Episode Summary
In this episode of The Expat Files, Johnny Mueller shares a range of experiences and observations from his time living and traveling in Latin America. He begins by recounting a harrowing incident in Cartagena, where he witnessed a fatal motorcycle accident involving a delivery rider and a woman crossing the street. The incident highlights the dangers of road travel in the region and the public's strong reaction to such events. Johnny contrasts his own experiences with those of expats who often travel on the 'gringo tourist trail,' emphasizing the differences between tourist experiences and the realities of life in Latin America.
Next, he discusses the dangers of chicken buses, a common mode of transportation in the region. Johnny highlights the reckless behavior of drivers, including alcohol use and the use of expired or fake licenses, and recounts specific incidents where drivers fled the scene after accidents. He also shares a personal anecdote about a chicken bus accident that resulted in a fatality, which left a lasting impression on him and his group. The segment transitions to a discussion about hotel elevators in Latin America, where Johnny notes the presence of advanced AI systems that collect data on passengers, including weight and head count. He humorously points out that the elevators seem to miscount the number of people, particularly when there are American tourists, suggesting a possible racial bias in the system.
Johnny then addresses the complexities of modern technology and consumer habits in Latin America, highlighting the reliance on maintenance packages for elevators and medical equipment. He responds to an email from Lawrence, a listener from Madison, Wisconsin, who expresses his frustration with the increasing reliance on technology, such as apps for restaurant menus, touchscreens on appliances, and the need for subscriptions for online services. Lawrence also laments the unreliability of Bluetooth technology and the lack of privacy in the digital age. Johnny acknowledges Lawrence's concerns and offers his own solutions, such as using a private email service to avoid spam and data collection.
The conversation continues with Johnny and Lawrence discussing the challenges of modern life in Latin America, particularly focusing on the lack of 'lag time'—a term used to describe the slower, more analog pace of life before the digital age. Lawrence lists several reasons he misses the old ways, including the noise and lack of privacy in bars and clubs, the complexity of modern electronics, the prevalence of loud phone conversations, and the high cost of entertainment. Johnny responds by agreeing with some of Lawrence's points, especially regarding customer service and the overpriced nature of concerts and sporting events. He also comments on consumer behavior, noting that people complain about the cost of living but still spend excessively on unnecessary items.
In another segment, Johnny discusses the cultural dynamics and social interactions he experiences while living in Latin America. He humorously comments on the contrast between the behavior of locals and tourists, particularly regarding littering. He shares a story about a confrontation between a Spanish tourist and Colombian locals at a beachfront resort, highlighting the cultural stereotypes and the impact of littering on the environment. He emphasizes the importance of education and awareness in changing behaviors and mentions the concept of 'lag time' as a way to understand how people, including baby boomers, have learned to become more environmentally responsible over time.
The episode concludes with a call to action for listeners to contact The Expat Files via email for more information about upcoming events and resources. Johnny invites listeners to reach out to get on the waiting list for his next expat insider seminar in Central America, which promises to provide a significant advantage in planning for a potential move.
Episode Notes
Johnny Mueller dives into the realities of expat life in Latin America, sharing personal experiences, cultural insights, and reflections on technology and consumer behavior. He also invites listeners to join his upcoming expat seminar for strategic planning.
For more episodes, seminar information, resources, and the full archive, visit ExpatPlanB.com.
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Related guides: Healthcare in Latin America · Cost of Living in Latin America · Safety and Scams
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Topics
Expat life in Latin America, Road safety in Latin America, Cultural differences between tourists and locals, Personal experiences of expats, Witnessing a fatal accident, Chicken bus dangers, Driver behavior and legal issues, Personal anecdotes and experiences, Hotel elevator technology and data collection, Cultural observations and humor, Technology in Latin America, Consumer habits and digital convenience
Chapters
00:00:00 Opening 00:00:14 Welcome to The Expat Files 00:01:18 The Gringo Tourist Trail and Its Consequences 00:02:03 Witnessing a Fatal Accident 00:04:11 The Aftermath of the Accident 00:05:33 Don't Let Him Get Away 00:05:34 The Common Behavior of Motorcyclists 00:05:49 Chicken Bus Accidents and Driver Behavior 00:06:23 Alcohol and Illegal Driving 00:06:52 A Personal Encounter with a Chicken Bus Accident 00:08:04 Hotel Elevators and Data Collection 00:09:44 Elevator Sensors and Cultural Observations 00:11:00 Elevator Requirements in Latin America 00:11:29 Maintenance Packages for Elevators and Medical Equipment 00:12:04 Lawrence's Email: Frustrations with Modern Technology 00:13:16 Frustrations with Restaurant Apps and Digital Menus 00:14:22 Touchscreens on Appliances and Gadgets 00:15:11 Email Privacy and Subscription Models 00:16:38 Request for Lag Time 00:16:44 Reason Number Six 00:16:48 Dating Scene and Bars 00:16:54 Changes in Bars and Discos 00:16:58 Smoking and Music 00:17:03 Loud Music and Conversations 00:17:08 Need for Private Spaces 00:17:14 Lawrence's Perspective 00:22:19 The Digital Experience of Traveling 00:22:26 The Fulfillment of Technology 00:22:31 Lauren's Rule on Paying for Dinner 00:22:33 Johnny's Rule on Paying for Dinner 00:22:39 Johnny's Social Life 00:22:43 Johnny's Future Outlook 00:22:48 Johnny's Desire for Lag Time 00:22:52 Closing Remarks 00:27:42 Contact Information for The Expat Files 00:27:46 Waiting List for Expat Seminar 00:27:52 Benefits of Attending the Expat Seminar
Transcript
Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.
[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you ex-pad wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started all right, so I'm doing this show remotely today because I've been traveling way south of south of the border and Already after just a week's traveling the boots on the ground stories are really piling up Never a dull moment, you know
[00:46] Especially when you're off the gringo tourist trail and see how life really is here in Latin America and not the fake tourist town gringo life Where the locals look at us like we've got dollar signs tattooed on our foreheads You know what I'm talking about or maybe you don't have you been on the gringo tourist trail much where gringos go to escape the craziness Of the imploding first world that they themselves created through stupid laws and the terrible politicians They voted in and when those gringos retire most of them by the way retired from the public sector Wouldn't you know it? They want out only to land in Latin America and recreate the very same problems and conditions once they get down If I've seen it once I've seen it a hundred times. Anyway, as for me I'm definitely not one of those on the tourist trail guys. In fact, I never was
[01:32] That's not to say it isn't nice to visit the tourist trail hotspots for a week or so I mean look everyone likes a nice all-inclusive beachfront resort once in a while, right? But that does to get old quick too. So first off, let me ask you this Have you ever seen anyone get killed right in front of you? I'm not talking about in the movies nor avatars in video games nor am I talking to any of you guys and gals who had Been unfortunate enough to have served in one of the u.s. Is idiotic ever so fucked up overseas wars That's a different thing I'm talking about just going about your day-to-day activities and suddenly someone gets killed right in front of you Has that ever happened to you? Well, it happened to me a couple of days ago In fact in the 30 plus years have been down here I've actually seen three people get killed right in front of me every one of them road accidents and every one of them
[02:21] Involving a motorcycle somehow By the way, I've got sort of a sore throat coming on so bear with me So anyway, I'm talking about Cartagena, Colombia another really nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there That's a story for another day Anyway, I was driving down a fairly busy street in a rental car Just me alone and you know if you've ever been down here in a pretty busy Latin American city You see people cross the street anywhere. They feel like it And of course, most people will go to the corner and cross at the semaphore all that's being intersection with the street lights But every so often people will just dart right out in front of you. Yeah, I have to keep an eye out for that Especially be on the lookout for the occasional foolish mother who bolts out into the street with her kid in tow So anyway, I'm driving down this fairly busy two-way street. Just one lane of traffic on each side
[03:10] I must have been driving about 30 or 35 kilometers an hour That's about 20 miles an hour and immediately to my left is the left lane with oncoming traffic Fairly spares to in that moment. Anyway, most of the heavy traffic was in my lane going east so anyway to my left there's oncoming traffic and Farther to the left a sidewalk with people walking back and forth and I see about a half block up ahead There are 220 something standing there a guy and a girl perched on a curb Waiting to bolt across the road and in a few seconds time when I finally get up too close to even with them They bolt right out the girl first. She was kind of heavy probably 200 pounds She sprinted right in front of my car The guy stopped in the middle of the road and when she passed my car, she was close enough to touch my hood
[03:56] I almost hit her but didn't when she passed my car and was free and clearer So I thought boom I see her flying through the air a big girl, too And I heard a crunch at the same time I had the brakes and I saw something slide out in front of me Directly to my right and I saw a mangled pile of metal plastic and boxes and a guy's body on the ground I'll twist it up like Gumby turns out on my far right You know that little space between your car and the sidewalk That's a place motorcyclists love to weave in and out of So a motorcycle delivery guy was whipping past at the same time completely blind to the lady So when she got past the right corner of my car my headlight the idiot Motorcyclists probably going 40 or 50 kilometers an hour just mowed her down at full force hit her and killed her and the idiot
[04:45] Motorcycle guy they took him to the hospital too. He was all twisted up mangled The way his head was cock look like he broke his neck And of course all traffic stopped and the gapers got out to see what was going on by the time I was able to stop I was about a block ahead of him already I pulled over saw the chaos saw the mess and the guy who was with that lady her friend or walking partner Whatever he didn't get hit But he was in shock seeing her get killed right in front of him by the way the cops and a rescue squad got there within 10 minutes because they were only two or three blocks from a Hospital now in that pedestrian gapers crowd I heard a lot of people say that motorcyclist if he survives should go to jail for life There were plenty of witnesses that saw was his fault When one lady said when crowded around that motorcycle guy on the ground
[05:30] She said keep an eye on him if he gets up Don't let him get away Because that's what ninety nine point nine percent of motorcyclists do when they get an accident if the bike still runs They jump on it and get the hell out of there if it doesn't and the driver can still walk or run He leaves the scene too. In fact in my 30 years down here I've seen two major chicken bus accidents where both times the driver jumped out and ran away Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Just to clarify this a bit believe me. I've seen many more than just two chicken bus accidents I pulled up on many scenes where there had been an accident just minutes before but there were two specific Chicken bus accidents where I was one of the eyewitnesses both times the driver escaped from the scene So then why would they do that? Well, first off they break every traffic rule in the book
[06:17] They run red lights and stop signs and they pass on curves I've spoken to the police about Chicken bus drivers who drive like shit and they tell me at least half of them are alcoholics And there's another 50% the cops say who are driving on expired or fake licenses So next time you think it's a fun and quaint thing to ride on a chicken bus get that photo op Especially when you're way on the boonies when they're absolutely filled to the brim with indigenous people in all their colorful clothes Just know that you're taking a chance It's a 50-50 shot the guys even got a valid license on top of that It's a 50-50 shot. The guys had a few shots before his shift, which reminds me. I'll never forget the time I think it was my fourth seminar about ten years ago Now our little group was driving around in our nice late model air-conditioned bus
[07:05] Just a bit outside Guatemala City. We were on a boots on the ground mission checking out the boonies We were about to go into a sharp blind curve So we slowed down when we got through the turn we had to stop We were stuck in a gapers block and as we slowly slipped on by we noticed the chicken bus was flipped on its side In a gutter on the side of the road how did it get there? You didn't have to be a genius to figure out that the idiot dickhead driver Either took the turn at too high a speed and lost control or tried to pass someone on that curve And there was oncoming traffic, but I'll tell you it was a real eye-opening moment for all people at seminar They certainly learned something that day. Anyway, that same day. I saw that lady get killed I booked a room in a brand new high-rise hotel, you know in the newer hotels elevators actually talked to you
[07:51] They've got some kind of AI system in them that can actually sense certain things about the passengers So whether you like it or not Even hotel elevators are collecting data on you the latest and greatest ones are anyway What a revolt in development, huh, by the way here in Latin America the more you pay for a hotel That is the higher-end hotel you choose to stay at and the more well-known the name of the hotel is the more gringos and expat You'll see that's why of course all the gringo tourist spots have Hilton's and Hyatt's and intercontinental's Marriott's princess hotels Clarion Suites all the familiar first world names gringo is on vacation like them because they're known commodities Anyway, just the other day. I was in a new high-rise hotel got into the elevator with about four other people I never met him before but I knew they were all gringos
[08:37] You can spot them anywhere in the world in a second. At least I can't. Anyway, we get into the elevator I'm going to the sixth floor. They're going to I don't know the 10th floor Whatever and being that it's a brand new building. I think it's only open for three months The elevator is state-of-the-art AI with touchscreen and a synthetic lady's voice meeting and greeting you and telling you which floor you're passing You know all that glad you're here. Happy to have you. Enjoy your stay bullshit So sincere coming from a bloodless robot, huh? Anyway, I noticed that elevators touchscreen was continuously reading out streams of data Including the speed of the elevator inside and outside temperature the time elapsed from the floor You got in to the floor of your destination. I'm not kidding on top of that It listed the elevators maximum capacity of a thousand kilograms and twelve people
[09:26] Here's the thing that made me laugh though. It shouldn't have surprised me every time someone got in or out It did the adding and subtracting of people and weight Now as for me I've been in and out of that elevator a lot because I stayed there for a couple of days and Although the sensors always got that gross weight, right? Unless there were only one or two people in the elevator. It always seemed to get the head count wrong For example one day there were five people in the elevator. The weight showed 650 kilograms and the sensors counted eight people When there are only five of us in there, but we were five gringos five Americans So here's the funny part the elevators sensors seem to think that five Americans equaled eight Latin Americans I could only think of the moment that a woke stir might interpret that as the elevator being racist
[10:13] Well, I'll leave it to you guys to sort that one out By the way, oddly enough I've been in newer buildings with elevators here in Latin America where the door closes a buzzer goes off the door opens again And you haven't moved anywhere. In other words elevators overloaded and shut down that never happened to you up in the States It's happened to me a bunch of times down here Now speaking of elevators here in Latin America, I've had a number of gringas not gringos gringas, you know American ladies Express their fear of elevators because of the occasional power outage here in Latin America You know, that's a common theme and a lot of horror and zombie apocalypse movies, right? Just think about it What if you were in an elevator on your way to the sixth floor? Let's say and the power went out the lights the air circulation fan everything. It'd be panic button time, right?
[11:00] Well, not to worry all Latin American countries have laws now that you can't install an elevator You can't get a building permit to even put one in unless you've got an on-site standalone automatic start diesel generator In fact, all the elevator companies offer generator packages. So that's good news Though some of you just might be thinking that since you know The word maintenance doesn't appear in the Spanish language What good is a generator or even elevator if it's not maintained? Well down here in Latin America, they've got that covered too when you buy an elevator You're forced to buy the maintenance package the first world service contract all commercial elevators come from first world enterprises There are no third world elevator companies Though it's pretty much the same question that comes up when you're talking about first world style hospitals here in Latin America, too
[11:47] It turns out all of the big ticket medical technology items in hospitals can't scanners tomography machines, etc Our soul with maintenance packages. You can't buy them any other way That's why we can get away with labeling most private hospitals as first world quality all the way You know that previous talking elevator story reminds me of a funny email I got the other day You got to hear this this guy's points are spot-on although he sounds like a bit of a complainer I wouldn't mind hanging with this guy while he sounds like a hoot a real character a smart guy character He says hey Johnny Lawrence here With some what the comments. When's your next seminar sign me up? He says I'm slowly going out of my mind here in Madison, Wisconsin
[12:34] I need a big dose of that so-called lag time. You're always talking about in other words I need my life to unravel to go in reverse It seems like my life and everyone else's life here in the United States is tied up in knots And we need someone to unknot us I'm sick and tired of the trends here that are taking us over a bit by bit like a Chinese water torture He says things that would have been considered completely abnormal just a few years ago are now perfectly normal and okay, but they ain't The things that are supposed to make things easier are doing nothing but complicating us need some examples. I Got a million of them Do you want to know what I'm sick of and why I want to get the hell out of Dodge so bad number one Having to download an entire app to use a restaurant menu
[13:22] What? I'm just so tired of restaurants telling me there is no menu. They tell me oh just scan the quote. I say sorry I prefer to hold that dirty German festered dog-eared menu in my grubby little hands. Thank you very much Alright me Johnny here. Just chiming in for a second You know here in Latin America only the very very high-end Latin American restaurants will pull that stunt Tell you there's no menu scan the code Yep, Lawrence. I'm with you on that one. I prefer a grubby gravy stained menu myself any day and once just once all the time I've been here in Latin America when some Restaurant says scan the code have they not given me a menu when I requested it the other time When they'd really gone completely digital and had no menus anymore
[14:07] The waiter actually lent me his phone because I told him I wasn't gonna put it on mine Because you know every time you do scan one of those things or a scan anything for that matter. They're collecting data on you All right, then Lauren says Johnny another reason I want some of that lag time you're talking about I'm so sick of seeing appliances and gadgets with automatic touch screens on them lawn mowers refrigerators Garbage disposals trash compactors all have touch screens on them now Even one of the old neighborhood ladies a cat lady has a smart automatic litter box with a touchscreen on it Even nuttier my black-and-decker drill has a touchscreen on it and here I just wanted to drill a hole and hang a picture and that touchscreen has better resolution than the picture. I'm hanging yep
[14:53] I need some of that lag time Johnny He says especially when I see that every company you buy something from they won't give me crap unless I subscribe Nope, I say you don't need my phone number and email Just let me buy my shoes and get the hell out of your store And I just hate having to create a username and password to join just about anything online Alright Lawrence. Let me chime in on that one That's why I subscribe to the email service start mail cost me 60 bucks a year, but it lets me create unlimited amounts of Aliases in other words I can create an instant email on the fly So whenever some idiot store business or online entity asked me for an email. I'll just create one right there They'll send you some kind of code so they can verify it's a real email at that new address And right after that's been done, and you get whatever you're looking for out of them. You just delete that email forever
[15:45] So then just let them pass around and sell your email to anyone they want cuz guess what it doesn't exist anymore Therefore no spam no ads no junk mail But the company or entity who asked for your email they don't know it doesn't exist anymore you get it so come Then again it costs you 60 bucks a year to have that service But it's just so convenient and to me worth ten times that all right Lawrence says reason number four I really need some of that lag time you're talking about Johnny I'm so sick of having to deal with Bluetooth having to connect everything to it. It's so damn unreliable Look you've got the Bluetooth in your bedroom interfering with the Bluetooth in your kitchen Which interferes with the Bluetooth in your living room that in turn interferes with the Bluetooth in your car and your phone
[16:32] I don't get it Johnny this Bluetooth thing's been around what 20 years now, and they still can't get it straight Just give me some of that good old Latin American pre Bluetooth lag time, please Alright, then he says here's reason number six why I really need some of that lag time He says I'm a recently divorced guy back into the dating scene. I've been out of the bars in disco so long I haven't realized how much they've changed for the worse He says Johnny. Why is it that now that you can't smoke anywhere like in bars and discos? They compensate by cranking up the music so loud you can't even chat up anyone anymore You have to go outside or in a bathroom to have a decent conversation with somebody Alright Lawrence just my two cents on that subject chiming in I have to say that here in Latin America
[17:20] It's the same or if not worse They don't allow smoking in the bars and clubs here either and the music's so loud you can barely order drinks Here too you can forget about trying to have a normal conversation with anybody Even if you speak Spanish like a local that goes for taking ubers and cab rides, too I can't tell you how many times I've told a cab driver turn down that music All right, then Lawrence gives reason seven why he's just begging for some lag time that we're always talking about He says Johnny the electronics and cars are so complicated I've had my own car four years now, and I'm still finding out new shit It does or reports back to me. What the? In fact, he says just the other day I was cleaning around some of the push buttons near the air conditioning controls and a little flat pop down
[18:07] Revealing one of those micro SD data cards. He says Johnny what though? These guys are recording shit Isn't that technically illegal and here it took me four years to discover this thing What I need Johnny is a cure some of that good old-fashioned lag time. You're always talking about Speaking of switches knobs and touch screens Whatever happened to good old on and off switches that actually clicked and make a solid noise now We have obscure quoted hieroglyphic drawings on touch screens and they call that intuitive They're anything but and why do all those touch screens and everything on the internet have to be abbreviated. Everything's coded and shortened I've got no clue to half of the abbreviations use out there and it's getting worse every day. What the
[18:53] Please just give me some of that old-fashioned lag time. You're always talking about Johnny Number eight Lauren says I can't stand the fact that even high-end expensive furniture uses cheap particle board and crap joinery He says what the fuck IKEA. Are you evil? You've dropped the furniture standards of the world to the point that young people Actually believe there are such things as particle board trees Number nine, he says give me some lag time Johnny because I'm sick of people talking Extremely loud into their cell phones in places like bathrooms and elevators playing their shit rap music on phones at the next table In buses in metros in restaurants and poolside even at resorts. What the fuck is wrong with the under 30 crowd?
[19:40] They all deaf just give me some of that good old-fashioned lag time. You're always talking about Johnny All right, then there's number nine. He says Johnny. Give me some of that lag time I want to talk to a human customer service operator for just once I'm so sick of robot voices telling me they value me as a customer So please stay on the line for 45 minutes and then we'll disconnect you All right me Johnny chiming in again You know Lawrence you're in luck on that one lag time effect is in full force when it comes to customer service in Latin America Though it won't do you any good. You will actually get to talk with a real-life person Unfortunately, they're usually worse than useless and they'll put you on hold for 45 minutes to and then cut you off But at least you will have a human to get pissed off at
[20:27] All right, then Lawrence gives us his reason number 10 He says Johnny I hope that lag time effect in Latin America makes it possible to go to concerts and pro sports events that don't cost a month's wages Because he says here you can't get a ticket for anything even in the bleacher seats for under a couple of hundred bucks All right, Lawrence. Here's my two cents on that issue Yep, you know a lot of big-time entertainers come down here to Latin America They make it part of the leg of their world tour And I've noticed they usually half or less the price of what you'd pay up in the first world to see him So that like time thing has some bearing on those ticket prices But I've also observed something that's universal with human nature With you up in the States and down here in Latin America, too Fools gripe about the price of gas and groceries and then spend hundreds on concerts sporting events tattoos
[21:18] hair and nail work piercings the latest greatest iPhone and Extremely overpriced clothes just because they've got the logo flavor of the week They complain about the high cost of living yet They spent good money on most of that and other stuff that will end up as junk in a few years and won't even sell for pennies on the dollar in a rummage sale The thing is I don't see people cutting back on booze cigarettes and junk food Yet they continuously gripe about the price of gas rent and groceries. How about cooking and eating at home once in a while, huh? Oh, and by the way, speaking of overpriced concerts and sporting events What the is it with hundreds of idiots filming everything with their phones when they're at those concerts and events You've seen it you go to an event or a concert and there are hundreds of people hoisting up their phones
[22:08] To film the entire concert or whatever. I want to hack off their arms What a bunch of idiots. They're capturing the event at the lowest possible fidelity and resolution Postage stamp sized and then they're gonna send that grand experience around to their friends so they can relive it on their two-inch screens Through their half-inch tin can phone speaker. How fulfilling, huh? And then Lauren says Johnny I have a rule when I go out to dinner with my friends the first person to look at their phone pays the bill as You've probably surmised. I don't have many friends He says Johnny isn't the future turning out to be wonderful. He says sign me up for your next seminar I need a huge serving of that lag time effect All right, Lawrence. Thanks for that. I guess you've said it all
[22:56] See you at the next seminar. We'll be in the spring of 2023 I'll keep you posted. All right. How about another boots on the ground story happened to be just two days ago Now talking about Cartagena, Colombia It's not really on the gringo tourist trail at all If you could say it's on the European tourist trail because you could walk around all day and not see any gringles But you see lots of Europeans Could be because they've got lots of direct flights from Europe but not from the US Anyway, if you're just vacationing It's a pretty long flight from the states and twice as expensive as let's say a short vacation John to a place like Cancun or Costa Rica Anyway, just about two days ago. I found myself at one of those famous beachfront resorts again. It wasn't on my own accord It was because of some Latinas gigantic birthday that was being celebrated for the entire week
[23:43] I was obliged to attend or forever suffer her wrath You've heard me mention how crazy Latinos and Latinas are about their birthdays Especially the ladies and sometimes if you're a gringo like me who spends most all of his time off the gringo tourist trail Almost all your friends and girlfriends and such are Spanish speaking Latinos and Latinos and you get sucked into that birthday whirlwind So anyway, the setup is there's this little bar and restaurant right on the beach part of a hotel complex and almost all the people staying at that hotel are upscale Latinos from the area and Latinos that are flown in from other Latin American countries and Europeans almost zero gringles. I'm like the only one again I love that It really is a strange feeling sometimes a good feeling being the only gringo
[24:29] But you better know some Spanish or you'll miss out on a lot of the action a lot of what's going on We'll go right over your head. So here's what happened. There's a table of four thirty something local Colombian guys Each table holds about six. It's got a big beach umbrella Stick it out of the center of it because you know, the Sun is intense then there was the beach umbrella table I was sitting at with a few Latino friends and another table about six feet away hosting for Spanish guys guys from Spain. They've got to look they're easy to spot. Most of them are very light-skinned They look like gringos But often with very dark hair like the Antonio bandettis look and of course when they speak you can pick them off in a second They all speak with a sort of a hair lip kind of lisp. It's part of the mother country accent
[25:16] Oh, no, I just said a forbidden word hair lip What you can't say that Johnny you'll offend someone Well, I just did So anyway, we're all sitting out there around 2 in the afternoon people are in and out of the pool Drinking hanging out doing Sun and fun and pool and beachfront kind of vacation stuff And suddenly one of the four Colombian guys Picks up a bunch of empty plastic glasses on the table and tosses them over a short retaining wall onto the vacant lot Property next door now you longtime listeners have heard me mention how latinas treat their garbage here What you'll find is that in any middle and lower middle-class neighborhood? there are piles of garbage on street corners and in empty lots and sometimes in people's front yards and
[26:02] When it rains you see plastic bags and cups floating down the gutters in the cities everywhere Most Latinos are just terrible litterbugs however You see almost none of that when you're driving through a high-end Latino neighborhood or in a high-end shopping mall or business district Because educated people litter less. It's just a known fact. Anyway, here's what happened next One of the Spanish guys got up now, you know, Spain's the first world country. They've got tough laws Against littering just like up in the states of Canada and all first world countries Anyway, he walks over to the guy and he says, you know, that's a 500 euro fine where I come from in Spain But that's not even the point He says I'm just sick of how you guys ruin your own beautiful environment. Yes shit in your own sandbox Then he said, what do you think that tourists come here for your beautiful environment? You don't even know what you have
[26:48] We all heard that and thought good for him And so he went back to his table leaving those embarrassed Colombian guys who didn't say a word red-faced and believe me What happened there was one of the biggest insults I'm sure they've ever had in their lives because they really look up to Spanish people They're stereotyped as high-class more intelligent and even stuck up In fact Latin Americans lie all the time about this percentage of Spanish blood they have running through their veins They all secretly and not so secretly would love to be pure blood Spanish So in the end, I bet those four Colombian guys will never toss trash willy-nilly again Then again, it's all about the lag time Back in the day baby boomers and generations before them are all pretty horrible litter bugs too, but they learned So you've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America
[27:37] If you need some help with your own plan B We can schedule a one-on-one phone or Skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail dot com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week long expat insider seminar in Central America Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan B Send me an email the expat files at gmail dot com. No spamos