#1294 – The Expat Files: Urban Chaos, Cultural Curios, and Dating Dynamics

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started I have to tell you I saw something the other day while I was driving around that you only see in movies in Fact you see it in action movies all the time. It's so embedded in your brain You almost kind of expect it, but you never see it in real life

[00:47] At least I don't know anybody who's ever seen it in person. I had never had before I never thought I would but I did yesterday Well, I was in a hospital zone and you know, you're supposed to slow down in a hospital zone, right? And there was a lot of traffic the traffic went right past the front entrance So once in a while a car would slow down stop and let someone out I'm not talking about the emergency entrance to the hospital. I'm talking about the regular front entrance Anyway, there just happened to be along that side of the road a bicycle lane, you know painted with lines saying bicycles only Well in Latin America, you'll find that once in a while in big cities bicycle lanes Though they're anything but they're really just a joke trying to copy something first world that no one ever complies with Taxis and chicken buses and regular buses will just stop there and wait the driver on his cell phone or picking his nose

[01:35] Whatever you've got mango and avocado sellers parking their carts They're blocking that lane for hours on end cop patrol cars use it when they're stuck in traffic Unfortunately here in Latin America those bike lanes are just futile attempts at trying to organize the big city Funny thing too in big city Latin America, especially in the wealthier districts. You'll see those bike lanes Completely void of bikes for hours and hours on end. I think most Latinos are smart enough to know that's the most dangerous method of transportation in Latin America contrary to what you're used to Bicycles and pedestrians do not get the right away get that in your head and you'll live to see another day So anyway, I'm in the right lane. That's going right past the hospital front entrance

[02:21] With the bicycle lane to the right of me with the occasional motorcycle whipping by Well, suddenly the car in front of me stopped to let someone out on the passenger side Obviously headed for the front entrance of the hospital the door flung open a motorcycle whipped by on the right And before the passenger in the car had a chance to get out The motorcyclist rammed into the door took the full force of it and snapped it back Luckily the passenger hadn't emerged yet He just managed to fling the door open just like in the movies the door bent right over bent back now the motorcyclist man He doubled over his bike hit the curb and he went flying Now since I was right behind a car whose door was now unhinged You could say I got stuck there for a minute or two until I could work my way around him

[03:06] I wasn't gonna stick around, you know, kind of traffic bottleneck occurs after an incident like that But I drove away from the scene thinking for once in my life I got to see how a common Hollywood stunt works out in real life Yep, Hollywood gets it almost right except the car door doesn't break off Oh and I repeat once again always be on the lookout be ready to instantly swerve When a door in a parked car suddenly flings open and you're about to clip it You know compared to the US the streets in Latin American big cities are very narrow That's why you see so many cars with clipped or broken side view mirrors I'm sure that's one of the reasons why these days so many car manufacturers have electric Retractable side view mirrors and people in those cars don't care who's coming. They don't even look they'll just whip the door open and get out

[03:55] Oh and kind of sticking with that subject, you know yesterday when I was driving around I saw two or even three Motorcyclists driving around with one of those Nazi infantry helmets, you know what I'm talking about the helmets They wear in those World War two movies the Nazis in German infantry have that special kind of helmet With kind of a turned up lip on it that goes around the side and back of the head. That's instantly recognizable from far away Apparently, it's quite cool to drive around with those things down here. But I don't think it's too cool up in the States is it I wouldn't know I don't live up there but Maybe one of you guys and gals can write in and tell me if it's even an option if it's even permitted up in the states I know it's a law in Western Europe You cannot wear a German infantry or a Nazi helmet as a substitute for a real helmet when you're riding a bike

[04:41] I'm thinking though I don't know for sure You'd get your ass canceled in two seconds if you tried that in the States since you could get canceled for just about anything Imagine driving around with a replica Nazi helmet on your head though I remember many years ago when I was living in the States occasionally you'd see a guy in a Harley wearing a German helmet back Then I remember there was a certain outlaw coolness factor to it But these days, you know up in the States if you look at someone the wrong way, they'll call you a Nazi It seems to be for wokesters Anyway, the most overused insult in their limited vocabularies kind of like how rappers with their 40 IQ and 10-word vocabulary Massively overuse the n-word So I can imagine if you're up in the States using an actual German helmet walking around riding around on your bike

[05:26] Whatever you'd be pillared boiled in oil or burned at the state or maybe not someone. Please. Let me know Matter of fact when I was living back in the States occasionally, I'd go to a big antique show or a gun show Where they'd be selling actual Nazi memorabilia, you know plates books ashtrays dinnerware napkins Lugers bayonets people collect that stuff or they did anyway, especially American veterans and servicemen They collect Japanese World War two memorabilia, too. I hear there's a big market for that stuff funny though How no one wants to collect Italian World War two memorabilia? Of course, they were on the wrong side of that war too, but their hearts weren't in it There I go digressing again Anyway, and I'm thinking what if your dad or your grandpa your great grandpa was a collector of World War two memorabilia and had some

[06:17] German Nazi stuff around had some of that stuff displayed around the house like collectors do Would he get canceled would he get pillared would the woke grandkids call him out on it because you know A lot of military guys collect that kind of stuff And I'm wondering now if they're embarrassed to display a few items like that around the house What if your grandfather left you an old German World War two helmet or how about a fountain pen with a swastika on it? What would you do hide it trash it sell it or display it next to your spider-man comics or Star Wars poster? So what about grandpa or great grandpa if he's got some of that stuff do their woke kids grandkids or great grandkids Read them the riot act and treat them like traitors to the cause I don't know, but I'm sure a lot of you guys and gals out there know the answer just wondering Alright switching gears, you know, a lot of people are writing me lately asking about Bitcoin talking about how it's the best performing asset

[07:08] Of the year went up over a hundred percent this year already Meanwhile just a year or so ago Financial analysts and all those financial TV show blabber mouths were saying Bitcoin is dead like for the hundredth time Droning on saying the fat is over. It's a scam, but you diehards out there You guys and gals with patience if you've been in it a while you're used to hearing the traditional financial pundits say that now today surprise surprise once again, it's the top searched Google term in all finance and since I've been on the Bitcoin train Talking about it way back when when I first started the show People try to pick my brain on it all the time, especially lately saying things like Johnny. What's happening with Bitcoin? What can we expect in the next year or two? Is it time to buy is it time to sell or just watch and sit on the sidelines?

[07:59] Well, I've always said in private even in public that everyone who's got a little extra dough should own at least one Bitcoin Now I'm not clairvoyant. I'm not in the prediction business, but I'll just make this general statement about Bitcoin if You go to a regular big old financial conference. They're holding them all the time, right? Every weekend there are hundreds of seminars and conventions like that at big hotels and convention centers Talking about a traditional financial conference stocks bonds commodities options futures trading, etc Well, if you ever attended one of those you find you meet a certain kind of person a certain caliber of person Smart guys and gals are right above average people have made it in the field And if you go to let's say a real estate conference

[08:46] Yeah, sit around talk to people You get a kind of take on what they're like smart guys and gals It's always a little above average to if you go to a banking conference Well, you meet a certain kind of person conservative kind of stoic always above average to you go to a government Conference, you know meet a certain kind of person. Let's not go into what they're like However, if you go to a Bitcoin conference and they're being held all over the world to lots of people show up hundreds even thousands of people show up you'll find the average IQ of a presenter at a Bitcoin conference is unquestionably 10 or 20 points higher than any of the aforementioned Presenters at any one of those other conferences that includes attendees at Bitcoin conferences

[09:33] They're head and shoulders above attendees at any of those other conferences, too So who you gonna bet on if you look at all the conveniences in this world all the inventions all the advancements in this world it's only that top 1% the smartest people in the world who are the creators and Most creators and inventors these days would self-identify as nerds Average guys even people slightly above average do not invent microchips They don't develop software. They don't create new alloys or new chemicals or new biological processes Only the smartest people in the room are the world's movers and shakers They created the Renaissance the Industrial Revolution the space age microchips motors avionics, etc, etc Who are you gonna put your money on looking into the future? Who are you gonna hit your wagon to?

[10:22] the financial guys the real estate guys the banking guys the government guys or The nerds who are born with 10 or 20 IQ points ahead of the pack That's all I'm saying go to a Bitcoin or crypto conference and try to prove me wrong walk around Listen to what those people are talking about You'll find that you're standing in a room with some of the smartest people you've ever met Though their socks might not match and their hair might be tussled. Who cares? The point is if you've got a little money to invest those are the guys you want to hit your wagon to Not the flashy polished financial talking heads on Bloomberg or CNN That's my position if you're interested. All right, let's take an email. This is from Josephine She says hi Johnny I've been to Mexico many times and it seems the locals are obsessed

[11:12] with superstition and Astrology, is it the same south of south of the border like Guatemala Honduras Panama and South America? Do people wear or have tattoos of zodiac signs? Do people seriously base their compatibility or not on if they're Astrological signs their horoscopes mesh or are correct if I were to meet people South of south of the border will they ask me my sign that happened fairly frequently when I'd visit Mexico and encounter new people Though that was some years ago. I haven't been to Mexico in a while. Is it like that in all of Latin America? She says I'm recently divorced and back in the dating game again after a certain period of feeling sorry for myself

[12:00] I got on one of those dating apps and when you fill out your profile your resume So to speak a question on the top of the list is what is your astrological sign? She says I'm not a believer Johnny just as I'm not a believer in a Ouija board But in high school my friends and I would drag it out at parties for laughs It seems like back in high school. Everyone had a Ouija board gathering dust in the broom closet somewhere I always thought she said the more person spoke about astrology The less I'd want to consult them for any kind of solid advice. Just wondering sign Josephine, San Diego, California P.s. Johnny, it's been a long while since I've popped down to Mexico Used to go down with the girlfriends on weekends. That was ages ago I'm just a short drive away when you hear too many stories about how it's getting worse. It's just too dangerous

[12:46] She says are you kidding a group of girls alone and partying in a Mexican border town? Not worth the risk Alright Josephine. Thanks for that Yep, you're right about that astrology thing Latinos take astrology and other superstitions a lot more seriously than they do up in the states And I think there's a dusty old Ouija board in my mom's house somewhere, too In fact, it seems every Latin American TV station has a daily astrology spot Usually by the way hosted by a ridiculous looking genderfluid type person What we'd used to call back in the states when I was there anyway a flamer So that's one thing you have to kind of put up with or overlook if you have a plan B down here in Latin America The overly superstitious nature of the locals. Oh, and by the way, since I'm a more scientifically inclined guy myself

[13:33] And don't believe in that astrology crap If I'm on a date, let's say and within the first couple of minutes the girl says what's your sign or she tells me hers I'm thinking This date is over. Nope. Even if she looks like Miss Argentina. I don't want to date the slowest person in the class Though I have to admit over the years. I have been stuck at parties and such Sitting next to a true believer in astrology. Usually I just try to find a way to remove myself from the situation Because with true believers, it's like talking to a brick wall But in those times I did have to express my point of view I remember how easy it was to take the air out of an astrology proponents balloon I just asked one question. Do you remember the big astronomical event that happened in 2006?

[14:20] Which usually gets a no and a blank look then I say really that was the year Pluto Was voted out of the planetary club by members of the International Astronomical Union Was booted out as a planet by all the world's astronomers up to then till 2006 every astrological chart in the zodiac had Pluto as a planetary influence and in 2006 when it was booted out that meant everyone's astrological chart that was prepared before then was in error was patently wrong that is if you have any belief in that stuff at all because you see in 1930 when Pluto was discovered the Astrological world took notice and started entering it as a planetary influence in their charts before

[15:06] 2006 if you had your chart done Pluto was always taken into account Funny whenever I'd bring up that argument to a true believer. They just simply have never thought about it now I don't want to sound like a pompous jerk here But I really don't want to date hang around with or have an astrology discussion with the slowest person in the class I'll be civil and nice to him, but date or hang with him Now of course if you hang or date with anyone long enough They're gonna tell you their sign the trick is though who'll be the first to say it's fun to talk about But I don't really believe in that shit. That's why by the way I was so disappointed in Ronald Reagan when I found out that he and Nancy had a personal astrologer I thought a guy with his finger on the nuclear button Consulting astrologers. There's something very wrong with that picture

[15:54] By the way since Josephine our emailer mentioned dating apps, you know those Cupid apps Apparently 50% of all the dating now takes place with the first hookup on one of those apps In fact, there's a very interesting study by a psychologist named Candace Blake from Australia on the theme of finding your match on one Of those dating apps. She talks about how likely you are to find the partner of your dreams or the partner of your worst nightmare She found out that wealth disparity in a country positively predicts How women sexualize their profile images on those dating sites, you know whether they're gonna dress conservatively or show a lot of skin suggestive poses bikini shots the kind of sexy photos that pervade the dating apps down here in Latin America and

[16:41] Much less so up in the States if you ever got on one of those Latin Cupid sites You'd see some of the most suggestive sexy profile shots possible sometimes just short of revealing all Anyway, her study shows the greater the wealth disparity in a country In other words, the more extreme the poverty to wealth ratio is or another way to put it the smaller the percentage of middle-class people The more a woman will amp up her sexuality on those dating sites with suggestive photos, etc In other words third world ladies are a little more desperate to lure a wealthy partner So they don't end up living in poverty as such a large percentage of the population does So in poorer countries ladies are a little more desperate to snag a high roller or what they perceive as a high roller

[17:28] Which could be a guy making only fifteen hundred bucks a month on a social security check. Does that make sense? In other words ladies in poor countries pull out all the stops in that mating and dating fishing competition online By really ramping up the sexy angle in regards to their photos That's why the average first world girl on a cupid site thinks latinas on the Latino Cupid sites are somewhat vulgar and slutty Studies show that the average American or Canadian lady in the mating and dating game would never post many bikini or lingerie shots on a dating app You know in my dad's day, they used to call those cheesecake shots Now, of course most American ladies on those dating apps will post one or two swimsuit shots at the beach But not multiple photos and multiple suggestive poses in skimpy lingerie, etc

[18:17] Whereas if you've noticed Latin American dating sites online are just chock full Intentionally sexy profile pictures some you might think are way too sexy for primetime again Psychologists are chocking that up to the extreme class disparity in a desperation not to end up in poverty Oh and on that very subject. I was listening to a Douglas Murray podcast a British guy He's one of my favorite intellectuals. I've read his books and I watch his podcast He said just recently on one of his podcasts that he has a friend from India Where there's a huge wealth gap? Much greater than in Latin America in most big cities to a first-world person. Anyway, the poverty is unimaginable Anyway, Douglas Murray asked his India buddy about that mating and dating online apps in Delhi, India

[19:07] He said at the low end where there's extreme poverty dating still goes on though There's a trick the guys pull when mating and dating He said when the guy goes on a dating app He lies about his social and financial position and on that first date he'll call a friend who has a newer pair of Nike or Puma or New Balance shoes and borrow them for that first date and He'll call another guy who's got a nice blazer jacket in good condition if he gets a second date out of it He'll borrow a friend's motorcycle In other words, there's a pool of men of friends who have one thing or another in New or decent condition and they lend that stuff out to each other So as to make a good but false impression on their date So together between them they have one good dating outfit and a motorcycle

[19:54] That keep getting past round and round as the guys go on dates all that between maybe ten guys who are friends So eventually when there's a good connection and the guy gets the girl to say she loves him and agree to get married Then the guy fesses up does the reveal Saying it was all an act because he didn't want her to reject him as a bad prospect right off the bat So when you think about it a situation like that's both admirable and horrific at the same time Then a guy has to go through all those lies and pretense Just for a date because the wealth disparity is so extreme and the girl doesn't want to get stuck in grinding poverty Then again think about how many guys and gals up in the states in Canada and Europe first world people They hook up with someone on a dating app. They take them to a really nice high-end restaurant

[20:42] They blow a ton of dough. They really don't have on the credit card They put on the dog just to make the girl think they're in a certain Socioeconomic category that's above hers because they know Ladies do not like to mate and date guys who make as much or less than they do Yeah, might not like to hear that but that's an inescapable fact Another inescapable fact in the mating and dating game is what some people call the tall guys syndrome Have you heard of that? Turns out if you do the numbers Researchers have found that guys on dating apps who are six feet or taller Get 80 to 90 percent of all the positive hits from women Which is why so many guys lie in their profile and put six foot down when they're not they'll embellish their income

[21:28] Education and job description too Whereas most women on those cupid sites will lie about their age weight and measurements bottom line People will lie their asses off to snag a mate as for me. I'm a bit lucky I don't have to lie about my height my weight or my education only my age Right now let's take an email from a racially diverse lesbian half-black transvestite native American albino deaf person Just kidding this one's from max and I'll paraphrase a bit here to leave out the boring parts She says hi John. I just heard your show about feeding dogs raw meat She says I especially like the part about feeding your dogs raw coconut meat She says I have friends who sell fresh coconuts from Thailand at nine dollars each

[22:18] She says I'm gonna start buying them from my little reindeer chihuahua Hmm me Johnny here. I never heard of a reindeer chihuahua. Have you I never heard of paying nine bucks for a coconut either Funny thing too down here in Latin America if you're on the gringo tourist trail, you might pay four or five bucks for a coconut However, when you're off the gringo tourist trail in the boonies or in a town, that's not on the trail Yeah, I might pay two bucks for a coconut in a big modern grocery store or in a Costco Known as price mark down here, but on the street in Little kiosks and those guys pushing carts around filled with coconuts. You can get them for a buck apiece and with one whack of the machete They'll expertly cut it so that just a little bit of the white coconut meat showing yet

[23:09] They haven't perforated in to the liquid part So you could take it home stick it in the freezer or put it out in the counter for a couple days It'll still be fresh If you want to drink the water you just poke that little exposed white soft spot of meat shove a straw in there and start sucking by the way if there's something I don't like about today's digital technology is The fact you could take any podcast like this one and pull things out of context and put them on the internet Jumble the words and phrases around any way you like and create a false commentary out of a perfectly innocent phrase or quip For example, I just said puncture the white soft spot of the coconut meat Stick a straw in it and start sucking. Well, you know any no good Nick who's good with digital audio

[23:55] Could rearrange those words and especially create a lot of mischief with that phrase stick a straw in it and start sucking That little bit could be cut and pasted into any one of my thousand plus podcasts all that to damaging effect And post it all over the internet. It's especially true with AI That's not the future. It's here. Now pretty soon We won't be able to trust if anyone's podcasts or videos are the real McCoy now that the AI can of worms has been opened There's nothing we can do about it. Oh, well, anyway, max goes out to say in her email Johnny by the way, my chihuahua is not a yappy. You're nervous type. He's very calm gentle and quiet Maybe that's because I feed him raw meat Like raw duck with duck hearts and duck liver and duck bones and kale and pumpkin kelp all raw

[24:45] Sometimes I give him raw rabbit or venison, too Though I do give him a little dry kibble stuff from Canada occasionally called Carna for see a RNA for Never heard of it. Anyway, she says there's a duck and venison version of it Funny thing too when he eats that the dry stuff he eats it last always goes for the raw meat first Also Johnny she says there's a company or place called honest chicken that make human-grade pet food They've got one with cabbage sweet potatoes and turkey good stuff Oh, and did you know Johnny when you feed chickens if you have them if you feed them sprouted sunflower seeds Then the yolk of the eggs will be dark orange and they're superior with high omegas

[25:33] She said did you know that chihuahua's come from foxes not wolves mine looks like a tiny reindeer with a little fox mixed in Also, she said did you know dogs and wolves in the wild will fast for many days and especially when they get older She says too much meat will be hard on the kidneys as they get older So if you dramatically decrease meat intake as they get older, they'll live longer She says my last rescue chihuahua lived to be 20 and was healthy to the very end He was seven pounds though. I think that's fat for a chihuahua by the way Johnny She says I hope this email reaches you the last two or three emails. I said apparently didn't anyway Johnny She says enjoy your dogs. It's a luxury to have them and lots of commitment, but so well worth it in the end

[26:19] signed max Alright max, thanks for that. You know, I've always been a big dog guy I like the big ones one of the main reasons is that small dogs yap and yap and they drive me nuts Though if like you say there are small dogs like chihuahua's out there that don't yap That would be a consideration, especially if you're in a small apartment and don't have much green space Because having big dogs in a small apartment is not good for you or the dog Anyway max before you mentioned there are chihuahuas that don't yipe like your dog The only other very small dog I came across that never yiped was a miniature Dachshund You know mini wiener dog the ones I've come across and I know people who have them They insist they're the greatest dogs around except they can't take stairs

[27:06] The way they're bred going up and down the stairs really destroys the leg bones and cartilage So they always end up with back leg problems barring that I was told they're the perfect small dog for a city apartment big or small with no stairs If you have stairs forget about it, they'll climb them then sadly you're condemning that dog to an old age of misery There you have it just a few suggestions if you have a small apartment and you love dogs just saying You've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America If you need some help with your own plan B We can schedule a one-on-one phone or Skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week-long expat insider seminar in Central America

[27:51] Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan B Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com