Episode Summary
In this episode of The Expat Files, Johnny Mueller explores the multifaceted experiences of expats in Latin America, touching on a range of topics from cultural norms and relationships to legal and safety concerns. The episode is divided into several segments, each offering unique insights into the expat experience.
Johnny begins by discussing the experiences of expats, particularly women, in Latin America, highlighting the common pattern of educated expat women marrying Latin men from wealthier, more educated backgrounds. He notes that many of these men are not self-made but are part of families that inherit businesses. Johnny also explores the cultural and socioeconomic differences in family sizes across Latin America, pointing out that larger families are more common in rural and indigenous communities, while urban, educated populations tend to have smaller families. He raises questions about the ethical implications of expats benefiting from these systems.
The segment then shifts to the treatment of domestic workers in Latin America, with Johnny and the host reflecting on the disparity in how wealthy Latin Americans and expats treat their help. Johnny emphasizes that expats often go the extra mile to support their workers. The host shares a story about an expat woman married to a wealthy Latin American man, highlighting the challenges she faces with his spoiled children, including their lack of discipline, drug use, and reckless behavior. The segment also includes details about the cost and characteristics of beach houses on the Pacific side of Latin America, including the presence of volcanic sand and murky water.
Johnny then discusses the culture of motorcycle riding in Latin America, highlighting the prevalence of unlicensed riders, the lack of enforcement by police, and the affordability of motorcycles. He shares a personal anecdote about an accident involving a motorcyclist and the lack of insurance coverage among riders.
The segment moves on to discuss the aftermath of a motorcycle accident involving an expat and a local motorcyclist. Johnny highlights the lack of insurance among most motorcyclists, the routine handling of such incidents by authorities, and the challenges of pursuing legal action against the motorcyclist. He emphasizes the importance of legal precautions for expats, such as using SA corporations to protect personal property from potential lawsuits following fatal accidents.
Johnny then recounts a story about an expat woman, referred to as 'the gringa,' who is married to a Latin man. The gringa discovers that her husband frequently visits a massage spa, which is a common practice among Latin men. She confronts him about it, and he justifies it as part of male culture. The gringa, being a first-world woman, is skeptical and decides to go back to the United States for a while. Her husband promises to never go to the spa again, and he even cries, which the gringa finds manipulative. Johnny comments on the typical pattern of Latin men marrying gringas, living happily until the gringa becomes a mother, after which the husband reverts to his old habits. He expresses doubt about the gringa's future happiness with her husband.
Finally, Johnny discusses the complexities of relationships between expat gringos and Latin American women, using personal anecdotes and observations. He shares a story about a wealthy expat friend who married a Colombian woman with a wealthy background. The wife had clear expectations about her husband's behavior, including not having girlfriends or mistresses and not discussing his extracurricular activities. Johnny notes that while some Latin women may have accepted or thought about these behaviors, it's not uncommon for them to be part of the cultural norm. He also mentions that his friend occasionally visits massage parlors and nightclubs, which are often combination strip clubs, and that these are common in business settings with Latin clients. Johnny concludes by promoting an upcoming seminar on Latin America for expats.
Topics
Expat experiences in Latin America, Cultural and socioeconomic differences in family sizes, Ethical implications of expat labor systems, Treatment of domestic workers in Latin America, Cultural and economic disparities between expats and local elites, Behavior and upbringing of wealthy Latin American children, Motorcycle culture in Latin America, Lack of enforcement and licensing, Affordability and availability of motorcycles, Safety concerns and insurance issues, Motorcycle accidents in Latin America, Insurance and legal implications for expats
Chapters
00:00:00 Opening 00:00:19 Introduction to the discussion on expat experiences and cultural dynamics 00:00:21 Overview of the show's focus on expat life in Latin America 00:00:25 Introduction to the topic of expat experiences and cultural dynamics 00:00:26 Introduction to the discussion on expat experiences and cultural dynamics 00:00:31 Introduction to the discussion on expat experiences and cultural dynamics 00:00:34 Introduction to the discussion on expat experiences and cultural dynamics 00:00:38 Introduction to the discussion on expat experiences and cultural dynamics 00:05:12 The Wealthy Latin Guy and the Cleaning Lady 00:05:19 Life's Inequality in Latin America 00:10:08 Do the cops ever stop these kids when they're driving ATVs on the road and in neighborhoods and even on major highways? 00:10:17 The cops never stop these guys. 00:14:55 Insurance and Legal Realities for Expats in Accidents with Motorcyclists 00:16:00 The Futility of Legal Action Against Uninsured Motorcyclists 00:19:03 Protecting Property with SA Corporations: A Legal Strategy for Expats 00:19:42 The Crazy Motorcycle Culture in Latin America 00:20:32 The Gringa and Her Latin Husband's Secret Life 00:24:54 The Myth of the Happy Ending 00:25:06 A Wealthy Expat's Story 00:27:13 The Reality of Marriages with Latin Men
Transcript
Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.
[00:14] Hello there all you expat wannabes, I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the Expat Files, living in Latin America. The show that tells you just what it's like to live, work, play and or retire down here in Latin America. It's a mix of the good, the bad, the ugly and the great, and it's all right here so let's get started. Now the other day I was talking to an expat gringa, who took the plunge and married a latin guy. Now you should know that almost all first world women that end up down here in Latin America, they are highly educated, the majority having bachelor's degrees and some even masters and doctorates. So the ones that do get married end up hooking up with latin guys who are on the wealthier side and have higher educations too. In fact I've yet to see an educated gringa hook up with a lower or middle class latin
[01:00] guy, unless it was simply for a latin vacation fling, with for example a buff latin surfer dude in places on the tourist trail like Costa Rica. And I can tell you in Costa Rica and Panama and places on the tourist trail there's a lot of that going on. Well you only live once right? And if you remember about a hundred shows ago I went into great detail on that subject. Anyway about this lady expat friend of mine, she's been married to this upscale latin guy about three or four years now, and the other day I asked her how it was going. And since I've known her, since she's been down here about six or seven years, she didn't flinch and she told me some very personal things, and she told me I could lay it all out for you on my show, as long as I didn't use her name, not even her first name. So let me give you a little personal insight from her as to what it's like to be married
[01:46] to an upper middle class but not exactly rich latin guy. In other words, the family's only got one bodyguard, and he's got no Porsches, no helicopters or Harleys either. He's got that in his favor anyway. But typically, as you see for so many of these young wealthy latin guys, who you see hanging around at upscale bars and restaurants, he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. That is to say, he's not a self-made man. He's working for daddy and will inherit the business when the old man dies. Oh and by the way, just a little aside on the size of latin families. Since this upper middle class guy we're talking about that's married to my gringa friend only has two sisters to share his inheritance with. Now in a past show I mentioned that ex-pat Eddie's girlfriend has 19 aunts and uncles
[02:33] on her mother's side alone, meaning her grandmother had 20 kids that survived to adulthood. Now that's pretty much the same kind of thing that went on in the first world back when the US and Europe were agrarian societies. I mean my own grandparents on my mother's side were farmers and they had 11 kids. But you know, up in the first world those kind of gigantic family numbers just don't happen anymore. And down here in Latin America those big family numbers don't exist either, with half of the population anyway. I'm talking about that half of the latin population that live in urban settings and are fairly well educated. But the other half of the latin population, the agrarian types that live in the boonies as well as the native indigenous populations, well they still on occasion have gigantic families. So as it turns out, the lower you are on the socio-economic ladder and the farther away
[03:22] you live from the big city, the more kids you have. And it's easy to prove this out by just asking your cleaning lady how many kids she has. And by the way down here in Latin America it seems like everyone knows a girl from some family who had a kid at 14 or 15 years old. And you'll hear stories like that from cleaning ladies all the time. In fact, my own gardener who's got nine brothers and sisters himself is married and has five kids too. And get this, a few months ago he told me with some pride and happiness that he was going to be a grandfather and he's about 35. Turns out his 14 year old daughter just got knocked up and he didn't seem a bit upset about it, it seemed all so natural to him. But again like I said he fits the profile, he lives out in the boonies, he's got about a third or fourth grade education and he's got at least 50% indigenous blood.
[04:09] So yes you could say there's a kind of a baby boom going on down here in Latin America and just like in the rest of the third and the fourth world there always seems to be a baby boom. And unfortunately the babies being born have the least chance and opportunity at success since their poorly educated parents are not very good role models. But wealthy Latins look at this thing differently. Once you get to know these guys they'll tell you right out that if it wasn't for the indigenous people and lower socioeconomic classes there would be no cheap labor in Latin America and thus no $300 a month cleaning ladies, maintenance guys and bodyguards. So the question is should us expats feel guilty about taking advantage of that system ourselves? I mean after all we're hiring those cleaning ladies and maintenance guys too. Well as one old timer expat told me, he said Johnny you know what my cleaning lady's been
[04:59] with me about 12 years and one of her kids is going to college. The first kid ever in that family to go past sixth grade. And guess what? He wouldn't be going to college if it wasn't for me and the little extras I provide for that family. Okay Johnny you tell me one wealthy latin guy that would do that for his cleaning lady. And I had to agree with him 100%. We know life isn't fair and down here it's even more obvious than it is up in the first world. But like I said he's right. I don't know of any gringo expats who have cleaning ladies and gardeners and stuff who don't go that extra mile to help those families out. Unlike your upper class and wealthy latins who treat their help like non-entities like they're not even there. And when you see that for yourself it could make you squirm. So in one way us gringos and expats are taking advantage of the system.
[05:46] But also as employers we always try to give our household workers a leg up. Just one of the reasons why everyone wants to work for a gringo. But anyway let's get back to the latin husband of that 20 something well educated expat lady friend of mine. So he is one of those guys born with a silver spoon in his mouth though not a tablespoon just a teaspoon. Now let me give you some background on the situation. First of all this guy was married before so he's got two kids. Two teenage kids. Kids that are going to expensive private bilingual schools who are according to her spoiled rotten. But nobody in his family can see that because all the kids were spoiled rotten. Dad included. And she rolls her eyes when she tells me about these kids. I can tell there's no love lost there. Now she came from a middle class California family and her dad was a civil engineer and
[06:34] her mom was a teacher. And she was the kind that worked her way through college and paid for everything she had with her own money. So like she says it's very hard to be around her husband's kids since they just have to ask or whine and they get exactly what they want. Not to mention they can do no wrong and there's no discipline at all. Hey you guys up north does that sound familiar. Now remember she's never been married before so any woman could have that kind of reaction to someone else's kids she's just inherited. Now here's the thing. She sees these kids almost every weekend. They're living with their mom of course. But my expat lady friends know dummy and she can tell the boy is really into drugs. She says he's like a clone of a 15 year old goth kid in middle school up in the states. And when she told her new husband what she suspected and she knew she was right.
[07:21] It didn't even register with the guy. And that was really no surprise to her because the kids were practically 100% brought up by maids nannies and cleaning ladies. And she says her step daughter who's about 16 is very pretty but naive. And all the guys are flocking around her and she just knows something bad is going to happen to her. She calls her the weekend party disco queen and she's already smashed up two of her cars which her dad bought her of course and she was drunk coming home from the bars when it happened. And get this. One of the car accidents she had was when she was 15 and of course down here in Latin America you can't get your license till you're 16 so obviously she was driving without. And guess what? Her dad knew it and he let her. When she'd come begging for the car he'd give her the keys to one of his.
[08:08] And since he was rarely home anyway she'd just take the car when she felt like it. Oh and by the way the 15 year old goth kid with the strategically torn mega death t-shirts has his own motorcycle and he doesn't have his license either. But never mind he wind enough and his dad bought him a bike. And since daddy's got a little beach house on the Pacific Ocean the kids have a bunch of motorized toys there too. They've got a jet ski and one of those little four wheel drive Yamaha ATVs and those things cost about six to ten grand. And the kid crashed that thing three or four times too. Oh and by the way just because they've got a beach house with ocean frontage don't think they're super rich. On the Pacific side of Latin America especially Central America you could get a beach house for fifty to a hundred grand easily.
[08:54] A nice three bedroom place including a pool. And if you have a beach house you gotta have a pool because the ocean there is not very nice. For one thing the shore is made up of dark black or grayish colored sand. And that's because of all the volcanoes in the area of course. And the water is not clear it's murky and not very nice to swim in. And not only is black or dark gray sand ugly it's way too hot to walk on with bare feet. And that's what you'll find on much of the Pacific side of Latin America. So you can get a nice cheap beautiful beach house on the Pacific Ocean. But it's nothing like having one on the beautiful white sand Caribbean side. But note that on the Pacific side there are very few hurricanes. While on the Caribbean side you get them all the time. Oh and another thing that fifteen year old kid who continuously crashes that ATV.
[09:43] He like all the little entitled kids that go to the beach house on weekends. They just don't drive those little ATVs on the sand along the beach. They take them out on the main road and head out to some of the small towns adjacent to those beach strips. And they race and they hang out at the bars and do what wild teenage kids do who've got a little money. And parents who can buy them out of any mess that they get in. Now remember these are kids who are underage and don't have licenses. You might ask, do the cops ever stop these kids when they're driving these ATVs on the road and in neighborhoods and even on major highways? Well in a word, no. The cops never stop these guys. Even though of course you can't get the things licensed, there's no plates to put on them. It's kind of like they get a free pass from the cops and everybody else.
[10:28] Because you see at six grand and up only wealthy people can afford to give these things to their kids. And the cops well they have a kind of a hands off policy with wealthy folks. And it's kind of understood that you can just drive these things anywhere. In fact, even when you're in a big city of a million or so people, sooner or later you're going to see some young kids driving these things down the road. And in fact, I've seen kids as young as seven, maybe eight years old driving these things in the city. And of course at the beach I've seen these little things piled high with young kids. And their parents just seem to encourage it. That way the kids are out of their hair. So in a nutshell, that's what my ex-pat lady friend inherited when she got married. Now about her 15 year old step-son who's got a motorcycle and no license. Well my gringa friend says she's had that discussion with her new husband and he just
[11:18] says he did the same thing too when he was that age. Turns out he cracked up his share of cars and motorcycles too. Oh and here's a little fact I think you're really going to like. Throughout Latin America you'll notice that there are massive numbers of motorcycles so many of those whiny little things that you just want to, well you know what I mean. And nearly all of these little rice burners have tiny little motors on them. I'd say the average engine size is like 100 to 125cc, kind of like a weed whacker on wheels. And about 90% of all motorcycles in Latin America are completely unknown brands from China and India. And believe me these things are really cheap in more ways than one. That's why so many of these imports have flooded the market. In fact you see ads in the paper all the time at 1000 to 1200 bucks a pop which is pretty
[12:05] unbelievable. So 90% of these bikes are off brands from China or India. And the other 10% at double the price are motorcycles with tiny motors too but they're name brands like Honda or Yamaha or Kawasaki. And the advantage there is that you could actually get parts for those bikes. Then of course there are the wealthy guys that buy BMWs and Harleys. But only about 1 in maybe 5000 bikes are high end like that. But the point is and what you didn't know is that about half of all motorcycle riders in Latin America do not have a driver's license. And when you see them doing crazy things which they do all the time like riding on the sidewalk, going the wrong way down a one way, ripping through red lights, bulldozing and wiggling their way through traffic jams or occasionally clipping your mirror or laying a big scratch
[12:52] in the side of your car which has happened to me at least a half dozen times by the way. Well the fact is no matter how many laws he breaks nothing will happen to him. That's a fact of life down here. Unless he gets into a severe accident and can't run or walk away from it he'll just slip through the cracks every time. Because you see the cops do not get into chases with motorcycles and they rarely chase passenger cars either. But you see even when they try to flag a motorcyclist down at a road block they don't stop. They just whip right on by. Unless of course it's a gringo on a bike then you're like a trained seal when you see an authority figure and you do pull over. Such is our ingrained Pavlovian response to anyone in uniform. But locals on bikes they just laugh and keep on going. Oh and by the way here's another surprising fact.
[13:38] In some Latin countries a good 50% of the motorcycle drivers are driving around with a missing headlight or tail light which means at night on the highway these guys are like phantoms. And I guarantee you if you drive down here at night you're going to have frequent encounters with these guys and it's not going to be pretty. Now it just so happens that the gringo that I was talking about that married the Latin guy. She got into a car accident with a motorcycle in broad daylight just a couple of weeks ago. And naturally it was the motorcyclist's fault. He ran a red light. Well she had a big SUV so she pulverized his bike and put the guy in the hospital for about three days. And wouldn't you know it the guy did not have a license. And what did the cops do? Well when the insurance company showed up about half an hour later. Her insurance of course because the motorcyclist didn't carry insurance.
[14:28] And even though motorcycle insurance is so damn cheap. Like around a hundred bucks a year for full coverage. It turns out only motorcycles on the payment plan people still paying them off are carrying that insurance because the finance company or the dealer requires it. And then as soon as the bikes paid off nobody and I mean nobody except those high end Harley and BMW motorcycle drivers are smart enough to carry insurance. So you can figure that about one in five thousand motorcyclists have insurance. Pretty pathetic huh? So anyway when the insurance guy finally arrived on the scene. She the expat gringo the insurance guy and the cops had a pow wow while the ambulance dragged this guy to the hospital. They had a quick meeting to decide what to do with this guy who had no license no insurance
[15:16] and the accident was his fault. Well to the cops it was routine and no big deal. That's the way it happens all the time they said. And the insurance company of course would pay for her cars damages and naturally would not have to pay for the bike that was destroyed because whether it was his fault or not. The guy didn't have a license so therefore didn't have any right to be on the road in the first place. But you see they gave her a choice to make. She could either press charges against this kid who was about 20 years old and believe it or not had the responsible position of a bank teller. Anyway if she did press charges eventually when it got the court who knows 2 3 4 5 months from then the judge would order him to pay all the damages within a certain period of time on some kind of payment plan.
[16:02] But the insurance adjuster warned her. Now remember he's on her side that's her insurance company. He said it didn't matter whether the judge said he had to pay $10 or a million dollars he won't pay his cent. It almost always happens that way. Then in 6 months or a year she could go back to court again and get another judgment against the guy. Maybe even garnish his wages. That is if he's still working at the bank. And maybe they'll even make him do some jail time. But guess what? When you go back to court the second time and try to get a judgment against him the cops will try to serve him a warrant at his house or at his place of work and even if they do find him he'll take the papers and not show up in court at all. And both of you can keep playing that game forever except you're the one who's going to be taking the time off and paying lawyers. So in the end the insurance adjuster just advised her not to press charges.
[16:52] In other words drop it. And her insurance company who had to pay for her damages even though they're supposed to go after this guy to reimburse them they won't because they know it's a lost cause. And like my gringa expat friend told me it's punishment enough for the guy to have his bike destroyed and have to spend three days at one of those terrible government hospitals. Where it stinks like a morgue and there's wall to wall people in the emergency room and you don't get treated for six hours or so. And that's on a good day. Only if your brains are hanging out will they fit you in between the broken bones and the gunshot wounds. And by the way I know a doctor who works part time at one of those public hospitals and he told me he actually brings his own gloves, masks and syringes because if he didn't there
[17:38] wouldn't be any. Hey now there's a business opportunity for an expat. Put up a little basic medical supply kiosk in front of every public hospital. And you can sell the gloves, the masks, the syringes, the toilet paper and everything else that's in short supply in those hospitals. Anyway there you have it. That's a fairly normal sequence of events when you collide with a motorcycle. And since nearly 100% of the time it's the motorcyclist's fault, that's why eventually every gringo and expat will get some advice off the record from his lawyer saying don't stop don't wait around step on the gas and get the hell out of there. Because you see down here in Latin America many many accidents with motorcycles involve fatalities. In fact you see graphic photos of motorcycle fatalities in the Latin papers every single
[18:25] day. And when that happens it's a completely different story. It doesn't matter who's right or who's wrong or if he's got a license or not. If he or any of the other four passengers on his bike happen to die. Even if you have insurance your car will be impounded and you just might spend some time in jail before they sort it all out. And another thing and this is important. You can bet that if your car or your house is in your name personally some lawyer for the family of the dead motorcyclist is going to take you to court and attach your property. And that's why all smart gringos and expats buy their houses and their cars and their properties through SA corporations. That way they don't put any of their real property under their own names. Then if all five people on that motorcycle happen to die you might end up in jail for
[19:14] a few days before they've sorted it all out. But there won't be a chance in hell that you'll lose any of your property. And by the way you think I'm joking when I say all four or five people on that motorcycle. Well I'm not. In fact many years ago when I first got down here to Latin America I'd take a photo here and there of three on a bike and I'd send it up to friends up in the states just to show them how nuts the drivers were down here. But soon I realized three on a bike was nothing. I'd see four on a bike and I took pictures and sent them up to the states too. Now I know it's hard to believe but there are ways to get five and even six people on a 125cc rice burner. I've seen it. I've got pictures of it. You see if you're a one motorcycle family and you have a lot of little children and babies and a decent amount of baskets, saddlebags and bungee cords anything is possible.
[20:01] In fact I've got a photo which I think just might be an award winning photo of five people on a motorcycle. No helmets of course. Like that would make a difference even though it's the law. Anyway they pulled over to the side of the road by an ice cream kiosk right next to two cops standing there slurping down their own ice cream. And one of the cops has a big smile on his face as he hands one of the kids on the bike his ice cream. Yep, it's that good old Latin American happiness factor rearing its ugly head again. I can't believe I just said that. But let's get back to our gringa and her latin husband. So anyway when I asked her how are things really going she said with a smirk on her face well I found out my husband goes about once a week to a happy ending health spa slash
[20:48] massage parlor. She said she found out some months ago that this was going on when she went in the den to use the computer and on the bottom of the screen where there were a few windows closed down she clicked them to see what they were and one was a website for one of these massage parlor spas and she said she didn't think much of it at the time but when she next got together with her girlfriends educated latinas married to upper class latin guys too she mentioned this spa business and two of her friends came right out and said yeah we know ours go to those places too to which my expat lady friend replied what do you mean those places and her latina friends rolled their eyes and said well you know men they have their urges and to that the gringa said they could be getting a normal rub down in a massage
[21:35] I mean people do that all the time I do that. Then one of her friends said you just keep thinking that it's better that way so when my gringa friend got home she called up that spa and asked them what kind of services they provided and it sounded professional enough over the phone then she said I'd like to make an appointment for myself and the receptionist hesitated a bit and said I'm sorry but this is a gentleman spa and that's all my expat lady friend wanted to know now she said she knew all about latin men and how they flirt and all that macho stuff and before she agreed to get married to her latin guy she had a nice long talk with him about infidelity and related subjects and she didn't even have to tell me the rest of the story I know these latin guys when they're in the throes of love and lust especially when they've fallen for
[22:21] a first world gringa a rare prize for any latin guy anyway faced with that situation they'll agree to anything so naturally like any 21st century first world woman she confronted her husband about the spa she said he stambered a bit then went on the defensive he said it was something that all his latin buddies did and their wives all knew about it and didn't care he explained that it was part of the male culture and that it had nothing to do with his love for his family or his wife it's just the way that all latin guys relax when they're stressed and then he went on the offensive saying I'm a good provider don't I give you everything you want blah blah blah and she said he was so damn logical about it he almost had her convinced that latin guys were just like that but after all being a first world woman she
[23:08] told him she was gonna go away for a while going back up to the states and said that she might not come back and so for the next hour or so they had a long drawn-out discussion and finally he promised her on his mother's and his grandmother's and his great-grandmother's grave to never go to a massage parlor again and then she said Johnny you know what I believe him he was so repentant that he actually broke down and cried and now me I'm thinking oh great she just fell for the oldest latin bad boy guilt trip in the book crying when you're caught red-handed screwing around then she asked my opinion she said Johnny what do you think what would you do if you were me now I could be totally honest with her because I've known her a long time and I didn't know her husband that well
[23:54] at all to me he seemed like a nice enough spoiled rich guy who even though he had a business admin degree from an expensive private university in Chile Mon Roy University would be he just wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer but he was very good at discussing sports so we didn't click very well anyway I didn't let on that I thought he was a poser but he was and I know it's delicate to talk about such things so as not to stir up any more crap I just told her you knew when you came down here what the latin guys were like then I said so you're really going back up to the states and she said no I was just really mad so I bluffed then she smiled and said Johnny I think everything's gonna turn out alright anyway because guess what I'm pregnant and she just seems so thrilled with it and wanted me to be thrilled about it too so I put on my best smiley face and congratulated her
[24:43] and all that but you know I really wouldn't want to put a bet on her future happiness with that guy you see I've seen that scenario play itself out a number of times and it always seems to end the same Latin guy marries gringa they live happily ever after they really do until she has a baby then after she becomes the dutiful mom he falls right back in the old patterns again now on that note I'll tell you another story a fairly wealthy expat gringo friend of mine who made his money down here in Latin America a few years back he married an upscale Colombian woman whose father was a wealthy landowner and he told me one day shortly after they got married he was shocked when his wife told him right out with a straight face that she knew men had their so-called animal urges and that she didn't like it but she understood if he did occasionally find it necessary to have
[25:33] other avenues but she said she had two conditions one was that he would never look for a girlfriend or support a mistress and two if and when he did go to one of those massage parlors or nightclubs he was never to mention it to her she didn't want to know about it and my friend a totally honest and upright guy told me he was shocked and surprised and didn't know what to say that his brand new wife would have that kind of discussion with him but as he said after a while as he got to know her brothers and her father he realized that probably all Latin women either came to terms with that in their men or they just spend a lot of time thinking about it and being miserable now some years have passed since then and you're probably wondering if my expat gringle friend frequents
[26:21] those happy ending massage parlors or not well I have to admit that on occasion he does and he makes no apologies about it and it's not as if he does it because he feels his wife has given him some kind of implicit permission he occasionally goes to those places because in his business he has meetings with occasional out-of-town clients and all his clients are Latinos anyway like he told me a long time ago as soon as these clients get into town and he picks him up at the airport or hotel and they go out to dinner the very next words out of the mouths of these guys are let's go to a massage parlor or a nightclub and down here in Latin America all nightclubs without exception are combination strip club bordellos so bottom line female expats know this if you're married
[27:07] to a Latin guy even if you got the rare one who's totally faithful to you on the home front all bets are off when he's off doing business in another town okay before we finish here I'd like to give you an update on my Latin American seminar which will take place in the third week of June people are still scrambling for seats and I have a few spots left so just go to expat wisdom calm click on the seminar link and I promise you won't be disappointed south of the border down Mexico way you've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America coming to you each week from somewhere south of the border and don't forget you can email me on anything at all about Latin America the expat files at gmail.com see you next time she was a picture