#377 – The Expat Files: Nicaragua’s Canal, Gringos, and Cultural Nuances

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:14] Hello there all you expat wannabes, I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to The Expat Files, living in Latin America. The show that tells you just what it's like to live, work, play and or retire down here in Latin America. It's a mix of the good, the bad, the ugly and the great and it's all right here so let's get started. Now on the last show we left off talking about the impact of that supposed new second canal in Central America set to go through Nicaragua. So what about the impact it's going to have on the local environment and what about gringos living there or who are thinking about moving in? And then what's going to become of Lake Nicaragua itself, the largest freshwater lake in Central America which is an absolute integral part of the new canal if it goes through because

[00:59] by using it as a waterway they'll cut the length of the canal by 60 or 70 miles. So once those big boats hit that lake no walls or canals or sluice ways will have to be built. And though it looks like a great plan it's not as easy as it sounds and I'll get to that in a second. So anyway the plan is when those big boats hit the other side of the lake then they'll be directed once again into narrow preformed canals similar to the ones in the Panama Canal. However like I said in the last show when an estimated 15,000 container ships are passing through that freshwater lake every year their effect on the already very polluted Lake Nicaragua is said to be by people in the know an environmental time bomb.

[01:45] But is it? Well no one really knows what the effect will be and to what degree but as one first world biologist with boots on the ground down there put it it's an experiment on a grand scale that's never been tried before. It's not just they expect 15,000 giant container ships a year motoring through that lake. It's also been estimated that within five years the population centers around the lake will double. And as I pointed out on the last show the human population around the lake right now has already pretty much turned the lake into what some biologists call the world's biggest toilet. So what's doubling the population around that lake going to do? I hate to think about it, yuck. But I want you to think about it all you expat, guanabes and wannabes up there sitting

[02:33] in Milwaukee and Cleveland and Danville and Cucamonga. Nope I didn't make that up there really is a Cucamonga and it's in California. So all you adventure seekers are you ready to settle down there in Nicaragua hoping that if you get in early enough that second canal will assure your fortune. Talk about throwing the dice. Now I mentioned a second ago that a third of the trip will be through Lake Nicaragua. But don't think when those big container ships hit the lake that they'll just be able to spread out, get some breathing room and scoot right across. No way. It's not that simple because the average depth of Lake Nicaragua is 50 feet and the proposed canal depth is 90 feet deep. That means where the canal is slated to be, the entire width of the lake about 60 to 70

[03:22] miles has to be dredged down to 90 feet. And that's another reason why this canal will be triple the maintenance of the Panama Canal simply because they'll have to have dredgers working 24-7 year round. If you live near a harbor you know they have to be continuously maintained and dredged. Okay so what you say? Well consider this. Where is all that mud and silt going to go after the dredging? No one's quite figured that out yet. For one thing it can't go back into the lake. Engineers already know that. I mean talk about screwing up the local ecosystems. That's an understatement. When you do the numbers the amount that's got to be dumped somewhere is staggering. Think of it. 60 or 70 miles to be dredged 40 or 50 feet deep by a minimum 300 feet wide.

[04:12] That works out to over 200 million yards of sludge and dirt and rocks that'll have to be moved somewhere. And to put that in perspective, that's four times the volume of the lava, dirt, dust and soot that blew off when Mount St. Helens erupted. And if you remember the photos, a third of the mountain was gone after the eruption. So about four times that is just the volume that'll be dredged out of Lake Nicaragua. That's not even counting the dirt, soil and rock that's going to be dredged from the dry land portions of the canal. Though that stuff will be much easier to get rid of because you pay the local farmers and landowners etc. to relocate the stuff on adjacent sites. Now when you think about it, maybe that's the best, easiest and simplest expat business

[05:00] idea of all. You buy some desolate cheap land on the other side of the lake and you charge the canal authority by the ton to dump it there. If you didn't get that, here it is again. Buy some crappy useless land, get a landfill permit which is easy to get, then play king of the sandbox and hope the checks don't bounce. So bottom line, where do I think the chances are that this thing is going to get off the ground? Well, I think it'll get off the ground alright. I mean look, the Chinese seem to have bottomless pits of money so it'll probably get off to a roaring start but I'll put money on it that they never finish the thing. And as one Nicaraguan buddy of mine told me, he said, look, if they start the project and they put let's say 50,000 Nicaraguans to work and they stop in midstream for whatever

[05:49] reason you're going to have 50,000 very pissed off unemployed Nicaraguan workers mostly hanging out on the shores of Lake Nicaragua. Is that where you want to be located? And another thing, as this project gets going, you can expect gringo prices all the way because money's just going to flood into that area. You can be sure it won't be Yuan, but dollars. All the machinery, tools and a lot of the supplies that come in are going to have to be bought or shipped from outside Central America. So far, I know of no banks in Latin America. That lets you open an account in one, just in dollars, euros or the local funny money. And in Nicaragua, it's the Cordoba, which right now is running an exchange rate of about 25 to the dollar.

[06:37] Oh, and I would be remiss if I didn't give you expat Eddie's take on this canal thing. He's got a lot of boots on the ground in Nicaragua and he says, at least one thing is bound to happen. When that canal starts construction, for once he says, Latin America will finally have some good Chinese restaurants. Now Eddie, being a smart restaurant operator himself, says he's got no plans to expand his restaurants into the proposed canal zone. He thinks it'll be a short boom and a long bust. Okay, so there you have it. Don't ever say you weren't warned. Now I know many, many shows ago I answered a few questions, emails, that is, from people asking me if the term gringo used by Latins isn't just a bit derogatory. And you long time listeners with better memories than I have might recall I mentioned like

[07:28] any word you use. It's all in the context and the intonation. For example, if someone says, hey gringo, que honda, which means what's happening gringo, in a glad to meet you kind of way. And you hear greetings like that a lot when you're off the gringo tourist trail. In fact, off the tourist trail you almost never hear it any other way. That, as opposed to hearing how a Latin person you first meet greets you like this, hmm, to add is gringo, meaning you're a gringo, huh? A more neutral or even negative connotation which you hear a lot when you're on the gringo tourist trail like in Panama, Cancun, or Costa Rica. If you know you're Spanish a bit and you hear it said like that, you get the feeling that they're saying, ugh, another gringo. Like they've had just about enough of us gringos piling into their country and by

[08:17] the tone you get the feeling they'd just rather us stay home and send dollars and donations if you please. And you know, after living in Costa Rica for a couple years, then Panama, I have to say I've seen and heard that from the locals a thousand times, though in some ways you can hardly blame them. You have to look at it from their point of view. What would happen if, for example, in Detroit, now that it's bankrupt and falling apart, suddenly the Chinese and the Koreans and the Pakistanis came in and bought up all the land and started restructuring and rebuilding the place according to their desires. Wait a minute, sorry, I said what if? That's actually happening already, believe me. In fact, one of the guys who attended one of my seminars as a Pakistani guy, who's in Detroit and doing exactly that, he's buying up distressed bankrupt properties

[09:05] for a buck to a hundred bucks apiece, buying whole blocks and subdivisions in ghettoized war zones, and he's reselling them on the internet and in newspaper ads to middle-class people in Europe who want their own piece of the United States because they see Europe crumbling. So our young Pakistani friend, who came to the US when he was, I think, 11 years old, by the way, is making his millions off a distressed Detroit. But I digress, you don't want to hear about that. You want to hear about Latin America, right? Then again, maybe you want to know why a Pakistani guy living in Detroit would come down to my expat wisdom seminar in Latin America. Well, someday I'll tell you, but not right now. Anyway, the point is, if you were a Detroit native and you saw the

[09:52] Chinese and the Koreans and the Pakistanis coming in, snapping up whole neighborhoods full of distressed properties and improving things a bit along the way, I'm sure you'd be happy at first, maybe even overjoyed. At first. But as with gringos who flooded places like Panama, Costa Rica and Cancun, soon enough, the natives build up varying degrees of resentment to those foreign intrusions, even though they're good for the economy and perhaps even provided jobs and even raised the standard of living quite a bit. And that's why when talking about the strength of the gringo advantage when you're off the tourist trail, when there's not many gringos around, you're treated like a favored, even honored guest. Whereas when we start piling into places like Cancun and Costa Rica,

[10:39] we have a way of forcing ourselves and our habits on a local population and we always drive up the cost of living, sometimes all the way up to first world levels and beyond. So look at it this way. We do provide jobs, but most of those jobs never pay enough for the locals to live like we do, so there's that built-in envy and resentment. Of course, you don't see that with all the locals naturally, but enough, if you live down here long enough and know you're Spanish, for you to pick up on. Though remember, like I said, off the gringo tourist trail, there's so few of us that, except for the occasional gringo dickhead, and I've met my share of those, believe me. It's very difficult to wear out your welcome or diminish your gringo advantage, which brings me to the point of this babbling rant.

[11:26] Now here's a little sociological observation that I just picked up on recently, and I've been down here a hell of a long time, which obviously means things change all the time. I'm not the expert, no one is, and if someone tries to tell you they are, they're full of, well, pre-holies. Anyway, here's what I recently discovered. If you're invited to a formal or upscale event, I'm talking about an event given for or by the local Latin contingent, and you happen to get invited. At formal events like quinceaño parties and weddings, people who don't know you very well will not refer to you as a gringo. Instead, they'll refer to you as an Americano. American. Not a Norte Americano, North American, just an Americano.

[12:13] Even though Latin Americans are Americanos too, only they're central Americanos or sur Americanos. However, they never bring up that distinction. A Americano is reserved for us gringos. So understand, that's the formal term for gringo. So what I'm saying is, when you're on the street and in informal situations, you'll be introduced as a gringo. But at formal events, often you'll hear a maricano as a gesture of respect. And by the way, Latin Americans don't distinguish between African Americans, Asian Americans, Irish Americans, Italian Americans, or any hyphenated ethnic name for us gringos or North Americans. However, when talking about native North American Indians,

[13:01] it's a different story because in Latin America, they have many indigenous tribes. So to distinguish Latin American indigenous tribes from native North Americans, Latins refer to ours as indios a maricanos. Which by the way, we all know is a misnomer because they're really not Indians. And by the way, down here in Latin America, if you ask a man on the street, what he or she thinks the difference is between a Latin American indigenous person and a US or Canadian indigenous person, you'll almost always get the same answers. They'll say indios a maricanos are much taller and much angrier than our indigenous people. They'll say son ino hados, radad. They're angry, right? Not that anyone down here has ever met one.

[13:48] Personally, I don't know any Latin American person who has. Although Latin folks down here, they've seen all the Clint Eastwood in the John Wayne movies. So all they know is the Hollywood version. And another thing regarding that Norte a maricano business, the more formal phrase sometimes used when talking about gringos. When eavesdropping on kitchen table conversations between maids and regular Latin folks. And by the way, once you've got your Spanish down, you'll be eavesdropping a lot. Anyway, I've heard maids and gardeners telling their friends and acquaintances that they work for not a gringo, but an a maricano. They use the more formal term. The term they feel is more respectful to the boss man or woman, a maricano. Now, even though nearly all a maricanos that I know refer to ourselves as gringos,

[14:37] we never come out and say in conversation, he, she, or whoever isn't a maricano or Norte a maricano. We always say he's a gringo or she's a gringo. For us, there's no shame in it at all. Though I bet you a Bitcoin, if you pick up any Latin American newspaper, you'll never see the word gringo spelled out unless it's a joke or a put on. They'll always say Norte a maricano or Estado Unidense, which means United States citizen. And believe me, that's a tough one for us gringos to say. Estado Unidense. Every one of us gringos stumbles over that one at first. It took me a long time too. So in the Latin papers when there's a gringo mentioned in the article for whatever reason, could be in the international news section,

[15:23] or a gringo involved in some kind of local crime or whatever, they'll never say gringo, they'll say Estado Unidense. And by the way, a lot of us expats when we get down here and start reading the paper, we notice gringos occasionally get caught up in things like kiddie porn or in the drug trade. In fact, one expat who's been down here a long time recently said to me, Johnny, you know, it seems like there's almost as many gringos caught in the porn and the sex trade down here than Catholic priests. So why is that? Well, it's because down here in Latin America, they've got such lax law enforcement. And if you get caught for anything, it's so easy to bribe your way out of it, that crooked and perverted gringos know they can get away with a hell of a lot more down here

[16:09] than they ever could if they pulled that kind of crap up in the States. So Latin America does attract a lot of bad guys from up north, but I digress. So let's get back to that Norte Americano subject. Here's something that surprises some people. In the case of gringos and gringas living down here, who hook up with a Latino or Latina as boyfriend or girlfriend or husband and wife, et cetera, your Latin other half will always refer to you when speaking to others as an Americano, not a gringa or a gringo. In fact, more than once I've been sitting around in a Latin home listening to an older Latin person, someone I'd just met. Then after seeing I was a gringo, of course, and breaking the ice, they'd inevitably end up telling me about someone in the family,

[16:57] a niece or nephew or son or daughter that was married to her going with an Americano, not a gringo and a maricano. So you've got the formal and the informal versions. Like for example, referring to a child as a kid, you know, how many kids do you have versus how many children do you have? Same thing goes for Latin America. Someone will say my niños, mis niños, which is formal, or informally mis patojas, meaning my kids. But you won't see the word patoha in the newspaper. It's only said in common conversation. So all you want to be isn't going to be is when you get down here, what are you going to be? A gringo or a maricano. Well, depending on the circumstances, you'll be both.

[17:43] Or neither if you happen to be Native American. And here's something else you just might find amusing. Throughout Latin America, Latin Americans recognize backpacking gringos as not gringos or maricanos, but backpuckers. Yep, they've actually adopted our English word for it. Backpuckers. As if they're a different breed altogether, which they very well might be. Who knows? In fact, some time ago, I was looking for a certain backpacker hotel in San Pedro Sula, Honduras, which is a pretty big city, close to a million people. I was supposed to meet one of these guys, a backpacker. But when I got to the neighborhood, I couldn't find a place. So I walked into a real hotel, one that had bathrooms for each room, and I asked the Latin at the desk if he knew where the backpacker hostel was.

[18:32] He said yes, but apparently he didn't because he sent me on a wild goose chase. And though I may have mentioned it before on a past show, I'll say it again. Latins like to be helpful, especially when it's a gringo that's asking. Even if they don't know what they're talking about, they'll give it their best guess. Rather than say they don't know and look stupid, they'll send you down the wrong street. Not intentionally, of course, they're just trying to be nice. So if you're down here, don't blow a gasket if it happens to you. And it will. Now, ex-pat Eddie always says, it's no good giving out with an educated guess if you're not educated. But logic like that doesn't work down here in Latin America. Oh well, so there I was in San Pedro Sula getting the runaround, looking for that elusive backpacker hostel.

[19:20] So after that first set of bad directions and wandering around aimlessly for about a half an hour, I ran into a decently dressed gringo who obviously wasn't a backpacker and asked him if he knew where the backpacker hotel was. And he said, yeah, walk up two blocks, take a right, go down about a half a block and you can smell it from there. Which kind of gives you the idea that there is some snobbery and elitism going on even within the gringo community. But in this case, he was half right and I was half wrong. Naturally, when he gave that description, something disgusting like 10 sweaty backpackers to a room flashed across my mind, sharing beds, bedbugs and bacteria and one bathroom between them. And yep, he wasn't kidding about the smell. But sure smelled all right, but didn't smell of locker room or BO or fresh ass.

[20:09] It smelled like Snoop Dogg and Willie Nelson were supercharging a Bob Marley sampler. Oh and by the way, as you've noticed, I always kind of rip on backpacker hotels and backpackers in general. Not because they're bad people, just the opposite. They're almost always very nice. On the other hand, the ones that are on the road for more than a month at a time can often be clueless and have bad hygiene. So you be the judge to each his own, huh? But you know, I did find out just recently why some backpacker hotels throughout Latin America, in fact, throughout the world are so damn popular. In fact, a certain few in every city are always full. Then you can't just show up. You have to reserve them in advance on the internet, even though they're only 10 to 20 bucks a night. While other nearby hostels in the same area almost always have vacancies.

[21:00] Well, it turns out the top two or three rated on the TripAdvisor, you've probably seen that website, right? And I'm sure you've seen that TripAdvisor sticker on hotels and restaurants and such. It's kind of like the world traveler's good housekeeping seal of approval. Anyway, the top two or three rated youth hostels in Latin America, rated by the TripAdvisor, just happened to be the ones that the vast majority of young European female backpackers prefer to stay at. Since when they're rated highlight that by TripAdvisor, they're considered safe, clean, or clean enough, and located in decent areas. Bottom line, they're the ones that have a long track record of good positive reports. Just the kind of places that calm the nerves of parents

[21:48] of the young European female backpacking crowd. So then ask yourself what young male backpacker type wouldn't want to stay in a place like that too. That said, here's another little bit of information you might want to pack away for future reference, especially if you're in and around Central America. Now, you know that throughout Latin America, people from the different countries call each other by nicknames. For example, Costa Ricans are known as ticos or ticas, male and female, and Guatemalans, Japins or Japinas, male or female, et cetera, et cetera. In fact, all 20 Latin countries have their personal nicknames for each other. Now, in Central America, people from Nicaragua are called nicas. If you've ever been down to Central America,

[22:35] you probably heard that term, especially if you've been in Costa Rica. And you'll hear it, of course, in Nicaragua too. People say it all the time, but it's not quite well received. In reality, it's a huge social gaffe. Now, I learned that term and heard it over and over again in Costa Rica, from the Costa Rican people. And by the way, as I mentioned in the past, Nicaraguans are considered second-class citizens when they're in Costa Rica, primarily because they're considered uneducated hayseeds, and secondarily because they're almost all illegally in the country. So, like I said, Costa Ricans refer to them as nicas. However, you won't hear the Nicaraguans there referring to themselves as nicas. They'll say, Nicaraguense.

[23:22] Now, you see, hundreds of thousands of Nicaraguans have flooded into Costa Rica illegally. And why not? Nicaragua is a poor agricultural country in Costa Rica. It's loaded with gringo dollars and first-world projects. And it's got a minimum wage almost three times higher than the minimum wage in Nicaragua. Not that Nicaraguans working in Costa Rica are on the books and can make that minimum wage. The fact is, nearly all of them are working for cash. So, they're not making minimum wage. By the way, I knew a lot of Nicaraguan day laborers in Costa Rica, and most of them had this grand idea that somehow, somewhere, they were going to marry a Costa Rican, thus get legal residence, etc., and therefore make minimum wage or better.

[24:11] Does that sound familiar to you? It should. Not to mention, get on the Costa Rican social security system and free healthcare system, too. Even though, as gringos, by the way, know, the Costa Rican public healthcare system absolutely sucks. I've been there. They've got four-hour lines at the public hospitals, but you can always buy your way to the front of the line if you got a few bucks. That said, it's probably three or four times better than the public health system in Nicaragua. Anyway, like I said, the goal for many Nicaraguans is to escape to Costa Rica, and once they get there, they hold down most of the menial jobs that Costa Ricans won't work, like maids, gardeners, etc. Now, note that Nicaraguans don't refer to themselves as Nicas. They refer to themselves as Nicaraguensis, Nicaraguensis.

[25:00] Now, I'll admit, that's a very tough word for gringos to pronounce. That's why, generally, from day one, we end up calling them Nicas. Just like everyone else in Latin America does. Why not? Well, I'll tell you why not. Little do gringos know, in fact, 98% of us don't know, that the common term Nica is a backhanded insult. Because, you see, throughout Latin America, the word Nica, N-I-C-A, is a slang term for, get this, a hospital bedpan. You know, that metal or plastic thing that catches leaks and dribbles from uncontrolled human orifices. So, just remember that. When you use the word Nica, which I hear gringos using all the time, it is, and has always been, an insult to Nicaraguans. But how are we supposed to know that?

[25:48] Especially when we hear other Latin Americans and gringos living down here using it all the time. Now, luckily, Nicaraguans are rather reserved and humble. And they realize that the rest of Latin America view their country as low men on the totem pole. So, they just have to grin and bear it. And you know, I have noticed that Nicaraguans who travel a lot, the ones that are generally upper middle class and above, they do have a slight inferiority complex. In fact, over the years, I've known a few people from Nicaragua, and some of them, when you ask them where they're from, they'll pick another country like Costa Rica, Cuba, or even the Dominican Republic. I suppose it's like someone from Cleveland saying he's from Detroit. Nah, in second thought, that wouldn't fly. However, personally, if I was from Washington, DC,

[26:34] I'd lie and say I was from Nicaragua. Anyway, because of that constant low man on the totem pole thing, a Nicaraguan traveler just might say in conversation that he's from another country. In fact, I've seen that happen to myself. However, within Nicaragua, you won't find that. They're all patriotic, nationalistic, and just love their country. Just as all Latin Americans are obsessively patriotic about their countries. Even people who are dirt poor and live in a tin shack in an absolute hellhole are super patriots, which begs the question, why then does everyone say they want to move to the United States? Or in the case of Nicaraguans, move or sneak in to Costa Rica. Go figure, huh? But now that gringo retirement rags and international living are pumping up Nicaragua,

[27:22] and the news is now all over the place that they're going to build a canal to compete with the Panama Canal. With all that going down, it's a good bet that Nicaraguan self-esteem is on the rise. You've been listening to The Expat Files, living in Latin America, coming to you twice a week from somewhere south of the border. Email me, theexpatfiles at gmail.com. And don't forget to check out expatwisdom.com to sign up for your free reports on Latin America. See you next time. Nos vemos.