#1449 – Navigating Traffic and Culture in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you ex-pad wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Alright, here's something you might really want to pay attention to you might even want to take some notes I said that in the last show didn't I? Hmm. Am I repeating myself too much? Maybe oh, well, I'll never know because I never listened to my shows once they're in the can

[00:47] Question is how fast can you drive in Latin America? How fast do you really have to speed before the lazy ass cops actually try to pull you over to give you a ticket? What are the speed limits? What are the particular driving restrictions in major urban centers? Do you wonder when Latin American transit cops give out tickets and they do have quotas, you know What types of cars and drivers might they concentrate on when they're looking to fill that quota? You got to wonder cuz there's so much traffic chaos going on here People are constantly violating traffic laws everywhere you look if you were a transit cop down here, man It would be simply an embarrassment of riches. It's just impossible to stop and ticket everyone, but you knew that already, right? So what's a transit cop supposed to do besides that traffic cops are breaking transit laws themselves all the time

[01:36] Going through red lights riding three on a motorcycle. No helmet riding on sidewalks wrong way down a one-way street They do that stuff all the time. Excellent role models, huh? Anyway today I'm gonna give you the general Latin American traffic laws They apply in almost every Latin country and we'll talk about just what you might expect when you're breaking certain laws We'll talk about the average amount you have to pay when you get fine Yep, we'll get into the weeds on that stuff. So bear with me now Don't go thinking the traffic laws up in the states apply down here because they don't well some of them do but some you'll see Now let's say for example You get caught speeding which generally does not happen at all unless you're in a tourist area because cops generally don't have radars Except in tourist areas you see in tourist areas cops are much better equipped

[02:21] There's more money for things like radar gods, which are profit leaders This might sound cynical but the whole idea is to squeeze the tourists not the locals who of course they can easily spot Because they're driving rented cars and rented cars have particular plate numbers windshield stickers And other identifying marks, you know how Hertz and Avis by fleets of cars that are exactly the same often even the same color Well, they do that because maintenance is much easier. It's easier to stock the parts and do the maintenance For example in Costa Rica for the longest time the majority of rentals were Suzuki sidekicks So be aware of that and of course transit cops and tourist areas know that which is why they spend most of their time Pulling over gringos and expats who've rented a car for a weekend or two

[03:07] They know gringos on vacation will not only pay up They're good for a little extra bonus on Christmas and other holidays when pressured You'll be more than willing to oblige because when you get pulled over by a cop in a foreign country and your Spanish sucks It's a tense moment and you will pay to get the hell out of there Anyway, let's go over some of the general traffic rules and regulation you'll be up against number one If you do get nailed for speeding be nice and don't deny it because you probably were by the way You won't win the argument nor win any friends if you asked to see the reading on the radar gun Don't ask because it won't improve your case. It's no time to get testy I tried that once in Mexico a long time ago didn't help my cause at all You might remember I found out later the radar gun didn't even work I saw it in the trunk of the police cruiser pickup as I was walking by the battery

[03:53] Compartment cover was off and wires were hanging out of it. The case was beat up and broken I could tell they probably dropped it on the ground a hundred times Anyway, if you do happen to be in a tourist area and get pulled over for speeding The usual fine will be around a hundred to two hundred bucks By the way unlike the states here in Latin America The fine doesn't escalate based on how many miles or kilometers per hour you were going over the limit It's usually just one set fine By the way, the transit fines I'm talking about here will be about double or triple in Costa Rica Where the average fine for speeding could be around five hundred bucks And you'll pay it because the transit cops have their computers linked up to the airport So you won't be able to get out of the country without honing up, but you knew that already, right? By the way, that's not true in most every other Latin American country only Costa Rica for now Though I understand as we speak Panama is gearing up like Costa Rica

[04:41] Anyway, as far as general rules of the road on urban roads and municipal highways in Latin America The maximum speed limit is 50 kilometers per hour within city limits That's about 30 miles per hour doesn't seem like much but Latin American cities can get pretty clogged up So you'll find during the day anyway that you'll mostly crawl around at a snail's pace Most of the time you'll be lucky to hit 30 miles an hour though You'll see lots of weaving daredevil idiot motorcyclists whipping through traffic going a lot faster than that But that's another subject those guys rarely obey the normal traffic laws, but you knew that already, right? Alright number two on national and departmental roads You know outside the city limit maximum speed limit in most Latin American countries is 90 kilometers per hour

[05:27] About 55 miles an hour though on the open road You'll see people going a lot faster than that and they won't get pulled over The exception being once again in tourist areas even so locals seem to be able to pull it off But as Gringos and expats should be playing it safe because we stick out like sore thumbs though The interesting thing is if you have an app like waves, which most people use down here, of course down here The cool calm and collected robot lady voice speaks in Spanish Of course, you could switch to English then the robot lady will mispronounce all the Spanish named streets and avenues For example, if the streets name is Calle Simon Bolivar That's Simon Boulevard Street in English The robot lady in English will say in 500 meters turn left on Seaman Boulevard Street

[06:14] And if there is any native Spanish speakers in your car, they'll giggle You might too anyway The nice thing about ways is that the lady will advise you if there's a speed trap ahead In fact, she would advise you if there's any kind of police blockade ahead You'll be advised just like you will be up in the States All right. Number three when you're driving on a rural road, you know, not an expressway The maximum speed limit is 80 kilometers an hour About 50 miles an hour and then we've got those special zones hospital zones schools and residential zones maximum speed limit you'll see signs like that everywhere 30 kilometers an hour or 20 miles an hour But I'll tell you most everyone goes faster than that if the road ahead is not congested They'll go way faster than that and if you do, of course, you're breaking the law

[06:59] But you'll never get pulled over for it again Unless you happen to be in a tourist area like Costa Rica where the transit cops will actually set up Speed traps to and from the airport because they know it's easy pickings for gringo tourists going back and forth By the way, that's why in Latin America You'll see all kinds of speed bumps known as bot dots and tumor lows since people don't obey traffic laws and school and residential and hospital zones are Filled with slow moving pedestrians and kids trying to cross the street since no one obeys the speed laws They erect those nasty speed bumps. Of course, they never put them up preventively they usually wait till a couple people have been killed at that particular spot before they'll erect one and man those speed bumps are Dangerous especially at night They can cause all kinds of damage if you're driving a lowrider

[07:44] If you don't believe me have a look at any one of them, you'll see the paint's all been scraped off the top Now, how do you think that happened? All right. Number five. We're still talking about Latin American speed limits Turns out on a dual carriageway like an auto-pista. That's what they're called down here. Auto-pista You know freeways or superhighways or carrietera carrietera where there are no pedestrian crossings the maximum speed limit throughout Latin America is 120 kilometers per hour that's about 75 miles an hour By the way, you will notice if you're driving down one of these auto-pistas or caratettas, you know, superhighways Especially the ones that have toll booths There will be these overhead walkways called pasa relas Some of them big and expansive metal and concrete jobs to allow people

[08:30] Pedestrians to cross over the highway instead of trying to run across it But some people don't bother because the stairs leading to the walkway can be two or three stories high and most Pasa relas are spaced a long way from each other So what are you gonna do walk a half mile down to the pasa rela or try to sneak across the highway? Amazingly enough you often see young mothers skip the pasa rela and drag their kids across the superhighway So you might ask how does that happen when there's usually a waist high or even higher? cement or steel barrier in the median strip Specifically to stop people pedestrians from making a run for it across the two lanes Sort of forcing people to use the pasa rela, which is infinitely safer The amazing thing is that people will actually bust little passageways through those median strip barriers

[09:17] So that they can take a shortcut and make a run for it across the road and of course Motorcyclists who obey no law they use those gaps to illegally cut across traffic to again It's illegal and dangerous, but no one stops them. No one does anything about it Oh and another thing those speed bumps those two millows when those bulging cement mounds are first constructed They pass across the entire road slowing down everyone who doesn't want to get their guts scrambled But usually within a couple of weeks someone at night comes and chisels away a slot in the center of the two more Allowing those shit for brains Motorcyclists to just whip right on through still no one cares or complains or does a thing about it It just doesn't make sense the two millows there to stop people from blasting through a hospital in the school zone

[10:02] But apparently it's okay for crazy ass Motorcyclists to just whip on through right, but you know fate and karma have their ways of dealing with Motorcyclists just ask any emergency room doc, but I digress but not much by the way that well-known Traffic rule that you must come to a complete stop behind the school bus Well, it has absolutely no meaning or effect down here in Latin America It seems people have never been taught that rule. Meanwhile up in the States you whip past a school bus that's dropping off kids You're looking at a huge fine and you'll probably lose your license. It's so odd down here in Latin America No one even knows that's an absolute traffic No, no, you see down here to stop for a school bus to stop for anything in front of you There are no rules or laws against it. And if there are they're absolutely not enforced

[10:49] But thankfully there is one transit rule that's always enforced When an ambulance has got its cherries flash and people will slow down and pull to the side Which is the decent thing to do and people are on board with it Unfortunately, though when an ambulance is whipping through a bunch of motorcyclists will always crowd behind them Use that ambulance as a shield to advance their way through the traffic total scumbags man cockroaches of the road So anyway, if you're down here in Latin America and keep your eyes open You will probably notice most all ambulances which aren't brand new Have lots of dings bangs and scratches in them. How does that happen? I wonder which brings us to the national Latin American transit laws regarding mobile phone usage while driving Turns out the average fine for getting caught doing that's around a hundred to two hundred bucks

[11:36] But that too as far as I can see is never enforced You can prove that to yourself by pulling up to any busy intersection where the cops are directing traffic Notice how practically everyone's gabbing on the phone and every motorcyclist delivery guys on the phone, too The fact is down here in Latin America almost all Latin American delivery guys are an even worse kind of cockroach Kukaracha they get paid by delivery. So it's kind of piecework. So they're always running red lights and blowing through stop signs They've got their cell phone mounted to her clipped on their handlebars or speedometer with one hand on the handlebars They're gabbing and texting away with the other and right in front of the cops that are directing traffic, too Same thing goes for car and truck drivers stuck at an intersection waiting to pass on through Practically everyone's on their cell phone

[12:23] Especially when stuck in a bottleneck with the transit cops standing right there seeing the whole thing yet Not lifting a finger to stop it both drivers and cops just don't seem to give a shit Except again in gringoized tourist districts it not a coincidence Which brings us to the actual payment of these fines. Well, you know people don't like to pay their fines No one does but down here in Latin America. There is an epidemic of dead beats Why because in most Latin countries your traffic violations are tied to your driver's license Which you renew every four or five years out of sight out of mind for a long long time Where in other Latin countries those traffic fines are linked to the vehicle you were driving when you got the fine Meaning if you're driving someone else's car and you get a ticket you won't be penalized

[13:09] But the owner of the vehicle will somehow that doesn't seem right It will show up though when he tries to renew his circulation his car registration and plate renewal which comes up once a year Thankfully most all Latin countries let you do that at a local bang Which makes life so much easier because just a few years ago You had to make the trek down to a specific government building stand in line for an hour or two Just to get that little sticker that says you had your vehicle registration renewed Which goes to show you there's at least one guy in every Latin American bureaucracy with a half a brain to have figured that out Though it could be that I'm just overly kind here since you could chuck it up to just dumb luck By the way, I don't know if this is the way they do things up in the states But down here in Latin America you get that little sticker Once a year which shows you've paid that year's car registration fee

[13:57] Which could be anywhere from 20 to 50 bucks depends on the size make model and year of your car Small cars pay very little and big old SUVs owned by those macho guys in the micro penis club They pay the highest yearly fees it sort of tracks inversely to penis size small penis big car big fee now Here's the thing when you get that sticker you're supposed to peel off the paper backing and stick it on your windshield So it's very easy to tell how long a car has been driven in a particular Latin American country Just count the number of registration stickers stuck on the windshield because you see people Never take the old ones off and you'd think it's because the Sun just bakes those things right into the window Which is true making them almost impossible to get off

[14:42] But people don't even think about that anyway as we all know the more stickers and logos stuck to a car the uglier And less valuable it is that's why cars as they is get loaded up with things and bangs and stickers and Bible sayings It seems Latinos just don't care But you should because if you're buying a used car here in Latin America You must consider the maintenance issue or lack of it So when buying a used car if it's got no registration stickers on it or very few That means it was just recently imported or driven down, which is a good thing Because chances are if it's a light new car that was just recently driven down or imported from the states Chances are the previous stateside owner took much better care of that car than a Latino ever would does that sound harsh? Well, it's true when Americans buy a new or light new car up in the states

[15:31] They'll have certainly taken it in for the routine maintenance and oil changes, etc. And Latinos man. It's not in their culture It's like going to the dentist. They only go when things get really bad My tip for the day. Don't buy a used car with a bunch of those yearly registration stickers all over the windshield one or two No problem, but five or six forget about it, but I digress again. Where were we? Oh, yeah talking about how to pay those fines Because Latin Americans are noted for being bad in late payers Most Latin American transit bureaus will give you a 50% discount on a fine if it's paid within the first five or ten Business days and some will even give you a 25% discount if you pay the fine within the first month By the way, most Latin American transit departments don't have a point system

[16:16] But the ones that do will force you to take a traffic safety course if you accumulate too many Which is an absolute joke since other drivers on the road Don't obey those rules the average Latino forced to take a traffic safety course just thinks it's a joke Oh and by the way, most Latin American countries will let you drive on your u.s Or other country license for 30 to 90 days depending on the country Which is also pretty much of a joke and not enforced at all unless of course, you're in a heavily gringoized area like Costa Rica Hmm funny how Costa Rica keeps coming up as the exception to the rule on here is a paragraph a law that's written into every Transit cops rule book, but almost no cop has seriously read it or taken it to heart Let me quote here and I'll translate from Spanish. It says now pay attention

[17:05] Transit officers may not ask for your cell phone to see or open what applications you have installed Nor can they ask for residency certificates or passwords of any kind including bank Passwords again, we're talking about transit cops now not the national police They're not allowed to ask you personal questions or search your car without a court order Unless you are in the act of committing a crime Transit cops have no authority to deport anyone and may not accept any payments for anything whatsoever Insert laugh track here then it says transit authorities can immobilize and toll vehicles if there is a risk to public safety Insert laugh track here as well funny how they use that qualifier if it says transit

[17:51] Police can immobilize and tow your vehicle if your documents are out of order or the driver is inebriated It says if they suspect you of committing a crime They can contact the national police or immigration authorities, but they cannot enforce immigration or non-traffic crimes Specifically themselves for this reason often the transit police will have a national policeman on hand Who if they suspect you of a crime can take your phone hmm, so what do you think about that by the way? I've been told by a Latino lawyer that if you're stopped by a transit cop, and there's a national policeman there, too They'll almost never try to hit you up for more Dita a bribe because they're generally not on the same page about it However, if you're stopped by transit cops alone, or the national police by themselves

[18:37] They could lean on you for a little Christmas or holiday gift, especially if you're a gringo tourist So anyway there you have it some of the basic transit laws that apply to almost every Latin country and now that you've been Informed you could pretty much disregard every law you don't much like why not everyone else does all right moving on But on a somewhat similar subject You know people intent on getting the hell out of dodge Often ask me about driving their own vehicle down which of course you know involves driving through Mexico Lindo Beautiful Mexico and over the years in the past decade or so I've had a few guys and gals come down to my expat insider seminar They made that drive through Mexico successfully to Guatemala in fact the guy who drove the longest distance to come down to one of my seminars

[19:22] Was Bitcoin Dan himself he came down from Montreal, Canada Driving a pickup truck and pulling a mobile home trailer Yeah, and he got stopped and extorted a couple times in Mexico in broad daylight at gunpoint Even staying on the main roads the main highways where there was a constant steady flow of traffic But I warned him before he came down. He knew that was gonna happen. So he was prepared each time He was stopped and extorted. He was nice to the guys gave him a few bucks and a computer Yep, Bitcoin Dan was carrying a bunch of old computers in his trailer They looked alright and worked though. They were obsolete. So Dan didn't mind handing him out and the bad guys gleefully accepted Think about it though. That was around 15 years ago and driving through Mexico and Mexico itself has gotten a lot worse since then

[20:09] Which brings us to this email from an expat insider seminar alumnus who finally has all his ducks lined up He's moving down to Guatemala his plan being to drive down though. He's certainly not playing it by ear He's playing this thing out rather well and here in his email. He talks about how he's gonna do it Here's what he's got to say. I'll paraphrase this a bit so as not to reveal too much personal stuff He says hey Johnny. This is mr. D repeat seminar offender If you recall there was another friend I met through this seminar miss H We bought a property together in Guatemala back in 2020 my how time flies He says I'm about to complete the last leg of my exit from the crumbling Empire. It's been a long haul I retired in October and I didn't start to get my Social Security until two months later

[20:58] So I went from having cash flow to none then mr. D says after six winters living in the high desert I vowed that I would not spend another winter in Oregon But as things turns out and how life throws your curve balls I wound up staying at Oregon until the end of March He says I finally got my financial duckies lined up and at the same time exited a toxic relationship Ah, mr. D. I think we've all had a couple of those he says anyway from there I moved to Nevada just outside of Las Vegas stayed there a couple of months to get my paperwork together to get the hell Out doing more purging and throwing out stuff. He says living near Las Vegas. I learned. I'm definitely not a gambler But I did check out the scene happy to leave that toxic environment and temptations that can break your behind

[21:44] Point is Johnny now. I'm in Houston, Texas and about to embark on driving through Mexico Something I thought I would never do The only other option would be to put my van on an 18 wheeler and then fly myself to Guatemala The drawback is that I lose touch with my van and all the things in it and I heard stories of robberies at the border Etc, etc. It's not safe. Even if it sits there just a day or two So I went with an alternate plan turns out I have a friend I met on one of my boots on the ground experiences He made the connections and got the paperwork together and there's no way I could do all this without his help those boots on the ground Connections really do pay off So my new friend from Guatemala who knows somebody who tows cars from the states to Guatemala for a living

[22:31] Well, he says it can be done for $2,500 plus I'll be able to drive through Mexico myself. Here's the game plan I'll have a car hitched to my van as I drive through Mexico. That will cut the cost in half I won't be driving personally. That'll be the guy who does this for a living I'll be in the passenger seat and if any official questions me, I'll just say no hablo español No, speaking Spanish. So the driver who does this for a living will take care of everything He knows where to go and what to do under any circumstances So I got my paperwork together for the border and Some cash for the eventual bribes along the way and once I get to Guatemala the tax I will pay on my van will be anywhere from 1700 to $2,000 to get it licensed there depending on how the immigration officials feel about the contents in my van

[23:22] Hopefully he says it won't be that much. I'll let you know how it turns out But since I am a gambler in some way or another, you know what they say no risk. No reward Anyway, he says along with getting all that stuff lined up I canceled my Medicare and did a huge purge of stuff that made no sense for me to hang on to Got my eyes set on the prize and that'll be Guatemala. See you there Johnny signed. Mr. D ready to get the hell out of Houston Alright, well, thanks for that. Mr. D And of course, we wish you a safe happy and uneventful trip, but you know how these things go though You are absolutely right There are guys making a living driving cars from the states down through Mexico to Guatemala Salvador, etc That's all they do make that trip back and forth and they do know exactly how to handle it

[24:08] That's their life and you got to hand it to them They've worked out a system and you hear almost no bad things happening to them Of course as you can imagine there are lots of palms to be greased along the way, but hey, they got it down though Mr. D just one little caution you probably know this already But I think most of our listeners don't the fact is there are just so many Rattle-trap smoke belching shit boxes on the highways of Central and South America pretty much all Latin American countries now Have passed laws that allow importation of cars and trucks, but there's a limit on the age of the vehicle you can import So mr. D. I don't know how old your van is now Here's what Chad GPT says the age limit on registering a van in Guatemala is not Explicitly mentioned in the available context. However, it is noted that Guatemala limits the age of used imported vehicles

[24:59] to 10 years for cars 15 years for trucks and SUVs and 20 years for commercial vehicles, but nothing in concrete as for vans Therefore it's recommended to check with local authorities or a reputable attorney for most current information. So anyway, mr. D I'm sure you and the guy that's transporting your vehicle knows all that info But for everyone else listening to this show just remember if you're driving down There are age restrictions for bringing in used cars and trucks in every particular Latin country You just have to check with a local Latin lawyer By the way Those age restrictions are a good thing because man when I first got down here Latin America 30 plus years ago now Seems like every other car and every bus and truck was a dirty black smog machine But not now the fact is days even weeks go by when I don't see any smoke blowing out of cars at all

[25:49] Sure, there are big old commercial trucks and chicken buses blowing smoke But as for cars vans and SUVs, I'm sort of amazed at the change It's gotten so much better even though there are many more cars on the road Of course in the very big cities in Latin America like Mexico City Rio Buenos Aires They still have frequent air quality warnings and alternate day driving depending on your license number But you don't see that in the rest of Latin America. Anyway, mr. D. Good luck. See you when you get here Alright before we conclude today, how about some Latin American news that just doesn't make it up to the states Did you know that Bolivia has submitted a request to the World Health Organization to remove coca leaves from its schedule of controlled substances? They're expecting an official decision in October of this year. So what about Bolivia? It's one of the few places in the world with a legal market for coca leaves

[26:36] Commonly chewed as a mild stimulant and packaged for sale in a myriad of ways Which has played a unique role in Andean cultures for millennia Currently worldwide except in Bolivia coca leaves are listed as a schedule one substance in the same category as heroin Methamphetamine and crack what Bolivians are hoping for is that the World Health Organization Bumped down coca leaves to a schedule two or schedule one or remove from the list altogether By the way, I've been to Bolivia stayed at an international hotel chain I think it was Camino real and when you walked into the lobby There was a bowl of coca leaves and cookies and you know the old saying when in Rome. So yes, I tried the cookies Hmm. All right. Let's end the show today with a completely non relevant quote

[27:23] Politics is the only professional in which ignorance is no obstacle to advancement You know who said that Abraham Lincoln was he clairvoyant or what? You've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America If you need some help with your own plan B We can schedule a one-on-one phone or Skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week-long expat insider seminar in Central America Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan B Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com