Episode Summary
In this episode of The Expat Files, Johnny Mueller shares his honest view of living in Latin America, contrasting it with the idealized portrayals often found in travel magazines and websites. He begins by discussing his personal experience with tourism in Central America, emphasizing his preference for low-key, off-the-beaten-path destinations where he can avoid typical American tourists. Johnny critiques the 'ugly American' stereotype and praises eco-tourists who dress modestly and don't flaunt their wealth. He also discusses his need for a special leather belt with a hidden zipper compartment for storing money and important documents, highlighting its practicality for travelers in Latin America. He mentions the belt's affordability and high quality, noting that it's a valuable accessory for expats, especially in areas where losing belongings can be a significant issue.
Johnny then delves into the local market trends surrounding zipper belts with secret compartments, explaining that these are not popular in the local market. He notes that only one kiosk out of 100 sells zipper belts, and even fewer tourists are aware of their existence. He also highlights the size mismatch between the belts and the local population, suggesting that the belts are too large for the average Latin man. Johnny further comments on the impact of first-world fast food culture on local populations, noting that even indigenous people are now consuming junk food. He concludes by mentioning the lack of US franchises in low-key tourist destinations, emphasizing the unique nature of these places.
In this segment, Johnny discusses the contrast between first-world expats and locals in Latin America. He notes that in small towns, locals don't have access to first-world fast food chains like McDonald's, Wendy's, or Burger King, but in big cities, these franchises are common. He suggests that locals would enjoy these chains if they were available and would frequent them when visiting the city. Johnny reflects on the experience of expats who 'go native,' living like locals with limited resources, and contrasts that with expats who 'hit the skids,' living the dream of a first-world person by moving to a tropical location and enjoying a relaxed lifestyle. He warns that some expats may become complacent and lose their drive, while others remain active and take advantage of opportunities.
Johnny then discusses the lifestyle of expats in the first world, emphasizing the abundance of free time and the lack of traditional responsibilities like chores. He highlights how this free time can lead to hobbies or even professional success, but also warns of the potential for idleness and alcoholism. He shares a personal anecdote about a Canadian expat who won the lottery and moved to Costa Rica, only to fall into a drinking problem. Johnny also notes the cultural differences in drinking habits between men and women in expat communities and the affordability of wine in Latin America.
In this segment, Johnny discusses the cost and cultural significance of beer in Latin America. He explains that locally produced beer is significantly cheaper than imported brands, with prices ranging from 40 to 75 cents per bottle or can, while imported beers can cost up to five dollars. He highlights the popularity of local beers among tourists, such as Port Royal and Salvavitas in Honduras, and notes that these beers are often associated with a lower-class stereotype called 'coriente.' Johnny also contrasts the drinking habits of locals and tourists, noting that locals often avoid quart bottles to avoid being seen as common, while tourists embrace them for their affordability. He concludes by suggesting that long-term expats eventually find local beers to be no better or worse than cheap beers from the first world.
Finally, Johnny discusses the phenomenon of expat men becoming beach house drunks, contrasting it with expat women who tend to prefer wine. He attributes this difference to various factors, including the visibility of drinking habits and the social dynamics of retirement communities. Johnny also explores the reasons behind this behavior, suggesting that many expats, particularly men, come to Latin America with a strong desire to relax after years of working in high-stress jobs. He warns that without hobbies or a plan, expats can fall into the trap of becoming alcoholics. He also mentions that starting a business in Latin America can be overwhelming due to the lack of time and encourages expats to have a plan before moving.
Topics
Introduction to The Expat Files, Johnny's personal experience with tourism in Central America, Critique of the 'ugly American' stereotype, Practical travel accessories for expats, Affordability and quality of travel accessories in Latin America, Zipper belts with secret compartments, Local market trends, Fast food culture in Latin America, Tourist destinations without US franchises, Expats and first world culture, Local vs. expat lifestyles, Expats who 'go native' vs. those who 'hit the skids'
Chapters
00:00:00 Opening 00:00:24 Johnny's Personal Experience with Tourism in Central America 00:01:10 Critique of the 'Ugly American' Stereotype 00:02:25 Practical Travel Accessories for Expats 00:04:27 Affordability and Quality of Travel Accessories in Latin America 00:04:31 Introduction to Zipper Belts with Secret Compartments 00:04:52 Low Sales of Zipper Belts in the Local Market 00:05:43 Unpopular Nature of Zipper Belts and Thieves' Ignorance 00:07:12 Size Mismatch Between Belts and Local Population 00:08:01 Impact of First-World Fast Food Culture on Local Populations 00:09:02 Absence of US Franchises in Low-Key Tourist Destinations 00:09:33 Have You Ever Been Without a McDonald's? 00:10:11 Expats Who Go Native 00:11:21 Expats Who Hit the Skids 00:13:47 The Privilege of Free Time in the First World 00:14:39 The Risk of Idleness and Alcoholism 00:14:43 The Canadian Lottery Winner's Downfall 00:18:01 Drinking Habits and Cultural Differences 00:18:40 The Affordability of Wine in Latin America 00:18:55 Cost of Locally Produced Beer in Latin America 00:19:24 Tourist Preferences and Local Beer Culture 00:20:16 Social Class and Drinking Habits 00:22:16 Economic Factors Influencing Beer Consumption 00:22:53 Perception of Local vs. Imported Beers 00:23:44 Introduction to the Story of the Canadian Friend 00:24:24 The Phenomenon of Expat Men Becoming Drunks 00:25:49 The Role of Job Stress in Expat Drinking Habits 00:27:12 Warning About Common Expat Traps
Transcript
Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.
[00:03] Hi everybody, I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to The Expat Files, living in Latin America. The show that tells you what it's really like to live, work, play and or retire in Latin America. I tell it just like it is, not the version they give you in those glossy travel magazines, or the picture they paint for you in those international traveler websites, where they're only trying to sell you something. What's it really like for expats living in Latin America? Well, it's time to take off those rose colored glasses and find out. So let's get started. You know, this weekend I took a friend from the United States, a good friend, on a tour down here in Central America of some of the touristy, non touristy places I like to call them. And those are the places I like to visit for a quick vacation, where you rarely run into the typical American tourist, you know, the so-called ugly American with a couple of bratty
[00:50] kids in tow, yelling, mommy, daddy, I'm bored, don't they have any cool shopping malls down here where I can play some video games? Anyway, when I'm on vacation, I don't like to go to the touristy places at all. Though when you're going to see some ruins or an ancient colonial city, or a once in a lifetime view of a spectacular lake or waterfall or whatever, in that case you're bound to see some tourists. And my kind of tourists are eco-tourists, they're real eco-tourists, not the wannabes. The ones I don't mind being around are the ones that dress down, no Rolexes or jewelry, no designer clothes, or at least a minimum of hip designer labels on their backpack and hiking stuff. I actually even appreciate being around some of those guys. They're the ones that actually tend to give us foreigners a good name. The ones that are pretty much low-key in every way, except you can spot that they're from the first world in an instant, but they don't actually shove it in anyone's face.
[01:38] And they're not off on a hunt to find the best champagne brunch at the nearest four-star hotel. So anyway, I'm with my friend at one of my favorite low-key vacation destinations, and by the way, the places like that that I go to are always about half to a third the price, then what you'd pay in one of the more well-known popular tourist destinations down here. And I'm not talking about any of the places you all know about, the ones that are touted in all those travel tourist brochures and your glossy magazines like Conde Nast Traveler. None of the usual suspects like Cancun, Costa Rica, Bayadel Carmen, Ixtapa, Panama, and Rio de Janeiro. I scratched those places off my list a long time ago. Anyway, we're walking down the main boulevard, and I'm looking to buy one of my favorite travel accessories. In fact, I'm looking to buy not one, but three of them.
[02:25] A nice, simple, but elegant leather belt that's not really so regular at all because it's got a secret zipper hidden compartment running the length of the inside along the back where you can hide about $1,000 and $100 bills and copies of important documents like passports and credit cards and stuff if you like. And I imagine how valuable a belt like this is for any traveler anywhere, whether you're in the first world or the third world, or the fourth world for that matter. It's part of your backup plan because what happens if someone steals your wallet or your backpack or you just misplace them or lose them somewhere? So what do you do then? Go down to the American Embassy and stand in line for about three hours? And by the way, the American Embassy is only in the biggest city in any foreign country, so if you're not in that city and you lose your stuff, then what? Good luck with that. If something like that happens to you, you might not even have money for a hotel room,
[03:13] much less your next meal. Well guess what? No matter what happens, you've still got your pants on, right? And you've got a belt holding it up. Well at least I hope you still have your pants on. And no average everyday crook is going to think to take your belt, so that's pretty much the last thing on his mind when he's more interested in iPods and cameras and credit cards and just plain old cash. Yeah, and by the way, these belts are pure leather and really high quality. And when you look at them, you cannot tell that there's a hidden zipper on the inside. They're just fabulous. And guess what? They do cost about 10 or 15 bucks, and they come in various sizes, colors, and styles. Some are tooled and some are plain. And don't think because I'm plugging them here, I make anything off of them because I sell them on the internet or something. I don't. I just recommend them because they're the right thing to have for a traveler. In any event, they're a very valuable accessory, and I'm never without one.
[04:02] However, after about 10 years of use, both of mine are getting a little ragged around the edges, so I'm down here to buy a few more. In this particular little low-key tourist town, there's a number of local vendors selling leather goods and little kiosks who have these zipper belts of a very nice quality. Now, up in the first world, I know you can get these belts, by mail order anyway, and I see by Googling they range anywhere from $20 to $50, and of course, the cheap ones are plastic. But down here, they're only available in high quality leather. What? No plastic? Yep, no plastic or synthetics, and you gotta love that. Now, you smart guys out there just might be thinking, if they sell these zipper belts with that secret compartment in there for money and things, well, the crooks all must know about this then, because they're walking down these streets and seeing that stuff too. And why wouldn't they?
[04:47] They're selling that stuff right out there in the kiosks to tourists, right? Well, if you think that, you'd be wrong. Because these belts are not big sellers, not at all. In fact, you have to ask the people in these kiosks if they even have zipper belts, and 99% of them don't. They don't even know what you're talking about. And in this little low-key tourist town, with maybe 100 little kiosks selling all kinds of stuff to tourists, including leather goods and belts, and in this little town, I'd say that there's about 10 little kiosks selling handcrafted leather stuff like that, and only one of those kiosks actually has any zippered belts at all. The rest of their stock is the old standard belt of all sizes, shapes, and colors. And even stranger, that lonely kiosk that does sell those zippered belts does not have a sign or an advertisement whatsoever saying that they have such a product. And to show you just how popular these things are, or I should say unpopular, there were
[05:37] probably a thousand different belts for sale at this place, and only three of the belts on the racks actually had zippers. So that should ease your fears if you're worried about thieves knowing about these things. Not only are the thieves blissfully unaware that they exist, tourists don't have a clue about them either. Otherwise, they'd have dozens, and not just three lonely belts like that on a rack. So at least you expat files listeners know about these things. And yes, if you go on the internet, you can buy them for the ladies too. So why am I bringing these belts up again if I mention them a long time ago on a previous show? Well, here's what happened when I finally found that one place that actually did sell them. The three models that they had were so gigantic that when I tried one on, it practically wrapped around my waist twice, and when I asked the little indigenous lady working there for a smaller size, I actually didn't need a smaller size.
[06:23] I actually needed a belt about five sizes smaller than what they had. And when she heard that, she shook her head and said, they don't have any, that's the only size they carry. And I said, what? A few years ago, well, actually 10 years ago or so, I showed her the belt that I had on, a zipper belt, and I said, look, I bought this belt here at your stand. All I need is a few more just like it. And she looked at it and shook her head and said, we don't make that size anymore. We used to sell that size, but the tourists have gotten fatter. Now if that wasn't a wake up call, but she said she could have some made in my size, but it would take about two weeks. Now I take a 34 pants waist, the same waistline I had in high school, and the three belts on the rack must have been about a 42 waistline and then some. So it should be obvious to you that the locals do not buy these belts, not for themselves anyway, because in general, Latins are shorter and smaller than first world people in every
[07:12] way. So if those belts are too big for me, a six foot tall guy with a 34 inch waist, no way will it ever fit your average Latin guy who's about five foot six with a 28 inch waist. So that's a fine comment on first world society, even as worldly travelers who are supposed to be a little better educated in nutrition and healthcare than the average smuck sitting at home on his sofa with his Cheetos watching TV, even a so-called educated first world ecologically tuned in travelers have made quite an impression on the local vendors with our expanding waistlines. So go ahead, next time you're in Whole Foods, check out all those health food hypocrites and you'll know just what I'm talking about. And it's not like the local Latins aren't ballooning out too, they really are. And when you hear all that talk in the first world papers about the alarming proportions of undernourished children in third world countries, and especially with the indigenous
[08:01] populations in Latin America, well, in actuality, they've caught the fast food bug too. At least the poor indigenous populations in the big cities have, because one thing I've noticed every time a little kid, including a shoeshine boy gets an extra quarter or a half dollar in his pocket, soon enough he's standing in a street corner with his buddies with a Coca-Cola and a bag of Cheetos. The boxed lunch of rice and beans and tortillas that mama used to pack from home for all these kids has gone the way of a junk food lunch. Nowadays you see just as many kids eating rice and beans for lunch as you see kids with Kool-Aid or a Coke and a bag of cheese popcorn. And all that of course is thanks to good old first world marketing that's finally made it down here. Now there's one thing I have to mention concerning these low volume tourist destinations, these ecotourist destinations that I like to go to.
[08:46] Now my first world friend and I are in this little town, one of the most beautiful scenic destinations in the world, but of course not on the radar with first world tour agencies. Anyway, we walked around that place for two days solid and there wasn't a single US franchise down there. No McDonald's, no Wendy's, no Burger King, nothing. So what I said about the locals getting addicted to first world junk food doesn't hold in small towns like that only in the big cities where first world franchises and first world marketing have landed. Oh and I'm sure the locals would love to go to McDonald's or Wendy's if they existed in their town and when they make a trek to the big city I'm sure they hit those places and they hit them hard. But here's my question to you, have you ever been anywhere in the world where there wasn't
[09:33] a McDonald's or a Dairy Queen or a Subway? Well I bet you haven't but I've been to a hundred cities like that and you know it's a real breath of fresh air. But the flip side of that is there's a huge amount of opportunity for first world people who do want to come down and stick a franchise in there so it's a double edged sword. But sooner or later a first world tourist is bound to pick up on that and the franchises will trickle in. So in the meantime I'll just enjoy these little towns and cities while they're still franchise virgins. Now to change the subject a little bit, I'd like to go back to that theme I spoke about a little bit on last week's show concerning what happens to a certain percentage of expats that end up going native. That is they end up living just like the average latin guy on about three or four hundred bucks a month. And of course to us first world expats that come down with a completely different plan
[10:20] that is to live like a first world person on a half or a third of what it takes to live up in the first world, well we can spot the guys that go native right away. They live in a ragged subdivision or an area that's considered dangerous. Their house is decorated right out of modern trailer court magazine and these guys that have gone native always look a little unwashed and disheveled. And if they do own a car, it's one that a first world person would be embarrassed to own and wouldn't even accept if someone gave it to you. Anyway, there's another thing that happens to certain expats down here after a while and it's similar in some ways but not exactly in the class of going native and there really isn't a specific name for it because they don't exactly throw all their first world standards out the window like someone truly going native. But I'm referring to another kind of expat that kind of hits the skids. He comes down here to latin america with all the great expectations of everyone who does
[11:08] starts off living like a first worlder, buys a condo or even a beach house or both, lives the good life for a while and realizes he's spending about a half to a third of what he spent up in the first world and he actually ends up living the dream of so many first world people when you ask him what would you do if you won the lottery. Well a lot of first world people when asked that question say they take that money and go down to a tropical island or tropical destination, build a house on a beach and just sit there and relax in a hammock, drink pina coladas and daiquiris till the sun sets and watch the world go by. Now haven't we all had that thought? I know before I came down here I had it a hundred times and sometimes unfortunate things do happen to expats who have that attitude. And when bad things happen to expats in their personal life it's almost always of their
[11:54] own doing. Anyway it's like the guy who counts the days and the years to his retirement and when he finally retires he doesn't know what to do with himself, he sits home all day watching TV and his big highlight of the day is walking the dog and picking up the poop. Well let me tell you that happens to a certain percentage of expats down here no matter what. Yes and especially those who retire young and with a nice pension. Because let me tell you if you have a three thousand dollar a month pension which can be a pretty common payout up in the first world and in fact some people have a lot more. Anyway when you have that kind of money coming in although it doesn't sound like much at all in the first world, down here on that kind of money you can buy that beautiful beach house with a beautiful view and sit by the pool on your lawn chair sucking down those daiquiris all day if you want and I've seen that happen to a lot of expats myself once they get settled down here and they fall into a routine and they find that they're living
[12:44] like a king and all they have on their minds is that they're sick of work up in the first world and all they want to do is relax and retire and lay back. Just like a hard working guy is expected to do in the twilight of his years and a good percentage of them do just that only how long can you sit on the beach and suck down daiquiris and watch bikinis go by until you finally turn into a lush and a lot of expats have found that out the hard way. However that rarely happens to expats who up in the first world were busy extroverted type A personalities you know the motivated driven kind the ones you hated to have for a boss remember those guys they got things done all right but most people hated them well when they become expats they stay the same and they're the ones keeping their eyes open they pretty much instantly see all the opportunities and advantages that first world people have when they come down here and they usually start making some kind of business
[13:31] plan right away anyway so the key thing to keep in mind for all you expat wannabes up there is that sure you'll have an infinitely easier much more stress free and inexpensive lifestyle once you get here but you're also gonna have a lot of time on your hands think of it you'll be living the life only a privileged rich person could live up in the first world you'll have a maid and a gardener and a driver maybe even expats I know that came from modest means up in the first world they don't do laundry cut the grass wash the car clean out the garage do the windows or even bother the shop or cook anymore you don't have to when you're paying someone fifteen dollars a day to do it and they're just glad to have a job so think about it what are you doing you have all that time on your hands well if you got a hobby like reading or writing or editing or you have an internet business or you restore
[14:18] furniture or you hunt down antiques or you paint or you're sculpt well you're in business because with that kind of extra time on your hands you'll really get good at your hobby or hobbies in fact you might even become a professional but alas a lot of expats who were work a day stiffs up in the first world come down here and they don't have hobbies so as you might imagine with all that time on your hands and no hobbies you can easily become a drunk and I've seen that happen to a lot of expats including some of my friends in fact a Canadian friend of mine just happened to win more than a million bucks in the Canadian lottery and I met him down in Costa Rica where we both owned beach houses in the same complex in fact we were next door neighbors now he'd been a physical education teacher up in Canada and when he came down to Costa Rica he never let on that he'd won the lottery because as
[15:03] his wife told me much later when I did find out that he made his money from the lottery and not as a result of him being some kind of fantastic businessman which of course everybody assumed because of his lifestyle anyway as his wife told me in no uncertain terms it ruined their life up in Canada suddenly everybody was nicking him for a loan friends and relatives were coming out of the woodwork with screwy business propositions and all manner of crazy schemes and being a pretty social guy every time they went out to dinner or anywhere for that matter his friends looked at him as if he should pick up the check so after a few failed restaurants and screwy business propositions he decided to just pack it up and live in the sun and fun down in Costa Rica but he kept it a big secret because he didn't want anyone down there to find out how he'd made his money lest the same thing happened to him all over again and the funny way I found out
[15:51] was we happened to have the same lawyer who was the lawyer of that same beach development project we lived in and one day the lawyer dropped it on me in casual conversation and I said what well that doesn't matter either way but one day his wife came over and knocked on the door and she sat down by the pool with me and she said you know I'm having a big problem with my husband I really don't know what to do we've been down here in Costa Rica about two years and he's up to a case of beer a day now he was a little guy only about 140 pounds and I did notice he always seemed to have a beer in his hand but down here on those tropical beaches everybody seems to have a beer in their hands so he basically turned into a lush and it was easy to see why the guy just didn't have any hobbies and all he seemed to be interested in was sports which is about right since he was a physical education teacher up in Canada right I mean if he went over to his house he had a big satellite dish and he could get all 200 first world stations
[16:40] all those multiple sports packages and all that and he'd sit on his balcony with his beer and his tv and watch sports all day the guy just did not have a real hobby and down here since about all they have is soccer he even dragged me to a few matches and I can't stand soccer but I thought I'd go along with it because he was my buddy but to tell you the truth I enjoyed not one minute of it and that drinking was taking its toll because in the end I saw he and his wife were fighting a lot and he wasn't one of those happy drunks either he's the kind that gets more irritable though strangely enough when you live on the beach down here in the tropics even if you do drink a case of beer a day or even more if you pace yourself you almost never really appear drunk yeah you can look a little disheveled and sweaty with glazed over bloodshot eyes but that's what a lot of people look like when they're on vacation down here because they're partying and they're always
[17:28] drinking not to mention the fact that people who come down to the tropics on vacation from up in the first world always overdo it in the sun and often get pretty burned up and you can't really tell the guy that has that frazzled sunburn look from the guy who's a chronic case a day beer drinker add that to the fact that when you're in a beach town you're always sweating off whatever you drank so often when a guy drinks a case of beer a day he doesn't even have a pot belly to show for it and my friend the little canadian was a case in point and here's another thing I've noticed that kind of thing rarely happens to expat women but it happens to the men it seems that down here women almost always prefer drinking wine to beer and by the way expats find out right away that good wine is very cheap too because remember some of the biggest vineyards in the world are in argentina and chili and since the latin countries have internal trade agreements like mercasur you
[18:17] probably heard of that one right that's a free trade agreement among south american countries anyway the tariffs on wine and wine products are very low so naturally the prices are cheap down here it's not like the us or europe where taxes are quite heavy on those kind of products not to mention if you order a bottle of chilean wine up in atlanta georgia somewhere in that price is the shipping cost too and shipping something two or three thousand miles like that ain't cheap so down in latin america it's easy and cheap to be a wine lush too and i know some of you are wondering what's it cost for a beer down there well if it's the locally produced beer and every country has their own beer or two or three in the supermarkets in the shopping centers you can buy a bottle or a can of the local beer from anywhere from 40 to 75 cents depending what country you're in of course and if you're buying it by the single bottle or can or by the six pack
[19:05] 12 pack or the case then of course you'll get a better deal but if you just buy a single bottle or can it's between 40 and 75 cents and when you buy a can or a bottle of beer at the local buyer disco you'll generally pay anywhere from a dollar to three dollars for a can or a bottle and even up to five dollars per can or a bottle if you're in one of the popular tourist destinations where a lot of first worlders go and here's the thing about the locally produced beers it seems all the tourists rave about them for example anyone going down to honduras is going to try port royal or salvavitas beer and by the way salvavitas means lifesaver in spanish i don't think you'd get away with that name in the united states lifesaver beer when there's a warning on the bottle saying that it's going to damage your health i don't think so anyway tourists just love that beer and they probably love it because it's less than a buck a bottle and tourists especially low budget
[19:52] tourists like backpackers just buy that stuff by the cartload and by the way down here in latin america all the beer companies sell their beers in regular bottles cans and giant quart bottles too which the locals and the backpackers love because it's the cheapest way to go so when you walk into a bar or a cantina and you see a lot of those quart bottles on tables you automatically know you're in a low budget joint because it's a point of honor with the average middle class and upper middle class latin guy not to drink out of quart bottles because that marks you as a common person making only a few hundred bucks a month and that's why when a latin guy is on a date with a girl on a friday or saturday night even if he drinks out of the quart bottles all week long he'll never drink out of a quart bottle when he's with her he wouldn't want her to think he was coriente now that word coriente means common or low class without culture it has the same connotations as
[20:41] white trash or trailer trash does up in the first world so the latin's down here don't throw that word around lightly not to each other not face to face anyway they'll call each other coriente behind each other's back but face to face them's fighting words anyway backpackers and tourists don't know coriente from cordon blue so they drink out of quart bottles because they're cheap and they're kind of fun to drink out of and of course because you're from the first world you can get away with it without them calling you coriente just like a first world guy can hook up with a really low class latin girl that would never be able to mix with the middle or upper classes simply because she comes from the wrong side of the tracks but when she hooks up with a first world guy a european or an american that automatically opens every door and if he brought her to an embassy party she wouldn't be out of place at all in fact she could sit down and have
[21:27] a conversation with the vice president and nobody would think or say a thing it's as if that whatever a gringo does against the common norms like drinking out of quart bottles going into low class bars and dating poor but beautiful girls from the slums well that stuff's a okay as long as a gringo or a first worlder does it but if the locals did it that would be an embarrassingly low class thing to do coriente and i mentioned that tourists just love the local beer like for example in honduras would be port royal and salvavitas whereas the middle and upper middle class people in that same country always prefer to drink imported beer when they can like budweiser bex and heineken only to impress their friends of course because when they drink alone or at home they never drink the imported stuff only when they're out and they can be seen and by the way the common guy making 300 a month never drinks the import stuff though he'd love to and that's why
[22:16] the local beer has such high volume sales since more than half the population in every latin american country make 300 a month or less and they're not going to buy an imported budweiser bex or heineken for three or four dollars a bottle when they can buy the local stuff for a buck and get just as drunk not to mention you can get the local stuff in quartz and you'll never find budweiser that way now like i said tourists seem to love the local beer it always tastes a little bit different than the stuff they're used to up in the first world and of course there's that added attraction of that funky bottle color and that weird label that they've never seen before but the fact is long-term expats living down here having drunk a lot of that local beer over time soon come to the realization that it's not much better or worse than any other cheap beer up in the first world no matter what you hear about it on the internet or whatever raves you might have
[23:02] seen on a backpacker blog just remember this when backpackers returned for the first time from a third world vacation they're always carrying a bit of that starry-eyed vacation dazzle with them back home you know the feeling when you go to a far off vacation spot for the first time and you go back to cleveland with all those great memories then next year you go back down again and it's not quite the same the second time is it it's as if someone suddenly lifted the corner of a beautiful carpet and you realize that's where the maid's been sweeping the dirt you know that honeymoon phase we all go through when we first go down to a tropical place you don't remember the sweat the sunburn the scorpions the mosquitoes and the brown water that came out of the tap you remember the cheap beer the all-night discos on the beach and the topless scandinavian girls right oh and back to that story about my canadian friend the lottery winner
[23:49] who ended up at his first world beach house drinking a case of beer a day well like i said i've seen that happen to a lot of expats well you know you see that a lot with expat guys but you almost never see it with expat women though like i said before the expat women do like their wine some way too much it's a strange phenomena and it's not just because the women tend to prefer wine and drinks with little umbrellas in them and the fact that winos can usually hide their problem better at least there's not a lot of bottles and cans laying around as evidence and i really don't know the reason why but there's got to be 10 times as many expat men who've become beach house drunks as there are expat women and it's especially obvious when expats retire in popular tourist destinations where it's easy to find a lot of like-minded souls with the same hobby and how do i know that well it's like this in that retirement and even early retirement age group when first
[24:40] worlders like that finally qualify for a pension or social security at 62 the ones that really want to come down and become expats often come as pairs husband and wife and they might even have two or more pensions to their credit so they're really living high up the hog now in this particular group of expat pared up pensioners try saying that three times really fast anyway i've never heard the husband say his wife has become a lush but i've heard many times from the wife on the sly of course that her husband's become a lush a case of beer drinker a day or even more and like i said i don't know why that is but i'm sure there's a master's thesis in it somewhere so if there's any sociology grad students out there looking for a topic anyhow my theory is this before the guy came down and became an expat he was busting his butt for 30 years or more at some
[25:27] company in rochester new york on a job he hated and he promised himself when he did retire he'd get a beachfront property in the tropics and suck down margaritas all day long and maybe his wife didn't have a full-time job and if she did didn't actually hate it not like he despised his job so maybe the wife worked full-time and maybe she didn't but he had to hang in there for his pension and most of these guys can count down their days to retirement from the day to the minute to the second that's how much they hate their jobs so this guy's got nothing on his mind but retirement and relaxation now funny enough i've seen that theory in action with first world policemen firemen and government workers that come down here and become expats and believe it or not a lot of these folks are public school teachers they hate their jobs too even career military people often retire and
[26:15] decide to come down here because you see a lot of those government jobs in the first world let you retire with a pension after 20 years so you can come down here in your early 40s as a retiree which sounds awful nice who wouldn't want retirement at 40 but if you don't have some kind of definite plan for your life or some hobbies at that young age you could become a lush in a hurry it's really easy especially when you've got nothing but time on your hands so just a little warning to expat wannabes up there before you decide to make that big move and come down make a little list of the hobbies you have or the ones you might want to have because if you just come down here to retire hang out and lounge around sometimes paradise can backfire on you and of course that doesn't apply to expat wannabes who are thinking of starting a business once you get down here or maybe two or three because as anyone knows who
[27:04] starts a business anywhere there just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day to do everything you want to do and that's true whether you've got a business up in the first world or down here in latin america so just a little word of warning so you don't fall into a common expat trap though if on the other hand your object is to be a lush and you like to drink a case of beer more a day or you like big volumes of high quality cheap wine well latin america is just a place for you so come on down you've been listening to the expat files living in latin america coming to you each week from somewhere south of the border and don't forget you can email me on anything at all about latin america the expat files at gmail.com once again the expat files at gmail.com see you next time