#1198 – The Expat Files: Life in Latin America, Generational Labels, and Real-World Skills

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you ex-pad wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started All right, let's start out with a very interesting email today. This one's from Callum and Julia in Panama City, Panama Pay attention lots of good stuff here. He says Johnny I'm so glad and relieved that the wife and I got out of dodge so we can live the rest of our old lives in peace and

[00:48] sanity Callum and Julia from Panama City here. We're longtime listeners and first-time complainers I'm 62 just started collecting Social Security and the wife's 58 but in Panama since just before kovat Admittedly things were kovat nuts here, too Just like in the states may be worse But it's back to zero enforcement and normal manana time as usual what a relief That means the place is cleaner to no more masks floating in the gutters after every rain Only the usual plastic bottles straws and wrappers You're right Johnny Latinos are little piggies They'll never learn Anyhow, I hear and read all the backlash from woke people up north about the terrible boomers And how we my wife and I are boomers to have ruined and poisoned the world for them and our kids and grandkids

[01:40] With white boomers like us being the worst obviously and now I'm reading that up north white men Who don't bow to woke management are no longer welcome anywhere in corporate America Johnny My grandkids are just starting middle school. What am I supposed to tell them funny thing though Johnny? And I think you mentioned this before I live in Panama now in the term boomer or millennial In fact, none of those generational labels mean anything to Latinos here Though I can't say for sure that doesn't happen to Latino rich kids here who graduate from helicopter or bubble schools in universities I imagine in those expensive bilingual schools the kids all speak English and I'm sure they're all addicted to those brain viruses Instagram and tick-tock too. I understand wealthy Latino kids are on social media in English

[02:27] So I'm certain they have the brain virus, too Alright Callum, let me cut in just for a second with my two cents Here's something interesting. Did you know that fake book dick cock and Instagram all those anti social media sites that are in Spanish here in Latin America Have completely different content than their English counterparts You must understand less than 1% of Latin Americans follow that stuff in English That would be as column said the children of the rich who go to those expensive bilingual helicopter schools So then you might ask what's the difference if any whether those anti social media platforms are in English or in Spanish Well, you might be surprised to know since Latinos here in Latin America are putting out all that content in Spanish There is only a tiny percentage of wokeness on those platforms

[03:14] Meanwhile up in the states those platforms in English are simply infected like the plague with woke ism So there is a big difference though Latinos especially adolescent Latinos are addicted to the media Just like kids up in the states and that's not a good thing They have not not yet. Anyway been infected with the woke virus So I guess you could say they're lobotomizing themselves only half as fast Case in point as Callum points out his email They don't even know what the terms boomer or millennial or any of the generational labels mean So if you were to explain in Spanish, of course to a Latin American kid or young adult down here that the boomers up in The states are under attack by the wokesters Unless you were talking to an entitled the rich kid, you know, that's less than 1% of the population

[04:02] They wouldn't know what the hell you were talking about. Good to know don't you think? Alright back to the email column says I have two kids in their late 30s back in the states Oh, by the way, think me and the wife are a little nuts for moving south of the border Our two kids have careers and decent jobs in business in the sciences though They're feeling the pinch of the kind of inflation. They never experienced before in their lives though Thankfully, they never went the easy liberal arts career route as some of their friends did who are really suffering now They've got friends with degrees in journalism psychology sociology, etc Even a lesbian friend who took gender studies and they're certainly paying the price financially now But even though my two kids have steady jobs They've got no nest egg and they've got young kids now to my two grandkids and I really fear for their future

[04:53] I personally recommend against having kids unless you move to Latin America and bring them up there Never would have imagined myself saying that a couple of years ago Meanwhile, you've got people out there like Elon Musk telling people to have more kids easy for him to say with his toe Let's see how his turnout He says I wouldn't place any bet that they don't turn out to be heavily pierced and tattooed like his weird exes Remember the girl with only one name called Grimes who is having her ears surgically altered to look like an elf or Yoda Great role models kids have today, huh? If even guys like Elon Musk have no idea certainly the rest of us must be lost then he says I for one was certainly never prepared to have to tell my white grandsons that the world hates them and

[05:40] That they must be prepared when they get called out by woke kids be prepared for the backlash Be prepared to get stomped on battered down and spin on how can you tell a 10 year old? He must be on guard the rest of his life and that his trajectory in life should be as an entrepreneur Not an employee because if he ends up working for the man, especially at a big corporation He will be marginalized indoctrinated lobotomized and feminized And if he doesn't play ball, he'll get a pink slip not to mention the abuse. He'll surely take on social media Though I fear even the self-employed the entrepreneurs will run into issues with their woke clientele and the government trying to enforce diversity and their twisted version of employee equity So I'm thinking Johnny with the wokesters in charge of the first world now

[06:29] Are there enough of them to even competently run the world and keep it chugging along doesn't look that way Will there be any smart people left who don't want to be tick-tock influencers or gold-tooth rappers? Wait a minute. Wait a minute me Johnny here button in again Speaking of rappers Do you know why they call them rappers? Well expat Eddie says contrary to popular belief. It's because they all have rap sheets And I'm sure that's easy to prove. Oh, by the way, here's a story for you and it's totally on PC. Of course Being that in a past life. I was a big great musician Played in a lot of groups and did a lot of tours and stuff though I'm not playing in a group now and I don't tour anymore I still have some context fairly high up in the music biz

[07:17] So not so long ago. I was talking to one of my buddies who's a music producer in California Where else and he told me something very interesting He said Johnny, you know, a lot of very famous groups do tours through Latin America. I said, yeah, I've seen it quite a few He said a lot of has been former superstars come down to I said, yeah, that's right. That's a big money maker for him Yep, popular English music sells big down here. It's that gringo advantage thing Latino seem to like even love everything that comes from the first world the good the bad and the ugly Anyway, I confirmed the fact that lots of has-been groups come through You know groups that had a big hit or two back in the 60s 70s even 80s And when they peter out up in the States, they find a second wind a second audience in a way It's funny and hard to believe even though they're way past their prime and they can't even get a lounge gig at the Holiday Inn in

[08:07] Vegas somehow they can sell out big venues down here Because you know, there are lots of gringo oldie stations down here And if they're in the rotation even smelty and the saccharine so-called artists like Michael Bolton and Kenny G Can do a tour down here and rake in the dough. Yeah, isn't it funny? I just noticed that Kenny G is touring Latin America. Can you believe it? Hmm. Now there's a guy who's about his hip is a white guy with an afro Just when you thought he'd pawned his clarinet and went into the dumpster diving business But nope, he's on tour down here and people are buying tickets Mostly the over 40 Latino crowd, of course who speak a little English and listen to those classic US oldie stations Anyway, my buddy the music promoter up in the States said do you ever notice almost none of the famous US rappers ever tour Latin America?

[08:55] Even though Latin America is a huge market for them. They got tons of sales down there. They just don't come down I said, you know, you're right. I never see black American rappers touring down here Everything but all the has-been white boy bands come down but no black rappers He said you want to know why he said because more than three-quarters of have a felony charge or two or three Now they can get passports. All right after their probation times up and they can travel But there's a whole list of countries that won't give you a visa or let you in if you've got a previous felony charge Which really puts the brakes on a world tour? And remember rappers have big entourage is that travel with and most of those guys come from the ghetto and have felony charges, too Get the picture though. They do make nice role models for your kids. Don't they by the way same thing goes for those

[09:45] Raggaeton guys reggaeton arrows Except this time it works in reverse 90% of those guys are from Latin America and a big percentage of them have felony charges In their countries, too Meaning they're restricted from having travel visas in many countries outside of Latin America The fact is most all first world countries won't let a person have a visa if he's got a felony in his home country That's why even the most famous multi-millionaire platinum selling raggaeton arrows here in Latin America Don't tour the states Canada or Europe many if not most of them have been in trouble with the lawn Cannot qualify for a visa now you boomers might remember that happened with John Lennon He had a marijuana conviction in England and they wouldn't let him into the states Of course, he lawyered up heavily But it took him a couple years to resolve that case it cost of millions He found a loophole and ended up living at the Dakota in Central Park and remember how that turned out

[10:35] But I digress as usual now. Where were we? Oh, yeah columns email He says Johnny will there be any smart people left in the first world who don't want to be tick-tock influencers or gold tooth wrappers Will anyone but pasty super nerds who can't dribble a basketball have the motivation to go into the sciences Will there be meaningful technical progress going forward to keep the world from rusting out and ossifying? Or are we truly going down the toilet and headed in reverse back to the dark ages? He says how many green and purple haired gender studies majors does the world need? Schools are graduating them by the tens if not hundreds of thousands. I'm afraid the toilets too clogged up to flush Then he says yes every influencer with more than a hundred followers blames us boomers for everything

[11:26] But since life has been so easy for those exers and Millennials, etc They never consider what will happen to them as the world unravels The question to ask is who would you rather be stuck on an isolated island with a woke millennial with a soft brain and soft hands with a socially acceptable resume or an old boomer who built his own hot rod from spare parts a Guy who can fire up a dead generator who knows how to fish hunt and swim a guy that can fix a broken chainsaw Those times are coming up rapidly when those real-world skills will be definitely needed and the only people that harbor those skills are the boomers Alright me Johnny jumping in again. Here's a fun disturbing fact Did you know that only 10% of the people born after 1990 know how to swim or swim well enough to be able to save themselves?

[12:19] while 70% of boomers you can swim that's a revolt and development, huh? Alright, then column goes out to say Johnny our kids and grandkids could say what they like about us boomers But when we die out, we take our callous tans common sense and technical skills with us And the wokesters will get their payback. They'll get the world they deserve Then he signs off by saying keep up the great shows Johnny Callum and Julia in Panama City He tags on a PS. It says PS Panama is not the laid-back paradise It once was Johnny too many gringos now trying to terraform it into south of the border Miami It's getting to be quite an irritant, but me and the wife are too old to make another move But if we did it would be to a place like Guatemala or Salvador

[13:05] Any move is rough and stressful but multiply it by 10 if it's a move out of the states We can vouch for that. We don't regret it though best thing we ever did But if we were younger and had to do it again, we'd move to the Altiplano We've done a few road trips through Nicaragua El Salvador and Guatemala. You're right Johnny, the Altiplano is the greatest don't have one here in Panama It's hot hot hot sweat through your shirt. Keep a bar deodorant and a case of beer around hot But you do get used to it. I did fairly quickly. Anyway, the wife not so much She's not a beer drinker. She drinks wine and that's not refreshing when it's hot I know this is an extra-long PS, but I had other thoughts while writing it one last thing Johnny We thank our lucky stars. We didn't pick Costa Rica. It was a flip of the coin and Panama won. I

[13:53] Say that because we're meeting disgruntled expats all the time who moved here to Panama from Costa Rica Many are throwing in the towel on that fatally overhyped paradise, you know Panama has a border with Costa Rica So we run into gringos all the time who tell us about how they're continuously gouged by Costa Ricans and gringos Thank God. We dodged that bullet All right Thanks for that calum. I don't have much to add except to say to all you listeners out there If you haven't got that plan be started by now man, you're going down with the ship. Sorry to say Anyway, let's talk about the disgusting topic of sweat You since column brought up the fact that in Panama and well in lots of Latin American countries It's hot hot hot for some that could mean a perpetual layer of sweat

[14:40] In fact, I know quite a few gringos and expats who don't live in the Altiplano now People living in the lowlands and coastal regions beach lovers and such who changed their clothes and take showers two and three times a day Question is are you the sweating kind? How much do you sweat? Of course, you know, it runs the gamut Some people hardly sweat at all and others as soon as the temperature hits about 80 degrees They're just dripping wet some people you feel sorry for them They sweat so much then there's the fact that some people can sweat and get ripe in a hurry and some people don't get Ripe at all. Now again, if you're in the Altiplano, you don't have to worry about that much at all So then why am I bringing this up? Well, it's because of something I've noticed after being down here a long long time You start sweating less over the years. Your body becomes accustomed to the heat though Never as unfazed as the locals it can get extreme too

[15:29] For example Latinos and Latinas being that this is their native land oftentimes You'll be sitting with one of them at a table at restaurant Whatever you and the rest of the gringos hanging out with you will be sweating up a storm and Latinos are as cool as Cucumbers wearing many more layers of clothing than you are Even crazier, I can't think of a single instance where I've seen any Latino or Latina with those ever so embarrassing Armpit rings that you see once in a while with gringos and expats. It's one of life's strange mysteries I guess now as far as the deodorant thing if you're in a warm climate Of course, you're gonna sweat a little more than usual and you're probably use a lot more deodorant whether you need it or not Airing on the excessive side just in case now You heard me say in a previous show that Latinos and Latinas use lots and lots of cologne

[16:14] Probably double or triple what the girls and guys do up north because well since probably 95% of the land in Latin America is in the lowlands not in the altipline That means it's hot people with sweat more, but if you have air conditioning, no problem However at low altitudes and on the coast where people really need air conditioning Well people with money have it but still let's say about 70% of the population being that their middle and lower middle class and poor They just don't use air conditioners They use fans and if they have an air conditioner They only use it only when absolutely necessary because electricity has always been very expensive Another thing I have noticed and you will to Latinos almost never throw anything away unless it's absolutely impossible to repair Which is a good thing to a point, but it has its downsides For example lots of times you'll see especially in older homes very old air conditioners man

[17:05] Those old AC units are terribly inefficient. Oh, they cool. All right, but they're super energy Hawks In fact an air conditioner that was produced. Let's say 25 years ago uses three times the energy as the brand new ones So for example, if you have an old air conditioner unit in a bedroom And of course there's the additional problem that there's no weather stripping around the windows or the doors or no double-pane windows Anything like that So if you're in an older home with an air conditioner in the bedroom and it runs all night That could add 75 bucks a month to your electric bill and you'd probably want to do that if you live down the coast You'd have to run it every night or be miserable thing is if you bought a brand new AC split unit It would cost maybe four or five hundred bucks If you ran that unit all night the electricity would probably only cost you 25 bucks a month It would be absolutely worthwhile to replace the old unit right away

[17:52] It would only take about a year or so to get the payback, but Latinos don't have that mindset No one does the calculation you just wait for things to get so old and broken down They can't be repaired anymore. Instead of doing the simple math. The fact is 99.999% of Latinos wouldn't even know where to start That's why Latin America is just filled with these horrible old energy sucking air conditioning units If you've been in Latin America and stayed in an older Airbnb, you probably know what I'm talking about Of course that doesn't apply to you if you live up in the LT Plano because then there's no air conditioning or heating bill Anyway, we're talking about sweating and how especially newly arrived gringos and expats was sweat two three four times as much as Latino was sitting right next to him and Most newbies are shocked out of their minds when they look on a roof and they see a bunch of guys working in the bright Sun Putting down tar or whatever with barely a beat of sweat between them on their foreheads another one of life's strange mysteries

[18:44] Anyway, another reason I'm talking about sweat is because some people sweat profusely on just one part of their body It could be hands soles of the feet armpits tracero. You remember that word from last show, right? Well get this not so long ago. I accompanied a young lady to a plastic surgeon's office Yep, that'll happen if you've got a Latino girlfriend or know some Latinas down here a plastic surgery is a big thing here You've heard me say that before so naturally I was shooting the breeze with the ladies in the waiting room Finding out what they're there for and all that, you know here in Latin America Ladies and girls are completely unafraid to tell you about their plastic surgery experiences They look at it as a badge of honor because pretty much only people with money can afford it Right and or middle class or lower middle class ladies who have a boyfriend or lover who will end up

[19:29] It's an age-old story the beautiful girl from the wrong side of the tracks or living in the body Oh catches the eye of a guy with a little dough He takes her to the big city and saves her from a life of poverty in the meantime He shells out for all the requisite makeovers including the nips tux and whatever Anyway, while I was sitting in that plastic surgery waiting room with probably eight ladies I discovered that two of them were there for a special treatment called Ianto for recess I never heard of that before have you but there were pamphlets on the front desk So I took one and read about it. It was in English and Spanish turns out It's a new or fairly new technique to stop people from sweating excessively I thought yeah, right. This must be BS, but I checked it out on the internet and it's 100% true All kinds of major University double-blind studies prove it

[20:18] It's all about sending a modulating electric current in a certain way across the areas that sweat after a certain number of treatments Usually two weeks worth before 10 minutes a day. The sweat glands in those areas are completely deactivated Now it's not a permanent treatment The ladies have to go back for one 10 minute treatment every two weeks to a month forever But it does work. In fact, the white papers say it works in about 94% of cases and the two ladies I talked to there had been having treatments and they swear by it. No more sweat Both had suffered from excess Axillary sweat, you know armpit sweat not a good look especially for ladies. We're out and about so anyway when I got home I researched those machines and all the professional ones are around 500 bucks and you might ask why did I do that? Well, I know a lady who suffers from that very same thing and get this at the plastic surgeons office

[21:06] They charge a hundred fifty bucks for the first round of treatments That'd be two weeks of daily treatments of ten minutes each and fifty bucks every follow-up treatment Usually once a month and as mentioned that would be forever So I got together with that pretty young Latina in question You know the one that has the same problem ordered one of those machines from the states for 500 bucks Exact same one that you use in the plastic surgeons office She did the first couple weeks and is absolutely delighted with the results By the way, the machine has three attachments One for the armpits the axillis one for the hands and one for the feet or butt So anyway, just thought you might like to know that I mean, hey could have been you or me now think about it Anyone who goes to the surgeon's office will pay enough to buy one of those machines in like six months, right?

[21:54] Hmm. Why does it take a gringo to figure that stuff out now, of course those ladies in that waiting room We're all upscale ladies. They had money you could tell of course They had no idea of the actual cost of the machine and didn't care Anyway, just know there is a treatment available if you suffer from that problem yourself It's called an ion topheres machine And if you want to know the exact machine to get the one my lady friend bought send me an email the expat files That's email that comment. I'll send you off the info though If you're in the United States You might not be able to get that machine because I noticed when I ordered it for you had to be a medical doctor To get one you had to put down your license and state and all that unless however like many restricted things Those rules didn't apply if it was being shipped overseas Latin America you gotta love it. Oh, yeah, you might be wondering does the treatment hurt it is an electrical current, right?

[22:41] Well, the ladies undergoing that treatment said it's just a tiny little trickle no pain at all And remember, it's only 10 minutes a day for two weeks and one 10 minute treatment every two weeks to a month from then Quite a little moneymaker for the doc, right? It's what they call evergreen When I'd be remiss if I didn't mention something about deodorants themselves Now I imagine most of you guys and gals listening to this show know that there's aluminum chlorhydrate in Stick and bar deodorants, right aluminum chlorhydrate. That's the active ingredient that works better than anything on the market However, we must also reason that is people in the know that aluminum is not safe. It doesn't belong in our bodies In fact Alzheimer's victims all of them have microscopic traces of aluminum in the plaques in their brains

[23:27] So then where's that aluminum come from? Well cooking utensils cosmetics pots pans aluminum foil industrial processes and deodorants with aluminum chlorhydrate applied directly to your body So naturally you want to eliminate the usage of that stuff So you get stainless steel pots and pans get rid of those aluminum coffee makers and switch over to deodorants that don't have aluminum Chlorhydrate in them or any kind of aluminum at all easier said than done man. I've tried it Oh, there are plenty of alternatives out there. All right, including using natural lemon juice Or you could go around smelling like a backpacker hippie or Romanian tourists No offense to Romanians lots of Eastern Europeans have that going for them I guess it goes back to those Soviet black days when there was only one brand on the shelf always in short supply

[24:13] Anyway, if you go on Amazon, you'll see there are at least ten different brands of deodorant whose claim to fame is they have no aluminum or aluminum Chlorhydrate in them and all of them work for a while but only for a short one Just no staying power after a couple hours. You can tell the difference. So I don't know someone's got to work on that now I'm asking you listeners out there not to send me emails with your own recipes Not unless you've actually lived a while here in the tropics and have tried it out I'm sure a lot of those substitutes will work fine up north but down here around the coasts and in lowlands You're talking worst case scenario. So no new age cures or homegrown recipes, please Unless they've had the acid test down here in the tropics just saying oh, and by the way this particular subject It gives additional weight to the notion that Latinos and Latinas in general are not nearly as inquisitive

[25:02] We're creative as your average gringo American expat because you know, every time I've brought up that aluminum Toxicity issue and aluminum and Alzheimer's connection It's turned out to be completely new and amazing news to any Latino or Latina. I've mentioned it to it It seems like no one or at least no one I've ever spoken to and I've talked to many of them even educated ones have ever heard Of it unless of course, they were children of the rich and went to helicopter schools or studied abroad You wonder how's that not news here? Same thing goes for that fluoride thing I'm sure that practically everyone who listens to this show knows about the dangers of fluoride It's a poison a most toxic substance Look it up even dentists up north by you are starting to get embarrassed talking about it The thing is down here in Latin America when you go to the store and buy salt At least three-quarters of the brands local brands have iodine and fluoride in them. Well the iodine part

[25:51] That's probably okay prevents goiter and iodine of course is good for a nuclear attack Then again, so is kissing your ass. Goodbye Anyway, when I'm in someone's kitchen and I see a salt chick or I look at it to see if it's got fluoride in it I don't allow it in my house. And yes, there are some brands in the store that don't have it Anyway, as it turns out every time I try to explain to someone that fluoride is not so good I get blank stares that does happen You know, you're sitting around the table at someone else's house eating dinner and you look at the salt shaker It's got fluoride in it. I'll say this is not good You should get rid of it and give a short recap why you know over the years I've been in that situation and had that discussion many times and there hasn't been a single instance Where the owner of that house or anyone at the table knew what the hell I was talking about I had to explain it to him

[26:37] But you know people will be people and the first time it usually doesn't sink in so next invite next dinner No change same salt that of course means same thing goes for the salt They use in all the restaurants and all the foods cooked with that salt then again up in the states where you live Most water supplies are fluoridated So every restaurant you go to and every dinner invite you get as it baked into the mix, too However, one of the really good things about living in Latin America is that they do not fluoridate water supplies at all So even if you get a little dose of it once a while at a restaurant or at a dinner at someone's house That's small pickings compared to the amount of fluoride that's saturated the food supply up in the states Just remember everything you buy in the store that's been cooked uses tap water. That's fluoridated reason

[27:24] 4,645 why it's time to get that plan B get the hell out of dodge while you still can't have you ditched your aluminum pots and pans yet You've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America If you need some help with your own plan B We can schedule a one-on-one phone or Skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week long expat Insider seminar in Central America where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan B Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com. No spamos