#1335 – The Expat Files: Class, Wealth, and Backpacking in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you ex-pad wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started All right. Let's start off today with an email that seems off-topic, but it really isn't This one's from George in New Jersey. He says Johnny you talk about Latinos putting on the dog Funny you should use that term. I had an uncle who used it all the time

[00:50] Anyway, he says if you think Latino is put on the dog Well, I know lots and lots of gringos who do it's a stupid and bad habit. I know Especially if you're used to having wealthy friends or acquaintances who could buy and sell those people Yet they lay low and never show off their wealth He says I know a thing or two about it. I'm middle-class solid middle-class But I went to Brown University an Ivy League school My parents weren't rich at all, but I got a scholarship. Luckily could never have afforded it. Otherwise, it's something like 50 grand a year He says 90% of the kids who went to Brown had parents who were ungodly wealthy a different sort of people all together Not bad people just living in a different reality from what I was used to

[01:35] by the way, the other 10% of kids going to Brown were scholarship kids like me or diversity or affirmative action kids, I Guess they had to do it back then that was slightly before the wokeness thing got started Anyway, here's what I learned about putting on the dog in my four years at Brown My rich kid buddies with old money wore very nice clothing all the time even pajamas and socks Most all had living maids back home who actually pressed all their clothes and packed their suitcases for them and none of it Had obvious brand identification In fact, they used to snicker at people wearing high-end logos like Gucci and Prada They'd say all that's for absolute suckers and reality show addicts Man, I learned a lot about class distinctions from having a few Brown University friends who were trust fund babies with parents in the nine-figure range

[02:28] Yep, they had very nice clothes, but very few famous logos. Oh And my trust fund buddies never worked summer jobs. They'd spend the summer traveling But I worked I had to I used to work summers doing grunt work for a carpenter who did high-end kitchen remodeling in Neighborhoods so rich their kids all went to Ivy League schools It was certainly different spending all day in a rich person's kitchen. That was practically bigger than my parents house You know what Johnny? I never caught any of those people wearing clothes covered with logos or Gucci signs Even at 8 in the morning if they weren't dressed in a suit for work They wore solid colored t-shirts and khakis or jeans and nice But not logo plastered running outfits or running shoes and the youngsters and teenage kids of these ultra wealthy

[03:14] Families did not have green or blue hair or nose or eyelid piercings Oh and about these kids with parents who were mega wealthy. They never bragged about it. I Personally watched my Brown University mega wealthy buddies stay absolutely quiet about it Maybe it was just the kids of the mega wealthy, but they had a different attitude about it For example, when we went out to eat or to a Starbucks, they never balked when presented with a bill In fact, they never scrutinized a bill like me and my middle-class buddies would do man I can't tell you how many times I've questioned a bill but not my mega wealthy buddies Oh and my trust fund buddies weren't nuts about fantasy football or baseball They followed sports, but never fanatically But man did they have expensive hobbies the kind that you and me would never have or even have the faintest idea of the actual

[04:04] rules of the game Like sailing polo rugby rowing lacrosse Sports that were totally foreign to me and man if you live in New Jersey and your buddies got seven surfboards You know his folks are not just rich. They're mega wealthy speaking of putting on the dog What would you think of a guy who bragged about visiting at least five countries all that by the time he even graduated from high school For a middle-class kid, that'd be something to brag about but my rich buddies They'd all been to Europe by the time they graduated high school, but none of them ever talked about it. No bragging no, nothing just something you did with your parents once or twice a year and Johnny visiting my rich buddies houses sort of made me feel funny they always had a grand piano or a cello in its own particular corner or even its own music room and

[04:55] Sometimes someone would actually be playing one of those things quite well, too Another amazing and strange thing is their houses seem to have no clutter always a 50 ish made around to in uniform I don't know why Johnny but many rich people who could afford anything Like their homes to be very simply furnished simple aesthetics, which honestly doesn't feel quite home here comfortable to me I'd feel a bit stiff when I'd sit on a sofa in my rich buddy's houses never could completely relax I noticed many of the parents of my buddies from Brown had very few things in the house But what they did have was very expensive Full leather furniture from Italy $2,000 Bauhaus chairs stuff like that Oh, and I noticed there are no scuffed armchairs scrapes on the walls behind couches or scratched furniture

[05:43] None of that lived-in look I guess when you have real generational wealth You don't become attached too much to your possessions You get a dent or a scratch in a coffee table you get rid of it and get a new one Man, that would never happen in my parents house I often wondered what happened to the furniture my buddy's parents threw away I'd love to have had a tenth of that stuff in my own apartment Oh in the kitchens when I'd walk into my buddy's kitchens. It was like walking on to a cooking show Everything was spotless and so orderly two sinks two stoves a wine cooler They had very nice glasses stainless steel and copper everywhere with like zero use of cheap Teflon pans and Tupperware Oh and fresh flowers in the living room and in the kitchen every day Speaking of having so much money in class. You'd never have to put on the dog

[06:30] That would just be way too crass when I was at Brown rubbing shoulders with the offspring of millionaires and billionaires Something I always noticed was how certain close groups of kids would just come back from a weekend with fresh sunburns or windburn They'd jet off on weekends to who knows where but never bragging or even talking about it But you could certainly tell they'd been somewhere far far away Yep, it didn't take me long to realize you live on a different plane when you never have to worry about money So if you're like me and weren't born with a silver spoon But manage to become friends with the ultra wealthy through Osmosis by having the dumb luck to be accepted into an Ivy League school Like I was if you're suddenly thrown into classes with all those guys

[07:16] You can sort of get absorbed into and get accepted by that crowd, but you never really fit in For example, you could date one of your buddy's sisters or friends or cousins You know, it's fleeting. You know, it won't last because you could never afford to support her lifestyle Funny thing to all my trust fund buddies had at least one normal broke friend like me almost always a middle-class guy like me on scholarship They dragged me along to events and on trips. It was a lot of fun weird, but fascinating You learned seemingly useless things along the way, too I finally learned what all those forks knives teacups and glasses were for you know at a formal dinner Oh and another sign of high status and wealth is teeth T-e-e-t-h yes teeth

[08:03] You can tell when someone's gone to the dentist multiple times a year their entire lives since there were probably two Having super white perfect straight teeth is an expensive habit Most of the parents in my neighborhood didn't have the money to establish that routine when their kids were young Sure, you'd go to the dentist sometime, especially when something hurt, but our parents didn't have the money to keep it up Yep, every single one of my college buddies had braces The very expensive ones that get attached behind your teeth the ones you can't see Until I went to Brown. I didn't even know those things existed speaking of my wealthy buddies kitchen Most of them had not one but two double door commercial sub-zero fridges each one worth more than my car

[08:48] You open one of those fridges. It's just teeming with whole food organic vegetables very little junk food No mac and cheese in their houses for sure Yes, my wealthier friends eat a lot differently and much more healthy than any of my regular neighborhood middle-class buddies Oh, and you should see the clothes closets of my university trust fund buddies I don't know where they get their clothes, but it's not anywhere where I shop And man, even when my buddies were rumbled and had a bad night the next morning their clothes still looked sharp They've all got a favorite personal tailored at that's alterations, too That I think is the key to why their clothes fit better on them Then our off-the-rack clothes fit on us think of how many times in your life you've been to an actual tailor for me

[09:36] It's probably two maybe three times It's completely different for my trust fund buddies with the hyphenated last names when they buy off the rack They never wear at home as for their cell phone use yes My buddies are addicted to their devices, too But my buddies with the super rich parents somehow managed to keep an extremely low profile. They've got a very small digital footprint I've found out that most all of them have been coached about keeping a low profile and privacy issues by the family lawyer Even today when I look up my rich school buddies on social media. I can find very little about them I always wonder how they pull that off turns out they actually pay people to keep information about them Off the internet and out of any news publications or social media

[10:22] Oh, and how about this Johnny the first time I went on a vacation with one of my trust fund buddies I? Thought it was rather weird. He didn't have any luggage when he took the flight I thought who travels with no luggage. I thought was he gonna buy clothes at the airport I don't know anybody who buys clothes at the airport turns out many of the super affluent have multiple homes in multiple cities with Separate complete wardrobes in each so no need at all to haul baggage That means no hanging around for an hour or so at the baggage carousel either in fact a couple of my wealthy buddies Didn't even know how many apartments beach houses and summer houses their parents owned Speaking of putting on the dog you'd think these guys and their parents to be driving Maserati's and Lamborghini's No way that's for the vulgar Hollywood crowd keeping with that low profile

[11:11] They drive cars that blend in nice reliable vehicles, but nothing too flashy Of course they've all got a principal house usually a really nice home set way back from the street yet They drive pretty average vehicles. I remember one of my buddy's mothers was driving a Honda CRV Nice car right, but I also knew She'd just sold one of her businesses for over a hundred million bucks She even advised me saying that if I ever make really big money Blending in is the best bet because people get weird when they know you have money Oh, and she said something else that struck me, too She said even if your relatives are wealthy never let them know how much you have she didn't elaborate though I wonder what she meant by that Anyway, there's more to George's email, but that's enough for now

[12:00] Skipping to the end he says that's about it Johnny Those were things I learned along the way going to an Ivy League school as a broke scholarship kid Bottom line the ultra wealthy never put on the dog It's the almost wealthy who flaunt everything and have the look at me. I'm rich in special attitude He says now that 20 years have passed. I'm 40 years old What about me? How many Gucci and Prada labels do I have hanging in my closet? Practically zero though. I wish I could say the same thing for my daughter's closet I think she'll learn those lessons because next year she'll be a freshman at Brown Alright George, thanks for that. Oh and congratulations on your learning about all those dinnerware settings

[12:46] I'm still having trouble and you know, I totally get the fact that people who put on the dog up in the States Are really just demonstrating that there's social climbing wannabes Meanwhile, there is a small small class of ultra high earners with generational wealth whose attitude is exactly the opposite Funny thing though and the difference is down here in Latin America There doesn't seem to be that distinction I know lots of super wealthy people with generational wealth to talking about Latinos here But still they and their children just love to put on the dog In fact, you longtime listeners have heard me tell stories about bodyguards here in Latin America aka Guard this pal does you see them all the time? They're everywhere at the gym

[13:33] Starbucks the Waffle House in Latin America the more dough and status you have the more bodyguards you have It's the ultimate sign of putting on the dog Whereas up in the States and in Europe people with generational wealth the extremely wealthy Often have no bodyguards at all I don't know what it is, but it seems like it's something baked into the Latin genome The more you have the more you show it off Even if it puts you and your family at risk of extortion or kidnapping the incentives here are just so ass backwards Because it's also very well known and established here in Latin America that if a kid gets kidnapped or There's some kind of major extortion or robbery going down It's almost always nearly a hundred percent of the time instigated or

[14:19] Coordinated by one of the bodyguards So on the other hand Latinos are forever stumped as to why as gringles and expats don't have bodyguards Since they know many of us gringles and expats could buy and sell the average Latino who has a bodyguard ten times over You know, I've been down here a long time and I still laugh and think it's preposterous when I say a Latino with a flock of bodyguards Crazier yet is when you see an upscale Latino driving down the street with a big black SUV full of bodyguards Trailing them everywhere. He goes. It's almost too ridiculous for words, but you see it all the time. I How do fools like that get so far in life? Why are they so stupid as to risk their own family's security?

[15:06] Constantly making themself a target by putting on the dog, of course that thinking that happens to others but not to me My bodyguards would never turn on me. They're loyal and faithful So then what's it all about? Are they really that deficient in the self-esteem department that they have to always keep putting on the dog? It would seem they absolutely need people to be jealous and envious of them. It is sort of a sickness really and note that for Latinos the ultimate status symbol is having a bodyguard and Every Latino knows firing a bodyguard is a dangerous business, too Now there's a real catch-22 because you know, the bodyguard has every one of your movements down He knows your patterns where the valuables are where your keys are He knows about the mistresses the shady deals the movements of the wife and kids. It's an unsolvable conundrum

[15:57] Why Latin Americans with money in position? They just have to show off They have to have bodyguards and they pass those same foolish habits down to their kids Yet wealthy gringos and Europeans in Latin America have not a single bodyguard on top of that wealthy latinos drive big black Mercedes SUVs and Tahoe's suburban summers and Lamborghinis Meanwhile wealthy gringos and expats Rarely put their wealth on display like that. They're mostly driving Honda's and Toyota's sounds like a genetically programmed Self-esteem problem to me just saying. Oh and even worse some of those rich Latinos think they're so important They outfit those big black suburban's and Tahoe's with a set of red and blue flashing lights that are installed under the front grille

[16:45] When stuck in traffic, they'll flip a switch the red and green lights will flash in the grille like an unmarked cop car Naturally people pull aside give way thinking it's a cop But it's not just a pretentious dickhead Latino never a lady always a guy now If you did that in the United States, you'd get pulled over and find it probably all your car Oh, there are laws against having emergency lights on non-emergency vehicles However here in Latin America, there are no such laws and if there are no one knows about so are you getting this? It's the ultimate demonstration of putting on the dog a classic display of macho self-importance Now I got to tell you my Latina girlfriend who swears she'll never go out with a Latin guy again she tells me the average Latin American males brain never grows beyond adolescence a

[17:35] Situation that gets even worse when a Latino comes into money Which sort of sums up the problem exactly By the way, when I see a Latino pulling that light flashing stunt in his big-ass SUV Well, guess what? I don't move sometimes I even slow down but oddly enough everyone else does of course if it's a real cop car I'll move for him even though Latin cops are slugs They're never in a hurry and probably when they flash their lights are just on their way to McDonald's But you never know on the other hand if it's any black SUV pulling that shit It's either a faker or some pretentious dickhead politician. Either way, I won't move but hey, that's just me Alright moving on. I've got quite a few backpackers listening to the podcast. You might call them three and four star hotel wannabes

[18:23] Think about that for a while because backpackers, you know stay in really low budget dirtbag five or ten dollar a night one star hotels and hustles and And you know if you sit down with a bunch of backpackers I've done this at various low-budget restaurants by the way number one restaurant selection for backpackers those cheap-ass low-budget Chinese restaurants are their favorites Every big Latin American city has tons of them even the tiniest little Pueblo has a cheap-ass hole in the wall Chinese restaurant or two backpackers have assessed all those places out They know they can get a complete combo meal for two or three bucks Of course, that's where a good old Montezuma likes to hang out too So I personally will have a cup of tea, but not much else Anyway, when you're sitting around with a bunch of backpackers and you ask the question, what are the downsides of backpacking?

[19:10] What are the inconveniences things you can't much control that could wreck your trip? Well aside from what might happen with visas and borders and airport crap that stuff you can never predict Aside from that stuff as it turns out at least according to the surveys I've done a backpackers three worst enemies are number one Montezuma number two The shared bathroom situation sometimes it's just fine. Sometimes it's just terrible You never know the shared bathroom situation can be extra problematic after a weekend or a big party night Then there's backpacker enemy number three. Take a guess times up Bad bugs yeah Well, you may have never had a run-in with bed bugs yourself if you've been a backpacker

[19:57] You probably have and it seems according to many articles written recently bed bugs seem to be Spreading and causing problems like never before in fact Orkin you may have heard of them Orkin You know that famous bug extermination company up in the states You've probably seen their trucks and ads and TV commercials Anyway, but what you probably never knew I didn't know it till I read about it But Orkin has a website called a bed bug registry. They've collected about 20,000 reports of bed bugs throughout the United States and Canada the website highlights bed bug reports at over 12,000 locations that's 12,000 hotels motels and Airbnbs if you want to look it up. Just look up bed bug reports anyway Unfortunately, they have no international listings. It's just in the states in Canada and looking at the site right now

[20:48] Chicago New York and Philadelphia top Orkins 50 bed bugs big city list That's three cities Chicago, New York and Philadelphia top the list. It's up to date, too It's a January 2024 ranking of the metro cities with the most bed bugs By the way, the site says when visiting any hotel when you walk through the door They recommend an immediate check of mattresses box springs headboards Footboards bed frames and furniture within five to eight feet of the bed itself Keep an eye out look for little clusters of dark brown or black spots that look like rust stains They're actually dried bed bug excrement. Yeah And it says as far as bacteria and generally unhygienic surfaces in hotels and Airbnbs, etc

[21:38] It says steer clear of the hotel provided TV remotes and uncovered glassware And here's why it says the same rag the maid uses to clean the sink in the toilet is usually the same rag they used to wipe down those other surfaces and It says according to a 2024 study of the University of Houston They found that TV remotes are the most bacteria laden items in a hotel room Second on that list are bedside lamp switches So then how you supposed to change the channel on the TV Well, the smart thing is to take a couple of Ziploc bags in your luggage I always do that got three or four of them rubber bands to they come in really handy Just drop that remote into a Ziploc bag and you're off to the races So you should also have some alcohol wipe ease in your luggage not to be too anal about it

[22:28] But you might want to use an alcohol wipey to give the doorknobs and a light switch is a wipe down When you first walk into the room Then again, if you're of the mind to build up immunity to such bacteria Then when you walk into your hotel room, just grab that remote and give it a lick Mmm. Yum. Yum. It also says here recent research has reported startling amounts of bacteria on Housekeeping supplies such as sponges and mops So after your maid hits the room You might want to pull out those alcohol wipe ease and do a once over now If you're constantly worried or finicky about that kind of stuff Just don't travel or you could just get yourself bubble wrapped and hang out on the sofa in your parents basement I hear that's pretty popular these days, but seriously because I'm a longtime traveler myself

[23:17] I've kind of developed my own streamlined system when I walk into a hotel room or rent an Airbnb, whatever Oh and I've rented lots of furnished apartments, too, you know OPF other people's furniture I've stayed in an airbnbs for months at a time as well That said and in the interest of basic hygiene just a little hint on what I've been doing for a long long time If I'm staying at an Airbnb or renting a place that's furnished I look at the photos online and check out the bed and guess what? It's almost always queen sized Well, let me tell you one of the best investments I've ever made. It's a queen sized zippered mattress cover I've done a lot of research on these things and I bought one called the hospitality products mattress encasement It's a zippered bed bug proof dust mite proof

[24:06] Hypoallergenic sleep defense system. That's what they call it. That's what it says on the box. Anyway, it's stretchable fits any queen size bed And of course, I've got a king size around here someplace too though. I found I never have to haul it around just the Queen By the way, it's very small and compact has its own little plastic pouch Got it on Amazon a couple of years back for 40 bucks And you know, it really does give you peace of mind if you want to know exactly which one I'm using Which one I ordered from Amazon send me an email the expat files at gmail.com. Oh and don't forget the pillows Do you really want to put your head on a pillow that hundreds of other people have been drooling on? Personally, I don't want to think about that. So I ordered from the same company sleep defense system a pillow encasement

[24:52] That's exactly what the doctor ordered. It's a zippered bed bug proof dust mite proof and hypoallergenic Sleep defense system. That's what they call it mighty small and compact to You get two in a set for 20 bucks as mentioned if you want to know exactly what I ordered from Amazon Send me an email the expert files at gmail.com. I don't make a cent off of this, by the way All I know is that these things give me great peace of mind and I sleep like a baby Now, of course if I'm staying just a few days at a nice hotel. I don't haul these things wrong with me It's only when I'm renting a place furnished or in an Airbnb. I Know I know some of you are thinking that John he's pretty anal about these things Well, I know some people who not only Carry around a pillow and mattress encasement set they carry around a set of sheets and their own pillow cases, too

[25:40] Well, you know, I don't do that because I stay at fairly good hotels three stars and up But if I was on a low budget and stayed at nothing But one and two star hotels or if I was a backpacker people might say I was nuts But I'd haul around a set of my own sheets and pillowcases, too That said just one more comment about backpackers, you know as for me I've been living so many years off the gringo tourist trail where of course you hardly see any gringo tourists at all But the ones you do see are mostly backpackers and why not? That's where things are the cheapest off the gringo tourist trail And that's where a lot of the free action is for backpackers to hiking trails pyramids Volcanoes river rafting and you know, one of the things that kept Reinforcing in me the idea that I'd never want to be a backpacker is when I'd sit down close to a bunch of these guys

[26:29] In a restaurant or whatever, you know, they almost always wear shorts and I'd notice their legs would be all bitten up Sometimes there'd be telltale signs of dozens of insect bites and welts and I guess after a while you get used to it Maybe but all the while I'm thinking to myself are we having fun yet? Cuz you know when I get just one bug bite It drives me nuts can hardly imagine nursing a dozen or even a half dozen of those things and somehow still think I'm having a good time Especially, you know these days are lots and lots of tree hugging backpackers who absolutely refuse to use any bug sprayer insect repellent Yep, we know it's harmful to humans and the environment and all that. Yeah, right like a tropical fly beetle mosquito Millipede whatever sucking your blood and leaving behind a few toxins. Yeah, like that's so much better because it's a kinder greener alternative

[27:19] Yeah, well when I see a group of backpackers with red splashes and welts on their legs and I see that all the time I'm thinking no. Thanks. I'll use the bug spray better yet I'll spend it though and take the three-star hotel with the AC but that's just me You've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America If you need some help with your own plan B We can schedule a one-on-one phone or Skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week-long expat insider seminar in Central America Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan B Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com