#1112 – The Expat Files: Health, Connection, and the Search for a New Home

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now that I wonder Hello there all you ex-pat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started All right. How about this email that comes from an expat insider seminar alumnus? He came down the seminar I think five years ago now and is living in Guatemala in and around Lake Atitlan Considered by people in the know to be the first or second most beautiful lake in the world for some reason if you look it up

[00:50] But always seems to be a battle between Lake Atitlan and Lake Como in Italy Have you seen either one of them one of the differences being that in Lake Atitlan? You could get lakefront property starting at around a hundred grand and Lake Como Starting at around two million hmm decisions decisions So anyway our expat insider alumnus who's living there now writes Johnny I found a very interesting and positive secondary effect that happens to us when we get out of that You may have mentioned this before in your show, but I didn't catch it You've talked about when you get out of dodge how the stress and anxiety levels instantly start to drop I've found that absolutely true and within six months There was a noticeable drop in my blood pressure and a general overall improvement in my attitude and general health

[01:36] I lost 15 pounds to I think it's the elevation and all the walking around over the four years I've lived here I've had a number of visitors down from the states and they told me I'm a different person Always in a good way to to my face and I know a lot of it's got to do with the atmosphere the air The open street markets with most of the food grown right in the area the fact that I'm in the Alti Plano with no air conditioning or heating so I've got a tiny energy footprint and all that makes me feel good and Adds to the general feeling of your well-being not to mention the locals even the poorest of them are always smiling and seem generally happy So much happier Then my family and friends up in the States and the ones that have come down to visit who still text and email me and that's The point I want to discuss, you know when I first got down my messaging texting email and social media were off the charts

[02:25] With all the friends and family up north chiming in all the time wondering how I'm doing I'm surviving have I been kidnapped robbed or extorted yet to my face they were positive but on social media You know, you can say what you want and they always seem to come off a little edgy though They didn't come right out and say that they would send me little articles and news clips and links to various negative stories about US Citizens in Latin America almost as if they wanted me to report bad news back to them Though when I left four years ago, some of my friends and family were positive or neutral about my anticipated move They all wanted the best for me, of course, but didn't want me to leave Really some of them said they were jealous and minted the 10 or 20 percent who saw exactly which road the US was going down Though more than half of them gave me a look rolled the eyes and said are you sure you want to do that Peter?

[03:14] I've heard stories about gringos going down and some of them don't turn out very well. I heard him too But then again Johnny they don't listen to your show and they never came down to your seminar And none of them had been anywhere but vacation spots in Mexico like Cancun and only one of my friends had ever been South of Mexico and that was Costa Rica oddly enough. He's the one that said go for it Pete So Johnny as mentioned when I left four years ago, I was in constant contact with my friends and family They wanted up-to-the-minute reports on how my adventure was going though I could tell they weren't quite listening when I told him how happy I was Everyone loves gossip and bad news, but I didn't have any but here's the thing over the years Little by little the messaging and social media contact I've had with those connections up north has slowly faded away and the disconnect with some of my age old friends has been

[04:01] Almost complete. For example, one of my best friends Paul during the first couple months I left with email or text me practically every day and now four years later I only hear from him every three or four months when somebody dies or he's planning a trip to a resort like Cancun or something Inquiring if I'd like to meet up with him there. He's one of those Americans who's got no concept of world geography thinks everyone who lives in Latin America's within two hours drive of Cancun My point is Johnny in that four years. I've been down here. I've made a whole new group of friends gringo and otherwise I've got a whole new chapter to my book of life and people who might hear this if you read this on your show Johnny I think it's rather sad or melancholy to disconnect from all those early friends and acquaintances mark my words

[04:48] You will disconnect from them. But is it really that sad? The good news is in my case Anyway, I used to spend a lot of time with people who didn't add value to my life Everyone's got a few energy sucking friends around them Complainers whiners critics wet blankets natural party poopers. I bet you're thinking of one or two in your life right now I'm sure you know how hard it is to dump or avoid them if they're living nearby and almost impossible to cut them out of your life If they're family members, you reminded me of that Johnny in the show when you were talking about time vampires and energy suckers I never thought about it too much until you mentioned it only now I realize getting out of Dodge solved that problem completely for me. It's automatic. It just happens So if you're kind of a social coward like me I find it hard to tell people to their faces that they're full of shit or that I don't feel like hanging or going

[05:37] Out with them because they're boring Consider this cutting those people out of your life just by virtue of getting out of Dodge will make you healthier psychologically speaking Then he says I'm thinking of one particular childhood friend right now A real negative downer kind of guy about a childhood friends a childhood friend, right? I just know when he would phone up or show up at my door or show up at any party It just puts a damper on things, but they're friends even if they're boring once and you do have to invite them to your parties However, just the act of getting out of Dodge solves all those problems for you I just want to verify Johnny that it's so true getting out of Dodge and voting with my feet was the best thing I ever did it even helped me ditch the people that didn't add anything positive to my life Though just a word of caution try not to add any new negative people or time wasters to your life

[06:26] There's always that danger, especially when you first arrive in a new country and you don't know anyone Just be careful not to add a whole new lineup of energy suckers into your new life Oh and Johnny about that gringo advantage. You're so right. Everybody wants to be your friend The people are so nice here. Sometimes you think it's fake that it's a put-on but it is It takes a while to figure that out though I have to say early on it was put off a little bit by the fact that everyone seemed almost too friendly I'd sit in front of my apartment building on the steps outside right from the sidewalk Smoking a cigarette and right off the bat strange things would happen I had an apartment in a mixed residential part of Guatemala City known as zone 4 and with a university close by there was lots Of foot traffic the area was called cuatro grado snorte in English. That means four degrees north

[07:15] Yeah, Johnny after four years. My Spanish is getting pretty good. By the way, I took German in high school What a mistake So I'd be sitting on the stoop smoking a cigarette and practically everyone who walked by would say buenos dias or buenos tardes to me and I'd respond in kind Often to the point sometimes I'd be saying good morning or good afternoon Every 30 seconds to people I'd never even met before Same thing happens when you're riding in an elevator when it stops to let a person in the new passenger will almost always say Buendia and when the door opens and they leave they say it again People are exceedingly nice and polite come to think of it elevator politeness never knew there was such a thing What a concept I can't recall experiencing elevator politeness twice in my life

[08:02] And I'm from Atlanta, Georgia where there's supposed to be a thing called Southern hospitality Sorry to say that's old school and fading fast Signed Pete expat insider seminar alumnus and soon to be repeat offender. See you at the February seminar, Johnny Glad you firmed up the dates PS if you need a driver at the seminar, I'm your man. All right Peter Thanks for that and as far as seminar bus drivers, you know generally at this seminars We do have previous seminar attendees driving the bus Sometimes we have two and often one of those drivers is kept in mango himself We'll see how it works out this time and let you know Pete. Thanks for the offer But you'll have to take a number you're on a waiting list got a couple other past seminar attendees who want to drive to Which brings to mind with the schnoz Jimmy Durante might have said

[08:50] Everybody's trying to get into the act For sure. I'm showing my age. Huh? Does anyone under 50 remember Jimmy Durante the schnoz? Anyway Peter you're so right one thing I personally loved about moving to Latin America in the early days, especially that was before the internet and emails So the only way to communicate with anyone up in the States was by snail mail, which took about a month Yeah, it did get through but it took about a month The only other way to connect with people up in the States was by landline phone And it didn't matter what Latin country you were in it would take three or four tries to get through and you get charged For a minute for every false try or disconnect So if you dialed in it cut out or dialed and connected for a second then cut out You'd still get charged a buck or two for that back then depending on which country in which service you use It was a buck or two a minute and in every Latin American city

[09:38] There'd be little hole in the wall places and when you walk in there'd be a little row of phone booths all Landline phones and boy were they busy of course most all Latin American families had a landline phone in their house But they were very careful not to use it for long-distance calls Just one phone called uncle Tulio and my jammy could wipe out the family budget and everyone in the house knew it So generally you wouldn't be making any friends by asking somebody You know to use his phone because you'd never know what the bills gonna be at the end of the month It would really be bad for him to leave a humble Latin American family with a shocker of a phone bill So why am I bringing this up? Well way back when in the 1980s and early 90s Gringos and expense living down here had landline phones, too That was all you had to communicate sure cell phones were just starting to come in

[10:24] But in those days you even paid for calls receive and they dropped out everywhere in buildings elevators under bridges underground parking lots and you'd pay hefty by-the-minute charges to remember those days back then here in Latin America cell phones were Kind of experimental and only upscale people and gringo wannabes You know people putting on the dog would buy the things and many times they'd never use them They just strapped to their belts and purses again. Just kind of putting on the dog In fact, I remember in the 90s and the early 2000s I'd see long lines of people waiting their turn at outdoor pay phones and everyone under 40 standing in that line had a cell phone Strapped to their purse or belt. They were all on pay-as-you-go cell phone plans and they were all out of money Like that old Texas saying all hat and no horse

[11:10] Meanwhile back at home la casa everyone had landlines So if your friends and family wanted to call you from up in the States They'd get through most of the time, but they'd be paying a buck or two a minute as well So guess what in the first couple of months I landed here. I'd get a letter How's it going calls from friends and family up in the States? That's how it went the first month or two until they got the phone bill and in the following months, man Did those calls from back home dwindle and when it did come they were mighty short and sweet now You might think that as kind of a drawback. But in the end, I thought this has an upside Kind of forced you into a different mode of communicating and thinking about your connections up north So all those time wasters and negative people in your life having a plan be down here will resolve that most

[11:57] satisfactorily and free of guilt to Even today with all the cheap and easy social media connections once you move down You'll still get bombarded with calls from your connections up north, but that'll fade fairly fast What I'm saying is the people you really want to remain connected with up in the States You'll have to put some extra effort into that to keep it going like a certain gringa expat once told me She says getting a plan being moving to Latin America is kind of like Graduation day from high school or college all those people you were so connected with standing there on graduation day They're gonna quickly fade out of your life as you start a new chapter in yours the next time you get to see him again Just might be at your 10-year class reunion, or maybe like me you won't even go to any of them

[12:42] Have you done yours though for me? There might be a reason to go to one just to see the Jackson student council members who were so clickish and full of themselves I'd like to know which ones peaked in high school and failed later as adults that happens a lot You know especially with people who will tell you that their high school or college years were the best years of their lives Well, they weren't for me. How about you? I never much liked high school or college nor grad school or post grad but in spite of that I did well mostly bolstered by the fact that was on the Chicago Street Department dead dog crew You heard me talk about that before on the show I thought you know college is much cleaner and much less disgusting and that stint on the dead dog crew though guys always started amusing The ladies weren't impressed Hmm, I wonder how many guys have occupation garbage man or sanitary engineer on their tinder profile

[13:30] So yes, I went to college It was the thing to do you know though I really could have screwed up if I had to listen to my high school counselor who told me not to go into engineering Because after the moon shot in 1969 and the end of the Vietnam War He told me NASA and the Defense Department were laying off tens of thousands of engineers So the future for engineering was bleak he said but I went anyway because of that scholarship But who knows how far I'd have risen had I majored in drama psychology or ethnic or gender studies just think by now I could have been head cashier at Starbucks as Marlon Brando once said I could have been a contender Now said about that and now an email from mr. G He says Johnny a buddy in Alaska asked me yesterday after listening to your podcast. I said him

[14:16] He said hey mr. G. That was you Johnny was talking about on his show when he asked you why? You hadn't applied for a Latin American residency One more thing mr. G's an expert living in Mexico lindo. By the way, mr. G says he listens to my podcast all the time But he says hate to tell you this Johnny, but my wife never listens to your podcast Even though she learns a shit ton when I insist she listens to relevant portions So then why doesn't she listen to you like I do well in her strict Christian parlance She considers you Johnny arrogant and self-directed Then he says welcome to the club bud. So am I So don't worry Johnny if you read this on your podcast She won't become inflamed or try to kill me at least I don't think so because she won't hear it

[15:02] Remember she hates you. All right me Johnny here. Just gonna throw in my two cents, you know, mr. G Seems it's the story of my life Some people just don't like me people are always trying to rip me a new orifice on the internet But you do know you're popular and hitting a nerve when people dish you all over the internet and even make up entire fake websites about you You know, that is a badge of honor in this business. Like x-pad Eddie said Johnny you're 15 minutes of fame is stretched into 15 hours Bottom line there are people out there who don't want me to talk about this stuff, but they can't cancel me Well, I shouldn't say that because people a hundred times a thousand times more in the limelight than me get canceled all the time Though that in its own way is a badge of distinction, too They haven't come for me yet, though But you listeners out there who are way above average and have brains you get what's going on here

[15:52] In fact, I get little notes and texts from listeners all the time saying Johnny Funny how people try to rip into you on the internet You really know how to stir up the woke stairs like this little note I got from listener Patrick a couple days ago. He said Johnny. I discovered my new pastime It's reading reviews of your podcast Wow Do the loons get bent out of shape with you just the fact that you're triggering snowflakes and wingnut lefties must mean you're doing it Right. I haven't laughed that hard in a while. Keep it up. That just came in from listener Patrick Yep, I get little notes and messages like that all the time I'm sure it's the fact that some people think I'm not spouting out their version of the truth as if the truth comes in different versions, you know like Baskin Robbins 57 flavors Wait a minute. That's Heinz ketchup, right? All right moving on. Who can we pick on now?

[16:42] How about this from the email stack from mr. B? He's hitting on a topic that we've spent some time on the last couple shows He says hi, Johnny Thank you for the recent coverage regarding people who are being frozen out of Mexican tourist visas due to changes in Mexican government visa policies For the portion of your listeners who are mired and indecision about whether to make such a move Whether Mexico or a move to Latin America due to a fearful husband or wife or afraid of a new life in new lands My own personal situation might enlighten them a bit enough. I hope to possibly get off the fence and take some action So here goes my wife and I actually came down here south of the border five years ago With the express purpose of gaining residency in Guatemala and finding a small coastal community

[17:29] I could ply my marine tradesmen skills in We'd lived on sailboats in the United States and I brought down a lot of boat gear with the idea We might find another boat to live on here as well We were one of those couples who can afford the monthly income Requirements for some of the Central American countries to get that permanent residency visa But didn't quite qualify for Mexico or Panama which have higher monthly income requirements be it pension social security or other Now whilst on our way as we drove south of the border My wife fell in love with the highland weather and culture of the Altiplano region of southern Mexico She refused to go any farther south so we never made it to Guatemala, but still we were in Latin America It was love at first sight. She was smitten and as they say if mama's not happy nobody's happy

[18:20] Remember that golden rule and you won't end up in the doghouse any more than the next guy So after seeing this particular part of the Altiplano in southern Mexico mama wasn't just happy She was extremely happy anyhow Johnny some of your fence-sitting listeners might just identify with the resulting conundrum The question is does one follow logic realize the place you are is not going to work out in the longer term and despite Reservations of abandoning love and companionship. Do you make that hard decision and do what needs to be done? Or does one muddle along mired an indecision and never move ahead due to fear of feeling lonely as the years tick by For folks still stuck in the rapidly devolving morass. That's the USS a these days

[19:06] I'm thinking if you're a sane and intelligent person the mental anguish must be taken its toll Then mr. Be as for those folks in that conundrum I'd offer one clued in gringo's counsel to flip a coin and take action if need be rather than waste any more Time sitting in the house as it tumbles down Sadly, I didn't take my own advice and in my case. It was years But now finally it's been solved by none other than the Mexican government throwing a monkey wrench in our usual pattern of visa Renewals every 180 days in border runs to Guatemala alas They're closing that option down so we're forced to make some kind of move in my particular situation it's easily solved by just moving back aboard a sailboat and forgetting about the formal residency process for me and my wife and

[19:53] After all that visa hubbub my wife's developed a not-so-secret wish to return to the US and go no further south into Central America Will that mama's not happy thing come into play again? We'll see so in the end it was a lot of wasted time and perhaps this cautionary tale might spur They were full fence sitters up north and in Mexico to some kind of action The truth is Johnny up to now Mexico has been a procrastinators paradise But those days are gone its decision time He's either back to the US or head south of south of the border and Johnny for folks wondering if it's safe down here I can wholeheartedly say I'd much rather live down here than in the US in Short the people are friendly the price is very affordable the food wonderful the government structure entirely manageable and not

[20:39] onerous Definitely worth getting off the fence for Even if it finally comes down to a coin toss rather than years spent agonizing and indecision in the end I hope our story might help other folks in the same boat time will tell the only problem is there ain't much of it and A big shout out and thanks for the ever developing Johnny Mueller underground expat railroad It's shaping up to be a very effective get out of Dodge Plan B for many of the right kind of people That's it Johnny. Mr. B signing off. No, it's famous Well, mr. B. Thanks for that I get Exactly where you're coming from and now in the same vein that vein being getting the hell out of Dodge and getting that plan Be going comes this email from Phil who says Johnny, please read this and you'll see why I have to get the hell out of Dodge

[21:30] Scraping the money together right now to come to your seminar. I can't wait. Okay, Phil will read your message It starts early here in the States during the lockdowns. I observed countless college kids You know 20 somethings who are all in with the lockdowns and the quarantine everything that goes in the plandemic He said for example Johnny some months back I drove to a craft beer joint which was also one of my favorite restaurants And there was a young 20 something at the door with a long dress gloves had a mask on and a face shield She had something wrapped on her head looked like a Taliban wife a millennial for sure You know a college hipster type with assorted rings and piercings in her face She was young still a little pimply around the forehead Oh and she had one of those sleeve tats on her arm, too

[22:16] I've often wondered what kind of parents would let their kids do that not a good look especially for the young ladies Anyway, I walked towards the door without a mask and this ultimate kind of hipster freewheeling college girl Suddenly becomes the compliance officer of the state co-vidiot Stasi She blocked the door said where's your mask and shoved a bottle of brown hand sanitizer towards me She says it's a special natural aromatic cocoa scented sanitizer. Try it. She said we're selling it here, too 1499 a bottle and I said 1499 huh? Hmm. So you're making a profit off the pandemic then right and go down to Costco and get hand sanitizer For five bucks a bottle though I never used the stuff and she scowled behind that face shield and said that comment was uncalled for sir and

[23:06] You sir should be home and not outside having fun in these times So she flipped from being a freewheeling 20-something tattooed hipster with a stud through her nose to being all in a stormtrooper for the religion of the pandemic The crazy thing is Jenny. I seem to run into young college aged Pandemic stormtroopers all the time same kind of thing happened to me just two weeks ago. I must confess once again I was out enjoying myself in these terrible times this time having a Thanksgiving get-together with my extended family the usual group of 25 or 30 people though two of my nieces 20-something college-age girls again were wearing masks around the house though They dropped them momentarily during those life-and-death social media conversations. They were having every three or four minutes So anyway speaking to one of my masked young nieces

[23:53] I said, why are you and all your college-age friends so bought in at this lockdown agenda? You know if you get Covid and we all will you know, the research says you'll have immunity forever You can ditch the mask forever too and we argued a little bit about that She had no data and I did I told her to watch the Joe Rogan. Dr. McCullough interview just came out It'll set the world on its ear But my point was how come you're all so bought into this and here's what she said And then I started to get it. She said for people my age. This pandemic is the very first real thing that's ever happened to us and That stopped me cold. I said Explain please and she said, you know, you live your life day by day like everyone else Then suddenly this comes the pandemic a force of nature the kind of drama She said none of us nobody my age. Anyway has ever seen before don't you see she said the crisis these mandates

[24:43] It's an epic event Then I started to get it She'll look back on this when she's old if she lives that long like our parents look back on World War two It was their generational epic event when everyone pulled her blinds at night for lights out in case the Jap zeros attacked Everybody saved rubber wired copper and gladly bought into food rationing It's what the 60s in Vietnam were to my generation So for them the Millennials and college students of today It gives them some sort of sense that their life meant something part of something huge that comes along once in a generation Like she said an epic world event So now we've got all these good little millennial lockdown compliance officers. The females are called Karen's, right? I don't know what they call the guys. It's almost religious a spiritual thing with some of them

[25:32] You've got the whole range. So what I'm thinking is we're not gonna get out of this these young adolescents and college-age students They found their niche. They're on a mission for them It was the perfect storm too because living addicted to social media does not produce happiness or fulfillment Ask any unwoke psychologist if you can find one sad to say but by the time a kid gets to college There's more than a 50% chance. He's been on some kind of psychiatrist Prescribed medication and just one more comment about all that's crashing and burning around us right now Just think of it over 20 months with this kovat stuff The lockdowns the quarantines the social distancing the craziness most all of our systems have failed us our healthcare system failed us Religions failed our schools failed our transportation systems failed our financial system and supply chains failed

[26:22] Restaurants small businesses put out of business our politicians failed They always do and really did make everything worse The truth is the last two things I can think of where the US government did anything Right was the winning of World War two and the moonshot in 1969 and even that according to Elon Musk and SpaceX Because government did it and not private industry. It costs more than ten times as much as it should have So with the pandemic every sector of life took a huge hit Except Bitcoin and the crypto currencies and not only did they survive but they hit all-time highs The problem is 50% or more of American people are sheep and they'll believe anything and Johnny I just can't live under those conditions anymore I'm in the final stages of my plan being should be out boots on the ground in Latin America sometime in the new year

[27:13] Signed Chet from Vermont Wow Chet good one. Hope to see you at the seminar Remember for all the info and sign up information for my February 2022 Exped Insider Seminar. It starts February 18th Just go to expatplanb.com and click on the seminar link You've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America If you need some help with your own plan B We can schedule a one-on-one phone or Skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week-long expat Insider seminar in Central America where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan B Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com Nos vamos