#218 – The Expat Files: Wisdom, Challenges, and Culture in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wonder My thoughts ever stray Hi everybody I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files Living in Latin America the show that tells you what it's really like to live work play and or retire in Latin America I tell it just like it is so let's get started Now I want to start today by reporting on my upcoming expat wisdom seminar that will be taking place in Guatemala in mid-January About three weeks from the time you're hearing this now What I'm sure you don't know is that what I do

[00:45] When people come in for the seminar as I go down to the airport and picking up myself in fact no matter what time or day They arrive unless of course they push it in come in at midnight or in the wee hours I always show up right at the airport Sometimes with our seminar lawyer Jose and sometimes with one or more of our great bilingual translator ladies Who really are a great addition to our expat wisdom seminar crew just ask anyone who's ever attended anyway? The thing is people come in from all parts of the world for the seminar and oftentimes They'll show up a week or two or even three weeks earlier than the seminar starts well That's a okay with me because if that happens I'll still pick them up at the airport set them up with a terrific off the tourist trail itinerary along with some cheap But nice transportation and hotels depending on their preferences of course

[01:31] Then I'll send them on their way And that's usually the last time I see him before they roll back into town for the seminar Yep, no matter which far-flung points they take off to in Central America They always roll back in for the seminar at least they have so far anyway like I said I always meet everyone at the airport when they arrive But for this seminar one of our married couples decided to do something completely different They decided to take a pickup truck and haul a camper trailer all the way down from Montreal, Canada through the states down through Mexico and finally into Guatemala and of course I made pretty much the same offer to them that whenever they landed I'd meet them here personally and get them settled well today I got that phone call And I did that meeting and because as you might imagine it was such a great and unforgettable adventure for them

[02:21] I promise in a future show that I'm gonna interview them personally because they have some stories You just won't believe now as you probably all know I don't recommend driving down here to Guatemala from anywhere up in the first world and it's not just Guatemala I don't think you should drive to but for that matter to any country in Latin America And it's not at all because of the so-called dangers of driving through Guatemala Guatemala It's not a problem at all as long as you drive during the day in fact almost all of Latin America's Perfectly fine and safe to drive through during the day as long as you're not driving a very high-end car or a late model SUV the fact is as long as your car or truck blends in no one's gonna bother you But you know that already right and the main reason I don't advise driving at night

[03:06] Is that there's so many unmarked hazards and potholes that if you're not intimately familiar with the road you're liable to trash your tires Your axles are worse now as far as this couple that drove down from Canada They actually left in October and have been taking their good sweet time about it stopping to stay at various Camps sites and hanging out in the area for a while until they felt like going on to the next leg of the journey and it's great That you could find these campsites on the internet Even in third world countries that takes a lot of the stress out of driving through parts unknown And when you hit a campsite like that, you've kind of got an instant family or community now I remember camping a few times like that as a kid and You'd pull up to a campsite and you wouldn't know until you walk through the gate whether the place was luxury or a white trash dump

[03:52] Well these days with the internet. It's completely different now you can go online and read actual client reviews of a place and See photos of these campsites before you even get there and these days if you have any one of those GPS systems with a map Locator you're just never gonna get lost and you'll be able to monitor where you are and the road hazards and the turns and the Angles and the road inclines every step of the way And that's just what this couple from Canada did and actually when you think about it These guys were pretty brave down here. They'd say cajones grandes big balls Now, let me just give you a quick update on what they found some really good information for anyone Contemplating doing the same thing After all imagine how much money you would save if you bought a cheap trailer up in the states and you came down here to

[04:43] Latin America not knowing exactly where you wanted to settle which makes a camper trailer a Great option to roam or explore and I hear used units up in the states are going for a song the market completely sucks and it died when gas prices went over three bucks a gallon and nowadays you could pick up an extremely nice used one for five grand or so that went for 20 or 30 grand new and Think of this for a minute If you had one of those camper trailers down here and you were to build a house Let's say buy some land and start construction You could park that trailer right next to your construction site and live there the whole year It takes to build your house down here in Latin America There are absolutely no laws or regulations against doing something like that

[05:32] And I know a lot of people are thinking about a plan like that I've talked to a few myself including a new friend of mine from the East Coast USA who came to my last seminar It is a very viable option at least on paper But now let's hear a little bit from my two new friends that just came down about their Experiences driving their camper all the way down from Canada So I know you all want to hear about the scary experiences first. So here goes They reported to me that the most unsettling and horrible border crossings They encountered were not the borders in Latin America But the borders as they arrived and left the United States They said that as they arrived in the United States the border control people grilled them about how much money they were bringing into

[06:17] The country asked them to produce it so they could look at it And then they went ahead and spent a full half an hour 30 minutes Picking through their little camper trailer looking for money or contraband or whatever and the same thing happened as they were leaving The states to go to Mexico They got the big hassle in the run around there, too But they said it was easy flying through the Latin borders even though they spoke almost no Spanish now as luck would have it They did get into two little fender benders with their pickup truck in their trailer one in Mexico and one in Guatemala Even though both accidents were due to bad road conditions not to bad driving on his part In fact, he told me as a young kid on a farm. He was very experienced in driving trucks So he had no real fear at all about how to handle his pickup truck and trailer as he drove down

[07:05] But still anything can happen and it did and when they got into those two fender benders They got out of their vehicles and admitted it was their fault since it was their vehicle that slipped backwards Down a very steep gravel incline and he explained to me. It was the fact that the wheels were spinning They just wouldn't grip so he slipped backward little by little and nailed the other guys front end and what makes it worse or even crazier is that they had to negotiate with these guys with their Practically non-existent Spanish and since they hit a couple of junkers They realized they overpaid and yes, they did end up paying these guys off for the damages turns out in Mexico They paid the guy about two hundred dollars and in Guatemala around a hundred and twenty five bucks way too much

[07:52] They figured better that than waiting for the cops to come along then things really become a mess So they got through that experience All right But they also report that when they were in Mexico they hit one of those unmarked speed bumps called Tumulos and they hit it so hard that the shelving collapsed in their trailer sending food and broken bottles everywhere In fact, the lady of the pair told me you don't know what stink is until a bottle of soy sauce Saturates everything you've got in a confined space. Well, we'll take her word for it So did anything worse than that happen on the trip? Well, they did have a nice powerful pickup truck that was just made to haul a trailer like that But because there's so many mountains and valleys and terribly steep road angles and inclines They actually completely burned out a set of their brakes and had to park their trailer in a car mechanic slot

[08:42] Where they stayed overnight while the guy did a complete brake job including refinishing the discs and that was in Mexico And again, since they didn't speak any Spanish that was an adventure, too So what else happened to them? Well, I saved the best or the worst for last now I always advise against driving through Mexico day or night and if you've been reading the papers up north I don't have to tell you why well, let me tell you what happened in Mexico to my brand new seminar buddies So all you people who tell me it's fine to do that can file this for future reference They told me that as you drive through Mexico You have to stop through certain checkpoints every so often where heavily armed police and militiamen are standing by Checking your papers. Well, it turns out not so long after you pass the US

[09:30] Texas border on the Pan American highway and you all know what the Pan American highway is It's the one road that you could take all the way from Alaska down to Panama without ever having to take a detour So it's an extremely well traveled road and in pretty good condition In fact, I've driven on it hundreds of times myself But I make a point of only doing it from Guatemala to Panama. I make a point of trying to keep out of Mexico Anyway, right after you pass from Texas to Mexico not much farther on there's one of those military checkpoints So my new friends made it through that checkpoint Okay And as they're motoring along some minutes later all of a sudden a kind of a beat-up pickup truck Passes alongside of them and tries to wedge them off the road now

[10:17] Remember, this is the Pan American highway that in some spots is quite free from traffic and in other spots Instead of dead standstill like for example, if you're going through a border or passing through a big city Anyway, this car that's trying to wedge them off the road Finally pulls way out in front then pulls to a stop Perpendicular to them so they just have to stop so they pulled over to the side of the road Meanwhile traffic is pretty light. There are cars going by but at this particular point in the road They're not going by with a steady flow And what happened next just 50 miles inside Mexico from the Texas border The two guys that forced them to pull over walked up to the couple's pickup truck and pulled their guns out Now the Canadians told me that at first glance these guys appeared like military or police by the way they were dressed

[11:08] So for a second, they thought they might really be official But those kind thoughts quickly dissipated when these guys pulled their guns out and asked for some money Now my new friends Thinking that this was possibly gonna happen as these guys tried to wedge them off the road They managed to hide their wedding rings and some other valuable stuff before they actually pulled to a stop and not only that they brought four computers down and they were well-hidden and Thinking that there could be an assault somewhere along the way They were driving around with a decoy computer right out in the open just in case good idea, huh? And when these Mexican Banditos demanded some hundreds of dollars from these hapless tourists Who'd only been on Mexican soil for about less than an hour?

[11:55] Well, it turns out these guys really didn't have any cash money on them to speak of and though they did have quite a few pesos The bad guys wanted dollars not pesos So in the end they ended up giving them what they had a few hundred bucks and they weren't abused Insulted or pistol whipped or anything In fact, they said these robbers were rather polite and it turns out that after they stopped at their next trailer park in Mexico To spend the night and they got to talking to people they realized that on that particular stretch of road Everyone seemed to know about those bandits. In fact, they were told that particular robbery point was strategically placed between two of those military checkpoints and naturally Everyone including the authorities of course knew about it, but no one ever did a thing to stop it

[12:41] Everyone's got to make a living right in Mexico. That means crooks, too Not to mention the fact that my new Canadian friends told me all the way on their trip through Mexico They kept on passing caravan after caravan of police and heavily armed militia Overkill to be sure but they did give the impression that there was security around and that things were being taken care of and were somewhat under control Wrong. Oh and I forgot they told me that when they spoke to other people about the robbery They were told of course that gringos with American plates were their main targets but they did occasionally rob Mexicans to and the going rate that they'd clip you for if you were a gringo is two to three hundred bucks though if I remember right, I believe they said the crooks asked for 800 at first and

[13:30] If you were a Mexican only about 50 bucks and with the gringos, they'd want dollars and with Mexicans pesos now I've got to hand it to this couple with their trailer and their pickup truck a Couple of car accidents a robbery and a serious break problem and they still weren't deterred from coming down to them It was just a few little bumps in the road on the way to their version of paradise and true They're here for the seminar. All right, but not just that their plans are to scout around the places that I talk about all the time and Become permanent expats down here. They told me they're not going back. They understand exactly What's going on with big brother up north? Oh and just one more thing I forgot to tell you they had one other little tiny hitch along the way when they were driving through the states They completely blew the engine in their pickup truck

[14:17] But that didn't stop them from coming down either You got to love it when those kind of people come down to my seminars. No one's a bore There's never a dull moment and everyone's on their own little adventure Most to scout out their own particular version of paradise though Some come down for example to escape the clutches of big brother and for other reasons too. That's why it's not polite to ask Oh, and by the way, you might wonder what this guy does for a living. Well, like a good expat He's going low-profile, but I can't tell you this He has a line of specific software and a product that he developed That's the most popular of its kind in the world and when he and his wife rolled into town We spent some time together and I can tell you not only is he fearless He's one of the most interesting guys I've ever met and what I've told you is just a tiny sliver of what's going on in their lives

[15:07] I am gonna have him back for a live interview in a few weeks. So stay tuned for that Oh and just to tease you a little bit more the night before these guys left on their big trip down here You'll never guess who they went out to dinner with Ron Paul and By the way, I still have two spots open for that expat wisdom seminar So if you want to come down to get a fast track education on how to live the first world lifestyle on a half to a quarter of what it costs to do so in the First world and at the same time meet hang with and network with very cool Like-minded people like the couple I just told you about just go to expat wisdom calm and click on the seminar link I've got two spots open and there's still time to sign up and now I'd like to read you something that came in from

[15:54] JC our expat wisdom sometime correspondent and good friend He writes Johnny. Here's an article that once again validates your opinions and your shows This was posted today on drudgereport.com, which is a huge headline site up here. Take care and Merry Christmas sign Joe You know, this article says it also I'm gonna read some of it to you Just as a counterpoint to all of you guys out there Especially you expat wannabes who are sitting on the fence up there in Cleveland and need a little extra shove to get you on down here and this article just might give you that kick in the pants and actually it goes beyond validating what I've said in some of my past shows and the title says Latin Americans ranked as happiest people on planet and

[16:40] It's from December 19th 2012 by Michael Weinstein of the Associated Press. It says The world's happiest people aren't in Qatar the richest country by most measures They aren't in Japan the nation with the highest life expectancy Canada with its chart topping percentage of college graduates They don't even make the top ten a poll released Wednesday of nearly a hundred and fifty thousand people around the world Says seven of the world's ten countries with the most upbeat attitudes are in Latin America many of the seven do poorly in traditional measures of well-being like Guatemala a country torn by decades of civil war it says here Guatemala sits just above Iraq on the United Nations Human Development Index a

[17:29] composite of life expectancy education and per capita income But it ranks seventh with the happiness factor in positive emotions Quote in Guatemala It's a culture of friendly people who are always smiling said Luz Castillo a 30 year old surfing instructor Despite all the problems that were facing were surrounded by natural beauty that lets us get away from it all a gallop poll Asked about a thousand people in each of 148 countries last year if they were well rested had been treated with respect Smiled or laughed a lot learned or did something interesting and felt feelings of enjoyment the previous day in Panama and Paraguay 85% of those polled said yes to all five putting those countries at the top of the list, too

[18:19] They were followed closely by El Salvador, Venezuela Trinidad and Tobago, Thailand, Guatemala, the Philippines, Ecuador and Costa Rica The people least likely to report positive emotions lived in Singapore they rank at the bottom of the happiness list and Singapore is first world expensive, too. Ouch. I wonder if Richard knows that Anyway, the people that were least likely to report positive emotions had lived in Singapore The wealthy and orderly city-state that ranks among the most developed in the world Other wealthy countries also sat surprisingly low on the list Germany and France tied with the poor African state of Somaliland for 47th place

[19:08] prosperous nations can be deeply unhappy ones and Poverty-stricken ones are often awash in positivity or at least a close approximation of it It's a paradox with serious implications for a relatively new and controversial field called happiness Economics that seeks to improve government performance by adding people's perceptions of their personal Satisfaction to more traditional measures such as life expectancy per capita income and graduation rates Hmm Now let me ask you how many times have you asked yourself the question how satisfied am I with my own life and Believe it or not every single expat that I know down here has asked him or herself the same question when they live back up

[19:56] in the States Why do you think they're down here now? But let's dig in a little more into this happiness article Now it says here for the nine least positive countries some were not surprising like Iraq, Yemen Afghanistan and Haiti for others at the bottom Armenia at the second lowest spot along with Georgia and Lithuania now get this it turns out Feeling unhappy is part of the national mentality here says one Sociologist in the Armenian capital He says Armenians actually like being mournful and it's part of their national character since there have been so many upheavals and sorrows in the nation's history and Yup, you guessed it Armenians have a super high alcoholism and suicide rate

[20:47] Now it turns out the United States was number 33 in positive outlook on that list of 148 countries and Latin America's biggest populations and economies Mexico and Brazil Sat more than 20 places further down the list putting them way down in the 50s on that list Which indicates that the smaller Latin American countries like Guatemala, Salvador Nicaragua, Honduras Peru and Bolivia etc as opposed to the much larger Latin countries Have a much more positive outlook and rate themselves much much happier And you know the fact that Mexico and Brazil place way down on that list Reinforces what I've been saying about those two countries I just don't recommend them as good places for permanent expats now The article goes on to say that some Latin Americans say that the poll hits something fundamental about their countries in general

[21:39] They have a habit of focusing on Positives such as friends family and religion despite the daily lives that can be grindingly difficult and Then the article ends with some very nasty things to say about Singapore. Sorry about that Richard. It says Singapore sits 32 places higher than Panama on the human development index But at the opposite end of the happiness list for example listen to this from the mouth of a working-class Singapore resident things weren't looking too good Wednesday to Richard Lowe a 33 year old businessman in the prosperous Asian metropolis. He says quote We work like dogs and get paid peanuts There's hardly any time for holidays or just to relax in general because you're always thinking ahead

[22:29] When the next deadline or meeting is there's hardly a fair sense of work life balance here He said and then the article goes on to say in Paraguay Tied with Panama as the most positive country street vendor Maria Solis says tough Economic conditions were no reason to despair She says quote life is short and there are no reasons to be sad because even if we were rich There would still be problems This is a quote from a street vendor selling herbs for making tea now You should keep in mind that Paraguay does far worse than Panama on economic matters yet according to the poll They're equal on the happiness scale Anyway, that's the gist of the article Now let me tell you about another important survey that came out November 21st

[23:18] 2012 and if you want I can give you the links to this stuff so you can read about it yourself in detail Anyway, this latest major countrywide survey ranks Singapore as the least emotional country in the world and believe me I'm not picking on this country because Richard Martin lives there I really wish it were otherwise he gives it very high marks and I'm sure it's perfectly fine for him and his friends Anyway in this major survey, it says that Singaporeans are the least likely in the world to report Experiencing emotions of any kind on a daily basis on the other hand Filipinos are the most emotional people in the world and not surprisingly the country population showing the least emotions on a daily basis are also the very same countries that are lowest on the

[24:05] Happiness index and the 10 on the very bottom of the emotion list are Singapore, Georgia, Lithuania, Russia Madagascar, Ukraine Belarus, Kazakhstan, Nepal and Kyrgyzstan and here's the list of the most emotional societies Philippines, El Salvador, Bahrain, Oman Colombia, Chile, Costa Rica, Canada, Guatemala, Bolivia, Ecuador, Dominican Republic, Peru and Nicaragua and Notice that 10 out of those 14 countries are Latin American countries So all you expats and expat wannabes out there be prepared for a flood of emotions When you end up down here in Latin America In fact, it really surprised me when I first got down here

[24:53] Latin America is a place where men cry on a regular basis Now you can take to the bank the fact that US males of non Latin extraction Rarely cry and that's especially true when your parents are of Northern European extraction In fact in my own family, which is of German extraction I've only seen grown men cry at funerals and only when the guy is very close to the deceased Like a mother or a father or a wife or a best friend But down here in Latin America grown men can turn on the faucet at will All you have to do is switch on one of the local soap opera channels or watch a Latin movie or television show And you'll see what I mean in every single episode You'll see at least one Latin guy crying his ass off over something or another and by the way the crocodile tears are usually coming

[25:42] Because he's cheated on a woman and he's trying to convince her that he'll never do it again fat chance But it generally works Anyway contrast that with a US soap opera or television series and once again You practically never see a grown man cry and even American actresses on those shows Cry about a tenth as much as a Latin actress in that respect Latin TV is a great reflection of their general society Just as first world television reflects how screwed up We are up there and regarding the happiness and just the basic likeability factor of Latin's You know down here in Latin America when two people talk to each other on the street or in the store even complete strangers Latins are just terrific Lee polite It's something that I've never experienced to a great extent with other cultures

[26:30] for example if a Latin person is kind of lost and he pulls over to the side of the road and asks somebody where the nearest gas station or Supermarket is for example The person will tell him and nine out of ten times the person in the car will say gracias Muyamable which means thank you. You're very kind now those two words Muyamable which translate to very kind are used over and over again in daily conversation very sincerely, too Now I ask you when is the last time you heard someone up in the States say to you? Thanks for that You're very kind. Yeah, maybe if you live in a town of 400 like Hooterville or Mayberry They'll be extra polite like that, but on the normal streets of the u.s. Uh-uh. No way

[27:19] So here's a little exercise for you expat wannabes up there next time someone helps you out or gives you directions After you say thanks try following up with you're very kind though. Be careful that person might just drop dead of a heart attack South of the border down Mexico way That's listening to the expat files living in Latin America Coming to you each week from somewhere south of the border and don't forget you can email me on anything at all about Latin America The expat files at gmail.com See you next time