#109 – The Expat Files: Life, Culture, and Challenges in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:03] Hi everybody, I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to The Expat Files, living in Latin America. The show that tells you what it's really like to live, work, play and or retire in Latin America. I tell it just like it is, not the version they give you in those glossy travel magazines, or the picture they paint for you in those international traveler websites, where they're only trying to sell you something. What's it really like for expats living in Latin America? Well, it's time to take off those rose colored glasses and find out. So let's get started. Now that we're closing in on the Christmas season, the Christmas rush, the Christmas buying and everything else that goes before the last days of the big holiday, well, down here in Latin America, I'd have to estimate that everything's about twice as frantic as it is up in the first world, and people end up 10 times as broke when the new year comes

[00:49] around. Because you see, being that Latin America's about 20 or 30 years behind the first world when it comes to credit and credit cards, they actually think that having a bunch of credit cards in your wallet and some big credit line at a bank is a good thing. I'm talking about, of course, the credit card wannabes, the ones that don't have credit cards yet, but are looking to that fateful day when finally they're awarded that grand prize, a piece of plastic in their wallet that will eventually ruin their lives, of course. And it's funny, when you don't have a credit card, you're blissfully unaware of that feeling you get when you wake up in the morning and you know that credit card payment is due, and you just can't seem to chip away at all at the balance. Sound familiar? Latins have come to view credit cards as a rite of passage, even though a huge percentage of population doesn't have one yet. But believe it or not, it's the number one item on the common man's wish list down here.

[01:38] And I'm not talking about a debit card here, because almost all working people who work for a company and around the tax rolls have a debit card because that's how most of them get paid these days, buy direct deposit into an account, and they end up withdrawing their money from a cash machine. And though this might seem impossible to believe for a first world person like you, it's just amazing that there are tremendous numbers of Latin people, tens of millions, in fact, who dream of that magic day when they're awarded a real credit card. Which kind of blows my mind in every first world person who knows about this, because the average Latin American person, I should say 80% or more of the Latin American people, have absolutely nothing in the bank, I mean zero savings. Then again, maybe you and I don't either. So why in the world would 80% of the population with no savings at all want credit cards,

[02:28] which will not only ruin what little liquidity they have, but will put them into debt? Well, the thing is, nobody's thinking about that. They're just thinking about the fact that all the people that they aspire to be like, all the somebodies in their world, mostly upper middle class and wealthy Latins, and those people, by the way, drive cars and are not walking or taking buses, like the rest of the 80% of Latin America, and those people that the common man looks up to have a wallet full of credit cards, just like the people up in the first world. And they're whipping them out every place they go, even on a $3 McDonald's or Taco Bell charge. So that must be the way to go, right? Anyway back to that point about there being twice as much Christmas frenzy going on down here or even more than there is up in the first world, and that's all because of that huge Christian, especially Catholic influence down here, and if you don't believe me, all

[03:16] you gotta do is land at an airport. A lot of them are named after saints. I mean, come on, can you imagine landing at Our Lady of Immaculate Conception Airport in Denver, Colorado? Fat chance, huh? I guess that's because we have up in the first world what we call separation of church and state. That is, unless you look at US currency, which says, in God we trust on it. Which is kind of ironic in more than one way, because you notice how it doesn't say something like in Uncle Sam we trust? Well, nobody with a half a brain trusts Uncle Sam anymore, that's for sure. Which is one of the reasons why so many of us expats came down in the first place. Well, to tell you the truth, a lot of expats down here don't believe in either of them anymore. Uncle Sam or God. But that's another story. In fact, a very touchy subject. Because down here in Latin America, if you're an intelligent expat and you happen to be

[04:01] an atheist or an agnostic, the quickest way to lose friends, and maybe even make some enemies, is to open your mouth and let your Latin friends and acquaintances know your religious leanings or lack thereof. You admit something like that, and the rest of the folks in a room are apt to step back like you're going to get struck by lightning any second. Even the so-called intelligent, educated Latins act that way. And believe me, I've been there at parties, when there's been a heated discussion about religion and separation of church and state, Buddhism, Hinduism, atheism and all that stuff. And I've seen, the quickest way to put a chill into a room is to admit you're an atheist or an agnostic. In fact, sometimes you have to downright lie about it, unless you're willing to take the evil eye all night from everyone else in the crowd. And it doesn't matter how brilliant the points you make in defending your position, or how lame and idiotic the average Latin point of view might be, it's not really a subject

[04:50] that you want to touch on down here. Because 95% or more of Latin American people are absolutely convinced that every single word of the Bible is true. And they'll tell you so. And if your comeback is, which one of the 20 or so versions of the Bible are you talking about? Well, you've already made a few enemies. And since there's no separation of church and state, everybody in government embraces that idea too. And believe it or not, during election time, candidates often include Bible quotes in their campaign slogans and publicity, and they actually start and end their political proceedings with prayers. That's completely normal down here. And of course, it's completely normal for politicians to be the biggest of hypocrites too since they steal the country blind after they get elected. But the Lord is all forgiving, and God helps those who help themselves, right? And man, these politicians are experts at helping themselves.

[05:38] And they always praise the Lord in church on Sunday. Now, I'm not saying you can't talk about religion in mixed company down here. Hell, they talk about it all the time. In fact, I defy you to talk to any Latin person for five minutes or more, whether he's the lowest maintenance man or gardener to the highest level businessman. And it seems like somehow they always end up shoving God into the conversation. I mean, all you have to do is ask a Latin guy or gal how they're doing, and you'll get, well, I'm doing fine. Thanks to God, and then they'll look up and make the sign of the cross. Or maybe they'll say, I twisted my ankle, but it's getting much better. And God willing, by the end of the month, it'll be fine. Pray for me, will ya? And then they'll look up into the clouds and make a tiny sign of the cross again. So naturally, expats and expat wannabes, if you're an atheist or an agnostic at heart, the last thing you want to do is punch a hole in a Latin person's God bubble.

[06:23] And man, do the Latins believe in God. Just get in your car and drive around any Latin American city. Not only is every other park, street, and monument named after a saint or a deity, so are buildings and bridges and parking lots, even restaurants. But the most outrageous God and religion flaunting I've ever seen is on the cars and buses and trucks themselves. Now, I'm not kidding when I say that 90% of the cars, buses, and trucks down here have some kind of religious symbol or saying plastered on the bumper or the trunk, or on the front or back windshield, and sometimes on every surface imaginable. In fact, there's a quaint habit down here of bus and taxi owners to actually name their buses and their taxis and their trucks after Jesus or Mary or a thousand other Catholic saints. Now I know I've talked about the chicken buses before, which I don't recommend you ride,

[07:10] even though they're kind of quaint and you see them in all the tour books. But that's another story, and let's just say they're dangerous and the drivers are nuts, okay? Not to mention the buses themselves are death traps and would never pass a safety inspection in the first world, not by a long shot. Even brand new ones after a few months turn into absolute pieces of junk. But anyway, the point is, on the back of every one of these chicken buses, as well as along the side, the front, and the windshield, is the name of a saint or Mary or Jesus and always in gigantic letters. And alongside the name is usually a giant effigy or a stencil of whatever saint that bus is named after or Mary or Jesus, naturally. And the artwork almost always looks like it was done by a two-year-old with finger paints. Now of course, if you ask the driver or owner of the bus why they paint their buses up with

[07:56] all kinds of religious slogans and stuff, well, they always say that's for divine protection for the bus, the passengers, and the bus driver. And when expats hear that, they're always flabbergasted, since in the big newspapers down here, every single day in every single big city, there's at least one huge bus accident with a number of people killed. Always because the bus was going too fast for conditions, was way overloaded, was in bad repair, or the bus driver was drunk, or all of the above. So where's Jesus when you need him? And here's a sobering statistic. In the last year, in Guatemala alone, 137 bus drivers were killed on the job while being held up by extortionists and thieves on the road. And there were 96 bus drivers killed in Honduras that way in the last year, 47 bus drivers

[08:43] shot dead in El Salvador, 62 bus drivers killed on the job in Nicaragua last year. Well, anyway, you get the point. So you don't need to send me an email saying, what do you mean you don't recommend riding a chicken bus? It's recommended in folders, and Lonely Planet says it's a once in a lifetime experience. Yeah, I agree, it probably is alright, but it just might be your last experience on Earth too. Anyway, I was talking about the Christmas season, and how the Latin version of it outstrips anything you might see in the first world by two or even three times. So down here, close to Christmas time, the shopping malls are absolutely packed with people. And of course, the big retail businesses advertise their specials in the newspapers like crazy, and they call them offertas, that means special. And I like that word offerta, which is spelled almost exactly like the word offer in English. And that's just another example of why when you read a Latin American paper, you often

[09:31] get the gist of what's happening, even if your Spanish really stinks or is almost non-existent. Because when you see the word offerta, which sounds like offer, that means there's a sale going on. And to give you an idea of just how different and sometimes hilarious, or even somewhat sad, these Christmas sale ads sometimes seem to be. And while you'll never see something like this up in the first world, only down here in Latin America, here's a Christmas sale ad I just picked out of a Panama newspaper. And the title says, offerta navidana, which means Christmas sale, because navidana is part of the word navidad, and you all remember that song Feliz Navidad, which of course means Merry Christmas. So in translating this quarter page ad, it says, 20% off Christmas sale. Now you can get all the fashionable styles you've been looking for at 20% off.

[10:17] Our new stock, just in from the United States, includes colorful polo shirts, jackets, and vests. Get 20% off all through the month of December. And then they show some nice colored pictures of a handsome male model in a smart sweater and a vest, and another guy who looks a little like the new James Bond, Daniel Craig, and he's wearing what looks like a blue nylon windbreaker. Very smart. Now, normally an ad like this wouldn't draw your attention at all, it wouldn't even catch your eye. Except for what it says in big letters on the bottom of the ad. It says, if you come in this week and buy a gun, you get $50 off on our new stock of bulletproof clothing. And that's when your eyes light up. Bulletproof clothing? Because you see, this ad's not about selling regular fashionable men's clothing, it's about selling fashionable color coordinated bulletproof clothing.

[11:04] Then it goes on to list that the nylon windbreaker conforms to international standards of bulletproof outerwear, and that the polo shirt shown has anti-ballistic insert panels that are effective against 22, 25, 32, 38, 40, 45, 9mm, 357, and 44 Magnum calibers. Hey, such a deal, I think I'll go down and buy a few guns. Or maybe not. Anyway, anyway, I'm bringing this up to show you what kind of a free-for-all it can be down here. Because you see, I'm not reading an ad out of Soldier of Fortune magazine, I'm reading it out of the biggest major daily newspaper in Panama. And it's on the same page as a story about Disney, Pixar, and Steve Jobs, as well as a pictorial story about a Special Olympics marathon. And if you think someone in the newspaper's marketing department screwed up on the ad

[11:49] placement, well, you'd be wrong. That's just the normal randomness of the way ads are placed in newspapers down here. Though I do find it hard to imagine that someone who's reading a story about the Special Olympics is going to run out and buy a gun just to get a $50 discount on a bulletproof polo shirt. But I do know this about sales and marketing in Latin America. Right after Christmas, everybody's completely dead broke. And though there are tremendous sales at the shopping centers, sometimes half to 70% off, and the average public does come in droves to finger the merchandise and drool, the reality is, if you look around, you'll notice the people aren't carrying bags with things they've purchased. Instead, you'll see them walking around with ice cream cones and a McDonald's and Taco Bell and Burger King wrappers. Because that's about all they can afford with the spare change they've got left over from

[12:34] the Christmas splurge. And by the way, I have to mention this. Every single shopping center down here, whether it's a high-end shopping center, in the expensive business zones where all the international hotels are, where you'll find those high-end restaurants and discos too, well, from the high-end shopping centers like that to the most common strip mall in a little town of 10,000, in all those shopping centers big and small, you'll find a place, a little hole in the wall usually, where you can get a perfectly legal quick cash loan for anywhere from 50 to 1,000 bucks at absolutely blood-draining loan shark rates. In fact, when expat Eddie found out his last girlfriend took out a loan at one of those places for some furniture, and by the way, they don't lend you money unless you have a job or collateral, and in expat Eddie's girlfriend's case, she bought furniture so that was the collateral. Now, when she became Eddie's girlfriend and he found out she was paying every month on

[13:23] this loan, he asked her what kind of interest rate she was paying, and she said 7.5%. And he thought, well, that's not bad, in fact, it was kind of low, actually. That is, until he looked at her paper work and found out it was 7.5% a month, which works out to 90% a year, and she had that note for three years. So if she paid out monthly on the normal payout schedule, she would have paid about five times the original price she'd paid for that furniture, which listed at about 500 bucks, plus all those little extra charges, finance and credit card companies slap on you, that you really have no way to fight, and you always end up paying, or they won't sign off on the note when you're finished. Anyway, she'd have paid about 2,500 to 3,000 bucks for furniture that wasn't really even worth 500. Man, what a racket, and it's completely legal. And the way they get away with it down here, of course, is the fact that the big local

[14:11] retail outlets and the big transnationals like Sears and Walmart sell all their bigger stuff on a payment plan. And because the public doesn't have savings or cash, payment plans are the only way they can afford it, or think they can afford it. So when they can offer a $500 couch or a plasma TV for $32 a month for five years, well, that sounds awful good to a Latin person who suddenly sees that 32 bucks a month is affordable and doesn't bother to do the math on that tremendous interest rate, or has really no idea what interest rates are all about to begin with. And from what I can see, no one really ever does. Now, because these interest extortion rackets are everywhere, and I mean in every shopping mall, now wouldn't this be a great opportunity for all you expat and expat wannabes? Because if these guys are getting 90% interest a year, and it's totally legal, imagine if

[14:57] you open up a little hole-in-the-wall lending outfit right across the street or in the same mall and you offer half of that interest rate, 45%, man, the customers would be flocking to you when they saw what their monthly payment would drop to. And guess what? At 45% interest rate, you'd be a wealthy expat in a hurry, wouldn't you? And just think of it. In a business like that, you'd only have to have, let's say, 50,000 bucks in cash to do your start-up with practically no overhead except a small little hole-in-the-wall. So if you lent out that whole 50 grand, at 45% interest, you'd probably clear close to 20 grand yourself at the end of the year, enough to live pretty much like a king down here. And just think how much money it'd make if you scaled up the operation. Anyway, it's just a thought. Now that little example of what happened to expat Eddie's girlfriend gives you a nice snapshot of how out of touch and naive the average Latin American is down here.

[15:45] They're a consumer society in high gear with no money, which reminds me a lot of what it was like when I was back in high school and college, when me and my friends wanted nice cars and stereos and vacations and we didn't have enough money either, but we still got those pre-approved credit cards in the mail. Seems like you'd get one every month like clockwork. And a lot of us got sucked in the credit card black hole in a hurry. Remember that? Well, that was 20 or 30 years ago and guess what? It's being repeated right here in Latin America, so that's the state of things down here. And like expat Eddie said, when he questioned his girlfriend about it, trying to figure out how she could sign on to such a horrendous interest rate, her eyes just glazed over and she acted as if she didn't even know what he was talking about. She wasn't a dumb girl by any means, but she just couldn't get the concept of monthly versus yearly interest rate.

[16:31] I mean, what the hell are they teaching these people in schools? It's as if Latin Americans will sign on to any interest rate, no matter how high it is or low, they'll never even question it as long as the contract they're presented with appears to have an affordable monthly payment rate. And here's another thing, you know how if you take a loan out up in the first world, the loan processing agent is always required to break down all the charges and tell you the total interest rate you're going to be paying over the years and what part of your payment will be interest and what part will be principal. Well, that's the law up in the first world, but down here there is no such law, so they're not even required at all to do that. And in fact, it really doesn't matter because 95% of the people taking loans out down here, whether it's for a car or furniture or a house or whatever, they're just so damn happy to have been deemed credit worthy that they don't even pay attention to what that loan officer

[17:19] is saying and they're just in a massive hurry to sign on the dotted line and get home with that brand new stereo. And speaking of expat Eddie, here's an interesting story that happened to him just in the last few weeks. Now, like I said, Eddie has a couple of very successful businesses in El Salvador, small restaurants and little sushi bars. Now just recently, Eddie was in the market for a brand new small station wagon to replace one of his older ones that was a gas hog and had gotten into one too many smash ups and after a few good whacks, the electric door locks weren't working very good anymore and no matter how many times he brought it back in to get it fixed, there were just too many faults in the electrical system that just couldn't get it working right. And anyway, this thing was about 15 years old and on its last legs. Now the price of gas in Salvador is about five bucks a gallon and the price of diesel is about four.

[18:04] So Eddie's thinking about a diesel station wagon, then not only will he save a buck on every gallon, but he'll actually get a third better mileage, which adds up to a huge savings. And believe me, down here in Latin America, there's all kinds of diesels available that aren't even sold in the United States and they're absolutely clean, cleaner than a gasoline car because they have a special new technology with diesel. Actually, it's not that new. It's at least 10 years old, but it's called HDI single rail technology and it's the hottest thing in Europe right now. In fact, the top selling cars in Europe are those 1.4 liter diesel engine cars sold by Renault, Peugeot and Volkswagen and a few more odd companies you probably never heard of like Seat and Skoda. And the last time I checked on the internet, believe it or not, Peugeot sold more than five millions of that 1.4 diesel car in Europe alone.

[18:51] And you might wonder, since everybody seems to hate the French, in fact, the French kind of even hate themselves. Anyway, why would so many French people and the rest of Europe, especially the Brits who absolutely hate the French, well, why would they buy so many of these French diesel cars? There's three reasons for that. Diesel is cheaper than gas. These little diesels get 60 miles per gallon on the highway and 45 to 50 in the city. Can you believe that? And they're the farthest thing you can imagine from little tin utility boxes. They're actually quite luxurious, which is another reason why people like them. And the third reason that people buy them is because diesels last twice as long as a gasoline engine. diesels easily get 300,000 miles on them without even an overhaul. And that's why they're a favorite with truckers. But these little diesels are not like truck engines.

[19:37] They don't blow a lot of smoke. In fact, they blow none at all. They're very clean because of the new technology. So you might be wondering, why don't they sell them in the United States? Well, you know, that's a very good question. Maybe one of you out there can explain to me why I can buy a diesel Peugeot or Volkswagen or Citroen or Renault that gets 60 miles to the gallon down here in Salvador and up in the States. I'm stuck buying a Toyota that gets 35 or 40 miles to the gallon. And with a gas car, I got to pay 50 cents more a gallon. I don't get it, especially when Europe has some of the harshest environmental laws regarding exhaust fumes and air pollution in the world. So the U.S. just can't use that excuse that diesels are smoky and dirty. Oh, sure, those old diesel cars and those big trucks are, but not the new technology. So here's how Eddie's story turned out.

[20:23] He decided he wanted a Peugeot diesel station wagon new, and he cut a deal with the salesman. And when he came back the next day to fill out the paperwork and stuff, Eddie said, I'm not signing this and we're not going to do the deal unless you do something for me. And Eddie says, it says here, for this car's warranty, I get two years or 50,000 miles, right? And the salesman agreed. And then Eddie pulled out a piece of paper that he downloaded from the Peugeot site from England that says that very same car, the very same model has a three year, 150,000 kilometer guarantee, which works out to be a three year, 100,000 mile warranty. And then Eddie said, look, I want the same warranty that you get if you buy this car in England. Then the salesman said two years, 50,000 kilometers is our guarantee. And that's the one for England and they're different.

[21:10] And then Eddie said, but these cars aren't different. This car that you have is exactly the same one that they sell in England. And I don't know and I don't even care why Peugeot and Salvador has a different guarantee. I just want the same one England has. Go ask your boss if you can do that. Then he did like they always do in those car dealerships. The guy went away for a while and came back in about five minutes and said, no, we just can't do that. Then Eddie asked him to bring the manager back. He'd like to talk to him. And then the guy left again. But in the meantime, Eddie's lawyer, who was standing right there, opened his briefcase and took out $20,000 in fresh $20 bills and laid him out on the table in little stacks. And when the manager came back and saw that money, he sat down, thought about it a second and he made a deal and signed a paper to extend that warranty to three years and 150,000 kilometers,

[21:58] just like in England. And you might remember in a previous show, I mentioned that it's getting more and more difficult to buy things with cash down here in Latin America. Especially when it's $5,000 US dollars or more. Well, that's why Eddie's lawyer was with him. Because you see, in some places down here in Latin America, it's not that you can't pay with US dollars, large amounts of US dollars, that is. It's that if you do, you got to fill out all kinds of forms. Just like you have to do in the first world when you deposit a big amount of cash into a bank. And since Eddie's smart and he's a US citizen and he likes to remain under the radar, which is very wise, he didn't sign any of that paperwork in regards to the origin of that money. His lawyer did all the signing. And that's another reason I highly recommend that you have your own personal lawyer down here. And that you stick with just one and you don't go jumping around from lawyer to lawyer to

[22:46] find the best deal. They're all absolutely dirt cheap compared to first world shysters, provided, of course, that when you first come down here, you find a lawyer the way I recommend you find one. And not just flip through the yellow pages and look for one that speaks English. And I went into great detail on how to find a lawyer in one of my past shows, so you can look that up in the archives. Anyway, the fact that Eddie had his lawyer present to sign all the paperwork made the deal go all that smoother and, of course, allowed Eddie to buy that car using one of his Latin American corporations called a society that Anani Ma, which I also mentioned in detail in a past show so you can look it up. Anyway, by putting his new car into that corporation, Eddie gains a lot of legal advantages that he doesn't get if he owns that car simply in his own name. For one thing, if him or someone else is driving that car and they get into an accident

[23:34] and somebody gets hurt or killed or ends up in the hospital, the corporation itself is the entity that's liable, not the driver or Eddie. And down here in Latin America, where the court system can be absolutely stupefyingly slow and, in fact, unpredictable and chaotic, to put it mildly, owning a corporation down here and putting all your assets under it is a great idea. So there's no wonder why millions of expats go under the radar and do it. But anyway, as far as Eddie's car buying story went, he got what he wanted at the price he wanted and he squeezed out a first world warranty to boot, which, frankly, I never thought to do myself. So once again, my hat's off to Eddie for pulling that one off. And by the way, though Eddie did manage to get his warranty extended on that car, you'll never get anyone to agree to extending your warranty on a small ticket item. In fact, down here, all the retail businesses are on board now with trying to sell you an

[24:24] extended warranty for an extra $20, $30, $40, $50, depending on the product. You know the drill. It happens up in the first world, too. And if you read Consumer Reports magazine or any of the consumer journals, they'll tell you it's almost never worth it. The extended warranty is a big winner, all right, but not for you. It's a nice commission for the salesman who talked you into it. So ironically, it turns out the extended warranty that they'll sell you down here, for some extra money, of course, will get you a warranty that's pretty much the same as the one you get for nothing up in the first world, on the same product. So go figure, which probably has some of you thinking right now, why should the product warranties down here in Latin America be so much shorter for the exact same product that you can buy up in the first world? Well, the only answer to that is it's because they can get away with it down here. The fact is, not so long ago, you didn't get a warranty or a guarantee at all down here

[25:13] in Latin America. Before the transnationals landed, like Walmart, Sears, and Office Depot, there was just no factory service department for complicated equipment like computers and electronic products and TVs and such. 10 or 15 years ago, before the transnationals came with their fully equipped service departments, you just bought a TV or a washing machine, as is, and hoped to hell it didn't break down. Because if it did, even a couple of weeks or a month later, it was on your nickel. So when local and transnational companies actually started offering warranties, no matter how limited compared to the first world version of the warranty, well, the Latin customers were overjoyed. And why wouldn't they be? As a matter of fact, as I mentioned in one of my shows a long time ago, even if you buy a brand new product like a hard drive or a stereo, and it says right on the box you have

[25:58] a three year guarantee, chances are you won't get a three year guarantee, you'll get a one or a two year guarantee. You'll find when you go to the checkout counter and you get your receipt. Most often, at the big stores anyway, you'll have to go to a customer service window and fill out a warranty card. And that warranty card, which will be in Spanish now, not English, even though the original box the product came in might be printed in English, anyway, when they hand you that warranty card and you sign it, if you take a good look, you'll find that almost always they've cut that warranty time period in half or even a third. And when you point to the box and say, hey, it says three years here and you only gave me two or one, they just shrug their shoulders and say, this is Latin America. Though, some stores insist that you can take it back up to the United States and get the

[26:44] full first world warranty. Yeah, right. You're going to fly to Miami from Columbia to get a $15 blow dryer fixed. And here's the surprising thing to me and a lot of other expats I know, even with the giant transnational chains that have landed down here, like Sears and Walmart, even they don't honor the guarantees that are printed right on the box. They're notorious for slashing guarantees too. In fact, I was in Walmart the other day, looking at one of these home theater setups made by Bose, which is a very expensive and high quality brand. Anyway, it had a lifetime warranty printed on the box. And I asked the salesman standing there and he said three years and I laughed and I said three years, some lifetime. That's no lifetime for me, but it might be for my friend here. And I pointed to expat Eddie who was standing by the cafeteria trying to light up a cigarette

[27:30] right under a no smoking sign. You've been listening to The Expat Files, living in Latin America, coming to you each week from somewhere south of the border. And don't forget, you can email me on anything at all about Latin America, The Expat Files at gmail.com. Once again, The Expat Files at gmail.com. See you next time on Spamos.