Episode Summary
In this episode, Johnny Mueller discusses his approach to travel safety and comfort, particularly focusing on the use of Swiss army knives. He critiques the trend of overpacking with unnecessary gadgets, emphasizing the importance of simplicity and utility. Johnny suggests opting for the cheapest Swiss army knife with a corkscrew, as it is practical and avoids the excess features of more expensive models. He also highlights the usefulness of the precision scissors that often come with these knives, which are more durable than other alternatives. Additionally, he touches on the topic of insect repellent, noting that it is not always necessary in certain regions of Latin America, such as the Alti Plano, but can be important near rivers, jungles, and forests.
In this segment, Johnny Mueller discusses the challenges of dealing with insects in Latin America, particularly for tourists and backpackers. He highlights the common issue of insect bites and the ineffectiveness of natural remedies like garlic. He recommends DEET-based products, especially Repel 100, which is highly effective and preferred by expats and archaeologists working in the region. Johnny also mentions that locals, despite living in conditions that expose them to various infections, have similar life expectancies to people in the first world, attributing this to their diet and the antibacterial properties of chili peppers.
In this segment, Johnny Mueller provides practical advice on packing and securing valuables while traveling. He emphasizes the importance of using Ziploc freezer bags to store items like sunblock and creams to prevent leaks during travel. He also suggests carrying ear swabs and using rubber bands to roll up the bags for compact storage. When discussing hotel room safety, he highlights the difference between first-world and local hotels, noting that the latter often have simpler, less secure metal safes. He recounts an experience where a digital safe was easily opened by a hotel employee using an electronic gadget, which led him to question the security of such safes. He advises travelers to avoid storing expensive items in hotel safes and instead use money belts or dry pouches for better security.
In this segment, Johnny Mueller discusses the importance of being cautious with valuables while traveling, especially in Latin America. He emphasizes that carrying large amounts of cash, gold, or expensive items like diamond rings and Rolex watches is risky and often unnecessary. He warns against leaving valuables in hotel safes, especially if they are left open or accessible to staff, as this increases the risk of theft. Johnny also shares a personal anecdote about a hotel in Roatan where the safe was left open and accessible, highlighting the danger of such situations. He then offers practical advice on how to hide valuables in a hotel room, such as using electrical outlets or light switches to create hidden compartments. He also mentions the importance of using gloves to avoid electric shocks when accessing these hidden spaces.
In this segment, Johnny Mueller discusses practical techniques for securing valuables in hotel rooms, particularly in regions with high theft rates. He explains how to use gloves to pack items into wall safes, emphasizing the importance of this method in places like the Middle East and Africa. He also shares a humorous anecdote about expat Eddie's experience with a hotel room safe and his tendency to kick malfunctioning machines, highlighting the cultural norms in Latin countries regarding patience and behavior in public spaces.
The podcast segment recounts a humorous and chaotic story involving Eddie, an expat in Panama, who faces a series of comedic and absurd situations. Eddie loses his hotel key and attempts to retrieve his safety deposit box by physically removing it from the wall, which he succeeds in doing. The story highlights the absurdity of the situation, the cultural context of expats in Latin America, and the lack of proper security measures in some hotels. Johnny Mueller, the host, uses this story to make a broader point about hotel security and the experiences of expats in the region.
Topics
Travel safety and comfort, Swiss army knife utility, Overpacking and unnecessary gadgets, Insect repellent in Latin America, Effectiveness of natural remedies, DEET-based products, Local health and immunity, Travel tips for expats, Travel packing tips, Hotel room safety, Security of valuables, Use of Ziploc bags for travel
Chapters
00:00:00 Opening 00:00:35 The Need for Practical Travel Gear 00:00:45 The Evolution of Travel Gear 00:00:56 The Problem with Over-Featured Travel Tools 00:05:41 The Vulnerability of Tourists to Insect Bites 00:08:32 The Effectiveness of DEET-Based Products 00:10:12 The Health of Locals in Latin America 00:10:29 Packing Essentials for Travelers 00:11:23 Hotel Room Safety and Security 00:17:00 The Dangers of Leaving Valuables in Hotel Safes 00:18:35 How to Hide Valuables in a Hotel Room 00:19:38 Different Story About Valuable Storage 00:19:40 Using Gloves for Safe Storage 00:19:44 Packing Valuables into Gloves 00:19:48 Securing Jewelry and Coins 00:19:52 Pushing Items into Wall Safes 00:19:55 Insulation and Safety in Wall Safes 00:20:00 James Bond-Inspired Techniques 00:20:04 Real-World Use of Techniques 00:24:07 Eddie's Initial Problem with the Machine in the Mall 00:24:24 Eddie's Interaction with the Security Guard 00:24:44 The Crowd's Reaction to Eddie's Actions 00:25:02 Eddie's Problem with the Hotel Key 00:25:41 Eddie's Success in Removing the Safety Deposit Box 00:26:32 Eddie's Confrontation with the Hotel Manager 00:27:13 Johnny Mueller's Commentary on Hotel Security
Transcript
Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.
[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wonder My thoughts ever straight Hi everybody I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files Living in Latin America the show that tells you what it's really like to live work play and or retire in Latin America I tell it just like it is so let's get started Okay today I'm gonna continue on Talking about what I use to keep myself safe and comfortable when I travel and I'm going through all this stuff by Popular demand because I get emails about it all the time now I have to mention that for a long time the first three or four years when I'd left the states for good
[00:49] I just over packed and carried way too much crap all the time and that's kind of like the occupational hazard for the novice traveler For example these days everybody's got a Swiss army knife or an equivalent That's way too big bulky and therefore expensive and it's got way too many attachments Junk that the normal person wouldn't use in a million years even if he was on safari in the Congo Have you looked at those Swiss knives and their competition lately? I think sometimes this gimmicky travel stuff is more about the coolness factor than actual utility I mean, whatever happened to basic these Swiss army knives now come in candy colors and transparent colors and titanium And they've got attachments that well I don't know what they're for even expat Eddie got sucked in when he bought his last one He paid more than a hundred bucks for his and I'll tell you he's got some scary looking attachments on that thing
[01:39] In fact when he's got that thing wide open with all the pointy scary things sticking out It reminds me of my proctologist examining room and for you ladies out there who can't relate think of the movie saw one two and three and Here's my suggestion and what I do I buy the cheapest Swiss army knife that has a corkscrew built into it and that models just called the tourist And it's only about 20 bucks now the reason why I mentioned you should get the cheapest one That's got a corkscrew in it is not because you're using it to open wine bottles all the time Though you might if you're down in Chile and Argentina where the wine is great and dirt cheap Anyway, when you buy the most basic Swiss army knife with a corkscrew in it one That's not loaded down with extra junk and a lot of frills that guarantees that it'll be nice and streamlined and small
[02:27] Though you'll still have to give it up permanently to Homeland Security if you're flying anywhere through the states So don't try taking it with you in the cabin put it in your stowed luggage But guess what when you're flying through Latin America, no one gives a damn, but that's another story We'll talk about some other time. Anyway, I say go basic on everything you carry But I have some friends who say Oh Johnny You got to get a Swiss army knife with at least a light on it And why not step up to the one with a compass or better yet the one with the 20 power magnifying lens and the GPS and A compass or better yet one with the GPS now, that's gotta come in handy Well, guess what all you chronic overpackers out there every cell phone and car key these days has a light on it And they're sticking GPS is on all those toys, too
[03:14] So who needs to double and triple up on that stuff and where does it end? Why not get the one with a spoon the hacksaw the mini eggbeater the espresso maker and the nose hair trimmer you think I'm exaggerating, right? Well when expat Eddie told me that you could get a high-end Swiss army knife for 1,500 bucks and that's what no special titanium case or anything Just the red typical Swiss army knife. Look well that lost that bet with him because he showed me that knife on the internet He's right 1,500 bucks you can get carried away with that stuff I mean, I know one expat who's got a seven hundred dollar pair of hiking boots You know the kind of guys I'm talking about don't you the guys that always seem to slip in the price of things? They own into the conversation, you know
[04:01] anyway The most useful part of any kind of knife like that whether it's a Swiss one or any other brand It's not the knife part itself. It's that little precision scissors that comes with it You'll use that thing over and over when you travel and speaking of car keys I always recommend that you get one of those little Swiss army knife keychain models They only run around 15 bucks and you'll use that thing all the time and your best bet is to select the smallest cheapest one available that has that little scissors built into it because I tell you there's no better or more durable little scissors than the One built into any Swiss army knife. Those things are practically indestructible And by the way, you could buy a cheap Swiss army knife made in China or India, too But ironically, it won't be a Swiss army knife then it'll be a Chinese or Indian Swiss army knife
[04:48] Go figure whose big idea that was and it'll probably break rust or fall apart after a few outings But you know junk like that is a great decoy to have in your decoy fanny pack, which we'll be talking about later So stay tuned for that Okay, so what else do you need in your travel bag of tricks? Well, you have to have some insect repellent and it's not like insects are attacking you all the time Sometimes they're never around for example in my favorite places in Latin America the Alti Plano Those are plateau regions about 3,000 to 8,000 feet above sea level I've talked about those regions before but I didn't mention that these are not places where you find a lot of bugs But they are around when you're next to rivers and jungles and forests even in the Alti Plano areas
[05:36] but not anything like down in the coastal regions or at sea level and It seems their favorite spots to attack are your legs and feet and what do gringos and backpacker tourists usually wear when they're trekking Around through places unknown shorts and open sandals, of course, duh And there's no surer way to ruin your vacation Except for maybe getting a real bad case of sunburn your first day out on the beach Then to have about 20 bug bites on each leg the first or second day out Ask any backpacker they've all been through it and you know, no matter what the green folks in the New Agers say There's no real good natural insect repellent that I've ever seen except for the garlic thing It really does work You know if you overdose on garlic every one will hate you bugs included
[06:24] Oh and don't worry when you're off the tourist trailer You'll still have that gringo advantage going for you But only when you operate at a distance and I'm not saying those other natural remedies don't work at all either I'm sure a lot of that stuff works quite well up north But down here in Latin America where the bugs are man-sized fearless and very hungry forget about it I'm no big fan of deets, you know, DEET DEET I know it's a nasty chemical but it's about the only thing I've seen that works down here And even your regular insect repellent off in that orange can It does have some DEET in it But when the bugs are around it only works about a half an hour down here And that deep woods off in the yellow or green can Which is promoted as regular off on steroids
[07:10] When you're at sea level at dusk and you're near a forest, a beach, or a river Deep woods off is pretty weak All it is is regular off with a little more DEET in it That stuff will only work for an hour or so And forget about the lotions and those DEET impregnated handy wipes and stuff Sure they work but they're sticky and uncomfortable and they always stain your clothes Besides you got to touch those things and your fingers get saturated So think about that Next time you want to eat a snack when you're out exploring And please don't tell me you don't use your fingers to eat when you're out on vacation I've yet to see a single tourist eat a bag of potato chips with surgical gloves on you know But back to the point And another thing you always want to travel light That should be a basic rule for everything you carry in your kit
[07:56] For example in the case of bug spray You don't want to bring a six or an eight out spray can like your regular can of off It takes up way too much room You want something much smaller than that so it's convenient And there's this product that a lot of long-term expats The ones that live near jungles and lakes and streams They talk about it all the time It's called Repel 100 And you can get it in very small one ounce bottles Which is a perfect little size so unobtrusive And you could get a four ounce size too But my advice stick to the one ounce jobs And this stuff's called Repel 100 Because it's got 100% DEET So this stuff is like industrial moonshine DEET Very strong And it really works and you don't have to use much at all
[08:43] One spray will last you all day or all night And it runs five to ten bucks depending on which size you get And I recommend you buy a six pack of the one ounce jobs Just to have a few extras But you only have to carry one at a time I mean they're really small And let me just add that I know a few archaeologists Working on Mayan digs down here who use that stuff and swear by it How do you think I found out about it? So what better recommendation can you have than that? And these guys don't like nasty synthetic chemicals any more than you or I do They're the enlightened scientific tree hugging type So if there was a better more natural way they'd use it And by the way even they skipped the garlic And these guys are sweating it out 24-7 in the jungle Oh and another thing people often ask me
[09:30] What do the locals use? You know the guys that make 200 or 300 bucks a month What do they use to repel the insects? The answer? Nothing And you know they just don't complain about it either And I've asked this question to local doctors And they told me that most of the indigenous people in Latin America Have great immunity to the local diseases But they do have low level blood and skin and organ infections going on all the time Because they live in houses with dirt floors Drink tap water Eat with their fingers And don't have the opportunity to take many baths And even after that day in and day out exposure to all that bacteria and crud They still have just about the same life expectancy as a first world person Go figure Doctors down here claim it's because of the fruits the vegetables
[10:17] And that bactericidal and anti-parasitic effects of all that chili pepper Okay let's get back to what I use in my travel kit Now regarding carrying corrosive things like bug spray And even sunblock or any creams or liquids at all Which obviously are going to get stored somewhere in your fanny pack backpack or luggage somewhere I always put the bottles in a Ziploc freezer bag And burp the air out of it of course before you seal it Because no matter how nice and organized you pack Your suitcase and backpack are going to get bounced around And if those things leak you're screwed And by the way speaking of those Ziploc freezer bags I always carry two or three with me And I roll them really tight the small ones Condense down to a tube like that By wrapping three or four good size rubber bands around them
[11:05] And you'd be surprised how many times those rubber bands come in handy when you're on a trip Oh and don't forget to pack a few ear swabs too Those things really come in handy too Just stick five or ten of those in a couple of toothpicks In your Ziploc bags before you roll them up into a tube I guarantee if you're out on the road long enough you'll make real good use of them Now let's talk a little bit about your hotel room And hopefully it's not a backpacker joint that you're sharing with seven people who snore And seven thousand fleas that don't They just bite If you're staying in a fairly new two-star or better hotel Generally they'll have built into the closet somewhere Some kind of a security or strong box Made out of thick metal about the size of a shoe box That'll hold most if not all of your valuables You've all seen those before
[11:51] And you rent the key at the desk for a buck or two a day At least that's what it costs down here in Latin America Now I know that in the first world a lot of these in your room safety boxes Have a digital code you punch in Well I've yet to see any of those down here except in the big first world hotels Like Radisson's and Hilton's and hotels like the Intercontinental But if you're staying in some of the local three and four-star hotels The ones that aren't first world chains They usually have the lower tech type of metal security box That comes with the key and the lock unit mechanism all in one That means no punch codes or electronics in them at all If you're a traveler you've probably seen a few of those too So how secure are those in room safety boxes? Well I remember once when I was in a first world hotel chain in Cartagena, Colombia
[12:38] And I forgot my combination It was one of those digital combination jobs You don't see much down here like I said So anyway I called down to the front desk And about 15 minutes later two guys came up And one had a little handheld electronic gadget And he slipped it over the top of the keypad in about three minutes He had the thing open And well that didn't make me feel so good All I could think was where could I get one of those things? Definitely somewhere on the internet right? And then I asked the more important looking of the two guys How many of those little electronic gadgets were floating around the hotel And how many of the employees knew how to use them And he said oh don't worry Yeah right don't worry Those famous last words you hear all over Latin America Don't worry Which in Spanish translates
[13:24] No preoccuparte No preoccuparte Which literally means don't be preoccupied And when you hear that phrase That's when you should start worrying Anyway he told me that they only have one of those electronic safe cracker gadgets in the hotel And it's locked in the main safe in the manager's office Way back past the check-in desk in the lobby And it's never allowed to be taken out of the manager's office unless you sign for it And there's two people present with it at all times Two employees At least that's what he told me and he did stutter a bit while he said it Then he gave me a reassuring look Which didn't soothe me much because I know how Latin Americans operate They're just not into the details Not that they're innately dishonest or anything
[14:11] But like expat Eddie always says Latins are no more dishonest than the next guy And he ought to know he's got a hundred of them working for him Anyway the bottom line is this Go ahead and put your passport and your ID documents Your camera and your smartphone and your iPad in there But I wouldn't put any expensive jewelry or hefty amounts of money in there Nothing over let's say 300 bucks And remember on the last show I talked about how to hide your money on your person With those zipper money belts and those waterproof dry pack pouches too So there's no need really to hide your main stash of money and valuables in your hotel room safe I mean of course if you're going out for the day or night and you're out and about You can and should take all that stuff with you And no one will be the wiser if you follow those pointers and tips I gave you in the last show
[15:00] Now I did say you could carry your valuables and your money and your credit cards And your IDs and stuff with you But let's not get carried away You don't want to be walking around with 10 ounces of gold 15 credit cards and 35 grand in cash That would be nuts I'm talking about reasonable amounts of money and valuables now I mean you could easily fit a thousand bucks in your zipper belt alone And if you're carrying around things like diamond rings and Rolex watches You're pretty much clueless anyway And if you get that stuff lifted I've got no sympathy for you at all Now I know a lot of you guys like to travel low budget I do sometimes myself but not backpacker or hostel style You know my minimum standards I need my own room and my own bathroom Anyway down here in Latin America the majority of those places
[15:45] On the medium to lower end don't have an in-room safety box And I'm always leery of leaving anything at the front desk of any hotel Unless they can show me that they've got a nice big safe that's locked and not left open all the time And just a hint about that here Don't become overconfident when you see a nice safe Behind the front desk or through the door in the manager's office Because often they have a nice big secure safe And they'll leave the door open all day long Because it's easier for the staff to go in and out of there without screwing around with the tumblers Or pestering the manager to open it Usually only the manager and maybe one other person has the combination to the safe Well if that's the case I don't have to tell you it's a bad idea to let them guard your stuff Because even if the door is closed and locked all night long Which it usually is
[16:32] You've got five or ten different staff people walking past that thing all day long In fact once I was staying at a very nice little middle class hotel in Roatan A nice mom and pop place And when I checked in they actually mentioned that they could hold my valuables And they're safe and they pointed to it A big old safe with the door open And when I looked at it I could see a bunch of other ID documents And envelopes with names on them and stacks of credit cards And a couple of boxes of cohebas Man that safe was just asking to be looted Matter of fact I was thinking about stealing those cohebas myself But seriously it was the last place I want to put my things So the question is what if you do have a lot of money And you don't want to put it in your room safe And chances are it won't have one anyway
[17:17] And you don't want to give up a stack of hundreds or a couple of gold coins To the guy at the front desk who says his wide open safe is nice and secure Basically for one thing it's a bad idea to let anybody know you've got that kind of stuff on you anyway And that's where backpackers have the advantage really And why hotel and restaurant owners don't like them much at all Bad for business they say They bring other backpackers too They don't look like they've got two pesos to rub together Not to mention they're always scruffy and they're very crappy tippers Though in the interest of full disclosure I'll have to admit that the worst tippers are generally the French With the Germans running a close second So that would mean a tour bus full of French and German backpackers Would be a restaurant or hotel owner's worst nightmare now wouldn't it?
[18:04] So what do you do if you have substantial cash or valuables on you and you're at a hotel You don't want to be hauling an excess amount of that stuff with you everywhere you go Well here's what you do You take out that old Swiss army knife I told you about And you look around your hotel room for a light switch plate Or a socket where you plug in a lamp or an appliance And you unscrew that plate if it has a screw or you pop it off with the newer ones And you'll see when you pop that plate off A nice little hollow wall space that had been covered up nicely by the plate you just took off And now you've got a very secret place to hide your cash and your valuables Then you slip that cover plate back on and you're in business But make sure you put it back on correctly and straight And the best place to find one of these outlets is behind a dresser or a bed
[18:51] There's a second layer of protection there Because the maid rarely cleans behind those things And even if there isn't an electric plate like that behind a bed or a dresser Just find anyone and use it And by the way the only downside to using that method is If you have an innate fear of electricity and electric shocks Because obviously when you pull that plate off You're going to see some wires and stuff that are going to look kind of scary to you And that's one of the reasons why I always suggest You have two pairs of latex or vinyl gloves in your travel kit like I do And remember you can compress those things down to nothing And if you got those gloves on while you pull off an electric plate and shove some money in there You don't have to ever worry about getting shocked And in the odd case that you have some gold with you or a Rolex or something metal and valuable
[19:38] Well that's a kind of a different story And that's why you have two pairs of vinyl or latex gloves You just take one of those gloves and you pack your gold coin or coins Or Rolex or diamond necklace or ring into the fingers of one of those gloves Now as you push it into that little empty wall space It's completely insulated and you'll never shock or short anything out with that either Now I know these sound a little bit like James Bondish kind of tricks But this stuff is good to know and both expat Eddie and I Have used these techniques on more than one occasion And believe me when I've been in the Middle East and in Africa I use them all the time Because you know those places are absolutely riddled with thieves And basically unless you're in a five-star hotel in Saudi Arabia Where all the sultans and princesses and their concubines are hanging out
[20:25] You don't want to let anyone know Especially the staff that you've got any valuables on you at all They'll even steal fruit and peanut butter and cookies and phone chargers That you leave around your room Oh and just one more thing about those in-room wall safes Now one time about two years ago expat Eddie was staying at a nice hotel in Panama And he had one of his usual I can't remember what I did last night episodes So he couldn't remember what he did with the key for his hotel room safe And after he and his girlfriend spent like a half an hour tearing apart the hotel room They still couldn't find it So he called down to the front desk and told him his dilemma And they said they'd be right up Well a half an hour then 45 minutes and an hour went by and Eddie called down again And the front desk said the maintenance guy must have gone out to lunch He'd be there very soon
[21:10] And then nearly another hour passed and they still hadn't come by Now normally the safe is usually bolted down in one of the closets Always with the back of the safe butting up to a wall Usually a cement or block or some very solid wall Now Eddie is one of those guys you see Who doesn't have a lot of patience with mechanical things We've all got a friend or two like that you know Now Eddie has an infinite amount of patience with other things in life I gotta say he's got an infinite amount of patience with people A lot more than I have But when he's stumped by mechanical things he can explode Like for example when a parking meter or a coke machine Doesn't accept his quarter or his dollar or just eats it up Eddie won't walk away he'll just give it a good swift hard kick Or ten I remember once when I was in a big shopping mall in Salvador with Eddie
[21:56] And we were finished for the day and going back to his car So we had to get his parking ticket validated in one of those machines Where you stick it in and it tells you what you owe Anyway in Salvador they use the US dollar for everything except the coins Salvadorenos have their own coinage And that's all they have left of their money supply and their so-called national heritage No colonial despots or genocidal dictators on their money Not anymore now they can blame our dead presidents And by the way those countries that do not have their own paper money And use US dollars like Salvador Panama and Ecuador When you visit those countries you don't have to bring nice crisp unmarked $20 bills Like I always suggest when you visit other Latin countries Luckily if you're in Panama, Salvador or Ecuador You can bring all kinds of crummy bills down there
[22:44] Torn, stained, peed on or otherwise And they'll accept them everywhere just like in the states No questions asked And that's why a lot of expats living in adjacent countries Like for example Nicaragua, Honduras and Guatemala After a while they'll start accumulating a nice collection of US bills That local banks and businesses won't accept But all they have to do is walk or drive to the Panama or Salvadorian border for example And trade them in for nicer looking bills Or go on a spending spree there So anyway back at the Salvadorian Mall with Eddie He put the ticket into the machine to get it validated And it asked him to deposit $2 which he did And it just would not accept one of these dollars And it was a new dollar too just kept kicking it back to him
[23:29] So after about three or four times of trying that same bill Eddie did what he always does when machines don't cooperate He gave it a nice quick hard kick and tried putting that money in again But it still wouldn't take that odd dollar of his Now by this time there's maybe six or seven people in line behind us And they just can't believe that Eddie's kicking this machine But when he turns back to look at him they're smiling like Man just keep kicking that bastard Because you see the average latin is just too timid to do anything like that Like I said Latin governments have taught their citizens since birth That standing in long lines forever and ever is a cultural heritage and a national past time So anyway after Eddie kicks this thing about 10 times and it's pretty loud now A security guy comes walking quite quickly out of the mall's entrance
[24:15] And gets right into Eddie's face gives him a scowl And points to a button that says basically press this button if you need assistance And so Eddie makes a big show out of pressing that button And he turns to the guy and says I'm so glad you're here I'm tired of kicking that thing Go ahead have a crack at it yourself you guys all play soccer The guy never answered Eddie he just kept scowling and stuck a pass key into the machine And as we walked away with the validated ticket We heard a little commotion back at the machine And as Eddie turned back three or four of the people standing in line Gave Eddie the nod and started clapping They actually gave him a bit of an ovation Because you know only a gringo could get away with what he just did But back to Eddie and his hotel room in Panama
[25:02] Remember he lost his key to the hotel security box So anyway about two hours passed And Eddie called the front desk the concierge and the assistant manager And he rang up maintenance too And still no one came up with a spare key So Eddie went over to the closet Took a look at the safety deposit box Grabbed it tight with both hands and wrapped his arms around it And he started leaning on it And it did give a little it wasn't quite secure against the wall Then he pulled a chair over to the closet Climbed up and sat on the edge of the box And started putting his full weight on it Then Eddie said the top of the box pulled away and separated right off of the wall Eventually the whole thing came right off in his hands Turns out it was held to the wall by two thick bolts
[25:48] But they were only protruding into the wall by about an inch to an inch and a half Not much considering that metal box itself probably weighed 20 pounds Now that's when Eddie's girlfriend freaked out Because nice calm Latin people just don't do those things And Eddie's all pleased with himself He's got this big grin on his face And he says to her I'll be right back And he opened the door and he walked down the hall to the elevator Passing people here and there who stared at him Quite strangely as he walked by with this thing in his arms And he got into the elevator where there were some other folks present Who were also quite surprised to see that And he rode the elevator down to the lobby holding this thing And he walked up to the front desk Laid it down and said to the manager Whose eyes were pretty bugged out by then Eddie said nobody told me when I rented this safety deposit box
[26:35] That it was supposed to be portable And Eddie said the guy just picked it up and stuck it under the counter Like it was a bag of dirty laundry or something And said that famous Latin line Which means of course don't worry So anyway the point is let that be a lesson to you If some crook working for the hotel Couldn't actually pick the lock on your box He could just walk away with it Oh and by the way I've seen infrequently In some of the three and four star hotels They have actual safety deposit rooms like they do in banks Where you have a key and the manager has a key And you both have to use them at the same time to open it That's about the best hotel security you're ever going to get So when I do run into them which is very infrequently I do use them And the last time I used a really secure box system like that
[27:23] When the front desk clerk handed me my key and said No priacuparte señor Don't worry For once I actually believed him You've been listening to The Expat Files Living in Latin America Coming to you each week from somewhere south of the border And don't forget you can email me On anything at all about Latin America The Expat Files at gmail.com See you next time Los Famos