#309 – The Expat Files: Life in Latin America, TV, and Cultural Shifts

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America the show that tells you just what it's like to live Work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Okay, before I start again, I'd like to keep you informed about my latest expat wisdom seminar in January 2014 So it's not to bore you guys and gals who've already signed up. I'm only gonna make this about 15 seconds So just go to expat wisdom calm and click on the Latin American seminar link for full details

[00:50] I hope to see you there and I know you'll like it In fact every time I do one of these things some of the people that come down actually never leave and that's the truth In fact, you're gonna meet some of them if you come on down to the seminar So how are you gonna do that? Well, I invite past attendees to tag along on the boots on the ground portion And they're also invited when we hang around at the restaurants and stuff So you can find out from the horse's mouth just what the transition was like for them You don't have to take my word for it. You can ask them So again go to expat wisdom calm click on the Latin seminar link and get the full details I guarantee if you come down for the seminar You'll get at least a two-year head start on being coming in expat In fact, a lot of attendees say it's more like a five-year head start So what kind of a head start will you get if you take my seminar?

[01:36] That's another question you can ask one of my past attendees who are living down here right now who you'll meet and mingle with at the seminar Anyway to continue with what I left off with on the last show I was talking about how as opposed to 20 something years ago when I first got down here the people that were the heroic Iconic figures back then have changed quite a bit when I came down It was Castro and even more so Che Guevara who were the biggest t-shirt and poster icons in Latin America Besides Bob Marley and the Mickey Mouse figures. Those were the symbols that kids clung to a generation ago But now these days like kids everywhere They're absorbed in their cell phones the internet cable TV Facebook and Twitter They could give a damn about Che just like no young kids these days give a damn about Michael Jackson or Madonna either

[02:23] You know these days kids have the memory and the attention span of a nice long sneeze if that Thus Castro's and Che's images have practically disappeared Oh, that's not to say when you go into a t-shirt store or a tourist area You won't see the obligatory che t-shirt hanging with a hundred other t-shirts and coffee mugs You know the flavors of the moment and by the way, here's a good Spanish word that you should know Moda mo da it means something that's in fashion So for example, the Kardashians are la Moda and so is the Walking Dead Wait a minute the Kardashians and the Walking Dead. They're the same show, right? And yes, unfortunately, both of those shows are seen all over Latin America either Subtitled or translated into Spanish, too

[03:09] And by the way, if you have very few hobbies and interests and you come down to Latin America and want to see those shows There's generally about a year's lag time in the sequence because you know the big Latin American Syndication groups will buy a whole season's worth of shows and then translate them and re-show them here And here's another thing you should know about TV down here Every big medium and small town has a number of cable TV operators And each one has a basic cable package plan of about 20 or 30 stations and for the cheapest basic service 95% of those channels will be Latin local or syndicated Latin stations in Spanish And that'll cost you anywhere from 10 to maybe 15 bucks a month That's the basic package and then they'll have a deluxe package that you pay another 10 bucks a month for and now you've got maybe

[03:59] 50 or 60 channels with a few American channels thrown in like TNT CNN History the Learning Channel National Geographic and maybe even one or two of the big network stations coming out of Dallas or Miami or LA or even get this Minneapolis and you know, it's kind of funny you'll be sitting in La Paz Bolivia or San Pedro Sula Honduras and you'll flick through the channels and you'll be looking at the weather Delivered in English by the Channel 6 Little Rock Arkansas weather lady a CBS affiliate No less in English in real time now I don't know how they pick up these odd American channels like that But believe me once in a while when you're flicking through the channels You just have to stop and stare when you see a commercial for some used car dealer out of Tennessee Trying to get you to come to his dealership for the big weekend blowout sale

[04:47] Which for you is only about 3,000 miles and four time zones away, but you know, this is Latin America I Kind of get the feeling that some of these local Latin cable companies pick this signal right off a satellite Just to fill out the roster and claim they have more stations So is that illegal probably but I hardly doubt the lawyers from Channel 6 and Little Rock are gonna sue some network in Bolivia Anyway, if you don't want basic cable and you opt for the more deluxe cable package, you'll get a lot more channels in English normally, you'll get about five maybe ten channels in English and Probably none of the ones you want. However down here in every medium small and large city You can buy satellite cable TV, too And when you're in a big city, they'll be up to a half a dozen satellite TV companies offering that

[05:33] Now if you hook up with them Some of them will let you pick and choose your American stations in English Others will come prepackaged with a lot of first-world English channels thrown in for example a few weeks ago I was at a Latin tourist town This is a town that has almost all Latin tourists and very few first-world ones The gringo masses haven't found it yet, which is a good thing. Just the way so many of us long-term expats like it anyway, the hotel TV had satellite of course and there must have been a hundred and thirty stations and at least 30 to 35 stations coming straight from the US in English and for me this time it was kind of a strange experience because Just occasionally when I'm sitting around and people are watching TV and they ask me what I'd like to watch Which is pretty much nothing in Spanish. Well, anyway when pushed sometimes I'll watch that show pawn stars

[06:23] You know the pawn shop guys on the history channel. I guess it's a pretty big thing in the States Anyway, the reason why I will select that show when asked is because I know that down here in Latin America They just do not have pawn shops like that And I really think in a medium or large-sized Latin city an expat could really do gangbusters opening a place like that for pennies compared to what it would cost to do up in the first world because remember when I mentioned in the past show there Are a lot of hidden treasures here in Latin America stuck away in people's garages and attics and folks down here have no idea What antiques are worth they rarely use the internet to check on prices for anything like that In fact, I think in time if you open up a pawn shop You'd end up shipping a lot of the stuff back to the states because that's where the market is for a lot of the cool Antiques which down here it seems most people have no use for to them. It's just old junk

[07:14] Anyway, a subject like that deserves a whole show and I'll get to that in the future But as for now, I'll just mention I'm not necessarily gonna open a pawn shop down here But I've always toyed with the idea in my head because I think it would be a great expat business Of course, it would have to be modified a bit for Latin customers naturally because of the lag time effect and all anyway Let's just say I have a more than passing interest in the pawn shop thing because I'm always scouting new ways for expats to make Businesses down here. So aside from the expat business angle. Why am I bringing this up? Well get this the other week when I was at that hotel in San Pedro Sula, Honduras with all those satellite TV channels in English Well, I got a little unexpected treat for the very first time in my life I got to hear what those pawn shop guys voices actually sounded like in English

[08:04] Because every time I've caught that program down here in Latin America, it's been dubbed in Spanish So the whole thing was kind of a weird experience for me if you know what I mean hard to get used to actually So anyway, if you're one who's addicted to TV to continue on with your addiction down here and not feel left out You just have to sign up with one of the big satellite companies because if you only have cable you'll be disappointed Even if your Spanish is perfect bottom line skip the cable and get the satellite However down here if you're renting up to half of the rental contracts I've seen include cable TV It comes free along with your rent and that's because many times your apartment complex will have a cable feed in and basically Everyone in your complex ends up stealing it meaning there's only one line in and the entire

[08:50] Complex is only paying the single customer charge and everyone in your complex knows that but no one's talking Neither is your apartment manager In fact, just recently a new expat friend of mine who came to one of my seminars and who is now living here permanently Just a few weeks ago. He signed a six-month apartment contract He now has a very nice apartment for only three hundred fifty dollars a month and that included water maintenance and garbage pickup And it's a guarded community. So his three hundred fifty dollars a month rent covers not only his apartment But his share of the 24-7 guard expenses too. And of course, he's got free cable TV What a deal, huh? Three bedrooms three baths includes maintenance and all utilities except the electric bill and free cable TV

[09:37] Then when my new expat friend said to the apartment manager I'd like to get my own cable line run in here so I can have high-speed cable internet, too Then the apartment manager told him well, you know, if you do that There's a good chance everyone in the building which had about 12 units Will lose their free cable and my expat friend said what are you talking about? Well, the manager said everyone at the complex has been getting free cable for years But if someone calls up the cable company and try to get internet out of them The installer is gonna come around and snoop and he's gonna see everyone's getting free cable And that'll be the end of it for all of us then we'll have to pay So anyway, that's the dilemma that my friends in right now He wants the high-speed internet, but he doesn't want to piss off everyone in the complex And by the way, you might be wondering what happens when the cable company finds out an entire complex like that has been getting free

[10:28] Cable TV for years. So what happens when you get caught? Well in a word absolutely nothing. Okay. Well, that's two words Anyway, there's no hand slapping scolding lawsuits fines or punishments The fact is stealing cable is such a common occurrence down here that cable companies and cable installers Just shrug their shoulders and say well, eventually we'll get them and they'll pay and about those cable installers They're the ones that'll hook you up on the weekend for free if you have to slip my 20 But with fiber optics high-speed internet Wi-Fi and stuff the times they are a changin But since this is Latin America, there's a gray market for everything and there's always an angle Okay back to what I said about expats who really love their TV Especially you guys who love sports. You really have to get a satellite hookup and what'll that cost?

[11:18] Well, they often run specials where they'll do the installation for nothing And if you want the full cable package It might cost you 35 to 45 bucks a month and you'll have well over a hundred stations And if you don't catch them when they're offering a free hookup deal It might cost you another 50 bucks for the satellite in the box Then of course, it's not your satellite It's theirs you're just renting it on a contract basis and you have to sign a contract for at least one year And that's another case where you're going to need your lawyer to cosign for you down here They call it a Theodore the word sounds just like Theodore, but with an F now your lawyer your Theodore Just because he signs the contract alongside you he's not responsible for your bill if you don't pay He's got limited liability and he's only given you a personal reference Which is another reason when you find a good lawyer to remain with him for all the little things like that. You'll need to use them for

[12:10] Now even though you're kind of renting the dish and the box you don't pay rent You just pay a one-time installation charge and they run specials a few times a year so that can be free Unlike 10 15 or 20 years ago when a satellite dish was a huge investment sometimes over a grand Because you had to buy all the hardware yourself And back then dishes were these gigantic ugly monstrosities I'm sure you remember those not like the ones you see today. They're barely bigger than a frisbee In fact, I have a lot of expat friends who did that way back when before the big cell phone companies came in and started Partnering up with international satellite and telecommunication companies and offering that kind of service So the shrinking of the satellite hardware and a ridiculously low prices compared to just a few years ago

[12:58] Has been a huge boon. In fact kind of like winning the lottery for expats Especially sports fans who love their first world tv And if you're not in a city and you're living on a farm or a single piece of land way out in the boonies Outside of a subdivision where there's cable satellite tv is the only way to go you can get the basic satellite service for around 20 bucks a month and that'll still get you like 40 or 50 channels And the reason why i'm bringing this up right now is because a lot of people who come down to latin america for the first time Do occasionally complain about the lack of tv choices down here in english Well, I found that in nearly all of those cases is because the hotel or apartment complex therein has a cable hookup Not a satellite dish. So naturally with a straight direct cable hookup

[13:46] You're only going to get about five to ten percent of your channels in english So my advice especially i'll use sports fans out there Go with the satellite company and by the way, I understand that some of you folks up in the states Get your tv right over your internet cable now or on your smartphone Well, if you got pretty fast internet down here, you can do that, too So when you come down here tv will not be a big issue for you You've got plenty of choices. You just have to ask around and you'll find it's a lot cheaper than tv up in the first world Either way you're covered Oh and one more thing if you're on the tourist trail in costa rica panama or kang kun For example, you can bet your hotel room or apartment is going to have a wide variety of first world tv channels Because they already went through the growing pains of a lot of gringos complaining many many years ago

[14:35] And tourist areas were the first ones to get the satellite tv franchises But now they're down here in every country So don't worry about a thing and yes in case you were wondering HDtv is here, too In fact all the big appliance stores have the latest models in 3d tv and hd tv And of course, as you probably know any flat screen tv you buy is set up for high definition and speaking of 3d tv You know the ones that cost about four times as much as the last flat screen tv you bought Yep, they're down here, too But the locals just can't afford them and the only place I ever see them are on the display floors in those appliance stores So the fact is if you have a flat screen tv, it's all set up for high definition

[15:20] But are the channels being broadcast in high definition? That's the key Well, they do have state-of-the-art cable and satellite tv, of course All the first world channels are broadcast in hd tv The latin channels in spanish the ones we first worlders don't give a damn about in the first place Better broadcast in the old format, which is no more than they deserve because they're production values news people actors announcers And all the programming you see on latin tv to us. Anyway, who are used to high production values It's an embarrassing joke In fact your average first world av department in a high school could do better now. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying that up in the first world the intellectual content of your average programming is stellar Not by a long shot after all like in a toilet the biggest chunks float to the top

[16:09] Need I mention jersey shore or ghost hunters or kardashians again? Anyway, i'm just saying that in the first world the production values and standards are light years ahead of anything down here And you know what there just doesn't seem to be any way to elevate latin programming The people seem to love their shows moronic badly acted and sexy with a heavy emphasis on the sex to counterbalance the macho and moronic I guess you just have to see it to believe it and speaking of seeing is believing here's something else I bet you never knew when you're down here deep in the heart of latin america And you happen to be crashing in a house or apartment or a hotel room or whatever that has the full boat satellite subscription service Well, if you're an insomniac sitting in bed at one in the morning flicking through the 200 plus channels chances

[16:58] Are you going to come across two very strange channels? No, i'm not talking about those 24 7 latin soap opera channels called the telenovela stations sure They're strange enough being that half the women in latin america are totally addicted to them Not to mention a hundred percent of the cleaning ladies Anyway, the two strange stations i'm talking about are one a latin american tv station That's completely based out of miami. That's funded owned and operated completely by cuban americans It's kind of like a cuban el jazeera specifically targeted at cubans all over the world Kind of loosely uniting them to the motherland cuba to which they all hope to go back to someday after the castro brothers Give up the ghost now. I have to tell you that this station is first world in every respect

[17:45] Except that it's completely in spanish and all about cuban exiles and cubans who've immigrated to the states And the show highlights cuban americans mostly in and around florida Specifically miami where the show originates from and naturally since it is based in the first world It does have high production values and it's pretty slick and glossy And you know cubans of all latin americans that have left the homeland They are by far in the highest socio-economic group and the most industrious So how can anyone prove that? Well, the fact is cuban americans actually have a much higher median income than do average white-bred caucasian americans And if you've ever talked to one of these guys in the states To a person they all really do hope to get back to cuba and regain their homeland and their property

[18:33] And all the things they lost including their freedoms in the cuban revolution So what i'm saying is there's this internationally broadcast station in spanish that's coming out of miami specifically for cubans But there's a second strange channel you'll encounter when you're down here in latin america Surfing your remote on a tv system. That's got 200 or more satellite channels And that's also a slick glossy channel with high production values coming out of the us Completely in spanish too and that channel is targeted to all latin americans south of the border Who've got an illegal relative or two or three or five? Up in the states and down here in latin america. It's hard to find someone who doesn't So this spanish station out of the us is a feel-good highly propagandized station showing a wide variety of

[19:25] Hardworking latin immigrants up in the states living and breathing that so-called american dream And of course as you might imagine a station like this highlights all the social advantages and government freebies You can get while living up in the states that are simply unavailable south of the border So the station has various on the street news segments and many many personal profiles that spotlight your basic Immigrant latin american working up north all smiles and fat and happy now that they've reached the promised land So the station has many profiles like that along with news segments pertaining to latin americans living up in the states Like expat eddie says if he didn't know any better You'd think it was an infomercial

[20:12] Directed at poor latin south of the border who want to sneak into the states and get a piece of the american dream themselves So this station puts a very positive spin on latins who've made it to the united states And it's anybody's guess as to how many people interviewed on these programs Simply snuck into a latin barrio in a big us city and are living happily ever after But what about the people who are working at and running that tv station? You gotta wonder how many of those folks are legal It's obvious that a large percentage of these people can't speak 50 words of english Now i'm not saying that there's anything wrong or illegal at all about having a station like that. It is a free country Well, I take that back. It used to be free, but it's a surveillance state now So why isn't the nsa surveilling them? I mean illegal latins and their media outlets

[21:01] At least that's what some of us expats are thinking the us government do something like that Nah, that would be too logical Anyway, I just thought i'd give you a heads up on some of the propaganda that's coming down here From the latin contingent up there in the good old us of a Now I guess I better finish off what I was saying about the rise and fall of latin icons like che guevara Castro bob marley and mickey mouse. So like I said in the last 20 years T-shirt and coffee mug icons like jay and uncle fidel have virtually faded away And in regards to t-shirts in general, they're more popular than ever down here in latin america However, 15 or 20 years ago if you bought a brand new t-shirt or a piece of clothing here

[21:49] 100 of the t-shirts at least were woven sewed stitched and silk screened In latin america most likely in the country you bought it in But these days if you check the tag, it just might say indonesia or vietnam though I have to point out when you're in central america now honduras, guadamal and nikaragua still make quite huge numbers of t-shirts for the world So you'd be hard pressed to find a new t-shirt in any store down there that's made in asia Now like I said before jay guevara t-shirts are way out of favor Now i'm not saying you won't find them on the rack in a store You will but chances are when you pull it off the shelf, it'll be a little dusty and faded These days there's little turnover in the che product line So today with the exception of venezuela and cuba che is just another scruffy fading iconic latin american figure

[22:40] With a bad spotty growth of facial hair. He should have never attempted to cultivate in the first place And I often ask myself this question Why is it that every latin guy in the world who can sprout three spindly hairs on his face? Will cultivate them proudly to show off the viril macho guy that he is or thinks he is Go figure So anyway, these days the average young latin guy doesn't even know who che guevara is with one exception If you happen to take a walk through one of those cheap disgusting low-grade public universities Not private then you'll be forced to look at che's ugly mug about 20 or 30 times a day Since he's still a hero at socialist leaning thoroughly corrupt public universities enough said about that

[23:30] Now once again, the topic of water treatment came up lately. In fact, it always seems to come up You should see my emails so i'll pick up on that right now I do get emails and spurts from people asking me about reverse osmosis water systems Since now they're available pretty much everywhere up north and down here too And here they run around two to three hundred bucks. Just know that I do not recommend reverse osmosis And why am I mentioning this stuff if i've said it all before well, I still have people asking me all the time Johnny do they have fluoride in the water in latin america? And if they do does your undercounter filter the do-it-yourself filter you have on your website Or the portable sawyer filter that you recommend so highly take the fluoride out

[24:17] And I get questions like will I need a water softener down there since i've heard the water is heavily Mineralized especially in those volcanic areas like in the altiplano Well, i'll repeat again down in latin america. Nobody puts fluoride in the water They can't even do chlorine right and fluoride's a lot more dangerous and trickier to distribute So in fact, it doesn't matter if my do-it-yourself filter or the portable sawyer filter will take out fluoride or not It's just not an issue, but you might legitimately ask the question well Since latin governments want to be first world in the worst way and eventually everything does get down there with a big lag time Sometimes years sometimes decades. Well, then can't we expect some of those countries? Especially the ones like costa rica panama argentine and chile the ones that tax and spend more

[25:06] And are somewhat on the fast track to becoming kind of first world since they've got so many gringos flooding in Well that said is fluoride gonna rear its ugly head in those countries soon, too All those latin countryside just mentioned seriously have had the topic up for discussion since they believe anything The first world does must be good for them Not to mention they look on the us fda as more or less the word of god himself Now ain't that a revolt and development? Anyway, the good news is it looks like fluoridation down in latin america Just ain't gonna happen not even in those gringle contaminated areas like costa rica and panama That's because they've noticed that first world countries in europe specifically have been abandoning the use of fluoride one by one

[25:53] And the latest country to do that is israel. In fact, just last month israel's supreme court ruled that starting January 2014 water fluoridation there will be illegal citing dangerous health concerns Scientists there report that it has no therapeutic value at all Now just as an aside here Here's something you probably didn't know all through world war ii the nazis used fluoridated water in concentration camps To dumb down the prisoners and make them docile and stalin used it in the soviet gulags, too If you don't believe me look it up Okay, so the good news is you don't have to worry about fluoridation But what about softening the hard water you hear so much about down here in latin america

[26:40] Why not use one of those big water softener tanks that so many people in rural areas in the states? Use especially when they have such hard water that it leaves a buildup of hardened crystals and stain On toilets and sinks and hard water makes it difficult to get your clothes clean with regular detergent And yes, it can be a very good idea to get one of those collagen type tanks That's filled with a special kind of a salt that exchanges ions and thus softens your water And that'll solve a lot of the scaling problems you get In sinks and showers and stuff and you can get those water softening units at any pool supply outfit However, you do have to recharge them every so often with salt And though those units are available down here almost no one I know has one and neither do I

[27:29] Though I am seriously considering getting one You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america coming to you twice a week from somewhere south of the border Email me the expat files at gmail.com And don't forget to check out expatwisdom.com to sign up for your free reports on latin america See you next time