#1334 – The Expat Files: Chicago, Immigration, Health Care, and Dating in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you ex-pad wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started All right today. We've got some really great emails Thing is and why not people are always asking my advice And of course, that's reasonable, especially when it's about all things Latin America But what I don't get is when people ask my advice about things way outside that purview

[00:49] But hey, I don't dismiss that stuff. I'll give it my best shot Mine might be a totally twisted opinion, but you know what they say about opinions. They're like assholes Everybody has one Then again, my brother's best friend up in Chicago is a colon rectal surgeon who says occasionally just occasionally A person is born with two assholes, which is not all bad because it is a prerequisite for running for Congress Anyway, first off we've got an email from Greg. He says Johnny I was talking to my Mexican wife asking her why so many Mexicans go to Chicago when they come to the USA She says it's probably because they have so many family members living there Which really doesn't answer the question at all. So then why so many Mexican family members living in Chicago?

[01:39] He says now as for me, I'd say about 80% of the illegal Mexicans I have met or talked to they wind up in Chicago Oh and Johnny my Mexican wife also told me that the word Chicago and Mexican slang has a meeting I've never heard of if you haven't heard this you're gonna like it She says the beginning of the word Chicago Thi in Mexican Spanish means pee like to pee your pants and the cago part of Chicago The last few letters turns out in Mexican slang Spanish the slang word cago means poop or to poop on So in Mexican Spanish slang, she says the word Chicago means the city of pee and poop Which I thought was awful funny coming from her very Catholic mouth

[02:26] Just thought I'd share that with you Johnny signed Greg Mmm, Greg, you got me on that one Nope, I never heard that before Though I can see how in Spanish you could sort of work that out Anyway, as for me born and bred Chicago live there for many years It still to this day surprises me that in all those years The only Latinos I ever met were Mexicans and naturally as a gringle who only met Mexicans I thought all Latinos were like Mexicans Well, they're certainly not and only after I lived in Latin America for a while that I figured that out Sure, I was born and raised in a pure white bread neighborhood You know Germans Italians Irish Polish and I never ever saw a Latino walk through my neighborhood until I personally brought one through

[03:11] I was in ninth grade and my brand-new Mexican buddy Johnny Gonzalez. He was that first Latino I introduced to my neighborhood So then how did I hook up with this guy? He was a guy who saw one of my very first rock and roll bands play at a ninth grade social center He hung around after the gig was over and asked me if I could teach him how to play guitar Well, he became pretty good friends. He had no talent though and played guitar like shit though He was very enthusiastic about it. The thing is he used to come over to my house side give him lessons there He told me as he strolled on through the neighborhood. He'd always get looks from the neighbors Hey, if he had a walk through my neighborhood and I didn't know who he was. I had a stared at him myself Nevertheless, it still amazes me. I never met a Latino from any other country, but Mexico not while I was in Chicago Anyway, I never met anyone from Honduras, Guatemala, Panama, Costa Rica, El Salvador, Argentina

[04:02] Until I was in my 20s and was able to afford to travel outside the country Only then did I realize that Latin Americans from different countries have their own peculiarities and differences Anyway, like I said back then I had only met Mexicans So I thought every Latin American all 20 Latin American countries were basically just like Mexicans I was wrong. Of course these days. It's very different in Chicago. My family and friends tell me up there There are Latinos everywhere from all Latin countries and you know, I get lots of emails with questions asking me How do I feel about that? Well, I say it's just fine with me as long as they're educated speak English have a skill and enter legally Is that too much to ask? Otherwise kick them out, but that'll never happen because the Democrats need the votes

[04:49] You know down here in Latin America I've met tons of deported Latinos and every single one of them just love a spider Why because he's the one who's flung those border doors wide open They know that under his regime unless you're really stupid or unlucky It's dead easy to just walk right in once you sneak in you'll never get deported Everyone here in Latin America knows that Latinos down here tell me they have no worries at all about what will happen to them once they sneak in the states What they are very worried about is the cartels they have to deal with on their journey getting there in fact the words out down here in Latin America that once you get to the states and You'll make it to certain places like New York City You get all kinds of freebies starting with free food and free housing in a real gringo quality hotel

[05:37] And you get a debit card too with 500 to a thousand bucks on it. Oh And when you hit the border They give you a free cell phone too because you'll have to download an app and that provided by US immigration Oh, and if you make it to California, did you know that you're automatically eligible for Medi-Cal? That's California state free full coverage health care Yep, California has opened up the program to illegal aliens starting with children 19 to 25 year olds followed by adults 50 and older and just last January two months ago Illegal alien adults between the ages of 26 and 49 They are as of January fully eligible for California state health care benefits The California Med-Cal plan estimates there are 700,000 illegal aliens now eligible for the program

[06:26] Hmm. Isn't that nice? Here's a question for you. You have health insurance, right? Is it free? I don't think so. I bet you have to pay a hefty premium every month, right? Oh, and what's your deductible? You know At my last expat insider seminar just a month or so ago now Attendees were telling me about their insurance programs and complaining about their deductibles. Some had 2,500 a year deductibles some 5,000 even 10,000 Well, guess what? If you're one of those lucky 700,000 illegal aliens in California, you've got no monthly premium and zero deductible You know, I just wondered for example if I was sitting in a hospital emergency room in California Sitting next to a person who is obviously an illegal alien

[07:13] Telltale signs being well, there are lots of telltale signs like the fact that the person has no us id documents and he can't speak english I just wonder how i'd feel sitting next to a guy like that Worrying about what my bill could be and my 2,500 or 5,000 or even 10,000 deductible Meanwhile the illegal guy sitting next to me has no such worries Which begs that universal question? How's your plan be coming and who in the hell would ever want to live in california? You know, we're not done with greg's email he's got another question he says johnny He says I was wondering if they do dental implants in your neck of the woods meaning central america Is there any chance you might know a good clinic? Then he adds I wonder if it would pay for me to fly down and get him done

[08:02] He says i'd appreciate any thoughts on it. Thanks, johnny Okay, greg sure, but you know when you ask a question like that I know you haven't been listening for too long because i've talked about dentists dental treatments implants braces, etc, etc many times in the past shows I also spell all that stuff out in my latin american health care report I talk quite a bit about it in my health care segment of my seminars, too But since you asked Just a little recap here Down here in latin america when you're off the gringo tourist trail dentistry costs about a quarter to a fifth Of what you'd pay with the same thing up in the states Like for example, if you needed a crown in chicago that costs 2 000 bucks Down here. You could get the very same thing for three or four hundred

[08:50] Braces the same what might cost five thousand bucks up in the states a grand to fifteen hundred here You'll pay a quarter to a fifth of the price for implants down here compared to the states as well The thing is though dental implants are a fairly recent technology and fairly high tech Very much specialty work Sure, just like up in the states down here an average dentist can do implants But as for me if I was getting that kind of work done i'd go to a specialist like an oral surgeon Why because in their specialty training they spend a lot more time doing implants than general dentists do Now if you're down in guanamala, I always recommend dr Alex lots of my expat insider's seminar attendees have gone to him when they come down to the seminar They just add a couple days and get their work done So then what makes dr. Alex so special?

[09:37] Well, first of all and probably most importantly he went to the united states to get his oral surgery degree And for a latino or anyone from a third world country To get accepted into an oral surgery program in the states or any advanced Medical specialty program in the states you have to be in the top of your class Aside from that he speaks perfect english And again, he got his oral surgery degree in the us at a prestigious us school And guess what after he completed the program They didn't want him to leave they offered him a position in that school and guess what? He said no i'm going back to guanamala because my family and friends are there Note that it's highly unusual When a third world professional gets an advanced degree in the us To be asked to stay on as a teaching professor when they graduate

[10:26] Because the deal is you see when you're accepted in a us specialty medical program You get a student visa to the states that expires after you graduate and you have to go home or else Every foreign doctor after graduating in the states would just stay in the us forever, right? It's a fact if you want to go back to their home country because they know in the states They can make five or ten times as much. That's just the way things are That's why foreigners in medical specialty programs come on student visas that expire That means they're only allowed in the states long enough to get their advanced degree Then they have to go back home though in dr. Alex's case They asked him to stay on permanently which is unusual and speaks to the quality of his work He said no his loyalty was to his family friends, etc and its country

[11:14] Just note there are many physicians jentis specialists the works practicing down here in latin america Who got their advanced degrees in the states europe canada, etc. They're all over the place down here Just check out their diplomas when you walk into their offices You'll see all the best and most respected docs have walls just full of diplomas They're extremely proud of their accomplishments and what they've achieved in life So they proudly display their diplomas. You can't miss them Oh and one more thing I just mentioned that the cost of dental treatment down here is a quarter to a fifth as much as it would be up in The states that's a huge savings which makes most trips down here just for dentistry well worth it You can make a vacation out of it and have the savings pay for the whole thing with a hell of a lot left over, too

[12:02] Again, I said dentistry is about a quarter to a fifth as much as it is up in the states But only when you're off the gringo tourist trail If you're on the gringo tourist trail looking to get some work done As soon as you're in places like Costa Rica Tulum Cancun or any place where a cruise ship lands Your dental work will still be a lot cheaper probably half as much as what you'd pay in the states But just remember because on the tourist trail Dentists and physicians see lots of gringo. That means they've developed certain preconceived stereotypical notions about it Like for example, we're loaded and they will like many dentists and especially some of the states will try to oversell you on your treatment plane You long-time listeners have heard me mention this before but it's worth repeating

[12:49] And I've heard this from dentists and physicians myself If for example, you go to a dentist off the gringo tourist trail I'm saying off the gringo tourist trail now You just might be his only gringo patient or one of the small handful of gringo patients he has The thing is down here in latin america very few people have dental insurance. So Dentists have no incentive to upsell you meaning they won't look at you as mr Moneybags and push you into what dentists call the Cadillac treatment Because their local latino patients just won't put up with it won't stand for it or just can't afford it Here's an example of the united states. For example, my sister's dentist Let's say you crack a tooth She just might say this tooth needs a crown and your insurance will pay 80 percent of that

[13:38] Well, you schedule the appointments and you go ahead and do it in latin america Where almost no one has dental insurance a person walks into the dentist office with a cracked tooth the dentist will say You know this tooth really needs a crown Eventually anyway, but they're expensive. He knows in his mind the patient probably can't afford a crown So he doesn't push it because he knows the tooth is still hanging in there and he can repair it He knows he could get a little more life out of it before it absolutely needs a crown He's got a lot of techniques resins bonding pins posts, whatever they use So unlike when you're at the dentist in the united states Here's how the conversation might go when you're down here in latin america You know, this tooth eventually is going to need a crown. It will be expensive. That would be a permanent fix

[14:23] We can go ahead and start if you like but I know I can repair this thing to a certain degree It might last a couple more years Maybe you'll get a year two years even five years if you don't chomp down on a lot of hard things like popcorn holes No guarantees, of course, but let's go ahead and patch it Now at a dentist office up in the states, you'll rarely hear that kind of talk Because the dentist and my sister tells me this all the time Know very well the insurance company will pay 80 sometimes even 90 percent of that procedure So dentists up in the states might never offer that much cheaper alternative And that's what's happened with dentists in latin america on the gringo tourist trail like costa rica kang kun taloon They know that gringos who have come all the way down to latin america to see them in their offices

[15:10] They know that gringo has already been to a couple of dentists up in the states And may even have a treatment plan in his hand when he walks into the office They know the gringos down in latin america looking for dental work because he's been freaked out by the price He's been quoted from dentists up in the states So they do want the dental work all the best high quality dental work, too They've already been primed for that by their dentist up in the states And therein lies the problem when you go to a dentist on the gringo tourist trail The dentists have seen this gringo scenario time after time that makes us an easy upsell Hell we've already been upsold by our dentist up in the states By the time most gringos come down to latin america for their dental work. They're looking at lots of crowns bridges and implants Dentists on the gringo tourist trail also know that gringos come down with cash or can put it all on a credit card

[16:02] Here's the thing. They walk through the door saying to the doc. Look, I need lots of crowns and bridges I've been told all that by my dentist up in the states So go ahead i'm all yours Anyway, I think you get the point you can see once again when gringos start piling in Little by little we slowly jack up the cost of living and eventually we're seen by the locals as just dollar signs Then again, if you've got the door you can live anywhere you want Some gringos like living on the tourist trail. The problem is and i've seen it for myself There are lots of jaded locals on the gringo tourist trail Everyone's got their hand out for a tip and they've got a false smile to go along with it All right moving on, you know, we don't talk a whole lot about brazil Though it is a very interesting place. It's not on my top 10 lists for a plan b

[16:49] You know getting residency starting a business there. The bureaucracy is immense Street crime is out of control and if you've got a legit business on the books They tax the shit out of you and the bureaucracy there just keeps getting thicker and stupider all the time Is that a word stupider? If you still think you want to visit brazil Well, you better do it now because in exactly one year on april 10th 2025 citizens from australia canada and the us will need a visa to enter the country That means you'll have to apply for one before you go. The cost will be 80 bucks and here's the kicker Applicants that means us residents again will also need to provide the following additional information According to the brazilian government's website

[17:36] You'll have to provide a letter of intent Detailing the dates and purpose of the trip as well as confirmed details of where you'll be staying You'll have to show proof of residence in the us and return tickets to and from brazil And here's the part that just might piss you off enough to say screw it. I'm not going You'll have to provide to the brazilian government proof of income In the form of the following it says on the brazilian website You'll have to submit the last three checking or savings account statements or your last six pay slips And you'll have to show that you've had an average of at least two thousand dollars showing in your account your bank account for the last three months And it says here for those of you who don't meet those requirements. You must get a sponsor

[18:26] Who will sign off and vouch for you providing their finances instead? Hmm, so how do you feel about that? Why do you think brazil has slapped those contingencies on americans canadians and australians? Well, unofficially brazilian bureaucrats are saying it's because the united states canada and australia punish brazilian visitors To their countries in the same way For example if a brazilian wants to visit the us legally He's got to make a visa appointment at the us embassy and show he has the means to pay for the entire trip show bank statements a letter of intent etc etc and For them to apply for a visa to visit the us costs 185 bucks non-refundable So after hearing that you might say they've got a point brazil is just doing the same thing. It's tit for tat

[19:17] But here's what they're not telling you There's always that in the immediate past a large percentage of brazilian nationals who have gotten legit visas To the us canada and australia guess what they never get back on their return flight In other words, they end up staying in the us canada and australia illegally Unofficially i've heard the numbers around 20 percent In other words for about one out of five brazilians. The whole plan is never to come back to brazil The plan all along was to skip the return flight violate their tourist visa, which is supposed to only be for 90 days And live off the fruits of the land in us canada or australia forever after That's an estimated one out of five brazilians traveling to the us canada and australia

[20:03] Meanwhile when we're talking about visitors to brazil from the us canada and australia Tourism in the other direction. There are almost no cases of tourists from the us canada and australia intentionally overstaying their visas and Disappearing into the country. That's the difference brazilians like most central and south americans Wanted a piece of that so-called american dream if they can get it and there are ways if they can get a flight into the country Yep, that goes on. It's a problem while gringos from the us canada and australia Truly do visit brazil simply as tourists and have no desire or intent to overstay their tourist visa For me. Anyway brazil is a nice place to visit But I wouldn't want to live there and now even to visit there is going to be a pain in the ass

[20:49] By the way brazil had six million tourist arrivals in 2023 At 80 bucks ahead for a visa. That's about a half billion dollar windfall for the government And what do travelers and visitors get for that 80 bucks? Just more red tape. What a scam, huh? Oh, and by the way talking about manana time. It says here the average Processing of your visa will be five working days Although the company handling the applications a company called bfs strongly recommends you apply two months ahead of your travel plans Only in latin america does five days sometimes equal two months Now my take on it is this I think it's a really stupid move by brazil Truthfully poor people from the us canada and australia do not fly to brazil

[21:39] Think about it. I highly doubt any ghetto white trash or trailer court folks are hopping off to rio for a quick Vacation junket for them a day trip to six flags would be a stretch I mean look the flight itself something like 10 hours and at least 1500 bucks I'm not squawking about the 80 bucks either i'm squawking about the paperwork and the bank statements to me That's totally unnecessary and a completely stupid move on brazil spark But then again, if you're born with a monkey brain, there's always a job waiting for you in government Then again, if you're a student of history, you could think of it this way According to brazilian visa requirements the us has now been categorized as a third world country Because after all that's what third world country citizens must do in order to obtain a visa to travel to a first world country

[22:28] In other words when you think about it brazil has downgraded the us to what it really is a third world country Hmm Well done brazil Still I won't be brushing up on my portuguese anytime soon All right moving on. Let's throw a little spice into the mix No, we talk once in a while about mating dating love and romance here in latin america Though I don't want to make a lonely hearts club out of this show I gotta say about a quarter of the email questions and answers I get have to do with love mating dating and well Anything and everything having to do with latin american hookups both male and female. I don't recognize the anything in between That's just pure bullshit Anyway, i've got a big stack of emails. Let's take one from mr. Ford Fordi johnny, I make over 100k a year live in a modest house

[23:18] I wear the same stuff to work every day and have more work clothes than normal clothes I got a mid-sized truck and a dog. I'm 5 11 not ripped but not fat either I've never been married. No kids never been to prison or arrested He says i'm 42 i'm pretty damn shy so I don't go out often Which is my own fault, but I feel like it's a waste of time to go out What kind of quality girls am I going to meet at a borrower club here in the us? But i've been to 26 countries And I love latin america. I use my vacation for traveling to places. I've never been The more time I spend in the states though, the more I don't want to date But the more time I visit latin america the more I think why didn't I go there sooner and why haven't I moved there permanently yet? Mr. Ford says sure

[24:04] They have gold diggers in latin america like they do in the states But on a very very different and minor level almost negligible on that scale altogether Every girl wants a leg up in latin american girls. Most of them live in some kind of barrio or ghetto So it doesn't take much of an economic lift at all to put a big smile on their face and make them Genuinely happy to be with you Though he says the caveat is unless you're stupid enough to start buying them all kinds of things from day one And regularly taking her to non fast food restaurants big mistake If you start taking her to places She could never afford before or only could go to on her birthday Then you just might be creating a monster and what happens after that is your fault Ford says johnny because i'm kind of a quiet introverted guy up in the states. I always had trouble with women

[24:54] When you have that problem, you read a lot of articles and books and see a lot of youtubes on that subject He says in one particular book I read called settling for mr. Good enough The author found that men were looking for just three must-have traits in a woman Number one, she had to be reasonably attractive number two She had to be warm and kind and number three she had to be able to carry on a good conversation In that same book settling for mr. Good enough The american author reported that women on the other hand didn't have three essential Must-have traits to find a guy they had closer to 200 must-have traits Even on the low end the author said american ladies have a minimum must-have trait list of 60 different items. That's 60 60

[25:43] He says for women in europe. It's exactly the same In the united states, for example, if a guy's below six feet tall he's literally invisible on the dating apps No girl will swipe or give him a like in europe. It's the same the magic number is 180 centimeters Basically the same six foot cutoff for women on those dating apps in europe Mr. Ford says in latin america none of that matters at all. If you're a gringo Doesn't matter if you're five foot two that gringo advantage of yours cuts through it all Mr. Ford, I totally agree And finally comes this email from stew. He says johnny I'm a male in the us who's had over 70 female partners A majority of those while I was unemployed and living in a kind of trashy apartment

[26:30] So he says i'm a perfect example of how no matter how much money a guy has If a woman is bored with him, she'll probably cheat on him with a broke ass guy like me He says i'm a perfect example of that. Is it like that in latin america too? Hmm stew you've had 70 female partners whilst dead broke, huh? What are you all buffed out look like brad pitt or the marlboro man or something? Anyway, as far as latin american ladies cheating on their guys Well, of course that does happen But as for gringos and latinas if she cheats on you She knows she's got a lot to lose because almost always a gringo boosts his latina girlfriend into a socio-economic level She could almost never have achieved on her own or with a latino boyfriend

[27:15] So in fact, it's much less likely to happen down here in latin america though. It does sometimes I've seen it happen in the gringo dumpster The lady's nice comfortable style living gets kicked down quite a few notches She regrets it pays dearly and socio-economically almost never completely recovers You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america If you need some help with your own plan b we can schedule a one-on-one phone or skype console Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week long expat insider seminar in central america Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan b. Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com No spammos