Episode Summary
In this episode of The Expat Files, Johnny Mueller explores the complexities of pet ownership in Latin America, from the availability of pet products to the cultural treatment of animals. He also touches on food safety concerns, the state of pet photography, and the broader implications of expat life in the region. With insights from expat experiences and personal anecdotes, Johnny provides a nuanced look at the challenges and opportunities of living in Latin America.
Johnny begins by introducing The Expat Files, a podcast that covers the experiences of living, working, playing, and retiring in Latin America. He acknowledges the mix of good, bad, ugly, and great aspects of life there. The episode then shifts to addressing a detailed email from Rebecca, a pet owner and photographer considering moving to Latin America. Rebecca raises several questions about pet life in the region, including pet photography opportunities, pet laws, and the treatment of pets. Johnny responds by discussing the availability of pet shops and boutiques in tourist areas, the cost of pet services, and the variability in veterinary care. He also touches on the cultural aspects of pet treatment, such as the common practice of feeding pets human junk food.
Johnny then discusses the availability of first-world pet products in Latin America, highlighting that even in remote areas, pet owners can access a wide range of high-quality, first-world brand-name items. He notes that while imported products are available, they tend to be more expensive due to import duties. He also explains that many well-known pet food brands like Purina and Alpo are available in both English and Spanish packaging, with the latter being cheaper as it is produced and packaged locally. Johnny raises concerns about the use of genetically modified organisms (GMOs) in pet food, particularly in the U.S., and suggests that pet owners should look for products sourced from countries like Mexico and Argentina, where GMO crops are not widely used. He concludes by emphasizing that transnational corporations maintain first-world standards in their operations, even in Latin America.
In this segment, Johnny discusses the state of pet food and meat processing in Latin America. He highlights that Coca-Cola maintains a consistent taste globally, but pet food and meat processing in the region are often unsanitary and poorly regulated. He describes the grim conditions in meat processing plants, which can turn people into vegetarians. Johnny also shares a personal anecdote about his experience at an Oscar Mayer factory in Chicago, which left him with a lasting aversion to hot dogs. He further explains that in smaller grocery stores, customers can access open sacks of name-brand dog food, reflecting the economic conditions of the region. Johnny also notes that many dogs in Latin America are underweight due to limited access to proper nutrition, while wealthier families can afford better pet food. He mentions the lack of cat ownership in the region and the prevalence of local, often unregulated pet food brands. Finally, he emphasizes the absence of routine health inspections for food processing plants in Latin America, which means government intervention only occurs after incidents of foodborne illness.
In this segment, Johnny discusses the state of pet food safety and dog training in Latin America. He highlights the lax regulations in meat processing for human consumption and speculates about the potential for similar neglect in pet food production, especially in plants owned by large multinational companies like Purina. He also mentions the affordability of locally produced pet food, which could be half the price of branded products. Turning to dog photography, he suggests that there is a market for it in upscale areas, where wealthy individuals are more likely to invest in their pets. He also comments on the lack of dog training among the wealthy, noting that even those who can afford pedigree dogs often fail to train them properly, leading to behaviors like jumping on people and soiling furniture. Johnny suggests that dog training could be a viable business if marketed effectively to high-end pet owners and vet clinics.
In this segment, Johnny discusses pet-related advice for expats in Latin America. He emphasizes the importance of standing out from local competitors to succeed in the pet service market, particularly for upscale Latins who are willing to pay for quality. He also warns against buying pets from pet stores due to the prevalence of pet mills and advises expats to look for cheaper, more authentic options. Johnny highlights the challenges of owning long-haired pets in tropical climates and suggests that expats living in the Altiplano (high-altitude regions) may have more flexibility. He also touches on pet laws, which exist but are poorly enforced, and offers practical advice for dealing with dog bites and street dogs. Finally, he introduces a 'jogger's best friend' gadget as a tool for personal safety and directs listeners to a resource for more information.
In this segment, Johnny recounts an anecdote about monkeys in a zoo who became addicted to Coca-Cola, leading to chaotic behavior. He explains how the zookeeper confirmed the monkeys' addiction and how their lack of daily coke caused aggression. Johnny then shifts to addressing criticism from Rebecca, who accused him of overplaying the urgency of expatting from the United States. He clarifies that he never intended to host seminars and only does them by popular demand. He also mentions developing a step-by-step program called the 'Five Flags' for expats looking to move their assets and themselves out of the U.S. Johnny warns that the situation is serious and recommends listening to Richard Martin's show, 'The Wake Up Call,' for more data-driven insights. He concludes by promoting his website, expatwisdom.com, for free reports on expat topics, including a special report on healthcare in Latin America.
Topics
Introduction to The Expat Files podcast, Rebecca's questions about pet life in Latin America, Opportunities for pet photography and pet-related businesses, Cost and quality of pet services in tourist vs. non-tourist areas, Cultural aspects of pet treatment in Latin America, availability of first-world pet products in Latin America, imported vs. locally produced pet food, genetically modified organisms (GMOs) in pet food, transnational corporations and food standards, Pet food in Latin America, Meat processing in Latin America, Economic conditions in Latin America
Chapters
00:00:00 Opening 00:03:56 Rebecca's Questions About Pet Life in Latin America 00:05:08 The Availability of First-World Pet Products in Latin America 00:06:15 Imported vs. Locally Produced Pet Food 00:08:42 Quality Control and GMO Concerns in Pet Food 00:10:08 Consistency of Coca-Cola in Latin America 00:10:22 Unsanitary Conditions in Meat Processing Plants 00:10:46 Johnny's Personal Experience at an Oscar Mayer Factory 00:11:35 Access to Name-Brand Dog Food in Small Grocery Stores 00:12:39 Dogs' Diet and Health in Latin America 00:13:17 Cat Ownership and Pet Food in Latin America 00:14:07 Lack of Health Inspections in Food Processing Plants 00:15:06 Government Inaction on Pet Food Safety 00:17:13 Lack of Dog Training Among the Wealthy 00:18:51 Opportunity for Dog Training Business 00:19:56 Differentiating in the Pet Service Market 00:20:13 Avoiding Pet Mills 00:20:59 Challenges of Long-Haired Pets in Tropical Climates 00:22:32 Pet Laws and Enforcement 00:23:20 The Jogger's Best Friend Gadget 00:24:39 Monkeys and Coca-Cola Addiction 00:24:48 Johnny's Cool Pictures of the Event 00:24:53 Monkeys' Addiction and Aggression 00:25:04 Rebecca's Criticism of Johnny's Approach 00:25:17 Johnny's Clarification on Seminars 00:25:52 Johnny's Step-by-Step Program for Expatting 00:26:32 Recommendation of Richard Martin's Show 00:27:13 Promotion of expatwisdom.com and Free Reports
Transcript
Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.
[00:14] Hello there all you expat wannabes, I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the Expat Files, living in Latin America. The show that tells you just what it's like to live, work, play and or retire down here in Latin America. It's a mix of the good, the bad, the ugly and the great, and it's all right here so let's get started. Okay I'm really backed up with answering emails, so let me start off with this one from Rebecca which hits on a number of points, specifically some issues on pets in Latin America we haven't touched on yet, and a lot of other questions of interest to you pet owners out there, wondering how your pet or pets are going to adapt to the move, if and when you become an expat pet, and more to the point, should you even bring them down at all, etc etc so here goes. And I'll paraphrase a bit now to speed things up, like I don't talk fast enough already
[01:02] right? Anyway it starts, Hi Johnny, I just started listening to your show about a month ago. I became so addicted that I downloaded every episode and listened to them every spare second I had. It's funny I had many questions while listening to your show, but I never emailed because I wanted to listen to everything to be sure you hadn't already covered the answers. You did cover my main concern which is transporting pets internationally, but I'd really love to know more about pets in Latin America. I know how birds are treated, how dogs don't have training, and how animal shelters are totally non-existent. Those things really bother me, but I guess I have to get over that if I'm going to make the move. At the same time, those things inspire the business person in me. I'm a pet photographer now, I volunteer my services at shelters, and I also foster dogs
[01:49] and train them if necessary. Do you think there might be a market for pet photography down there? It's exploded here in the states, and you did mention that people love their pets. I'm considering several business ideas in the pet industry, photography, training school, pet boutique, etc. Yes I know I need boots on the ground, within a year I'll be visiting for sure. Nevertheless, any insight would be truly appreciated. I'd just love to hear more about the life of pets down there. For example, do pet smart and pet coes do well? Are there pet boutiques? Are there any pet laws and are they enforced? Oh and I know that second part about enforcing the laws is laughable. But anyway, I'd like to know, are there leash laws? Or laws that cover pet breeders or breeding in general?
[02:36] I know a girl from Brazil who says when she came here it was really odd to see the way us first worlders treated our dogs. She said that back in Brazil her mom gave her dogs soda, and that giving dogs human junk food like that is common down there. So any fun facts like that are interesting to me. Also, I have to comment that as I listened and got closer to the more recent shows, the atmosphere seemed to be getting more and more frantic. It started around the same time your seminars began to be offered. To be honest, you're really scaring me, even though I think that at least 50% of your urgent tone is a marketing tactic for promoting your seminar. Aside from that, my boyfriend and I have a 5 year plan, but there's no way we could just pick up and move before January. We need to save money first.
[03:23] Come on Johnny. Be straight with me. Do you really believe we'll get stuck here if we don't jump ship right away? My dad said he's going to your next seminar, and I hope he means it because he's fickle at times. He's the one that turned me on to your show, and I'm totally sold on making the move. I just need more time to plan and save. If my dad doesn't go, you can bet you'll see me at your next seminar. So good job with the marketing, but really, do you have to scare me like that? Anyway, thanks for sharing your experiences. Love listening to your show. Rebecca Okay Rebecca, a lot of stuff there, so let's get started on it. Now Rebecca, you say you're a pet photographer, right? Well, I can tell you this. If you're on the tourist track, like in Panama or Costa Rica, you're going to find a lot of upscale, first world style pet shops and boutiques, owned and operated mostly by first
[04:12] world expats, by the way, or Latin American veterinarians who speak perfect English and came from wealthy families. And these guys who took a lot of trips to Disneyland as young kids, because mommy and daddy had the money, they're totally tuned in with the way pet lovers are in the States. And though you won't pay first world prices, you'll still be paying two, three, and even four times as much for routine pet services than you'd pay if you were off the tourist trail, like in Salvador, Honduras, or Nicaragua. For example, I took my dog for a checkup at an English speaking vet off the tourist trail about three months ago, and it ran me, get this, 12 bucks for a complete physical. But you have to keep your eyes open. Vet prices even off the tourist trail can be all over the map. A regular checkup like that with a humble neighborhood vet could be 12 bucks, whereas
[04:59] a vet who drives a nice car and who's in a high end shopping mall might charge triple vet. Now that 12 bucks didn't include the rabies shot or the distemper or the anti-parasite medicine, which vets down here say your dog should get, but most pet owners never keep up with, even owners with mega bucks. So what about the availability of new and modern pet products? Well, even in my vet's office off the tourist trail, she's got just tons of first world products in there, first world brand name everything, including lotions and powders and shampoos and skin and ear and fur treatments, almost too much variety just like in the States. And not only does she have a whole counter full of that stuff, she's got another gigantic shelf full of first world dog and cat toys too, and another couple of shelves full of
[05:45] first world brand name dog and cat food. I mean, she and most big city vets carry all of the medium and high end expensive brands that you're used to buying in the States, even the organic stuff. And as you know, if you buy any of that imported stuff imported from the first world, that is, you're going to pay more than first world prices because of the import duties. So needless to say, if you've got the money, little spot Rover or Obama won't suffer for a lack of first world brand name dog food. Now pay attention to this bit because it's important. Note that you can go into any medium or large size grocery store in Latin America and buy any of the well-known dog food brands like Purina and Alpo, Tender Bits and that stuff. And the funny thing is you'll be able to buy, for example, Purina dog chow packaged in three
[06:34] different ways. One, in the normal packaging that you're used to in English and a packaging that's in Spanish. And sometimes you'll get the wording in English and Spanish on the same bag. So what that means is you can buy Purina dog chow that's fabricated and packaged up in the States, like the stuff that you'd buy up in Costco or Walmart. Or you could buy Purina dog chow with the lettering completely in Spanish, same color package and everything that's been processed and packaged somewhere down in Latin America. And the funny thing is the kibbles and bits in those bags, even though they're the same product or are supposed to be, they don't look the same. There's something obviously different about them. So if they don't look the same, do they taste different too? Don't ask me, I'm not checking.
[07:21] And your dog doesn't care, he'll eat anything. And by the way, if you know anything at all about large scale pet food production, you'll know that right before the final step in the process of putting it in the bag, the food itself has virtually no taste at all. So the last stage in the process is to spray with the flavoring, the fake chicken and the tuna and the lean beef flavoring. Yum, yum. And by the way, the same thing goes for human junk food like Cheetos. The final step in that process is to spray the fake cheese flavor on it, along with that horrible orange color that gets on your lips, fingers and eventually on your pants and anything white. Damn, can't those food science guys do something about that? Anyway, we're talking about buying first world brand name pet food in Latin America, which
[08:07] is available everywhere. However, you can buy the US import or the Spanish language version, which is produced and packaged in Latin America. And as you'd expect, the local stuff with the Spanish letter packaging is a little cheaper. And I might add in grocery stores down here, you'll also see first world brand name cereals like Post and Kellogg's, which you can also get in two different ways. For example, Kellogg's Corn Flakes in a box that's printed in English and one that's in Spanish. And the same thing applies. The Spanish language one, because it's produced and packaged down here in Latin America, will always be cheaper than the US import. So you might ask, what about quality control? Which one of those two is better? Now, at first thought, you might think, well, the American brand is better because they've got higher standards and a lot more inspectors and all that, right?
[08:53] But think of this. Obviously, up in the first world, you already know they've got a big GMO problem. You know, genetically modified foods. And you already know, if you listen to PRN and Gary Null especially, that GMO products are not safe for animals, human or otherwise. So this is what you didn't know. If, for example, you buy alpo that's been packaged up in the States, its corn and grain and soy products are pure GMO. And if you want to feed that stuff to your dog, it's your choice. But if my dogs were finicky and only preferred alpo, I'd prefer the alpo that was packaged and processed in Latin America because I know for sure that GMO crops have not been introduced down here in Latin America except in a few special cases, specifically in places like Mexico and Argentina. So all you got to do is look on the label and see what country the product came from
[09:41] and stay away from pet and human grain products packaged in Argentina and Mexico. But what about the food processing standards themselves? Well, I'll tell you this. If Purina, one of the big transnational companies, owns a packaging and processing plant in Latin America, you can be sure they're going to hold to first world standards. If anything, that's what transnational corporations are good at. A side, of course, from their prime directive, which is addicting the world to junk food. Anyway, that's why a Coca-Cola you buy in Mexico will taste the same as one you buy in Tokyo, Botswana, or the Coke you give to your dog in Brazil, for that matter. So what else can I say about pet food in Latin America? Well, I can guarantee you this. If you ever went through a dog food or even a human meat processing plant down here in
[10:27] Latin America, that alone would be enough to turn you into a vegetarian in a New York Minute. And even in the States, processing plants like that are terribly gross. And believe me, I know what I'm talking about, because about 30 years ago, when I was just a skinny know-it-all pizza-faced teenager, I went on a tour through the Oscar Mayer Wiener factory in Chicago. And like I mentioned on a show a long time ago, that was the last time I ever ate a hot dog. And it was all due to seeing that final step in the wiener-making process, watching him march down the line one by one, glistening and as white and shiny as a stick-a-lard. And that's exactly what they look like, a piece of white lard that is until they're dipped into a vat of pink dye. Then they come out looking like ballpark franks and weenies that every kid grew up on.
[11:16] And by the way, it's the same with bologna and other lunch meats. They get dyed shades of pink to make them look like real food too. But I digress, what else is new? So anyway, that's what's happening with pet food down here. Oh and another thing, if you go into any of the smaller mom and pop grocery stores, you'll see a funny thing. In the back they'll generally have about 5 or 6 sacks of name-brand dog food like Purina. With the tops sliced open, where customers can dip their hands in and throw whatever small amount of that dry dog food on a scale and pay for it by the ounce. Just like you can go into any mom and pop grocery store and buy individual cigarettes too for all those people who have the habit but can't afford to buy a whole pack. Which gives you a good idea of the economic state of the average guy down here since cigarettes
[12:05] are about 2 bucks a pack. Now compare that with cigarette prices in the states which are 5 to 10 bucks a pack and even more in Canada. So that means of course that some of the average latin families making 300 bucks a month can, on special occasions, treat their pet to a handful of Purina dog chow. And that's why mom and pop grocery stores always have a couple of bags of brand name dog food open in the back. However as sprinkles and expats, we don't get it. Now understand that latins of all social classes love their pets, especially dogs. So even the poorest of families have one or more. And what do all those dogs eat? Well though they sleep at the owner's house, they generally scavenge the neighborhood all day looking for food and grab what scraps they can that fall off their master's kitchen
[12:50] table. And believe me, when scraps fall, well between the perpetually hungry kids and the starving dog, they rarely hit the floor. If you know what I mean. And by the way that's why about 95% of all dogs in Latin America look kind of underweight by US standards. And they don't have those nice shiny healthy looking coats either. Oh but there are fat dogs and cats. And you guessed it, they're the ones with the wealthy masters. Oh and about cats. Now for some reason latin americans are not big on cats. Hell I'm not big on them myself. In fact in all the years I've been down here, I think I've only known two people who've had cats and they were both women. However I do know by talking to a vet that only that upper 2 to 5% of wealthy latins
[13:35] who own cats actually buy cat food. The other 95% of latin americans, some that own cats of course. Just let them go outside and fend for themselves. Oh and by the way if I didn't mention this before. Alongside Purina, Alpo, Tender Bits and all the name brands that you know. They'll have just as many if not more local brands you've never heard of. With Spanish labeling of course. Now I've spoken to many latin vets over the years and everyone has told me to keep away from those unknown brands simply because this is latin america after all. And if cities and counties don't have enough inspectors to check out the human food processing and meat packing plants, oops, did I say human meat packing plants? That sounds like soil and green doesn't it? Well you know what I mean, meat packing plants.
[14:21] Anyway I'll give you the bad news on meat processing for human consumption on another show so stay tuned for that. Though let me just add that when you see the infrequent government raid on a meat packing plant in the paper or on the TV news, it's not that some routine government health inspection caught some meat packing plant with a grave violation or with its pants down. Well just remember this, there are basically no routine health inspections for food processing plants in latin america. Sure there might be one inspection when they first get their license, but after that it's the honor system, hardy har har. But the fact is when you see the occasional story of a meat packing plant raid in the paper, it's because a number of people have landed in the hospital from eating a product from that place. Then and only then will the government get off its dead ass and send some people out
[15:11] to inspect the suspected party. So the point is, if they're that lax with meat for human consumption, well then God or Allah or Buddha knows what happens in those processing plants for pet food. Except like I said before, those processing plants that are owned by big trans nationals like Purina, who are already under a certain amount of pressure since they're used to being inspected all the time up in the first world. And by the way, the locally produced dry pet food that you'll see along with the Purina and the alpo and all that, it really is tempting to buy that stuff, since it could be around half the price of the name brand, and your dog will eat it. Of course some non discriminating dogs and kids will eat their own poop too, so you can't go buy what they're willing to put in their mouth, you know?
[15:57] So anyway Rebecca, about your dog photography idea. Well off the tourist trail, I have not seen much of that at all. Now of course, when you're off the tourist trail, you can always find upscale dog grooming places and English speaking vets, who've probably been asked about dog photography. And I'm sure in the upscale neighborhoods, occasionally a local photographer will get asked to do something like that. But they're going to be located in the wealthier areas of town, and the upscale malls that you find virtually everywhere in Latin America nowadays. That's where you'll always have an upscale dog grooming place, with big display windows, where you can see poodles and terriers and fat lady lap dogs being sheared and manicured, just like in the States. Now if I was into dog photography, those are the places I'd concentrate on, because only
[16:45] the wealthy 2 or 3 percent of Latin Americans, who actually pay to have their dog sheared and manicured, would ever think of dropping money for a dog portrait. But I do believe there's a market for it off the tourist trail. Just like in the States, people with money will buy anything for their dogs. Judging simply by the fact that you can find all kinds of extravagant pet stuff in upscale vet offices and grooming places in those high end shopping centers. They wouldn't stock that stuff if people weren't buying it. Now another thing when you talk about the lack of dog training down here, the sad thing is that even the wealthiest of families who spend a thousand bucks for a pedigree dog, still when you walk in some of their houses, the dog will jump up and paw ya, which women I know hate. And worse yet, when you sit down on the living room sofa and chair, I can't tell you how many
[17:32] times a dog will jump right up on the couch and sit next to you or try to get on your lap. And you know, it's the owners who've got to be slapped for that. And if you think that's bad, I've been in some very wealthy Latin homes that smell perpetually like piss and poop. In fact, when I was at one wealthy Latin guy's party, if I recall it was some two-faced politician with a helicopter. Anyway, I actually saw his dog pull up next to the couch and scrunch up in that predefication position. You know what I mean? And he did it right there in front of a half a dozen onlookers. Sweet, huh? But you know, these guys don't care. They just snap their fingers and the maid comes and cleans it up. Kinda. So you might ask, these guys with all their money, why don't they have their dogs trained? Not to mention, if they're gonna have pets, why don't they get rid of their carpets and
[18:20] buy vinyl or real leather furniture? Because it's just disgusting to sit on a fabric sofa that's got obvious pet stains all over it. And you have to ask yourself, what's wrong with these people? Well, I guess it's like expat Eddie says. They're like white trash that won the lottery. Think Liberace or Elvis and Graceland. And even Elvis probably wouldn't let his dogs poop in the house. Though in his final days, I'm not so sure about him. So anyway, about dog training as a business down here. I think it could really work. As long as you market it at high-end dog grooming places and high-end vets, and give it the first world gringo touch, of course. Because you know, I've seen very infrequently someone advertising that they train dogs.
[19:06] Usually on a bulletin board at a vet's office. Always a rough looking amateur ad that looks like a fourth grader did it. No glitz, no glory. I mean, come on, it's gotta be slick and professional looking. You gotta give it the first world gringo treatment. And I'd do two more things. First, I'd cut a deal with a vet or the owner of the dog grooming place, and promised him 20 or 25% of all the clients that came through his shop. Then of course, you get him to write a handwritten endorsement that should appear in your ad, your pamphlet, and your website. Not only that, I'd offer a free dog training clinic, which would be the first lesson, on maybe a Saturday afternoon at the vet's place, or the dog grooming place, so they can meet you and see you're a real gringo or gringa. Then of course, you'll dazzle them with your brilliance by showing them all the obedience tricks that you've trained into your own dog.
[19:54] And there's a lot of other small details you can do that no one else is doing down here, believe me, that'll ensure your success. And the bottom line is, upscale Latins will pay for such a service. You just have to show them right out of the box that you're different from the local flunkies that offer a pathetic version of the same thing. It's the gringo advantage again, so use it. But I would skip the pet boutique thing, since every upscale mall has one. And by the way, one of the saddest things I see down here is when people have long-haired dogs, like Alaskan Huskies and German Shepherds. They do not do well in hot tropical climates, but Latins are sometimes single-mindedly stupid. But I must say, if you live in the Altiplano, those special places with an altitude of 3500 feet or more, where it's almost always in the range of 55 to about 80 degrees,
[20:42] well then, if you have one of those long-haired dogs like a German Shepherd, no problem at all. But since the Altiplano only makes up about 5% of Latin America, chances are most expats are going to be near sea level, where you're going to get some days of 90, 95 and even 100 degrees with killer humidity. And that's torture for any animal with long hair, including the human animal. And speaking of pets again, you can get any breed down here. And yes, every medium and large-sized city have their own dog, cat and pet clubs, along with pet shows and competitions and all that stuff. And yes, they have dog and pet mills down here too, which means it's not good to buy a pet from the window of a pet store. Generally, those pets are being cranked out by mills. Now note that in the classified ad sections of every big newspaper down here,
[21:31] there's a large pet section. And in the listings under dog breeds, for example, Rottweilers, which aren't very popular down here, because they're great guard dogs and people are afraid of them. Anyway, if you look in the paper, you'll find on the same day and in the same column, one ad that might be selling three-month-old Rottweiler pups for $40, and another ad selling three-month-old Rottweilers for $1,500 each. And of course, with the expensive pups, the ad will always say, the parents are from Germany or Austria and the dad's a champion, blah, blah, blah. But remember, this is Latin America, where people are experts at pirating and forging documents. So my advice, get the $40 one. And who buys the expensive pups? Wealthy Latins with stupid money. As long as they get a nice, handsomely framed pedigree certificate
[22:18] with proper looking seals, stamps, and signatures, they've got bragging rights. But let's get back to Rebecca's email. So she asks, are there pet laws, breeding laws, leash laws, or pooper scooper laws? Well, yes and no. Meaning yes, they have those laws and no for enforcement. And if you get bit by a dog, then what? Well, if you know the owner or it's the next door neighbor dog about calling the cops or taking them to court, forget about it. And my advice, next time you see the owner, take a bite out of him, because that's about all the satisfaction you're going to get. So then you might ask, what about joggers? What can they do to protect themselves since dogs will bite? And there are a lot of street dogs, especially in big cities.
[23:04] Well, the fact is packs of dogs in big cities are usually quite timid and generally keep to themselves and don't bother people, even joggers. But since you can't count on that, what can you do? Well, sure, you can carry pepper spray or a baseball bat, but I just discovered a wonderful multipurpose tool, which I call the joggers best friend. And I'll tell you if you got this thing in your hand when you're jogging or even if you're not jogging, you may never have an animal or a person bother you again. And I won't say anything else about this, except that you should go to expatwisdom.com and click the resources tab. Now, I guarantee you, you've never seen anything like this. And though one of these things will cost you three or four hundred bucks, well, if you're out on the street worried about your safety, it could be the best money you ever spent.
[23:50] And yes, I have one. And so do a very small, smart select group of expats down here. It's one unbelievable gadget. You'll see why if you click on the resource tab. And you can bet I'll be talking about it on a future show, so stay tuned. And Rebecca, about that Brazilian girl you mentioned whose mom feeds her dog soda. Let me tell you a little story. A few months ago, I was with my mother and my sisters in Honduras and we were visiting a very nice private zoo. Not public. There's a big difference. And hanging a little bit too close to the monkeys. And when my sister was getting a photo op, one of them grabbed her $800 designer glasses and took off with them. One of the zookeepers came over with a couple of unopened plastic Coke bottles and three monkeys rushed up to him, grabbed them out of his hand,
[24:36] twisted the tops off and just started downing the stuff. Then all the monkeys converged and started fighting over the coke. Meanwhile, the guy easily retrieved the glasses from the dirt. And I've got some very cool pictures of that too. Then later, the zookeeper told me that the monkeys are addicted to Coca-Cola. And if each of those six monkeys didn't get his coke fix once a day, they get real ornery and start biting each other. So yes, that day I met six coke addicts who were behind bars. And finally, Rebecca comments that, in some of my last shows, I seemed a bit over the top regarding the window closing on people wanting to expat from the states. She thought I was overplaying it to sell seminar seats. Well, first of all, I don't need to do seminars. In fact, I never intended to get into the seminar business at all.
[25:24] And I only do them by popular demand. And in fact, it kind of makes me feel for about a month out of the year that I'm back on that first world treadmill. So if I never do another seminar, that'd be okay with me. But if enough people email me and the list gets big enough, then as long as I'm still enjoying it myself, I'll do another. And if she detected a kind of a frantic panic in my voice about getting the hell out of the states, in fact, I'd say I haven't pushed it far enough. Now, I haven't said much about this, but about a year ago, I developed this step-by-step program on just how to do that. Meaning, moving your ass and your assets out of big brotherland. Some of you might have that program. It's called the Five Flags. So I'm asking, what's your comfort level like up in the states right now?
[26:10] Because in the not so distant future, you're going to be longing for those good old days when Johnny on the Expat files was advising to get the hell out of Dodge when you were actually able to do it. Meaning, with your ass and your assets still intact. And I promise you, that will not be the case in the very near future. So if you want to understand how serious this problem really is, you should by all means try to listen to Richard Martin on prn.fm. And after you listen to him for about 15 minutes, you're going to think my discussions about leaving are really understated. And Richard Martin is not just blabbering either. He's got all the facts and figures and data to back up everything he says. And his show is called the Wake Up Call on prn.fm. And I know quite a big percentage of you guys are listening to him already,
[26:57] but from what Rebecca's email said, I don't think she's tuned in yet. And personally, I listen to every one of his shows. So Rebecca, if you think what I'm saying scares you, if you don't plan on leaving soon, you ain't seen nothing yet. Now just one more thing before I finish today. Don't forget to check expatwisdom.com because in a week or so, I'm going to have that special Latin American healthcare report, I promised you, just about everything an expat wants to know about obtaining first world healthcare in Latin America. So be sure to check that out. And the other free reports available on expatwisdom.com. You've been listening to The Expat Files, living in Latin America, coming to you twice a week from somewhere south of the border.
[27:43] Email me, theexpatfiles at gmail.com. And don't forget to check out expatwisdom.com to sign up for your free reports on Latin America. See you next time. No es vemos.