#242 – The Expat Files: Water, Safety, and Expat Life in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wonder My thoughts ever straight Hi everybody I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files Living in Latin America the show that tells you what it's really like to live work play and or retire in Latin America I tell it just like it is so let's get started Before I get started today I have to respond to a lot of emails I've been getting lately people asking me when I'm gonna have my next big seminar down here in Latin America the big Full-blown one and since the last few seminars

[00:46] I had were described by some attendees as trying to take a drink of water with a fire hose Based on the fact that such a large amount of information was presented in a limited amount of time So now for this next seminar I've decided that it's not gonna be three days of seminar and then two days later doing the actual off the tourist trail boots on The ground part instead this time it's gonna be five complete days and in the mornings me and my crew will be doing our seminar Blatherings and every day after lunch. We'll be hitting the streets visiting first-world style hospitals with amazing insurance plans And we'll hit some doctors offices and factories and IT centers and gigantic food markets As well as having a look at those notorious pirate markets, too You just gotta see it to believe it and of course

[01:33] There'll be an in-depth real estate tour too because I've got to show you the real estate bubble here That's just about ready to pop that way you'll be able to scout out some fantastic deals for when that bubble deflates Which should be any time now us Gringos who watched it happen in 2008 in the states are already seeing the signs So I'll be giving you the play-by-play on that too. So anyway, like I said right now I'm in the process of setting up this latest seminar, which will be in a couple of months from now. So stay tuned Okay. Now I have to mention that I have been getting some emails since I did that program about the water quality down here In Latin America, you know the one where I said that practically all the inland water is polluted So let me give you some more explanation on that So as not to completely scare you I'll qualify that a little bit by saying that if you live high up in the mountains are at

[02:24] The foot of the mountains where there are no people upstream. You'll have pretty much unspoiled water Obviously if there's no city town factory or farm upstream, there will be no pollution But if there's any human activity at all upstream you can bet a hundred percent of the time that they'll always be polluted runoff And eventually you'll be taking your showers in it and mixing your margaritas with it. Hmm. So what to do? Now I should mention if you're a gringo putting in a first-world style project a hotel or a restaurant or perhaps bringing a first-world franchise down Well, then you'll absolutely have to follow the letter of the law Meaning you'll have to have first-world style drainage and sewage systems installed at least your architect will have to have them on the building plans and maybe just maybe a

[03:12] Government inspector might come out sometime while you're building to look at it But I wouldn't bet money on it Like I said before inspectors might never come out unless you're building a big first-world project like a clarion or a Hilton hotel Then you're the big fish on the block and a lot of eyes are gonna be on you Anyway, the fact is us first-world people when we do come down here and build projects or when big first-world development Companies come down here. Let's say and build them all we actually do not scrimp on the sewage facilities and sometimes actually go overboard in the other direction because who wants raw crap and sludge going into their neighborhood river us modern first-worlders Really frown on creating our own little love canals and crapping in our own backyards Whereas Latins, well, they just don't give a damn and if that's a place they can cut corners on the project

[04:01] You can bet they'll absolutely do it. So basically because down here Inspections are so hit and miss mostly miss When you're ready to build after you've submitted your plans and paid your fees and got your permit to start You are on the honor system, which really does work quite well when you're dealing with first-worlders Which is part of that sterling reputation we gringos down here off the tourist trail seem to have with the locals Whether we deserve it or not. It's a part of that gringo advantage, you know But for Latins, like I said, they seem not to mind crapping in their own backyards They do it all the time even expat Eddie's dad who was a real carner used to say Even a dog doesn't piss in his own bed, but he never visited Latin America. Thank God So anyway, I'm getting a lot of emails from people who are pretty alarmed about the water quality down here

[04:51] And they basically want to know if the water is so contaminated What about water sports and swimming and snorkeling and diving and all that fun stuff? And here's what I've got to say about that if you plan on going to a beach resort You can go out into the water and swim and play and do just about anything you want as long as you're at a location That's far away from any kind of a town or a city even a small town of let's say 5,000 But only if that resort or beachfront is located on the Pacific Atlantic or in the Caribbean so that means forget about water sports in most inland lakes and rivers if you're there Just stick with the pool. Oh and speaking of pools. Those things are vastly under maintained down here, too So you are taking a big chance if you use one unless it's one on the premises of a big first world project like a clarion

[05:38] Hilton or one of those all-inclusive resorts They're safe enough and that's because franchises and first world corporations follow first world water sanitation standards Oh, and here's something I almost forgot to mention never and I mean never use a public jacuzzi or hotel or resort jacuzzi Or wet sauna down here unless you don't mind bathing in the bacterial soup of the last hundred people who use the thing And in fact that goes for saunas and jacuzzis and most of the first world to those things are virtual cesspools But infinitely better than the ones down here. I can tell you my recommendation wherever you are is to only use a jacuzzi That's just been filled never use one That's had water standing in it already because no matter how nice the water looks you will never know how long that water's been in there When the filters been changed if ever or what the maintenance schedule is or if they even have one

[06:29] So anyway, if you are taking a vacation at a beachside resort You have to really make sure you're maintaining a good distance from the nearest population And how far away is far enough? Well, it depends on the size of the city if it's only a town of 5,000 Maybe two or three miles away would be plenty But if it's a bigger city of a hundred or two hundred thousand, well, you got to get about ten miles away Believe me and you know what? There is an easy way to plan a thing like that Just go on Google Earth and even though I hate Google because it's like a light version of Big Brother Google Earth itself is a tremendous service So anyway, here's what you do You go on Google Earth and you look for the spot that you want to spend a beach vacation at and you check out the aerial view Of the towns and cities nearest to your beach and then you have a look at the water around the little town or city

[07:15] That's closest to it and you'll notice that you'll always be able to detect some slightly off-colored water Surrounding that town or village kind of like a mucky halo around the place Until it hits a certain point in the ocean and then it basically fades away now that my friends is your zone of scum You want to avoid that at all costs that obvious chemical and fecal contamination zone What I'm saying is that each town in Latin America along a coastline or a waterway which most are is like an island Sitting in the middle of a toilet now That doesn't mean that once you've got past that little line of demarcation And now you're into the beautiful blue part of the ocean all of a sudden. You're all clear personally I'd still advise staying a mile or two away from that border where there's an obvious color change in the water If you're gonna go and play in the water that is and remember this obviously doesn't apply if you're just gonna walk the sand and

[08:05] Hanging around at the pool, but people generally go to a beach to jump in the water, right? At least I do Okay, so now you'll also notice on Google Earth that where rivers meet the ocean that area that they call an estuary You can also see a definite line of demarcation in color, which is totally normal Now when any river hits and mixes with the ocean there will always be a lot of muck and turbulence Which could be perfectly natural or it could be mixed with terrible amounts of pollution and sludge from cities and uneducated brain-dead human pigs upstream That's why if you're looking to buy or rent or have a vacation on a waterway You should use Google Earth to look upstream to see how many towns and villages are snuggling up to that river And you can be sure their toilet water is directly connected

[08:53] That's a guarantee so even though a lot of rivers do look nice and clean especially when you're driving out in the boonies and You might be thinking hey That would be a great place to buy a piece of land build a house retired have a natural garden and all that Well, let me tell you you best check Google Earth first now If there are a couple of towns a hundred or so miles upstream, there's a real good chance that nature's filtration processes You know the fish the trees the organisms the roots and all the other symbiotic biological eventualities We'll have pretty much cleaned up that water completely by the time it reaches you as you wait along the shore of that little piece Of paradise you may have selected to live or hang out or not And if you plan on staying there long term You really must take samples and have that water tested and not just off the bank of the side

[09:43] You're gonna buy or build take a few measurements at different times of the day and Preferably over some months too because you see here's what happens down here in Latin America one month It might be coconut harvesting season another month It might be coffee then it might be mangoes or sugar cane and guess what if there's any kind of Processing plant up and down the river like for example that nasty palm oil stuff if you got a plantation like that upstream from you They've got these big nasty ass refineries that only operate a couple of months out of the year during the palm nut season Guess where the unusable part of the process gets dumped in the rivers and lakes of course even if it's forbidden They'll find a way to dump it there because 98% of the time no one's watching and never never build or buy or swim

[10:29] Or play in water that's downstream from a mining company Even if one of those things is 200 miles upstream you can be sure there'll be heavy metals like cadmium and arsenic and even worse Some of it making its way hundreds of miles downstream, and how do mining companies get away with that well It's simple they pay off the politicians to get the permits then some years later when a new crop of politicians come in and the damage Has been done and the kids living downstream are smaller in statue have lower IQs and have diminished sperm counts Hmm well, I guess all of Latin America could use a lower sperm count, but that's another topic Anyway if the mines not tapped out by then they'll be grandfathered in by the new administration as the mining companies grease the palms of The new wave of corrupt politicians, so you might be thinking what about those beautiful places like Cancun and Playa del Carmen and Tulum

[11:21] Or that see looks so beautiful and clear with all those first-world hotels and development projects You have to assume with all that tourism that they're gonna take care of the water Effluent to make sure they can preserve that coral reef out there I mean that's what people go to Cancun for right along with that whole Yucatan area that stretches down to Belize known as the Mayan Riviera people go down there for one thing to play in that white sand in that beautiful water Well, I'm here to tell you a completely different story And I'm sure it's one that you haven't heard and no one wants to talk about listen to this now back in 1974 when Cancun was a collection of laminated buildings Tin Hudson was just a little fishing village before spring breaks and girls gone wild videos caught on it only had about

[12:08] 2,000 people now guess what it gets eight million visitors a year, but the water still looks nice you say right? Yeah, but did you know that it now has over 500 major hotels in a hundred thousand hotel beds And the fact is that pollution from pig farms and golf courses and septic tanks and hotels have pretty much Completely ruined the water quality of that nice blue water even though it looks so very nice Have you been there now? Here's the thing about 25 years ago all the new hotels in the area That's hundreds of them including all the ones built since were required to inject their human wastewater Deep below the drinking water aquafire now that was a good idea some 25 years ago But now it's seeping up through the rocks and into the aquafires

[12:56] And it's flushing directly out into the sea and just recently a study funded by the US Nature Conservancy measured the quality of the coral reef in that tourist area from Cancun down through Playa del Carmen all the way down to Tulum they measured the reef in 350 places and found out that 80% of the coral have been destroyed in the last 20 years and why is that happening so fast well that u.s study says that nutrients from human feces and urine and Fertilizers from golf courses are terminally poisoning the reef along with the pig and chicken farm waste and Because of graft and corruption naturally when Cancun started legislating tougher water quality laws just 20 years ago

[13:41] About two-thirds of the big resort hotels were already built and were Grandfathered in which means about one-third of the wastewater from tourist developments is actually treated with the rest going Straight into that aquafire underwater rivers or directly into the sea so bottom line Don't drink the water out of your tap and like expat Eddie always says if you're out there playing in the crystal clear waters Don't swallow I've heard that one before But should you be surfing and skiing out in that crystal blue water well expat Eddie also says if you're on the Mayan Riviera Whatever bacteria or disorder you might pick up while splashing around in the surf will be nothing compared to the booze drugs and contaminated Salads you'll stuff down your throat while you're partying your brains out

[14:28] Because after all you are on vacation And if you don't end up embarrassingly slashed at least a few times well expat Eddie would say you just weren't trying hard enough Now me personally I wouldn't stick a toe in any inland lake or stream in any place in Latin America at all however about 80% of the ocean coastal areas are far enough away from polluting populations that there's really not a problem at all There are still millions of great beachfront and coastal spots left if that's the kind of life You want to lead as a permanent expat so don't be put off too much by my pollution stories You just have to keep your eye open and scout around and by the way There are plenty of high-grade water testing labs down here that are dirt cheap and Speaking of clean water I got to give you a little update on that saw your water filter that I talked about on one of my previous shows

[15:17] You know the one that's supposed to filter out a million gallons guaranteed Which is like 35 human lifetimes if you live to be 80 and drink a gallon of water a day anyway like I said I really believe this is the last water filter you'll ever need But I have recently been notified by a number of emailers saying they couldn't get the Sawyer SP 121 anymore because it's just been discontinued in favor of the Sawyer SP 122 model which is the same price about 50 bucks except that the SP 122 comes with a quick disconnect hose so you can rapidly switch between your faucet under pressure for continuous flow or Use it when you're camping or backpacking as a regular straw in a bottle type device So anyway, if you're gonna get that filter go for the Sawyer SP 122 model

[16:05] It's just more convenient and here's another interesting thing about the water situation down here in Latin America now They don't have that huge debate going on down here about fluoride in water because they just don't have it in the water down here Which is a good thing right and if you still believe that it actually protects your teeth just go online look it up and weep In fact these days any enlightened first-world dentist will not endorse fluoride anymore He might even admit that it's a dangerous toxin though He might tell you that sheepishly because after all five or ten years ago every dentist and hygienist was pushing it like it was The end all to all cavities and decay and even today all the toothpaste companies are pushing fluoride still man Wouldn't that be a great marketing scheme for Colgate or Crest to come out with a toothpaste that did not have fluoride

[16:51] I thought they'd have done that years ago, but no dice Anyway down here in Latin America. No municipality puts fluoride in their water and believe me It's not because people of running the water treatment plants in the municipalities aren't lightened themselves In fact, I think they're all functional illiterates But the two main reasons they don't put fluoride in the water down here is because one it's too expensive and two They might overdose a whole city and kill everyone because fluoride is a toxin In fact a very powerful toxin that's got to be kept in a very tiny range of about one part per million in a municipal supply And that takes good equipment and a lot of monitoring now most Latin American Municipalities put chlorine in their water supplies But they're so lackadaisical about it that one day if you turn on the tap It might stink the high heaven of chlorine and the next day. There's no hint of chlorine at all

[17:39] So obviously nobody seems to be mining the store down at the local water company Which isn't surprising because all government agencies down here are terribly spotty and inconsistent if not completely useless now The thing is chlorine you can screw around with the concentration a great deal and not kill anyone not to mention at pretty high Concentrations, it's pretty stinky in fact generally so nauseating that at high dosages people won't drink it But fluorine is a completely different story It's tasteless and odorless and kills at such low Concentrations that you could drink a lethal dose and not even know it so you can predict that the day one of these big cities Like Rio or Buenos Aires or Panama City decides to fluoridate their water Well, that's the day there's gonna be the start of a lot of mysterious deaths, but thankfully I don't see that happening anytime soon

[18:26] I mean, it's true all these places down here in Latin America are trying to be first world as much as they can and they Never seem quite able to pull it off So before they ever get around to fluoridating the water They'll first have to figure out how they can give you water more than eight hours a day and figure out how to remove the fecal Contamination duh and that is still beyond their basic capabilities here which again is one why you always want to purify your own water and to always try to live in a colony or a subdivision that Has its own well now if you do have to use municipal water Make sure you have a nice big cistern that acts as a reserve tank because you could be sure that your water will not be on 24 hours a day and sure municipal water is contaminated But if you purify your own you'll be absolutely okay and about taking a shower with water that you wouldn't drink

[19:15] Well, that's your own call. If you're using municipal water, just have it tested and see for yourself There's no doubt it's gonna be a lot cleaner than the polluted rivers and streams around here But like I said before sometimes it looks absolutely awful So try not to panic when you land at the airport in a place like Tagusi Galpa Honduras because I guarantee when you turn on the faucet in the bathroom John It'll be some disgusting shade of yellow or brown that my friends is when you'll take out that little Sawyer water purifier Which is only about three or four inches long and you'll slam it on that faucet with the quick connect and breathe a nice big sigh of relief But watch out because all the local guys in the bathroom are gonna gather around to check out the nutty gringo But back to that fluoride in the water thing since Latin Americans do not have fluoride in their municipal water supplies

[20:01] Some traditionalists would say well, then Latin American kids must have tons of cavities much more than their first world counterparts, right? Well, yes compared to first worlders They do have tons of cavities and it's not because of lack of fluoride. Believe me since that's all BS Anyway, it's because for one parents have never taught their kids about good oral hygiene And because about 85 to 90 percent of Latin Americans never go to the dentist unless they're in severe pain That means they never go in just for a routine cleaning and like I said before hygienists don't exist down here So they never get those little happy tooth diagrams and lessons that the hygienists always give kids now another reason why Latin kids and adults have so many cavities is because so many of them suck on sugar and sugary candies all

[20:48] Day long. Remember Latin America is the land of sugar cane It grows wild on the sides of roads and even in people's backyards So oftentimes you'll be driving by or walking by some kids and you'll seem sucking on a stubby blade of grass Which is actually a piece of sugar cane raw sugar. Basically, they've got free lollipops growing alongside the road Now you have that in your mouth all day and you don't floss and you brush maybe 15 seconds each night if you're lucky And what do you think's gonna happen? But ta-da big food manufacturing companies have come to the rescue now get this Lately in the past few years. I've noticed that when you buy salt at the grocery store You can now get iodized salt like up in the first world and you can get it with fluoride added

[21:35] Yep salt with fluoride now as you might imagine there have been in the big newspapers down here marketing campaigns to try to get parents to buy salt with fluoride because it supposedly reduces tooth decay and of course parents are falling For it because it doesn't cost anymore and naturally their kids have a lot of cavities. So they believe the propaganda Why wouldn't they it's another great idea that came down from those first world gringos And the thing is i've talked to a lot of dentists down here about that and every single one of them is happy about it They say that fluoride is a good thing Now you have to remember like I said before Dentistry down here in latin america unlike medicine, which is quite up to date Dentists are stuck about 10 or 15 years behind dentists up in the first world Even the best dentists here are not quite up to date

[22:23] Which isn't a bad thing, but you've got to know it and that means even the best dentists down here are working like dentists Did back in the 1990s up in the states? And in the 1990s everybody was pushing fluoride hard and heavy up there. Remember that back Then there was no such thing as a naturopathic or holistic dentist It was all about drilling and filling and crowns and bridges and fluoride trays for the kids which made kids occasionally vomit and cry Remember that so needless to say my advice skip the salt with the fluoride But again, don't be militant about it when you see some latin person, you know using it in his or her salt shaker Don't go into high gear with information overload You'll just confuse them with the facts and you know how that'll turn out don't you soon enough? You just won't get invited to the family parties anymore

[23:09] Though that might be a good thing, you know, especially if you've got a weak stomach now to change gears a little bit I do get a lot of emails asking me for some more expat eddie stories. Well, i've got one for you here Now a couple of weeks ago. I met up with expat eddie in san pedro sulla honduras and he had a tale to tell He decided to take a ride with his girlfriend in her new car From el solvador up through honduras through guadamala and on to belize where he booked a week at a beach resort in placentia Belize now eddie Of course like any gentleman insisted on doing the driving and as he was driving through el solvador No problems at all But as soon as he hit the honduras border, he started getting stopped by the cops In fact, he was stopped four times total about once an hour through his trip through honduras

[23:56] He said that was about every other time that he passed one of those police roadblocks And they stopped him every time for the same reason because he had out of country plates He was driving with solvador plates and he was in honduras They spot plates right away and try to extort money from drivers for any little violation They can get you on like for example not wearing a seat belt Even though they'd never nail one of their own country men for that. That's the little game They play with out of toners now eddie like any experienced expat knew when to use his spanish and knew when to play dumb And the cop at first always asks the same question Poor to arm us which means are you carrying a gun? And all of us expats know it'd be nuts to carry a gun into any country

[24:41] It's not registered in or they'll confiscate it and give you a fine Okay So eddie didn't have a gun But do you remember how I always tell you to buy one of those zipper belts one that looks like a normal leather belt But has a zipper built into the back side where you can hide up to a thousand bucks if you want And nobody will be the wiser now Of course eddie wears one of these things all the time because who knows if you get into trouble or you get robbed or a car accident Or you lose your wallet or whatever. That'll be a nice emergency stash Anyway, eddie had one of these belts and he had one for his girlfriend, too In which he also had a stash of about a thousand bucks But his girlfriend being a runway model and as goes with the territory she dresses to the hilt Because of that she's always color and fabric coordinated when she goes out and that day in the car

[25:27] She put up a stink because that money belt did not coordinate with what she was wearing poor baby It just didn't match her outfit, you know So eddie wore both belts he had one through the normal loops of his pants and the other one Wrapped around his bare waist right above that Anyway, so he got pulled over by one of those cops He lifted up eddie's shirt to see his fanny pack, which was a decoy, of course And he saw the two belts that made the cop suspicious and he pulled another cop over to look at it Then he said to eddie in spanish. Why are you wearing two belts? Which caught eddie completely off guard and eddie says in spanish, which was a bad move He says it's just an old extra belt. Well, the cop then says well if it's an extra belt, you don't need it, right?

[26:14] So can I have it and eddie speechless for the first time in his life ended up spilling the beans after a long pregnant He said officer. It's an emergency belt Then the cop says oh, yeah, let me see how it works So eddie flipped it over unzips just a little bit of it and then the cop sees a hundred dollar bill in there and the cop says What's that for? And eddie says it's for emergency and the cop says, you know what? I think we have an emergency right now So eddie had no recourse but to forfeit it up to the guy But to make matters worse that 100 was actually three 100 bills folded together You know like a month salary for the cop Needless to say the cops were extremely friendly after that and eddie

[27:01] Well, he didn't talk to his girlfriend for about six hours and on the way home. Guess what? He wasn't such a gentleman He made her wear the belt and drive And wouldn't you know it as they went through all eight of those police barriers on the way back through salvador eddie's girlfriend got pulled over a total of six times And when she threw the cop a smile or a little pout, she got waved right on through every time Yep, I guess there is one thing that'll trump the gringo advantage South of the border Down mexico way You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america Coming to you each week from somewhere south of the border and don't forget you can email me

[27:47] On anything at all about latin america the expat files at gmail.com See you next time on expamels Ah, she was a picture