Episode Summary
In this episode of The Expat Files, Johnny Mueller discusses the challenges expats face with local music, cultural differences in dance, and the unique dynamics of the Latin music scene. He begins by introducing the podcast as a platform that provides an honest view of living in Latin America, contrasting it with the idealized portrayals in travel magazines and websites. He highlights the challenges expats face with the local music, particularly 'ragaton,' a repetitive and often incomprehensible genre. Johnny discusses how even fluent Spanish speakers struggle to understand the lyrics of popular songs, comparing it to the difficulty non-native English speakers have with rap and hip hop. He also touches on the universal phenomenon of misremembering song lyrics, using examples like 'Stairway to Heaven' to illustrate the point.
The podcast segment then discusses reggaeton music in Latin America, highlighting its popularity among younger audiences and its cultural significance. Johnny explains that reggaeton, originating from Latin ghettos in cities like New York, Puerto Rico, and the Dominican Republic, is a form of hip-hop and rap that has become a dominant genre. He notes that while it is extremely popular with people aged 10 to 30, it is disliked by older, more conservative individuals who prefer traditional Latin music with structured songs. Johnny also comments on the cultural and age gap in music preferences, drawing parallels to music trends in the first world. He criticizes the practice of businesses hiring DJs to play reggaeton music in public spaces, calling it annoying to expats and suggesting it is a tradition that has persisted for decades without marketing analysis. Despite the annoyance, Johnny advises expats not to complain about reggaeton in mixed company, as it can make them the life of the party. He also mentions that Latin partners often enjoy reggaeton as their equivalent to house music, and that expats may find themselves dancing to it at parties.
In this segment, Johnny Mueller discusses the cultural and economic landscape of Latin America, focusing on reggaeton music and the local music industry. He notes that reggaeton is deeply ingrained in Latin culture, often played at parties and even used by politicians. Despite its popularity, he argues that many expats and first-world individuals find it difficult to understand or appreciate. He also contrasts the music scene in Latin America with that in the first world, highlighting the challenges musicians face in making a living, often having to take on side jobs. Johnny draws a parallel between the music industry in Latin America and the acting industry in Los Angeles and New York, where most professionals have to work additional jobs to make ends meet. He concludes by emphasizing that while there are many talented musicians in Latin America, they often lack the opportunities and infrastructure to thrive, unlike their counterparts in the first world.
Johnny Mueller then discusses the cultural differences between Latin America and the first world, focusing on music, dancing, and the accessibility of musical instruments. He highlights how in Latin America, many families have homemade guitars due to low costs and a strong cultural emphasis on music. He contrasts this with the first world, where musical instruments are often purchased for special occasions and then discarded. Johnny also explores the cultural attitude toward dancing, noting that in Latin America, dancing is a natural and accepted part of social life, whereas in the first world, it is often seen as awkward or reserved for specific contexts. He shares personal anecdotes about the differences in social behavior and how these cultural norms shape people's lives and interactions.
In this segment, Johnny Mueller discusses the cultural differences in dance styles between expats from the first world and Latin Americans. He humorously refers to the 'gringo disease,' a term used by some Latin friends to describe the awkward, stiff dance moves of first-worlders. Johnny explains that Latin people have had a head start in dancing, having spent more time on the dance floor and perfected their moves, while expats often struggle with it. He also mentions that Latin women find the gringo disease endearing and are not embarrassed by expats' poor dancing skills. Additionally, Johnny touches on the music scene in Latin America, where first-world music is popular but often played with a Spanish accent, and how expats initially enjoy these stations but eventually switch to other music sources.
Finally, in this segment, Johnny Mueller discusses the cultural dynamics of music and entertainment in Latin America, particularly focusing on how expats and locals interact with first-world music. He highlights the phenomenon of Latin Americans trying to impress expats by playing classic first-world music, which expats often find unappealing. Johnny also emphasizes the affordability and quality of local musicians and bands, noting that expats can enjoy high-quality performances at a fraction of the cost compared to the United States. He further elaborates on the existence of tribute bands that mimic first-world artists, which cater to both expats and locals seeking to connect with first-world culture. Finally, he offers a humorous tip for expats struggling with dancing in Latin American settings, suggesting they plant their feet firmly to avoid looking clumsy.
Topics
The Expat Files podcast introduction, Challenges expats face with local music, Language barriers in understanding song lyrics, Universal phenomenon of misremembering song lyrics, Reggaeton music, Cultural and age gap in music preferences, Music trends in Latin America, DJ practices in public spaces, Expats and cultural adaptation, Reggaeton in Latin America, Music industry in Latin America, Cultural differences between Latin America and the first world
Chapters
00:00:00 Opening 00:00:15 Introduction to The Expat Files and its purpose 00:00:53 The annoyance of ragaton music and its impact on expats 00:01:26 The difficulty of understanding song lyrics for expats 00:03:55 The universal phenomenon of misremembering song lyrics 00:04:36 The Annoying Music of Expats 00:04:40 The Rivalry Between Daddy Yankee and Don Omar 00:05:04 The Origins of Reggaeton Music 00:05:46 The Preference for Traditional Latin Music 00:06:56 The Practice of Playing Reggaeton in Public Spaces 00:07:50 The Lack of Marketing Analysis in Reggaeton Promotion 00:08:43 The Annoyance of Reggaeton to Expats 00:09:17 Reggaeton as the Latin Equivalent of House Music 00:09:22 Reggaeton's Popularity in Latin America 00:09:50 Reggaeton's Longevity and Cultural Impact 00:09:55 The Evolution of Music in the First World 00:10:20 Reggaeton and Other Latin Cultural Elements 00:11:00 Johnny's Background in Music 00:11:40 Professional Musicians in the First World 00:12:24 The Music Industry in Latin America 00:12:44 Acting Industry in Los Angeles and New York 00:14:20 The Dream of Musical Success in the Ghetto 00:14:32 The Accessibility of Musical Instruments in Latin America 00:16:01 Dancing as a Cultural Norm in Latin America 00:18:55 The Gringo Disease and Cultural Perceptions of Dance 00:19:39 The Good News for Expat Men: Latin Women's Perspective 00:21:13 Music in Latin America: Sophistication and Adaptation 00:23:30 Horse with No Name 16 Times a Day 00:23:32 Latin Americans and First-World Music 00:24:12 Affordable Local Music for Expats 00:25:12 Tribute Bands and Cultural Niche 00:26:44 Dancing Tips for Expats
Transcript
Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.
[00:04] Hi everybody, I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to The Expat Files, living in Latin America. The show that tells you what it's really like to live, work, play and or retire in Latin America. I tell it just like it is, not the version they give you in those glossy travel magazines, or the picture they paint for you in those international traveler websites, where they're only trying to sell you something. What's it really like for expats living in Latin America? Well, it's time to take off those rose colored glasses and find out. So let's get started. Did you ever get a song in your head that you just can't get rid of, it just repeats over and over. Even when you go to sleep, it's in your head and sometimes you even wake up with it in the morning. Now, I know that's happened to all of us, but what happens when you get a song in your head that you really hate and you can't get rid of? Like something from Michael Bolton, Kenny G, or Air Supply?
[00:53] You know what I mean. Well, down here in Latin America, that happens all the time and it's especially annoying because of all that ragaton music that's going on down here. You've heard of it of course, ragaton. It's more or less the Latin version of rap music, only even more repetitive, boring and pointless if that's at all possible. And for expats, even if your Spanish is pretty good, you won't be able to understand the words because it's mostly slang. It's just like rap music and hip hop. The average white American, even if he speaks the Queen's English absolutely perfectly, can only understand about every fifth word. Which brings me to another interesting phenomena. When down here in Latin America, often times, Latin speakers who know a little bit or even a lot of English will often ask me about a very popular first world song that happens to be one of the hits of the moment from some popular artists like Lady Gaga or even Jay-Z.
[01:42] And they'll ask me what the song is all about and what the words mean. And I just have to shrug my shoulders and look like a dummy. Because most of the time, I don't know. But I know I can't go wrong if I tell them that the song's about sex, drugs, getting over on the man, money and disrespecting women. Because that's what it takes to hit number one these days. Now the topic of song-a-lyric translation often comes up when expats go to Spanish language schools down here. But this time it happens in reverse. The expat will most often say to his or her teacher, I'd really like to understand Spanish well enough so that when I'm listening to a song, I understand what the words mean. Well, you know, in most cases, that's really not going to happen. Because I know expats that know pretty good Spanish and they've been down here 15, 20, 25 years. And that includes me. And the fact is, we can translate a popular Spanish hit song about as well as a middle-aged
[02:31] American accountant can translate a hit song by Snoop Dogg. And you know what kind of mission impossible that would be. So when you come down here trying to learn your Spanish, forget about sitting around with your friends in a bar, listening to all those popular Spanish hits and trying to figure out what they're saying. Because the only time you're going to have a half a chance at getting it right is when someone's singing a pretty slow ballad. In fact, I know some old-time expats who are pretty good Spanish speakers. They can't even translate all the words of the most popular international Latin crossover hits of all time, namely La Bamba, La Cucaracha, and Oye Como Va. And the same goes for English speakers and English songs. I don't think a die-hard Rolling Stones fan could accurately write down the words to a Rolling Stones hit, even if you offered him a thousand bucks. And the same thing goes for Latins and Latin popular songs.
[03:20] It's amazing how many times I've been at a karaoke bar down here. And by the way, karaoke is extremely popular here too. Anyway, it's amazing that when a Latin person's up there on stage, drunk as a skunk, singing along to an extremely popular Latin song, with the words right up on the plasma screen TV, yet somehow, those words don't quite match with what the guy's actually singing. It seems it's kind of a universal phenomena. In every culture, we all know the choruses to the most popular songs in our language. That's easy because the chorus is always like a sing-along, but we screw up all the time on the verses. Now, here's a great example. Everybody knows the song Stairway to Heaven. It's probably one of the top five most played songs of all time, but who actually can tell you the words to it? I'll bet you no one out there listening to this program could write them down correctly
[04:08] right off the top of his head. Even if you had the song playing right now, I guarantee you'll screw it up. And how many of you have been singing along to the words of a song you've been known for 20 or even 30 years, and all of a sudden, you're on the internet and you see the words to the song printed out as they actually are, and you realize that what you thought were the right words to the song were actually wrong. And you know, that happens to all of us, even so-called professional musicians. But let's get back to that ragaton phenomena down here. The music that's oh so annoying to us expats. You might know that down here the Elvis of Ragaton is a guy named Daddy Yankee, and his rival is a guy named Don Omar, and those are the big two names in Ragaton. And they're always touring down here and packing huge stadiums wherever they go.
[04:54] But expats, I advise keeping away from those ragaton concerts. That is, unless you got a couple of gold teeth in the front, and a tattoo on your face. Because you just won't blend in otherwise. Anyway, Ragaton music started up in the Latin ghettos in the big cities like New York, as well as in Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic. Now, you know that Latin and black gangs up in the States are always fighting it out for turf, women, fashion, and music. So it's only natural, since the blacks had their own music, hip-hop and rap. The Latins had to have their own versions of hip-hop and rap too, which we know today as ragaton. And down here it's extremely popular with Latin people from the ages of 10 to about 30. But just like rap and hip-hop, the older, more conservative, and established people don't like it at all. And they have no idea what the kids see in it, since it's all about sex, drugs, disrespecting
[05:44] women, and Latin style booty calls. The over 30 crowd down here are into traditional Latin music with a structure. Songs with a beginning, a middle, and a real ending. Chorus, verse, chorus, verse, refrain. Which is a far cry from the throbbing jungle heartbeat of ragaton. In general, most Latins over 30 like to hear songs that tell a story. Not songs about screwing your friend's sister, getting high, and going down to Sears and stealing plasma TVs. Anyway, the cultural and age gap in music down here is as wide as the one we have up in the first world. I mean, 40 and 50 year old black guys and women up north don't listen to Snoop Dogg and Jay-Z. They're still listening to their old albums, Earth Wind and Fire, Lou Rawls, Marvin Gaye, and Stevie Wonder. And by the way, whatever happened to Stevie Wonder?
[06:31] Seems like about 1975, once he hit about 25 years old, somebody gave him a saccharin enema. Or he traded brains with John Tesh or something. I mean, did Stevie Wonder get a lobotomy or what? Anyway, the point is, down here, there's a huge music gap between the young and old. But back to ragaton music, which you'll hear blaring from speakers everywhere down here. Whether you happen to be in a mall, a parking lot, a gas station, or a grocery store. Because you see, down here, businesses have a custom of hiring DJ's to set up their speakers and turntables right on the front sidewalk near the door of their establishment where they blast popular latin music hits at you all day long. Which means, of course, ragaton. And though it's actually very annoying to expats, it's the DJ's moment in the sun
[07:16] and he thinks he's some kind of mall hero. I mean, you can rarely go into a popular business district or a big mall and not hear a DJ blasting out his tunes. And in some sections of towns and cities, that kind of noise pollution you can hear every two or three blocks. And really, I don't know how that DJ on the sidewalk movement got started. What marketing or PR guy in his right mind would think that you can increase business by blasting mindless ragaton music in the stunned faces of every customer that walks past your door. It just goes to show you once again that latin business people don't know much about advertising and marketing. And they don't know much about cleanliness, floor space, and product placement either. We know that. In fact, it looks to me, and every other expat I know, that people come in and shop despite the blasting music in the DJ not because of it.
[08:03] And in talking to these store owners, I found out that setting up a DJ in front of your store or business is a tradition that's been going on down here for at least 40 years. And of course, since it's latin america, nobody's bothered to do any marketing analysis on it. And one DJ actually told me that most of them don't get paid at all. And the DJ's themselves use it for self-promotion and for picking up girls. The DJ's all told me that that's how they get hooked up with clients for parties and future events. They just do supermarket freebies to hand out business cards. Now in reality, it's not a bad idea at all. That is, if you're targeting an audience between the ages of 10 and 30, people who actually like that kind of music. But to latins over 30 and to expats of any age, it's just simply annoying. But this is latin america, and that's the way it is.
[08:52] But here's another pointer for you expats. Don't go dissing reggaeton music no matter how much you can't stand it. Not in mixed company anyway. Complaining about the music will not make you the life of the party, believe me. So after you've heard the same mindless song 37 times in a row, try to look like you're having a good time and be sure to use the bathroom if you have to vomit. Now if you have a latin wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, or significant other, you're gonna end up dancing to reggaeton music, because it's pretty much their equivalent of house music. So when you go to a latin disco or a party, as soon as that DJ starts blasting that reggaeton music, it seems like almost everybody heads for the dance floor. Which is another reason not to let on how much you think reggaeton music sucks, because I guarantee your partner is not gonna feel the same way as you do about it.
[09:38] So don't be a party pooper. And by the way, if you think that people down here are gonna come to their senses, and that reggaeton is just gonna be a fleeting phenomena, like Ricky Martin, the Macarena, the Spice Girls, Ben Affleck, Britney Spears, and the Bee Gees, well you're wrong. White people up north used to think hip hop and rap with ads, and now that kind of music, if you can call it that, is even played at football games, weddings, bar mitzvahs, and in elevators. And that's just what's happened to reggaeton down here in Latin America. Even politicians are using reggaeton numbers as their campaign theme songs, if you can believe that. And that just makes me think that their political handlers haven't actually figured out the words yet. So all you expats and expat wannabes out there, for all us first world transplants, reggaeton
[10:26] is a lot like soap opera, soccer, and chicharrones. That is, we never really warm up to them, and we can't for the life of us understand why latins are so nuts about them, so we just grin and bear it. And by the way, chicharrones are our favorite latin snack food down here, kind of like popcorn and potato chips are to first world people. But the difference is, they're made out of 100% deep fried pork fat, yes I said 100% pig fat, and they sell like hotcakes, yuck. Now if you're talking about live music in bands, it's a completely different story down here. I'm somewhat of a classically trained musician myself. I played music since I was 6 years old, and I'm not saying I'm any good, I'm just saying I'm classically trained, and I've played a lot of different instruments in a lot of
[11:11] bands, professionally and otherwise, even in some groups down here in Latin America. So I'm not just blowing hot air when I say that I've seen and played in bands with some of the best musicians in my life, and they happen to be latins, not first world musicians at all. In fact, in any big city in Latin America, you'll find local musicians that are so good that if they had a chance to make it up to a big city in the States, they'd be instantly recognized as great talents and would have no trouble making a very good living as a full time professional musician up there. However, down here it's a completely different story. I've noticed myself that even in big cities, of 2 million or more, there's only a very small handful of bands, perhaps 10, that make a good enough living at it that they don't have to continue living at home with their folks.
[11:56] The fact is, nearly every single musician, even the outstanding and the excellent ones, can't make a living at it. They have to have a side job as a parking lot attendant, a bank teller, or a bartender to make ends meet. Whereas up in the first world, any city that's got over a million people has at least a hundred local musical groups that are making a pretty good living at it. Because up in the first world, a professional musician can be solid middle class and actually afford a car and a house payment. But down here in Latin America, the music business reminds me an awful lot of the acting profession in Los Angeles and New York. It turns out that in those two cities, 99% of so-called professional actors and actresses have to have side jobs as waitresses or bartenders, because there's just not enough good-paying
[12:42] acting jobs to make ends meet. And it's always been like that in Los Angeles and New York. Ask any actor. And down here in Latin America, it's always been a tough, tough road for musicians, even ones that absolutely blow you away with their talent. And as for actors, if you're not in the soap operas, you're either starving or living at home with mom and pop. Now of course, all you expat wannabes are familiar with some Latin music and some famous Latin stars like Shakira and Ricky Martin, Julio Iglesias and his kid Enrique Iglesias, and Marc Anthony. And like them or not, those are not your typical examples of high-quality Latin music or musicianship. Those are just the ones that somehow broke through the popular cultural music barrier and went international by riding a wave of common man popularity. Because I assure you that in any big city down here in Latin America, on any Friday
[13:32] or Saturday night, in the bar, disco and restaurant sections of town called the Zona Viva or the Zona Rosa, you can see any number of fabulous musicians and singers equal or better to anything you've experienced up in the first world and paid big money to see. And yet, these guys are playing in hole-in-the-wall bars and tourist destinations, usually for no cover charge at all. And now you might be thinking, why are there so many good, even great musicians down here? And why aren't they making a living at it? Well, one outstanding Latin guitar player friend of mine said it to me like this. He said, it's a lot like the black ghetto up in the United States. Every neighborhood has their star basketball players that are really terrific because every neighborhood has a ton of basketball courts and you only need a ball and some kids to
[14:17] get a game going and it's for free. And those kids play hours and hours and hours every day of the week and they all think they're going to hit the big time someday and almost none of them do. But they all have big dreams even though it's totally unrealistic that any of them is going to make it out of the ghetto. Well down here in Latin America, my guitar player friend said, practically every house has a guitar laying around in it somewhere because down here you could buy a cheap guitar for the price of a new basketball up north. In fact, many families have guitars that were actually made by someone in the family who was good with wood. Now, I've seen a lot of these homemade guitars myself. They're usually a little on the crude side, but they actually play and there's always a kid or two in the family who get the urge to pound away on it and in time, some of them become absolutely terrific at it. Now here's a society where half the people have absolutely no disposable income.
[15:07] So a kid with no money and time on his hands can amuse himself for hours and days at a time with that little homemade guitar that grandpa made. And all the young boys down here have musical role models, guitar heroes. So as long as a young kid's got his own guitar, he has a chance of making a career out of it. At least, that's what he thinks. And speaking again of these homemade guitars I was telling you about, let me ask you first worlders a question up there. Have you ever gone into the house of one of your friends and actually seen a homemade guitar or a homemade anything for that matter? You know, in the first world, that just doesn't happen. Instead, some kid says to his mom or dad, he wants a guitar or drums for Christmas or his birthday and of course he gets it and 99 times out of 100, it ends up in the attic
[15:52] with dad's unused exercise bike and mom's unused treadmill. And not to get off topic too much, but when you talk about music, you can talk about dancing. And Latin America is a culture of dancers, both male and female. And you know, people up north often say that the Latins have a gene for dancing, a gene for rhythm. But it's really not that at all, it's about their culture. And everybody with a brain knows that those Latins can really dance. And me and every expat down here can tell you that stereotype is absolutely true. When there's a party or a fiesta or a family get-together, their lack of disposable income does not put a damper on the fiesta, believe me. They always have some kind of music, even if it's an old beat-up boom box that still takes cassette tapes. And as soon as the music starts, every young kid in the house from five years old and up
[16:39] starts busting a move. And there's absolutely no embarrassment involved at all with the boys. Not like in the first world. I remember back up in Chicago in 9th grade at those big public school dances, where all the boys would congregate to one side of the gym and mull around with each other all night and not dance at all. And of course, all the girls would dance, usually with each other and occasionally with a guy. And often, that guy would be later accused of being a fag. I remember that's exactly how it was until I got into the later high school years and still the guys were reluctant to dance, only doing so if a girl actually pulled you out on the dance floor. And then when you got to college and of drinking age and you actually went out to the discos, you'd force yourself to dance with the girls because you knew the girls wanted to dance.
[17:24] And that was one of the only ways to make a connection. That is, besides buying her and all her girlfriends a round of drinks with umbrellas in them. And back then if you asked any red blooded American male, man to man that is, he'd tell you that he wasn't into dancing at all and he only did it because that's what the girls expected. But if he was asked the same question by a girl, he'd say that he does like to dance. Even though he was telling a little white lie because he didn't want to look like a jerk in front of the girl. If a guy tells a girl he doesn't like dancing or he never dances, he's cutting his own throat since dancing can often be a girls favorite past time. Now that's where there's a huge cultural difference between the first world and the third world. Down here you'll never see guys at parties and discos and clubs standing around hanging with each other.
[18:10] They'll always be out there mingling and dancing with the girls. And they're actually enjoying it. They have smiles on their faces and they're having a good time. And they're not preoccupied about the moves they make when they dance. It's almost uncanny how smooth these guys are, how relaxed, how agile. Drunk and blindfolded, these guys could dance the pants off of any first world guy I've ever seen. That is with the exception of a few gay guys I know. And you know for some of the gay guys up north, they're great dancers too because they started out so very young and uninhibited about it. They didn't give a damn what other people thought. Not like a straight guys who always think we look like idiots out on the dance floor. And I'm sure we do. Now expats and tourists who come down here, they find out those dancing facts of life right away. In fact, some of the latin friends I have call it the gringo disease.
[18:59] And every first world guy's got it. Europeans, Australians, Canadians, Americans, it doesn't matter. One latin friend of mine laughed when he said, you gringos dance like you've got a pogo stick stuck up your ass. What's wrong with you guys? Why don't you just loosen up? Easier said than done. Huh? All you expats out there? Now it's hard to explain to a latin guy who's laughing at your pathetic dance floor moves that gringos and first worlders never really had much time on the dance floor until they got to college. And then they'd only go out there reluctantly. Which means latin guys got about a 20 year head start on us. Not to mention so many thousands of extra hours on the dance floor to perfect their moves and just switch on automatic pilot. Now the good news for expat men is this. Latin women expect us to dance badly.
[19:44] They expect us to have that gringo disease. And they kind of think it's cute and even endearing. And they'll drag you right out on that dance floor, right in front of all those smooth stepping latin guys out there, and she won't be embarrassed at all. Even if you dance like a peg leg pirate. And her? You can guarantee that she'll be dancing circles around you. While you spend all your time just trying not to step on her feet. And that's the whole crux of it. Latin guys and girls can switch to automatic pilot. And of course, you can't. They're flying in the stratosphere and you're still on the runway with training wheels. And it's always going to be like that, so get used to it. And no matter how many dance classes you take, salsa, rumba, punta, whatever, you're never going to be able to dance like those latin guys do. And no matter if they're drunk and can hardly walk, they can still dance up a storm and
[20:31] make you look like a wind up toy. But I always recommend that no matter how ego deflating the competition is, you really have to get out on the dance floor, because the girls and the guys expect it. And for you expat and expat wannabe ladies out there, I know you all can dance, or you think you can. And it's obvious you always dance better than any first world guy. And you've been doing it since you were 8 or 9 years old. But I'm sorry, you can't hold a candle to the way those latin girls dance. So it doesn't matter if you were the queen of the hop up in Philadelphia. Down at the disco in Cartagena, Colombia, you won't get any extra credit points, because there will always be a dozen or two local ladies who will wipe you right off the floor. So don't think you're going to win any trophies down here. Fat chance. Now, another thing about music down in Latin America. You might laugh at this, and maybe you won't even believe me, but it's very sophisticated.
[21:20] Which is quite ironic when you consider that mindless throbbing ragaton is a big part of the culture down here. Well, I assure you that ragaton is not listening to music, it's music just to dance to. Well, anyway, it might surprise you that when you're down in Cartagena, Colombia, when you're walking on a Friday or Saturday night through the club, restaurant and hotel district, which like I said is called the Zona Rosa or the Zona Viva, you'll always hear live music coming from some of those bars. And you'll hear popular first world music played live by a cover band that sounds exactly like the record, except the vocalist will have a Spanish accent. He'll be trying his damnedest to sing that song in English, but never quite get it right. Though the thing is, the bands are so good down here, they can copy anything to an absolute
[22:07] T, except the vocal. And I'm not talking as a spectator, but as a B-grade musician myself. And musicians are always very critical when they watch other bands. We're always considered the worst audience, because we know so well how that music is supposed to be played, so every flaw jumps right out at us, which is kind of a curse. But you know, first world popular music has invaded Latin America in a big way, and it always has, even if the people who love it don't understand a single word they're saying. When you go to parties or bars or discos or weddings, they're always playing a mix of their own Latin music and a mix of first world popular hits in English. In fact, every city over a million persons down here has its very own classic American oldies radio station, or two or even three, that plays nothing but 100% top 40 American
[22:57] hits. And by and large those stations are direct ripoffs of classic oldies stations in the States. And most expats I know start listening to those stations right away when they first get down here, thinking, hey great, that's a touch of home. But after a few months, they give up on it and switch to a real first world station off the internet, or download their own musical preferences on an iPod. Because the classic oldies stations down here play the same 50 or 60 songs in rotation over and over again. And most expats I know don't want to hear Hotel California, Stairway to Heaven, and Horse with No Name 16 times a day. But as you might guess, since Latin Americans love everything first world, clones of first listenership, and in fact, some of the Latin people in the higher income brackets actually
[23:45] try to impress expats by turning on that classic oldie station when you're in their house, their business office, their car, or at a party that they're giving, in order to make you think that they're very hip and plugged right into everything first world. Not knowing of course that you'd rather have a coffee enema than listen to ELO, Neil Diamond, Barbara Streisand or Air Supply just one more time. So that's another case where you just grin and bear it. Now because there are so many great musicians and great bands down here, the competition is fierce and expats can take advantage of this. That means anytime you have the smallest little party or get together, you can hire an absolute first rate band for next to nothing. The fact is there's so many bands and so much competition down here that more than half
[24:31] of the ones that you see at bars, discos, and clubs are playing that night just for drinks and food. That's it. Whereas for example, up in the United States, if you were having a birthday party let's say and you wanted to hire a first rate band or even a regular disc jockey, you're talking at least two or three hundred dollars for the disc jockey and no less than five hundred dollars for a band. Not a first rate one anyway. But down here you could get a top quality disc jockey for fifty bucks for the night. And believe me if you let the word out that you're looking for a disc jockey, they'll be beating your door down to get to job. And when it comes to live bands, you'll be able to get a top notch group for anywhere from a hundred to a hundred fifty bucks. And here's something else that's going to make you laugh. Because there's so much competition and the groups are so good, some of the more clever
[25:17] ones have found a first world niche that actually can make them some decent money. They've become clones of first world tribute bands. And I know it's going to surprise you when you find out that down in Nicaragua I saw a very good Doors tribute band, in Guatemala a Guns N Roses tribute band, in Panama a Beatles tribute band, in Colombia a Queen tribute band, and in Argentina a Kiss tribute band. And those were just some of the shows I went to. And I know for a fact that right now in Buenos Aires there are at least five Beatles tribute bands and they're all making money. Which isn't a lot and not necessarily enough to make a decent living on. But they get regular gigs, because in those cities of over a million people where they have a lot of higher end people on vacation, there's always higher class Latins who want
[26:03] to go out and see that first world style stuff, clone band or not. Because you know it's a sign of status for Latins to show that they connect with everything first world and aspire to first world culture. Now one note about these first world tribute bands with Latin members. The music itself is always on the money, terrific, spot on. And for Latin spectators it's absolutely glorious to them. But us expats, we love the music too, but we still can't get used to the idea of a Latin Jim Morrison in fake leather pants singing LA Woman with a Spanish accent. Oh and lest I forget, every big city in Latin America has its Elvis impersonators. That's a given. And they look good, but they do have Spanish accents. And by the way, here's a good tip for those of you with the gringo dancing disease.
[26:48] Now one Latin lady, who's of course a terrific dancer, told me that her gringo boyfriend was an absolutely horrible dancer. So bad that she was almost embarrassed to go out on the dance floor with him. Now that's saying a lot, because Latin women are very forgiving. Well she came up with a great solution that works really well for every bad gringo dancer I've ever mentioned it to. She said, you know, if you're a real klutz, when you're on the dance floor, don't move your feet at all. Plant them hard and solid, as if they were in a tub of cement. That way, you don't have to worry about what you have to do with them. You can concentrate on the rest of your bad moves, and you won't look like you just tripped on a manhole cover. And you know, she's right. That's what I do all the time now. And I only feel half as stupid. You've been listening to The Expat Files, living in Latin America.
[27:39] And don't forget you can email me on anything at all about Latin America. That's The Expat Files at gmail.com. That's the expat files at gmail.com. See you next time. Nos vemos.