#248 – The Expat Files: Latin America Insights, Real Estate, and Cultural Nuances

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wonder My thoughts ever straight Hi everybody I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files Living in Latin America the show that tells you what it's really like to live work play and or retire in Latin America I tell it just like it is so let's get started Well before we get started today as promised I've got news on my latest seminar Finally since a lot of you guys want to know the details so you can get your vacation settled and work those dates into your schedule So my next expat wisdom Latin insider seminar, which is gonna be off the gringo trail

[00:50] Of course and this time again in Guatemala. Well, it's all arranged and here's some of the details now again I'm limiting the attendance to only 24 people so we can all stay together at the same hotels and not be separated That way we can all hang together 24-7. That's the best way to keep things down home and personal You know, you see the point is we want to stay in one of those very nice boutique colonial hotels down here and almost none of those very cool restored colonial jobs has any more than 30 rooms and Most of them have a lot fewer which is another reason why I don't want any more than 24 people on the trip So anyway, jot this down. The seminar dates will be Sunday June 23rd through Friday June 28th So check your schedule So the seminar this time is six full days unlike the last few seminars where I had three days of lecture

[01:38] Followed by two days of boots on the ground for a total of five days. So this time due to the massive information I'm adding an extra day Now I've arranged the dates this way partly so you can have a maximum flexibility with your flights and it's the offseason So there should be no trouble at all with airline bookings For example, you could arrive on Friday or Saturday June 21st or 22nd and return on the following Saturday or Sunday the 29th or 30th or you can choose to stay on longer like so many attendees have done in the past in Case you want to investigate and explore on your own after the seminar or perhaps you're checking out places to live or you have a cool Business idea or two and you're checking that out a bit more So if you stay on after the seminar or come early my crew will help you organize a great itinerary or whatever else you might

[02:25] Need in the way of side trips, etc We do that automatically if you sign up for the seminar no extra charge at all In fact right now there are at least a dozen people down here from previous seminars some of them hooking up with our team again and making their own arrangements and organizing and planning their own vision of their future expat life and if you come down to my Next seminar you'll get to meet and hang with some of them because I've invited a few of them to tag along so that way They can tell you some of their stories how they're settling in and you can pump them for information, too And believe me, they're glad to do it anyway for the complete details and the agenda Just go to expat wisdom calm and click on the new seminar link We should have it up by Monday the 15th or sooner. So do check it out Anyway, like I said, if you check your calendar the seminar runs six days Sunday through Friday

[03:14] And also, please note that the cost of the seminar will include seven nights in four-star hotels That means the six seminar nights are included as well as the Saturday June 22nd the night We have our meet-and-greet party at the hotel I assume that most attendees will be arriving that Saturday sometime during the day and you see I'm including those seven nights in the hotel That way you won't have to book any accommodations for yourself and all of us like-minded folks will be bonding and pairing off in groups Which is what usually happens at these kind of events. And that's a good thing. Believe me That's how a lot of great business ideas sprouted during the last few of my seminars people hooking up with other attendees Coming up with ideas and brainstorming and now some of them are actually down here making those ideas work

[04:01] So for those of you out there who have a promising business idea, but realize it's just too big for one person Just remember when you come down here There'll be like-minded people you can share that with who just might end up being your next business partner that's a scenario that's happened at every one of my seminars and Remember if you do decide to come earlier plan an extended stay like so many people do my crew will make all the necessary Arrangements for you way ahead of time. That's why we have a fully bilingual expat wisdom seminar coordinator And of course a staff of 100% bilingual translators So you won't have to use any of your Spanglish at all unless you want to Oh and one thing more this time I've rearranged the seminar a bit because you see in the past I allotted three days for the lecture part then after that

[04:46] There were two more optional days of boots on the ground where we'd visit some of my longtime Gringo expat friends who own factories and businesses guys who came down years ago with little money no Spanish No contacts and made great successes of themselves because in spite of all the handicaps They had one huge thing going for them that good old gringo advantage. I talked so much about So along with visiting a few of my friends places we'd visit a first world style hospital and medical center and have a tour of a medical specialty building to and we go to one of those massive markets where you could buy just about anything including any kind of produce you can imagine as well as legit and Illegit pirated stuff and the boots on the ground pit would also include a tour of a world-class coffee plantation that ships most of its product to Japan and

[05:33] A real estate tour where we'd show you the ins and outs of the real estate bubble down here and it seems that everybody I mean everyone is Interested in real estate and unlike those other cattle call seminars that they put on in Costa Rica and Panama and such I'm not recommending real estate. Oh, there are a few deals down here and I'll show you where they are But the majority of stuff anything that's close to a big city Anyway, it's definitely in the bowl and it's about to pop and when it blows Wouldn't you like to be there to pick up the pieces at 20 to 25 cents on the dollar? Because if you keep your eyes open you will and I'll be there to give you a crash course on exactly what to look for So anyway with the three-day seminar and the two-day boots on the ground thing It turned out to be way too much information in too short a period of time as one of our last seminar attendees said it was

[06:24] Like drinking from a fire hose. So by popular demand I added an extra day to the seminar Oh and by the way giving an extra special bonus for anyone who signs up before the end of this month if you do I'll give you a free Skype consult call with either me Jose our seminar attorney or Mauricio our seminar IT tech specialist and these special phone Consults will arrange when you've returned home and had time to process the trip and all that information That's when a phone consult like that will do you the most good So just go to expat wisdom calm and click on the seminar link and check out the details If after that you have any more questions, just email me at the expat files at gmail.com or Johnny at expat wisdom calm And now I'd like to mention a little ripoff technique that's been going on for years down here in Latin America and gringos fall

[07:13] For it every time especially gringo tourists So this is one to be on the lookout for because it could happen to you In fact, it's happened to most of the expats I know at least one time or another including me and it's something that happens at the gas station when you fill up and here's how it goes now first I have to mention that this kind of thing can never happen to you if you pump your own gas at The self-serve and I understand that up in the first row That's about all you have these days is self-serve from what I understand Those days are long gone when a guide wipe your windows check your air pressure in your tires and check your oil and all that At least that's what I've heard, but I might be wrong. So let me know about that. You know, I don't live in the States Anyway down here in Latin America. It's not like that at all Yes, every gas station does have auto service or auto service

[07:59] Yo self-serve, but there are only maybe two to four places like that in a row of ten pumps self-service pumps are just not very popular down here and you'd think they would be because you can save ten or fifteen cents a gallon and You know that does add up especially since salaries are three to five hundred bucks a month down here But you know in Latin America, it's all about the show and anybody who pumps their own gas Well, they get labeled as kind of a skin flint or a taconio. That's what they call skin flint down here taconio Well, you know what I say screw them because you know, that seems to be one of the marks of an expat down here We just don't give a damn what people think I pump my own gas and even expat Eddie does and he's worth a couple of Million in dollars not pesos or boulevards or limpiras or quetzales or colonas

[08:47] Eddie pumps his gas too. Why not? But you'll almost never see a white collar Latin guy ever pump his own gas because you know It's the common theme down here that guys that pump their own gas don't have any class, you know And like I said, it's all about the show because the fact is even if a Latin guy only has 50 cents in his pocket To put in the gas tank. He'll have the attendant guy pump the gas. I mean, come on How embarrassing is that putting 50 cents in your gas tank, but it's done all the time down here And the thing is down here in Latin America women will almost never pump the gas themselves Latin women I mean they don't like to get out of their car at a gas station Not so much because it's an unclassy thing to do but it's because gas station workers and car wash guys and grease monkeys who hang around gas stations like to gawk and I up the

[09:37] Women and although the guys who pump the gas themselves the guys wearing the uniforms in the hats Will never do anything overtly sexist less they risk getting fired in case the girl reports them to the management Nevertheless, there's always some kind of underhanded body language going on when a woman gets out of her car to pump the gas Especially a woman getting out of the car in a dress or a skirt Which is pretty common business attire for a lot of women who drive cars in the cities in Latin America And it's even worse for a woman at a gas station if she's dressed to kill on a way to a party or a disco In that case it even takes some effort for a woman dressed like that to get out of her car and to go into the Convenient store part of the gas station to buy something or another in fact some Latin women I know who drive cars actually carry a baggy

[10:23] Oversized man's shirt in the back of their car that they use to cover their sexy clothes if they have to pop into a gas Station for an emergency if you know what I mean So in a macho society the ladies do have to have their tricks And by the way guys out there if you do have to use a bathroom in a gas station or for that matter Anywhere you can get away with it, which means pretty much anywhere that it's got a lock on the door Always used a woman's John It's about ten times cleaner by nature and used about one tenth as much as the men's John because you know No women including Latin women like to go to the bathroom at a gas station unless it's an extreme emergency You know what I mean and believe me men if you do what I recommend and you go into the women's John instead of the men's No one's gonna tell you not to do it or reprimand you because you know

[11:10] It's that gringo advantage again because you see the average Latin person is Embarrassed to say to a gringo what he'd say without wincing to a Latin guy plus if by chance you ever get called out on It you can always fall into the no hablo espanol Routine you know play the dumb tourist gringo bit though I've never found the need to have to do that not when using a girl's bathroom anyway on the other hand I've used it very successfully when dealing with cops who try to extort bribes You play the dumb gringo thing with them and a lot of times They just give up and go on to the next guy But guys if you're thinking about using the woman's bathroom Don't try that in a shopping center or a Hilton or a first world Franchise like McDonald's or Wendy's because there'll be way too much traffic in and out of the bathroom for you to ever get away With that so if you do on occasion use the girls John surely because the men's is so disgusting that to your senses

[12:00] It's a dead giveaway 30 paces before you even get to the door Again use the woman's but make sure the door has a lock on it and there's no one else in there so as to avoid well You know the obvious oh and by the way many a time I've walked out of a girl's bathroom in a restaurant or a gas station and there's been a woman or two standing outside Waiting to use the John themselves, and you know when they see that you're a gringo They figure you just couldn't read the sign because it was in Spanish. They don't even give you a dirty look They sometimes even smile such as the power of the gringo advantage You know because you see the gringo advantage just doesn't apply to business situations It applies to social situations, too I guarantee if you walked out of a woman's bathroom, and you weren't a gringo You were a local an average latin guy

[12:47] And there were a couple of latin women outside standing there waiting to use that bathroom They definitely wouldn't give you a pass on that one even though as a rule latins are very very polite and uncomplaining and not likely To stir up a ruckus, but in some cases having to do with that kind of privacy. Well. It's another story Anyway back to getting ripped off at the gas pump now you see in Latin America since most people don't use the self-serve pump As soon as you tell the guy how much gas you want you'll go over to the pump pull out the gas nozzle Stick it into your car and say zero la bomba. I'll say that again zero la bomba Which means the numbers on the pump register are at zero which is exactly where they should be when he starts pumping

[13:32] But you see the thing is long-term Expats know that you should never believe it when the guy says zero la bomba that means you should always stick your head out The window and have a look yourself and make sure it does read zero on that pump But alas most people don't do that especially women and green expats and stupid gringo tourists So here's how they rip you off in that situation It turns out often the person who got gas at that pump right before you did only Put in a gallon or two because that's all he could afford in fact I've been behind many a driver who only put 50 cents or a dollars worth of gas in their car Which reminds me of my old high school scoop in the loop days back in Chicago when 50 cents actually you would get you enough Gas to run the car for the night But these days you'd be lucky to get out of your driveway Not to mention if you put 50 cents with a gas in your car in the States

[14:21] You'd be the idiot of the week and probably end up on YouTube Anyway, suppose the guy before you put two dollars worth of gas into his car now The guy who pumped the gas knows he can rip off the next guy or gal for two bucks under the right conditions He only has to select his mark properly So as cars drive up to that gas station to pull in and get gas the gas station Attendant is on the lookout for a woman driver Someone driving a rental car or a hapless gringo or tourist and he'll wave them right over to the pump That's racked up that two dollar sale from the previous guy and at that moment based on who's driving He'll make a decision whether he's gonna flip that lever that zeros out the pump or he's gonna Just keep pumping starting at the two dollar mark from the last guy Basically, he knows from experience who will and who won't look at the pump when he says those magic words

[15:12] Zero La Bamba So for example, if a woman drives up and says give me ten dollars with a regular There's a good chance that the guy pumping the gas will say zero La Bamba, but he won't zero it He'll leave the two bucks on the register Racked up by the last guy knowing she won't stick her head out the window to check it out It'll look like she gets her ten bucks worth. All right, it'll show that on the register But in actuality they'll only be eight bucks worth of gas in the tank Then at the end of the night these gas station attendants who are working together on that scam They'll pocket that extra dough when they figure the night's receipts Admittedly two or three bucks here and there is not a lot but it's still a scam So you gotta look out for that and a lot of these guys are pretty slick They're sure to only rip off people who put quite a bit of gas into the tank at one time

[16:00] that way if it's missing two or three bucks worth the gas tank gauge in the car will still rise enough to make the Car owner think that everything was on the up-and-up So you see a scam like that cannot work very well if you put in only five bucks or less in the tank yourself Because you just might notice that your gas tank gauge doesn't budge Then you just might get out of your car and ask a few questions and do something about it So what I'm saying is these guys know how to work the scam So look out especially in those tourist areas like in Costa Rica where there are a ton of gringos who rent cars and don't speak Spanish They're so happy to be there in paradise that being ripped off for a couple of gallons of gas is the last thing They're gonna have on their minds Most of them are oblivious to it and they just keep getting nickeled and dime to death Repeatedly and they don't even know it and you know it happens to the best of us once in a while even to us

[16:50] Long-term expats who should know better about a year ago I got ripped off just like that at a shell station and it doesn't matter if you're at a brand-name station like a shell or a Texaco either basically because I was in a hurry and wasn't paying attention and it's not until you're about 10 blocks away that you Realize that your gas gauge isn't moving like it should and you know when that does happen to you You're always thinking my gas gauge must be just a little slower a little off and give it time It'll move upwards supposed to be but it never does and you know once a few years back I actually did fight it out at a gas station over just such a problem like that and guess what I put up such a Big stink that they gave me an extra five bucks worth, but you know I know this stuff goes on all the time, but I've never ever seen a Latin person argue it out at all

[17:36] In fact, I've never seen anyone do it But if you're ever sitting at a party or an event with a group of Latin people and ask them if they've ever been ripped Off for gasoline everybody. I mean everybody will raise their hand And by the way when I tell you that the gas station attendants will say zerro la bomba Yep, it's that exact phrase la bomba used in that famous song la bomba Which in the song means the bomb and at a gas station or a hardware store means the pump When speaking of robbers and thieves and they're called la drone is down here. La drone is let me read you this little news Blurb that just came out of the Tagusi Galpa, Honduras newspaper According to the civil aeronautics bureau Which is the guys who are in charge of the Tagusi Galpa airport the biggest airport in Honduras over the weekend some thieves

[18:22] La drones broke into the air traffic control department and stole eight computers Police say that delinquents perpetrated the attack over the weekend when there was a very minimal security Which begs the question should you be worried about flying into Tagusi Galpa Airport? I wonder if their air traffic controllers can use hand signals hmm And speaking of thieves let's talk about the biggest thief of all the US government now if you recall on one of my past shows I talked about that fat color financial transaction reporting law that the US passed in 2010 designed to prevent tax evasion when using foreign bank accounts Which is what the US government claims so that basically means that up in the states You are the cow and the government is milking you and if you send your milk down to a foreign country

[19:11] They want a piece of it like 30% of it So as of now the US and the US banking system and the IRS are basically forcing every country in the world that has Affiliate banks in the US or any foreign banks that do wire transfers through intermediary US banks to abide by the fat colas which means by January 2014 all foreign banking institutions are required to share bank and financial information basically all US citizens with foreign bank accounts to the IRS and the Treasury Department and if a foreign bank doesn't comply any Funds flowing from the US to that foreign bank account owned by a US citizen will be subject to a 30% withholding tax and of course foreign banks don't care about that but what they do care about is the fact that

[20:01] If they don't adhere to those reporting requirements, they'll no longer be able to do wire transfers through the big New York intermediary banks who traditionally handle the international transfer of funds and no foreign bank wants that privileged cut-off So practically all of them have signed on to the FATCA agreement So what does that mean for expats and expat wannabes? Well, that means you'd be stupid to open a foreign bank account in your own name because then you're gonna get flagged as someone Who's got money outside of the US in other words? You're a guy who's got cows in a foreign country and the US still wants some of that milk But you know what when SA corporations are the owners of bank accounts FATCA Legislation and international exchange agreements don't apply at all But for example, if you are a principal in an SA corporation that owns a bank account

[20:51] you're supposed to be on your honor to report that every year to the IRS and of course every expat with a foreign corporation is Just dying to turn over that information to the IRS since the government has been such a magnanimous and wonderful presence in all of our lives and knowing that don't you wonder sometimes why so many gringos expats and Europeans set up their own SA corporations in foreign countries And of course, there's a whole lot more to that story But in order to find out all the details you have to come down to an expat wisdom seminar and find out all about it And what countries haven't signed on to FATCA? Well, there's China, North Korea, Venezuela and a ton of African countries enough said about that at least that's all I can say on the radio right now and Here's some news you guys in Costa Rica are gonna hate and anyone who's got land or who's living there right now

[21:41] Should think about selling and getting out while you can and here's some news on that from a Panama newspaper. It reads International monetary analysts say the only thing that Costa Rica can do to get out of its massive debt crisis is To raise taxes and drastically cut government spending these analysts point out that Costa Rica's fiscal Deficit is such a big problem that if it's not attended to urgently in the next election cycle There are two outcomes for the Costa Rican economy. It'll either explode like a time bomb or stall completely The article goes on to say that Costa Rica has severe structural problems in its economy and that the only real growth in Recent years has been in the government sector. So bottom line you guys who live in Costa Rica

[22:27] Expect big tax increases because they're not gonna cut government spending that never happens and while I'm checking out the paper Here's an article. I think you'll like it says here Colonel Francisco Eduardo Arenas barrios Accused and found guilty of stealing eight point six million dollars. That's dollars now from the Aurora International Airport in Guatemala City in 2006 well He's been found guilty and condemned to 15 years in prison and has been ordered by the court to pay $1,000,000 in fines. Does that sound fishy to you? I'll take that deal any day you steal 8.6 million and you get fined just 1 million Hmm, that's Latin justice for you You know now on the heels of that comes another article in the paper regarding the infinite elasticity of the Latin American judicial system

[23:19] Now listen to this. It says a court tribunal sentenced Gladys Hernandez Gonzales 62 years old and Her husband to five years in prison after both being found guilty of homicide committed in the state of emotional violence I guess that would be second-degree homicide Unpremeditated it says here that Gladys the woman shot this guy Eldiso Castillo two times in the chest with her husband's gun her husband heard the shots fired and ran into the house He grabbed the gun that the guy had pulled on his wife Then he used that gun to shoot the guy too now There's two things about this case that are very interesting one is that this took place in? 2005 we're talking eight years ago now That's about the same amount of time that lapsed in the other case

[24:06] The one with the colonel who stole the eight and a half million bucks from the airport So what does that tell you that tells you that the wheels of justice in Latin America are so slow that they'd actually have to speed Up to come to a standstill and a second strange thing about this case Well the judge in the case ordered that they both served five years in prison however He also gave them the option of paying 65 cents a day to get out of prison or about 1200 bucks apiece to go free now you might think first hearing this that's mighty screwed up that you can pay your way out of a Murder case well it turns out the guy they shot and killed was a serial rapist who they testified in court had raped their Granddaughter so in this case if you ask anybody on the street in the town where they live These guys are now local heroes and after taking out one of the bad guys in town

[24:54] The local folks took up a collection and paid their way out of jail like I said those little towns police themselves Now I've got an email from Frank who says dear Johnny since Latin Americans in general Don't read would upper-class Latin Americans pay for regular lectures to have a gringo tell them about the latest American books Would Latin's have an interest in science fiction, maybe I'm talking about a kind of a cliff notes talk You know give them enough information To say a few words about it at parties where they could pretend that they actually read the book Thanks Frank well Frank. I could easily answer that email with just one word No, that won't work Frank because I'll tell you in all my years down here I've been count on one hand Latins that I've seen who've carried a popular book or a best-seller in a public place

[25:44] Even so-called educated Latins who speak very good English sound familiar And as far as electronic books like Kindle and Moby or books on PDF forget about it There's a huge lag time and it's not on the radar yet here at all The fact is when you look in the latin newspapers And you see the cell phone and the computer ads and all the usual products computer stores push They just don't push Kindle or book readers at all There's just no interest and like I said in a past show if you go to one of the big book stores that has Books in Spanish and English and you do see those occasionally in high-end malls what they call a best seller Could be a book that's only sold maybe ten copies in a week, and that's in a big city of a million or more people Latin Americans just don't read and they're reading less and less just like people up in the first world

[26:34] They'd rather spend their time watching reality shows and getting on Facebook Go figure and remember upper-class Latin parents have very little real communication with their kids to pass on any good and valuable habits like reading even if they wanted to because after all the kids we're talking about are brought up not by their parents, but by the cleaning lady and the nanny and the cleaning lady and the nanny are Lucky if they've got a fourth grade education, so you've got no budding Einsteins there I believe me these upper middle-class Latin kids have everything and anything First-world kids have as well as all their bad habits and in fact I'd say that the only thing that Latin American upper-class kids have going for him right now is that none of them I know seems to be on any kind of psychotropic medicines not yet. Anyway, there's a lag time on that too

[27:21] But I'm sure it's coming. So the good news is that most psychologists and psychiatrists down here will tell you it's not a very good living Not yet. Anyway You've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America Coming to you each week from somewhere south of the border and don't forget you can email me on anything at all about Latin America The expat files at gmail.com. See you next time