#1452 – The Expat Files: Language, Culture, and Technology in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now I wonder Hello there all you ex-pad wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Let's start with this email from Josh. He says Johnny going through your past shows I heard you say you call yourself a language dunce You'd talk about how you've been in Latin America for a couple decades and still don't speak 100% fluent. I've heard you say that you're okay

[00:49] conversationally at about 70 or 80 percent But in written correspondence, you're at about a sixth or seventh graders level Join the club Johnny. I know you've mentioned that about yourself because you want to make your listeners feel that it's okay If your Spanish isn't perfect, you'll still get by you shouldn't give up. You should keep on trying. Well, Johnny I'm writing this to tell you I mean exactly the same boat He says I'm in my mid 30s and graduated college almost 15 years ago back Then I took two semesters a full year of college Spanish Because I knew after college. I wanted to take a year off and travel through Latin America Turns out I spent much more than a year there In fact a couple of college friends and I joined the Peace Corps in our senior year We were scheduled to serve in Paraguay and figured that solid year of taking Spanish language courses in

[01:39] University would be a great way to get a head start Well just a couple of weeks into that Spanish course first semester mind you the teacher Took three or four of us students aside and told us that learning a foreign language was much harder for some people than others obviously he was singling us out as Spanish dances term you coined Johnny in the end my little group of language dances passed the course Our professor was a nice guy. He didn't want to screw up our grade points. I thought to myself You know what? I'm gonna show him. I'm better than that. I'm going to Paraguay with the Peace Corps when I come back I'll make a little visit. I'll show him who's the language dunce well Johnny after three years in Paraguay Speaking and listening Spanish almost 24 7. I was still no way from fluent

[02:30] Nor am I now yep. He was right. I am a language dunce I'm not ashamed of it though even though I talk and grunt like a Spanish caveman I still get by with the locals they get what I'm talking about They never call out my bad Spanish or correct me and always not as if they're getting it all and I know they're not Eventually when I repeat myself a couple of times or rephrase something in a different way They eventually get it and I don't have to apologize They certainly appreciate the effort because they don't know much English Thankfully the majority of Paraguayans and for that matter most all Latin Americans are friendly forgiving and eager to engage In Paraguay, there aren't many gringos at all So people are glad to engage with your Spanish grunts and stutters sign Josh a language dunce who made good

[03:18] PS without my faltering Spanish. I would have never met my beautiful Paraguayan wife Well Josh, thanks for that and let that be a lesson tell you guys and gals out there who feel bad that your Spanish sucks Don't throw in the towel not just yet though the disturbing trend that I see these days are those Translation apps. It's a double-edged sword It's sad to see gringos and expats are leaning so much on those apps because you just talk right into them, right? You get an instant translation problem is it's like what happened when? Calculators hit the mass market. No one can add subtract or multiply in their head anymore Even college kids and waitresses at Starbucks. They don't even know basic multiplication tables Anyway, I'm seeing that everywhere gringos and expats leaning on those translation apps

[04:06] And not really having to put it in any effort at all to learn Spanish man I remember the promise of those translation apps before they came along us gringos and expats down here We're just chomping at the bit to get one when they finally came along and they were so bad Not anymore. They're pretty much flawless and AI man It's so good these days if you write a letter in English business letter Whatever and you tell AI to translate it into Spanish man the translation syntax Everything is absolutely perfect often tweaked up a little better than a letter you actually wrote Of course, that can be a very good thing in business Especially if you're corresponding with someone who doesn't speak English even so if you send them a letter in English They're gonna run it through an AI translator in Spanish The world is changing so fast and though at first glance You might think it's a great thing that AI and translator apps

[04:53] They do make communication with Latinos so much easier though. It comes at a price laziness Don't ever forget that learning a second language becoming bilingual or Kinda sorta bilingual is very very good for the brain last study I read the average bilingual person staves off Alzheimer's by four years there have been lots and lots of pretty good studies lately on cognitive decline and the bilingual group delayed Alzheimer's by About four years compared to similar groups who spoke just one language Oh and another thing if you're just a little bit bilingual at least you'll be able to Figure out what people are saying about you in the elevator and what you're cleaning lady might be saying about you behind your back though Normally, it's nothing sinister. It's usually all good unless of course you're a jerk to your help

[05:41] Which normally isn't the case for gringo's next pets down here. In fact, it's just the opposite Most of us end up spoiling our help I'm always hearing local Latinas and Latinos saying they'd a much rather work for a gringo than a latino Why because down here in Latin America, there's a pretty rigid class system Something that we're just not used to seeing up in the state down here cleaning ladies and maintenance guys are sort of second-class citizens Once a cleaning lady always a cleaning lady That's why so many Latin American employers talk down to their help often acting like they're not even there I've seen that happen myself Especially when you're in the home of a wealthy or upper-class latino fam I've been in situations when I've seen wealthy latino owners of a house Have an argument or say something nasty or degrading directed at the help the poor cleaning lady or maintenance guy

[06:30] I've seen the man or the woman of the house. Usually the woman rip into the help right in front of company, man That's something you never want to do scold an employee in front of people if you have to correct them or reprimand them for anything Always always do it in private Believe me The last thing you want to do is to get your help pissed off at you never forget They know lots and lots about you because they're around you and your house all the time And if you piss them off or make them feel shitty in front of people Well, you know, some people get their revenge in the end. They have a way of getting even so always always try to maintain A good relationship with your help However, I'm not saying you should be so close as to be friends. I mean you have to keep your distance You must try to maintain that employer employee distance or they'll lose respect for you That should always be maintained after all when you hire someone to be your maintenance guy or cleaning lady

[07:21] It's a business transaction Now I've said about that speaking of wealthy entitled upper-class Latinos who are extreme gringo wannabes man, sometimes when you see the extremes that gringo wannabes go through it makes you cringe if you recall on the last show I Mentioned I had a really good boots on the ground story for you Wow a shocker Specifically about a husband and wife pair of extreme gringo wannabes now as you longtime listeners Know many times newbie gringos and expats even gringos and expats who've been down here a while They'll be looking at houses or condos and properties and they'll phone me up After they've narrowed down their search and asked me to do a final look through or an inspection of a property before they put A bin on it man over the years. I must have done that favor at least 20 times

[08:08] So anyway about a year ago a gringo expat buddy of mine phoned me up and he said Johnny I found a really nice house in the DR the Dominican Republic that I'm thinking about putting a bid in Would you come and look at it with me first? He said I been through it a couple of times and I think they're desperate to sell He says I hope the lowball it because they're sort of in a hurry to get out I said, well, what do you mean? He said it's owned by a couple in their late 30s No kids and the guy it turns out is an executive for Nestle's and he's just got transferred to Mexico City And they have to get out. They've got a deadline. He said would you do a walkthrough with me before I put a bid on it? Looks great to me, but there might be something I'm not picking up on you're an engineer. You've built a few houses You've got an eye for that sort of thing. Can you help me out? So yes about a year ago

[08:55] I went to the DR and did a walkthrough with my buddy so it was me my buddy the realtor and The two owners of the house the 30 something guy and gal the first thing I noticed they were extreme gringo wannabes It looked like they had a lot of dough or a lot of debt You never know with Latinos because first thing as I walked through the garage I noticed the girl the lady had a late model Jeep Cherokee Nothing unusual there But the guy her husband get this had a jet black Porsche 911 Which is by the way a very nice car But one of the stupidest purchases you could ever make here in Latin America because it's so damn low to the ground That was my first clue. They were extreme gringo wannabe then we walked into the house and guess what? He's got two maids. Not one, but two wearing

[09:43] Humiliating maids uniforms. You remember in a past show I told you when you go into any big supermarket down here even a Walmart in the aisle where you buy detergents mops and cleaning stuff They always have a rack of those typical maids outfits. You'd see in those movies in the 50s and 60s, you know Oh and of course in those porno fetish films where a girl in a short tight maids outfit is an object of desire Anyway upon entering the house. I spotted two maids Oh, and I forgot to tell you as we walked up to the house. There was a ring camera You know what that is, right? One of those famous Amazon doorbell ring camera that sends all its data back to the cloud And as you know, it's been recently hacked So as you're out and about with your smartphone and someone comes to your front door and rings the bell

[10:28] You can talk to them as if you were inside the house problem is all that dad has been hacked You've probably been reading about that I have anyway I'm bringing that up because that's one of the things the owner pointed out He was so proud of the fact he had a ring camera at the front door just like an upscale gringo would have you know Mr. High-tech gringo wanna be bragging to two gringos me and my gringo buddy that he was hip to high-tech, too He was just so pleased as punch to point that ring camera out to us and I said, you know I wouldn't have one of those things. They're basically spying on you Haven't you read about how those things are constantly being hacked? Well, but the guy and the lady of the house looked at me and said nothing But that look I still remember that look like get that gringo out of here before he nixes the deal Anyway, as we were walking through the house

[11:15] I noticed all the main rooms had one of those little Alexa modules, which again the owners proudly pointed out to us Then he started talking to it told it to play a song and the song came right up on the radio and I said once again You know, I would not have one of those they're spying on you 24-7 at that point The Latina realtor kind of looked at me sideways, too Man, I'm telling you these guys were super gringo wannabes That's the first time ever walked into a Latino house with Alexa modules everywhere Well, there's nothing that shouts extreme gringo wannabe more than that Next thing we walked into the guy's office. He had a little office in that house It was just loaded with all kinds of sports trophies. Oh and I forgot to tell you this guy was super Fit man, perfect body six-pack the works. Oh, and when he answered the door, everything was wearing was Adidas

[12:05] He was in his workout duds and they were expensive looking at his trophies. I realized he spent all his childhood and adolescence Competing in sports and he was really good at it Then we walked into the master bedroom and a Lexus module there, too And I noticed a little security camera on the nightstand He said I've got that camera there four cameras outside and the ring camera I said just one camera indoors and it's in your bedroom. He said yeah He keeps the help on their toes next we went into a very big bedroom with an ocean view It was turned into a gymnasium man. He had like five expensive pieces of equipment in there It was obvious. He was no slouch. They had some wear and tear out him Oh and in the living room on the coffee table, he had a bunch of illustrated coffee table books You know the kind no one reads they were all in English same with a bookshelf

[12:53] He had in the hallway almost all the titles in English and believe me I knew it was all for show because neither of them spoke English very well one thing I know for sure if you don't speak English very well, you certainly don't read or write it very well It's a big chore same thing with Spanish if you don't speak Spanish very well, you'll never read a book in Spanish I know that from personal experience. My Spanish is alright. It's like I said 70 or 80 percent But still I have a rough going when reading through a book. That's purely in Spanish Oh sure, I can eventually trudge through a book in Spanish, but there's no possible way I'd ever read one for pleasure Same goes in reverse for English like in that house all the English books and such were for show You know, I've been down here a long long time I know lots of upscale Latinos and even the ones that speak English really well almost none of them

[13:43] Read books in English for pleasure. It's just drudgery and there's no pleasure in that they'll come right out and tell you So with those books in English on the coffee table and those English books on the bookshelf all for show Extreme gringo wannabe syndrome all the way now Of course with me and my buddy being pure gringo the owners of the place tried to communicate as best they could in English But I could tell it was rough going Anyway, one of the maids brought around a tray of coffee and we sat in kibbitz for a bit And of course, they dropped a few important Latin American names that gringles and expats Don't give a damn about and they went on a bit about all their shopping trips back and forth to my jammy and Nueva York You know that's something you'll have to put up with every time you sit down with a bunch of Latinos Who have the resources to take a vacation here and there out of the country?

[14:29] I mean really how many times do you have to listen to someone tell you about this boring trip to Disney World? My jammy or Manhattan. I learned a long time ago. You don't say things like I can't stand in the world It's a joke. That's no way to make friends in Latin America. You play nice You don't interrupt them you bite your tongue. So anyway, that's how it went. Oh one more thing He had to show me his liquor cabinet big cabinet to stock with all the liquors Latin Americans I think are the tits of the Ritz all the stuff They think gringos would have in their liquor cabinet Jack Daniels Johnny Walker black again He was trying to impress us gringos as to how gringoized he and his wife were it didn't work because only Latinos care about that stuff Us gringos unimpressed. No big deal. Anyway, that's how it went And when it was all over I said to my buddy put in a lowball offer. See what happens

[15:16] He did and he got the place now. Remember that was about a year ago All's well that ends well, or so you would think anyway, I got a phone call from my buddy about two weeks ago He said Johnny next time you're in the DR. Yeah, just have to look me up. He said I got something to show you so Making a recent stopover in the DR. I went over to the guy's new house Remember I haven't been in that thing for a year Anyway, I walked into the place and it's almost exactly as it was one year ago It turns out the guys sold it completely furnished My buddy said that was the teaser when they came to a stalemate on the price The guy threw in everything easy for him to because he got Relocation expenses from Nestle's when they transferred him to Mexico City Anyway, the guy left everything including those coffee table books in English all the expensive booze in the liquor cabinet the Jimmy equipment

[16:08] The elect says the cameras the ring doorbell all the appliances Jacuzzi on the terrace beds lamps towels everything and I thought man What a great deal for my gringo, buddy Because really what's it cost to furnish a big house these days for a three or four bedroom house gotta be 25 grand, right? Unless you're buying all Chinese crap or junk at a Kia Oh, and I forgot to tell you this guy's kitchen has real nice marble and the bathrooms are real marble, too Not tile that looks like marble. I'm talking about slabs of marble So anyway when I met my gringo buddy at the house He said Johnny after I moved into the place, of course, the guy disconnected his internet service and I had to get my own That's normal. Everyone who moves to a brand-new house or apartment goes through that Then he said the cameras in the surveillance system were a couple years old

[16:57] They were 2k cameras and of course today you can get 4k even 8k cameras hundred bucks apiece if they're on sale He said so I got rid of the old ones and upgraded and a four or 8k four camera system complete with the cables NVR recorder complete cost him only 600 bucks Amazon, of course Anyway, my buddy who's a normal gringo not a techie nerd He pulled down the other four cameras bought a 4k camera system hooked the system up to a monitor Then downloaded the app for his phone so that he could look at the camera shots anywhere he is in the world He said the odd thing though was that little camera that was in the guy's bedroom You know the one he said was there to keep his cleaning ladies honest Keep them on their toes Well, it turns out that camera was completely different from the other 2k cameras

[17:43] He had mounted outside and that funny little camera wasn't mounted permanently It was just sitting on the nightstand And then he reached into a box and pulled out that camera and handed it to me Tiny little thing to almost look like a toy At first, I thought it was one of those fake cameras You know the ones people used to put up a long time ago before they could afford a camera system You could put a fake one up people would think hey i'm being monitored Remember those fake cameras with no electronic guts inside? I know those things quite well because way back when around the year 2000 I bought a few and put them around my house in guatemala again just to keep the cleaning ladies on their toes. Anyway My gringo buddy handed me this little camera. I looked on the side of it and the model number was ZS-GX3S I'll give that to you again

[18:31] ZS-GX3S He said did you ever see one of these before? I said nope He said look at this and he went to his computer screen punched in the model number It came up on youtube with a nice three-minute demonstration My friend said johnny you have to watch this so we did turns out this thing is very small But almost all of it is a lithium battery It's got a little hidden slot in the back to recharge it It can film and broadcast it by wi-fi for three to six months on one charge It's a 2k color camera too. So for inside quality video, it's not half bad So we watched that video and I said so what obviously the previous owner Had his smartphone connected to this thing and would check in once in a while to see what was happening in his bedroom Then my buddy said yeah

[19:18] But check this out. He pulled up another youtube video on this thing turns out There's a hidden mini sd card slot He said look at this and he pulled away at a tiny silicon square Behind that a little sd card slot. He popped out a little sd card a card that held 32 gigabytes He shoved it into a slot on his computer and he said look at this And he pulled up a list of files that had been recorded on that little hard drive I couldn't believe it. There were hundreds of files. Each one of them had a recording date A file for each day starting in late 2021 all the way through the moment The previous owner sold the house and canceled his internet service in mid 2024. Anyway, john He says you're not going to believe this that camera was automatically programmed for motion detection

[20:05] Every time there was motion it would take a 10 to 30 second video and store it on that card Along with the date and the time it was recorded Turns out there was a daily record of everything happening in that bedroom for the last four years And in each archive folder for the day there were maybe 50 or 60 different 10 to 30 second videos Each one triggered to record when there was a movement My gringo friend said johnny. I was so curious. I downloaded all of it. I watched all four years of those videos Took me quite a few hours even at five times normal speed I said no shit. Tell me the highlights. What do you got? He said early in the morning The couple would get dressed and go to work and later in the day maybe two or three times the cleaning lady would come in

[20:51] Act really busy because she knew there was a camera there and sometimes she'd look right into it But at night johnny at night now, honestly, he said they weren't like a wild and crazy couple It's pretty hard to believe he says but here's this young 30 something couple good-looking the guy works out all the time So he's got the body of adonis yet. Johnny. You won't believe this. They never once had sex They never kissed. They never even touched each other They would just lay in bed watch tv or I would say he watched tv It was always sports always sports sports sports sports sports And she occasionally would sit on the other side of the bed with her laptop open Both texting away on their iphones every chance they could get too, but they almost never spoke to each other I said really man. That's so hard to believe

[21:39] He said I know they never even got mad at each other never once raises their voices Oh, yeah, that camera recorded audio too. Oh, but he said they have a dog and it would come in and sleep on the bed with them They'd pet the dog a bit and play with them, but never talk or play with each other weirdest thing i've ever seen Where's sigmund froyd when you need him four years of nighttime video and no physical interactions whatsoever Then my gringle buddy said watch this and started scrolling through those video archives Sure, they were in their own bedroom So almost every night they'd be walking around naked slip into their jammies and get into bed Not even a peck on the lips and this went on for four years My gringle buddy showed me the highlights and since i'm no sigmund froyd. I said, what do you think's going on there?

[22:26] Maybe it's just a marriage of convenience too wealthy kids Tying the knot living like brother and sister or maybe they've got an open marriage an agreement to play around who knows Well, they're sure not playing around with each other. Maybe he's gay. Maybe she's gay Maybe neither of them have any kind of libido though. They never once brought anyone home or into the bedroom anyway So anyway, all that's open to speculation and who really cares, right? Well, here's why you listeners should care It's obviously the case that those extreme gringle wannabes who sold the house to my buddy Neither of them ever read the instructions on that camera Neither of them even watched a three minute youtube showing all the functions of that thing Just think about it four years of video clips on that sd card and it's connected to wi-fi and the cloud through the internet. So

[23:13] Anybody with the password or a decent hacker could download that stuff and destroy their lives I mean look if I or my buddy were a bad guy or just pranksters We could upload that stuff on the internet. They'd die of embarrassment or worse I mean look they're spending all kinds of time nude in front of that camera And remember this guy is some kind of executive working at nessly Imagine if the wrong guy a prankster a hater or even a narco extortionist gangster or just a cleaning lady bent on revenge We're talking about an excellent means of extortion here. We're not talking about anonymous dick pics We're talking about full body nude videos. Now, of course, they're not touching each other doing anything at all But i'm sure you can see in the wrong hands a lot of damage could be done That could have a devastating effect on the guy's career The point is be very careful of this shit

[23:59] You got connected to wi-fi and you know a lot of the 4k smart tvs these days have a built-in camera And when you first set them up If you want to get all the bells and whistles get it hooked up to a lexus and all that You'll have to give them the email address and click the box saying you agreed to all the conditions Which no one ever reads but in effect says they own all your data and everything you save in the cloud And have control of your tv's camera too. So then you might ask what's next? What's my gringle buddy gonna do with this little incriminating sd card? Well, he's an honorable nice guy. He's never gonna do anything dirty with it. But man, what a cautionary tale, huh? By the way, did you know that almost all security cameras that are 4k or better most all have a little hidden sd card slot

[24:44] You might ask why is that when most home and commercial camera systems are connected to an nbr With the big two four or six tetra byte security hard drive installed in it that continuously records Everything the camera sees four days two depending on how big the hard drive is well The reason why most of your high definition 4k cameras have a little hidden sd card slot is because bad guys Housebreakers and thieves when they see surveillance cameras They know if they get that nvr device and disable it pull the wires and run with it Then there's no recorded history of the break-in Meanwhile those hidden little sd card slots in those high-end cameras are continuously recording everything Long-term too for days at a time So if the bad guys steal the nvr device or destroy it each camera has stored all recent videos in that card

[25:37] Which is exactly what happened in the case of my gringle buddy Who found such an sd card hidden in that little camera in the bedroom? By the way, just a little tip here since i've set up many many security camera system Tip number one never have one of those cameras in your house Why for obvious reason mostly because after a while people tend to forget they're there Let down their guard do things and say things they never want to do in public or put out on the internet Number two if you buy a security camera system, make sure the cameras have a built-in alarm Yep The better ones have a built-in alarm That means if you're alerted on your phone that the motion detector picked up something and you find in checking the camera out on your phone You see someone's breaking in just hit a certain button on your phone and every one of your cameras will blast out

[26:23] a piercing wailing sound I know I know some of you are thinking what good is that going to do? Remember in the old days when everybody had a car alarm and when those alarms went off after a while you got so used To hearing those sounds you just didn't pay any attention anymore So yes, that was true for car alarm But believe me the alarms in cameras are a completely different thing Plus most high-end security cameras now have a spotlight built into them So once you've set them up for motion detecting that means if someone an animal Whatever goes past your camera at night a nice bright spotlight will come on You'll get instantly notified through your phone app Then you have a look see and decide whether you're going to hit the alarm or not Anyway, you've got lots of options with these new security systems Just watch the youtube setups to make sure they're not spying on you

[27:09] Oh and by the way at that house My buddy opened up a drawer in the bathroom and it was filled with women's products for bleaching and lightening your skin Also a sure sign of an extreme gringo or gringa wannabe. All right We're at the end of the show now and before we go, do you ever wonder why doctors wear gloves? Of course, you know the obvious answer, but did you ever consider it might be because they don't want to leave any fingerprints? You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america If you need some help with your own plan b we can schedule a one-on-one phone or skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail dot com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week-long expat insider seminar in central america Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan b. Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com

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