#379 – Episode 379: Living Off the Gringo Trail, Archaeological Sites, and Scams in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:14] Hello there all you expat wannabes, I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to The Expat Files, living in Latin America. The show that tells you just what it's like to live, work, play and or retire down here in Latin America. It's a mix of the good, the bad, the ugly and the great and it's all right here so let's get started. You know one of the truly amazing things about living way off the gringo tourist trail is that there are hundreds if not thousands of amazing ruins and archeologic sites to visit. Some worth maybe a half an hour or so looksy and others so spectacular that it would take you a couple days to get through the whole thing. And even then, especially when you're off the gringo tourist trail, when you do stumble on archeological sites open to the public, almost always as you're walking through you'll

[01:02] see that the place is maybe only 5 to 20 percent excavated. In fact if you go to the second largest Mayan city of all in Tikal in Guatemala, and like I said it would take you a couple of days to see that place, anyway as you're walking through hundreds and dozens of very symmetrical good sized hills covered with trees and growth and roots and soon enough you'll realize those are unexcavated pyramids that mother nature had long since taken over. Basically they've gone to seed after being unoccupied and uncared for for anywhere from 500 years to a couple of millennium. In fact one archeologist I spoke to down here said there are at least a thousand pyramids

[01:47] in Central America alone that not only haven't been excavated yet but haven't been touched at all. And if you're paying attention they're somewhat easy to spot. They've still got a couple of feet of dirt and vegetation growth on them and like I said previously they're just too symmetrical. Your natural hills and mounds just don't come that way. Yet your mind has a hard time grasping the fact that no one's even made the effort yet. And that's also why when you walk right by one of these things you're thinking I wonder what gold, silver, artifacts and treasures lie inside of that thing. The fact is every one of those untouched mounds is a big mystery and sometimes you have fantasized about taking a pick and a shovel in there yourself. Especially when you're at those ruins way off the grango tourist trail and no one else

[02:35] is around. And you know that's just an idle fantasy but we all get those sometimes don't we? And believe me if you think I'm stretching the truth by saying these unexcavated mounds show up quite regularly, well it's no exaggeration. That's why every once in a while you're reading the papers down here in Latin America that during the construction of some airport, housing project or highway they'll sometimes blast right into an archeologic find or pyramid. And in many cases don't stop the project at all but keep on going. And a case in point is last year you may have remembered I mentioned on a show that some scumbag dickhead thieving politician from Belize was excavating a site for his mansion the construction crew hit a pyramid. And when they stopped progress to notify him he said don't stop get rid of it and put

[03:22] my house up. Now that's not to say that happens all the time but it happens enough that occasionally it hits the papers. But somehow stories like that never seem to work their way up north. So anyway the point I'm trying to make here is when you're off the grango tourist trail you've got a real golden opportunity to visit some of these sites and enjoy the whole experience without the throngs of people and all the hawkers trying to sell you junk. Because there's so many hundreds of these archeological sites open to the public off the grango tourist trail we can often have those places pretty much to ourselves and believe me an experience like that is very special. Expat Eddie says it's like getting into Disneyland an hour before the park opens. In fact just to prove that theory isn't a theory but reality.

[04:11] Just last week I visited a huge Mayan ruin of course off the grango tourist trail a very spectacular ancient city site way out in the boonies about a two hour drive from the nearest medium-sized modern Latin city. And get this as you walk around you'll notice there's about 15 small pyramids that have never been excavated yet. They're just big tall symmetrical mounds covered by trees dirt and plant growth. So in this case you got the ruins of a Mayan city, an acropolis, a ball court. That stuff has all been excavated and it's nicely preserved. And they've also excavated the living quarters for royalty, a market, housing for the peons as well as some very cool stuff like a central chopping block where heads were decapitated

[04:57] and hearts ripped out. You know the usual weekend entertainment for the masses. I mean after all back then they didn't have the walking dead or the Kardashians right? Anyway you can walk around and observe everything you'd expect an ancient city to have except for one thing. Tourists. I take that back that's not to say there are no tourists at all I mean I was a tourist right but let me tell you as soon as I pulled up into the parking lot I realized I could have unloaded a shotgun or even a machine gun and not come close to hitting anything other than ancient structures, pyramids or a few unlucky birds. In fact within that total Mayan city which encompassed maybe 50 normal city blocks I'd say. While I was there which was for at least 2 or 3 hours there couldn't have been more

[05:44] than 50 or 60 people in the whole place. And it was a Sunday that I went, last Sunday to be precise, a day that all Latin Americans have free so they make the best of it by either visiting relatives, going to parks and beaches etc. However very few give a damn about their own heritage. Sound familiar? Surprisingly enough even if there's a pyramid or an archaeological site a couple of blocks away from where they live they'll probably never go visit it. They'd all rather hang around the TV watching the soccer game you know? So the people I actually did run into last Sunday at the archaeological site were a mixed bag some Latin Americans but no locals. They were mostly from other far away Latin countries, educated upper middle class types

[06:30] on vacation and a few Europeans sprinkled in for good measure. And guess what? No gringos except for me. And believe me it used to be a very strange feeling for me being the sole gringo almost everywhere I went but now I'm used to it and it's great. Anyway at this ancient Mayan city ruin they had a guard at the front gate where the parking lot was of course. And another guard or two in uniform that seemed to be walking the premises. But mostly I think they were just trying to hide. I mean after all that is a big part of any government employee's job description you know? But even without those lazy slugs in uniform the place was absolutely safe. Now it always strikes me funny that the average person who's been down to Central or South

[07:18] America generally planned to hit only the two major archaeological sites. That would be Machu Picchu in Peru and Chichen Itza in Mexico. And I know that Chichen Itza is not anyone's primary destination. The only reason why it's so popular is because it's a side trip from Cancun. So when gringos get bored hanging around the beach too long they hook up with a tour to Chichen Itza because it's a day trip. They can get back to drinking and partying at that all inclusive Cancun hotel by five at night. Now because those two tourist traps are on every gringo's radar. If you were hanging out in one of those central plazas you'd see it was more like Disneyland than anything else. Those places get thousands of tourists a day.

[08:06] Meaning there's pushing and shoving and lines and tempers and kids yelling and litter and overcrowded smelly bathrooms and everything else that goes with hordes of people. But strangely enough there are other equally impressive archaeological sites that are well off the gringo tourist trail and are just a pleasure to visit. Unlike the other two places I just mentioned, which to me and all us long term gringos are basically exercises in dodging ugly American gringos and their whiny Facebook obsessed kids. Needless to say I avoid all that these days and you couldn't pay me to visit those places. Luckily I hit those places 20 some years ago before they were trendy. So again what the average gringo tourist down here in Latin America never realizes is that

[08:51] there are thousands of equally magnificent architectural ruins that you could practically have all to yourself if you just get off the damn gringo tourist trail. Oh and one more thing when you're off the gringo tourist trail and you hit these ruins there won't be hordes of locals pulling on your pant legs in the parking lot trying to get you to buy some tacky souvenirs that were probably made in China. Again when you're at one of these ruins or pyramids off the gringo tourist trail there's so few people coming in and out of the park that it's just not worth it for the local peddlers to hang out there. Oh and one more thing note that throughout Latin America when you go to one of these cultural or archaeological sites there will be two different entrance fees. One for the locals and residents who almost never show up anyway. And one for extranjeros which means people who aren't citizens of a Latin country

[09:40] or residents of that particular country the site is in. Again that's a word you're going to hear extranjero which literally translates to stranger. Extranjero that's you stranger. So for example with that particular archaeological ruin that I visited on Sunday the locals had to pay a whopping 60 cents to get in and us gringos 10 times that. Six bucks. Gringo or foreign or discrimination to be sure but still a hell of a deal at six bucks. Now compare that for example to what it costs to get into Yellowstone park in the states. It's about 25 bucks for parking and 12 bucks an adult to get in. And by the way down here in Latin America the guard taking your entrance fee money

[10:29] is often pulling a scam. Though you'll never pick up on it even if you've got your Spanish down a hundred percent believe me. So how'd I find out about it? Well I saw it in action and from what I've heard guards at parks like that never want to quit that job because they can make two and three times their regular salary on the scam. And here's how it works what they do when a car pulls up is to count the heads in the car and automatically announce the inflated extra nero gringo price. Six bucks in this case. The ticket guy announces the gringo price firmly whether you're a gringo or not. He never bothers to let on that there's a much lower price for residents. And there are always a few local Latins that trickle in and have no idea

[11:14] so they just pony up the higher fee. And if by chance one of the locals is aware of that and opens his mouth of course he'll get the better deal. As long as he's got his driver's license ID card passport or whatever. Now note that the guard has two books of tickets. One ticket is for the stranger the external hero which is the gringo and it's generally in a different color or different size. And then he's got one booklet for local residents who pay 60 cents. So at the end of the day when they tally up the tickets that have been distributed from the books the guard who's always trying to get the gringo price is also trying to give out as many of the cheaper resident tickets to clueless gringos as he can. And in that case we're all clueless because we don't know what's going on.

[12:02] We just take a ticket and walk in and that's it. So in this scam it's the clueless locals that are getting ripped off not us. So that with the end of the day's tally the amount collected is always well over the face value of the tickets that were given out for that day. So at small parks like that where there are only a handful of government workers they're all in on the scam and they all split the extra dough. Nice work if you can get it huh? Oh and by the way this doesn't work on the tourist trail because everything's computerized regarding the ticket operation. At some of those large archaeological and colonial sites you can buy and order tickets in advance online. And of course in these smaller parks where there are only four or five government workers

[12:47] and no computers whatsoever the scam is alive and well. Now another cool thing about visiting one of these giant archaeological sites that's off the tourist trail is that the entrance fees are extremely low compared to the more popular sites like for example Machu Picchu. Even though like in the case I just mentioned we pay six times as much as the locals it's still a great deal. And speaking of Machu Picchu which is a tremendous site believe me world-class and very cool and mystical. However the fact is that place has gotten such a reputation worldwide that they can charge pretty much anything they want and they do. And personally I think it's a ripoff. Get this the very cheapest normal ticket for foreigners like us

[13:34] ex sanjeros remember is 50 bucks. And for locals it's half that but still a ripoff. And by the way though it's posted on the internet and in other places in Peru to be half of the ex sanjero price. I know for sure that locals can sometimes get in for a fifth of that. Just like some of the water taxis throughout Latin America those little lanchas or motor boats you sometimes have to take where roads are bad or non-existent in those cases us gringos and ex sanjeros again will pay a certain price and it may be posted at the dock that the locals pay half or less. But really they're only paying a quarter to a fifth of what we pay because the boat operators have cut deals that we'll never know about.

[14:22] I've seen that happen myself. I've seen it in my face in fact. So anyway for us ex sanjeros foreigners the cheapest ticket into Machu Picchu is 50 bucks. Now remember I said that's the cheapest ticket and it only allows you to enter the site of Machu Picchu itself and it doesn't allow you to climb the mountain which everyone wants to do or see the Machu Picchu Museum. For that you're gonna pay at least 60 bucks or more but you know they figure they've got foreign tourists by the cajones on that one because most people are visiting the place from thousands of miles away and the point of that visit the so-called eighth wonder of the world by some Machu Picchu. And just for your information you guys and gals in Cleveland the eighth wonder of the world is not the St. Louis Arch.

[15:08] Anyway bottom line cheap five dollar a night hotel backpacker types beware. You will get scalped in a way if you go to Machu Picchu but it's even worse in Mexico especially at Chichen Itza. The fact is I've been in and around a lot of the ruins in Mexico. My favorite so far being Tulum by the way. But do look out they've got iguanas there that are bigger than my car. Though the problem is throughout Mexico you got all kind of local vendors shagging you down and pulling on your pants like. Worse yet you know you're on the gringo tourist trail. When street vendors approach you and try to sell you some cheap item and they address you in their best East LA deported illegal alien English. Gringo for you one dollar or one peso.

[15:55] I mean come on how stupid can a gringo be? Well they don't call them clueless gringos for nothing but guess what? Some people actually pay the dollar. Even though they're paying about 13 times as much as they need to pay because a peso is worth about eight US cents. But as a lot of travelers know especially ones who go to Latin America on the tourist trail especially where pretty much everyone takes dollars. Soon enough you end up with a lot of sweat soaked US dollar bills in your pocket and almost no one will change them for a bigger bill. You'll end up with way more US dollar bills in your pocket than you ever would have in your bill fold up in Cleveland. And since up in the States a dollar buys you just about nothing you're almost relieved when you can get rid of them.

[16:41] In fact gringos tell me that carrying a wad of ones up in the States is a nuisance like a pocket full of pennies were back when I was a kid. Man if on a gut level that doesn't tell you something's tragically wrong with the financial system up in the States I don't know what does. Now speaking of scalping gringos at those archaeological sites on the gringo tourist trail like Chichen Itza they actually charge you a couple bucks if you're going to bring a video camera into the place. And though for a while park officials made a ton of money off that now with all these smartphones and stuff that can take video and how discreet and tiny those things can be they're having a hard time monitoring and controlling that. But just to give you an idea how they try to nickel and dime you anyway most clueless gringos actually do fork out the extra couple bucks when they enter the park.

[17:31] Since gringos are noted for following rules and obeying orders. Even stupid ones. And the worst offenders of course are Europeans. They obey every rule and pay every fee too. No matter how idiotic stupid or avoidable. And the worst of course are Germans. They might complain about paying that fee or following orders but they do it. In fact I'll never forget the time a couple years ago. I was in a one horse town in southern Germany in Bavaria. And there I was in the center of the city at two in the morning with only one stop light in the whole town. And there was an old couple, Germans of course, standing there waiting for the light to turn green. Before allowing themselves to walk across the street. Even though it wasn't a single car around for miles.

[18:18] The place was as dead as a ghost town. But obey the crosswalk laws they did. Like good little Germans. Even at two in the morning. And I believe they probably would have done the same thing if they were the last two people on earth. Anyway the funny thing is that Latins. When faced with paying the same couple of buck fee at Chichen Itza. For permission to film or take pictures. They just don't pay it but proceed to take pictures and videos anyway. So then you might ask. Do the park police get into the act and stop from doing that? Or charge them a fine? Nope. This is Latin America and uniformed government park slugs. Are generally spineless and non-confrontational. Which brings me to another point. If you've ever been to Mayan, Incan, Toltec or Aztec ruins.

[19:04] You'll notice signs these days anyway. Stating. Please do not climb the pyramids. Even though of course the pyramids that have been uncovered. Restored or partially restored. Have nice steps leading all the way to the top. Well you know those signs are there for a reason. Because certainly some adolescent kid or even a drunk. Slipped, fell and died and or cracked his or her head open. Now even though those pyramids are in Latin America. So there's no one to sue. Incidents like that can't be good for tourism or PR. So these days anyway. Most pyramids you just can't climb anymore. So when you're at a place like Chichen Itza for example. If you do start climbing. One of those uniformed park slugs will come over and shag you down.

[19:51] However when you're off the Grengo tours trail. At one of the lesser known but also very magnificent archaeological sites. Yes you'll still see the occasional sign that says don't climb the pyramids. But since there'll be almost no one around. Meaning very few uniform park slugs too. Of course what that means is you can if you like. Climb those pyramids like you own the place. Turns out the number of park guards is directly proportional. To the amount of traffic that goes through the place. So even if the archaeological site is huge. There just might be a tiny handful of park guards and attendants. So for example an archaeological site like I went to last Sunday. Which has no more than let's say 50 tourists hanging around at one time.

[20:39] Well even a big site like that with about 50 square blocks. Only had from what I saw three uniformed park slugs. One of them permanently at the parking gate entrance and collecting entrance fees. The other two well doing what government workers do best. Part of the time trying to look regal and important. And the rest of the time hold up somewhere in their favorite hiding place. And that's why at archaeological sites like that well off the tourist trail. In spite of the warning signs you will see Latin visitors scurrying up and down those things. But not Gringos or Europeans. You know those of us who've been whipped into shape by our government. And are afraid of the consequences of getting out of line. Oh and by the way when you're at one of these archaeological sites off the Gringo tourist trail.

[21:27] You'll notice the park usually closes at five. However and I've seen this myself. If you want to get a spectacular photo of the sun setting over a pyramid. Or perhaps you and your friends have your hearts set on sleeping in the park at night. Which some people do and I know some who've done it. Why? To pick up the vibes and the special energy that those places can give out. Or so they say. And of course some people I know have less lofty motives. They just want to be able to tell people they've partied on top of a pyramid all night. Well you'll never be able to get away with that at one of the high volume tourist sites like. Machu Picchu or Chichen Itza. But off the Gringo tourist trail I've seen it done. In fact I know I can do it myself anytime I feel like it.

[22:15] And all it'll take is a wad of those inconvenient one dollar bills stuffed in your pockets. In fact I know a lot of Gringos who pulled off that stunt. During that December 2012 end of the world non-event. Even now when you're off the Gringo tourist trail that is. Turns out that for about 20 bucks or so. Front entrance guard will keep the park open for as long as you want. So again to answer that question I get frequently in emails. Is every Latin government official corrupt? To which I answer. I don't know I haven't met them all yet. But I digress as usual. Where was I? Oh yeah. I mentioned that it's a sure sign you're on the first world Gringo trail. Especially in Mexico. When some local person hawking something says. You could have this or that carving or candy or whatever.

[23:02] For one dollar or one peso. So that's why I guess a lot of clueless Gringos. Just give in and peel off one dollar bills. Instead of digging down in their pockets for those one peso coins. Which are worth about eight US cents. And the fact is if you're traveling through a lot of Latin countries on a single trip. The various funny money monetary units are going to confuse you. You traveling guys and gals know what I'm talking about. You end up with all different kind of bills. And just handful upon handful of all kinds of crazy coins. And believe me when you're on the Gringo tourist trail. The locals know how to take advantage of that. And you know like I said before. I didn't make up the phrase clueless Gringo. It's a well known phrase that had its origins. In places like Costa Rica Cancun and Chichen Itza.

[23:50] You know high volume Gringo tourist areas. But back to that park entrance fee. The Gringo tourist rate versus the local citizen rate discrimination thing. And it's obviously discrimination right? Now up in the states. I know they have resident and non-resident fees for universities. And cheaper senior citizen rates and all that. But I know there's not a 1000% discrepancy like down here in Latin America. Anyway that's yet another reason why it would be advantageous and awfully nice. To get residency and or citizenship in one of these Latin countries. Then when you run into one of those local versus foreigner discrimination things. You just flash your ID and pay the lower rate. Or if you're sneaky you can do what expat Eddie did.

[24:38] Before he got his Salvadoranian residency. He just photoshopped the Salvadoranian license. Had it notarized by a Salvadoranian attorney. And he kept that thing for years folded in the back of his wallet. And it became so ragtag that eventually it fell apart. But like he said over the years it saved him a lot of money. And it allowed him to remain completely off the radar too. Since he went for years without using a US ID at all. Now is that legal? No. But there are lots of long term Gringos down here. Using that technique to effectively remain off the radar. And I mention that because if you remember on a show quite a while ago. I pointed out when I came down here over 20 years ago. That probably up to a quarter of the long term expat Gringos that I met.

[25:23] Had come down to Latin America to escape something or other up in the first world. Whether it was creditors, ex husbands or wives. Bankruptcy, alimony, child support, the IRS, the Vietnam draft. And yes believe it or not. I still on occasion run into a gentrified gray haired old ex hippie who admits to that. So the fact is a lot of long term expats down here. Are truly off the radar. And have been for years. In fact I just recently ran into one of those guys. A Gringo who lived in Mexico for over 10 years illegally. And finally just recently when he had to make a move to get out of Mexico. And head farther south for reasons he didn't disclose. When he tried to take a plane out of Mexico City for Point South.

[26:09] They didn't pick him up or throw him in jail. For overstaying his 90 day visa by 10 plus years. Instead they did what all Latin governments do. They assessed him a daily fine based on the number of days he overstayed his visa. Which is usually between a dollar to two dollars a day. So in his case I think he ended up paying about five or six thousand bucks. Which he forked over at a little government kiosk at the airport. And they were glad to take his cash. No checks please. Then they just wrote a little note on the page in his passport. That he was all paid up and a-okay. And off he went to another Latin country. So for all you guys and gals out there who are worried about overstaying that 90 day visa. There's no reason to get uptight.

[26:57] In fact I've got it unofficially from the horse's mouth. That they prefer that we first world folks overstay our views. So that way not only do we spend more time and more money in the country. We pay a little fine as we leave. Makes sense doesn't it? But back to that business of photoshopping a driver's license or whatever. Now I'm not advocating any of that. I'm just saying some people do it. In fact I'd say that Latin America and perhaps Africa are the only places left in the world. That you can get away with something like that for years even decades. So yes that stuff still goes on and now you know. You've been listening to The Expat Files. Living in Latin America. Coming to you twice a week from somewhere south of the border.

[27:43] Email me the expatfiles at gmail.com. And don't forget to check out expatwisdom.com to sign up for your free reports on Latin America. See you next time. Nos vemos.