#288 – The Expat Files: Healthcare, Schools, and the Gringo Advantage in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America the show that tells you just what it's like to live Work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Now I'd like to point out that after getting a number of emails asking me about my new Latin American health care report Just off the presses and by the way, it has a long title It's called an expat's guide to first world health care in Latin America with the subtitle being how to get

[00:47] 21st century health care for 80 to 90 percent less than what you're paying in the States right now It's a long title, but it says it all now doesn't it and how to get that report for free right now You just go to expat wisdom calm and on the main page to the right It says sign up for your free reports now, and that's all you have to do and you'll get an email with the link Do check it out. Oh and people have been asking me if there's any expat Eddie stories in the report Well, there are a few stories. All right, I can barely get through a simple conversation without telling one You know me but to answer the question. There are no Eddie stories in that report, but as for expat Eddie in health care Well, guess what? He's thinking about getting a facelift and not because he's old ugly saggy or baggy or anything and he's far from being vain

[01:32] But his girlfriend, you know is half his age and she makes fun of his papala de pavo, which means double chin Actually papala de pavo is literally translated as turkey chin. You can picture that can't you? He's on the low side of 50 and he's been smoking an awful long time So he's got those permanent telltale smokers wrinkles around his mouth as well And to me he's just expat Eddie so I never noticed that stuff until his girlfriend pointed it out, you know Oh and by the way, she made him quit smoking a long time ago And it was a really hard sell since cigarettes down here go for about a buck and a half to two bucks a pack So is Eddie really gonna get a facelift? Well, you see it's getting a bit complicated now because the other day in a car She asked me in front of Eddie if I thought he could do for a facelift or not

[02:18] Then I said well, let's see how he recovers from that liver transplant first then Eddie said yuck. Yuck. No, seriously She's trying to talk me in to get in a facelift. She doesn't like my turkey gobbler Then I said you're gonna do it to which he said I'll do it if you do it I said maybe but I've got to grow a double chin first una papada de pavo a turkey gobbler So that's where we left it for now. Don't worry I'll keep you posted and by the way in my new health care report I do talk quite a bit about medical tourism and all kinds of elective and non elective surgery in Latin America, too So if you're wondering what it's like the cost the quality and how to find excellent English speaking surgeons, etc, etc Pick up the report at expat wisdom calm Anyway, for those of you expat wannabes who might be coming down with young kids

[03:04] I'd like to talk just a little bit more about schools down here Now a while back I gave you the complete lowdown on private schools for kids K through 12 I mentioned that if parents have the money they can send their kids to private schools that range in cost from the ridiculously low price of $25 per month per kid to the very elite high-end schools Which could top out at around 300 bucks a month and away it works out only about the upper 10% of Latin American families can afford to send their kids to private schools though 100% of Latin parents would just love to send their kids to private schools if they could afford it and it turns out 90% of Latin American families can't even afford that rock bottom price of 25 bucks a month Now if you're a parent, you might be wondering what do you get for 25 bucks a month in a private school here?

[03:54] Well, first of all, the school itself is not likely to be a traditional schoolhouse It's gonna be a converted home a lower middle-class rough around the edges paint peeling ceiling dripping Middle-class home and many of these places have the owner and the family living right next door or even in the same building Meaning often the kids in the one-room class can smell the beans cooking and hear the TV blaring right through an adjacent door And it's usually the owner of the house the lady of the house that decided one day to start a little private school like that in Most cases the lady of the house was a disgruntled public school teacher who just couldn't take that cesspool anymore and decided to strike out on So the question is how does someone with a bit of initiative and almost no money start a tiny private school like that?

[04:41] Well, if you tried that up in the States, it would take reams of paperwork hundreds of thousands of dollars if not millions and dozens of Licensing hurdles to jump over but down here in Latin America Starting a school is so easy and cheap that it's laughable You do have to fill out some paperwork and fulfill some very basic and rudimentary licensing requirements to get a permit from the education department and there might be an inspection of the place though there might not and you'll Have to submit a curriculum though. That might not be a strict requirement either Anyway, you get the idea as it turns out a lot of upper middle-class Latin ladies with a lot of time on their hands end up starting Little schools like this that are pretty successful and believe it or not Gringos and Europeans do it all the time now you could say it's a good job

[05:28] Opportunity for a gringle and I don't mean working at one of these places I mean actually owning an operating one Of course, you'll have to be able to speak some Spanish just to get the thing off the ground But you can start very small with bare-bones capital Most of these places start with just a handful of students 20 30 50. It doesn't matter You got to start somewhere right and work up from there I mean basically that's how all gringo and European affiliated schools Started down here with just a few kids and some of them after 10 or 20 years have three or four or five hundred kids and they End up growing quickly out of their first little neighborhood houses and buildings and they bought land and have full-fledged campuses now and remember with that gringo advantage You've got instant credibility and perceived first-world know-how and teaching skills whether you have them or not

[06:17] Like I said in past shows It's every Latin parents dream to have his kids trained by first-world gringos or Europeans So what I'm saying is this if you're a first-world teacher It would be very easy for you to come down here and start up your own private school And of course, you wouldn't be charging 25 bucks a month per kid What you're offering is a first-world education or something pretty close to it Anyway, in fact many times a first-world expat with some teaching experience up north will come down and hook up with a Spanish-speaking Latin American teacher down here and the two together will partner up and start one of these little schools the first-world teacher Of course lending to the project first-world prestige and the startup money Because I can guarantee you the Latin teachers gonna be flat broke They all are because the average teacher down here makes 250 to 300 bucks a month

[07:05] But the Latin half of the partnership will be the boots on the ground connection to the neighborhood Thus recruiting kids and teachers and dealing with the initial curriculum and government paperwork and stuff but first let me give you an idea what these very low budget 25 to 50 dollar a month per student places are like To give you some idea what your competition is and by the way Why you just can't help but succeed like so many gringo and gringo teachers have done and let me just mention that you just don't Come down here as a teacher and decide to start a school You work a while yourself as an English teacher six months or a year working at a high-end private school yourself Just to get the hang of the way things are done in one of these bigger places Then you do what some of my own gringo teacher friends have done and you hook up with some other teacher in that school

[07:53] And you partner up and you go off on your own that way There's very little stress and you're not reinventing the wheel. So anyway, what's your low-end competition gonna be like? Well, first of all, it's likely to be a converted lower middle-class home right in your neighborhood So a kid can walk back and forth to the school easily so they don't have to deal with any kind of school lunch Program or food at all and what about the staff? Well, you see the rules are so lax for starting a school down here that believe it or not None of the teachers needs to have a four-year university degree or for that matter a teaching certificate Not for teaching grade school kids. Anyway, in fact most public universities in Latin America the ones that churn out grade school teachers Actually do it with two and three year university programs now in these very low-end private schools

[08:41] There'll be no gringo or European teachers. The teachers will all be Latin Americans And yes, even those low-end schools will have English classes But the kids will never learn their English well enough to communicate with you or me since the Latin person teaching the English class Will certainly have never been to America before and will have learned his own English teaching skills from another Latin teacher He had who never went to the States either In other words English teachers in those schools have no practical conversational English experience at all But their curriculum will offer English and that's why a real first-world English-speaking teacher who starts up even the tiniest neighborhood school Immediately has a huge PR advantage over the local competition when the parents paying the bill realize their kids can have an actual gringo

[09:27] Education taught by a gringo or two in their very neighborhood now again Remember I'm talking about doing this off the gringo tourist trail because if you're not and you're in a place like Costa Rica countries on the tourist trail like that are just flooded with gringos and English speakers and if you open a school there you Will have no gringo advantage at all and in your face gringo competition is the last thing you want Now when you're off the tourist trail like me and expat Eddie You really do stand out as the only gringo in your neighborhood In fact, even now when I drive up to expat Eddie's subdivision in El Salvador There are different guard shifts at the entrance gate and the guard will always ask you who you're there to see and then they'll call Ahead to the house you're gonna visit to make sure you're invited or are expected. That's why these guarded subdivisions are so safe

[10:14] Anyway, sometimes when I drive up to the guard station at the gate There's a new guard there or a guard that I don't know And sometimes there'll be two guards there one outside by the gate and one inside the little guard shack watching the soccer game or a soap opera Now just a couple of weeks ago when I was outside the entrance to Eddie's subdivision the guard standing outside Who I didn't know walked up to the car and asked me who I was there to see and before I could say anything The other guard yelled out the little guard shack window la casa del gringo telling his fellow guard in Spanish. It's okay He's going to the gringos house. The other guy recognized me and just waved me through now Eddie's in a big subdivision of at least 200 houses yet He's the only gringo in the whole subdivision So he's known by the guards and the people in the subdivision as the gringo the lone gringo

[11:04] So you got to know he's way off the tourist trail And like I said before when you're in that situation, you're kind of a B grade rock star In fact oftentimes when I drive up to a guarded subdivision like that for whatever reason to meet someone or to go to someone's house Oftentimes a guard will see I'm a gringo and just let me go right in without Identification or asking which house I'm going to or anything something they'll never do when a latin guy pulls up to the gate It's just that when we're off the tourist trail We get kind of a free pass and you know I could talk about this till I'm blue in the face, but you really have to be down here to experience it yourself So basically what I'm saying is that gringo advantage also applies to gringo teachers that come down here to start their own little schools Now, of course gringo teachers who have started their own little schools are not competing with these big monster high-end schools for the Latin American

[11:55] Megabucks crowd with helicopters those schools already exist down here in the big metropolitan areas Especially and you'll never be able to compete with them But you wouldn't want to anyway, you can make a nice little niche and make some good money Setting one up in a small middle-class neighborhood. So what about those high-end schools for the very rich? We should mention them for a second The chances are if you come down here and you want to teach English, that's one of the schools You just might be teaching at there are always job openings and they've got a lot of gringo and European teachers work in there In fact down here they put ads in the classifies in English all the time They do have somewhat of a turnover Now at the very high end where a parent pays 200 to 300 bucks a month per kid You might remember that I said every city in Latin America over

[12:41] 20,000 people has at least one of these high-end schools and some of the bigger cities have literally dozens of them and as it Turns out those high-end schools like that are run by first world gringos and Europeans They landed down here as expats decades ago and started out small with just a handful of students Just like you will do and as they grew they realized that upper-end Latin families would pay pretty much anything to get their kids in A school where the teachers were a first world Europeans or gringos or at least a good percentage of a more first worlders That's why for example, if you go to any big Latin American city Let's say with a million or so people if you look in the yellow pages, yes They still have yellow pages here in the private school section You'll see names like the Austrian school the American school the British school the French school

[13:29] The Belgian school Montessori and quite a few others claiming European or American Connections and really it's all in the marketing because for example, there's a very successful high-end English Academy That's franchised itself out in many Latin American countries called a katamiya Europero which means the European language academy and guess what? I know the people who own and run that place and they're 100% Latin American None of them come from Europe but just by picking that name the European Academy and Marketing it in their ads with 100% first world looking blonde blue eyed people They've convinced many upscale Latin families that if you want to learn English, that's the place to go You see what I mean? It's that gringo first world advantage or in this case European first world advantage

[14:17] So again, these so-called big buck high-end private grade schools do have a completely bilingual Curriculum along with great big wonderful first world style campuses and even nicely groomed sitting areas in the parking lot For the bodyguards to hang out while they wait for their rich little brat chargers to come out at the end of the day Now, like I said, every parent wants to send their kid to a private school without exception But 90% can't afford it. So they send their kids to public school It's public school or nothing since homeschooling is not on the radar yet down here though It is an option and you'd have no problem if you wanted to homeschool your own kids The government wouldn't care and since there are no truant officers in Latin America No one's got a very good handle on how many kids are going to school and how many school-aged kids are in the unofficial

[15:07] workforce as child labor and as a matter of fact judging by all the little school-aged scruffy kids on the street juggling oranges wiping windshields breathing fire selling candy and just plain begging I'd estimate that maybe 10% of all school-aged kids don't go at all They just go out and try to earn money to keep the family and food and of course I'm talking about the very poor here anyway in regards to homeschooling I've personally never met any Latin American family rich or poor that Homeschools their kids. In fact upscale Latins don't even know what the concept is and believe me I don't even think there's gonna be a lag time for that It's just not gonna come and why do I think that? Because upscale educated Latin parents who would have the means and the knowledge to homeschool their kids would just never have the patience or

[15:55] Tolerance for it from day one. They hand over their kids to maids and nannies That's just the way it is down here upscale parents. Don't do any of the dirty work. God knows They spend very limited time with their kids and would never have the time or the patience to homeschool anyone In fact, I know a lot of children of wealthy Latins We're adults now all of them were brought up by maids and nannies and more than one of these guys has even told me he was Much closer to his maid than his own mother and one such 20-something Latin girl that I know Told me that she cried for two months when her mother fired her nanny for stealing and that nanny took care of her for the First seven years of her life. So Latin's homeschooling their kids. That's not gonna happen However, I do know a few expat gringo families down here who homeschool their kids and if they've got the time good for them

[16:46] Like I said when you're down here You'll have a lot of time on your hands and you will need a hobby or three now The funny thing is over the years. I've gotten a few emails from people saying Johnny You know the public school systems in Latin America can't be 100% crap We all know for example that the public schools in Cleveland and Chicago are absolute Vomitus feces in every way, but we also know that some public schools like the ones in New Hampshire Alaska and in very upscale neighborhoods in California and other places throughout the states They can be absolutely first rate in every way So I have to assume that's pretty much the same way in Latin America The public school system is mostly crap But there are some outstanding examples a few islands in the cesspool Well, let me answer you guys and gals who've been sending me emails like that

[17:34] By asking what drug are you on? Now the reason why I bring this up is because recently a United Nations Educational committee came down to study public schools in Latin America They did a thorough analysis of the public schools in Bolivia, Colombia, El Salvador, Honduras, Guatemala Nicaragua and Peru now remember I'm talking about public schools You know the ones run by the government and after I tell you some of the results of this report Which by the way just came out this week You will understand why every single Latin American parent wants to send his kids to private school So here's some of the results for those eight Latin American countries. I just mentioned that we're in that UN study Only 65 percent of them have running water

[18:21] 25 percent of those schools do not have electricity wired at all and get this 30% of all the public schools in those countries do not have bathrooms Which means basically that kids have to go outside and find a place to do it Boys and girls and you know, they're not taking a long walk, especially during the rainy season And by the way, what kind of shoes do you wear when you're doing that thing in the rainy season? Yuck, which might help to explain why so many middle and lower class males Will just whip it out anytime and take a whiz no matter what the traffic's like on the road No matter who's there watching without any shame or embarrassment at all Maybe it's because nature has always been their personal bathroom. Oh, and here's an interesting Latin public school tidbit

[19:07] The two Latin American countries in the study that have the highest public school attendance figures by far are Guatemala and El Salvador in those two countries over 95% of the eligible kids show up every day whereas in the other six of the eight Latin countries studied Only about 50 to 65 percent of the eligible kids show up to school on a regular basis I'm talking about those free public schools, of course And the reason for that is simple El Salvador and Guatemala are the only two of the eight that provide a free Breakfast or lunch for the kids makes sense, huh? And on a personal note you all know I've been down here 20 plus years now and in that span of time I've run into dozens if not hundreds of successful Latin entrepreneurs and professionals

[19:57] Architects engineers doctors restaurant owners car dealers, you name it I've personally met a Latin person or two who are making a pretty good go of it And when I have gotten into discussions with these guys and asked them to tell me a bit of their personal story That is how they got started and how they got into the business and what their educational background was well Unfortunately, I can't ever remember one of these guys or gals telling me that he went to a government public school as a kid That is spending their whole young life in a public school K through 12 And the few successful Latins that I spoke to that did go to public school only went for a couple of years until their parents were able to switch them into a private school and A lucky thing for them too and the ones that did go a few years to public school seem totally embarrassed about it

[20:48] now I have met some very successful Latin businessmen who went to those real high-end schools because their mommies and daddies were rich and To be honest with you the vast majority of these guys wouldn't be worth a damn if they weren't backed up by mommy and daddy's dough They always end up in mommy or daddy's business or the family money opens some other doors provided They don't want to work at their daddy's boring cement asphalt or beer company Let me tell you most of these guys are really something and hard to be around but they do have great beach houses and good parties But I've met a lot of successful Latins that came from humble beginnings and really made something of themselves without any help from anyone Especially not the government But even these guys and gals somehow ended up going to private grade school or high school a lot of them by the way

[21:33] Attending one of those $25 a month jobs, which is a very low-end private school But still private and what do you get for that 25 bucks a month electricity 24 7 running water and indoor plumbing So the sad truth is kids going to public school down here in Latin America Don't have even a half-assed chance of pulling themselves up by the bootstraps and getting out of that wicked cycle of poverty And that's why when I'm sitting around with a bunch of expat gringos or first-world tourists and the subject of grinding poverty comes up And everybody's got their ideas on how to fix it of course and the gringos that trumpet their ideas the loudest are the ones that happen to have been down here the Shortest period of time Doesn't that figure anyway anytime one of these first-world idiots tells me about this great charity or telethon for poor kids

[22:24] He's contributing to or this great new church or United Nations charity program I tell him you know the best thing you could do for a poor kid down here is to try to help at least one Kid get out of the public school system. I mean come on Can you afford 25 bucks a month or so to give a poor kid in your neighborhood or maybe even your cleaning lady? Or your gardener's kid half a chance at getting a leg up in life Forget about giving your money to any charity That's dough down the toilet And I don't care what those people working for or invested in those charities say or how many millions of posters they put out with Emaciated children on them. I'll debate them any time any place and I'll show them how they're just a bunch of corrupt scammers first By asking them what kind of car they drive and who's paying for it, then I'll ask them what Caribbean resort

[23:13] They had their last executive fundraising meeting at and what kind of hotels and cars they rent and what kind of expense account They have when they're traveling around the country in the world doing charity work God's work because I'll tell you when I see executives and other Spokesmen for those charities come down here to Latin America decked out in their casual designer outback clothes They don't stay in the outback. They stay at three and four star first world hotels sure They'll make a trip or two to the actual charity construction site out in the bush in a nice comfy leather upholstered Range Rover they've got to go out for a few obligatory photo ops with those indigenous families that are supposed to benefit from that sewage system the Project that their young volunteers are working on and hopefully that sewage system will actually get used for a while

[24:01] Because who knows what will happen once those visitors have left? after those young volunteer Kumbaya folks have spent their two weeks in the outback and they've packed up and gone and are now safely back in the good old first world all Basking in that saintly glow that can only come from performing selfless deeds for Jesus and installing basic plumbing But that doesn't mean that those indigenous folks when left to their own devices will actually use this stuff That doesn't usually happen in the long run more than half of the projects these so-called do-gooders build end up like castles made of sand that fall into the sea eventually and By the way, I just ripped that off from a Jimi Hendrix song

[24:47] Anyway, the executives for these do-good charities those jerks are not gonna sleep in a tent No backpacker hotels for these guys. They're used to the high life on your tax-deductible dime And they're not gonna rough it and that's why when I'm at a party or a get-together down here and some fresh green Know-it-all gringo or expat starts to tell me about this and that great charity or nonprofit organization I cringe a bit, but I don't always bite my tongue Sometimes when I think one of these guys deserves to learn a lesson I'll lay some real-life close to home examples on them and I'll sprinkle around some stats like the ones I just mentioned to you, and I don't know if it's a personal defect of mine It probably is but I kind of like telling wicked charity stories to large groups of righteous

[25:36] Gringos not that it's gonna stop them from coming down here to save the world with indoor plumbing but at least it gives them something to think about and Expat Eddie thinks that someday one of those big strapping kumbaya dudes from Kansas is gonna punch me in the kisser Because after all it's kind of depressing news if you're down here doing Buddha's work And you meet some gringo cynic at a party who tells you you're pissing in the wind Well, that's hard news to take if you're out to save the world, you know Especially when plan a was digging sanitation ditches in the Nicaraguan jungle and plan B was spring break in Cancun Now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that all charities are corrupt and full of crap only the ones that have aborted directors Paid employees or two or more members

[26:22] Now to be serious here a minute actually I was serious about that I believe that every single gringo and expat that comes down here should help at least one lower middle class or poor kid And if you can try to help the whole family and I don't mean by buying them cell phones or iPods or Nintendo or dinner at McDonald's or any of the excess baggage first-world junk that we have I mean do something that'll make a difference in their lives Like I said before if you have a cleaning lady or a maintenance guy That's a really good place to start and I don't think it's a good idea at all to give money to people on the street Be it a kid a young mother or an adult male just because they're sticking their hand out and asking for money I have definite rules about that. And of course, I'm gonna tell you

[27:08] For starters if someone on the street wants money from me, I mean, of course coins small change That's what they're asking for right and that person has two legs and two arms and looks like he's able-bodied I will not give him a single cent unless he's selling something I don't care if he's selling toothpicks or chiclets or pencils. Oops. I'm pressed for time again I'll continue this next week. So stay tuned You've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America coming to you twice a week from somewhere south of the border Email me the expat files at gmail.com and don't forget to check out expat wisdom comm to sign up for your Free reports on Latin America. See you next time knows famous