#1363 – Episode 1363: Cultural Living Arrangements, Expat Relationships, and Honey Adulteration

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you ex-pad wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Just reading an alarming little statistic here says 22% of us 25 to 35 year old males are living at home with mommy and poppy That's the highest percentage of young adult males living at home since the period

[00:47] Following the last years of the Great Depression to the start of the US entering World War two. That would be 1935 to about 1941 then of course in 1941 we declared war on the Axis powers and all the military age boys at home were drafted and sent overseas You know forcibly kicked out of the nest And you know when I hear statistics like that. I'm thinking man I came from another world when I was 18. My dad set me down and said here's how it's gonna be You got three choices. You can get out of the house You could stay here at home and pay rent or if you go to the university you could stay home for free Till you graduate then you're out of here or you pay rent. I Chose option three. I Stayed home went to university and when I got my undergrad engineering degree

[01:37] One week later, I moved the hell out on my own Of course, I had an engineering job already lined up before I graduated So I graduated had a two-week break moved out and was on the job the following Monday morning I used to think that was kind of normal, but I guess nothing's really normal these days Though I do remember back in the old neighborhood in Chicago. I had lots of Italian friends. I Remember their mothers telling them that they had to get out of the house when they're 18 or pay rent, too In fact, I remember one Italian mother in particular saying you're not gonna be like your cousin Angelo 45 years old still living with your aunt and uncle in Sorrento That's when I discovered back in the old country a lot of Italians Spaniards Portuguese and Greeks Their adult kids often ended up living in their parents houses forever and ever

[02:22] But once those families hit the shores of the US and settled in They didn't go for that anymore. That was the old world way of thinking and they were in America now I also found out however that those Italian and Spanish and Greek kids back in the old country once they got married It was an unwritten rule to get the hell out of the house start your new family Under your own roof a different roof than your parents Seemed logical, right? So then what about here in Latin America? Well, if you think that 22% of young adult males still living in their parents basement up in the States is unnatural Kind of unusual even weird down here in Latin America. Those kinds of situations are almost universal and there's no stigma at all about it However, generally the parents don't have that discussion with the kid when he turns 18 about you're gonna pay rent or get the hell out

[03:12] it seems they're never given that ultimatum they're allowed to live in mommy and daddy's house as long as they want and Since most young adults living at home down here have some kind of job. They chip in with the household expenses There's no hard and fast rule, but they just do it now Of course all this does not apply to that one or two percent who are children of the rich their parents are loaded Just like up in the states the life of an entitled rich kid is completely different than the life of an average middle-class kid of course these days things have really changed even middle-class kids up in the states are treated like little princes and Princesses and you know one of the things that really threw me when I first got down here to Latin America is when I found Out that so many young married couples live with their parents in their parents homes Now if you were to ask the average 20-something American guy or girl if as newlyweds

[04:03] They'd ever agree to that kind of arrangement. I don't think you could find a single person that wouldn't say are you crazy Getting married and living with my parents or the in-laws are you nuts? But down here in Latin America, it's so common Not only to have mom pop a couple of kids in the newlyweds living in the house But grandma and grandpa and maybe a half brother or sister in a drunken uncle, too So just a word to the wise here gringos if you plan on hooking up with a latino or gringas hooking up with a latino If your objective is love and romance long-term or otherwise Just understand that you're gonna be in constant contact with his or her immediate family down here in Latin America They say you marry the girl you marry the family now I know that gringo girls and guys will never go for an arrangement like that

[04:52] They're never gonna move into the house or the in-laws Even so Latin families have a tendency to live very close to each other in clusters in some neighborhoods You'll find the next-door neighbors people cross the street the guy that owns the tienda and the bicycle shop repair guy down the end of the road They're all related and because of that they all know each other's business or try to know each other's business That means there's always a few little family dramas going on to bottom line If you're in a romantic relationship with a latino or latino The only way to extricate yourself from that scene is to move to another part of the city or the next town So if you don't want to be immersed in all that stuff take them somewhere else, but don't take them back to the US You longtime listeners have heard me harp on that a million times Do not take him or her back to the US for any reason

[05:41] Promise it's easier said than done ask any gringo who's married a latina Even if you've laid down the lawn, she seems to agree. There will be pressure applied I repeat the easiest way to taint or contaminate your latino or latina partner and Thus screw up your relationship is to take them back to the states That's why I always recommend if you're in or contemplating a romantic relationship To be honest about that right up front tell him or her your rule It's also a great way to qualify a person to see if they're worth the effort or not Let's say you've been on a couple of first dates with a latino lady or guy. Oh Yeah, I know dating is old-fashioned right up by you Well down here, they still do it and they're not afraid to call them dates to see does

[06:28] Yep, a date down here is called a cita c-i-t-a Anyway, suppose your relationships progressing you're thinking. Hey, this is a good thing. We should keep going with this well, my advice and it's always worked for me as I tell them if This becomes a regular thing. We become a couple an item You have to realize one thing. We're never going back to the United States not even for a quick vacation Nope, no Magic Kingdom. No Mickey Mouse. No Nueva York No shopping in my jammy. We're just not going so let me know right now if you're okay with that Now you might get a variety of responses to a question like that and most will ask you why they'll seem kind of confused Now the ideal answer you're looking for is something like I'm okay with that case closed

[07:13] But you'll almost never get an answer exactly like that. You'll get that Well, I always wanted to go to Disneyland or I've got relatives in Nueva York At that point I might say something like there's a million other places in the world more interesting and more exciting than the United States We've got a whole world to explore, but we're not going to the United States. Why do you think I'm not living there? No, why do you think I picked up and left that should be enough of a response? Now at that point if he or she keeps on with the subject, you know keeps pestering you Saying things like really you can't really mean that you've got relatives up there I've got relatives up there my whole life. I wanted to see Disney World now if she's laying that on ya Well, then look out and get ready for their Chinese water torture

[07:59] She'll work on you a little by a little drip by drip Then you'll end up making some kind of compromise you'll give in you'll end up taking her and there won't be any putting the toothpaste back in the tube One of the problems is if you take her there You'll be showing her the USA on your style of budget Not a Latino budget and I guarantee here. She will be absolutely enamored and in love with the place What are you gonna do go second or third class? Nope, you're gonna go first class, right? You're a gringo a well-traveled gringo at that and chances are she's never been out of her own country And when you two come back to Latin America where you actually live you've created in her a lot of unrealistic expectations Once you give in to a trip to the States after that little jaunt to my jammy Disney World or Nueva York

[08:46] No vacation anywhere else will be good enough for her or him I've heard many gringo ex-mates tell me that the worst thing they ever did the biggest mistake They ever made was to take their Latina or Latino back to the States. Oh Notice if you go out with a Latino or Latino the rest of his or her family, especially the young adults Around his or her age will be really excited that he or she is going steady or going out with a gringo Wow, Johnny, you're really showing your age going steady who says that anymore? Anyway, his and her family and friends will be all for it And if you're paying attention and understand Spanish and keep your ears open They'll often say right in front of you because they think you can't understand or speak Spanish

[09:32] They'll be telling your girlfriend or boyfriend right in front of you how lucky he or she is To be going out with a gringo or gringa because now they'll be able to get a visa to the States or a green card Are you getting this? Her friends and relatives are not really thinking about her They're thinking about themselves because if she gets a green card That's a good thing for everyone in the family. You must know how that works Once he or she gets a green card She can sponsor her friends and relatives for green cards and visas too That's sort of a legal way an open door For many many Latinos to get into the States legally That's one of the common ways it's done Through another Latino or latina in the family who's got a green card in good standing

[10:18] Of course, it's a common practice for latinos with green cards to overstay their visa and never go back In fact millions of latinos have overstayed their legal visas and are now in the States illegally for many if not most that was the initial intent And yet another dirty little secret the liberal woke media Never really reports on They'll talk about the millions of illegals who sneak across the border and just sort of blend in Yet never mentioned the millions that came over legally on a tourist visa or a green card and just overstayed those visas And never go back to their home country So anyway long story short When you're down here in latin america and you start getting serious about a latina or latino Do yourself a favor and put them to the test. Tell them things are going fine

[11:05] The relationship's great, but there's one thing they have to know you're never Taking them back to the States not even for a weekend with mini and mickey Then sit back and see what kind of response or pushback you get Basically, it's kind of a compatibility and knowledge test all in one Like how much do you really know about the us? Oh, and this is gonna sound classist or maybe racist But you know, I almost never meet latinos who ask me that very simple and logical question. Why are you down here? You'd think they'd be very curious as to why a gringo living in paradise would want to get the hell out I mean look they're also willing or most of all are so willing to tell me how they want to go to the land of Milk and honey get a piece of the american dream Yet they never seem to ask that very simple and logical question to a gringo in the flesh standing right in front of him

[11:55] Hey gringo. Why in the hell did you leave? Why are you living here? I mean doesn't that show a complete lack of curiosity? If not a complete lack of knowledge of the international situation, and i'm not just talking about me They all know there are millions of gringos down here Mexico's filled with them Costa Rica Ecuador panama balls to the wall with gringos and expats Yet I can't think of one in a hundred that's ever asked me What the hell did I come down here for? You got to wonder is it simply a cultural lack of curiosity or some kind of psychological or mental block? Because you know what? Practically every single gringo you meet down here if you get into any kind of conversation with them at all One of the questions is always what brought you down here besides the fact that america's fallen apart

[12:43] Anyway, you can't help but notice that with latinos There's a general shortage of curiosity Though some might say they make up for it by being so much nicer and happier than we are Hey on that count they certainly have the edge All right moving on speaking of iq's Well, we weren't speaking of iq's were we but I got an email from someone. It's not the only one Asking me what my iq is Speaking of iq's isn't it funny that dumb people don't know their iq's and smart people Don't know how pompous they sound when they talk about how superior their iq's are Personally, I don't know my iq but I don't want to know All I know is that someone told me my mother's iq is 140 Which really doesn't mean shit because she goes into the voting booth and pulls the democrat lever and she took the vax and two boosters

[13:35] So there you have it common sense and iq don't correlate So as an answer to you emailers I don't know my iq because I don't want to be disappointed By the way for you gringo gonna bees and wannabes your gringo advantage once you get down here Does raise your physical 10 score by two points, but it does not raise your iq Though once you get down here to latin american settle in Your gringo advantage will give you the perception that your iq is higher than it really is Because for the first couple of months anyway, you'll be saying to yourself and all the other people around you Especially the gringos around you Look at this or that or whatever. I don't get it Why do latinos do it that way? Why don't they do things like us gringos do look at how ass backwards they do it

[14:21] Look at how inefficient they are You'll find yourself saying and thinking things like can't they see there's an easier way to do that Why doesn't the plumber or electrician or ditch digger do it the way we do it up in the states? Why don't they do it our way? It's so much better so much faster when you see workers and all the inefficiencies and lack of detail Suddenly you'll start thinking your brain is bigger than it really is Especially when you see how gringo startup businesses flourish down here like they never would up in the states Believe me, you're no smarter. Your brain is not bigger It's just that the bar has been set a lot lower and it's not for lack of smart latinos I've met lots of them with very high iq's and lots of talent I'm starting to think the difference is Middle-class kids from up in the states at least in the generation of boomers and gen xers

[15:08] They just grew up more curious and more fearless than middle-class latin americans Unlike most latinos i've come across most americans. They would forever be tinkering with stuff My friends and I always were If something broke around the house like a clock or the dishwasher, we'd take a crack at it Often to no avail sometimes we'd even make it worse, but we would take a crack at it When me and my buddies around the neighborhood turned 16 or 17 and we'd buy a junk car for 500 bucks We'd tinker with it endlessly finally get it working or maybe not But we learned a lot with our tinkering and our failures There's always something breaking down. So do we take a crack at it fix a toaster a tv a radio Take a shot at fixing anything a curious middle-class american kid might build a go kart or

[15:55] Buy a cheap telescope look at the stars or get a gilbert microscope for christmas And look at fish scales or check out pond scum 12 year old kids had chemistry sets erector sets lionel and american flyer trains They were always breaking down too So we'd take them apart and fix them because we didn't have any dough most latinos i've come across Just don't have that kind of adventurous spirit. They never worked on junk cars or fixed broken lionel trains or toasters I knew lots of kids back in the day friends of mine who went through all those faces Oh and remember slot cars That was a big thing back in the day too and they would crash and burn and we'd take them apart and try to fix them too Whereas middle-class latinos just did not have that kind of life. In fact, I read a book a while back autobiography of

[16:41] Nobel laureate richard feynman He worked on the manhattan project, you know the a-bomb and Was the guy who discovered it was the o-rings that failed during the challenger explosion Remember all those people who died when the spaceship challenger exploded well Anyway, richard feynman said in his book that when he got the nobel prize every university in the world practically Wanted him to be a guest lecturer in the physics department and they'd pay him mightily for it He said he was always interested in latin culture So he took a visiting professorship for six months at the university of brazil in rio de gennaro Touted as the finest the number one physics department in all of latin america and after that lecture series

[17:27] He went back to the states and he wrote a scathing report describing the differences between brazilian university physics and mathematics students versus american university Physics and mathematics students from princeton where he graduated and taught later on Bottom line was he said he held his tongue all the while. He was in brazil teaching He said their university system was extremely flawed fatally flawed The students were taught to do nothing but memorize all the curiosity drained out of him suppressed In fact, he was so disappointed at what he'd seen. He went into a depression about it In fact feynman says quote I can demonstrate to you that there is no science being taught in brazil even at the best universities He says the first thing that struck me when I came to brazil was to see elementary school kids buying physics books

[18:18] There are so many kids learning physics in brazil beginning much earlier than kids in the u.s That it's amazing to me that you don't find many physicists at all in brazil. So why is that? Kids working at it hard and studying and nothing comes of it. Why because it's all memorization They don't use scientific reasoning or experimentation or mathematics as a tool to solve and explore the richer problems of the world no curiosity They just memorize So in effect, richard feynman kind of sums up what's happening in the science departments of latin american universities By the way, richard feynman was considered second behind einstein as the most brilliant physicist of the 20th century But you knew that already, right?

[19:06] By the way, the book surely you must be joking. Mr. Feynman is a fantastic read You don't have to be a nerd to thoroughly enjoy it If you want a free copy send me an email the expat files at gmail.com By the way, one of my favorite books of all time moving on I would say that almost all you guys and gals listening to this show are pretty much into health Or at least give it lip service Hey, i'm not saying most you guys work out heavily and that you're ripped and all that But I think most of you guys are watching what you eat Filtering your water for the most part off the junk food cooking with stainless steel and glass not aluminum And teflon reading the labels for the most part taking some vitamin and mineral supplements. Am I right? And of course, at least I hope you're cutting way way down on the salt and sugar

[19:56] correct Yet, I know most people if not all can't completely give up refined sugar. So instead We've been told a good alternative is stevia, which some people don't like or pure, honey much better, right? Are you into pure, honey? Well, the following is not going to make you happy according to recent studies Seems like there's almost no such thing as pure, honey. Not in the big supermarkets and chain stores. Anyway Turns out in a very recent study 46% of all the honey tested in the states was flagged as potentially fraudulent up from 14% in 2021 and of all the suspicious consignments of honey tested 74% were of chinese origin

[20:42] Turns out it's even worse in the uk 100% of the honey tested in the uk has a fraudulent suspicion rate Mm-hmm. That's kind of funny how they word that Turns out most of the high production of honey you see in grocery stores is produced in third world countries and blended Before being packaged boxed and sold to the big commercial food outlets Oh, and this is said china is the number one honey supplier to both the us and the uk So according to recent studies adulterated, honey is widely available in every big supermarket Second only to adulterated olive oil who knew that so then what are you and I supposed to do about it? Well, you could make your own Or buy a fle machine which involves firing lasers into a sample to test the honey's so-called molecular fingerprint

[21:30] Which no personal consumer is gonna do because it's a machine like that's thousands of dollars now personally That's another reason to live here in latin america because you know Practically everywhere down here All you gotta do is take a little ride out in the boonies and you're gonna pass little tienes little markets They're everywhere and there's always some little guy with a stand selling honey In fact the last couple of times I bought honey. I bought from a little guy in a stand out in the road I mean with him. It's such a handmade production his bottles aren't uniform He uses different liquor bottles glass bottles to package his honey If you like and use honey, this is a serious thing and you have to be more aware of what the hell you're buying Because you have to know for one thing the cheapest honey at the grocery store is going to be adulterated My advice don't buy it at the grocery store at all

[22:16] Oh, and by the way more bad news this study says there are now such advancements in technology and science They've be able to bio engineer syrups to be used as diluting agents when they adulterate honey That can fool those expensive fake detection machines with all their lasers, etc So next time you go in the grocery store and think you're buying high quality, honey Just remember those figures 46 of all the honey tested has been adulterated best advice is to skip any Food or pharmaceutical product that comes from china Now as far as those little guys and gals Selling honey alongside the road way on the boonies might they be adulterating their honey, too. How would you know? Well, i'd say it's rare that these roadside honey people will adulterate their stuff

[23:03] Then again, you could always ask to see the colonies which are usually right out back of the house. I've done that two or three times By the way, there's one company that's creating one of those fle laser testers That's supposed to be available as an app on your smartphone Now that would be very cool. I'll keep you posted Oh and a while back an old-time beekeeper told me there's an easy way to tell if your honey's been screwed with He said have a look at a bottle that's been sitting for a while Natural unadulterated honey. He said we'll have a little sediment at the bottle a sediment is pollen It'll sink to the bottom in an unadulterated jar You won't see that kind of sediment in store bought honey because they filter it By the way, a lot of beekeepers will take sugar water or fructose

[23:48] Oh, that's poison and feed it to the bees that will make a very low grade honey That stuff can be taken by the bees and converted to look and taste like honey, but it isn't Because it's not from the nectar or flowers So then how do you know if that's been done? Well, you got to buy some honey and then put a teaspoon of the suspect honey in a glass of water The honey where the bees were fed sugar water will dissolve in that water The one that was made from real nectar and pollen will not it'll stay as a glob in the water or on the spoon Anyway, it seems like a big gamble no matter which way you go buying from a grocery store or out on a roadside Though at least with the little roadside guys You can take a walk in the back of the house and see how they're actually doing it All right, we're getting towards the end of the show now. How about we end on a real sour note

[24:37] one of our long-time listeners Kyle writes johnny You're always talking about reason 2050 or 60 or 4000 or 5000 whatever why it's time to get to hell at a dodge and get a plan b, right? Well, guess what johnny my wife's pregnant and the other day we were on the internet looking up top baby names You know to get some ideas There's a site called top 1000 baby names of 2024 And as me and the wife started looking through the first paragraph or two of this thing explaining the site etc I can't help but think i've found reason 600 and something or whatever why it's time to get the hell out of dodge And get a plan b going It says that prospective parents are picking vintage and modern baby names with equal fluency

[25:27] However, the modern trend is to pick a gender neutral baby name in the event sometime in the future He or she might not identify with the traditional gender specific birth name What the Well, then why don't you just name your kid like they name dogs spike rover spot that's gender neutral enough, isn't it? Yeah, kyle. You're right. You're certainly right. That is reason 6726 why it's time to get the hell out of dodge get that plan b going They'll come to think of it. You know, what's a gender neutral name? johnny Back in the day. I knew a lady named johnny in the old neighborhood and her sister's name billy Which reminds me the other day. I was sitting at a little coffee shop with a couple of gringos two of the guys

[26:12] I'd never met before They were talking about the cost of having kids the cost of you know, bringing them up getting them cell phones cars sending them through college And one of the guys said girls, you know are way more expensive than boys And one of the other guys said you can say that again I've got three teenage daughters and they're still girls. At least I think they are Then he rolled his eyes and shook his head We knew what that meant and believe me. It was no joke He was saying he had three daughters and they were still girls In other words, luckily none of them had decided to transition yet get hormones and a dickoplasty Who would have thought we'd be having these kind of conversations in 2024? Which begs that age-old question. How's your plan be coming?

[26:58] Oh But there's more a ps he says Johnny by the way I won't be moving to the uk anytime soon either because according to this article The thousand most popular baby names the number one name for boys in the uk is Are you ready for it? Mohammed All right, kyle. Thanks for that. And it is as you say pretty depressing news Though I have to admit I had to look it up myself. I almost did not want to believe it But you're right number one name for boy babies in the uk Mohammed You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america If you need some help with your own plan b we can schedule a one-on-one phone or skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com

[27:45] And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week long expat insider seminar in central america Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan b. Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com No spamos