Episode Summary
In this episode of The Expat Files, Johnny Mueller dives into the cultural significance of cars in Latin America, comparing it to the United States. He discusses the emotional connection Latin Americans have with their vehicles, the impact of immigration on cultural expressions, and the challenges expats face with vehicle safety and regulations. From the status of car ownership to the prevalence of junk cars and the importance of verifying car titles, Johnny provides an unfiltered look at life on the road in Latin America.
Johnny begins by introducing the podcast as a platform that provides an unfiltered view of life in Latin America, contrasting it with the idealized portrayals found in travel magazines and websites. He acknowledges that the show will include his usual tangents due to his short attention span. The segment then transitions into a discussion about the cultural significance of cars in Latin America, comparing it to the United States. Johnny highlights the deep emotional connection Latin Americans have with their cars, often treating them as extensions of their identity. He contrasts this with the American obsession with new cars, especially among teenagers, and criticizes the lack of taste in car modifications and the cultural context of these behaviors. He also touches on the impact of immigration on these cultural expressions, particularly among Latin Americans in the U.S.
Johnny then discusses the state of cars in Latin America, highlighting the disparity in car ownership and maintenance between the wealthy and the poor. He notes that owning a car is a significant status symbol, especially for the poor who often escape to the U.S. due to lack of opportunities. He describes the poor as 'Corrientes,' a term that is considered an insult. Johnny also explains that most cars in Latin America are in poor condition, with only a small percentage being well-maintained. He emphasizes that even the wealthy have cars that are not in perfect condition, but they are better maintained. Johnny also talks about the common practice of using used or retreaded tires, which is more affordable for the poor. He mentions that many drivers in Latin America rarely have enough money for gas and often resort to using plastic jugs to collect gas from others.
The segment continues with Johnny discussing the peculiarities of car ownership among Latin American expats, particularly their disregard for tire warnings and the prevalence of wrecked cars imported from the United States. He highlights the cost-effectiveness of these repairs in Latin America and the risks involved in purchasing such vehicles. The segment also touches on the importance of verifying car titles and mileage to avoid buying restored wrecks.
Johnny then discusses the challenges expats face with vehicle safety and regulations in Latin America. He highlights how the use of kilometers versus miles can indicate whether a car is new or a wreck, and how the presence of a first-world dealer logo on the trunk can be a dead giveaway. He also talks about the prevalence of unsafe, junk cars on the roads, which often result in accidents and pose a significant risk to expats. Johnny mentions the lack of effective vehicle inspection systems in most Latin American countries, with only a few attempting to implement them, which ultimately failed due to the high number of old, polluting vehicles on the road. He also touches on the recent legislation banning the importation of used cars over 10 years old, which he criticizes as an example of political ignorance, as importers typically avoid such cars due to their low value and high costs of transportation and bribes.
In this segment, Johnny Mueller discusses the challenges expats face in Latin America, particularly regarding the poor state of vehicles and the cultural attitudes toward cleanliness and car maintenance. He highlights the prevalence of outdated, poorly maintained cars, the lack of basic safety features like functioning seat belts, and the surprising pride that local drivers take in their vehicles despite their condition. Johnny also contrasts the cleanliness standards in Latin America with those in the first world, noting that expats often adopt extreme measures to maintain hygiene, such as using beach towels in their cars. He emphasizes that while the environment may not meet first-world standards, expats can manage their own spaces with obsessive cleanliness, but must accept the reality of the local conditions outside their homes.
Finally, Johnny discusses the cultural significance of religious stickers and car brands in Latin America. He highlights how certain religious symbols, like the Jesus and Mary stickers and the Jesus fish emblem, are popular and often used as a form of expression. He then transitions to the topic of car brands, noting that in Latin America, people have a strong hierarchy of car brands, with Toyota and Honda being considered the best. Johnny explains that even if a Toyota or Honda is in poor condition, owners take pride in it, often displaying the brand name prominently. He also provides advice on buying cars in Latin America, suggesting that ads mentioning trade-in vehicles may indicate potential issues with the car's reliability.
Topics
Cultural significance of cars in Latin America, Comparison of car culture between Latin America and the United States, Impact of immigration on cultural expressions, Car ownership in Latin America, Status symbol of car ownership, Poor maintenance of cars, Use of used and retreaded tires, Financial struggles of drivers, Imported wrecked cars, Temporary spare tires, Vehicle repair costs, Buying used cars
Chapters
00:00:00 Opening 00:00:07 Introduction to the Show's Purpose 00:00:08 Introduction to the Show's Content 00:00:13 Introduction to the Show's Content 00:00:13 Johnny's Critique of Travel Portrayals 00:00:18 Johnny's Critique of Travel Portrayals 00:00:22 Johnny's Critique of Travel Portrayals 00:00:24 Introduction to the Segment on Car Culture 00:04:55 The Significance of Car Ownership in Latin America 00:05:25 The State of Car Maintenance in Latin America 00:07:01 The Financial Struggles of Drivers in Latin America 00:09:43 Temporary Spare Tires and Disregard for Warnings 00:09:59 The Mystery of Multiple Temporary Spares 00:11:13 Imported Wrecked Cars and Their Business Model 00:14:15 Verifying Car Titles and Mileage to Avoid Wrecked Cars 00:14:38 Identifying New vs. Wreck Cars by Kilometers and Dealer Logos 00:15:39 The Problem with Unsafe Junk Cars on the Road 00:16:36 Lack of Effective Vehicle Inspection Systems in Latin America 00:19:19 The Cost of Crossing Borders in Latin America 00:19:25 The Ignorance and Corruption of Latin Politicians 00:19:47 The State of Cars in Latin America 00:24:01 Religious Stickers in Latin America 00:24:53 Car Brand Hierarchy in Latin America 00:26:25 Cultural Pride in Car Ownership 00:27:02 Buying Cars in Latin America
Transcript
Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.
[00:03] Hi everybody, I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America. The show that tells you what it's really like to live, work, play and or retire in Latin America. I tell it just like it is, not the version they give you in those glossy travel magazines or the picture they paint for you in those international traveler websites where they're only trying to sell you something. What's it really like for expats living in Latin America? Well, if you stick around a while, you'll find out. So let's get started. In response to so many emails I've been getting about how to buy a car, sell a car, should they bring one down, how much should they pay, how not to get ripped off, how do they know that the paper works all in order and all that stuff, today once and for all I hope to give you some definitive answers. And of course that'll include my usual wanderings off the topic, since as you know by now I
[00:52] have a really short attention span. Let me start out by saying, cars down here in Latin America, like up in the first world are more than a means of transportation. Now everybody in the first world knows that guys love their cars. The moment a guy gets one, usually when he's 16 years old, it's his little baby and it doesn't matter if it's a piece of junk. To him it's mobility. And I know a lot has changed since I was a kid, I remember I bought my first car for 250 bucks. But back then, even if it was considered a clunker, if it didn't look halfway decent, at least from a distance, you'd be embarrassed to drive it on the road. You'd never have a cracked window or a dented bumper, a headlight or a tail light out, or what my sister would call a smooshed in fender. That would be just way too white trash. Besides, first world cops wouldn't let you get away with some of that stuff, like the
[01:39] cracked windshield. There's a $100 fine, probably more. And god forbid you had a different color fender on the car, or visible bondo or primer. That was ultra low class. But now in 2012 I can't believe how things have changed. The economy's crashed, people are pessimistic and thoroughly depressed. Nobody's got any spare cash, yet when a middle American kid turns 16, he doesn't want a used car. And heaven forbid he's got to use mommies or daddies. No way. These days, 16 year old American kids, they're so full of themselves they need a brand new car. Somehow they think it's a rite of passage, and they'll whine and scream and cry if they don't get one. And parents are so stupid or weak, they usually buckle. And recently I was talking to a lady from up in the states, whose daughter just came
[02:26] up a driving age, and of course, she wants a brand new car. But she doesn't want just any old car, she wants a Mini Cooper, because well that's all the rage now I hear. And since her friends all have them, if she has anything with a lesser coolness factor, well I guess she'd just die of humiliation, wouldn't she? You know what I say, let her die of humiliation, it'd be good for her. And to tell you the truth, I don't know if mommy caved in or not, but I bet she did. And you know after hearing so many stories like that, even similar ones coming from my own family up in Chicago, sometimes I really believe the United States does deserve the comeuppance it's gonna get. And though the politicians and the bankers are mostly to blame, the average American should look in the mirror once in a while too. So why did I start this segment out by saying that young Americans have a love affair with
[03:12] their cars? Well that's because down here in Latin America, Latins have love affairs with their cars too. Now I'm sure you must have seen in big city USA, cars that are tricked out way beyond the point of embarrassment. You know, low riders and cars with fur on the dashboard and stuff. By the way, the neon license plate thing is my pick for the uneducated idiot class, whose owners by coincidence are almost always low class Latinos, Latino males of course. And you tell me why is it that most passengers in those cars wear those short baggy ass-cracked gangsta pants? I wonder how I'd look in a pair of those. Halloween is coming up you know. So up in the big city US, there are so many cars that Latin boys are so very proud of, that you and I would be beyond embarrassed to have sitting in our own driveways.
[04:02] Don't you sometimes wonder where that extreme lack of taste comes from in the Latin culture? Now I'm not saying that I was born with any special savoir faire myself. I still have a few embarrassing disco outfits in my closet too. But you know what, they're never going to see the light of day. But as for these Latin boys and their cars, somebody please tell me, where does that dominant gene for bad taste come from? And you see these cars all over the Latin ghettos throughout the US. That's what happens consistently when poor illegal immigrants slip into the US and start making some money. They buy the car of their dreams and turn it into a billboard for bad taste. Now the thing is, you see, young Latins in the states that have these cars, and remember these are mostly illegals, or kids of illegals, that were born in the states so they are American
[04:50] citizens, but they're stuck in a Latin ghetto where education is not highly prized. But having a car, any kind of car, definitely is. Now these Latins that have cars in the states could never afford a car at all if they lived back in the home country. Because, like I mentioned before, the only Latins they'd take a chance and escape to the US are the poor and uneducated that basically don't have anything to lose. And down here in Latin America, those people are called Corrientes, and low class Latins take it as an insult when you call them Corriente, so it's not a word you throw around lightly. Them's fighting words down here. But it is a very good descriptive term for the poor people down here and the illegal population that escapes to the states. Now down here in Latin America, the men also love their cars.
[05:36] But as you drive around, you'll notice that only maybe 5% of all the cars are in really good condition. That wealthy 2 or 3% that have their really nice cars, have their maintenance men and bodyguards keep a nice shine on them. You know, they get washed every couple days and get a wax job once in a while. And the wealthy classes never drive around with dented side panels and bumpers, or with burnt out lights or broken windshields. Not that you can notice from a distance anyway. Although on close inspection, you'll notice a lot of door dings and scratches from parking lots. That happens to everyone down here like I mentioned before. And that happens even if your car is only a few months old. So get used to it. Remember, if you do end up buying a new or late model car down here, if you don't have a thick skin, you'll cry a lot. On first inspection, about 5% of the cars down here actually look pretty nice from a
[06:25] distance. Then you got about another third of the cars on the road that are anywhere from 5 to 15 years old. Most of them decent transportation. But if up in the states they'd be considered the spare car, you know, the sun baked one with the faded paint, you really don't want to take out too much in public. The one you take to the hardware store when you're going to buy some cement or a couple of sacks of lawn fertilizer. Now these cars are as common as can be. They're not tricked out like low riders with special paint jobs or anything like that. But if they had the money, they'd surely add a dab of expensive bad taste like young latin men do to their cars up in the first world. The fact is the people that own these vehicles feel really lucky that they have a car. That they don't have to ride the chicken bus. And it's rare that the owners of these vehicles even carry car insurance.
[07:14] Remember, they barely have enough money for gas. Now I ask you, when was the last time you ran out of gas and had to hoof it to a gas station with an empty coke bottle? That hasn't happened to me since I was in high school. You know, back in the day when you'd put a buck or 50 cents or even a quarter's worth of gas in your tank some time, and you weren't even embarrassed about it. Well that's what it's like down here. Here it's common for people to put a buck's worth of gas in their car. At least in the old days you could get a gallon for that, these days you get a quart. But I tell you, more than half of latin american drivers are in that same boat all the time. I know for a fact if you drive through any medium or large size latin american city, I'll bet you a franklin that after 2 or 3 hours you see someone either hoofing it to a gas station with a plastic jug, or just sitting alongside his dead car waiting for
[08:03] someone to come along and offer him their empty coke can. And you know it always amazes me that with latins running out of gas so often, and so predictably, they don't even carry anything in their car that can hold gas. But you know that really shouldn't surprise me because the majority of latin american drivers don't even carry a serviceable spare tire. Because you see it's like this, when they wear out their tires to such a degree that they can't be used anymore, and when the nylon or steel radio belts start sticking through, they start using the spare tire as a permanent tire. But they don't replace the spare. You know I like to talk about lag time in latin america and how you can take advantage of it. Well here's a great example, though I don't know how you can take advantage of it quite yet. Now if you remember many years ago in the states, there was a huge used tire and retread
[08:51] market. You might not even know what retreads are, they just don't exist anymore in the states. But down here in latin america, I think half the cars down here are running on tires that they bought used, or as retreads. Every little corner mechanic that offers to fix a flat tire also sells used and retreaded tires too. Now a used tire can cost anywhere from 5 to 20 bucks maybe, and a retread tire can cost you maybe 25, whereas a rock bottom price for a really cheap brand new tire might start at 40 bucks. So it's obvious what you buy if you rarely have gas money. When the rubber meets the road down here, it's used rubber. And here's another thing you almost never see up in the states. Down here, latins don't realize those goofy midget temporary spares are actually spares,
[09:40] because occasionally you'll see them used as real tires. They never take them off, even though they've all got big stickers on them that say something like do not use for more than 50 miles. But you see, latins don't pay attention to those kind of warnings. Besides, they're in english, so they just run their cars on those funky little spares until they disintegrate. Now here's something I can never understand, and I don't really know how it's possible. There are times when you have to do a double take when you notice the cars got not one, but two of those funky little temporary spares. How is that possible? How do you get two of them? They only issue you one per car, don't they? But that's not all. One day about four or five months ago, expat eddie pulled out his little camera and said hey johnny, you want a good laugh? Check this out. And he showed me a picture of a black toyota yaris with four of those funky temporary spares
[10:30] on it. And you know, all eddie and I could think was look, this car is jet black and these tires come black. The rims are always painted black, so the owner obviously thought the tires would be cool looking with his black car. Even though if you've ever checked one out, you'd see it's like a motorcycle tire, which shows you how clueless these latin car owners really are. Okay, so anyway, I talked about the rich people in their cars, about 3-5% of the cars on the road. Pretty much like the cars you see in an average suburb in the states. Then you've got that 40-50% of people with those 5-15 year old cars. And this might come as a surprise to you, but I'd say that more than half of those cars were total or partial wrecks coming from up in the United States. And latins down here buy them online from those US car auction companies that sell wrecks
[11:18] almost exclusively. Now of course up in the states people can buy those cars too, but the vast majority are bought by latins who are in the business of taking them down as wrecks to their home countries mostly in Mexico and Central America. And why not? They have very good mechanics and body men working for 300 bucks a month. And those same mechanics and body men up in the first world would cost 10 times as much. So it's a very good business, provided you could get the wrecked cars down here. So how do they do it and what makes it so worthwhile? Well for example, for a total wreck it might take a mechanic and a body man, that's 2 guys, one whole month to put Humpty Dumpty back together again. Now down here in Latin America that would cost you about $600 in labor. That's $300 a piece, 2 guys for one month.
[12:07] Now if that car stayed up in the US and got fixed, you'd have to pay them $6,000 to $7,000 in salary for that month. So when you bring it down to Latin America you save about $5,000 or $6,000 in costs. And that's why some of these cars aren't really total wrecks, it's just that insurance companies up in the US decided the labor costs just wouldn't be worth it. And that's how they end up on the auction block. For example, you could have a 2010 Audi A4 all fixed up and looking new down in Latin America for about $13,000 total, one that was listed as a total wreck at a US auction. Now your standard blue book on a car like that might be $20,000. So if you've only got 13 grand into it, you can see why that would be big business in any country. And just a small percentage of the business is in the higher end cars like Audis, BMWs
[12:56] and Mercedes. It's even bigger business for lower end cars that are more affordable like middle of the road Toyotas, Hondas, Nissans and Mazdas. Now like I said there's a lot of those cars down here, almost an oversupply. And you see them in the classifieds and on the roadsides with prices on their windshields. But personally I always advise against buying a car like that, even though they're a lot cheaper. A lot cheaper than what you might ask. Well I mean a lot cheaper than the same car bought at a local agency. Like an authorized Toyota dealership. That's because these cars, although they look really good, there's something not quite perfect about a car that's been wrecked. Ask any body man or mechanic. And they come with no guarantee, so anything that might pop up later that annoys you like
[13:43] for example a steering problem where the car pulls one way or the other. That car might pull like that because the frame just might be a bit twisted from that big accident. But you'll never know that, because these cars come with no guarantee and no paperwork. And another thing, if you buy a car that was brought down from the US, you'll never know if the mileage is correct or not. I bet at least half of them are rolled back. But then again the odometer could read the right mileage, you just never know. So bottom line when you buy a car down here, if you don't want a car that was a restored wreck from up in the states, look on the title and make sure it was imported by one of the dealerships like Toyota or Nissan. Now here's another trick if you don't want one of those restored wrecks. Now in the paper or on the internet, wherever you found the car, they'll always state the
[14:30] mileage or the kilometers on it, right? If they give it to you in kilometers, it was definitely imported by an authorized agency like Toyota or Nissan. So if it's in kilometers, at least you know it came into the country new and not a wreck. And you know that because every country in Latin America except Belize uses kilometers on the highway. And that means cars have kilometers on their speedometers and odometers too. And in the US it's miles of course, which is a dead giveaway to a car that came down as a wreck. Now if you keep your eyes open, there's another dead giveaway showing that the car came down from the US probably as a wreck. If you notice somewhere on the trunk of the car, there'll be the name of the original dealer that it was first purchased from in the US, usually a decal or a chrome logo.
[15:17] You know, like Jim's Forest Park Auto, Oakland, California. Every car dealer puts his logo on the back of a new car, just like that. So look for a first world logo in English. It's a dead giveaway. And by the way, sometimes you'll see that first world logo embossed or impressed in the license plate frame. So look out for that one too. Now I want to talk about that other 50% of the cars and trucks in Latin America, the ones that are obvious junks. These are the vehicles that really bother most of us expats. And I do understand that people have the right to drive what they want. But the problem is, like Ralph Nader says, these vehicles are unsafe at any speed, and you and I have to be on the road with these idiots. Now I don't care if they kill themselves, in fact they might be doing the world a favor.
[16:05] But the fact is, that most often when there is an accident down here, one of those pieces of crap was involved. And a huge percentage of the time it's their fault. Why? Because they've got shattered windows, missing lights, bald tires, faulty brakes, you name it. And every day as you and I drive down the road, one of these guys is going to be in front, back, or on the side of us. In fact I can't tell you how many times I almost rear ended or sideswiped one of these guys whose vehicle had not one single light in the front or the back. Now that drives expats crazy. Now one thing you have to know, down here in Latin America they have no drivers testing stations. Oh I'd take that back, there are four countries that have tried it, the usual first world wannabe suspects, Costa Rica, Panama, Argentina, and Chile. But it backfired. Now I remember in Costa Rica I had to take my car to a drivers testing station and have
[16:54] it looked at, and if the lights didn't work or it blew too much smoke, well you were supposed to have a month to get it fixed, and you'd take it to a gas station and they'd tinker with it and you'd pay them 25 or 50 bucks and they'd give you a certificate that said it was fixed or that they worked on it. And although you could fix the lights and stuff they never could fix the pollution problems. Not when the average vehicle is over 10 years old and blowing smoke like a politician. Obviously the catalytic converters which have a limited lifespan are all blown out and that's by the time a car is 6 or 7 years old. And nobody, I mean nobody, ever gets a new catalytic converter because they cost 500 to 1000 bucks. And because of that, I bet only 20% of Latin American cars would pass US pollution tests. They won't even come close. And that's what Costa Rica and Argentina and Panama and Chile found out when they tried
[17:44] to be a little bit too first world and passed their own law saying you had to have your car checked for pollution once a year. And as they started testing they soon found out they would have to prohibit more than 50% of the existing cars on the road today. So what are they doing about it now? Well I'll tell you, nothing. Those countries may be paying lip service to it. Though the last time I was in Costa Rica, somehow they eliminated the vehicle emission inspections completely. But now I hear it's on again. Thanks to some kind of big grant from the US government. Don't you just want to punch a politician in the face sometimes? And what about the other 16 Latin American countries? There are zero, I mean no, vehicle inspections at all. Because if there were they'd have to pull at least half the vehicles off the road permanently.
[18:32] Now just recently, quite a few Latin American countries have passed legislation prohibiting the importation of any used cars over 10 years old. Which really shows you how ignorant Latin politicians are. Because you see historically, people who brought cars down here from those US auctions I was talking about, they never bought cars over 10 years old. Why should they? The importers aren't stupid. Why would they even bother bringing a car in that was over 10 years old? The blue book on a car like that would be next to nothing. Plus they gotta haul it all the way down through Mexico. And I hear nowadays it costs about $600 in bribes to get one down. Not that it's illegal or anything to bring a car down or that you're doing anything sneaky. It's just that the Mexican cops are in collusion. And they've got 25 departments or states in Mexico.
[19:19] And each time you cross one of those borders, you pay a bribe. Someday I'll go into more detail on that because it's pretty interesting. But for now, let me just repeat that Latin politicians are both ignorant and corrupt. And they show it nearly every time they write legislation. Whereas first world politicians are just corrupt. They may seem ignorant, but they know exactly what they're doing. But let me get back to that 50% of the cars in Latin America that would never pass an inspection in the first world, not by a long shot. Now just because 50% of the cars in Latin America are absolutely disgusting pieces of crap. And when you're offered a ride in a death trap like that, you really have to bite your tongue. Not that you don't appreciate the gesture. It's that you don't want to set your nice first world rear end on that disgusting upholstery. We're talking about threadbare or even ripped upholstery with stain after stain on it.
[20:09] And I know a lot of first world expats who won't go home and sit on their own furniture after riding in a local's car. They change clothes first. And as for me, 20 some years ago when I first got down here. When I found out a couple of my new expat friends would do that, I used to think they were a bit too excessive that they were germphobic or something. Imagine a guy like Howie Mandel down here. He won't even shake anybody's hand. Anyway, after living down here in Latin America a few years, I started thinking that some of those germphobic expat friends of mine weren't so crazy after all. Now this might sound nutty to you, but a lot of my expat friends who have new or light new cars. They decided their car seats needed some big time protection. So one of the first things they did when they bought their cars was to buy some cheap beach
[20:58] towels at the local Walmart. Color coordinated of course. And they lay them on the front and back seat at all times. That's because when you are an expat down here and you own a business, like for example Eddie who has a number of employees, he's a nice guy so he's forever giving one employee or another a ride home or a lift, especially during the rainy season. Now a lot of times I'll be with Eddie myself and he'll be driving and he'll say, oh there goes so and so over there walking down the street. He's my second shift cook at the Zona Rosa restaurant. And Eddie'll roll his window down and say, hey where you going, I'll give you a lift. Of course he'll hop in. How could they refuse the boss man? And if it's the rainy season, the guy's always soaked. And then of course if your seats aren't protected on your nice new car. But obviously like in the first world, one could get very carried away with the cleanliness
[21:47] thing. And you have to know right off the bat if you're coming down to Latin America, things in general are not nearly up to the sanitation and cleanliness standards that you're used to. Unless you're white trash, then you'll fit right in. As you might have noticed if you've ever been on vacation to Latin America, those houses, bathrooms, cars, restaurants, offices, reception areas, banks, whatever, they're not what you'd call speak and span by any means. Unless they're owned by first worlders like you and me. So if you are a bit obsessive compulsive about cleanliness, you'll be alright in your own house and car. You can wipe down your walls and your toilet seats with chlorine every hour on the hour if you like. Go ahead and knock yourself out. And you could buy a hospital autoclave to sterilize your dinnerware if you want.
[22:34] But as soon as you step off your property and onto someone else's territory, all bets are off. Especially when riding in certain cars. Now like I said, the average car in Latin America is over 10 years old. More like 15. But note these old cars are not nearly as well taken care of as a 10 or 15 year old car up in the states. There's just no comparison really. So with the average car or small truck down here, the upholstery is completely shot, the paint job destroyed, the dashboard all faded and cracked from too many years in the sun, and generally there's a cracked window or two. And in about half of those cars, the seat belts were either removed because they'd just gotten away, or they don't work at all. But here's the thing that always surprises new expats.
[23:19] When they see those horrible junk boxes on the road, some of them making Jethro's truck on the Beverly hillbillies look like a Mercedes roadster. Anyway they can't help but notice that the owners of these vehicles are absolutely beaming with pride. And it's crazy because some of these guys spend what little extra money they have and put absolutely ridiculous aftermarket stuff on their cars. Just picture one of these rust buckets with spoilers and air foils. Now isn't it ridiculous for a car with 200,000 kilometers on it to have chrome rims and tail pipes? Yet when they burn out a headlight or a tail light, they won't even fork out 4 bucks to have it fixed. Priorities priorities. But it's those Jesus and Mary stickers and decals that really take the cake.
[24:05] That stuff's very big down here. Especially the rosary sticker that looks like Mary's head. Have you seen that one? And that perennial favorite Jesus fish emblem. Then there's those popular stickers that loosely translate to Jesus protects this vehicle. And man I tell you it's not that vehicle that needs protecting, it's the rest of us who have to share the road with those guys. Now we all have an idea what brands of cars are better than others. And whether it's true or not, people in the first world will often tell you, as far as standard mid priced cars go, Nissan and Mitsubishi run about neck and neck, they rate a little higher than Hyundai or Kia. And the first world consensus is that Toyota and Honda are probably the best common production car models.
[24:50] With Honda slightly edging out Toyota. Anyway, in Latin America people who own cars believe the same thing. They believe in that same hierarchy. They think Toyota and Honda are the best mid level brands. And here's the thing. It doesn't matter if you have a brand new Toyota or Honda, or an absolute piece of crap that's 25 years old, even if it's held together by chicken wire and duct tape. If it's a Toyota or a Honda, the owner is irrationally proud of that thing. And how do I know that? Well it's easy for us X-Bats to spot the insane irrationality of it all. Because here's a common sight. Sooner or later you'll get behind a Toyota pickup truck that is absolutely falling apart and sets a wreck that the tailgate itself doesn't stay up anymore so they've got bunchy
[25:37] cords or lamp wire holding it up. But for all the broken lights and hundreds of dents and scratches it's got in it, those big letters, Toyota, on the back of that tailgate are nice and bright and big as life and almost like new. They don't paint the rest of the truck, that's a complete disaster. Only the letters Toyota. And what it's all about is the owner showing the rest of the world that he's not driving a Mitsubishi or a Hyundai, he's driving a higher class of truck, a Toyota. And he wants everybody to know because he's proudest punch to have one. And you know, for the longest time I didn't quite get it. Why would somebody neglect the whole rest of the vehicle, but make sure the word Toyota was nice and clean and sharp and could be seen from a couple of blocks away.
[26:25] Well, now I get it, down here in Latin America, like I've said before, you are what you drive. So even if you drive the biggest piece of crap in town, you still have bragging rights or think you do. Oh and here's a tip, if you're looking in the Latin classifieds to buy a car and it says De ahencia, that means the car was bought from a local dealership and not a questionable import that may have been a total wreck. In that case it could be a good deal so check it out. On the other hand, if the classified ad has a car or a truck for sale and the ad goes on to say, we'll accept a vehicle in trade, it's probably not such a good deal at all. From experience down here, many expats have found out when someone else will take another vehicle in trade. That means the vehicle they're selling probably has a major mechanical fault.
[27:13] It just might not be dependable transportation. If it really is running so well, why would they trade it for another used car of similar value? It just doesn't make sense. When you see an ad like that, be suspicious. And don't forget when you're used car shopping, bring a mechanic along. For 20 bucks he'll tag along with you all day. You've been listening to The Expat Files, living in Latin America, coming to you each week from somewhere south of the border. And don't forget you can email me on anything at all about Latin America, The Expat Files at gmail.com. Once again, The Expat Files at gmail.com. See you next time. Nos vemos!