#1414 – The Expat Files: Life, Food, and Finance in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now I wonder Hello there all you ex-pad wannabes I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to The Exped Files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Alright back in the saddle again. I'm doing remote this time. So you might hear some construction noises I'm on a job site and there's a wrecking crew right next to me breaking things down and tearing things apart Alright, let's get started. Now. Here's some headlines you won't hear about up in the first world

[00:49] This one comes from one of Columbia's biggest news services posted on February 11th 2025 in a recent cabinet meeting broadcast live on national television Colombian president Gustavo Petro provoked derision by asserting on TV for everyone to hear that cocaine is no worse than whiskey. That's a quote no worse than whiskey unquote Now you got to remember most of the world's cocaine comes from Colombia He further suggested which did make sense that global Legalization of cocaine would dismantle the illicit drug trade and proposed it be sold similar to wine In a regulated section of the supermarket Funny hearing a president talk like that, huh? Of course, he said it shouldn't be sold to youngsters to the youth

[01:39] But for adults, he said it's no worse than whiskey Now one thing you have to remember is that Gustavo Petro the president of Columbia is a former leftist M19 gorilla who in his younger crazier years was active in the production of cocaine. That's that's how the FARC gorillas make their money Meanwhile, Colombia remains the world's largest producer of cocaine with production reaching record levels during president Petro's administration Hmm. So what do you think of that? Speaking of things that aren't good for you, you know, I watch a lot of science and health YouTube's such a bore am I Read a lot of books on nutrition and health too And I remember about a year and a half ago. I was watching a scientific study on seed oils, you know

[02:25] canola cotton seed oil palm oil and Of course corn oil all the kind of stuff, you know, that kind of destroys your good intestinal bacteria Anyway to prove how bad that stuff is the biochemists in that YouTube did an experiment Where they went out in the boonies in the combo where there were deer beaver Fox squirrels Coyotes cats raccoons, etc They set up cameras and motion detectors and placed a pound of butter on a plate Right in the middle of a field and a pound of margarine right next to it. They monitored the footage for 48 hours Within about eight hours. All the butter was gone within 48 hours The margarine was never even touched even insects bees dragonflies Nat stayed land on the butter but they'd stay far far away from the margarine now

[03:13] I know this audience is pretty smart. You're all way above average. So you probably knew this stuff already So then why am I bringing this up because down here in Latin America everybody I mean everybody uses margarine you go to the grocery store in the dairy section There are 10 even 20 times as many brands of margarine as there are real butter And you know when I'm at the checkout counter at the grocery store, I don't think in all my years down here I've ever seen anyone buy a stick or a pound of butter. Oh Plenty of margarine tons of margarine and of course, absolutely. It's all about the price down here on average I'd say a quarter pound You know a stick of butter is around a buck maybe buck 50 for the local stuff And no, I know you've all got a high priced egg problem up in the States down here eggs are still cheap

[03:59] And it's easy to get free-range eggs from driveway chickens I'm seeing them all over the place for around 250 a dozen and sometimes you know when there's feathers and chicken shit stuck to them You can get them for two bucks a dozen, but man butter I'll tell you there's not much demand for it so they can charge what they wish it's about the same price as it is up in The States, but they've also got the high price imported spreads from places like France Finland even New Zealand Some of the big supermarkets will stock that stuff, but they don't seem to be able to move too much of it Though I guess someone's buying it because you know, they've got that fetcha the Vincimiento stamped on it You know they use by date. I always check that stuff and it's never passed its prime The point is everyone and I mean everyone has margarine in the house That of course means all the restaurants use margarine, too

[04:47] Unless of course you go to some of the more high-end restaurants where the chef knows better a good chef Absolutely will insist on cooking with butter if he doesn't he ain't much of a chef and none of that It's almost like butter bullshit brain stuff either Which brings us to seed oils like canola and corn oil Latin Americans love cooking with the most cheapest seed oils They can find as well. Then again, maybe they don't love cooking with it. They just love that. It's cheap So when you go in a grocery store You'll see rows and rows of all kinds of brands of that stuff and you'll see a little section with olive oil and coconut oil Too at least though people in the know here are catching on to the olive oil thing I'm seeing it more and more at people's houses little bottle of olive oil right next to the crappy seed oil

[05:33] Yes, even the smart Latinos who use olive oil have seed oil around the house, too I guess they keep the good stuff for the company at least I hope they do it problem is even Latinos in the know By the cheapest olive oil and you know what that gets you right? It's adulterated In fact, I just read an article that said up to 60% of cheap olive oils that claim They're 100% pure are adulterated That means mixed with crappy cheap seed oil just enough so most people can't tell the difference Can you I think I can but I wouldn't bet my life on it now If you're interested in health like most people listening to this program are there are a couple of websites You can go to where they tell you which olive oils are a hundred percent real and authenticated The sad thing is not many qualify. Oh, and if you notice there are websites popping up that tell you how many of those insidious

[06:22] Plastics are in your food Microplastics nanoplastics PFAS forever chemicals that seem to be found everywhere these days including in your brain and your testicles Now there's a revolt and development if I've ever heard one though if given a choice, I guess I'd rather have them Well, I guess I wouldn't want to have that choice at all So then when you're down here in Latin America, what are you supposed to do about that stuff because you know down here, too It's plastic plastic everywhere. Well, I don't want to say you should never go to a restaurant or eat dinner at someone else's house Because you are going to get invited The fact is I don't know what to tell you except to say you should eat more at home and prepare your own food Which means if you've got a cleaning lady or maid who does some cooking for you train her up Of course, she'll think you're nuts mine thinks I am in fact

[07:08] I've had the same cleaning lady now for about five or six years and in the kitchen cupboard There's a special place for all the food that she will eat and I won't it's her preferred junk food The fact is I give her an extra little bit of money every week to buy the food She likes to eat because she doesn't like the food. I'm used to eating like for example She likes those instant ramen soup thing You know that crap that comes in styrofoam cup you add water put in the microwave Yum, yum, and it instantly becomes plasticized soup with about a year's supply of salt and sodium glutamate in it You know, I'd never wanted to pry for of that gustatory pleasure. Nice guy that I am You know, my dad once told me never trust a guy who insists he's a nice guy Oh and the only sugar I have around the house is what she uses to put in her coffee

[07:57] One cup of coffee four spoons of sugar. That's about right. Well, it's about right for down here. Anyway Well, she's got that and fake mayonnaise and ranch dressing. Did you ever read the label on bottled dressing? Bet you can't there's about ten chemicals on that list with so many letters in them They can't be pronounced by the average human. Oh, and she's got a couple of boxes of sweet cookies and crackers in there and Some of those little hermetically sealed cartons of fake orange juice. So again, you can lead a horse to water The unfortunate thing is that she and so many latin americans of her age. She's about 35 She's overweight and getting heavier all the time. And you know, she was small and kind of petite when I hired her That's what you get when you switch from natural homegrown food when you're young and living in a compo

[08:44] To process and refine junk food when you move to the city. It's really starting to take its toll in families Seems like every latino family I know has a mother or a grandmother who's got diabetes And of course, you can always pick that person out. They're overweight often on the verge of being rotund Yet when I first came down here 30 plus years ago, everyone I mean everyone was skinny Funny thing too. I've been back and forth to the dominican republic You know the drs to the resorts and stem cell clinics and all that and no matter where you go You do see haitians In fact, they're claiming now that one in ten people in the dominican republic is an illegal haitian Sound familiar and isn't it funny even clueless gringo skins spot them out in a second Aside from being much blacker than the average dominican. They're the very skinny ones

[09:31] Though many of them are very lean muscular and have six packs because they work their asses off and they eat Well, mostly produce from the earth while the dominican population is getting fatter all the time The haitians in the country stay skinny and lean. They're not getting fatter And why is that you might ask? Well, that's because the haitians do all the hard grunt work construction digging trenches dry walled roofing and they get paid much less than minimum wage which is around 300 bucks a month minimum wage That is about 300 a month and haitians will take about half that just to get to work Which means they really live on the cheap You know three or four families in one crappy house and when you make that kind of dough You can't afford processed junk food. You gotta eat from the local farmers and growers you eat natural

[10:18] So the haitians living in dominican republic on the whole eat a lot better than the dominicans who can afford to buy all kinds of junk food When dominicans drink coca-cola and presidente beer The haitians drink water while the dominicans eat churros cheetos and pizza and mctonnells The haitians eat rice beans and plantains platanos with the occasional piece of chicken and cheap beef It's obvious just looking at these guys. They're stronger and healthier than the local dominicans So the irony is it's not by choice. They're stronger and healthier It's because they're always broken living on the real fine edge 150 bucks a month Absolutely. No frills life No room for coca-cola and junk food Speaking of why latin americans are always broke. Yeah, that's right. They're always broke

[11:08] Oh, but they're good at putting on the dog when necessary, you know like going out to the clubs or Weekends with the guys out dancing looking for girls, but really i'm here to tell you Almost every latin american. I know is always broke Even the ones that live in gigantic houses and drive Ferraris Even the business guys are always on the edge of not making payroll In fact you longtime listeners heard me mentioned many years ago Of certain rich latinos. I know down here in latin america who are two weeks behind on paying the help That's the quickest way to lose an employee's loyalty And man, one thing you don't want to do is get your help mad at you Because it's well known down here when you get robbed. There's almost always the help or somehow they were in it But if you're good to them, they'll be good to you

[11:55] That's why you'll often hear a wealthy latino say the hardest thing in the world is to fire a gardener a maid or a bodyguard Why because they know everything about you your movements the valuable and not so valuable stuff you have around the house They know when you're gone when you're home when you're going on vacation Of course these days it doesn't take much to know your every move because latinos especially put their every move As well as every meal they eat and practically every crap they take up on social media Anyway, I can vouch for the fact that latin americans are always broke Although they can put on a good front and make you think they're not Pull out a wad of dough when you least expect it. So then why are latin americans so broke? There's lots of reason one is they confuse income with wealth Now the other day my latina girlfriend and I were talking about that. She said when I posed the question

[12:44] What kind of salary would she consider wealthy in latin america? She said a thousand dollars a month, man You got nothing to worry about think about it. That's 12 000 bucks a year Yet in latin america the average person will tell you a thousand bucks a month, man They wouldn't have to worry about a thing Yet at the same time my girlfriend told me everyone she knows who makes a thousand dollars or more a month They've got no savings. They spend it all And for those latinos making two or three or five thousand dollars a month, you know business owners and such According to her and many latin americans. I know rich guys are almost always way behind on their bills, too For example, I know a guy who's an executive at an insurance company. He works in the automobiles claims division He's an executive there. He said johnny you wouldn't believe it. We've got lots of clients who have really nice cars

[13:33] light new or brand new volvos vmw's mercedes tesla's etc Never fails. He said after paying their premium for the first year Sooner or later they fall more and more behind We phone them up to ask where's that payment and they get it in just under the wire And believe me anyone down here in latin america who owns a brand new volvo or bmw Mercedes or tesla they've got to be making at least five grand a month, right? Five grand a month's middle class wages up in the states down here. It's considered super wealthy Which begs the question how many people do you know people making a lot of money? Yet they're stretched to the limit. They don't pay their bills on time. They're always stressed about money Speaking of people making decent money in the states. Here's an article. It says in 2024 a pew survey

[14:21] Found that 48 percent of u.s People earning more than 100 grand a year live paycheck to paycheck with no money in savings at all to fall back on That's 48 percent of people earning more than 100 grand a year in the states Same holds true for 36 percent of people earning more than 200 grand a year in the states 36 percent that's a little more than one in three live paycheck to paycheck with no money in savings to fall back on at all But back to latinos Another reason latinos are so broke is they spend their money on brand names or fake brand names Even people making minimum wage or less will wear clothes with brand names on them Of course, you can bet it's almost all fake and clone stuff, but the brand name means everything You know, it always seemed to me the more gucci and puma nike chanel designer labels, etc

[15:11] People have pasted all over themselves The less I feel like hanging with them because basically their minds in a different place than mine is Not that i'm any better. It's just that I don't think we're going to have too much in common Since i'm not on tick tock or fake book. That means not much to talk about another reason I've found that so many latinos Are broke is they lack financial discipline They buy things based on what their neighbor buys They impulse buy they don't research anything they're going to buy It's not that they don't plan it's that they make stupid plans. Like for example, they'll go into a store Looking for a cell phone tv or refrigerator They'll make the decision on what they buy based on the monthly payment Not the quality the history or the longevity of the item that they're purchasing or even the ultimate price They'll just see it's 18 bucks a month and they'll not be interested in the interest rate or anything else

[16:01] Like the terms or the life of the payment plan. It's just that it's 18 bucks a month Another reason latinos are always broke is they max out their credit cards They generally don't have just one creditor debit card They got a pocket full of them and they only pay the minimum monthly payment Another reason latinos are always so broke is they keep chasing Get rich quick schemes they see on the internet In fact, I can't tell you how many latinos over the years have come up to me and said johnny Have a look at this promotion online. Then they'll show me their phone and it's some guy Talking about how much he's made in some kind of pyramid scheme Of course, it's not advertised as that but you soon realize it is a pyramid scheme I guess calling out a multi-level marketing plan is a kinder Gentler way of saying pyramid scream the thing is though

[16:48] They want to hear the advice that agrees with what they're thinking That's why normally when you give advice to someone down here in latin america, they'll listen, but they won't take it Because even before they spoke to you, they already made up their mind They want you to confirm that their initial thought was correct And when you say uh-uh, it looks kind of fishy to me They still dive in that's why lotteries are so big here in latin america There's a little lot of office on practically every other corner And there are little guys everywhere walking around with wads full of lottery tickets for sale They'll walk past just stick it in your face and tell you how you're gonna be a winner Of course, all the cleaning ladies maintenance guys and grunt workers play lotto I see old losing tickets stuffed in the trash all the time They sell millions of those things today. I've never met anyone who's actually won anything

[17:38] Anything substantial anyway, I mean everyone eventually wins a buck or five or ten or twenty That's part of how they get you hooked the adrenaline rush the serotonin hit Another big reason latinos are almost always broke Is that they don't really have a plan for their future They just seem to kind of stumble through life thinking things are always going to get a little better and they do usually You know how it goes as time goes by you Make a little more money. You get a little nicer apartment a little better car or motorcycle But there's really no fixed plan to it You know how when you were a kid some adult would say to you what are you going to be when you grow up? Let's say you're 13 14 when you get asked that question Well, normally your parents your brothers your sisters or some kind of mentor

[18:25] Has sort of given you some guidance before you even hit 15 And you might change your mind a bunch of times before you decide on a career or a life path But most of us just don't stumble through life waiting for things to happen We all kind of take some initiative ourselves early on sometimes early sometimes late, but eventually along the way I mean, I don't think I know anyone from the states that is who just said i'm just gonna see what happens I'll take things as they come Though i'm sure there are lots of people out there whose life has sort of gone that way Most people I know anyway had a sort of life's direction in high school even back in junior high But latinos man when you ask him that question Most of them just truck and say it's in los manos de dios

[19:10] Which is sort of the universal response to I don't know But it's probably going to be okay because it's in the hands of god But you know thoughts like that that everything's in the hands of god can get you through the day at least for latinos Oh and man, we could talk about latinos when they get their paycheck how they can waste their money You've heard me say many times It's all about putting on the dog down here how a lot of effort is put into looking better or more well off than your neighbor That's why when you're driving through a body or a really crappy neighborhood, you'll always see a really nice house or two somewhere amongst the other shacks Those are houses built courtesy of the remisses coming from a family member two or ten up in the states And you know, you see that situation all the time and it always makes me wonder how come? If you're a family member living in a crappy body or neighborhood a lot of noise a lot of chaos a lot of garbage and pollution

[20:01] Why wouldn't you take that remisa money you're lucky to get every month and move into a better neighborhood? You know move on up and all that but they just don't Well, it took me a while to figure it out It boils down to the fact that it's all about impressing your neighbor that you're doing better than they are Those remisses let you put on the dog for the neighbors You can subtly or not so subtly rub their noses in the fact that you've got a decent car Maybe the only nice car in a ten block radius A house on a hill with a nice garden and a nice paint job Hell if you picked up and moved went to a higher class neighborhood There'd be no neighbors to impress now. I know I know it might sound cynical here, but hey Just come on down and drive through some of the more beat up neighborhoods here and you'll see exactly what i'm talking about Hey, i'm all for cleaning up scruffy neighborhoods

[20:49] The problem is the neighbors don't follow suit. They can't because they don't have the money But carrying on with how latinos waste money. Let me count the ways number one funerals man They got to put on the dog for a funeral and funerals will last for days that's when families go into big time debt over funerals and weddings and Can say annual parties which families sometimes will be paying for for years? Of course, it's pretty much the same up in the states for funerals and weddings You hear stories all the time about people dropping 20 30 or 40 grand on a funeral or a wedding Down here, they don't drop that kind of money because well things basically don't cost that much Not nearly that but still compared to the income of the average latin american They will go all out and borrow money for funerals weddings and can say annuals parties

[21:40] So then how else do latinos waste money on bling man? They love to buy bling and mostly it's gold or silver plated. Not the real thing. They can't afford it But everything still costs right and when there's a party or something you have to show off that new bling But i'll tell you some latinos and latinas have bling drawers that are immense Now one thing that really blows my mind how latinos waste their money on delivery I'm talking about, you know, the motorcycle that comes and delivers pizza hot dogs chicharrones even beer and drinks Man, the delivery thing has just exploded down here every little tienda and supermarket every bar restaurant mcdonald's pizza hut They've got a whole designated section in front of the place for a fleet of motorcycles dedicated to neighborhood delivery

[22:28] Seems to me though that it's kind of an after effect of that kovidiot crap When everything was shut down and people had to stay home All they had was delivery that was the only way some restaurants and bars and corner stores survived Now speaking about wasting money, you know I don't think i've ever been in a house of a rich latino who doesn't have a decrepit jacuzzi I mean really decrepit you'd never want to get into it green scum around it mold So it doesn't take long before the thing just never gets used again. It just sits there One thing i'll never understand is why people buy jacuzzis here in latin america and don't Spend the extra 100 or two to buy a cover for it because you've got the tropical sun

[23:16] Beating down on it every day just bleaching out the fiberglass and basically Uglifying it more and more each day in my estimation. It takes in a new jacuzzi about one year to start looking like shit However, if you spend a hundred or two and get a nice fitted cover It could last and still look good for 10 or 20 years Seems looking ahead is just not in the cards down here Oh and last but not least how latinos waste money is one that just completely baffles me i'm talking about bottled water Yeah, latinos are forever stocking up on bottled water Their tap water has always been shit, you know contaminated Every tourist who's ever been to mexico or south of south of the border knows not to drink the water There's a little sign in every hotel room that says so

[24:02] Hey, that's not to say some latinos don't drink the water from the tap. They do they're very poor people But most people even fairly poor people buy bottled water and big five gallon jugs or gatafones Hey, man, i'll tell you it takes a lot of effort to haul those big five gallon jugs up and downstairs You know, some people live in two three four five-story buildings. They gotta haul that stuff up It's a chore you've got to do every week sometimes every couple days if you've got a family Of course in my book that bottled water isn't all that much better than the tap water. It's contaminated, too At best it's just loaded with nanoplastics because those things sit out in the sun half the day While they're being delivered by trucks in the open air But the public they're just not thinking about that

[24:48] Not a single one has ever heard of nanoplastics never heard once a single latino discuss in it Even though a lot of times people say hmm this water tastes like plastic still Almost all latinos believe bottled water is absolutely pure Says so on the bottle. The question is why don't they just filter the water at home? Why don't they just get a nice under counter or countertop water purifier? Of course, a lot of latinos have caught on in places like salvador and guatemala where they sell that echo filter I've talked about on previous shows those systems start at around 50 bucks Yet in almost all the other latin american countries people just don't bother they buy the bottled water I just don't get it. The paybacks excellent on a home filtration system versus bottled water

[25:33] And if you filter at home, you're absolutely sure it really is pure and you've gotten out all the microplastics too But still the vast majority of latinos do not have home purification systems They buy bottled water and that's generally what you'll be drinking if you go to any restaurant in latin america, too All right. We're getting towards the end of the show now. Let's take an email from achilles. He says johnny You always talking about going to latin america and trying to learn the language Isn't part of moving abroad mastering the language Both of my parents couldn't speak a word of english before they immigrated to the us In fact, my dad was sent back to a us high school to learn better english before they would let him go to college in the us

[26:20] Even though he was 19 or 20 years old at the time By the time I was born in the states Both of my parents could read and write english really well and much better than many of their contemporary native americans It reminds me of how people who speak three languages are trilingual people who speak two languages are bilingual and people who speak one language Are american? All right. Thanks for that achilles I'm thinking you might not be a latino descent with a name like achilles. You might be greek, but you're right I remember when I was in high school They told me to get into any college you had to have at least one year of a foreign language didn't matter which language I took french didn't do me any good at all Talk about some of the dumb things you do when you're young and stupid

[27:08] One of mine was taking french in high school instead of spanish. I had my reasons though I took french because the class was filled with girls Who just adored the french teacher who later turned out to be gay? Meanwhile the spanish language classes were all loaded with mexican who didn't even have to show up except for the tests to get an a So back then the choice was easy was the wrong choice. But hey who knew? You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america If you need some help with your own plan b we can schedule a one-on-one phone or skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week-long expat insider seminar in central america Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan b. Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com

[27:58] No spamos