#1077 – The Expat Files: Johnny Mueller on Life in Latin America and Cultural Challenges

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play and now that I wonder Hello there all you ex-pat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great And it's all right here. So let's get started. All right. Here's a good one comes from Lester He says Johnny your show is all about the good the bad the ugly and the great in Latin America because you've lived there a long Time, can you tell us the things you absolutely hate about Latin America that you know, you can never change

[00:46] I think I know a few of them one being rag-a-thon music. I listen every week as always signed Lester Well less yes rag-a-thon music's on my top 10 hate list and there's absolutely nothing I can do About even when I have a little get-together at my own place now, remember I'm way off the gringo tourist trail So I have very few gringo expat friends most of them are Latinas and Latino and right away The boom box is blasting reggaeton and what am I supposed to do throw a wet blanket on the party? Now I just have to put on a happy face and internally cringe Same thing goes for practically every mom-and-pop store you walk into the blasting of reggaeton music now Of course in franchise stores like Walmart big box stores like Costco and the big malls They know better than to play reggaeton. They're generally playing more toned down Latin rock or Latin ballad music, which is okay

[01:36] You know salsa samba. I mean hell Latinos invented that and they're really good at it It's just that raggaeton and Latin rock that absolutely drive you nuts So you either have to accept it or somehow figure out a way to tune it out Problem is for me as you long-time listeners know I'm a B grade musician not fantastic at any particular instrument But I can play a lot of them Adequately and maybe because of that and because I've got a really precise ear for musical mistakes clubs and sour notes That's certainly why I'm hypersensitive about my musical dislike though I gotta say one of the things you'll notice when you're down here a while is that Latinos just break into a song at any particular Time but they do need the music so they're not gonna just start singing on if they sing more than a couple bars They'll start swiveling their hips too, which is pretty cool and interesting cuz I can't do it

[02:21] Very few gringos or gringos can pull that off like a latina or latino can so be ready for it And be ready for the fact that if you're with a group of latinas or latinos And they're busting a 30-second move in a bank a parking lot or a Walmart They'll try to get you to do it too for me a completely unacceptable situation So again, if there's a song playing in the background, they absolutely love they'll just start singing bust out with a few lines Problem is 95% of the people in all the world can't sing including latinos and latinas That means 95% of the time when a latino or latina starts vocalizing if you've got an ear for music at all It'll just grate on you though once in a while a 5% or one with a really good voice will really make you crack a smile and surprise you so I Don't really categorize how latinos break into a song as something I hate

[03:10] It's just annoying sometimes probably most times as is the fact that anytime you walk into a bar restaurant or mom-and-pop Tienda the TV will be way too loud, and it'll seem there's only two available channels sports and soap operas Deportes y telenovelas. I'm used to that stuff and ordinarily it doesn't bother me unless it's really loud Then sometimes I'll tell the waiter to turn it down and they usually do but somehow latinas especially latinas Have a talent and an act for having entire conversations with the TV or boombox on maximum I'm talking ragaton at full blast which makes it even more painful to hear All right, let's continue with what drives me nuts in Latin America that I just can't change well How about those tumulos those terrible speed bumps that are sometimes so high off the ground you actually bought them out

[03:57] And it's a cringe-worthy event and for a split second you think the worst that it's sheared off your oil drain plug And that's an immediate and very serious problem so for tumulos There's nothing you can do about it except buy a pickup truck or a mini SUV something That's a little high off the ground Maybe six to nine inches of ground clearance would be good by the way I've checked the ground clearance on new pickups and SUVs and the highest ground clearance I'm seeing is with a Tesla Model Y and a Jeep Cherokee about nine inches another thing that drives me nuts And you can't do anything about are the traffic cops every city has them especially during a rush hour Problem is though. They've got some moron IQs aka Shit for brains and they always seem to make the traffic all that much worse And I'll tell you everyone to a person will admit that if they didn't exist at all the traffic would continue to flow

[04:46] More than likely much better another thing about Latin America that drives me nuts And you just can't change the fact that everyone and I mean everyone is on mañana time Call an electrician a plumber an air conditioning guy. They'll say they're coming first thing in the morning Well, you're lucky if they make it there any time tomorrow that you can count on worse yet Even though everyone's on what's up and doesn't cost a cent to text you or call you They won't the end of the day will roll around you'll call or text them and they'll say Los siento famous last words I'm sorry. I'll be there tomorrow realistically the only time you can sort of count on a Latino worker getting there on time is if you're scheduled as the very first appointment of the day eight or nine o'clock But still it's probably less than a 50-50 shot The other thing you can't change and which is pretty annoying is that most places lack the sanitation

[05:35] You're used to up in the first world that includes mom-and-pop restaurants health clubs strip malls and movie theaters and man You're really taking a chance if you use the restroom at a gas station, of course in the states They're the lowest rung on the bathroom ladder too But here in Latin America, they're even worse though on the plus side all international chains and franchises have to maintain certain first-world standards That's why it's a good bet if you can't wait to hit McDonald's Burger King or Kentucky Frat. Hey, I've done it That's one of the only reasons I go into any of those places though They are really good places to have a short business meeting Everyone knows where they are and they're centrally located and about that sanitation and hygiene problem Unfortunately, it also includes your Latino friends and neighbors So when you're invited to a quinceaños party or a barbecue Whatever be prepared for the worst when you go into the kitchen or the bathroom, although epidemiologists and biologists will tell you

[06:26] That's probably why the Latino population is good and hearty, you know Darwinism working through the ages so the survivors today they can drink their water out of a tap eat as many tacos on the street as They want and still not be too much troubled by old Montezuma again That's one thing you can't change when you're visiting other people's houses or eating street food or going to mom-and-pop restaurants, etc That's why I always recommend no matter how good the food looks You're taking a big chance if it's street food and as far as the barbecue at Julio's house next door Go ahead knock yourself out. But don't eat any of the cold salad plates if it's cooked and still hot normally it's a okay It's those raw fruit and vegetable dishes that'll get you but in your own home You could and should train up your maid or cleaning lady to first-world hygiene standards or you'll suffer the consequences

[07:13] And there's a hygiene problem with taxis and ubers, too Generally their cars are just filthy though. I know to be a uber driver You have to have a decent car you upload pictures to the uber website To apply and get accepted as a driver But that's only at the beginning when you first get started working for them and still there are way more regular taxis than ubers here In Latin America, so you must be prepared for the worst Ubers at least seem to be fairly new cars with some standards, but regular taxes can be complete junks I'd say at least half of the regular taxes here in Latin America would have already spent some years in the junkyard Had they been in service as a taxi up in the States Okay, another on the top five of my Latin American irritations the fact that no skilled worker contractor or repair guy ever Cleans up after himself and if you let them use your restroom

[08:01] Look out and as for the job itself your painter will get drips and drabs and overspray on your windows and floors He won't clean it up Oh, he might try but he won't get it all your plumber will cut pipes and drill holes and he'll leave the mess on The floor and even if you tell him look the job's not done. You got to clean up He'll do a half-ass job of it Electricians and carpenters will leave their grubby fingerprints everywhere, too So if you've got white walls, look out and if you say hey, wait a minute You got to clean it up before you leave they'll give it a half-ass try but never really to your satisfaction In fact just recently a gringle friend of mine had some solar panels installed on his house. The system is all fired up He'd been using it for a while And then the rainy season came and he had to go up on the roof for some reason or another and he noticed under the Panels cuz they're lifted off from the roof about a half foot There were empty tubes of roof sealant chunks of the metal mounting system

[08:48] They didn't use a couple of dozen stainless steel bolts and washers and assorted empty soda cans and junk food wrappers Some of which got stuck in his gutters And that's why he went up on the roof in the first place the rainy season came and the roof wasn't draining properly And we're talking about professional solar panel installers. That's all they do every day Oh and look out when you get your car repaired, of course, you could take it to a dealer You'll pay twice or three times as much then if you use a little local mechanic working out of a shack And though you'll save a ton of money using the neighborhood guy You won't put any protection on the floor mats or the seats your car Those guys are filthy from crawling under cars and changing oil even before the covid it thing You wouldn't want to shake hands with them In fact, they know they're loaded with filthy grime So they just give you a fist bump yet another thing that drives me nuts

[09:34] In fact after having my car seats monged up a few times I actually carry an old beach towel in the trunk and when I take it to the mechanic I tuck it over my front seat Every time so let that be a lesson to you when you buy a car here in Latin America, too My advice never buy a car with light colored upholstery Even though dark brown gray and black will get hotter in the Sun and absorb more heat It's a trade-off either you have very hot seats But stains that won't be noticed or would you rather have cream colored or white upholstery like so many cars do these days and have Them looking crappy in a hurry another thing on my list of things that drive me nuts here, and I can't change latinos with dogs Hey, I don't care how they take care of their dogs. That's their business, but when I walk into their house I don't want that guy jumping up and pawing me when I sit in the living room

[10:20] I don't want him jumping up on my lap, and I don't like seeing little carpet stains everywhere It makes you suspicious you know how when you walk into a house, and it smells like cat or dog You really don't feel good about sitting on the furniture But that's just me and maybe I'm too picky and finally on my list of course there are hundreds of things I really like about Latin America, but someone asked what don't I like all right? And the final thing on this list for today Anyway is the fact that you can walk into practically any kind of store an appliance store hardware store Electronic parts store Walmart Costco Whatever and the people working there the ones with you know little badges and stickers that say hi. I'm an employee I'm here to help you the sad thing is they know less about the products or even where they're located than you do I mean really way back when I lived in Chicago. I used to frequent hardware stores a lot

[11:09] They had lots of mom-and-pop ones back then even in the big hardware stores that people work on there Knew what they were talking about if you were looking for a certain kind of latch Fastener lock paint whatever they actually knew about that stuff and could give you helpful tips But here in Latin America forget about it of course it might be that way up in the states now to hide I don't know because the era of mom-and-pop grocery and hardware stores is long gone all right moving on You know I've got lots of listeners in Mexico And the emails pro and con for living or getting hell out of Mexico are trickling in all the time though more and more They're in this covid it thing emailers are getting fed up living there like for example this email coming from a longtime listener Bob Who says now the Mexican government's starting to force mandate the covid it facts hey? That's no good, and it's completely against

[11:55] Freethinking libertarian principles, and here's the dope on it most of the following facts come from Mexico news daily Bob starts by saying the Mexican president just basically ordered the army to vex everyone in Oaxaca state and Chiapas Veracruz Guillermo and Puebla states as you might have heard some of the villages are bucking this and are saying hell No, I'm not getting vexed. We'll see how that goes, but as gringo expat tourists I can't see us getting targeted, but if you're past the wrong roadblock or checkpoint They might be setting you up for a jab also Johnny another ominous trend in Mexico's Quintana Roo the governor and Motsilon mayor say no one can go into any public space without proof of vex or a test in the last 72 hours

[12:40] Then he gives me the news links to these crackdown stories then Bob continues Johnny The truth is coming out in this whole scam may be exposed by years end the CDC's got its own damning bomb Shells coming out just this past week. What do you think Johnny? I will summarize what's just come out the CDC admits this week that the PCR test detect just a common cold and flu viruses It will be pulled by years end bottom line the PCR tests do not work correctly all right Bob It's me well You know if you go over 25 with the multiplication you'll get all kinds of false positives even Carrie Mullis the guy who invented the test Got an old Bill prize for it. He's dead now unfortunately He said over and over again his own PCR test cannot detect if someone's really infected or not But no, let's not listen to the guy who invented the PCR test and got the Nobel Prize for it

[13:29] But there's loads of money to be made if you can give a worthless test a million times a day by the way Kerry Mullis Who invented the PCR test said many times on record dr. Falsy is a fraud and that was years ago way before COVID and then Bob states amongst other things the CDC's own stats say flu Cases were down in 2020 by 76% so where they all go well They're relabeled as COVID now right then Bob lists some more things here, too He's asking my take on this well Bob. Let me throw a little gas on the fire. There's something called VAERS It's the vaccine adverse event reporting system Did you know about that so there actually is a government website you can go to where you can report if you had some Nasty secondary effects from the VAX now you may have heard of this site VA ERS That's the vaccine adverse event reporting system. Here's what you didn't know

[14:16] Harvard University just released a study commissioned by the US government concluding that the virus system Vastly under reports adverse effects. Why is that first of all most people have never even heard of that reporting system including many doctors So in that Harvard study They're saying that less than 10% of people who have had bad secondary reactions ever go and report it on that official government website So whatever you do see on the website, the real numbers are at least 10 times worse now consider this and listen carefully according to the vaccine adverse events reporting system VA ERS fairs before COVID even came along there were a total of 605 deaths linked to all vaccines reported in that year 2019

[15:04] 605 deaths and then COVID came along and so far eleven thousand four hundred and five people have been reported dead on that website any if you multiply that by a Conservative 10 because less than 10% report on that site. That's over a hundred Thousand people dead due to severe COVID vaccine secondary effects By the way, if you want to link to this website send me an email the expert files at gmail.com now remember less than 10% of people who have adverse effects get on that website and report it because Most of them just don't even know it exists And if they did how would even get there and fill out the forms, but I'm looking at it right now and as of July 23rd 2021 just a few weeks ago that reported adverse secondary effects include eleven thousand nine hundred and forty deaths

[15:54] forty thousand nine hundred ninety one hospitalizations now remember you got to multiply that by ten which would mean over 400,000 hospitalizations due to adverse vaccine secondary effects there have been 4110 reported anaphylactic shock reactions on this site. Remember now multiply that by ten. That's 40,000 There have been three thousand seven hundred fourteen cases of Bell's palsy as a secondary covid it facts effect Remember, you can multiply that number by ten. It's thirty seven thousand and there have been one thousand two hundred and seventy-two Miscarriages reported on the site due to the covid it vax secondary effects. Remember again, you can multiply that by ten That's twelve thousand miscarriages. There have been forty seven hundred registered heart attacks. Remember you got to multiply that by ten

[16:42] That's forty seven thousand. There have been twenty two thousand severe allergic reactions. Remember multiply that by ten. It's 220,000 people having severe allergic reactions to the covid it vax There have been six thousand reported cases of permanent tinnitus. That's ringing in the ears after the covid it vax Remember again that the Harvard report says that less than ten percent of people report Anyway, you get the point. So if you want this info, send me an email the expat files at gmail.com I'll be glad to send it to you All right now a very interesting email from a young guy who was born and raised in Venezuela Obviously he went to some kind of helicopter school and he's going to grad school in the States right now His English is very good. At least his written English is it's from Carlos M Charlie M I've known quite a few Latinos named Carlos and the ones that speak a bit of English. They always tell me to call him Charlie

[17:32] That's okay. In fact, one of my English party rock bands had a Latino lead singer His name was Carlos and almost everyone except his parents called him Charlie Anyway, Carlos says I read somewhere Johnny that Americans seem to fund their own oppression That's the exact reason why I left California last year having lived in a socialist country and moved to the US I find myself solidly conservative Even though the media says most Latinos vote Democrat born and raised in the socialist country that starts with the letter V I wonder which one that is he says I left with my parents when I was 22 when the government Nationalized my parents business. I was warned that life outside my country would be hard and doggy dog

[18:17] I had my doubts too. There was lots of propaganda in the public schools saying it's essentially capitalists eat their own But you see Johnny my uncle's family lived in New York City and my parents wanted out and they found a way through him For me, even though the media in my country repeatedly drums in our heads that the US capitalist system is collapsing So I was a bit scared to leave I didn't have to go to New York with my parents But I was curious about other people's beliefs and cultures And I knew I could always go back to my home country V that I didn't even know was a shithole country because I had never been anywhere else I had to visit other places to see that my country was seriously damaged since my government censored Many outlets and we were told the world had problems like climate change and inequality

[19:03] Though even if things were not so good in our country now, it was much worse everywhere else After I arrived in New York and finally made it to California I realized people in this country the United States who complain about racism and sexism and bigotry and all the other isms are completely Oblivious to the amounts of repression and oppression in the other parts of the world that they glorify Or they accuse the US of having a big hand in undermining like the country I was born in Cuba, Russia, China But you find that people who talk and have big platforms have never really visited those places and probably never will And one of the only reasons, Johnny, I listened to your show and I bothered to write this to you Is that you've got 30 years living in Latin America. So you understand my points. You're no tourist So I came to the US and went to graduate school there liberal arts

[19:51] You don't know how many fellow college educated students and graduate students I ran into who think Those socialist countries I previously mentioned would be utopias If not for the covert harassment and embargo tactics of the US It's so pathetically sad for me to see the socialist rot that's taken hold here in California That's spreading across the nation even Canada. It seems hopeless I have something to say about Latinos and happiness, too We Latinos are generally a happy bunch But unlike North Americans we can be both happy and uncomfortable with our living conditions, too Unlike North Americans no matter how comfortable they are or how many things they have Americans find or invent ways to be unhappy The other thing is the more hard line the government like where I came from

[20:37] People are happy about what they're told to be happy about and they get mad about things They are told to be mad about or hate they have to conform to that in public or the going is tough To my big surprise. I found when I entered a graduate studies program in a california university I found the liberal democratic us education system was misnamed instead It was highly authoritarian with woke policies infecting the curriculum yet in most respects students seem Oblivious to it as a latin american immigrant and being in a state with a high percentage of latinos I was even more surprised to find out that my new liberal university acquaintances including second and third generation latinos Were often patronizing and put off by my presence and my comments even hateful sometimes to any other who disagrees with their politics

[21:26] I sometimes get the feeling they put up with me and invite me to parties because they have to Being nice to immigrant brown people seems to be part of the woke 10 commandments and though of all my schoolmates I'm probably the only one who actually lived under socialism no matter They still seem to have no desire to hear my arguments in any depth in discussions They not a lot But I know they're thinking i'm a third world guy and they're all first world thus smarter and no better than me They went to u.s grade schools and universities and I went to third world ones after experiencing that I almost think u.s liberal arts schools tend to lower not raise iq's Since i'm in the liberal arts program. So many of my friends and acquaintances are in the liberal arts, too It's disheartening to see how so many smart college level people are in love with socialist theories

[22:12] So much so they're incapable of unbiased observation. It was all a shock to me How did it get that way coming from my background? I have no faith in politicians. I'm apolitical myself I believe that all politicians even if they start with good intentions eventually become corrupted as every big organization does even churches and charities The perfect example is how when you're on campus? No one can mention republicans magga or trump without people rolling their eyes and feeling the hate coming through I'm apolitical myself. So I don't believe in trump or anyone else though. It's interesting to note nearly every venezuelan I know who has become a u.s citizen votes republican funny How nearly all cuban exiles who've got american citizenship vote republican, too? Try to explain that to the average woke person

[22:58] They don't want to hear it and then there's that problem of using the wrong pronoun If english is your second language like it is for me You will make that dreaded pronoun error all the time He she it they you know in spanish most words have a male or female gender l for male The designated masculine words and la la for the designated female words It's been like that in the spanish language for thousands of years So then technically by woke rules the whole spanish language is a sexist patriarchy So then what are spanish language literary folks supposed to do create another pronoun for gays lesbians trans and fluid people? Or drop the pronouns all together They're talking about altering the communication methods of an entire culture as you spoke about a few shows ago

[23:45] Johnny first world people even second and third generation latinos have invented a new term for us latinx I grit my teeth when I hear that phrase somehow It doesn't seem to matter that we've got a thousand plus years of being known as latinas and latinos But it seems woke people know better you can trust they will improve our culture for us Even though 99 of the woke ones are white caucasians or second and third generation latinos and latinos Who don't even speak spanish should never have been back to the homeland But that tiny minority knows what's best for the half a billion people who live in mexico central and south america Another sad even scary thing I found out about u.s Universities is that so few intellectuals know their own limits professors teachers even students Can be experts in their own chosen fields, but think their brilliance extends to everything

[24:34] They politicize everything too and reject the science that doesn't agree with their politics And when they find out I escaped with my parents from a failed authoritarian regime They say the us created the conditions for it to fail None of my smart liberal university trained friends have ever been to one of our socialist paradises though I invite them to visit for not justification but for a few months Spend time with the locals outside of the cities not for just a week or two like most church do-gooder groups They get the propagandized version They get the official approved tour guide who tells them and shows them exactly what the government wants them to see in here But no my smart gringo and latino friends don't have time for fact finding They'd rather get their info from the internet or cnn espanol My college student friends had their minds made up years before they ever met me so many of them believe

[25:23] Socialist regimes in latin america only failed because of us interference though johnny I do admire people who stand for something even if it's totally wrong or based on false facts It's sad to see how do-gooders and nearly all educated liberal arts professionals align with socialist ideals Someone tell me please why is it you can almost never find a venezuelan who believes socialism was good for his country Why do you think so many millions of us have escaped? What makes my california college friends turn everything including science into a woke political discussion? It seems so easy to understand that when science is funded by governments and bureaucrats and mostly from government grants at government funded universities You're bound to get false facts and biased conclusions Reminds me of the worldwide notion that cuba somehow has developed miraculous medical treatments that are being suppressed by the us

[26:12] Therefore unavailable even being covered up by the first world The other persistent myth is that cuba sends their doctors to world hot spots as selfless saviors with amazing knowledge and techniques That only cuban medical schools can provide well My own cousin on my mother's side is one of those loaned out cuban doctors He tells me he never touched much less had seen in person much of the modern first world high-tech hospital equipment You see in every small town american hospital He saw none of that in cuba or any of the cell level treatments until he traveled abroad As a doctor on loan from cuba to argentina. He said before that experience He only knew the latest equipment from seeing it on the internet And according to policy he says he must put on a happy face and talk the party line Went out of his country and on loan. He's got a family back home

[27:00] That's a requisite for traveling cuban doctors, too You can't travel outside of cuba as a doctor unless you have a wife children or close family members as sort of an insurance policy There's always that pressure to be a good closed-mouth latinx person That's my rant johnny. I've been saving it up I'm, so glad I found your channel because I think there's no other form that would give me equal time to say my piece Signed carlos charlie m. Well, thanks for that charlie. Great rant glad to give you a forum. You've pretty much said it all You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america If you need some help with your own plan b we can schedule a one-on-one phone or skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week long expat insider seminar in central america

[27:50] Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan b. Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com nos vamos