Episode Summary
In this episode, Johnny Mueller discusses the challenges expats face with the written form of Spanish, even when they are fluent in spoken Spanish. He highlights how terms like 'visa buela' and 'visa buelo' can be confusing for expats, despite being common in speech. He also touches on the complexity of family terms in Spanish, which can be more intricate than in English.
In another segment, Johnny explores the cultural perception of in-laws, particularly mother-in-law and father-in-law, in Latin America. He explains that the terms 'suegra' and 'suegro' are used for mother-in-law and father-in-law, respectively, and that these terms carry no negative connotations in Latin culture. He notes that many Latin men have a soft spot for their mother-in-law and that she often takes the side of her son-in-law in marital disputes.
Johnny also discusses the cultural nuances of language use among expats in Latin America, emphasizing that Latin Americans are generally more forgiving of gringo language mistakes. He provides examples of common language missteps, such as using the word 'caliente' in a way that can be interpreted as sexually suggestive. He also mentions the term 'coriente' as an insult for low-class individuals and humorously suggests solutions to address such behavior.
In another segment, Johnny highlights the dietary habits of Latin Americans, emphasizing the use of hot peppers, chilies, lemons, and limes for their health benefits. He explains the unique use of lemons and limes in Latin American cuisine and the confusion between these fruits. He also touches on the Spanish language's unique way of expressing the sensation of heat from spicy food, using the phrase 'pica pica pica' instead of 'caliente' or 'calor'.
Johnny further delves into the nuances of the Spanish language, particularly the confusion between the words 'pica' and 'pico,' and how they relate to the slang term 'picaro,' which refers to a cheeky or sexually aggressive person. He explains the gender-specific endings of Spanish nouns and how these can lead to misunderstandings. He also highlights the social dynamics in Latin America, where sexual harassment of women is common and often seen as normal, especially for lower-class men.
Finally, Johnny discusses the origin and usage of the word 'suegra' in Latin cultures, explaining how it refers to a mother-in-law and reflects the cultural dynamics of Latin societies. He notes that while most married Latins don't face typical mother-in-law issues as seen in other cultures, Latin mothers often have high expectations for their sons' spouses, especially when those partners are non-Latin.
Topics
Language learning challenges for expats, Differences between spoken and written Spanish, Cultural nuances in family terms in Spanish, Cultural perception of in-laws, Language and cultural misunderstandings, Expatriate experiences in Latin America, Social norms and etiquette, Cultural dynamics in Latin America, Dietary habits and health benefits of hot peppers and citrus fruits, Sexual harassment and social norms, Slang and its implications
Chapters
00:00:00 Opening 00:00:19 Living in Latin America 00:00:20 The Show's Focus on Life in Latin America 00:00:25 The Show's Content Overview 00:00:26 The Show's Content Overview Continued 00:00:31 Getting Started with the Show 00:00:33 Challenges with Spanish Language Learning 00:00:36 The Importance of Not Getting Overconfident 00:05:50 Mother-in-Law in Latin Culture: No Negative Connotations 00:06:31 Gringos and Expats: Advantages in Latin Families 00:10:23 Understanding the Term 'Con Suegro' for Children's In-Laws 00:10:49 Gringo Language Mistakes and Cultural Forgiveness 00:11:07 The Gringo Advantage in Language Use 00:11:28 Cultural Nuances in Spanish Language Use 00:12:06 Insults and Humor in Latin American Culture 00:13:47 The Social Faux Pas of Using 'Caliente' 00:14:53 Cultural Misunderstandings and Mutual Respect 00:15:44 Cultural Nuances in Dating Latin Americans 00:16:15 Dietary Habits and Health Benefits of Citrus Fruits 00:19:54 Language Nuances in Spanish: Describing Heat and Insect Bites 00:21:55 The Meaning of 'Pico' and 'Pica' in Spanish 00:22:20 The Slang Term 'Picaro' and Its Implications 00:23:36 Challenges Faced by Women in Latin America 00:26:44 Origin of the Word 'Suegra' 00:26:53 Cultural Use of 'Suegra' 00:27:02 Contradictions in Mother-in-Law Relationships
Transcript
Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.
[00:14] Hello there all you expat wannabes, I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the Expat Files, living in Latin America. The show that tells you just what it's like to live, work, play and or retire down here in Latin America. It's a mix of the good, the bad, the ugly and the great, and it's all right here so let's get started. Now after you're down here a while and you're actually picking up on Spanish terms pretty well, or at least you think you are, my advice to you is never get overconfident. Just when you think you've progressed from stumbling gringo to someone who's finally got a pretty good handle on the language, suddenly when you're all smug and pleased with yourself about it, you get beamed out of nowhere with a couple of linguistic curveballs. I'm referring to Spanish words that don't seem to have any rhyme or reason or pattern when you see them in writing, yet in conversation those same words and phrases aren't confusing
[01:03] or confounding at all, and vice versa. In other words, like English, the written and the spoken versions of the language are quite different, and I'm not just talking about slang here either, in fact I can't tell you how many countless times I've read a Spanish paper or tried to read a book written in Spanish via Spanish author, and it seems to be flowing along pretty well, then somewhere along the line I stop and scratch my head and say, how in the hell they'd come up with that? I don't get it, what are they saying? That doesn't make sense. Then at that point I just kind of blow off the next couple of words and keep trudging along, hoping I didn't skip through some crucial point or plot line, you know? And that's why I'd say about 95% of us gringos and expats who actually know our conversational Spanish pretty well, maybe 80% or so, we can read the newspapers and the articles and the
[01:52] The fact is, in my 20 something years down here, I've encountered practically zero gringos and expats who read books and literature in Spanish for enjoyment or the pleasure of doing so. Because I'll tell you right now, no matter how good you think your Spanish is, it's your second language so it's hard work. And some of us, I'll admit, have tried to pick up the award-winning Spanish literary giants like the Lorca who've won Nobel prizes for their stuff, and still it's just not easy going. So unfortunately we just don't get the same emotional experience native Spanish speakers get when they're plowing through that stuff. And by the way, the only Latins that read that classic Spanish literature are ones that have to because it's an assignment in class. Sound familiar? Anyway, to me and 95% of the rest of us who think we know our Spanish pretty well,
[02:38] if you want a humbling experience, try reading some classic Latin literature. Now that's not to say that once in a while you don't see a pure first world gringo actually toting a Spanish novel or two around with them. So yes, there are scant few gringos that do enjoy Spanish literature. But tell you right now I've never met a gringle like that who wasn't a first world Spanish teacher or a person who majored in Spanish in college. Meaning these guys and gals had a lot of practice reading Spanish novels and literature as class assignments too back in the day. So just know that you'll come across many words and phrases in Spanish literature that won't make sense to you. Because like I said before, the written word and the spoken word can be quite different. Just like in English. For example, I can't remember when I first heard the word visa buela. But I do know that I heard the word in conversation
[03:24] many many times for years before I ever saw it in print or on the written page. Again that word is visa buela or visa buelo. The first one meaning great grandmother and the second one meaning great grandfather. That's visa buela and visa buelo. Now ever since I heard those two words, I was struck by the odd fact that instead of saying great grandmother or great grandfather, which would logically be gran abuela or gran abuelo. Gran meaning great or grand in Spanish. But it doesn't turn out that way. Instead they put the word vice in front of abuela like vice president or vice principal or vice chairman. Which believe me makes a word like visa buela very easy to remember for a gringo. Since it is so strange yet familiar. You know what I mean? So anyway I've been
[04:10] hearing those words for years visa buela and visa buelo. But by coincidence I'd never seen the words written down before till about two years ago. And then to my surprise I found out that it's not spelled v-i-c-e abuela as I thought all along the way it sounds. But instead of vice it's b-i-s b-i-s b-i-s abuela b-i-s abuela. Though as you might know in the Spanish language a lot of times the B is pronounced as a V. V as in vice. And though us grangos know that rule from taking Spanish classes we often have a mental block when we see that B written and have to switch in our brain to a V right away and say it. Seems that fourth grade English phonics class kicks in and overrides everything. So anyway for the better part of maybe 10 years I thought the word visa buela
[04:58] great-grandmother followed the same scheme as vice chairman or vice president in English. But it only sounds that way. Anyway for me I used it as a memorization peg even though I was completely wrong about it. Ignorance is bliss but it worked for me. Oh and by the way in Spanish when talking about distant relations things can and do get mighty confusing believe me. In fact those terms are much more complicated than the ones we know in English. For example down here if one of your kids is married the father of the person he or she is married to is the father-in-law right? Now get this there's also a particular word for that guy's relationship to you. He's not just your kids father-in-law or in the other case mother-in-law. And by the way in Spanish the word mother-in-law is suegra and father-in-law is suegro.
[05:46] That's suegra and suegro. And believe it or not down here in Latin America the term mother-in-law has no negative connotations at all. In fact it's not a single married Latin guy I know who doesn't seem to really like or have a soft spot for his mother-in-law. Down here the word mother-in-law or suegra is not a dirty word. In fact I heard from all my married Latin and gringle friends that if anything their mother-in-law dotes on them. Not to mention in any marital battle big or small the Latin mother-in-law seems to take the son-in-law aside even when he's the one in the wrong. So she'll generally take the side against her own daughter and that only goes to show how the macho thing really dominates down here. And in regards to gringos and gringas and expats marrying into Latin families well let me tell you that's when the
[06:31] gringo advantage really kicks in. Talk about being the fair-haired one of the family and you probably will be literally. Now as politically incorrect as it sounds and so what you do want to hear what it's really like for gringos and expats down here don't you? Anyway as you might have guessed already it really is the unspoken dream of every Latin family sometimes spoken to. To lighten up and heighten up the bloodline and a gringo or gringo in the family can really help in that regard. Since so many of us first world people are taller have lighter hair and lighter skin and lighter eyes than the average Latin we do add those little extra touches to the Latin gene pool and they know it. Not to mention every gringo and expat I know including backpackers have more education skills earning power and worldliness than your average Latin
[07:18] person. And sometimes individual gringos and expats have more of those traits than a whole average Latin family put together. And yes I know that too is quite politically incorrect but it's easy to prove so don't go sending me emails telling me I'm a jerk for saying it. Okay I might be a jerk but not for telling it like it is you know. Anyway since we're on the subject of Latin mother-in-laws, suegres, you'll find that they almost never butt into your business. Now that's not to say they don't have an opinion about every little thing and that they won't disagree with you sometimes but if something's really bothering them they won't blow up and go into a rant. Instead they'll go behind your back to your husband or wife and let them know about it. And they won't do it in a sneaky way I don't mean that. It's just their way of handling things as to not get into an argument or make a scene because you see
[08:05] in general Latins are very cordial and rarely blow up or cause an embarrassing scene. And contrary to what you may have heard about fiery Latin tempers and all that, the only time I've ever seen that in a married couple or with a guy in a gal who've been an item for a while is when cheating or jealousy was involved. And believe me I could do 10 half-hour shows on the subject of Latin jealousy alone but I'm not gonna go there. But I promise someday I'll let you in on it. That's why expat Eddie always says be sure to put a padlock on the knife drawer in the kitchen and that's not to protect you from your mother-in-law, your suegro. Like I said before she'll take your side in almost any battle no matter who's right or wrong. Okay then what about your Latin father-in-law your suegro? That's suegro with an O on the end. Well let
[08:51] me tell you again I know a lot of gringos and gringas who are married to Latin's and the father-in-law the suegro he stays in the background and keeps out of pretty much any marital controversy his kids might get into. He's generally just a nice passive guy who sits in his easy chair and watches the sports channels no matter what kind of trauma is going down in the household. Unless of course it involves him. Then that padlock on the knife drawer in the kitchen is there to protect him from his wife your suegro. But that's a completely different scenario though a very common one. Now of course I'm generalizing about the mother-in-law and father-in-law thing but life is all about generalizations and there's always exceptions to the rules. But the truth is I hear the same stories over and over from my expat friends male and
[09:37] female who are married to Latin's. And the temperaments of the mother-in-law and father-in-law and Latin family seem pretty much universal. But I digress though this time not by much at least I stayed on the same subject kind of. I never did finish that bit about what you'd call your kids father-in-law or mother-in-law if your kid was married to a Latina or Latino. Like I said earlier in Latin America you just wouldn't say that person's my kids father-in-law or mother-in-law. You wouldn't even end up calling your kids father-in-law by his proper name like Joe Smith or Peter Martinez or whatever. You'd tell everyone he was your con suegro that's con suegro. And remember I just said that your own father-in-law is called your suegro but your kids father-in-law
[10:23] to you would be called your con suegro. Confused yet? You should be. I was and still am. Anyway do note that no matter how long you're down here oddball linguistic things like that are just gonna pop up. But also note you won't have to remember that minutia. As long as you can get your Spanish up to about 60 or 70 percent you'll get the drift of almost every casual conversation. And no matter how many ways from Sunday you screw up the Spanish language when talking to a Latin they're not at all likely to put you on the spot or laugh or make fun of you. If anything they'll be extra nice to you because they want to be your friend. So do be prepared when you get extra help and assistance from people who you meet on the street and you don't even know. So don't be embarrassed about giving your Spanish a try no matter how bad you think it is. Which is yet another part of that gringo advantage because
[11:10] down here in Latin America gringos get points just for trying. And here's another example where Latins give us a lot of slack since so many of us make this particular screw-up even when we think we know our Spanish well and we've been down here a long time. Now when it's hot out like it often is down here in the tropics there's a certain way to address and talk about that issue in Spanish that can be quite suggestive even offensive to Latin ladies that is depending on how you phrase it. And this is where gringos screw up a lot though Latin ladies will never call you on it they might roll their eyes a bit. However if a Latin guy phrase it the exact same way as a clueless gringo did the lady would consider the guy crude maybe walk off in a huff or even think about slapping him in the face. And though she'll probably never do that she'll more than likely ignore the guy completely but still be very insulted.
[11:58] And again down here in Latin America one of the most popular words for a person who's crude and insulting or an obviously low-class person in general is the word coriente. Coriente. In fact it's a good insult word for gringos to remember too. So feel free to use it anytime you see a guy pull over and piss on the side of the road. Just yell out coriente and he'll feel at least a tinge of embarrassment. Or you can yell out serdo which means pig. That'll work too or use them both. Serdo coriente which means low-class pig. And by the way if you really want to make an impression on a low-class guy like that after you yell serdo coriente whip out your cell phone take a photo and at the same time beep your horn so he knows you're doing it. Then I guarantee he'll think twice about ever doing that again. Which brings me back to that idea I had a
[12:44] few years ago of creating a website solely dedicated to being a urination hall of shame. Where people who took photos of guys like that could post them up on a website permanently. So for any of you expat guys and gals living down here in Latin America with plenty of time on your hands and like I said so many times before you will have time on your hands. Anyway there's an idea for you that will surely help clean up the place. And if you're thinking well these poor low-class guys that pee everywhere they surely don't have internet or internet skills so they'll never see themselves up on a site like that. So how are they gonna get embarrassed into being model citizens? Well remember all classes of Latin guys even the very wealthy ones will just pull over and pee on the side of the road. Or for that matter pretty much anywhere they feel like. So at least you could post photos of pompous jerks
[13:31] and Mercedes and Range Rovers doing that low-class thing. And they have smartphones and all that so eventually it will come back to haunt them. So then maybe there is one good use for Facebook after all. Anyway here's the story on us Gringos who occasionally pull a social faux pas when using the word caliente or hot around Latin women. So the standard Spanish word for hot is caliente. Like when you stick your finger on a hot stove. This stove is caliente. So let's say it's a very hot day at the beach and everyone's sweating and you say to the girl next to you I'm so hot aren't you? Estoy caliente y tu? Well needless to say you just committed a huge social faux pas. You just told her that you were sexually excited and asked her if she was too. And what you should have used was the word calor which refers to heat or
[14:18] temperature. Which doesn't make a lot of sense when you translate it to English. For example you'd say tiene calor. Do you have heat? Or tango mucho calor which means I have a lot of heat. Which wouldn't make much sense in English right? If you are in Cleveland and someone said to you do you have heat you'd be thinking why is he asking me about my furnace? Or maybe he's just wondering if you're wanted by the cops. Who knows? Or maybe he's wondering if you're packing heat. Confusing right? So if us expats who've been down here a while have that kind of trouble with the Spanish language imagine the difficulty native Spanish speakers have with English. Yet there are so many gringles up north who like to make fun of Latins who don't speak English perfectly or when they screw up. Just remember that down here they give us a lot more slack and don't make fun of us. At least in all the years I've
[15:04] been here I've never seen that happen. So anyway so many gringles who don't know any better and we're just trying to be polite often ask a person who looks a little sweaty uncomfortable if they're hot galliente. And if it was a Latin guy saying that to a Latin woman it could either end up being an insult or a sexually loaded phrase that most definitely won't be appreciated. Not under normal circumstances anyway. But seriously when a gringo makes that kind of reference Latin women overlook it with no hard feelings at all. Except for maybe a slightly startled look in the eye. They chalk it up to one of our gringo idiosyncrasies with the language. And believe me that's not the only way we make our cultural ignorance known. Now the thing is when we inadvertently stick our left foot in the cow pie like that most often Latins let it slide completely and never even give us a hint that we're screwing up. Sometimes
[15:52] the only way you find out is if you date a Latin guy or gal for a while and soon enough they'll clue you in on those little cultural subtleties. And though as gringos we almost always get away with that kind of stuff. No harm done. If you're dating a Latina or a Latina they don't want their better half to continuously look like a fool. And here's another interesting Spanish language twist on that. Now you know that Latin America is the land of hot peppers right? And by the way besides the usual Latin American staples like refried beans and tacos and tortillas and stuff the two uncooked natural foods that Latins use 10 or a hundred times more frequently than we do up in Cleveland are one hot peppers and chilies and two lemons and limes. And both of course are very good for us. The chilies and the peppers for their
[16:38] ability to kill bad intestinal bacteria and horrible intestinal parasites like tapeworms. Yuck. And that's why so many anthropologists and scientists say it's the reason why they're found so predominantly in tropical and desert regions. Places where until maybe only the last 50 years they've had any kind of refrigeration. Down here food left standing can go bad in a matter of an hour or two unless doused with chilies and hot peppers. And as for the lemons well they do much of the same thing and more due to their vitamin C content but that addiction to lemons you see all over down here has caused some problems. If you talk to dentists they'll tell you a good quarter of the from being repeatedly doused with citric acid from all those lemons. The fact is
[17:27] down here at the average Latin Americans dinner table you'll almost always find a bowl of lemons. Not to mention I know quite a few Latin men and women myself who just love sucking on a big fresh lemon. And I don't get it it's too intense for me. I've tried it. Whoa. So if you're down here you will see that. And though infinitely preferable to a junk food habit it is quite hard on the teeth. And by the way down here in Latin America you'll rarely see pure yellow lemons. They're almost always lime green. So when you get down here your first guess would be they've got limes everywhere but no lemons. And those limes they're gigantic nothing like those little puny ones we have back home. Now as far as lemons if you let the green lemons mature they will turn yellow. They'll look exactly like yellow lemons you buy up in the
[18:14] States. But that's not the way the locals pick them and eat them. For some reason that no one's ever been able to explain to me. Many of the mature yellow lemons don't have nearly as much juice inside as the green ones. So it doesn't make sense to pick them yellow. And by the way there's another kind of fruit down here that looks exactly like a green lime. And the same small size too but it's called a lima. L-I-M-A. So down here you've got lemons which are called limones. And lemons that look exactly like limes but are much sweeter. In fact they taste like a cross between a lemon and an orange. But that's not all. When you're down here and you check out one of the big markets you'll see about a half dozen other kinds of citric fruits that you've never seen up in Cleveland. And you won't see them all at one time in the market
[19:00] because they're seasonal. And what are their names? Well it beats me. I pretty much tried them all but who can remember those names? In fact depending where you are in Latin America sometimes the same fruit has a couple of names. Usually a straight Spanish name and an indigenous local name that's become a kind of a nickname for that fruit. They all have that typical citric fruit skin and look. So naturally they're very acidic. But aside from that they do taste quite different from each other. So when you do come down experiment and make some lemonade or limeade or limaade or whatever. You've got at least a half dozen choices. But let's get back to hot peppers and chilies. The fact is if you bite into a real hot one or want to yell out in Spanish that the chili you
[19:46] just ate is burning a hole through your tongue. Latins don't use either of the two words for heat that I mentioned. They don't use the words caliente or calor. Instead they'll say the chili pica pica pica which loosely translates to the word bite as an insect bite. Derived from the Spanish word picar p-i-c-a-r picar meaning to pick at which makes sense. In reference to certain annoying insects that'll pick at you. Though bees and hornets that'll sting you not pick at you are referred to in this way too. So if a Latin does get nailed by a bee they'll say mierda me pica meaning crap had got me. And like I said it comes from the verb picar p-i-c-a-r not picard ending in a D. Like bald as a
[20:35] cue ball captain John Luke picard. Though thinking of odd connections like that does enhance the memory process. Picar picard easy huh? But where were we? Oh yeah. When a Latin here gets an insect bite you'll see me pica which means it bit me. Me of course meaning me and pica meaning bite. And by the way the word me in Spanish is m-i exactly the same as m-e me in English. However in Spanish the word I is not the letter I at all it's the word yo. As in yo dude what up? Spelled y-o just like yo yo. So yo is I and me is me m-i me. So what's that got to do with anything? Yo ho ho in a bottle of tequila right? Now I'm just
[21:21] mentioning this stuff because you're gonna hear and use these words all the time. So why should you mangle a language if you don't have to? Now I just mentioned that hot peppers and mosquitoes bite pica p-i-c-a but that's not to be confused with pico p-i-c-o. And believe me even after a few years down here you're bound to confuse the two. Why? Because most Spanish words are gender specific. Most times when referring to a female or an object a noun that's considered feminine the word will end in an a. You knew that already right? And when referring to a man or a masculine object or noun the word will end in oh with some exceptions of course and you knew that too right? Anyway pico p-i-c-o is not the masculine form of pica though it may seem that way it's one of the exceptions to that rule but still most gringles will screw that up no matter
[22:07] how many years they're down here. Now the word pico p-i-c-o is the Spanish word for beak like a chicken beak or any bird beak or for that matter a bill on a duck. However in Spanish slang that word's been transformed into the word picaro that's picaro and you'll hear that all the time down here in Latin America and what that means is a person who's forward or cheeky or ballsy or sexually aggressive or rude like for example if a young lady's walking down the street and guys are whistling and howling at her you know making sounds low-class guys occasionally make and you do hear and see that stuff all the time down here especially when young adolescents and men are in groups young ladies going to and from work are always victims of that kind of stuff up north they'd call it sexual harassment but down here they call it normal and typical of
[22:57] lower-class grunt working males they might say a few outrageous things but they'll also hiss sounding something like this annoying ladies and women to no end which is why you see so many young ladies walking at a pretty stiff pace to and from work or school or whatever including to the bus stop where they really get harassed since they're often stuck there waiting a while anyway especially when a lady's walking alone she'll often be moving at a very deliberate rapid pace head up looking straight ahead and trying not to make eye contact with any of these guys that's why if you ask me or any gringo or gringo for that matter it's a very tough life being a school girl or young woman in Latin America if you don't have a car or some kind of private transportation and again that's one of the social aspects of the gringo
[23:44] advantage pretty much every gringo and expat who establishes his or herself down here has a car or uses taxis and doesn't use public transportation or chicken buses which pushes us first-worlders to the front of the class in dating and mating eligibility and as simple and as crass as that sounds that's just the way it is down here in fact any guy with a decent car Latin guys included of course he becomes a knight in shining armor to any middle class Latin woman who's constantly being harassed at the chicken bus stop and that's why all you first-world ladies had planned on coming down number one never forget how macho this society is and that you probably will be sexually harassed in small ways like that hissing business and stuff you'll have to try to get used to things like that or it'll drive you nuts because there's
[24:31] absolutely no recourse things like that will happen practically every day you're out and about in public doing your business and number two you first-world ladies never forget just how much Latin men prefer gringas over their own women though you should know this I've heard more than a few Latin ladies tell me they don't like it at all when taxi drivers and construction workers hiss at them but it's even worse when they hiss no more go figure huh anyway guys who whistle and hiss at women or say suggestive things to women they generally don't know they're called picaros p-i-c-r-o picaro and of course there also exists the female form of the word picara but it's very rarely used about 99% of the time it's the guy who's the picaro they're the ones that
[25:18] are sexually forward and rude not the women so if someone calls a woman a picara it's no laughing matter and she'll probably feel duly insulted unless of course she's with a bunch of her friends or relatives and they're joking about it since the topic does come up quite a bit at parties and such and Latin's when they get together are real big on jokes like that but it's different when you're around people you don't know if a guy is called a picaro and of course it'll be a woman that calls him that he'll almost take it as a compliment especially if he's with a group of his buddies because then he'll have sort of earned their twisted respect Latin guys are macho and feel they're supposed to be a bit sexually aggressive married and attached with kids in a family or not that's just the way it is so that's how many Latin men
[26:04] act both with ladies they know and the ones they don't and that's why earlier when I said that many gringos and expats even long-term expats make the mistake of using that word caliente when it's a hot day and everybody's feeling the heat thinking that's the proper word to use which is a big faux pas you're supposed to use calor especially when directed at a woman anyway if a Latin guy was to say that he would be a picaro but because we're gringos and Latin's in general cut us a lot of slack when we screw up like that even in a sexual context we're not considered picaros just slightly clueless gringos oh and one last thing about mother-in-laws suegras now that word suegra has another meaning too it's the same word that Latin's used for the hard tough part of the crust on an old piece of bread which says a lot how that word suegra
[26:53] for a mother-in-law came into general use hey I'm not making this up you know which is kind of a contradiction in a sense since as I mentioned earlier in the show most married Latins don't have typical mother-in-law problems as we know them up north and on the whole have very good relationships with both of their in-laws but there is one thing since in a macho society mothers treat their sons like little princes that means you'll find Latin American mothers believe that whatever woman her son brings home is never good enough and of course we know that happens up in the states too but Latin mothers can be fanatical about it except when it comes to gringos and gringas you've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America coming to you twice a week
[27:41] from somewhere south of the border email me the expat files at gmail.com and don't forget to check out expat wisdom.com to sign up for your free reports on Latin America see you next time nos vemos