social barriers to golf in Latin America, Johnny Mueller's personal experience with golf, Golf infrastructure in the U.S. vs. Latin America, Country club culture in Latin America, Social dynamics and exclusivity in Latin American country clubs, Personal experiences of Johnny Mueller and his friend, Machismo and gender segregation in golf culture, Classism in golf communities, Cheating in golf, Cultural attitudes toward labor and maintenance workers
Chapters
00:00:00 Opening 00:01:24 Golf in Latin America: A Luxury Sport for the Wealthy 00:01:38 Johnny Mueller's Early Golfing Experience in the U.S. 00:03:50 The Role of Public Golf Courses in Making Golf Accessible in the U.S. 00:05:42 Golf Course Infrastructure Comparison Between the U.S. and Latin America 00:07:28 The Exclusivity and Social Status of Country Clubs in Latin America 00:11:18 Initial Impressions of Golf Culture in Costa Rica 00:11:42 The Point of the Story: Cheating and Classism 00:16:43 Affordable and High-Quality Golf Courses in Latin America 00:17:23 Cheating in Casual Golf Matches and the Ethics of the Game 00:18:53 Year-Round Golf in Latin America and the Social Status of Golfers 00:20:58 Plumbing Challenges and the Importance of Documentation in Construction 00:22:04 The Impact of Earthquakes on Plumbing Systems 00:23:08 Tools and Techniques for Detecting Leaks 00:25:23 The Importance of Taking Photos of Plumbing 00:27:36 Episode Summary and Closing Remarks
Transcript
Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.
[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Now, you know here on the expat files I rarely talk about sports except to cut up on people who are obsessed about it And what I've noticed down here is when gringles and long-term expats are obsessed with sports They tend to hang around the TV a lot and well drink and you know down here in Latin America
[00:49] The average male is obsessed about his soccer Latin males That is but when speaking about gringles and expats down here as far as soccer Well, they just don't get too thrilled about it though I admit many of them come down carrying a torch for the old home team whether it's the Chicago Bulls Cubs or the Packers Knicks Whatever old habits die hard, but today I'm not gonna talk about the Latin male obsession with soccer or what they call football I'm gonna talk about a high-end sport here That's pretty much only for rich folks one That's never really caught on with the middle classes down here because well They just can't afford it and they never will I'm talking about golf now before you change your dial because you think this will be Of limited interest to you There are some great lessons to be learned from what I'm gonna tell you right now concerning golf here in Latin America
[01:38] First of all, let me point out that since I was about six years old I was an avid golfer because I lived only two blocks from a public golf course And back then at 25 cents around for kids under 12 Yes, and I did say 25 cents around but of course for nine holes Which they kicked up to I think 35 cents when I was about 10 Anyway, my parents considered it a great alternative to any other kind of trouble I might get into as a youngster during this summer vacation time So they just kicked me out the door gave me a quarter and said get out of my hair Go bother someone at the golf course and I did now naturally if you live pretty much right next to a cheap golf course And you had a chance to do it every day after a while even if you're all thumbs you get pretty good at it Oh, and by the way, my sister worked in the clubhouse So I rarely even had to pay that quarter and I get a free hot dog and an ice cream out of it, too
[02:28] Thanks, of course to the goodness of the Chicago taxpayers who subsidized those public golf courses and as for mayor daily that sociopathic jerk I think that was the only good thing he ever did for us Chicago land kids But I digress as usual anyway, according to that 10,000 hour rule You know what I'm talking about Anyone that puts 10,000 hours or so into anything that he or she does is gonna be in the top one percentile Whether it's golfing writing playing the piano or lying to your constituency or robbing banks now the way I figure it by the time I was maybe 16. I got four or five thousand hours in which is a good start But not enough I found out later to make a career out of it Anyways, you can imagine me and my little buddies who lived around that public golf course got pretty good at it
[03:13] And some of us including me started winning some tournaments in and around Chicago Sometimes even getting our names and pictures in the paper holding our little trophies That said all of us kids up north who were into golfing had that great advantage of having cheap public golf courses and believe me At 25 or 35 cents for the green fee those courses were always crowded balls to the wall In fact, but that never stopped me or my buddies from getting on because remember I had pull my sister worked there Anyway, without those dirt cheap public courses American middle-class kids in the United States would have never learned the game of golf It never would have caught on because whose parents could ever afford a private country club much less the cost of a set of new Clubs for a kid. In fact, I remember going through the Sears and the monkey wards
[04:02] catalogs and seeing kids clubs for something like thirty nine bucks or so Which I think I got for Christmas one year, but only after renting clubs for a couple of years now I don't know if you knew this or not But those public courses in the states would rent clubs to kids for like I think it was a dime Now, of course, they were always beat up and pretty terrible But they were clubs and often kids would bring an empty bag and rent one set of clubs and split them So a nickel apiece would get you a set of clubs or a half a set now note down here in Latin America There are no such things as public golf courses They're all strictly private and expensive for the locals that is but for a screen goes a very very good deal And I'll tell you why in a second now No down here There aren't many golf courses because only the very wealthy down here can afford memberships
[04:52] That is to say there are no golf courses any city of a hundred thousand or so Usually has one or two within easy driving distance and near any city of a million or two You'll find three to five golf courses more of course with higher populations Now note in Latin America There are more than 50 cities that technically have a population of a million or more and if you really want to get precise There's more than a hundred cities with over a million if you count the nearby Outlying areas that said as you're traveling around down here. You're going to run into golf courses to be specific in South America right now. There are around 718 whole golf courses all like I said before private and you know Columbia alone has over 60 18 whole golf courses to the non golfer that might seem like a lot
[05:39] But remember in the United States there are over 11,000 public golf courses alone versus zero public golf courses in Latin America and note there are about 4,000 private golf courses in the States versus around a thousand total courses which are all private in Central and South America So even though Latin America has around a half billion people about a third more than the US population The US has 15 times as many golf courses now the fact is when I was a teenage kid I was kind of on the local Chicago golf circuit myself Eventually, I got burnt out on it then when I finally came down here to Latin America for good I sold my clubs up north and didn't even bring any down So I've been down here in Latin America 25 years or something like that and didn't miss it now a few years back
[06:27] It just so happened that one of my very rich gringo friends a buddy of mine from the old Chicago days now Living in Costa Rica called me up and said come on down I just joined the Costa Rica Country Club and I think back then at the time He told me that the membership was around 20,000 US dollars which meant you owned a share of the club and if you wanted to get out You could just sell that share to anyone and at that time there are only three golf courses in Costa Rica And this was by far the most deluxe So like up in the US they either sell shares or you have to buy Property on the golf course itself because some courses also own upscale housing developments So you buy one of those and you're automatically a member in fact often You'll see shares like that for sale in the classified ads in the local newspapers
[07:13] Which can only mean some supposed rich guy is down on his luck now and has to sell out now Let me tell you if you think that belonging to an exclusive country club in the States is a big deal You know a self-esteem booster and coolness factor bragging rights all that You ain't seen nothing yet you come down here to Latin America And I'm telling you these country clubs are just filled with that country's hoy polloy and the movers and shakers Which includes all those disgusting pretentious jerks with the bulletproof SUVs and bodyguards that I always make fun of on this show You know the stinking rich so-called creoleos with their generations of inherited wealth and of course the sociopathic lying Thieving politicians that have bribed or stolen their way to the top That's the country club crowd down here and of course let's not forget their wives kids and mistresses
[08:02] So that's who's hanging around the country club now of course if you're the odd gringo who likes golf and you come down here to live you'll want to join a club like that because hell that's your sport and If and when you do join up you'll find it's not just about golfing if you let yourself You'll be sucked into a very exclusive social circle And it's hard not to be because those are the guys you're gonna be setting up for sums with soon enough You'll find you're on a first-name basis with generals and vice presidents and ambassadors and all the big-time crooks now This might crack you up expat Eddie who belongs to a country club in Salvador because he's long been a hacker too He says sometimes at night when he's sitting home watching the 10 o'clock news He'll recognize some of the guys that are being indicted or hauled away in cuffs
[08:49] There are guys from his golf club who he's played a few rounds with now I've been told by a reliable source who works at one of these clubs in fact at that time He was the guy who ran the pro shop at the Costa Rican Country Club He told me that more than half the people that have memberships never golf at all However, they all have personal lockers and a couple of pairs of $300 golf shoes and a couple of sets of $3,000 clubs that rarely get used but the locker boys keep polishing and buffing them just in case and some of the members He said had expensive golf carts That only were used to haul the member from the parking lot to the bar or restaurant and at first I thought the pro shop guy was blowing hot air because you don't drop 20,000 bucks for a membership and buy all that equipment and never golf
[09:35] Then again being a member allows you to have weddings and bar mitzvahs and stuff and you can hang out in the restaurant And the bar and your kids can swim in the pool, etc But you know down here It's all about the fact you can afford the membership and the so-called prestige that goes along with it Okay, fair enough. You might say they have money So why shouldn't they join and why do they have to golf? They can just kind of hang out I suppose there's enough of that going on in country clubs up in the states, too But here's where it gets interesting my gringo friend who bought that membership at the Costa Rica club had almost no one He could partner up with at least not on the weekdays He said look you can go out there on almost any day of the week and shoot off a shotgun and not hit anyone Though they had a full roster of members. That's how desolate and unused the place was
[10:25] So anyway, oftentimes my gringo friend larry had to shoot all by himself and that's no fun And many times he resorted to going out and trying to shoot 18 with the pro shop guy because there just was no one around Then he brought his wife out with him a couple of times Which seemed to attract attention of the few people that were at the place It's such a macho society that it even extends to the golf course where guys will rarely shoot golf with women In fact back then anyway that country club had specific days that the women could shoot Yeah, that'd go down well in the states wouldn't it talk about a macho society, huh? And when my buddy larry told me about the golf scene down in latin america because he has hit quite a few courses Being that he was always a bit obsessed about the game himself
[11:11] He said the people he'd see occasionally at the golf course were the spoiled rich kids of the guys that own the memberships And he said he just does not like shooting with those pretentious little jerks Though like he said they're not all jerks. Some of them are pretty nice kids However, he said even with the nicest guys their classism really gets on your nerves after a while He says it's annoying the way they treat the greens keepers and the maintenance people the same way people down here Treat their cleaning ladies and maintenance guys as if they don't even exist All right I'm sure you knew that already but here's the point Being that my buddy was basically starved for partners to play with and he could rarely put together a foursome with any latins Not to mention gringo said he knew so he started calling me and asking me to come out
[11:57] A couple of times I did and since they were weekdays like he said the course was practically empty So the first two times I went out with him alone and the third time was on a saturday So being the weekend there actually were people on the golf course and he managed to wangle together a foursome with two wealthy latin guys Not the kids of those wealthy guys with the actual membership holders And being that we were gringos and the only gringos on the course that day I might add Which at the time wasn't so very strange Even though there were a lot of gringos in Costa Rica because not too many could fork out the 20 grand membership for the golf Not to mention at that time with the new gringo influx There were three other courses under construction and gringos were waiting Hoping that much competition would bring the membership and initiation prices down which they didn't
[12:46] Back then most of the gringos weren't actually living full-time in Costa Rica They were just tourists and buying plots of land etc. So anyway during that saturday morning foursome I Happened to catch both of those guys cheating. No, not my buddy. Larry. He was a righteous guy I'm talking about those two wealthy high rolling latin movers and shakers and they did it so blatantly I couldn't believe it. They'd kick the ball to get a better lie They pulled a ball out of the brush and say winner rules I caught one guy actually teeing his ball up in the fairway And one of those guys when he hit his ball way into the rough He walked in only about three feet into the deep grass and suddenly he was hitting his ball And I saw him hit that ball It was at least a block away deep in the woods
[13:31] Then I watched the other guy kick his ball when he thought no one was looking from behind a tree To get a better lie in a straight shot at the green So both these guys were writing fives on their scorecards instead of sevens and threes instead of fours I felt like I was shooting golf with the three stooges I mean two stooges now, of course, I just met these guys So I didn't say anything but I said a few words to my friend. All right, you know what he said to me later He said johnny they all cheat I've been out with a lot of these guys here and there because hell I have to go out with somebody and I do partner up sometimes and they're all a bunch of freaking cheaters And that's why he said I wouldn't trust these guys in a business deal for two seconds As larry put it you cheat in golf you cheat in life Then another time about a month later
[14:18] We went out with a couple of different guys and again They cheated their asses off. In fact get this even before we teed off larry said The guy in the blue pants is the former minister of defense. You just watch he'll cheat his ass off Then he added but do me a favor johnny. Don't call him on it So it was a very beautiful golf course and highly underused But with jerks like that as members, it was just hard to take the whole thing seriously Oh and do note that just like golf courses in the states at all these latin golf courses They have a big bulletin board usually in the clubhouse or in the bar Listing the latest and greatest achievements and the team wins and who got a hole in one this month The guys who shot or hit under par the guys with eagles and multiple birdies and tournament winners
[15:09] Basically, it's the liars corner So needless to say that was the last time I ever played around a golf in costa rica Now flash forward about three or four months later. I was still in costa rica Well, it turns out one day over my morning coffee while looking through the local san jose newspaper While flicking through the sports pages, which I rarely do these days I noticed the happy smiling mug of one of those guys. I shot golf with one of the guys who cheated his ass off And he was looking so proud holding a giant trophy that he'd just won in a tournament Which didn't make me so much as wanna vomit But made me want to call the newspaper to say this guy's a cheating dickhead But costa rica wasn't my only bad golfing experience I also had a bad experience in panama where I got thrown in with a latin threesome
[15:57] And I caught one of the guys cheating there, too What a laugh he kept on dropping and moving balls around and when he saw that I was watching him He just looked at me and smiled and said winter rules To which I said if I remember my geography correctly the last time you guys had snow was about 15 million years ago And the other guy I didn't actually catch cheating But i'm sure he was since his final score was about five strokes lower than it had any right to be For you golfers out there, you know the type He was the kind of guy who would disappear for like 15 20 minutes and reappear ahead of you somewhere You know hacking away and playing in and out of the rough all the time Anyway, I could go on and on about these so-called unsportsmanlike activities, but bottom line i'm not telling you you shouldn't join
[16:43] They're beautiful courses down here and by first world standards extremely cheap unless you're on the gringo tourist trail, of course Surprisingly enough a great number of them are designed by the top designers in the world Now remember country clubs down here really separate the latin classes The middle classes even the upper middle classes could never come up with the fee to join Meaning you're never gonna find an average joe a good old boy waiting around the clubhouse to pick up a foursome Because you see the average guy at a country club in latin america Has generally got a couple of bodyguards waiting for him in the parking lot So if you're gonna overlook all that bs and suspend your ethics a bit Well, then go ahead and join the club or if you just like whacking the ball join the club
[17:28] But don't please don't take these guys seriously Now don't think that i'm saying that every one of these guys cheats because there are some that don't i'm sure Just like out there somewhere. There are a few honest used car salesmen and There's someone out there who thinks oj didn't do it And i'm sure there's a parent or two out there who'd let bill cosby babysit their 15 year old daughter Now as far as golf goes, you know in almost every friendly match. There's some betting going on now You might be only betting a buck a hole or whatever But still remember if you do it with these guys They're gonna cheat So what are you gonna do when you catch these guys red-handed and it involves you losing some money? Even if it's just small change It's an insult if there's one thing that's totally against the golfer's rule of etiquette is
[18:14] Never call someone a cheat to his face and worse if there's bystanders around most likely those will be fighting words Now kids they're more honest and will sometimes call someone a cheat to his face But adults they usually bite their tongue and don't think you'll get around it by not betting Then golf if you don't join in when everyone else is betting that's kind of an unfriendly standoffish sign too So it's that rock in the hard place thing again That said what about the big tournaments down here in latin america you pick up any sunday or monday newspaper and you're gonna see A section on golf and all the tournaments they have Oh and by the way for all you golfers if you come down here You never have to pack away your clubs for the winter because there is no off season And note the fact that it's only the rich the famous and the hoi polloi that can afford golf memberships
[19:05] And you've got a season that's all year round the newspapers give it a lot of press coverage in some cases way too much But they do it because it's kind of like the newspaper's society pages for men Since those winners inevitably come from families who are high society movers and shakers So then you might be thinking well if all these guys are cheating What's happening with those tournaments? You see being won and lost in the press all the time Well, I don't know about that But I wouldn't enter a golf tournament down here if they told me I was going to win even before we teed off Which come to think of it is probably how a lot of these tournaments work Kind of like how the beauty contests work down here, too You know how almost none of the big beauty contest winners are Coming from poor families. Hmm. How's that happen?
[19:52] Just note that on the international golfing scene, you know, the big pga tournaments and stuff Isn't it funny how you see almost zero latin americans qualifying? Now i'm not talking about the espanosas or the leetrovinos Those are second and third generation latins in the united states who were born there So they are us citizens I'm talking about latins who qualify for the big pga tournaments who were born and raised in latin countries There is rarest chinese quarterbacks Anyway, I thought i'd give all you golfers out there a little heads up on that because when you do come down here Lugging those clubs all the way down from cleveland chances are you're gonna want to hit the links And by the way, if you take just a few too many mulligans and you like to cheat just to smidge yourself
[20:39] You'll fit right in you might even make the sports pages Okay now changing gears just a little bit a few shows ago. I was talking about earthquakes down here in latin. America They're kind of like hurricanes and tornadoes up north You certainly don't like them and though they don't come often You do get somewhat used to them and know how to handle them when they do happen That said i'd like to give you a little bit of very good advice when you buy a house build one buy a business Or build one whatever personally me and a lot of long-term expats have learned the hard way It's a certainty that sooner or later one or more of your water pipes are going to spring a leak and it could be a huge trauma or Some small little inconvenience largely depending on one very important thing If you or someone else took detailed photos of the construction process along the way
[21:27] Specifically photos of when they were laying the water pipes Do note that water leaks will happen even if you have the best of plumbers Even though from what i've seen about 80 percent of the plumbers Skip steps and don't use the recommended technique for joining pipes Which does contribute quite a bit to all the plumbing problems they have in buildings everywhere down here in latin. America Note you're bound to have some problems some years down the line that said Even the best of plumbers can't eliminate a water leak or a crack in a pipe that comes as a result of a lot Of small earthquakes and note down here in most of latin america You get a handful of small earthquakes every year never enough to send you running out into the streets But sometimes enough to rattle your plates in your windows So then what do you think it's doing to the plastic pipes that are embedded in concrete or are running alongside your house a few feet
[22:19] Underground well, I can tell you this if you have a leak in a pipe outside due to vibration from a lot of little earthquakes You'll eventually be able to spot a moist patch of dirt in the yard But the problem is a lot of times a pipe just doesn't break it develops a little crack at a joint And it seeps and it seeps maybe for days weeks or months and all the time your meter's running Now that can be one of the biggest headaches in the world because if you call a plumber in If he sees the meter is running but quite slowly Even though all faucets and toilets in the house are shut off Note if the leak is small and your pipes are buried quite deep in the yard There may never be percolation of water to the surface and you'll be pulling your hair out to figure out what to do And a plumber will just tell you to play the waiting game until you do notice some moisture somewhere
[23:08] Now, of course, there are some tricks and some special plumbing tools to find leaks using compressed air sound and moisture sensors, etc Now that stuff can work in the dry season during the rainy season which lasts a half a year Sometimes it rains every day for weeks sometimes months So your whole yard is going to be a bit moist then how are you going to find a percolating leak? That's why it's so valuable to have a nice set of photos when the pipes were originally laid So that you can show them to a plumber if there is a leak then even if it's a slow leak And there's no sign of moisture many times he'll be able to spot the place. That's the most likely culprit It's usually where there's a tea or a union or a bend in the pipe How are you going to know that without a photo? And by the way, suppose you do see a wet spot in the dirt in your backyard somewhere
[23:57] How do you know the pipe isn't three four or five foot away from that leak because water does not travel in straight lines It'll find the path of least resistance and that's what makes finding a leaky pipe in concrete. So difficult to diagnose Not to beat a dead horse here If you do spring a leak a small one unless it's a big one and it shows up right away What are you going to do when you get that big water bill and the plumber comes out and says well I just can't find it right now. We'll just have to wait and see I mean let's face it You're not going to have someone dig a trench all around your house until hopefully you see a wet spot What most latin people will do is turn off the water main every time they go out Indefinitely and they'll turn it off right before they go to sleep every night Because if they don't it's going to cost some real money
[24:45] And what can even be more of a problem is if you have a break in a pipe in a concrete wall Because remember all good construction down here in latin america is concrete block construction Which of course means all your plumbing tubes are running in concrete and through concrete block So you better have photos of those tubes before they put the final concrete or plaster top coat on so you know Where all that stuff is even if you have no trouble with earthquakes at all Someday you're going to be putting up a shell for a dartboard and you're going to puncture one of those tubes and now You've got one hell of a mess But if you have photos you can check them ahead of time and make sure you don't drive a nail through one But unfortunately, alas, it seems only gringos and expats take photos of that stuff In fact i've never once seen a contractor or architect do it on his own if it's your construction job
[25:34] You're the one who's got to give the order it better yet You come down on the days when they're laying those pipes and you take your own photos Which brings us to buying and renting existing properties. Well, I can tell you 99% of the time they'll have no photos So when you do have a link and you're gonna get them believe me if you're renting at least it's the landlord That's responsible not you But since down here in latin america as in many big cities up in the states Landlords are not known to be very responsive when they get calls like that Sometimes you'll have to shag them down yourself to even get a reply. So bottom line you're gonna have water leaks It's a hundred percent certainty And that's why even if you believe your plumbing is in very good condition and it might be If you leave your house or business for more than a day at a time
[26:23] I suggest you close the main water valve. I know it sounds like overkill, but it is a wise thing to do In fact one very anal gringo I know installed a water shut off solenoid at his main So he just flips the switch in the kitchen and it's off now because water leaks are such a nuisance and a problem down here I've taken an unofficial poll among gringos who I know have built their own houses I don't mean they actually built them themselves But they hired someone a contractor an architect to do it And as it turns out aside from your normal wear and tear and the occasional little leak or drip you get from your sink faucet Or your toilet flapper valve when it comes to leaks that have to be attended to immediately where you have to call in a plumber Let's say it seems as if the average gringo who thought he'd built himself a first world style home
[27:08] Has a good size leak about every year and a half and note for all you do-it-yourselfer guys out there Unless you've got the fortitude to pound away at a concrete wall for a couple hours I'd call in a plumber or a handyman first unless you don't mind getting carpal tunnel now You might pride yourself in being a do-it-yourselfer. But look why screw around when guys down here make 15 or 20 bucks a day south of the border You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america coming to you twice a week from somewhere south of the border Email me the expat files at gmail.com And don't forget to check out expatwisdom.com to sign up for your free reports on latin america See you next time nos vemos